1 00:00:02,369 --> 00:00:03,848 The thing about birthday parties... 2 00:00:05,369 --> 00:00:08,122 ...is that the first and last party you have are quite similar. 3 00:00:08,289 --> 00:00:09,768 You just kind of sit there. 4 00:00:09,929 --> 00:00:12,727 You're the least excited person at the party. 5 00:00:12,889 --> 00:00:15,483 You don't even realize that there is a party. 6 00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:17,128 You don't know what's going on. 7 00:00:17,529 --> 00:00:19,884 Both birthday parties, people have to help you... 8 00:00:20,049 --> 00:00:22,927 ...blow out the candles. You don't even know why you're doing it. 9 00:00:23,089 --> 00:00:25,364 What is this ritual? What is going on? 10 00:00:26,009 --> 00:00:29,285 It's also the only two birthday parties where other people have to gather... 11 00:00:29,449 --> 00:00:31,724 ...your friends together for you. 12 00:00:32,249 --> 00:00:34,763 Sometimes they're not your friends. They make the judgment. 13 00:00:34,929 --> 00:00:39,161 They bring them in, and they tell you, "These are your friends. 14 00:00:39,529 --> 00:00:42,327 Tell them, 'Thank you for coming to my birthday party."' 15 00:00:45,809 --> 00:00:48,118 These are great. Just great. 16 00:00:48,289 --> 00:00:52,202 Really great. Really, really great. Don't you think so, Elaine? 17 00:00:53,169 --> 00:00:54,761 Yeah. Really great. 18 00:00:55,569 --> 00:00:57,924 A coffee table book about coffee tables. 19 00:00:58,089 --> 00:01:00,239 How did you come up with this idea? 20 00:01:00,489 --> 00:01:01,968 It was there. 21 00:01:02,369 --> 00:01:04,883 Look at this one. It's saying, "I'm a coffee table. 22 00:01:05,049 --> 00:01:08,359 Put some coffee on me. The hotter the better. That's what I'm here for." 23 00:01:08,729 --> 00:01:11,562 You know, actually, I've got some work I've got to do. 24 00:01:11,809 --> 00:01:14,562 How about if the book came with these little foldout legs... 25 00:01:14,729 --> 00:01:17,402 ...so the book itself becomes a coffee table? 26 00:01:17,569 --> 00:01:19,161 That is a great idea. 27 00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:20,842 Really, really great. 28 00:01:23,369 --> 00:01:27,408 And that coffee table is saying, "Put some coffee on me." 29 00:01:27,809 --> 00:01:30,687 I'd like to put some coffee on her. Hot, scalding coffee... 30 00:01:30,849 --> 00:01:34,000 ...right in her face. I swear, this is like working with a contestant... 31 00:01:34,169 --> 00:01:36,478 ...from The Price Is Right. 32 00:01:38,809 --> 00:01:40,162 Yeah, that's real interesting. 33 00:01:40,329 --> 00:01:42,638 Listen, tell me if you think this is funny. 34 00:01:43,249 --> 00:01:46,047 "Men definitely hit the remote more than women. 35 00:01:46,209 --> 00:01:50,999 Men don't care what's on TV. Men only care what else is on TV. 36 00:01:51,329 --> 00:01:54,002 Women wanna see what the show is before they change the channel... 37 00:01:54,169 --> 00:01:55,807 ...because men hunt and women nest." 38 00:01:55,969 --> 00:01:57,641 Yeah, it's funny. I don't know. 39 00:01:58,929 --> 00:02:00,840 You don't know? Come on, that's gold. 40 00:02:01,009 --> 00:02:04,843 - Well, I don't know about gold. - Oh, that's gold, baby. 41 00:02:05,569 --> 00:02:09,642 - "Baby"? Are you doing George now? - I was saying "baby"before George. 42 00:02:10,009 --> 00:02:11,806 Don't ask me any more questions... 43 00:02:11,969 --> 00:02:14,199 ...about jokes. It puts pressure on me. 44 00:02:14,369 --> 00:02:16,041 Leonard Christian's gonna be there. 45 00:02:16,209 --> 00:02:17,358 Yeah? Who's he? 46 00:02:17,529 --> 00:02:20,839 A writer from Entertainment Weekly. I would like to have a good show. 47 00:02:21,569 --> 00:02:24,367 - Dank e schön, my little dumplings. - Hi. 48 00:02:24,529 --> 00:02:26,679 - Hey, how about that Toby? - Yeah, how about her? 49 00:02:27,089 --> 00:02:30,081 She's a package full of energy. 50 00:02:30,569 --> 00:02:33,402 - She's a package full of something. - And that something is life. 51 00:02:33,689 --> 00:02:36,647 You got to meet her. She's brimming with positivity. 52 00:02:36,809 --> 00:02:39,642 - Oh, please. - Hey. 53 00:02:39,809 --> 00:02:41,561 - Are you performing tomorrow? - Yeah. 54 00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:43,003 Great. I'm gonna bring Toby. 55 00:02:43,169 --> 00:02:44,761 You better laugh. I'm being reviewed. 56 00:02:44,929 --> 00:02:47,489 - Leonard Christian's gonna be there. - She's a great laugher. 57 00:02:47,649 --> 00:02:50,288 Yeah. She's a great laugher, Jerry. 58 00:02:50,449 --> 00:02:53,122 "Really, really great." 59 00:02:53,609 --> 00:02:55,725 Want to sit with George? He's coming with Robin. 60 00:02:55,889 --> 00:02:58,244 - Is that the waitress from the club? - Yeah. 61 00:02:58,409 --> 00:03:01,242 - Is she bringing her kid too? - She's got a kid? 62 00:03:01,409 --> 00:03:04,048 You should see George get along with this kid. 63 00:03:05,529 --> 00:03:07,599 What are you doing under there? Stop that. 64 00:03:07,769 --> 00:03:09,407 Don't eat that. That's not food. 65 00:03:09,569 --> 00:03:13,164 - He's sucking down Equal packets. - Do you think 25 kids is too much? 66 00:03:13,329 --> 00:03:15,889 Twenty-five kids for his birthday party? 67 00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:19,963 Don't put your tongue on the floor. He's putting his tongue on the floor. 68 00:03:20,129 --> 00:03:22,927 Here, here. Have some more sugar packets. 69 00:03:23,129 --> 00:03:24,687 So, what about entertainment? 70 00:03:24,889 --> 00:03:27,164 - Should I get Barney? - No Barney. 71 00:03:27,729 --> 00:03:29,799 - Maybe a clown. - How about Bozo? 72 00:03:29,969 --> 00:03:31,687 Who's Bozo? 73 00:03:31,889 --> 00:03:35,086 Who's Bozo? Bozo the Clown. That's who Bozo is. 74 00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:38,047 When I was a kid, Bozo the Clown was the clown, bar none. 75 00:03:38,249 --> 00:03:39,967 - George. - With the orange hair... 76 00:03:40,129 --> 00:03:42,518 - ... the big clown shirt with the ruffles. - George. 77 00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:45,283 - A TV show, he had cartoons. - George! 78 00:03:45,449 --> 00:03:48,122 Forget Bozo, George. Bozo's out. 79 00:03:48,289 --> 00:03:51,087 He's finished. It's over for Bozo. 80 00:03:51,529 --> 00:03:54,168 When I was a kid, we didn't have these parties... 81 00:03:54,329 --> 00:03:56,524 ...with catered food and entertainment. 82 00:03:56,769 --> 00:03:58,441 I remember my seventh birthday party. 83 00:03:58,609 --> 00:04:00,486 Blow out the candles! Blow out the candles! 84 00:04:00,649 --> 00:04:02,401 I said blow out the damn candles! 85 00:04:02,569 --> 00:04:06,448 - Stop it, Frank! You're killing him! - Blow out the candles! 86 00:04:07,929 --> 00:04:10,921 Well, this time, you can blow out the candles. 87 00:04:11,129 --> 00:04:14,360 No, I have asthma. Ben. Ben! 88 00:04:17,489 --> 00:04:19,081 Hi. 89 00:04:19,489 --> 00:04:21,719 - Hi, Toby. - How are you doing today? 90 00:04:22,409 --> 00:04:24,206 Fine. 91 00:04:28,089 --> 00:04:30,922 - How are you? - Oh, I'm great. Just great. 92 00:04:31,089 --> 00:04:32,283 Really great. 93 00:04:33,849 --> 00:04:36,841 - Hey, did you hear about Bob Rosen? - No. 94 00:04:37,009 --> 00:04:39,807 He's going to Knopf. He's going to be a vice president. 95 00:04:39,969 --> 00:04:41,163 Knopf? Really? 96 00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:44,561 Boy, that means there's an opening here for... 97 00:04:44,809 --> 00:04:48,006 ...senior editor. Has Lippman hired anyone? 98 00:04:48,169 --> 00:04:50,763 No. I hear he wants to promote someone in-house. 99 00:04:51,729 --> 00:04:54,448 - Really? - Maybe it'll be you. 100 00:04:55,809 --> 00:04:57,720 - Well- - You really deserve it. 101 00:04:58,609 --> 00:05:00,486 - Well- - I mean, you have experience... 102 00:05:00,649 --> 00:05:03,482 ...seniority, Lippman really respects your opinion. 103 00:05:04,529 --> 00:05:06,008 Well... 104 00:05:08,049 --> 00:05:09,926 - Hey, it could be you. - No. 105 00:05:10,449 --> 00:05:12,838 - No, really. - Really? You think so? 106 00:05:13,209 --> 00:05:16,281 - Sure. - Boy, wouldn't that be exciting? 107 00:05:16,889 --> 00:05:21,758 - Stranger things have happened. - Me, a senior editor. I'd like that. 108 00:05:21,969 --> 00:05:23,800 You shouldn't get your hopes up. 109 00:05:24,369 --> 00:05:26,929 Well, it's a possibility. Like you said... 110 00:05:27,089 --> 00:05:31,162 ...stranger things have happened. Thank you, Elaine. Thank you. 111 00:05:36,609 --> 00:05:38,122 - Hey, Ronnie. - Hey. 112 00:05:38,289 --> 00:05:39,961 Can I have a club soda? 113 00:05:40,129 --> 00:05:41,323 - Going on tonight? - Yeah. 114 00:05:41,489 --> 00:05:42,638 - You? - Yeah. 115 00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:44,800 - You know, Leonard Christian's here. - I know. 116 00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:48,644 Can I ask you something? Are my nostrils getting bigger? 117 00:05:50,289 --> 00:05:52,678 - I don't think so. - Are you sure? 118 00:05:52,849 --> 00:05:54,601 Take a look. Do they seem a little bigger? 119 00:05:54,769 --> 00:05:56,168 I don't know. I don't know. 120 00:05:56,329 --> 00:05:58,559 Is it possible for nostrils to expand? 121 00:05:58,769 --> 00:06:01,158 - Is this a bit? - Hey, I don't do bits. 122 00:06:01,329 --> 00:06:03,240 I'm a prop comic. 123 00:06:03,409 --> 00:06:06,924 Damn it. I can't find my water gun. I can't go on without my water gun. 124 00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:08,762 - Hey, Jerry. - Hey. 125 00:06:08,929 --> 00:06:12,319 - Well, here's Toby. Jerry. - This is so exciting. 126 00:06:12,529 --> 00:06:15,089 Look. I have goose bumps. Touch. 127 00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:16,602 Touch them. 128 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:19,887 - Hey. - I've never been... 129 00:06:20,049 --> 00:06:22,563 - ... to a comedy club before. - Really? 130 00:06:22,729 --> 00:06:25,323 Many restaurants are serving brewed decaf now too. 131 00:06:27,009 --> 00:06:30,365 - You are so funny. - You'll have a good time, I swear. 132 00:06:30,929 --> 00:06:34,478 He swears, like he thinks I don't believe him. I believe you. 133 00:06:34,649 --> 00:06:36,480 - He's so funny. - What about me? 134 00:06:36,649 --> 00:06:38,128 What about you? 135 00:06:39,129 --> 00:06:41,438 I'm only kidding. You're funny too. 136 00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:42,758 I love to laugh. 137 00:06:42,929 --> 00:06:44,760 - Good. - So you up next? 138 00:06:44,929 --> 00:06:46,760 Yeah. Why don't you guys get a good table. 139 00:06:46,929 --> 00:06:48,999 We don't want some jerk sitting in front of us. 140 00:06:49,169 --> 00:06:51,205 It'll be like, "Hey, big-head, can you move? 141 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:54,202 I didn't pay a cover charge to stare at your bald spot." 142 00:06:55,569 --> 00:06:57,161 - So you have a good show. - Yeah. 143 00:06:57,329 --> 00:07:00,446 Have a great show. Hey, we'll make sure it's a great show. 144 00:07:00,609 --> 00:07:02,679 - Okay. Good. I'll see you later. - Yeah. 145 00:07:03,369 --> 00:07:07,681 He's so great. This is so great. I'm so excited. 146 00:07:09,089 --> 00:07:11,683 Men definitely hit the remote button more than women. 147 00:07:11,849 --> 00:07:15,637 - Really, really. That is so true. - Yes, I- Yeah. 148 00:07:15,809 --> 00:07:18,039 Men don't care what's on TV. 149 00:07:18,209 --> 00:07:20,439 Men only care what else is on TV. 150 00:07:21,169 --> 00:07:23,558 Yes. Right on, right on. 151 00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:26,203 See, women- 152 00:07:26,369 --> 00:07:29,805 Women wanna see what the show is before they change the channel. 153 00:07:30,009 --> 00:07:32,807 That is so true. Yes, yes. 154 00:07:33,489 --> 00:07:35,878 That's why men hunt and women nest. 155 00:07:42,049 --> 00:07:44,005 Yeah, anyway- Yeah, all right. 156 00:07:44,169 --> 00:07:47,081 So anyway... What was I talking about? 157 00:07:51,489 --> 00:07:53,559 - Hey. - Hey. What's the deal? 158 00:07:53,729 --> 00:07:56,482 I invite you down here, I have an important show... 159 00:07:56,649 --> 00:07:59,038 - ... and she heckles me? - She didn't mean anything. 160 00:07:59,249 --> 00:08:02,958 - What's the matter? Is she crazy? - She's just enthusiastic, that's all. 161 00:08:03,129 --> 00:08:05,802 - Hey, what is wrong with you? - Me? 162 00:08:06,129 --> 00:08:08,689 - Nothing's wrong with me. - You boo me? 163 00:08:08,849 --> 00:08:12,205 You hiss? You didn't stop blathering throughout the whole set. 164 00:08:12,369 --> 00:08:15,406 Come on. I thought you're a pro. That's part of the show. 165 00:08:15,569 --> 00:08:17,799 No. Not part of the show. 166 00:08:17,969 --> 00:08:20,039 Booing and hissing are not part of the show. 167 00:08:20,209 --> 00:08:23,565 You boo puppets. You hiss villains in silent movies. 168 00:08:23,969 --> 00:08:25,800 That's the way I express myself. 169 00:08:25,969 --> 00:08:28,005 How will you make it if you can't take it? 170 00:08:28,529 --> 00:08:31,089 - I can take it. - Let's go. 171 00:08:31,569 --> 00:08:33,844 Hey, man, good set. 172 00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:42,447 - Bozo? - No. 173 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,839 - B-O-Z-O. - Sorry. I- 174 00:08:46,129 --> 00:08:47,881 You've never heard of Bozo the Clown? 175 00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:49,323 No. 176 00:08:49,489 --> 00:08:52,799 - How could you not know? - I don't know. I just don't. 177 00:08:53,089 --> 00:08:56,320 How can you call yourself a clown and not know who Bozo is? 178 00:08:56,489 --> 00:09:01,119 Hey, what are you hassling me for? This is just a gig. It's not my life. 179 00:09:01,409 --> 00:09:03,081 I don't know who Bozo is. Is he a clown? 180 00:09:03,249 --> 00:09:04,841 What, are you kidding me? 181 00:09:05,009 --> 00:09:06,920 - Well, what is he? - Yes, he's a clown. 182 00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:10,206 All right. So, what's the big deal? There's millions of clowns. 183 00:09:11,169 --> 00:09:13,967 - All right, just forget it. - Forget-? Me? You should forget it. 184 00:09:14,129 --> 00:09:17,201 You're living in the past, man. You're hung up on some clown... 185 00:09:17,369 --> 00:09:19,883 - ... from the '60s, man. - All right. 186 00:09:20,209 --> 00:09:23,485 Very good, very good. All right, go fold your balloon animals, Eric. 187 00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:26,886 Eric. What kind of name is that for a clown, huh? 188 00:09:27,049 --> 00:09:30,485 Excuse me. You must be George. 189 00:09:30,689 --> 00:09:34,045 I'm Robin's mother. You seem like... 190 00:09:34,209 --> 00:09:38,805 - ... such a lovely young man. - Well, I do what I can. 191 00:09:38,969 --> 00:09:40,527 Hi, Ma. How's everything? 192 00:09:40,689 --> 00:09:44,682 This is just a wonderful party. 193 00:09:45,009 --> 00:09:46,647 The burgers should be ready in a minute. 194 00:09:46,809 --> 00:09:48,481 Great, great. 195 00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:51,727 What's that smell? 196 00:09:52,369 --> 00:09:54,007 Smoke? 197 00:09:54,329 --> 00:09:55,762 Smoke. 198 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:59,524 Everybody, I think I smell some smoke back here. 199 00:10:00,049 --> 00:10:02,119 Fire! Get out of here! 200 00:10:02,289 --> 00:10:04,041 Get out of my way! 201 00:10:07,769 --> 00:10:10,681 - It was an inferno in there! - There he is. That's him! 202 00:10:11,249 --> 00:10:15,162 - That's the coward that left us to die. - Let go. 203 00:10:24,009 --> 00:10:26,921 I was trying to lead the way. 204 00:10:27,089 --> 00:10:31,207 We needed a leader, someone to lead the way to safety. 205 00:10:31,809 --> 00:10:34,369 But you yelled, "Get out of my way." 206 00:10:35,209 --> 00:10:36,562 Because... 207 00:10:36,729 --> 00:10:38,128 Because... 208 00:10:38,369 --> 00:10:40,883 ...as the leader, if I die... 209 00:10:41,129 --> 00:10:44,041 ...then all hope is lost. 210 00:10:44,289 --> 00:10:46,678 Who would lead? The clown? 211 00:10:48,169 --> 00:10:50,729 Instead of castigating me, you should be thanking me. 212 00:10:50,929 --> 00:10:54,126 What kind of topsy-turvy world do we live in where heroes... 213 00:10:54,289 --> 00:10:57,406 ...are cast as villains, brave men as cowards? 214 00:10:57,569 --> 00:10:59,878 But I saw you push the women and children... 215 00:11:00,049 --> 00:11:02,005 ...out of the way in a mad panic. 216 00:11:02,249 --> 00:11:04,763 I saw you knock them down. 217 00:11:04,929 --> 00:11:08,239 And when you ran out, you left everyone behind. 218 00:11:08,409 --> 00:11:11,924 Seemingly. Seemingly. To the untrained eye... 219 00:11:12,089 --> 00:11:14,683 ...I can fully understand how you got that impression. 220 00:11:15,849 --> 00:11:19,888 What looked like pushing, what looked like knocking down... 221 00:11:20,049 --> 00:11:22,722 ...was a safety precaution. In a fire... 222 00:11:22,889 --> 00:11:26,040 ...you stay close to the ground. Am I right? Well- 223 00:11:26,209 --> 00:11:30,805 And when I ran out that door, I was not leaving anyone behind. 224 00:11:31,009 --> 00:11:34,524 Quite the contrary. I risked my life... 225 00:11:34,689 --> 00:11:37,487 ...making sure that exit was clear. 226 00:11:39,369 --> 00:11:40,961 Any other questions? 227 00:11:41,649 --> 00:11:43,401 How do you live with yourself? 228 00:11:43,729 --> 00:11:45,128 It's not easy. 229 00:11:48,209 --> 00:11:50,564 So she doesn't want to see me anymore. 230 00:11:53,809 --> 00:11:57,006 Did you knock her over too or just the kids? 231 00:11:59,329 --> 00:12:01,126 No, her too. 232 00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:03,881 And her mother. 233 00:12:04,569 --> 00:12:06,127 - Really? Her mother? - Yeah. 234 00:12:06,849 --> 00:12:09,363 I may have stepped on her arm too. 235 00:12:10,449 --> 00:12:12,758 You probably couldn't see because of the smoke. 236 00:12:12,929 --> 00:12:14,123 Yeah. 237 00:12:14,289 --> 00:12:16,120 But it was somebody's arm. 238 00:12:16,929 --> 00:12:20,160 So you feel "women and children first" in this day and age... 239 00:12:20,329 --> 00:12:22,399 ...is somewhat of an antiquated notion. 240 00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:24,603 To some degree, yeah. 241 00:12:24,769 --> 00:12:29,126 So basically, it's every man, woman, child and invalid for themselves. 242 00:12:30,529 --> 00:12:32,440 - In a manner of speaking. - Yeah. 243 00:12:32,769 --> 00:12:34,202 - Well, it's honest. - Yeah. 244 00:12:34,369 --> 00:12:37,884 She should be commending me for treating everyone like equals. 245 00:12:38,929 --> 00:12:41,363 Perhaps when she's released from the burn centre... 246 00:12:41,529 --> 00:12:43,360 ...she'll see things differently. 247 00:12:45,689 --> 00:12:47,361 Perhaps. 248 00:12:48,409 --> 00:12:50,764 So, what was the fire, just some greasy hamburgers? 249 00:12:50,929 --> 00:12:55,366 Yeah. Eric the clown put it out with his big shoe. 250 00:13:00,209 --> 00:13:03,519 - By the way, did you see this? - What's that? 251 00:13:04,049 --> 00:13:06,438 The Leonard Christian article about my show. 252 00:13:06,609 --> 00:13:10,363 Plus my gig in Miami got cancelled. I bet you it's because of the article. 253 00:13:10,809 --> 00:13:14,006 He really does a number on you. "Seinfeld froze like a deer... 254 00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:17,559 ...in the headlights in the face of incessant heckling." 255 00:13:17,809 --> 00:13:20,528 I should've let her have it. I held back because of Kramer. 256 00:13:20,849 --> 00:13:22,123 Know what you should do? 257 00:13:22,289 --> 00:13:24,849 - Go to her office and heckle her. - Right. 258 00:13:25,009 --> 00:13:28,604 All the comedians say, "What if I came to your work and heckled you?" 259 00:13:28,769 --> 00:13:31,841 - Yeah, that'd be something. - I'm not kidding. You should do it. 260 00:13:32,689 --> 00:13:34,759 Wouldn't that be the ultimate comedian's revenge? 261 00:13:34,929 --> 00:13:38,285 - I've always had a fantasy about that. - Well, go ahead. Do it. 262 00:13:38,769 --> 00:13:40,521 - Why can't I? - No reason. 263 00:13:41,009 --> 00:13:43,648 You know what? I think I'm gonna do that. 264 00:13:43,809 --> 00:13:46,607 She came down to where I work. I'll go down to where she works. 265 00:13:47,049 --> 00:13:50,485 - This is unprecedented. - There's no precedent, baby. 266 00:13:52,609 --> 00:13:54,964 What, you're using my "babies"now? 267 00:13:59,049 --> 00:14:02,041 Hey, nice shoes. Do you wear sandals to work? 268 00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:05,007 It's nice to walk into a room and get the aroma of feet. 269 00:14:05,169 --> 00:14:06,966 Real conducive to the work atmosphere. 270 00:14:07,129 --> 00:14:08,528 I'm sure your coworkers like it. 271 00:14:08,689 --> 00:14:10,759 "Hey, let's go eat in Toby's office." 272 00:14:10,929 --> 00:14:13,887 "Great idea. We can check on her bunions." 273 00:14:14,129 --> 00:14:17,121 You know, I have work to do here. I'm very busy. 274 00:14:17,289 --> 00:14:21,760 Is this disruptive? You find it hard to work with someone interrupting? 275 00:14:22,009 --> 00:14:25,319 - How'd you like it if I called security? - Security? 276 00:14:25,489 --> 00:14:29,038 I don't know how you'll make it in this business if you can't take it. 277 00:14:29,249 --> 00:14:30,523 You got to be tough. 278 00:14:32,369 --> 00:14:35,088 You know- All right. That's it. 279 00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:37,638 - Get out of my way. - What's going on? 280 00:14:37,809 --> 00:14:39,447 What's happening here? Toby. 281 00:14:39,729 --> 00:14:41,321 Toby! 282 00:14:41,929 --> 00:14:44,841 - My pinkie toe. - Toby! 283 00:14:48,969 --> 00:14:51,119 What did you go out there to heckle her for? 284 00:14:51,329 --> 00:14:53,240 Because she came down the club and heckled me. 285 00:14:53,409 --> 00:14:55,047 I gave her a taste of her own medicine. 286 00:14:55,209 --> 00:14:58,918 Oh, yeah! You gave her a taste of medicine, all right. 287 00:14:59,089 --> 00:15:02,445 - I didn't want her to have an accident. - What accident? 288 00:15:02,609 --> 00:15:05,681 After he heckled Toby, she ran out of the building... 289 00:15:05,849 --> 00:15:07,999 ...and a street sweeper ran over her foot... 290 00:15:08,169 --> 00:15:09,966 ...and severed her pinkie toe. 291 00:15:10,529 --> 00:15:13,123 - That's unbelievable. - Yeah. Then after the ambulance left... 292 00:15:13,289 --> 00:15:15,120 ...I found the toe. 293 00:15:15,329 --> 00:15:19,242 I put it in a Cracker Jack box with ice and took off for the hospital. 294 00:15:19,409 --> 00:15:21,923 - You ran? - No. I jumped on the bus. 295 00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:24,523 I told the driver, "I got a toe here, buddy. Step on it." 296 00:15:25,849 --> 00:15:27,726 - Holy cow! - Yeah, yeah. 297 00:15:27,929 --> 00:15:31,478 Then all of a sudden, this guy pulls out a gun. 298 00:15:31,649 --> 00:15:34,288 Well, I knew any delay's gonna cost her her pinkie toe... 299 00:15:34,449 --> 00:15:37,327 ...so I got up, and I started walking towards him. 300 00:15:37,609 --> 00:15:40,203 He says, "Where do you think you're going, Cracker Jack?" 301 00:15:40,369 --> 00:15:43,008 I says, "Well, I got a prize for you, buddy." 302 00:15:45,969 --> 00:15:48,278 - Knocked him out cold. - How could you do that? 303 00:15:48,449 --> 00:15:51,407 Then everybody is screaming because the driver's passed out... 304 00:15:51,569 --> 00:15:55,005 ...because of all the commotion. The bus is out of control. 305 00:15:56,329 --> 00:15:58,797 So I grab him by the collar, take him out of the seat... 306 00:15:58,969 --> 00:16:01,642 ...get behind the wheel. Now I'm driving the bus. 307 00:16:03,449 --> 00:16:05,917 - You're Batman. - Yeah. I am Batman. 308 00:16:06,089 --> 00:16:08,967 Then the mugger, he comes to, and he starts choking me. 309 00:16:09,129 --> 00:16:10,926 So I'm fighting him off with one hand... 310 00:16:11,089 --> 00:16:13,683 ...and I kept driving the bus with the other, you know? 311 00:16:13,849 --> 00:16:16,568 Then I managed to open the door and kicked him out the door... 312 00:16:16,729 --> 00:16:18,765 ...with my foot, you know, at the next stop. 313 00:16:19,329 --> 00:16:21,718 You kept making all the stops? 314 00:16:26,729 --> 00:16:28,447 Well, people kept ringing the bell! 315 00:16:32,689 --> 00:16:34,839 Well, what about the toe? What happened to the toe? 316 00:16:35,009 --> 00:16:36,647 Well, I am happy to say... 317 00:16:36,809 --> 00:16:40,245 ...the little guy's back in place at the end of the line. 318 00:16:41,969 --> 00:16:45,439 You did all this for a pinkie toe? 319 00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:48,319 Well, it's a valuable appendage. 320 00:16:51,049 --> 00:16:55,247 So Kramer found the toe, and they reattached it. 321 00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:57,804 - Really? - Yeah. Poor kid. 322 00:16:57,969 --> 00:16:59,880 - What an ordeal. - And you know... 323 00:17:00,049 --> 00:17:03,325 ...how extremely sensitive she is. She's gonna need our full support. 324 00:17:03,489 --> 00:17:05,684 - Yeah, right. - Look who's here. 325 00:17:05,929 --> 00:17:07,726 - Toby. - Hey, it's Toby. 326 00:17:07,889 --> 00:17:10,608 Hi. How are you? How are you feeling? 327 00:17:11,049 --> 00:17:13,119 - I'll be okay. - Are you sure? 328 00:17:13,289 --> 00:17:15,598 - I think so. - Toby, what can I do? 329 00:17:15,769 --> 00:17:18,681 - Can I get you something? - No, thank you. 330 00:17:18,849 --> 00:17:20,999 Toby, please let us help. We're family. 331 00:17:21,169 --> 00:17:23,558 Well, I could use a cup of coffee. 332 00:17:24,769 --> 00:17:27,124 - She got the promotion? - Yep. 333 00:17:27,329 --> 00:17:29,320 - Why? - I'll tell you why. 334 00:17:29,489 --> 00:17:32,322 Because of her pinkie toe, that's why. 335 00:17:32,529 --> 00:17:36,363 Because Lippman felt so sorry for her, he didn't want to hurt her feelings. 336 00:17:36,529 --> 00:17:39,248 - Too bad. - Sure, the pinkie toe is cute... 337 00:17:39,409 --> 00:17:41,969 ...but I mean, what is it? It's useless. 338 00:17:42,129 --> 00:17:46,566 It does nothing. It's got that little nail that is just impossible to cut. 339 00:17:46,729 --> 00:17:48,367 - Why do we need it? - That's the one... 340 00:17:48,529 --> 00:17:50,440 ...that goes "wee, wee, wee" all the way home. 341 00:17:51,649 --> 00:17:54,038 - You just shut the- - Elaine, did you hear the news? 342 00:17:54,209 --> 00:17:56,677 - Toby got promoted. - Yes, I heard, Kramer. 343 00:17:56,849 --> 00:17:59,921 - I work there, remember? - You know what she told me? 344 00:18:00,089 --> 00:18:02,922 Her first order of business is to put my coffee table book... 345 00:18:03,089 --> 00:18:05,398 ...into the bookstores as soon as possible. 346 00:18:05,569 --> 00:18:08,037 - Oh, wonderful. - Throughout this whole thing... 347 00:18:08,209 --> 00:18:12,202 - ... she always kept smiling. - Of course. She's deranged. 348 00:18:15,169 --> 00:18:17,842 I went down to the magazine, pleaded with him to see me again. 349 00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:20,603 He agreed to come down tonight and write another article. 350 00:18:20,969 --> 00:18:23,085 I heard you went down to somebody's office... 351 00:18:23,249 --> 00:18:25,080 - ... and heckled them. - Damn right. 352 00:18:25,249 --> 00:18:27,717 - We've been lap dogs long enough. - How could you do that? 353 00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:29,447 Everybody's talking about it. 354 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:32,043 It's about time one of us drew a line in the sand. 355 00:18:32,249 --> 00:18:35,525 Jerry, you're like Rosa Parks. 356 00:18:36,529 --> 00:18:38,281 You opened the door for all of us. 357 00:18:38,449 --> 00:18:40,519 I can't wait until somebody heckles me. 358 00:18:40,689 --> 00:18:42,839 - Well, it won't be long. - Ladies and gentlemen... 359 00:18:43,009 --> 00:18:45,603 - ... please welcome Jerry Seinfeld. - Got to go. 360 00:18:48,449 --> 00:18:49,882 Robin? Robin. 361 00:18:50,929 --> 00:18:53,523 - George, what is it? I'm working. - Robin, listen to me. 362 00:18:53,689 --> 00:18:55,725 The most amazing thing has happened. 363 00:18:55,889 --> 00:18:58,449 Kramer has opened my eyes. 364 00:18:58,649 --> 00:18:59,877 I think I've changed. 365 00:19:01,009 --> 00:19:02,681 - What are you talking about? - Okay. 366 00:19:02,849 --> 00:19:04,680 I mean, Bozo the Clown. 367 00:19:04,849 --> 00:19:08,444 I mean, does he really need "the Clown"in his title? 368 00:19:08,609 --> 00:19:10,600 As clown. Bozo the Clown. 369 00:19:11,049 --> 00:19:14,007 Are we gonna confuse him with Bozo the district attorney? 370 00:19:14,209 --> 00:19:17,167 Bozo the pope? There's no other Bozo. 371 00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:22,199 You'll see. Things will be different now if you'll just give me one more chance. 372 00:19:22,489 --> 00:19:25,401 Listen, I got to think about this. 373 00:19:25,569 --> 00:19:29,881 - All right, but I'm serious about this. - All right. Hand it over, man. 374 00:19:31,649 --> 00:19:33,526 That's why men hunt and women nest. 375 00:19:33,689 --> 00:19:36,044 He's got a gun! He's got a gun! 376 00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:37,403 Get out of the way! 377 00:19:45,249 --> 00:19:46,967 - George. - What? 378 00:19:47,329 --> 00:19:51,004 - This is Ronnie Kaye. - The prop comic? 379 00:19:53,129 --> 00:19:54,357 Hi. I didn't- 380 00:19:54,529 --> 00:19:57,646 I didn't recognize you. What, did you-? You get a haircut? 381 00:19:57,809 --> 00:19:59,845 Nostrils. 382 00:20:00,649 --> 00:20:02,287 George? 383 00:20:02,689 --> 00:20:04,520 Could I have a word? 384 00:20:13,249 --> 00:20:16,639 I was in a hotel, and the back of a door in the hotel, they have that fire map. 385 00:20:16,809 --> 00:20:19,448 I'm flattered they think I'll stand in a burning hotel room... 386 00:20:19,609 --> 00:20:21,042 ...memorizing directions. 387 00:20:21,289 --> 00:20:24,998 I'll go left by the stair, right by the candy machine. 388 00:20:25,329 --> 00:20:29,322 I'd probably get lost, have to go back to the room, check the map again. 389 00:20:30,449 --> 00:20:34,806 They always tell you, whatever you do in a hotel fire, do not panic. 390 00:20:35,009 --> 00:20:37,887 Hey, I've got four minutes to live. I've never panicked in my life. 391 00:20:38,049 --> 00:20:39,641 It's my option. 392 00:20:40,009 --> 00:20:42,398 Even if they find you, you have a perfect excuse. 393 00:20:42,769 --> 00:20:44,885 They saved you swinging from the shower curtain... 394 00:20:45,049 --> 00:20:47,847 ...naked with the ice bucket on your head. What happened? 395 00:20:48,169 --> 00:20:50,683 Well, I panicked. That's understandable. 396 00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:58,280 Subtitles by SDl Media Group