1 00:00:03,529 --> 00:00:05,997 As humans, we need training in social skills... 2 00:00:06,169 --> 00:00:07,363 ...conversational distance. 3 00:00:07,529 --> 00:00:09,884 Don't you hate these people that talk into your mouth... 4 00:00:10,049 --> 00:00:12,165 ...like you're a clown at a drive-through? 5 00:00:12,809 --> 00:00:14,037 And handshakes is the worst. 6 00:00:14,209 --> 00:00:16,643 There's absolutely no guidelines for handshakes. 7 00:00:16,809 --> 00:00:18,845 You know how many people-? Too strong, too weak. 8 00:00:19,009 --> 00:00:20,158 Sometimes they give you... 9 00:00:20,329 --> 00:00:22,399 ...the three-quarter handshake, just the fingers. 10 00:00:22,569 --> 00:00:24,048 Early release, late release. 11 00:00:24,209 --> 00:00:26,677 Sometimes people will dispute your release. 12 00:00:26,849 --> 00:00:29,238 You've let go. They're hanging on. 13 00:00:29,409 --> 00:00:32,958 I have actually said to people, "Hey, the handshake is over." 14 00:00:34,329 --> 00:00:36,638 Too many pumps, coming in too high... 15 00:00:36,809 --> 00:00:40,085 ...too sweaty, from too far away. 16 00:00:40,249 --> 00:00:43,047 Sometimes a guy will give you a strong grip, late release... 17 00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:45,439 ...and pull you in for the too-close conversation. 18 00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:49,240 To him I say, "That's three strikes. You're out." 19 00:00:54,969 --> 00:00:56,766 You know, the timing couldn't be worse. 20 00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:59,085 Is there a good time to have parents stay with you? 21 00:00:59,529 --> 00:01:02,327 I haven't been together with Rachel for three weeks. 22 00:01:02,569 --> 00:01:05,163 First I was on the road, then my parents show up. 23 00:01:05,329 --> 00:01:07,365 I'm getting a little backed up. 24 00:01:09,369 --> 00:01:11,803 - When are they leaving for Paris? - Not for three days. 25 00:01:11,969 --> 00:01:14,403 - What about her place? - She lives with her parents. 26 00:01:14,569 --> 00:01:15,797 Really? 27 00:01:15,969 --> 00:01:19,359 Maybe this will become, like, a cool thing, living with your parents. 28 00:01:19,609 --> 00:01:21,361 Then maybe baldness will catch on. 29 00:01:22,969 --> 00:01:25,005 Things will all be turning your way. 30 00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:28,683 Hey, believe me, baldness will catch on. 31 00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:31,926 When the aliens come, who do you think they're gonna relate to? 32 00:01:32,089 --> 00:01:34,319 Who do you think's gonna be getting tour of the ship? 33 00:01:34,489 --> 00:01:36,127 The baldies. 34 00:01:36,289 --> 00:01:38,644 My parents want your parents over for dinner. 35 00:01:38,809 --> 00:01:41,004 Good. I get the apartment for at least one night. 36 00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:44,047 I'm paying for this Paris trip. It's their anniversary present. 37 00:01:45,129 --> 00:01:46,642 - Hey, guys. - Hey, Alec. 38 00:01:46,809 --> 00:01:48,242 - Hey, Alec. - This is Joey. 39 00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:50,639 - Hey, Joey, how are you doing? - Hey, listen... 40 00:01:50,809 --> 00:01:53,528 ...I was wondering if you'd be interested in doing some work... 41 00:01:53,689 --> 00:01:56,886 ...for the Big Brother program. I'm kind of running the local chapter. 42 00:01:57,729 --> 00:01:59,640 What do you say, George? 43 00:01:59,889 --> 00:02:01,845 - Well... - Wouldn't you... 44 00:02:02,009 --> 00:02:05,081 ...like to be a Big Brother to someone like me? 45 00:02:05,249 --> 00:02:07,126 Please? 46 00:02:07,329 --> 00:02:08,887 Well... 47 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,484 ...sure, Joey, sure. 48 00:02:11,729 --> 00:02:14,004 I would be thrilled. 49 00:02:14,169 --> 00:02:16,399 That's great. Thanks. I'll get in touch with you. 50 00:02:16,569 --> 00:02:18,287 Wouldn't you like to be a Big Brother-? 51 00:02:18,449 --> 00:02:19,848 All right, Joey. That's enough. 52 00:02:20,009 --> 00:02:21,362 Let's go. See you. 53 00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:24,286 - What happened? - What could I do? 54 00:02:24,449 --> 00:02:26,405 Did you see the mug on that kid? 55 00:02:26,969 --> 00:02:30,678 Wouldn't you like to pass the ketchup to someone like me? 56 00:02:31,409 --> 00:02:32,808 Please? 57 00:02:33,289 --> 00:02:34,563 Have you noticed they moved... 58 00:02:34,729 --> 00:02:36,447 ...where they do the interview on Jeopardy? 59 00:02:36,609 --> 00:02:38,600 Yeah. It was in the middle of Single Jeopardy. 60 00:02:38,769 --> 00:02:41,647 - Now it's after Single Jeopardy. - Yeah. It's much better, isn't it? 61 00:02:41,809 --> 00:02:43,037 Oh, no comparison. 62 00:02:43,209 --> 00:02:46,007 I gotta get my parents one of those French-English dictionaries. 63 00:02:47,049 --> 00:02:49,324 - Hey, hey, hey. - What? 64 00:02:49,969 --> 00:02:51,607 Your parents are going to Paris, right? 65 00:02:51,769 --> 00:02:53,999 - Yeah. - So I tell Alec... 66 00:02:54,169 --> 00:02:57,047 ...that I have to go to Paris for an undetermined amount of time. 67 00:02:57,249 --> 00:02:59,126 Then all I have to do is buy postcards... 68 00:02:59,289 --> 00:03:01,678 ...and have your parents mail them from Paris. 69 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:04,238 - What about little Joey? - Who? 70 00:03:04,729 --> 00:03:07,118 - He's probably better off. - Yeah. 71 00:03:08,169 --> 00:03:10,285 I'm trying to get out of this Big Brother program. 72 00:03:10,449 --> 00:03:13,043 When you get to Paris, drop them in any mailbox. 73 00:03:13,209 --> 00:03:17,043 - But there are no stamps on these. - You gotta buy French stamps. 74 00:03:17,209 --> 00:03:19,484 I'll reimburse you, of course. 75 00:03:19,689 --> 00:03:20,963 Why are you doing this? 76 00:03:21,129 --> 00:03:22,847 He wants this guy to think he's in Paris. 77 00:03:23,009 --> 00:03:24,203 - Why? - Because George... 78 00:03:24,369 --> 00:03:26,121 ...is a deeply disturbed individual. 79 00:03:27,289 --> 00:03:31,487 Oh, hey, Helen. Could I use some more of your hand lotion? 80 00:03:31,649 --> 00:03:35,437 I told you it was good. It's from the Saks Fifth Avenue in Miami. 81 00:03:36,209 --> 00:03:38,279 I'll remember that if I'm ever in Florida. 82 00:03:38,449 --> 00:03:40,883 Yeah, or if ever on Fifth Avenue here in New York City. 83 00:03:41,049 --> 00:03:42,641 - You can get some there. - Yeah? 84 00:03:42,809 --> 00:03:45,801 Say, those are nice pants. I got a pair just like them at home. 85 00:03:45,969 --> 00:03:48,119 That doesn't surprise me. I bought these at Rudy's. 86 00:03:48,289 --> 00:03:51,884 It's a used clothing store. See, when people like you die... 87 00:03:52,049 --> 00:03:54,358 ...the widows, they bring in their wardrobes. 88 00:03:54,569 --> 00:03:57,527 - They make a bundle. - Really? 89 00:03:57,729 --> 00:04:00,562 My father's got a ton of old clothes just sitting up in the attic. 90 00:04:00,729 --> 00:04:03,118 - You think they're worth something? - If they're vintage. 91 00:04:03,289 --> 00:04:04,642 And you're a widow. 92 00:04:04,849 --> 00:04:07,522 What happens if the husband dies after the wife? 93 00:04:07,689 --> 00:04:10,965 - Who brings the clothing in then? - I suppose the children do. 94 00:04:11,929 --> 00:04:14,284 Yes, I suppose they do. 95 00:04:15,529 --> 00:04:17,963 All right. I got a 10:00. I'll see everybody later. 96 00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:29,037 Hey, I just remembered... 97 00:04:29,209 --> 00:04:32,042 ...my parents wanna have you over for dinner before you leave. 98 00:04:32,209 --> 00:04:34,120 - What about tonight? - Tonight? 99 00:04:34,289 --> 00:04:36,007 Yeah. They're making paella. 100 00:04:36,649 --> 00:04:39,083 I don't think we can make it tonight. We have plans. 101 00:04:39,249 --> 00:04:41,717 - What plans? - We have plans. 102 00:04:42,289 --> 00:04:44,757 - Where did you get plans? - We have plans. 103 00:04:45,169 --> 00:04:48,639 - Well, what about tomorrow night? - Maybe. 104 00:04:50,569 --> 00:04:52,400 Okay... 105 00:04:52,609 --> 00:04:54,247 - ... I guess I'll tell them that. - Okay. 106 00:04:54,769 --> 00:04:56,646 - Hey, give them our best, though. - Yeah. 107 00:04:56,809 --> 00:04:58,686 - I'll call you later. - Yeah. 108 00:05:03,329 --> 00:05:05,445 - So, what plans do you have? - None. 109 00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:07,884 So how come you're not going over there for dinner? 110 00:05:08,049 --> 00:05:11,007 Jerry, we don't care much for the Costanzas. 111 00:05:11,169 --> 00:05:13,319 We can't stand them. 112 00:05:14,129 --> 00:05:16,404 - Really? Since when? - Since always. 113 00:05:16,569 --> 00:05:18,764 - We've never liked them. - Why? 114 00:05:18,929 --> 00:05:20,885 Well, they're so loud. They're always fighting. 115 00:05:21,049 --> 00:05:22,641 It's uncomfortable. You never noticed? 116 00:05:22,809 --> 00:05:24,606 I noticed. But they're from your age group. 117 00:05:24,769 --> 00:05:26,248 I didn't think you could detect... 118 00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:28,206 ...abnormal behaviour among your own kind. 119 00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:29,643 Well, we do. 120 00:05:32,169 --> 00:05:35,241 - Yeah? - It's us. 121 00:05:35,409 --> 00:05:37,161 Oh, come on up. 122 00:05:38,249 --> 00:05:41,082 - It's Elaine. You have any problem? - We adore Elaine. 123 00:05:41,249 --> 00:05:43,524 - She's with her new boyfriend. - What's he like? 124 00:05:43,689 --> 00:05:46,123 - He's nice. A bit of a close talker. - A what? 125 00:05:46,289 --> 00:05:48,484 You'll see. 126 00:05:48,649 --> 00:05:51,561 I really had no idea that you felt this way about the Costanzas. 127 00:05:51,729 --> 00:05:54,766 They're exhausting. It's like being in an asylum. 128 00:05:55,569 --> 00:05:57,321 - Hi. - Hi. 129 00:05:57,489 --> 00:05:58,922 - There she is. - Hello, Elaine. 130 00:05:59,089 --> 00:06:01,319 Hi, Mrs. Seinfeld. 131 00:06:01,489 --> 00:06:03,241 Oh, this is Aaron. 132 00:06:03,409 --> 00:06:05,001 - Hello, Aaron. - Hello. 133 00:06:05,169 --> 00:06:06,921 How long are you folks in town? 134 00:06:08,529 --> 00:06:12,363 Three more days. Three more days, and then we're off to Paris. 135 00:06:12,529 --> 00:06:14,759 We're going with a select charter group. 136 00:06:14,929 --> 00:06:17,318 I love France. I was just there last year. 137 00:06:17,489 --> 00:06:18,808 In fact... 138 00:06:19,089 --> 00:06:22,206 ...you know, I still have an envelope full of French francs. 139 00:06:22,409 --> 00:06:23,922 I'll give them to you. 140 00:06:24,289 --> 00:06:25,642 We can't take money. 141 00:06:25,809 --> 00:06:28,607 No. It's a gift. From us. 142 00:06:28,769 --> 00:06:32,125 Oh, that is so nice, Aaron. 143 00:06:32,289 --> 00:06:33,642 Isn't he nice? 144 00:06:33,809 --> 00:06:35,800 Has Jerry been showing you a good time? 145 00:06:35,969 --> 00:06:37,641 No, I haven't. 146 00:06:37,809 --> 00:06:39,720 You know, I have a friend... 147 00:06:39,889 --> 00:06:43,086 ...who works at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. 148 00:06:43,289 --> 00:06:45,041 How'd you like a behind-the-scenes tour? 149 00:06:45,209 --> 00:06:48,360 - Really? You could do that? - Easily. 150 00:06:48,529 --> 00:06:50,406 - It wouldn't be any trouble? - Of course not. 151 00:06:50,569 --> 00:06:52,844 - When could we go? - How about right now? 152 00:06:53,009 --> 00:06:54,727 - I'm ready. - Are you sure? 153 00:06:54,889 --> 00:06:57,005 - Yes! - Okay, let me get my coat. 154 00:06:57,169 --> 00:06:59,239 Elaine, what do you say? 155 00:06:59,409 --> 00:07:01,559 Well, I don't think so, Aaron. 156 00:07:02,569 --> 00:07:04,082 I have plans. 157 00:07:05,529 --> 00:07:07,167 How about you, Jerry? 158 00:07:07,329 --> 00:07:08,921 I'm swamped. 159 00:07:09,089 --> 00:07:12,445 You sure? You can examine the artwork up close. 160 00:07:12,689 --> 00:07:14,281 Maybe I'll try and catch up with you. 161 00:07:15,089 --> 00:07:16,841 Yeah, that will happen. 162 00:07:17,169 --> 00:07:18,443 All right. We're off. 163 00:07:18,609 --> 00:07:19,803 - Okay. Bye. - Let's go. 164 00:07:19,969 --> 00:07:21,641 Okay. Bye-bye. Have a good time. 165 00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:22,958 - Bye. - See everybody later. 166 00:07:23,129 --> 00:07:25,006 - Okay. - Bye. 167 00:07:25,169 --> 00:07:27,729 Why would he ask your parents to go to a museum? 168 00:07:27,889 --> 00:07:29,402 - I don't know. - What is that? 169 00:07:29,569 --> 00:07:31,400 Maybe he was just trying to be nice. 170 00:07:31,569 --> 00:07:34,129 Have you ever heard of anyone doing anything like this? 171 00:07:34,289 --> 00:07:37,201 Wait a second. He just did me a big favour. 172 00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:39,519 - What? - He got them out of the house. 173 00:07:39,689 --> 00:07:41,600 - What? - I can call Rachel. 174 00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,847 Oh, no. I got the machine. 175 00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:46,808 Rachel are you there? I got the place to myself for a few hours. 176 00:07:46,969 --> 00:07:49,005 Rachel, where are you? 177 00:07:49,209 --> 00:07:51,086 Rachel! 178 00:07:52,449 --> 00:07:55,725 Sorry, pal. Wish I could help you out. 179 00:07:58,449 --> 00:08:00,804 - They're not coming? - No. They had plans. 180 00:08:00,969 --> 00:08:02,118 How could they have plans? 181 00:08:02,289 --> 00:08:03,802 What difference does it make? 182 00:08:03,969 --> 00:08:05,163 They wouldn't lie to us. 183 00:08:05,329 --> 00:08:07,638 - They're our dear friends. - What am I supposed to do... 184 00:08:07,809 --> 00:08:10,039 - ... with all this paella? - They said tomorrow, maybe. 185 00:08:10,209 --> 00:08:12,165 - Maybe? - Maybe they don't like us. 186 00:08:12,329 --> 00:08:14,160 Why wouldn't they like us? 187 00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:19,362 Again with the pepper? What do you gotta use all that pepper for? 188 00:08:19,529 --> 00:08:22,601 - Keep quiet. - You trying to set my mouth on fire? 189 00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:25,639 I don't know what the reason could be. 190 00:08:30,369 --> 00:08:32,041 - Hello. - Oh, hi. 191 00:08:32,209 --> 00:08:33,483 What a day. 192 00:08:33,649 --> 00:08:36,482 Jerry, you would not believe the time we had. 193 00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:38,207 Aaron is quite the tour guide. 194 00:08:38,369 --> 00:08:40,644 Have you ever seen those Impressionist paintings? 195 00:08:40,809 --> 00:08:43,721 - Oh, sure, like Monet. - Don't you think he had to be... 196 00:08:43,889 --> 00:08:46,608 ...nearsighted? Nobody would paint like that if they could see. 197 00:08:46,769 --> 00:08:48,202 It's all out of focus. 198 00:08:48,369 --> 00:08:50,325 He's from the Impressionist school, you know... 199 00:08:50,489 --> 00:08:53,322 ...like Monet, Manet, Tippy-tippy-day-day. 200 00:08:53,489 --> 00:08:56,128 I say that guy was painting without his glasses. 201 00:08:58,289 --> 00:09:00,883 Hello. Rachel. 202 00:09:01,649 --> 00:09:02,923 Yeah. 203 00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:06,125 No. They're back. 204 00:09:07,209 --> 00:09:10,758 Jerry, if you have something to do, we can just sit right here and read. 205 00:09:10,929 --> 00:09:12,965 Yes. Well... 206 00:09:13,129 --> 00:09:15,359 ...I'm sorry too. Listen, I'll call you later. 207 00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:17,242 Okay. Bye. 208 00:09:17,409 --> 00:09:18,888 Well, I should be going. 209 00:09:19,049 --> 00:09:20,767 Oh, thanks again. 210 00:09:20,929 --> 00:09:22,157 - Goodbye. - Goodbye. 211 00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:25,002 - Hey. - Oh, you must be Kramer. 212 00:09:25,169 --> 00:09:27,046 I've heard about you. 213 00:09:31,569 --> 00:09:33,480 Hey, you must be Aaron. I've heard about you. 214 00:09:35,689 --> 00:09:37,168 - Well, see you later. - Yeah. 215 00:09:37,969 --> 00:09:39,561 - Bye. - Okay. 216 00:09:41,209 --> 00:09:42,927 So, what are you guys doing for dinner? 217 00:09:43,089 --> 00:09:45,478 - We have no plans. - Look at that, Helen. 218 00:09:45,649 --> 00:09:48,117 Do you see what he's wearing? That's the Executive. 219 00:09:48,289 --> 00:09:50,519 - What is the Executive? - The beltless trench coat. 220 00:09:50,689 --> 00:09:52,520 - My father invented it. - I sure did. 221 00:09:52,689 --> 00:09:55,681 Raincoats were my business. The Executive was a classic. 222 00:09:55,849 --> 00:09:57,760 These haven't been made in 20 years. 223 00:09:57,929 --> 00:09:59,806 Why would they? Nobody bought them then. 224 00:10:00,569 --> 00:10:03,561 - He's wearing one. - These are a hot item at Rudy's. 225 00:10:03,729 --> 00:10:05,162 You don't say. 226 00:10:05,329 --> 00:10:08,560 You know, I have boxes of those sitting in my garage in Florida. 227 00:10:08,769 --> 00:10:09,963 Get them up here. 228 00:10:10,129 --> 00:10:12,689 You give me 25 percent, I'll take care of everything. 229 00:10:12,849 --> 00:10:14,999 - You got a deal. - Yeah. 230 00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:18,765 This is like the meeting of Smith and Wesson. 231 00:10:19,649 --> 00:10:22,243 I'll call Jack Klompus. He's got a key to the garage. 232 00:10:22,409 --> 00:10:25,958 - He can send them overnight delivery. - You're gonna start shipping boxes? 233 00:10:26,129 --> 00:10:29,326 - We're leaving for Paris in three days. - He'll send them express. 234 00:10:29,489 --> 00:10:32,128 - You're crazy. - I'll tell you how crazy I am. 235 00:10:32,289 --> 00:10:34,086 I'm paying for this trip with these coats. 236 00:10:34,249 --> 00:10:36,683 - I'm paying for the trip. - So much the better. 237 00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:42,164 Anyway, it's kind of a fluke thing... 238 00:10:42,329 --> 00:10:45,207 ...but I'll be leaving for Paris in two days. 239 00:10:46,329 --> 00:10:49,321 I will send you a postcard when I get there. 240 00:10:49,969 --> 00:10:51,243 - Paris, huh? - Yeah. 241 00:10:51,409 --> 00:10:55,288 You know, I feel terrible about Joey, but it's a great business opportunity. 242 00:10:55,449 --> 00:10:57,599 I don't even know how long I'm gonna be away. 243 00:10:57,969 --> 00:10:59,846 Where will you stay? 244 00:11:00,049 --> 00:11:02,085 An apartment complex. The... 245 00:11:02,489 --> 00:11:04,320 The Eiffel Towers. 246 00:11:05,529 --> 00:11:09,204 Like I said, you'll be getting a postcard in a few days... 247 00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:11,007 ...and again, I'm sorry. 248 00:11:12,249 --> 00:11:15,559 George, you have no idea how fantastic this is. 249 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,442 - Fantastic? - Yeah. 250 00:11:17,809 --> 00:11:20,243 We've been trying to reunite Joey with his father... 251 00:11:20,449 --> 00:11:21,643 ...who lives in Paris. 252 00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,841 But he's afraid to fly alone. You know, he's kind of withdrawn... 253 00:11:26,049 --> 00:11:28,688 ...but he seems to take to you. 254 00:11:29,009 --> 00:11:33,161 - So it's a perfect solution. - Gee, what a coincidence. 255 00:11:34,609 --> 00:11:36,520 And you'll send me a postcard. 256 00:11:39,289 --> 00:11:41,962 Helen really seemed to respond to Renoir. 257 00:11:42,449 --> 00:11:45,646 I think she really connected with the way he painted children. 258 00:11:46,689 --> 00:11:48,281 And that Morty. 259 00:11:48,689 --> 00:11:51,442 I'll tell you, that old guy's full of life. 260 00:11:52,849 --> 00:11:56,080 He was convinced Monet was nearsighted. 261 00:11:56,769 --> 00:11:58,805 - I kept telling him- - Aaron? 262 00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:01,168 Yes? 263 00:12:01,809 --> 00:12:03,845 Let me ask you a question. 264 00:12:04,249 --> 00:12:06,319 How come you asked Mr. and Mrs. Seinfeld... 265 00:12:06,489 --> 00:12:07,888 ...to go to the museum with you? 266 00:12:08,209 --> 00:12:12,361 Well, they were in from out of town. I thought they'd enjoy it. 267 00:12:15,809 --> 00:12:17,288 You didn't feel uncomfortable... 268 00:12:17,449 --> 00:12:19,724 ...spending the whole day at the museum... 269 00:12:19,889 --> 00:12:22,608 ...with two complete strangers who are more than twice your age? 270 00:12:22,769 --> 00:12:24,202 No. 271 00:12:24,889 --> 00:12:26,607 It was fun. 272 00:12:27,249 --> 00:12:30,605 You had fun with Mr. and Mrs. Seinfeld? 273 00:12:30,769 --> 00:12:32,043 Yeah. 274 00:12:33,489 --> 00:12:34,968 They bought me a Coke. 275 00:12:38,889 --> 00:12:41,164 How'd you get the idea for the beltless trench coat? 276 00:12:41,329 --> 00:12:44,719 I came home one night, and I tripped over one of Jerry's toys. 277 00:12:45,809 --> 00:12:48,607 So I took out my belt, just to threaten him... 278 00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:51,687 ...and I got a glimpse of myself in the mirror. 279 00:12:53,449 --> 00:12:56,361 - How serendipitous. - So that night, I cut off the loops... 280 00:12:56,849 --> 00:12:59,079 ...and the Executive was born. 281 00:12:59,249 --> 00:13:02,002 He also had an idea for a brimless rain hat... 282 00:13:02,169 --> 00:13:04,046 ...but that never materialised. 283 00:13:04,209 --> 00:13:05,642 All right, come on. Let's play. 284 00:13:05,809 --> 00:13:08,482 - Did you call Jack Klompus? - I haven't been able to reach him. 285 00:13:08,649 --> 00:13:09,798 I'll call him right now. 286 00:13:09,969 --> 00:13:11,448 - Oh, come on. - Just a second. 287 00:13:11,649 --> 00:13:13,719 Jerry, have you seen Schindler's List? 288 00:13:13,889 --> 00:13:15,720 - No, I haven't seen it yet. - You have to go. 289 00:13:15,889 --> 00:13:17,163 - I'm going. - You have to. 290 00:13:17,329 --> 00:13:18,557 Okay. 291 00:13:19,569 --> 00:13:21,241 - Hello, Jack? - Yeah? 292 00:13:21,409 --> 00:13:23,240 - Jack, it's Morty. - Who died? 293 00:13:24,849 --> 00:13:28,125 Nobody died. Jack, I want you to do me a big favour. 294 00:13:28,689 --> 00:13:31,647 - In my garage are a couple of boxes. - What boxes? 295 00:13:31,889 --> 00:13:35,359 - I'm gonna explain what boxes. - All right. How the hell do I know? 296 00:13:35,569 --> 00:13:37,400 Anyway, there are these three big boxes... 297 00:13:37,569 --> 00:13:40,367 ...you can't miss them, I want you to ship them here to New York. 298 00:13:40,529 --> 00:13:42,087 I thought you were going to Paris. 299 00:13:42,249 --> 00:13:43,682 I'm still going to Paris. 300 00:13:43,849 --> 00:13:45,567 I got a big deal cooking here. 301 00:13:45,849 --> 00:13:48,158 - What's in the boxes? - Raincoats. 302 00:13:48,329 --> 00:13:49,523 Raincoats? 303 00:13:49,689 --> 00:13:52,601 You think you're gonna sell those old crappy raincoats? 304 00:13:52,769 --> 00:13:53,963 That's garbage. 305 00:13:54,129 --> 00:13:57,166 I guarantee you, Doris won't let him mail those boxes. 306 00:13:57,329 --> 00:13:59,559 - When do you want these? - Send them tomorrow. 307 00:14:01,329 --> 00:14:03,604 So you think they're coming tonight? 308 00:14:03,809 --> 00:14:05,640 I don't know. They said maybe. 309 00:14:05,809 --> 00:14:07,879 Of course they're coming. They're leaving soon. 310 00:14:08,049 --> 00:14:10,847 - If they don't come, they won't see us. - Well, they better come. 311 00:14:11,049 --> 00:14:12,528 I got all this paella. 312 00:14:13,409 --> 00:14:17,243 I admire Morty and Helen going to France. 313 00:14:17,449 --> 00:14:19,087 We should take a trip. 314 00:14:19,569 --> 00:14:20,843 Maybe a cruise. 315 00:14:21,649 --> 00:14:22,923 Yes, a cruise. 316 00:14:23,089 --> 00:14:24,841 A long cruise. 317 00:14:25,009 --> 00:14:26,203 Just the two of you. 318 00:14:26,369 --> 00:14:29,884 Georgie, what were you doing poking around the attic last night? 319 00:14:33,089 --> 00:14:35,683 - I wasn't in the attic. - I heard noise. 320 00:14:36,889 --> 00:14:40,040 - Maybe it was a mouse. - Okay, that's it! We're moving! 321 00:14:40,209 --> 00:14:44,043 - What? - I will not tolerate infestation. 322 00:14:44,609 --> 00:14:46,122 You haven't even seen one. 323 00:14:46,289 --> 00:14:49,201 Don't you understand? The very thought, the very idea. 324 00:14:49,369 --> 00:14:51,041 I'll never be comfortable again. 325 00:14:51,209 --> 00:14:52,847 All right, Frank. That's enough. 326 00:14:59,409 --> 00:15:02,287 I guess I've been hanging on to them for so long... 327 00:15:03,209 --> 00:15:06,758 ...because I couldn't accept the fact that Dad was really gone forever. 328 00:15:09,289 --> 00:15:11,280 They will get a good home, won't they? 329 00:15:11,449 --> 00:15:13,804 I gotta be honest, there's nothing here too spectacular. 330 00:15:13,969 --> 00:15:15,687 Oh, I beg to differ. 331 00:15:16,609 --> 00:15:19,567 My father took great pride in his appearance. 332 00:15:19,809 --> 00:15:21,879 He was a very handsome man, a Casanova, really. 333 00:15:22,049 --> 00:15:24,324 I'll give you $200 for the three boxes. 334 00:15:25,529 --> 00:15:28,680 Could you make it 225? That was his high game in bowling. 335 00:15:30,129 --> 00:15:31,881 Yeah, I'm in a good mood. Here. 336 00:15:32,209 --> 00:15:33,608 Thank you. 337 00:15:33,769 --> 00:15:35,725 Hey, George. What are you doing here? 338 00:15:37,089 --> 00:15:41,321 I'm just selling some of Dad's things. That's what he would have wanted. 339 00:15:41,489 --> 00:15:43,320 Oh, I got you. 340 00:15:44,529 --> 00:15:46,918 - That'll do. - Hey, guess what. 341 00:15:47,169 --> 00:15:50,286 Morty Seinfeld and I are going into business together, selling raincoats. 342 00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:52,121 - That's swell. - We worked it out... 343 00:15:52,289 --> 00:15:53,961 - ... all over dinner last night. - Dinner? 344 00:15:54,289 --> 00:15:57,759 - You had dinner with the Seinfelds? - Yeah, last night. 345 00:15:58,049 --> 00:15:59,721 Was this something you had planned? 346 00:15:59,889 --> 00:16:01,641 No, it was spur of the moment. 347 00:16:01,929 --> 00:16:05,808 Well, you know Morty. He likes to fly by the seat of his vintage pants. 348 00:16:06,609 --> 00:16:08,839 They had plans, huh? They had plans! 349 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,847 Boy, I've never seen these before. They just came in. 350 00:16:13,009 --> 00:16:15,443 Part of my springtime cruise collection. 351 00:16:16,049 --> 00:16:18,802 - Two for $25. - Oh, I'll take these. Yeah. 352 00:16:19,449 --> 00:16:21,644 Hey, remember this raincoat that you sold me? 353 00:16:21,809 --> 00:16:23,162 Sure. That's the Executive. 354 00:16:23,329 --> 00:16:26,127 - Do you have any others? - I wish. They don't make it anymore. 355 00:16:26,369 --> 00:16:29,327 Suppose I told you I have 50 in mint condition. You interested? 356 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,559 - Very interested. - They're coming in from Florida. 357 00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:33,287 - Bring them in. - So you'll buy them? 358 00:16:33,449 --> 00:16:35,405 I don't see what would possibly stop me. 359 00:16:49,169 --> 00:16:51,239 They had plans, huh? They were busy. 360 00:16:51,409 --> 00:16:53,969 They were busy with their big plans, huh? 361 00:16:54,129 --> 00:16:56,359 - What are you talking about? - Mom and Pop Seinfeld. 362 00:16:56,529 --> 00:16:58,918 - Look, I don't know. - I know what they did last night. 363 00:16:59,089 --> 00:17:01,762 - They had dinner with Kramer. - It was a last-minute thing. 364 00:17:01,929 --> 00:17:03,567 They won't have dinner with my parents? 365 00:17:03,729 --> 00:17:05,447 - Right. - Something wrong with my parents? 366 00:17:05,609 --> 00:17:07,839 - Absolutely. - My parents are wonderful people. 367 00:17:08,009 --> 00:17:10,239 - These the same people you live with? - Yes. 368 00:17:12,609 --> 00:17:15,885 - Are they coming tonight or not? - I don't know what their plans are. 369 00:17:16,049 --> 00:17:18,438 Okay. Fine. 370 00:17:18,609 --> 00:17:20,042 It's gonna be very interesting... 371 00:17:20,449 --> 00:17:23,202 ...very interesting if they don't show up tonight. 372 00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:25,923 You know, my mother made all this paella. 373 00:17:26,089 --> 00:17:27,886 What is that anyway? 374 00:17:28,569 --> 00:17:29,922 It's a Spanish dish. 375 00:17:30,129 --> 00:17:32,723 It's a mélange of fish and meat with rice. 376 00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:34,880 - Very tasty. - I'll tell them. 377 00:17:35,049 --> 00:17:37,244 - Could you do one other thing for me? - Name it. 378 00:17:37,569 --> 00:17:39,525 Would your parents have any objections... 379 00:17:39,689 --> 00:17:41,805 ...to taking a little kid to Paris with them? 380 00:17:46,449 --> 00:17:49,964 It turns out that the kid's father lives in Paris. 381 00:17:50,129 --> 00:17:51,687 Is that a coincidence? 382 00:17:51,849 --> 00:17:54,283 You know, Alec wants me to take him over there... 383 00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:56,519 ...so I figure as long as they're going- 384 00:17:56,689 --> 00:17:59,681 You thought as long as they're mailing postcards... 385 00:17:59,849 --> 00:18:02,966 ...it wouldn't be too much to ask my parents to drag a child... 386 00:18:03,129 --> 00:18:06,121 ...who they've never seen through the streets of Paris? 387 00:18:07,329 --> 00:18:10,162 If you think it's too much, they don't have to mail the postcards. 388 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:15,728 So where's he taking you? 389 00:18:15,889 --> 00:18:18,801 Well, first we're going to a matinee. I'm taking the afternoon off. 390 00:18:18,969 --> 00:18:20,561 We're gonna go see My Fair Lady. 391 00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:22,919 And then we're gonna go to dinner. 392 00:18:23,129 --> 00:18:26,758 - He knows all these fantastic places. - You are one lucky girl. 393 00:18:28,329 --> 00:18:30,047 Wish I could find a nice guy. 394 00:18:30,889 --> 00:18:33,119 - Hi, Aaron. - Hey, Joanne. 395 00:18:34,369 --> 00:18:35,961 - Hey. - Hi. 396 00:18:38,049 --> 00:18:40,847 - Hello, hello. - Hello, Elaine. 397 00:18:45,769 --> 00:18:48,329 I was able to finagle two more tickets to My Fair Lady... 398 00:18:48,489 --> 00:18:51,367 ...and I thought, why not ask Morty and Helen? 399 00:18:52,369 --> 00:18:54,724 - Great. - This is some office. 400 00:18:54,929 --> 00:18:56,487 What's the square footage? 401 00:18:56,849 --> 00:19:00,524 - You don't mind, do you, Elaine? - Mind? Oh, of course not. 402 00:19:00,689 --> 00:19:02,919 We can make a whole day of it. 403 00:19:03,089 --> 00:19:04,522 This is some building. 404 00:19:04,689 --> 00:19:06,759 Harry Fleming used to have an office here. 405 00:19:06,929 --> 00:19:09,318 There was a deli on the first floor. 406 00:19:09,489 --> 00:19:11,878 You don't get corned beef like that anymore. 407 00:19:12,769 --> 00:19:13,963 What happened to that deli? 408 00:19:14,689 --> 00:19:16,680 I really don't know, Mr. Seinfeld. 409 00:19:59,649 --> 00:20:01,446 We better not. 410 00:20:03,009 --> 00:20:05,477 They're gonna be here any second. 411 00:20:05,689 --> 00:20:06,963 When are they leaving? 412 00:20:07,169 --> 00:20:08,841 In two days. 413 00:20:09,009 --> 00:20:11,887 - It's been so long. - I know. 414 00:20:12,049 --> 00:20:13,721 Okay. 415 00:20:14,449 --> 00:20:17,282 - It's only two more days. - Right. 416 00:20:17,489 --> 00:20:19,241 Thursday, 3:00. 417 00:20:25,489 --> 00:20:27,798 - Oh, hi. - We didn't know you had company. 418 00:20:27,969 --> 00:20:29,766 Yeah. This is Rachel. 419 00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:31,408 - Hi. - Hello, Rachel. 420 00:20:31,569 --> 00:20:33,764 - We'll come back another time. - What other time? 421 00:20:33,929 --> 00:20:35,328 - Whenever. - Where you going? 422 00:20:35,489 --> 00:20:38,128 - We'll drive around for a while. - You don't have a car. 423 00:20:38,289 --> 00:20:40,200 - We'll take a bus. - Come on. Stop. 424 00:20:40,369 --> 00:20:41,882 - No, we don't mind. - I'll get a book. 425 00:20:42,049 --> 00:20:44,324 No, it's okay. I was just leaving anyway. 426 00:20:44,489 --> 00:20:46,480 Are you sure? Because we don't wanna- 427 00:20:46,649 --> 00:20:47,968 No, it's okay. 428 00:20:48,129 --> 00:20:50,438 - We'll go see Schindler's List, right? - Definitely. 429 00:20:50,649 --> 00:20:51,968 Okay. 430 00:20:52,689 --> 00:20:54,566 - It was nice meeting you. - Nice meeting you. 431 00:20:54,729 --> 00:20:56,287 - See you later. - Bye-bye. 432 00:20:57,489 --> 00:20:59,241 Boy, that was some show. 433 00:20:59,449 --> 00:21:01,519 - What show? - My Fair Lady. 434 00:21:01,729 --> 00:21:05,358 - When did you get tickets to see that? - Aaron surprised us, and Elaine came. 435 00:21:05,529 --> 00:21:07,406 Oh, Elaine? Really? 436 00:21:07,569 --> 00:21:09,560 Well, that sounds interesting. 437 00:21:09,729 --> 00:21:12,482 We saw Regis Philbin get out of a limousine. 438 00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,407 He looks better on TV. 439 00:21:18,449 --> 00:21:20,280 - Hello. - Hello, Jerry. 440 00:21:20,449 --> 00:21:22,565 - Yeah? - It's Jack Klompus. 441 00:21:22,729 --> 00:21:24,287 Oh, hi, Jack. 442 00:21:24,649 --> 00:21:27,004 So when are you coming down to Florida again? 443 00:21:27,169 --> 00:21:30,081 As soon as is humanly possible. 444 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:34,202 You know, I still got that pen, the one that writes upside down. 445 00:21:34,369 --> 00:21:37,327 Yeah. I should have kept it. 446 00:21:37,489 --> 00:21:40,322 - So where's your father? - Oh, he's right here. 447 00:21:41,489 --> 00:21:43,207 - Yeah? - Helo, Morty. 448 00:21:43,689 --> 00:21:46,726 Listen, I can't get in the garage. 449 00:21:46,889 --> 00:21:48,845 - What do you mean? - There is something... 450 00:21:49,009 --> 00:21:51,239 ...wrong with the key. The key doesn't work. 451 00:21:51,409 --> 00:21:53,843 - You gotta jiggle it a little bit. - I jiggled it. 452 00:21:54,009 --> 00:21:56,079 I jiggled it for 15 minutes. 453 00:21:56,249 --> 00:21:58,638 Tell him to come down here and get his own packages. 454 00:21:58,849 --> 00:22:01,317 You have nothing better to do than worry about his boxes? 455 00:22:01,489 --> 00:22:03,241 You gotta pull on the knob as you turn it. 456 00:22:03,409 --> 00:22:05,081 Get the hell out of here with your knob! 457 00:22:05,249 --> 00:22:06,602 What does he want from you? 458 00:22:06,769 --> 00:22:08,760 My idiot son could open that garage door. 459 00:22:09,089 --> 00:22:10,727 What did I do? 460 00:22:10,889 --> 00:22:13,198 Just do it first thing tomorrow. I need it. 461 00:22:14,849 --> 00:22:16,805 They'll be here first thing Thursday morning. 462 00:22:16,969 --> 00:22:19,722 Thursday morning? You know we're leaving at 3:00. 463 00:22:19,889 --> 00:22:21,880 Yeah, you're leaving at 3:00. 464 00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:24,324 - How will you get this done? - Don't worry about it. 465 00:22:24,489 --> 00:22:26,798 Yeah, how you gonna get all this done in time? 466 00:22:27,089 --> 00:22:29,887 They were drinking champagne in a buggy! 467 00:22:30,049 --> 00:22:32,517 - First Kramer, then Elaine? - Yeah. 468 00:22:32,729 --> 00:22:36,119 - It's a slap in the face. - What did we ever do to them? 469 00:22:36,289 --> 00:22:39,087 I wanna know what we did to them. 470 00:22:39,249 --> 00:22:41,638 What are they, too good for us? A raincoat salesman. 471 00:22:41,809 --> 00:22:44,801 - I could buy and sell them, like that. - The hell with them! 472 00:22:44,969 --> 00:22:48,325 The thing that bothers me the most is the lying. 473 00:22:49,249 --> 00:22:50,602 Well, let's forget about it. 474 00:22:50,769 --> 00:22:53,329 We're going on a beautiful vacation. 475 00:22:53,609 --> 00:22:54,837 Vacation? 476 00:22:55,009 --> 00:22:57,887 Your mother and I are planning on taking a cruise. 477 00:22:59,489 --> 00:23:01,878 But I can't find any of my vacation clothes. 478 00:23:02,049 --> 00:23:03,402 They were in the attic. 479 00:23:04,169 --> 00:23:05,443 The attic? 480 00:23:05,649 --> 00:23:07,924 You haven't worn any of those clothes for years. 481 00:23:08,169 --> 00:23:10,922 How can I go on a cruise without my cabana-wear? 482 00:23:11,089 --> 00:23:12,363 I love those clothes. 483 00:23:13,169 --> 00:23:14,921 A mouse! I saw a mouse! 484 00:23:16,409 --> 00:23:17,808 It's the remote. 485 00:23:20,729 --> 00:23:23,846 Where the hell are my clothes? I love those clothes. 486 00:23:24,649 --> 00:23:26,446 Lousy, moth-ridden crap. 487 00:23:29,409 --> 00:23:33,527 I'm not crazy about used clothes. I mean, they call it vintage... 488 00:23:33,689 --> 00:23:37,159 ...you know, to take your mind off what it really is, nasty-wear. 489 00:23:37,529 --> 00:23:40,362 Oh, it's clean, you know. People wear underwear. 490 00:23:40,529 --> 00:23:42,599 Yeah, well, they don't wear iron underwear. 491 00:23:42,769 --> 00:23:45,567 And that's what it's gonna take to get me in those clothes. 492 00:23:46,169 --> 00:23:48,842 I'll move into an apartment after a strange person moves out. 493 00:23:49,009 --> 00:23:51,569 Why would I wanna move into somebody's pants? 494 00:23:52,769 --> 00:23:55,283 There is no vintage underwear, of course. 495 00:23:55,489 --> 00:23:57,923 But it's not because a guy couldn't sell his underwear. 496 00:23:58,089 --> 00:23:59,841 It's because men wear their underwear... 497 00:24:00,009 --> 00:24:02,523 ...until it absolutely disintegrates. 498 00:24:02,769 --> 00:24:06,682 Men hang on to underwear until each individual... 499 00:24:06,849 --> 00:24:09,044 ...underwear molecule is so strained... 500 00:24:09,209 --> 00:24:11,598 ...it can barely retain the properties of a solid. 501 00:24:11,809 --> 00:24:14,767 It actually becomes underwear vapour. 502 00:24:14,929 --> 00:24:17,318 We don't even throw it out. We just open a window... 503 00:24:17,489 --> 00:24:19,480 ...and it goes out like dandelion spores. 504 00:24:19,689 --> 00:24:22,408 That's how men throw out underwear. We go- Then it's gone. 505 00:24:22,569 --> 00:24:24,241 That's it. It's just... 506 00:24:55,729 --> 00:24:59,005 - Hey, Jerry. - So how was the movie? 507 00:24:59,209 --> 00:25:02,724 Oh, really good. Really good. 508 00:25:03,009 --> 00:25:06,126 - Didn't three hours go by like that? - Like that. 509 00:25:06,289 --> 00:25:08,484 What about the end, with the list? 510 00:25:09,009 --> 00:25:11,159 Yeah, that was some list. 511 00:25:11,889 --> 00:25:13,607 What'd you think of the black and white? 512 00:25:14,289 --> 00:25:15,722 The black and white? 513 00:25:16,049 --> 00:25:18,005 The whole movie was in black and white. 514 00:25:18,169 --> 00:25:21,081 Oh, yeah, I didn't even realise. 515 00:25:21,369 --> 00:25:23,724 You don't think about it. There's so much going on. 516 00:25:23,889 --> 00:25:27,677 Yeah. Yeah. I tell you, I could see it again. 517 00:25:30,609 --> 00:25:33,328 So Klompus has the key, but the jerk couldn't open it up. 518 00:25:33,489 --> 00:25:37,801 All you gotta do is jiggle it. You just get it in there, jiggle it, jiggle it. 519 00:25:37,969 --> 00:25:40,529 Look, I find this whole thing very uninteresting. 520 00:25:40,689 --> 00:25:44,238 - When you get the coats, come in. - Oh, yeah. Hey, I'm on your side. 521 00:25:44,409 --> 00:25:45,808 Hey. What, again? 522 00:25:45,969 --> 00:25:48,085 I'm trying to buy some of the clothes back. 523 00:25:48,249 --> 00:25:50,126 Hey, wanna come over for dinner tonight? 524 00:25:50,289 --> 00:25:51,961 My mother made all this extra paella. 525 00:25:52,129 --> 00:25:53,767 Paella? Yeah, I'll be there. 526 00:25:54,409 --> 00:25:57,606 Apparently, the Seinfelds are too good for us. 527 00:25:57,809 --> 00:26:00,118 I shouldn't say anything bad about your partner. 528 00:26:00,289 --> 00:26:03,087 No, no. We're not really partners. I only get 25 percent. 529 00:26:03,369 --> 00:26:06,042 Twenty-five percent? It was your idea. 530 00:26:06,209 --> 00:26:08,928 - Yeah, I know. - You're doing all the legwork. 531 00:26:09,089 --> 00:26:11,000 - That's right. - He's ripping you off. 532 00:26:11,169 --> 00:26:14,445 - You're right. He's ripping me off. - You should be getting more. 533 00:26:14,609 --> 00:26:17,726 - He's ripping me off. - Don't let him take advantage of you. 534 00:26:21,169 --> 00:26:22,602 Oh, it's you. 535 00:26:22,769 --> 00:26:25,158 You're the one who sold me the moth-ridden cabana crap. 536 00:26:28,249 --> 00:26:30,126 You know, I've been thinking... 537 00:26:30,289 --> 00:26:32,359 ...why is Kramer getting 25 percent? 538 00:26:32,529 --> 00:26:34,121 Well, he told you about the place. 539 00:26:34,289 --> 00:26:36,041 So what? Why is that worth 25 percent? 540 00:26:36,209 --> 00:26:38,769 It's a finder's fee. You know what a finder's fee is? 541 00:26:38,929 --> 00:26:40,840 You find something, you get a fee. 542 00:26:41,009 --> 00:26:43,045 A finder's fee is 10 percent, no more. 543 00:26:43,209 --> 00:26:44,688 Well, it's too late now. 544 00:26:45,009 --> 00:26:47,887 Those are my coats. I saved them, I stored them. 545 00:26:48,049 --> 00:26:49,721 I've been waiting years for this payoff. 546 00:26:49,889 --> 00:26:52,198 Well, you're not gonna say anything. 547 00:26:52,369 --> 00:26:53,802 Hey. 548 00:26:54,849 --> 00:26:57,158 - I've been thinking about something. - Yeah, so have I- 549 00:26:57,329 --> 00:26:59,889 - I don't think the deal is fair. - You don't think it's fair? 550 00:27:00,049 --> 00:27:02,609 No, no. I found the place. I set the whole thing up. 551 00:27:02,769 --> 00:27:04,839 - I'm doing all the legwork. - What legwork? 552 00:27:05,009 --> 00:27:07,603 - There's legwork. - If anything, you're getting too much. 553 00:27:07,769 --> 00:27:09,885 - Too much? - That's right. They're my coats. 554 00:27:10,049 --> 00:27:11,368 Okay, look, I want 35 percent. 555 00:27:11,529 --> 00:27:12,928 I'm thinking more like 15. 556 00:27:13,129 --> 00:27:16,360 - No way I'm taking 15. - Well, you're not getting 35! 557 00:27:16,529 --> 00:27:18,281 All right, let's compromise. 558 00:27:18,569 --> 00:27:21,561 - Twenty-five percent. - Okay, it's a deal. 559 00:27:23,329 --> 00:27:26,526 Moths are the scourge of my business. All it takes is one moth to lay eggs. 560 00:27:26,689 --> 00:27:29,157 Know what happens to the larvae? They hatch everywhere. 561 00:27:29,329 --> 00:27:30,682 Well, I'm sorry. 562 00:27:30,849 --> 00:27:33,158 Here's your money back. And I'll take the clothes. 563 00:27:33,329 --> 00:27:35,889 This will hardly put a dent in my fumigation bill. 564 00:27:36,049 --> 00:27:39,166 - So where are the clothes? - I burned them. 565 00:27:40,769 --> 00:27:42,122 That's good. 566 00:27:43,969 --> 00:27:45,880 Now, I know they're your parents, Jerry... 567 00:27:46,049 --> 00:27:47,562 ...and they're very nice people. 568 00:27:48,129 --> 00:27:49,801 But don't you think it's odd... 569 00:27:49,969 --> 00:27:53,644 ...that a 35-year-old man is going to these lengths... 570 00:27:53,809 --> 00:27:56,528 ...to see that someone else's parents are enjoying themselves? 571 00:27:56,689 --> 00:27:58,919 I mean, don't you find that abnormal? 572 00:27:59,169 --> 00:28:01,683 It is a tad askew. 573 00:28:02,849 --> 00:28:05,204 I mean, they're your parents, and you don't do anything. 574 00:28:05,369 --> 00:28:06,597 Why's this stranger doing it? 575 00:28:06,769 --> 00:28:08,202 I've hardly been out with them. 576 00:28:08,369 --> 00:28:10,564 See? See? And I can't even say anything... 577 00:28:10,729 --> 00:28:13,289 ...you know, because all he's really doing is being nice... 578 00:28:13,449 --> 00:28:15,963 ...but nobody's this nice. This is, like... 579 00:28:16,169 --> 00:28:19,559 - ... certifiably nice. - You're right. He's insane. 580 00:28:19,729 --> 00:28:22,687 Yes, he's insane. That's what I think. 581 00:28:23,089 --> 00:28:24,841 - So, what are you gonna do? - I don't know. 582 00:28:25,009 --> 00:28:26,681 I don't know what to do. 583 00:28:26,969 --> 00:28:29,608 Oh, God. So how was the movie? 584 00:28:29,769 --> 00:28:32,681 From what I saw, it was pretty good. 585 00:28:32,889 --> 00:28:34,481 What do you mean, "from what you saw"? 586 00:28:34,689 --> 00:28:38,125 Well, I didn't actually get to see the whole movie. 587 00:28:38,769 --> 00:28:40,680 Yeah, why not? 588 00:28:41,049 --> 00:28:45,406 I was kind of making out. 589 00:28:48,169 --> 00:28:51,445 You were making out during Schindler's List? 590 00:28:51,609 --> 00:28:53,008 I couldn't help it. 591 00:28:53,169 --> 00:28:55,888 We hadn't been alone in a long time. It got the better of me. 592 00:28:56,049 --> 00:28:59,246 - During Schindler's List? - We're both living with our parents. 593 00:28:59,409 --> 00:29:01,001 Did anybody see you or say anything? 594 00:29:01,169 --> 00:29:04,081 Oh, I don't think so. I saw Newman, but he didn't see me. 595 00:29:12,529 --> 00:29:14,599 Hello, Mrs. Seinfeld. 596 00:29:15,129 --> 00:29:17,723 Hello, Newman. 597 00:29:19,569 --> 00:29:20,968 Jerry's not here. 598 00:29:22,609 --> 00:29:24,520 Having a nice trip? 599 00:29:25,129 --> 00:29:27,882 Wonderful. We went to the theatre last night. 600 00:29:28,049 --> 00:29:29,721 Oh, the theatre. 601 00:29:29,929 --> 00:29:32,523 - Because I was wondering- - Wondering what? 602 00:29:32,689 --> 00:29:34,998 Why I didn't see you at Schindler's List with Jerry. 603 00:29:35,169 --> 00:29:36,363 Well, we already saw it. 604 00:29:36,529 --> 00:29:39,965 Oh, well, it's a good thing for Jerry that you didn't go. 605 00:29:40,249 --> 00:29:43,161 - Why is that? - Well, he really seemed to have... 606 00:29:43,329 --> 00:29:45,399 ...his hands full, if you know what I mean? 607 00:29:45,609 --> 00:29:47,008 I'm afraid I don't. 608 00:29:47,169 --> 00:29:49,000 Him and his buxom little friend, Rachel... 609 00:29:49,169 --> 00:29:51,205 ...were going at it pretty good in the balcony. 610 00:29:51,369 --> 00:29:53,280 - What? - Do I have to spell it out for you? 611 00:29:53,449 --> 00:29:56,919 He was moving on her like the storm troopers into Poland. 612 00:29:57,409 --> 00:29:59,969 Jerry was necking during Schindler's List? 613 00:30:00,129 --> 00:30:01,323 Yes. 614 00:30:01,489 --> 00:30:04,640 And a more offensive spectacle I cannot recall. 615 00:30:05,249 --> 00:30:08,241 Anyway, I just really came up to get some detergent. 616 00:30:08,409 --> 00:30:11,207 - Jerry sends his laundry out. - Oh, right. 617 00:30:11,369 --> 00:30:14,600 Well, it was nice seeing you folks. Oh, by the way... 618 00:30:14,769 --> 00:30:17,920 ...you didn't hear this from me. Ta-ta. 619 00:30:23,609 --> 00:30:24,962 Hi. 620 00:30:32,129 --> 00:30:35,166 - What? What did I do? - How could you? 621 00:30:35,329 --> 00:30:37,479 - How could I what? - You were making out... 622 00:30:37,649 --> 00:30:39,401 ...during Schindler's List? 623 00:30:39,769 --> 00:30:41,043 What? 624 00:30:41,209 --> 00:30:43,564 - No. - Don't lie, Jerry. 625 00:30:44,809 --> 00:30:46,288 Newman. 626 00:30:48,209 --> 00:30:51,406 - How could you do such a thing? - I couldn't help it. 627 00:30:51,569 --> 00:30:54,083 We hadn't been alone together in a long time. 628 00:30:54,249 --> 00:30:56,558 We started up a little during the coming attractions... 629 00:30:56,729 --> 00:30:59,846 ...and the next thing we knew the war was over. 630 00:31:04,489 --> 00:31:06,445 - Hello. - Jerry. 631 00:31:06,729 --> 00:31:09,448 - It's Jack Klompus. - Hang on a second. 632 00:31:09,649 --> 00:31:11,605 Dad, it's Klompus. 633 00:31:11,809 --> 00:31:13,640 - Hello. - Helo, Morty? 634 00:31:13,929 --> 00:31:16,762 Listen. That key doesn't work. 635 00:31:16,929 --> 00:31:19,397 - It's no good. - You didn't get in? 636 00:31:19,569 --> 00:31:22,800 Oh, I got in. I had to break the window with a rock. 637 00:31:22,969 --> 00:31:26,120 And then I got my hand all cut up reaching in. 638 00:31:26,289 --> 00:31:29,326 - You broke the window? - He broke the window? 639 00:31:29,489 --> 00:31:31,480 You wanted those damn boxes, didn't you? 640 00:31:31,649 --> 00:31:34,766 He should be on his hands and knees thanking you. 641 00:31:34,929 --> 00:31:36,328 - Did you send them? - Yeah. 642 00:31:36,489 --> 00:31:39,561 They'll be there tomorrow afternoon, 2:00. 643 00:31:39,729 --> 00:31:41,162 Tomorrow afternoon? 644 00:31:41,329 --> 00:31:43,638 - Tomorrow afternoon? - Tomorrow afternoon? 645 00:31:43,809 --> 00:31:45,561 I told you to send them express. 646 00:31:45,729 --> 00:31:49,005 It was $10 cheaper in the afternoon than the morning. 647 00:31:49,169 --> 00:31:50,921 I figured, what the hell's the difference? 648 00:31:51,089 --> 00:31:54,445 - What did you do about the window? - I gotta fix your window now? 649 00:31:54,609 --> 00:31:56,201 All right, all right. Goodbye. 650 00:31:57,969 --> 00:31:59,561 I don't think we'll make that flight. 651 00:31:59,729 --> 00:32:01,321 What do you mean you won't make it? 652 00:32:01,489 --> 00:32:03,844 We have to make the flight. We're with a charter group. 653 00:32:04,009 --> 00:32:05,237 If we don't, the trip is off. 654 00:32:05,409 --> 00:32:07,525 What's the difference? We'll go someplace else. 655 00:32:07,689 --> 00:32:09,486 Someplace else? What about Paris? 656 00:32:09,649 --> 00:32:12,846 You don't understand. I've come this far. I can't stop now. 657 00:32:13,009 --> 00:32:16,638 I can't believe that you're doing all this just to sell some stupid raincoats. 658 00:32:16,809 --> 00:32:18,128 You don't understand. 659 00:32:18,289 --> 00:32:20,598 Fashion is cyclical. This thing could come back. 660 00:32:20,769 --> 00:32:22,361 I think you're out of your mind. 661 00:32:23,369 --> 00:32:28,045 I just don't understand how all those clothes can disappear. 662 00:32:28,209 --> 00:32:31,440 - Moths? - Moths ate three boxes? 663 00:32:31,609 --> 00:32:33,804 Well, you know what happens when larvae hatch. 664 00:32:33,969 --> 00:32:35,402 They're everywhere. 665 00:32:35,689 --> 00:32:38,283 You know, I was thinking today. 666 00:32:38,489 --> 00:32:41,049 I never liked those Seinfelds anyway. 667 00:32:41,209 --> 00:32:42,927 He's an idiot altogether. 668 00:32:43,889 --> 00:32:45,959 - Oh, there's Kramer. - Hello! 669 00:32:46,129 --> 00:32:47,801 Hello! 670 00:32:49,089 --> 00:32:50,408 Hey. 671 00:32:51,929 --> 00:32:54,762 - Good evening. - Hope you're hungry. 672 00:32:54,929 --> 00:32:56,078 Paella. 673 00:32:56,249 --> 00:32:58,604 - Here, let me take your coat. - Oh, yeah. Thanks, buddy. 674 00:32:59,169 --> 00:33:00,966 - Hey. - That shirt. 675 00:33:01,129 --> 00:33:02,721 - Where did you get that shirt? - What? 676 00:33:02,889 --> 00:33:04,208 That's my cabana shirt. 677 00:33:04,369 --> 00:33:06,280 You stole my shirt, you son of a bitch! 678 00:33:06,449 --> 00:33:09,088 George, your friends up in the attic, stealing my clothes! 679 00:33:09,249 --> 00:33:11,888 Give me that back. Give me that. Give me. 680 00:33:13,449 --> 00:33:14,928 I bought it from Rudy. 681 00:33:15,089 --> 00:33:17,284 Rudy! That skunk! 682 00:33:17,449 --> 00:33:19,758 - I knew he didn't burn those clothes! - Who's Rudy? 683 00:33:19,929 --> 00:33:22,124 - What clothes? - I sold your clothes yesterday. 684 00:33:22,289 --> 00:33:23,483 You sold my clothes? 685 00:33:23,649 --> 00:33:25,685 What do you mean, you sold my clothes? 686 00:33:25,849 --> 00:33:29,398 - I didn't think you wore them anymore. - It's cruise-wear! 687 00:33:30,129 --> 00:33:31,403 Kramer. 688 00:33:31,649 --> 00:33:33,765 - I love that shirt. - Oh, yeah. 689 00:33:33,929 --> 00:33:35,726 That's because it's mine! 690 00:33:35,889 --> 00:33:37,800 You look just like Frank... 691 00:33:37,969 --> 00:33:40,244 ...on our honeymoon. 692 00:33:40,449 --> 00:33:42,121 Well, thank you. 693 00:33:42,289 --> 00:33:43,927 - Who's this Rudy? - Rudy's the guy... 694 00:33:44,089 --> 00:33:45,408 ...buying Morty's raincoats. 695 00:33:45,569 --> 00:33:47,366 Morty Seinfeld? He's a bum. 696 00:33:47,529 --> 00:33:49,804 The whole deal's going down tomorrow. 697 00:33:49,969 --> 00:33:52,529 - Morty's gonna miss his plane for it. - Missing his plane? 698 00:33:52,689 --> 00:33:54,725 - Wasn't that a charter flight? - Yeah. 699 00:33:54,889 --> 00:33:57,608 What happens to charter tickets when you don't use them? 700 00:33:57,769 --> 00:33:59,521 Well, I suppose they're wasted. 701 00:33:59,729 --> 00:34:01,765 Yes, I suppose they are. 702 00:34:01,969 --> 00:34:04,722 Tomorrow I'm going straight down to this Rudy and get my clothes. 703 00:34:04,889 --> 00:34:06,447 - A mouse! - Egad! A mouse! 704 00:34:06,609 --> 00:34:08,804 In the bedroom! 705 00:34:19,369 --> 00:34:21,041 - You want the tickets? - Yes. 706 00:34:21,209 --> 00:34:23,086 You're gonna take this kid to Paris? 707 00:34:23,249 --> 00:34:26,480 I get a free trip to Paris. I go in the Big Brothers' Hall of Fame. 708 00:34:26,649 --> 00:34:27,843 I mail my own postcards. 709 00:34:28,009 --> 00:34:31,968 - You know I'm paying for these tickets. - It's all right. I got lunch. 710 00:34:35,889 --> 00:34:38,528 You should've gone to the Costanzas' for dinner. 711 00:34:38,969 --> 00:34:40,766 The paella was magnificent. 712 00:34:41,009 --> 00:34:43,523 Have you ever had really good paella? 713 00:34:43,689 --> 00:34:46,408 - Not really. - It's an orgiastic feast for the senses... 714 00:34:46,569 --> 00:34:50,278 ...a wanton festival of sights, sounds and colours and... 715 00:34:52,329 --> 00:34:54,126 Dad, you sure we're at the right carousel? 716 00:34:54,289 --> 00:34:56,200 - This is it. - So how much are we gonna make? 717 00:34:56,369 --> 00:34:59,088 Take it easy. I've been through a million of these negotiations. 718 00:34:59,249 --> 00:35:00,523 Two thousand? Three thousand? 719 00:35:00,689 --> 00:35:02,884 That's giving it away. This is a one-of-a-kind item. 720 00:35:03,049 --> 00:35:06,359 - More? More than 3000? - Just watch me do my thing. 721 00:35:07,409 --> 00:35:10,367 - Say, Dad, isn't that one of yours? - Look at this. 722 00:35:10,569 --> 00:35:12,127 Look how this idiot packed it. 723 00:35:12,329 --> 00:35:14,240 He didn't tape it. He just flipped the flaps. 724 00:35:14,409 --> 00:35:15,967 Wait. Hold it. 725 00:35:16,849 --> 00:35:18,202 Kramer, you missed a couple. 726 00:35:18,369 --> 00:35:21,566 Bonjour, welcome to the Gateway to Paris charter flight. 727 00:35:21,729 --> 00:35:23,242 Dad, isn't that your charter group? 728 00:35:24,049 --> 00:35:26,085 Honesty. Hard work. 729 00:35:26,329 --> 00:35:28,604 These are the values that I was raised with. 730 00:35:28,809 --> 00:35:30,242 The most important thing, Joey... 731 00:35:30,409 --> 00:35:33,162 ...is to be able to look yourself in the mirror before you sleep. 732 00:35:33,329 --> 00:35:35,081 Hey, I got news for you, four-eyes... 733 00:35:35,249 --> 00:35:37,968 ...there's no way you're staying with us in Paris. 734 00:35:42,809 --> 00:35:45,277 You burned them? Those clothes are not yours to burn. 735 00:35:45,449 --> 00:35:47,087 - Who are you, anyways? - I'm the father. 736 00:35:47,249 --> 00:35:49,717 - He said his father was dead. - He said I was dead? 737 00:35:49,889 --> 00:35:52,767 That's right. Squeezed an extra $25 out of me. 738 00:35:53,049 --> 00:35:55,404 That's what my life is worth to him, $25? 739 00:35:55,569 --> 00:35:57,560 - Hey, Frank! - Oh, hey. 740 00:35:57,729 --> 00:36:00,527 I want you to know that I'm retracting our dinner invitation. 741 00:36:00,689 --> 00:36:02,520 You don't have to retract it. We never went. 742 00:36:02,689 --> 00:36:04,839 I'm retracting that it was ever offered. 743 00:36:05,009 --> 00:36:06,681 I retract your retraction. 744 00:36:06,849 --> 00:36:09,044 What are you, trying to unload some junk of yours? 745 00:36:09,209 --> 00:36:11,723 Will you excuse me, please? We're conducting business here. 746 00:36:11,969 --> 00:36:13,288 Keep them. I'm not interested. 747 00:36:13,449 --> 00:36:16,043 - I thought we had a deal? - That's another one of my shirts! 748 00:36:16,209 --> 00:36:18,279 Not buying clothes from anyone off the street. 749 00:36:18,449 --> 00:36:20,644 The street? I'm in the raincoat business 35 years. 750 00:36:20,809 --> 00:36:24,085 - Maybe they have moths, like his stuff. - My clothes don't have moths! 751 00:36:24,249 --> 00:36:26,717 Because of his moths, you're not buying my raincoats? 752 00:36:26,889 --> 00:36:30,199 - That's right. - I'm all ticklish. 753 00:36:34,609 --> 00:36:38,921 Flight 433 now boarding for Miami at gate 18-A. 754 00:36:39,089 --> 00:36:42,604 - Flight 433 now boarding. - Okay. Let's go. 755 00:36:42,809 --> 00:36:45,607 It was so nice of you to come to the airport to see us off. 756 00:36:45,849 --> 00:36:47,726 Are you sure you can't stay a little longer? 757 00:36:47,889 --> 00:36:49,607 - No! - No! 758 00:36:49,769 --> 00:36:50,918 - Goodbye. - Bye-bye. 759 00:36:51,089 --> 00:36:52,522 - Take care. - Okay, Jer. 760 00:36:52,689 --> 00:36:54,725 - Bye-bye, Elaine. - Bye-bye. 761 00:36:56,449 --> 00:36:58,440 We'll call you when we get home. 762 00:36:59,009 --> 00:37:00,237 Thank you. 763 00:37:00,409 --> 00:37:01,967 I think she meant me, but... 764 00:37:02,329 --> 00:37:05,002 Make sure Kramer uses good tape to send back the raincoats. 765 00:37:05,169 --> 00:37:06,921 - Okay. - Bye. 766 00:37:07,089 --> 00:37:09,319 - Bye. - Aaron? 767 00:37:09,969 --> 00:37:11,322 Aaron, are you okay? 768 00:37:11,489 --> 00:37:13,047 I could've done more. 769 00:37:13,249 --> 00:37:15,001 I could've done so much more. 770 00:37:15,769 --> 00:37:18,124 - You did enough. - No. 771 00:37:18,329 --> 00:37:20,081 I could've called the travel agency... 772 00:37:20,249 --> 00:37:22,001 ...got them on another flight to Paris. 773 00:37:22,169 --> 00:37:24,285 - I could've got them out! - You tried, Aaron. 774 00:37:24,449 --> 00:37:27,202 - It was too expensive. - This watch. 775 00:37:27,929 --> 00:37:30,443 This watch could've paid for their whole trip. 776 00:37:30,649 --> 00:37:32,367 This ring. 777 00:37:32,569 --> 00:37:35,959 This ring is one more dinner I could've taken them out to. 778 00:37:37,329 --> 00:37:38,762 Water. 779 00:37:39,009 --> 00:37:41,159 - They need some water. - Why? 780 00:37:41,369 --> 00:37:43,087 They'll get dehydrated on the plane! 781 00:37:43,249 --> 00:37:44,523 Get the Seinfelds some water! 782 00:37:44,889 --> 00:37:46,163 Please! 783 00:37:46,449 --> 00:37:47,928 Please! 784 00:37:55,529 --> 00:37:57,167 Hi, Mr. Goldstein. Is Rachel home? 785 00:37:57,329 --> 00:37:59,638 I'm afraid Rachel is not going to see you tonight... 786 00:37:59,809 --> 00:38:01,447 ...or any other night for that matter. 787 00:38:01,609 --> 00:38:03,406 - Why? What did I do? - You know very well. 788 00:38:03,569 --> 00:38:06,129 I heard about your behaviour at the movies the other night. 789 00:38:06,289 --> 00:38:08,678 It was disgraceful. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. 790 00:38:08,929 --> 00:38:11,079 I will not allow my daughter to be involved... 791 00:38:11,249 --> 00:38:13,683 ...with someone of such weak moral fibre. 792 00:38:13,889 --> 00:38:16,847 Fortunately, my postman happened to witness the entire incident. 793 00:38:17,009 --> 00:38:19,398 A heavyset fellow. I believe he lives in your building. 794 00:38:19,569 --> 00:38:21,639 - Now, if you don't mind... - Rachel. 795 00:38:21,889 --> 00:38:23,368 - Rachel. - Good night. 796 00:38:25,009 --> 00:38:27,079 So my parents get home, they open the door... 797 00:38:27,249 --> 00:38:30,286 ...my father flicks the light on, and the whole place is cleaned out. 798 00:38:30,449 --> 00:38:32,440 - Everything. - Get out. 799 00:38:32,649 --> 00:38:34,605 - How did that happen? - The broken window. 800 00:38:34,769 --> 00:38:37,408 Klompus never fixed it. They just walked right in. 801 00:38:37,609 --> 00:38:39,565 Boy, they could use a vacation. 802 00:38:39,729 --> 00:38:43,199 They're taking one. The travel agent's trying to set something up for them. 803 00:38:43,369 --> 00:38:44,597 So how about that Aaron? 804 00:38:45,729 --> 00:38:47,401 You know what drove me crazy about him? 805 00:38:47,569 --> 00:38:50,606 Did you ever notice he stood too close to you when he talked? 806 00:38:51,009 --> 00:38:52,806 No, I hadn't noticed. 807 00:38:54,769 --> 00:38:56,407 Pair of bear claws, please. 808 00:38:58,529 --> 00:39:01,726 - Hi, Newman. - Hello, Jerry. 809 00:39:01,889 --> 00:39:05,165 I happened to catch you coming out of Schindler's List the other night. 810 00:39:05,329 --> 00:39:07,240 Oh, were you there? 811 00:39:07,529 --> 00:39:09,326 Yes, I was. 812 00:39:09,529 --> 00:39:11,838 - It's a powerful film. - Yeah. 813 00:39:12,009 --> 00:39:14,523 - Shocking brutality, don't you think? - Shocking. 814 00:39:14,689 --> 00:39:17,249 - Yeah, well, that was nothing. - Jerry! Jerry! 815 00:39:20,849 --> 00:39:22,441 Where the hell is your father? 816 00:39:28,889 --> 00:39:30,766 This is the best thing we ever did. 817 00:39:30,929 --> 00:39:33,079 I hope those exterminators know what they're doing. 818 00:39:33,249 --> 00:39:36,525 Forget about them. Let's just try and relax. 819 00:39:37,089 --> 00:39:39,080 Personal distance is a very important thing. 820 00:39:39,249 --> 00:39:41,319 There's a new personal distance, ATM distance. 821 00:39:41,489 --> 00:39:44,879 When someone's using an ATM, you wanna be about 6 feet back. 822 00:39:45,049 --> 00:39:47,882 Don't you? Because people get edgy around that ATM, don't they? 823 00:39:48,049 --> 00:39:51,086 They got their money out, their eyes are darting all around. 824 00:39:51,289 --> 00:39:54,281 The other place I wanna be 6 feet away is a urinal. 825 00:39:54,489 --> 00:39:56,480 You want some distance there too. 826 00:39:56,689 --> 00:39:59,408 ATMs and urinals. I guess whenever someone's taking valuables... 827 00:39:59,569 --> 00:40:02,766 ...out of their pants, you wanna give them as much room as possible. 828 00:40:53,209 --> 00:40:55,200 Subtitles by SDl Media Group