1 00:00:02,281 --> 00:00:03,919 Car names are so stupid, aren't they? 2 00:00:05,521 --> 00:00:07,079 No baron has ever owned a LeBaron. 3 00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:08,993 Or the Ford LTD. 4 00:00:09,161 --> 00:00:12,233 LTD. Limited. It's a limited edition. 5 00:00:12,401 --> 00:00:14,961 What did they make, 50 million of those? 6 00:00:15,121 --> 00:00:18,477 Yes, it's limited to the number we can sell. 7 00:00:19,041 --> 00:00:22,511 Or when they try and mangle a positive word into a car name. 8 00:00:22,681 --> 00:00:25,434 You know how they'll do that? The Integra. 9 00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:28,877 Oh, integrity? No, Integra. 10 00:00:29,041 --> 00:00:32,351 The Supra or the lmpreza. Yeah? 11 00:00:32,521 --> 00:00:35,115 Well, I hope it's not a "lemona." 12 00:00:35,281 --> 00:00:38,478 Or you'll be hearing from my "lawya." 13 00:00:42,401 --> 00:00:45,393 So, George, you sure I can't show you any other cars? 14 00:00:46,281 --> 00:00:49,239 I don't think so, Vic. Done my homework. 15 00:00:49,401 --> 00:00:51,915 '89 Volvo. That's the car for me. It's the one I want. 16 00:00:52,121 --> 00:00:56,273 - I got a LeBaron convertible right here. - N.I., not interested. 17 00:00:56,441 --> 00:01:00,195 Got a few more miles on it, but the previous owner was Jon Voight. 18 00:01:01,961 --> 00:01:03,758 Jon Voight? 19 00:01:07,001 --> 00:01:08,434 Okay, Tim, you're welcome. 20 00:01:09,681 --> 00:01:12,036 - Was that Tim Whatley? - Yes, it was. 21 00:01:12,201 --> 00:01:13,475 He wanted your address. 22 00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:16,951 You, friend, will be invited to his night-before- Thanksgiving party. 23 00:01:17,721 --> 00:01:19,837 He's got that great apartment on 77th Street... 24 00:01:20,001 --> 00:01:22,834 ...and they overlook where they inflate those huge balloons... 25 00:01:23,001 --> 00:01:24,912 ...for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. 26 00:01:25,081 --> 00:01:29,632 I have always had a big crush on Tim. Why can't he ask me out? 27 00:01:29,801 --> 00:01:32,235 He's a dentist. You don't wanna go out with a dentist. 28 00:01:32,401 --> 00:01:34,039 - Why? - He'll always be criticising... 29 00:01:34,201 --> 00:01:36,761 ...your brushing technique. It'll drive you crazy. 30 00:01:36,921 --> 00:01:39,151 Away from the gums. 31 00:01:40,841 --> 00:01:42,593 New car! 32 00:01:42,881 --> 00:01:44,360 Hey! 33 00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:45,954 Did you get the Volvo? 34 00:01:46,121 --> 00:01:49,909 No, I decided to go with an '89 LeBaron. 35 00:01:51,601 --> 00:01:53,034 A LeBaron? 36 00:01:53,201 --> 00:01:55,510 I thought Consumer said Volvo was the car. 37 00:01:55,681 --> 00:01:58,036 What consumer? I'm the consumer. 38 00:01:59,401 --> 00:02:03,280 - Seems like a strange choice. - Well, maybe so. 39 00:02:03,441 --> 00:02:07,719 But it was good enough for Mr. Jon Voight. 40 00:02:08,401 --> 00:02:12,030 - Jon Voight? The actor? - That's right. 41 00:02:12,201 --> 00:02:16,672 He just happened to be the previous owner of the vehicle. 42 00:02:16,841 --> 00:02:20,629 You bought a car because it belonged to Jon Voight? 43 00:02:20,801 --> 00:02:22,280 No. No. 44 00:02:22,441 --> 00:02:24,397 I think "yes, yes." 45 00:02:24,601 --> 00:02:28,150 You like the idea of telling people you're driving Jon Voight's car. 46 00:02:28,761 --> 00:02:30,240 All right, maybe I do. So what? 47 00:02:30,441 --> 00:02:34,719 I've never even seen him in a car. I mean, look at his movies. No cars. 48 00:02:34,881 --> 00:02:37,634 De/iverance, canoe. 49 00:02:37,801 --> 00:02:40,520 Midnight Cowboy, boots. 50 00:02:40,681 --> 00:02:41,955 Runaway Train... 51 00:02:42,121 --> 00:02:43,474 ...runaway train. 52 00:02:44,521 --> 00:02:48,434 Hey. Jerry, you know that shoe repair place at the end of the block? 53 00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:51,399 If they don't get business, they'll shut down and make way... 54 00:02:51,561 --> 00:02:54,871 ...for one of those gourmet coffee or cookie stores. 55 00:02:55,441 --> 00:02:58,672 - I like coffee. - I like cookies. 56 00:02:58,841 --> 00:03:00,672 Well, of course you do. And you know why? 57 00:03:00,841 --> 00:03:02,991 Because you're a bunch of yuppies. 58 00:03:03,161 --> 00:03:05,994 It's your "go, go" corporate- takeover lifestyles... 59 00:03:06,161 --> 00:03:08,470 ...that are driving out these mom-and-pop stores... 60 00:03:08,641 --> 00:03:10,950 ...and destroying the fabric of this neighbourhood. 61 00:03:11,121 --> 00:03:13,510 Well, what's so great about a mom-and-pop store? 62 00:03:13,681 --> 00:03:17,390 Let me tell you, if my mom and pop ran a store, I wouldn't shop there. 63 00:03:18,121 --> 00:03:19,395 Hey, Bucambo... 64 00:03:19,561 --> 00:03:21,870 ...they've been in the neighbourhood for 48 years. 65 00:03:22,041 --> 00:03:24,032 Now, come on, Jerry, you gotta have shoes... 66 00:03:24,201 --> 00:03:25,554 ...in need of a cobbler. 67 00:03:25,721 --> 00:03:28,918 I really don't wear the kind of shoes that have to be cobbled. 68 00:03:29,081 --> 00:03:30,355 Well, what about sneakers? 69 00:03:30,521 --> 00:03:32,432 They'll clean them. Do complete detailing. 70 00:03:33,481 --> 00:03:36,120 - All right. Take them. - Yeah, yeah. 71 00:03:37,001 --> 00:03:39,720 Kramer, without you, we'd be out of business. 72 00:03:39,881 --> 00:03:42,998 These belong to my neighbour, Jerry Seinfeld, the comedian. 73 00:03:43,161 --> 00:03:46,710 - So many sneakers. - Well, he's got a Peter Pan complex. 74 00:03:46,881 --> 00:03:48,678 They'll be ready a week from Thursday. 75 00:03:48,841 --> 00:03:50,194 Oh, well, no rush. 76 00:03:51,841 --> 00:03:54,480 - What's the matter? - I keep getting these nosebleeds. 77 00:03:54,641 --> 00:03:57,633 - Lie down. And put your head back. - Oh, yeah. 78 00:04:03,001 --> 00:04:05,720 - Hey, what's with your ceiling? - What? 79 00:04:05,881 --> 00:04:08,759 You got wires sticking out every which way. 80 00:04:08,921 --> 00:04:11,310 It looks dangerous. You should call an electrician. 81 00:04:12,161 --> 00:04:14,152 You know, in the 48 years we've been here... 82 00:04:14,321 --> 00:04:16,596 ...I don't think we've ever called an electrician. 83 00:04:16,761 --> 00:04:19,719 Well, you should. This place could blow any minute. 84 00:04:32,041 --> 00:04:33,838 - Elaine. - Yes, Mr. Pitt? 85 00:04:34,001 --> 00:04:37,311 Have you gotten all the salt off those pretzels yet? 86 00:04:37,481 --> 00:04:39,039 No. I'm still working on it. 87 00:04:39,201 --> 00:04:40,793 What in blazes are you listening to? 88 00:04:40,961 --> 00:04:43,077 Artie Shaw, "Honeysuckle Jump." 89 00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,197 That was Artie Shaw, "Honeysuck/e Jump." 90 00:04:45,361 --> 00:04:47,636 Elaine, how did you know that? 91 00:04:47,801 --> 00:04:52,352 Oh, my father used to have a huge collection of big-band records. 92 00:04:52,521 --> 00:04:54,830 Congratu/ations to Wayne Hopper for identifying it. 93 00:04:55,001 --> 00:04:57,037 By doing so, he becomes our seventh person... 94 00:04:57,201 --> 00:04:58,839 ... to man the Woody Woodpeck er ba//oon... 95 00:04:59,001 --> 00:05:00,912 ... in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. 96 00:05:01,081 --> 00:05:02,992 There are on/y three spots /eft. 97 00:05:03,161 --> 00:05:05,550 When we come back, you'// have three more chances... 98 00:05:05,721 --> 00:05:08,360 ... to win a spot ho/ding a rope under Woody Woodpeck er. 99 00:05:08,521 --> 00:05:11,274 Could you identify the next song? Could you? Could you? 100 00:05:11,441 --> 00:05:15,070 Why would you wanna hold the ropes from the Woody Woodpecker balloon? 101 00:05:15,241 --> 00:05:17,038 My father was a stern man. 102 00:05:17,201 --> 00:05:19,431 He forbade us to participate in any activities... 103 00:05:19,601 --> 00:05:22,115 ...that he thought were associated with the common man. 104 00:05:22,281 --> 00:05:24,749 The Thanksgiving Day Parade was first on the list. 105 00:05:24,921 --> 00:05:27,594 All right. Okay. I'll do the best I can. 106 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:30,275 Here we go for the next spot under the ba//oon. 107 00:05:30,441 --> 00:05:33,513 If you know the name of this next song, ca// 555-B AND. 108 00:05:38,561 --> 00:05:40,517 Elaine? Do you know it? What song is it? 109 00:05:40,681 --> 00:05:43,832 - Will you shut up? I can't hear! - I'm sorry. 110 00:05:44,961 --> 00:05:47,714 Oh, I've got it! It's "Next Stop, Pottersville." 111 00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,553 Goody! Yes, yes, yes! 112 00:05:49,721 --> 00:05:52,997 "Next Stop, Pottersville." You are a genius. 113 00:05:54,761 --> 00:05:57,321 You'll love this car, even if you don't like Jon Voight. 114 00:05:57,481 --> 00:06:00,041 I like Jon Voight. It's a strange reason to buy a car... 115 00:06:00,201 --> 00:06:01,793 ...because he might have driven it. 116 00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:03,314 What do you mean, "might"? 117 00:06:03,481 --> 00:06:06,234 - You don't think he really owned it? - I don't know. 118 00:06:06,401 --> 00:06:08,471 Why would the guy make up something like that? 119 00:06:08,641 --> 00:06:11,155 Of the names he could pick, why settle on Jon Voight? 120 00:06:11,321 --> 00:06:13,073 Don't you see, that's the genius of it. 121 00:06:13,241 --> 00:06:16,597 If he had said Liam Neeson, you'd know he's making it up. 122 00:06:16,761 --> 00:06:18,717 Liam Neeson? 123 00:06:19,041 --> 00:06:22,192 How are you comparing Liam Neeson with Jon Voight? 124 00:06:22,361 --> 00:06:24,079 Jerry, we're talking about Joe Buck. 125 00:06:24,881 --> 00:06:28,760 If you can play Joe Buck, Oskar Schindler's a cakewalk. 126 00:06:28,921 --> 00:06:30,798 Oh, look at this. I stepped in gum. 127 00:06:30,961 --> 00:06:33,270 You're not getting in my car with gummy shoes. 128 00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:37,034 All right. I'll change my shoes. 129 00:06:37,801 --> 00:06:39,075 Liam Neeson. 130 00:06:39,241 --> 00:06:40,879 You know he's not American. 131 00:06:42,081 --> 00:06:43,992 Let me get a clean pair. 132 00:06:45,201 --> 00:06:48,432 Everybody's ta/king at me 133 00:06:49,281 --> 00:06:51,920 I can't hear a word they're saying 134 00:06:53,361 --> 00:06:56,034 Just driving round In Jon Voight's car 135 00:06:57,641 --> 00:06:59,996 Kramer! 136 00:07:03,401 --> 00:07:05,357 Hey, where's all my sneakers? 137 00:07:05,521 --> 00:07:08,274 - You said take them. - Not all of them. 138 00:07:08,441 --> 00:07:10,796 Well, obviously, there was a miscommunication. 139 00:07:11,441 --> 00:07:13,636 Obviously. So, what am I supposed to wear? 140 00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:15,837 - Jerry, I left you a pair right here. - Where? 141 00:07:16,001 --> 00:07:17,400 Come on. You're not looking. 142 00:07:17,561 --> 00:07:20,633 Here. There. Put on those boots. 143 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,033 I can't wear these. 144 00:07:23,241 --> 00:07:25,118 - Well, why not? - They're uncomfortable. 145 00:07:25,281 --> 00:07:27,317 Come on here. Try them on. 146 00:07:28,401 --> 00:07:29,720 Where did you get those? 147 00:07:29,881 --> 00:07:32,679 I worked a club in Dallas once, and they couldn't pay me... 148 00:07:32,841 --> 00:07:34,115 ...so they gave me these. 149 00:07:36,401 --> 00:07:39,313 I can't wear these. They look ridiculous. 150 00:07:41,801 --> 00:07:43,712 You look like a cowboy. 151 00:07:44,641 --> 00:07:47,439 I don't wanna be a cowboy. 152 00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,319 Oh, stop it. 153 00:07:49,481 --> 00:07:50,960 You know Tim the dentist? 154 00:07:51,121 --> 00:07:53,396 I got an invitation to his Thanksgiving eve party. 155 00:07:53,561 --> 00:07:56,758 - Yeah? I got one too. - Oh, yeah? 156 00:07:57,761 --> 00:07:59,956 - What? - No. Nothing. 157 00:08:00,121 --> 00:08:03,955 - No, what is it? - No, it's just that I didn't get one. 158 00:08:04,121 --> 00:08:05,440 You didn't get one? 159 00:08:05,601 --> 00:08:08,513 But he called me up and asked for yours and Elaine's addresses. 160 00:08:08,681 --> 00:08:10,160 I'm sure that means I'm invited. 161 00:08:10,321 --> 00:08:12,596 Not necessarily. 162 00:08:12,761 --> 00:08:14,831 Why would you call someone for addresses... 163 00:08:15,001 --> 00:08:16,753 ...if you're not invited to the party? 164 00:08:16,921 --> 00:08:19,560 That's the genius of it. 165 00:08:22,361 --> 00:08:26,354 I'm calling Elaine. See if she can find out anything from Tim Whatley. 166 00:08:26,521 --> 00:08:29,638 Hey, I got Jon Voight's LeBaron. 167 00:08:30,521 --> 00:08:32,512 Boss. 168 00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:38,198 Four thousand dollars! We can't afford that. 169 00:08:38,361 --> 00:08:40,272 Well, you have to do something about it... 170 00:08:40,441 --> 00:08:42,750 ...because it's in violation of the building code. 171 00:08:42,921 --> 00:08:44,991 Otherwise, they're gonna close you up. 172 00:08:46,561 --> 00:08:48,916 Supposing we can't pay for it? 173 00:08:49,081 --> 00:08:52,960 Then I have to report you. Otherwise, I lose my license. 174 00:08:53,121 --> 00:08:55,157 Sorry. 175 00:08:57,241 --> 00:09:00,756 Forty-eight years, Mom. And now we have to close. 176 00:09:00,921 --> 00:09:03,879 All because of that idiot and his bloody nose. 177 00:09:04,041 --> 00:09:06,077 Afternoon, Mom. Afternoon, Pop. 178 00:09:06,241 --> 00:09:08,072 You know you got a crack in the sidewalk? 179 00:09:08,241 --> 00:09:09,515 You ought to get that fixed. 180 00:09:15,321 --> 00:09:17,471 - So? - Come on, put the top up. 181 00:09:17,641 --> 00:09:21,031 - It's November. - I feel alive, Jerry. 182 00:09:21,201 --> 00:09:22,793 Let's check out the glove box. 183 00:09:22,961 --> 00:09:24,440 Pencil. 184 00:09:24,601 --> 00:09:27,069 Hey, you don't think? 185 00:09:27,241 --> 00:09:28,879 Sure. That's Jon Voight's pencil. 186 00:09:29,601 --> 00:09:31,000 With Jon Voight's teeth marks. 187 00:09:33,761 --> 00:09:36,229 Owner's manual. 188 00:09:36,401 --> 00:09:38,596 You know what? This car was owned by Jon Voight. 189 00:09:38,761 --> 00:09:40,035 You see? I told you. 190 00:09:40,801 --> 00:09:43,599 Except Jon is spelled with an H. 191 00:09:43,761 --> 00:09:46,434 - J-O-H-N. - So? 192 00:09:46,601 --> 00:09:49,798 Doesn't Jon Voight spell his name J-O-N? 193 00:09:56,441 --> 00:09:58,318 - So, what are you saying? - Nothing. 194 00:09:58,481 --> 00:10:01,041 I'm sure Jon probably misspelled his own name. 195 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:03,954 I know sometimes I spell Jerry with a G. 196 00:10:04,121 --> 00:10:05,554 And an I. 197 00:10:13,601 --> 00:10:15,796 - Get out of the car! - What? 198 00:10:15,961 --> 00:10:19,351 That's right, you heard me. Get out. You're ruining this whole experience. 199 00:10:19,521 --> 00:10:22,240 Oh, look. There's Gregory Peck's bicycle. 200 00:10:22,401 --> 00:10:25,074 - Get out! - And Barbara Mandrell's skateboard. 201 00:10:25,241 --> 00:10:27,311 Get out! 202 00:10:31,321 --> 00:10:32,640 Hey, cowboy. 203 00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:35,160 Where's your horse? 204 00:10:37,001 --> 00:10:39,390 Yeah, you better run. 205 00:10:43,881 --> 00:10:45,997 - Did they take anything? - They didn't touch me. 206 00:10:46,161 --> 00:10:48,516 I tripped because of these stupid cowboy boots. 207 00:10:48,681 --> 00:10:51,912 Well, anyway, again, I'm sorry about throwing you out of the car. 208 00:10:52,081 --> 00:10:54,515 - You really seemed to enjoy it. - It was kind of fun. 209 00:10:55,841 --> 00:11:00,153 You know, maybe his name really is J-O-H-N... 210 00:11:00,321 --> 00:11:02,835 ...but he changed it to J-O-N for show business. 211 00:11:03,201 --> 00:11:06,193 Well, you know, J-O-N is a lot zippier. 212 00:11:06,681 --> 00:11:08,831 Yeah, that's possible. 213 00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:11,561 How would you find out something like that? 214 00:11:12,601 --> 00:11:14,273 Wait a minute. What am I thinking? 215 00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:17,239 I've got the entire Yankee organisation at my disposal. 216 00:11:18,361 --> 00:11:21,398 - He'll dispose of it. - That's right. See you later. 217 00:11:23,161 --> 00:11:26,790 So, Jerome, I did a little snooping around for you. 218 00:11:26,961 --> 00:11:33,560 - What did you find out, Lois? - Well, I talked to Tim Whatley. 219 00:11:33,881 --> 00:11:35,155 Yeah? 220 00:11:35,321 --> 00:11:38,119 And I asked him, "Should Jerry bring anything?" 221 00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:40,112 Subtle. 222 00:11:40,281 --> 00:11:43,000 And he said, "Why would Jerry bring anything?" 223 00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:46,358 All right, but let me ask you this. Which word did he emphasise? 224 00:11:46,521 --> 00:11:49,513 Did he say, "Why would Jerry bring anything?" 225 00:11:49,681 --> 00:11:52,753 Or, "Why would Jerry bring anything?" 226 00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:56,277 Did he emphasise "Jerry" or "bring"? 227 00:11:56,481 --> 00:11:59,120 I think he emphasised "would." 228 00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:04,157 You know what? The hell with his party. I don't wanna go to begin with. 229 00:12:04,321 --> 00:12:06,630 - Hey. - Hey. So where's my sneakers? 230 00:12:06,801 --> 00:12:08,837 - That's what I wanna know. - What do you mean? 231 00:12:09,001 --> 00:12:10,673 I saw Mom and Pop this morning... 232 00:12:10,841 --> 00:12:13,958 ...but when I went by the store on my way home, the place was empty. 233 00:12:14,121 --> 00:12:18,751 Everything is gone. Mom and Pop... vanished. 234 00:12:18,921 --> 00:12:21,515 - So all my sneakers are gone? - I'm afraid so. 235 00:12:21,681 --> 00:12:23,433 And that's just the tip of the iceberg. 236 00:12:23,601 --> 00:12:26,798 I've been asking around. They didn't even have any kids. 237 00:12:27,761 --> 00:12:30,673 Mom and Pop aren't even a mom and pop? 238 00:12:30,841 --> 00:12:32,115 It was all an act, Jerry. 239 00:12:32,281 --> 00:12:34,954 They conned us, and they scored bigtime. 240 00:12:35,521 --> 00:12:40,117 So Mom and Pop's plan was to move into the neighbourhood... 241 00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:42,954 ... establish trust... 242 00:12:43,121 --> 00:12:45,589 ...for 48 years... 243 00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:50,270 ...and then run off with Jerry's sneakers? 244 00:12:50,481 --> 00:12:52,472 Apparently. 245 00:12:53,561 --> 00:12:55,472 All right. That's enough of this. 246 00:12:55,641 --> 00:12:58,155 - Where you going? - I gotta go to the Dixieland Deli... 247 00:12:58,321 --> 00:13:01,233 ...to pick up Mr. Pitt's security pass for the parade. 248 00:13:01,401 --> 00:13:04,120 Why does he wanna hold a rope underneath Woody Woodpecker... 249 00:13:04,281 --> 00:13:05,873 ...in the Thanksgiving Day Parade? 250 00:13:06,041 --> 00:13:09,397 He finds his laugh intoxicating. 251 00:13:11,281 --> 00:13:13,351 So, George, what kind of promotional events... 252 00:13:13,521 --> 00:13:15,113 ...are we talking about? - Well... 253 00:13:15,281 --> 00:13:18,830 ...I think we need more special days at the stadium. 254 00:13:19,001 --> 00:13:20,275 You know, like... 255 00:13:20,441 --> 00:13:22,750 ...Joe Pepitone Day... 256 00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:26,514 ...or Jon Voight Day. - Jon Voight? 257 00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:28,637 The actor? 258 00:13:29,681 --> 00:13:32,718 I make a motion that we have no more of these meetings... 259 00:13:32,881 --> 00:13:36,112 ...that have been initiated by George Costanza. 260 00:13:36,761 --> 00:13:38,911 I suppose if I had suggested Liam Neeson Day... 261 00:13:39,081 --> 00:13:40,833 ...you'd all be patting me on the back. 262 00:13:42,761 --> 00:13:44,797 I guessed Stan Herman's "Boomtown Blues." 263 00:13:45,961 --> 00:13:51,081 - What did you guess? - It was "Next Stop, Pottersville." 264 00:13:51,241 --> 00:13:53,038 Everybody knows that. 265 00:13:53,561 --> 00:13:55,631 You know when they're giving out the passes? 266 00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:57,120 After the music. 267 00:14:10,801 --> 00:14:12,632 Oh, man. 268 00:14:16,041 --> 00:14:18,680 Taxi! Taxi. 269 00:14:19,881 --> 00:14:21,837 Hey! Jon Voight! 270 00:14:22,001 --> 00:14:24,754 Jon Voight! Hey, listen. 271 00:14:26,201 --> 00:14:28,761 Can I ask you something? Listen. Do you...? Wait... 272 00:14:37,201 --> 00:14:39,840 - No Jon Voight Day, huh? - No. 273 00:14:40,001 --> 00:14:42,993 Now I'll always have this doubt about the car. 274 00:14:43,161 --> 00:14:45,675 - What, your jaw still hurts? - Yeah, it's all swollen. 275 00:14:45,841 --> 00:14:48,036 I think I chipped a tooth when I fell yesterday. 276 00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:51,115 - Have somebody look at it. - I'm calling dentists all day. 277 00:14:51,281 --> 00:14:52,999 Nobody works day before Thanksgiving. 278 00:14:53,161 --> 00:14:55,880 - You going to the party? - No. I don't know if I'm invited. 279 00:14:56,041 --> 00:14:59,078 - There'll be lots of dentists there. - Yeah, you're right. 280 00:14:59,241 --> 00:15:00,879 You don't wanna suffer all weekend. 281 00:15:01,041 --> 00:15:03,475 Yeah, I gotta see a dentist. This is killing me. 282 00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:06,519 Well, I'll take a chance. We'll go together. 283 00:15:08,761 --> 00:15:10,672 Maybe I'll just meet you there. 284 00:15:10,841 --> 00:15:12,559 - You don't wanna go with me? - Jerry... 285 00:15:12,721 --> 00:15:15,679 ...for all I know, this guy went out his way to not invite you. 286 00:15:15,841 --> 00:15:17,672 How am I gonna feel if I show up... 287 00:15:17,841 --> 00:15:19,797 ...with an uninvited, unwelcome intruder? 288 00:15:20,401 --> 00:15:23,234 The way I feel when I go places with you? 289 00:15:25,561 --> 00:15:27,950 - Hey. - Hey. Did you find my sneakers yet? 290 00:15:28,121 --> 00:15:30,635 No. But I ran into somebody you might be interested in. 291 00:15:30,801 --> 00:15:32,757 A Mr. Jon Voight, the actor. 292 00:15:32,961 --> 00:15:35,634 Jon Voight, are you kidding me? Did you talk to him? 293 00:15:35,801 --> 00:15:37,234 He was a little standoffish. 294 00:15:39,201 --> 00:15:40,953 What, you didn't ask him about the car? 295 00:15:41,121 --> 00:15:44,909 I couldn't. His cab pulled away. But he did make an impression on me. 296 00:15:45,081 --> 00:15:46,514 - Look. - What? 297 00:15:46,681 --> 00:15:48,911 His tooth marks. He bit me. 298 00:15:49,081 --> 00:15:51,879 - Jon Voight bit you? - What is he, a vampire? 299 00:15:52,041 --> 00:15:54,919 No, it's justifiable. He thought I was going for his wallet. 300 00:15:55,081 --> 00:15:57,356 - He left perfect imprints. - That he did. 301 00:15:57,521 --> 00:16:00,433 You've got that pencil with the bite marks on it? 302 00:16:00,601 --> 00:16:04,355 We get a trained eye to match them, and we'll see if you're driving his car. 303 00:16:04,521 --> 00:16:06,830 Oh, please. 304 00:16:07,001 --> 00:16:08,912 Wait a minute. Wait, it's not that stupid. 305 00:16:09,081 --> 00:16:11,151 No, it's stupid. 306 00:16:11,321 --> 00:16:14,040 Why? Why is it impossible? I mean, they're both bite marks. 307 00:16:14,201 --> 00:16:16,840 You're showing up at that party with a chewed- up pencil... 308 00:16:17,001 --> 00:16:18,275 ...and Kramer's gnarled arm? 309 00:16:19,801 --> 00:16:21,792 - It's worth a shot. - Yeah. 310 00:16:21,961 --> 00:16:23,872 Kramer, you wanna go to the party together? 311 00:16:24,041 --> 00:16:26,191 Jerry, look, come on, I'm an invited guest. 312 00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:29,478 I can't be aiding and abetting some party crasher. 313 00:16:42,881 --> 00:16:46,840 Excuse me, dentist? Dentist? 314 00:16:49,401 --> 00:16:51,039 Dentist? 315 00:16:51,201 --> 00:16:53,556 Are you a dentist? 316 00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:55,473 Are you a dentist? 317 00:16:56,241 --> 00:16:58,152 These are the balloons? 318 00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:00,198 Big deal. All I see is Woody Woodpecker. 319 00:17:01,841 --> 00:17:03,957 You got a problem with Woody Woodpecker? 320 00:17:04,121 --> 00:17:06,715 Yeah. What is he, some sort of an instigator? 321 00:17:06,881 --> 00:17:10,112 That's right. He's a troublemaker. 322 00:17:11,961 --> 00:17:13,394 Hey, did you get my message? 323 00:17:13,561 --> 00:17:15,836 What? I can't hear a word you're saying. 324 00:17:16,001 --> 00:17:18,276 I was stuck at the Dixieland Deli all day. 325 00:17:18,441 --> 00:17:20,875 My head is still ringing. 326 00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:22,394 Where's Tim? 327 00:17:22,561 --> 00:17:24,233 What's that? Empire State Building? 328 00:17:24,401 --> 00:17:26,278 What? I can't hear you! 329 00:17:28,401 --> 00:17:29,800 Elaine, would you marry me? 330 00:17:31,241 --> 00:17:33,311 Wh...? I told you, I can't hear a word. 331 00:17:33,481 --> 00:17:35,711 All right. Forget it. 332 00:17:36,281 --> 00:17:39,478 - Hey, Tim, how you doing? - George. Kramer, how you doing? 333 00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:41,279 Watch... Watch the arm. 334 00:17:41,441 --> 00:17:43,955 Listen, we don't wanna bother you. We know you're busy. 335 00:17:44,121 --> 00:17:46,635 - No, it's okay, what is it? - Let me show you something. 336 00:17:46,801 --> 00:17:48,393 - Take a look. - I'm gonna get going. 337 00:17:48,561 --> 00:17:50,995 - Let me take down your number. - Great. 338 00:17:52,481 --> 00:17:55,075 - Hey, is that Jerry Seinfeld? - He didn't come with us. 339 00:17:55,281 --> 00:17:57,237 - Tim, the pencil. - Jerry. 340 00:17:57,401 --> 00:18:00,120 - Hey, Tim. - Jerry. I didn't think you'd show. 341 00:18:00,681 --> 00:18:03,957 Did you say, "Jerry, I didn't think you'd show"... 342 00:18:04,121 --> 00:18:06,681 ...or, "Jerry, I didn't think you'd show." 343 00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:11,557 - Elaine, hi. - Tim. 344 00:18:11,721 --> 00:18:13,279 I'm really glad you came. 345 00:18:14,041 --> 00:18:17,192 - What? - I'm really glad you came. 346 00:18:20,601 --> 00:18:23,911 Listen, Elaine, I've been wanting to ask you... 347 00:18:24,081 --> 00:18:26,993 ...would you like to go out with me New Year's Eve? 348 00:18:31,041 --> 00:18:32,633 Thanks. 349 00:18:32,801 --> 00:18:34,917 What? What? 350 00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:36,719 Let me ask you something. 351 00:18:36,881 --> 00:18:39,634 Could you tell if teeth marks on somebody's arm... 352 00:18:39,801 --> 00:18:41,393 ...matched teeth marks on a pencil? 353 00:18:42,081 --> 00:18:44,754 - It's possible. - Roll up your sleeve. 354 00:18:44,921 --> 00:18:46,195 Somebody bit you? 355 00:18:46,361 --> 00:18:48,829 Well, not just someone. Jon Voight. 356 00:18:49,001 --> 00:18:50,992 - Jon Voight bit you? - Yeah, yeah. 357 00:18:53,241 --> 00:18:55,277 The pencil. Get the pencil out of your mouth! 358 00:18:55,441 --> 00:18:58,035 You're destroying Jon Voight's teeth marks. 359 00:18:58,201 --> 00:19:00,761 - That's Jon Voight's pencil? - That's right. 360 00:19:00,921 --> 00:19:03,481 And I got his whole car downstairs. 361 00:19:03,641 --> 00:19:06,109 Are you the one you bought his LeBaron convertible? 362 00:19:06,281 --> 00:19:07,953 - Yes! Yes! - Yes! 363 00:19:08,121 --> 00:19:10,157 Yes, I'm the one. 364 00:19:10,321 --> 00:19:14,439 - So you know Jon Voight? - Yes. I went to dental school with him. 365 00:19:15,481 --> 00:19:17,836 - Jon Voight, the actor? - No. 366 00:19:18,001 --> 00:19:19,275 The periodontist. 367 00:19:20,041 --> 00:19:22,236 Can't this wait until Monday? Come by my office. 368 00:19:22,401 --> 00:19:26,679 - Just a quick peek. I'm in agony. - All right. Sit down. 369 00:19:26,881 --> 00:19:29,076 It's this one here in the back. 370 00:19:34,641 --> 00:19:36,871 You popped Woody Woodpecker! 371 00:19:39,041 --> 00:19:41,555 Hey, who invited you anyway? You're a troublemaker. 372 00:19:46,921 --> 00:19:49,389 Looks /ik e Woody Woodpeck er is running out of air. 373 00:19:49,561 --> 00:19:52,121 In fact, he's co//apsing. 374 00:19:52,601 --> 00:19:55,161 Those kids look pretty disappointed. 375 00:19:55,321 --> 00:19:57,994 Especially that big kid up in the front. 376 00:19:58,161 --> 00:19:59,435 How old is he? 377 00:20:01,961 --> 00:20:03,997 - Hello. - He//o, is this Jerry Seinfe/d? 378 00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:05,879 - Yes, it is. - You don't know me... 379 00:20:06,041 --> 00:20:07,793 ...but a really strange thing happened. 380 00:20:07,961 --> 00:20:10,031 I was at a garage sale, and this old couple... 381 00:20:10,201 --> 00:20:11,475 ...sold me used sneakers... 382 00:20:11,641 --> 00:20:14,155 ...they claim belonged to Jerry Seinfeld, the comedian. 383 00:20:14,321 --> 00:20:16,357 Could I have the address to that garage sale? 384 00:20:16,921 --> 00:20:19,310 Okay, thank you very much. 385 00:20:19,641 --> 00:20:21,916 I found Mom and Pop. They're selling my sneakers. 386 00:20:22,081 --> 00:20:23,912 - Where are they? - Parsippany, New Jersey. 387 00:20:24,081 --> 00:20:25,560 Let's go. 388 00:20:26,681 --> 00:20:29,673 - My car's in the shop. - How are we getting to Parsippany? 389 00:20:37,201 --> 00:20:38,714 Jerry... 390 00:20:38,881 --> 00:20:41,395 ...these nosebleeds are starting again. 391 00:20:41,561 --> 00:20:43,517 Maybe we should get you to a hospital. 392 00:20:43,681 --> 00:20:45,831 I ain't going to no Bellevue. 393 00:20:46,001 --> 00:20:49,437 Look at me, I'm falling apart here. 394 00:21:12,321 --> 00:21:14,630 The marching band is a perfect example... 395 00:21:14,801 --> 00:21:17,873 ...of taking something bad and making it difficult too. 396 00:21:18,041 --> 00:21:21,078 I mean, why does the band have to march? We're not moving. 397 00:21:21,241 --> 00:21:24,278 Maybe if they hold still, we could all leave. 398 00:21:24,441 --> 00:21:26,636 Is that why they do it? People try and get away. 399 00:21:26,801 --> 00:21:30,077 "No, you don't. I'm right with you. Right with you, buddy." 400 00:21:30,801 --> 00:21:36,034 The human urge to wave at total strangers just moving by... 401 00:21:36,201 --> 00:21:37,953 ...is very strong, isn't it? 402 00:21:38,121 --> 00:21:39,873 Parades and ocean liners... 403 00:21:40,041 --> 00:21:42,760 ...and those little trains that go through amusement parks. 404 00:21:42,921 --> 00:21:45,355 It's always that bittersweet, kind of hello-goodbye... 405 00:21:45,521 --> 00:21:47,159 ...combination wave, isn't it? Just: 406 00:21:47,321 --> 00:21:49,755 I've never seen these people before in my life... 407 00:21:49,921 --> 00:21:51,718 ...and they're leaving. 408 00:21:58,681 --> 00:21:59,670 Subtitles by SDI Media Group