1 00:00:03,849 --> 00:00:05,919 Loyalty to one sports team is pretty hard to justify... 2 00:00:06,089 --> 00:00:08,762 ...because the players are always changing. The team can move. 3 00:00:08,929 --> 00:00:11,921 You're actually rooting for the clothes when you get right down to it. 4 00:00:12,089 --> 00:00:14,557 I mean, you are standing and cheering and yelling... 5 00:00:14,729 --> 00:00:17,926 ...for your clothes to beat the clothes from another city. 6 00:00:18,169 --> 00:00:19,887 Fans will be so in love with a player... 7 00:00:20,049 --> 00:00:22,882 ...but if he goes to another team, they boo him. 8 00:00:23,049 --> 00:00:25,279 This is the same human being in a different shirt. 9 00:00:25,449 --> 00:00:26,643 They hate him now. 10 00:00:26,809 --> 00:00:28,527 Boo. 11 00:00:28,689 --> 00:00:30,600 Different shirt. 12 00:00:30,769 --> 00:00:33,124 Boo. 13 00:00:36,249 --> 00:00:37,648 Sure you don't want the tickets? 14 00:00:37,809 --> 00:00:39,606 - No. - I can't believe I'm having trouble... 15 00:00:39,769 --> 00:00:42,920 - ... getting rid of Super Bowl tickets. - I'm telling you, skip the wedding. 16 00:00:43,089 --> 00:00:44,238 - Go to the game. - I can't. 17 00:00:44,409 --> 00:00:45,922 The Drake put me in the wedding party. 18 00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:48,398 Well, who schedules his wedding on Super Bowl Sunday? 19 00:00:48,569 --> 00:00:50,958 - Maybe he didn't know. - Let me see. 20 00:00:51,129 --> 00:00:54,007 I can't believe you got these for free. What? Row F? 21 00:00:54,169 --> 00:00:55,318 Row F. 22 00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:57,923 In front of the G's. Hobnobbing with the D's and E's. 23 00:00:58,489 --> 00:00:59,888 How about Kramer or Elaine? 24 00:01:00,049 --> 00:01:02,882 Elaine laughed at me. Kramer's interested in Canadian football. 25 00:01:03,049 --> 00:01:05,517 Well, wish I could help you. 26 00:01:05,689 --> 00:01:08,249 Come on, take them. You could take Bonnie. 27 00:01:08,409 --> 00:01:10,764 You paying my hotel and airfare to Miami? 28 00:01:10,929 --> 00:01:12,840 - What do you think? - In order to use these... 29 00:01:13,009 --> 00:01:14,681 ...I gotta spend, like, 1500 bucks. 30 00:01:14,849 --> 00:01:16,965 This is a bill for $1500. 31 00:01:17,529 --> 00:01:19,565 Plus, she'd ask about the sleeping arrangements. 32 00:01:19,729 --> 00:01:21,959 I find sleeping-arrangement conversations depressing. 33 00:01:22,129 --> 00:01:23,608 Yeah. Sleeping arrangements. 34 00:01:23,769 --> 00:01:25,600 - So you haven't-? - Oh, no, no, no. 35 00:01:25,769 --> 00:01:28,841 I haven't even seen her apartment yet. Tomorrow night's the first night. 36 00:01:29,009 --> 00:01:30,488 Hey, hey. Is that Tim Whatley? 37 00:01:30,969 --> 00:01:33,005 - The dentist? - Is he mad at you for crashing... 38 00:01:33,169 --> 00:01:35,558 - ... his Thanksgiving party? - No. I explained it to him. 39 00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:37,048 - He was fine with it. - Oh, good. 40 00:01:37,209 --> 00:01:38,927 Yeah. I blamed it on you. 41 00:01:39,089 --> 00:01:40,966 - Hi, Tim. - Hey, Jerry. 42 00:01:41,129 --> 00:01:42,767 George. What are you up to? 43 00:01:42,929 --> 00:01:45,682 Oh, just a couple gals out on the town, shopping and gabbing. 44 00:01:45,849 --> 00:01:47,282 I'm getting a makeover. 45 00:01:48,569 --> 00:01:50,400 Hey, how'd you like to go to the Super Bowl? 46 00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:53,686 - What, are you kidding? - Here. Two tickets. Have a good time. 47 00:01:54,769 --> 00:01:57,158 How can I thank you? I'll take you to dinner sometime. 48 00:01:57,329 --> 00:02:00,048 - You ever been to Mendy's? - No. No, no. No dinner. 49 00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:04,442 Tim, you didn't have to get me a thank-you gift. 50 00:02:04,609 --> 00:02:06,964 I know. It's a label maker. 51 00:02:07,129 --> 00:02:09,882 The Label Baby Junior. 52 00:02:10,249 --> 00:02:12,205 Yeah, I hear they're good. 53 00:02:12,369 --> 00:02:15,122 Well, label me thankful. 54 00:02:15,609 --> 00:02:17,839 Okay. Well, you enjoy those tickets. 55 00:02:18,009 --> 00:02:19,727 Bye-bye. 56 00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:23,567 Yeah? 57 00:02:23,729 --> 00:02:25,526 Come in. 58 00:02:26,849 --> 00:02:28,123 Hey, where can I put this? 59 00:02:28,289 --> 00:02:29,642 - What is it? - It's Risk, Jerry. 60 00:02:29,809 --> 00:02:32,687 The game of world conquest. 61 00:02:35,449 --> 00:02:38,725 - All right, that's perfect. - Kramer, why do you have to-? 62 00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:41,525 Hello, Newman. 63 00:02:42,369 --> 00:02:44,564 Hello, Jerry. Will he take it? I gotta go to work. 64 00:02:44,729 --> 00:02:45,957 - Take what? - The board, Jerry. 65 00:02:46,129 --> 00:02:48,848 We've been playing at Newman's for six hours, but he's gotta go. 66 00:02:49,009 --> 00:02:51,682 - Why not leave it at Newman's? - I wanted to. He won't let me. 67 00:02:51,849 --> 00:02:56,240 We have to put the board in a neutral place where no one will tamper with it. 68 00:02:56,409 --> 00:03:00,197 - So that's here? - Yes, yes. You're like Switzerland. 69 00:03:00,369 --> 00:03:02,803 I don't wanna be Switzerland. 70 00:03:02,969 --> 00:03:06,723 Jerry, Newman and I are engaged in an epic struggle for world domination. 71 00:03:06,889 --> 00:03:10,279 It's winner take all. People cannot be trusted. 72 00:03:10,449 --> 00:03:14,237 - Don't look at me. - I'm looking right at you, big daddy. 73 00:03:15,449 --> 00:03:17,838 - All right, soldier boys. Let's fall out. - Yeah. 74 00:03:18,009 --> 00:03:20,239 - All right, you're gonna look after it? - Yeah, yeah. 75 00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:22,127 - Stay strong. Watch it good. - Yeah. Okay. 76 00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:23,847 - Hey, hey. - Hey. Hey. 77 00:03:24,009 --> 00:03:25,203 Hey. 78 00:03:25,369 --> 00:03:27,929 - Oh, is that a label maker? - Yes, it is. I got it as a gift. 79 00:03:28,089 --> 00:03:30,649 It's a Label Baby Junior. 80 00:03:30,809 --> 00:03:32,640 Love the Label Baby, baby. 81 00:03:33,209 --> 00:03:34,881 You know, those things make great gifts. 82 00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:37,040 I just got one for Tim Whatley for Christmas. 83 00:03:37,689 --> 00:03:40,647 - Tim Whatley? - Yeah. Who sent you that one? 84 00:03:40,809 --> 00:03:42,640 One Tim Whatley. 85 00:03:43,329 --> 00:03:45,126 No. My Tim Whatley? 86 00:03:45,289 --> 00:03:48,759 The same. He sent it as a thank-you for my Super Bowl tickets. 87 00:03:49,049 --> 00:03:51,199 I think this is the same one I gave him. 88 00:03:51,369 --> 00:03:53,724 He recycled this gift. 89 00:03:53,889 --> 00:03:55,288 He's a re-gifter. 90 00:03:56,089 --> 00:04:00,560 Or maybe he liked your gift so much, he decided to get me the same thing. 91 00:04:00,729 --> 00:04:02,321 Perhaps it's an homage. 92 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:04,037 Yeah, perhaps. 93 00:04:04,209 --> 00:04:06,769 Well, how did he react when you gave it to him? 94 00:04:06,929 --> 00:04:11,445 He said, "Oh, a label maker. How about that." 95 00:04:11,609 --> 00:04:14,442 - He repeated the name of the gift? - Yeah. So? 96 00:04:14,609 --> 00:04:17,521 Well, if you repeat the name of the gift, you can't possibly like it. 97 00:04:17,689 --> 00:04:18,883 What do you mean? 98 00:04:19,049 --> 00:04:20,846 Like when someone opens something and goes: 99 00:04:21,009 --> 00:04:23,284 "Oh, tube socks." 100 00:04:23,449 --> 00:04:25,041 - What are you gonna do? - I don't know. 101 00:04:25,209 --> 00:04:27,439 I guess I'll just get invited up to his apartment... 102 00:04:27,609 --> 00:04:30,726 - ... and see if he's got a label maker. - Why did you get him a gift? 103 00:04:30,889 --> 00:04:32,959 He did some dental work for me and didn't charge. 104 00:04:33,129 --> 00:04:34,642 So I got him a Christmas present. 105 00:04:34,809 --> 00:04:37,881 Yeah, well, if you're getting him anything for his birthday, I'm a large. 106 00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:45,520 Well, here we are. This is the place. 107 00:04:47,169 --> 00:04:48,397 You like it? 108 00:04:48,569 --> 00:04:51,367 I love it. This is fantastic. 109 00:04:51,529 --> 00:04:53,918 Look at this couch. Is this velvet? 110 00:04:54,089 --> 00:04:55,283 Are you a velvet fan? 111 00:04:55,449 --> 00:04:56,928 A fan? 112 00:04:57,089 --> 00:05:01,162 I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable. 113 00:05:01,329 --> 00:05:03,763 Look at this. Hardwood floors. 114 00:05:05,129 --> 00:05:07,359 Aren't they great? Oh, Scott, hi. 115 00:05:07,529 --> 00:05:08,723 This is George. 116 00:05:08,889 --> 00:05:10,925 - Nice to meet you. - This is Scott, my roommate. 117 00:05:14,249 --> 00:05:16,683 - Hey. - Here. Check out this view. 118 00:05:16,849 --> 00:05:19,488 If you lean out this window, you can see the river. 119 00:05:23,969 --> 00:05:25,368 So Scott's your roommate, huh? 120 00:05:26,209 --> 00:05:28,723 Yes. I'm sure I've mentioned him. 121 00:05:28,889 --> 00:05:30,641 No, I don't think you mentioned him, no. 122 00:05:31,449 --> 00:05:33,326 He's a great guy. You'll really like him. 123 00:05:33,489 --> 00:05:35,127 I'm sure I will. 124 00:05:36,769 --> 00:05:39,522 - Male roommate. - Yes, a male roommate. 125 00:05:39,689 --> 00:05:42,726 - And this is a problem? - It's a huge problem, Jerry. 126 00:05:42,889 --> 00:05:44,925 The hardest part about having sex with a woman... 127 00:05:45,089 --> 00:05:48,559 ...is getting her to come back to your place. He's already got that. 128 00:05:48,729 --> 00:05:51,687 - Well, maybe he's- - No, believe me, he's not. 129 00:05:51,849 --> 00:05:54,044 - So he's an eligible receiver. - Right. 130 00:05:54,209 --> 00:05:56,120 She's confiding in him about our dates. 131 00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:59,406 You always like the person you talk to about the date more than the date. 132 00:05:59,569 --> 00:06:02,641 It's just a matter of time until they realise, "Hey, we could have sex." 133 00:06:02,809 --> 00:06:03,958 - What's stopping them? - Exactly. 134 00:06:04,129 --> 00:06:06,006 You know how they get animals to reproduce? 135 00:06:06,169 --> 00:06:08,603 They just put them in the same cage. 136 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,439 - What does he look like? - That's the worst part. 137 00:06:11,609 --> 00:06:13,520 He looks just like me. 138 00:06:14,409 --> 00:06:16,639 He looks like you, and he's working from the inside? 139 00:06:16,809 --> 00:06:18,845 I look like me, and I'm working from the outside. 140 00:06:19,009 --> 00:06:21,921 - Who is in the better position? - Not you. 141 00:06:22,089 --> 00:06:23,920 This bizarre Harrad Experiment must end. 142 00:06:24,089 --> 00:06:25,681 We'll take our check, please. 143 00:06:26,409 --> 00:06:29,048 I gotta find a way to work this out. I love that apartment. 144 00:06:29,209 --> 00:06:31,518 It's so cosy. I'm ensconced in velvet. 145 00:06:33,369 --> 00:06:35,166 - If it was socially acceptable- - I know. 146 00:06:35,329 --> 00:06:38,241 You would drape yourself in velvet. 147 00:06:38,409 --> 00:06:39,922 - I've said that before? - Many times. 148 00:06:40,089 --> 00:06:42,000 You love velvet. You wanna live in velvet. 149 00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:44,000 Everything with the velvet. 150 00:06:44,569 --> 00:06:46,207 - Hey. - Hey. 151 00:06:46,369 --> 00:06:47,563 Guess what. 152 00:06:47,729 --> 00:06:50,323 - I saw Newman talking to the super. - So what? 153 00:06:50,489 --> 00:06:52,719 The super has keys to your apartment. 154 00:06:52,889 --> 00:06:54,322 Don't you see what's going on? 155 00:06:54,489 --> 00:06:57,049 Newman is planning a sneak attack. 156 00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:58,801 Oh, maybe he's got no hot water. 157 00:06:58,969 --> 00:07:01,324 Yeah. All right, fine. You sit there and you watch... 158 00:07:01,489 --> 00:07:04,640 ...while Newman takes over the world, but he'd be a horrible leader. 159 00:07:04,809 --> 00:07:07,004 And you know who's gonna suffer? The little people. 160 00:07:07,169 --> 00:07:08,568 You and George. 161 00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:11,368 - Are you through? - All right. Fine. 162 00:07:12,129 --> 00:07:13,562 I talked to Arthur Jobania. 163 00:07:13,729 --> 00:07:16,243 - The Drake's wedding. That's off. - The wedding is off? 164 00:07:16,409 --> 00:07:17,683 - What happened? - The Drake... 165 00:07:17,849 --> 00:07:21,444 ...he found out that the wedding is on the same day as the Super Bowl. 166 00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:22,928 So he wanted to postpone it. 167 00:07:23,089 --> 00:07:27,082 They got in a big argument and... it's over. 168 00:07:30,489 --> 00:07:32,559 The wedding is off. You can go to the Super Bowl. 169 00:07:32,729 --> 00:07:34,845 I can't call Tim and ask for the tickets back. 170 00:07:35,009 --> 00:07:37,079 You just gave them to him two days ago. 171 00:07:37,249 --> 00:07:38,967 He's gotta give you a grace period. 172 00:07:39,129 --> 00:07:43,168 Are you even vaguely familiar with the concept of giving? 173 00:07:43,489 --> 00:07:45,525 There's no grace period. 174 00:07:47,329 --> 00:07:49,206 Well, didn't he re-gift the label maker? 175 00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:51,644 - Possibly. - Well, if he can re-gift... 176 00:07:51,809 --> 00:07:54,004 ...why can't you de-gift? 177 00:07:55,489 --> 00:07:57,844 - You may have a point. - I have a point. I have a point. 178 00:07:59,049 --> 00:08:00,846 - All right, I'll call him. - Yeah. 179 00:08:01,009 --> 00:08:02,681 - What's that? - Oh, it's Risk. 180 00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:04,521 It's a game of world domination... 181 00:08:04,689 --> 00:08:07,442 ...being played by two guys who can barely run their own lives. 182 00:08:10,489 --> 00:08:12,445 Hello, Tim? Yeah, hi, it's Jerry Seinfeld. 183 00:08:12,609 --> 00:08:14,247 Hey, remember those tickets I gave you? 184 00:08:14,409 --> 00:08:16,559 Well, it turns out I can use them. 185 00:08:16,729 --> 00:08:18,924 Oh, you do? I understand. 186 00:08:19,089 --> 00:08:20,841 Okay. Bye. 187 00:08:21,009 --> 00:08:22,840 He already made plans. He can't change them. 188 00:08:23,009 --> 00:08:24,203 Well, they're his tickets. 189 00:08:24,369 --> 00:08:26,803 - He can do what he wants with them. - Thanks. 190 00:08:26,969 --> 00:08:29,529 - I'm heading over to Bonnie's. - What about the roommate? 191 00:08:29,689 --> 00:08:32,157 I gotta try and figure out a way to switch places with him. 192 00:08:32,329 --> 00:08:35,048 It's like a Siegfried & Roy trick. 193 00:08:35,209 --> 00:08:36,688 The pickle breath is a good start. 194 00:08:42,769 --> 00:08:44,999 Hello, Jerry. May I come in? 195 00:08:45,169 --> 00:08:47,000 What do you want? 196 00:08:47,169 --> 00:08:48,727 Nothing. 197 00:08:50,529 --> 00:08:52,565 Just being neighbourly. 198 00:08:52,809 --> 00:08:54,640 You wanna hang out? Shoot the breeze? 199 00:08:54,809 --> 00:08:57,323 I won't let you cheat. You're not getting near that board. 200 00:08:57,489 --> 00:08:59,525 Jerry, I'm a little insulted. 201 00:08:59,689 --> 00:09:02,123 You're not a little anything, Newman. 202 00:09:02,289 --> 00:09:04,200 So just pack it up and move it out of here. 203 00:09:04,369 --> 00:09:06,041 All right. 204 00:09:06,209 --> 00:09:08,564 Oh, by the way, what are you doing for the Super Bowl? 205 00:09:08,729 --> 00:09:10,959 I don't know. Watch it on TV, I guess. Why? 206 00:09:11,129 --> 00:09:13,006 If you watch closely, you just might see me. 207 00:09:13,169 --> 00:09:16,206 I'll be the one waving to the camera from my seat on the 40-yard line. 208 00:09:16,369 --> 00:09:17,961 - You're going to the Super Bowl? - Yes. 209 00:09:18,129 --> 00:09:20,802 A guy on my mail route got a couple tickets and offered me one. 210 00:09:20,969 --> 00:09:22,607 - What's his name? - Tim Whatley. 211 00:09:22,769 --> 00:09:24,088 That's my ticket. 212 00:09:24,249 --> 00:09:26,046 Is it? 213 00:09:26,489 --> 00:09:27,683 Well, if only you'd known... 214 00:09:27,849 --> 00:09:31,808 ...you could have saved some time and given it directly to me. 215 00:09:34,289 --> 00:09:35,927 Newman. 216 00:09:37,609 --> 00:09:39,201 What a movie. Good choice. 217 00:09:39,369 --> 00:09:44,079 - Thank Scott. He recommended it. - Oh, Scott, Scott. 218 00:09:44,249 --> 00:09:45,841 He's really great, isn't he? 219 00:09:46,009 --> 00:09:48,842 - Yes, he is. - Yes, he is. 220 00:09:49,929 --> 00:09:51,885 Let me ask you something. 221 00:09:52,889 --> 00:09:55,198 When you come out of the shower and put your robe on... 222 00:09:55,369 --> 00:09:57,758 ...do you cinch it tight? Are you concerned about that? 223 00:09:57,929 --> 00:10:00,045 George. 224 00:10:00,209 --> 00:10:01,562 Do you hold the neck together... 225 00:10:01,729 --> 00:10:04,607 ...or are you just letting it flap in the breeze? 226 00:10:05,249 --> 00:10:07,763 George, you're being ridiculous. 227 00:10:09,889 --> 00:10:12,357 What's the massage situation? 228 00:10:12,649 --> 00:10:15,288 - What do you mean? - Is there any work being done? 229 00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:19,237 Is there any rubbing, touching, finger manipulation on the other person? 230 00:10:19,409 --> 00:10:21,969 And if so, who is making the request? 231 00:10:22,129 --> 00:10:25,724 George, would you just stop. 232 00:10:27,609 --> 00:10:30,726 Say you go into the bathroom at 2:00 in the morning. 233 00:10:30,969 --> 00:10:34,848 What's the outfit? I mean, are you dressing up, or is it come as you are? 234 00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:38,001 - George, what is wrong with you? - I'll tell you what's wrong. 235 00:10:38,169 --> 00:10:40,399 A grown woman with a male roommate. 236 00:10:40,569 --> 00:10:43,288 It's unnatural. It's an abomination. 237 00:10:44,409 --> 00:10:45,603 - Hey. - Hey. 238 00:10:45,769 --> 00:10:47,202 - How you doing? - I'm good. 239 00:10:47,369 --> 00:10:49,678 Do you need the bathroom? I'm gonna jump in the shower. 240 00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:52,568 No. Just throw my bras out of the way. 241 00:10:55,329 --> 00:10:58,162 Well, this is my building. 242 00:10:58,329 --> 00:11:00,240 Yes, it is. 243 00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:02,604 - This was fun, you know? - Yeah. 244 00:11:04,089 --> 00:11:06,045 So... 245 00:11:06,209 --> 00:11:08,723 ...I guess I'll talk to you. 246 00:11:08,889 --> 00:11:11,119 Aren't you gonna invite me upstairs? 247 00:11:11,289 --> 00:11:13,280 Upstairs? You wanna go upstairs? 248 00:11:13,449 --> 00:11:15,599 I would love to go upstairs. 249 00:11:17,929 --> 00:11:20,397 Elaine, you are something else. 250 00:11:20,569 --> 00:11:22,321 No one could ever put a label on you, huh? 251 00:11:22,489 --> 00:11:23,842 We'll see. 252 00:11:27,129 --> 00:11:29,689 Newman. He's going with Newman. 253 00:11:29,849 --> 00:11:31,521 How does Tim Whatley even know Newman? 254 00:11:31,689 --> 00:11:33,122 Newman's his mailman. 255 00:11:33,289 --> 00:11:35,928 Who goes to the Super Bowl with their mailman? 256 00:11:36,089 --> 00:11:38,398 Who goes anywhere with Newman? 257 00:11:39,329 --> 00:11:42,401 Well, he's merry. 258 00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:44,844 He is merry. I'll give him that. 259 00:11:45,009 --> 00:11:46,408 What's this plant for? 260 00:11:46,569 --> 00:11:49,447 Oh, I had a little tiff with Bonnie about the roommate. 261 00:11:50,329 --> 00:11:52,160 Well, the cactus will smooth things over. 262 00:11:52,689 --> 00:11:54,122 Hey. Guess what. 263 00:11:54,289 --> 00:11:57,918 I'm going to the Super Bowl with Tim Whatley. 264 00:11:58,089 --> 00:11:59,522 - What? - We went out for coffee... 265 00:11:59,689 --> 00:12:02,408 - ... and he offered me a ticket. - But what about the label maker? 266 00:12:03,609 --> 00:12:05,167 Well. 267 00:12:05,329 --> 00:12:07,638 Wait a minute. That's my ticket. You didn't wanna go. 268 00:12:07,809 --> 00:12:09,128 It was totally out of the blue. 269 00:12:09,289 --> 00:12:12,008 We went upstairs to his apartment to look for the label maker- 270 00:12:12,169 --> 00:12:14,319 How? Did you say you had to use the bathroom? 271 00:12:14,489 --> 00:12:17,128 - No. - Then how did you get up there? 272 00:12:17,289 --> 00:12:20,247 - I said, "Do you wanna go upstairs?" - And there's your ticket. 273 00:12:20,409 --> 00:12:22,001 - Well. - What? 274 00:12:22,169 --> 00:12:24,319 That's why you're going to the Super Bowl. 275 00:12:24,489 --> 00:12:27,606 - Why? - You go out with a guy one time. 276 00:12:27,769 --> 00:12:31,284 You ask him to go upstairs like you're Mae West. 277 00:12:31,449 --> 00:12:33,917 Of course he's gonna try and get you alone for the weekend. 278 00:12:34,089 --> 00:12:36,239 You mean just because I asked him to go upstairs... 279 00:12:36,409 --> 00:12:39,765 - ... he thinks he's going downtown? - Obviously. 280 00:12:40,249 --> 00:12:42,638 - You're crazy. - Well, what happened upstairs? 281 00:12:42,809 --> 00:12:44,037 As soon as we walked in... 282 00:12:44,209 --> 00:12:47,042 ...he got a call from one of his patients with an impacted molar... 283 00:12:47,209 --> 00:12:49,677 ...so he had to leave. I didn't look for the label maker. 284 00:12:49,849 --> 00:12:51,999 I don't trust this guy. I think he re-gifted... 285 00:12:52,169 --> 00:12:54,729 ...and then de-gifted. Now he's using an upstairs invite... 286 00:12:54,889 --> 00:12:57,039 ...as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp. 287 00:13:08,209 --> 00:13:09,483 - Hey. - Hey. 288 00:13:09,649 --> 00:13:11,560 - What are you doing? - I'm watching your door. 289 00:13:11,729 --> 00:13:13,640 - My door? - Yeah. From my peephole. 290 00:13:13,809 --> 00:13:15,527 Fisheye. Sees all. 291 00:13:22,329 --> 00:13:25,048 - What was that? - Newman. Open it. Open it. Open. 292 00:13:25,609 --> 00:13:27,247 Damn. 293 00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:30,803 The bedroom. 294 00:13:33,689 --> 00:13:35,247 Get him. 295 00:13:36,009 --> 00:13:40,719 - I see you, Newman. I see you. - I'm taking the Congo as a penalty. 296 00:13:41,489 --> 00:13:43,400 I've got a confession to make. 297 00:13:43,969 --> 00:13:46,961 - What's that? - I've got Super Bowl fever. 298 00:13:47,729 --> 00:13:50,163 - Yeah. Yeah, me too. - Yeah. 299 00:13:52,889 --> 00:13:56,325 - So where are we staying? - Oh, the Ambassador. 300 00:13:58,769 --> 00:14:00,088 Big room? 301 00:14:00,249 --> 00:14:03,605 It's a regular room, but it's right downtown. 302 00:14:03,929 --> 00:14:06,648 - Downtown? - Right downtown. 303 00:14:09,289 --> 00:14:12,201 What do they have there? A couple of beds? 304 00:14:12,369 --> 00:14:15,202 Why? You bringing someone else? 305 00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:17,841 No... 306 00:14:18,009 --> 00:14:20,079 ...but don't you think there should be two beds? 307 00:14:20,249 --> 00:14:22,205 There's two of us. 308 00:14:26,929 --> 00:14:28,681 Oh, a cactus. 309 00:14:28,849 --> 00:14:29,998 They don't need any water... 310 00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:32,729 ...so you don't have to keep taking them to the bathroom. 311 00:14:33,369 --> 00:14:34,643 Well... 312 00:14:35,889 --> 00:14:37,720 ...look who's here. 313 00:14:38,809 --> 00:14:40,322 I asked Scott to move out. 314 00:14:45,209 --> 00:14:47,120 So she kicked him out of the apartment? 315 00:14:47,289 --> 00:14:49,007 That's right. 316 00:14:49,169 --> 00:14:51,364 It's just me and her. 317 00:14:51,529 --> 00:14:53,645 She rearranged her whole life for you. 318 00:14:54,849 --> 00:14:56,840 Yeah, I guess she did. 319 00:14:57,369 --> 00:14:59,439 He's gone. Now I'm the man. 320 00:14:59,609 --> 00:15:01,645 That's not a good role for you. 321 00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:03,443 No, it's not. 322 00:15:03,609 --> 00:15:05,804 You unwittingly made a major commitment. 323 00:15:05,969 --> 00:15:07,448 That's a lot of pressure. 324 00:15:08,009 --> 00:15:09,727 Oh, my God. 325 00:15:10,609 --> 00:15:12,565 You wanted to be ensconced in velvet. 326 00:15:12,729 --> 00:15:14,481 You're buried. 327 00:15:15,089 --> 00:15:18,001 I had the perfect situation here. He was shouldering half the load. 328 00:15:18,169 --> 00:15:21,366 - He was shouldering. - I couldn't leave well enough alone. 329 00:15:21,529 --> 00:15:22,882 Where you going? 330 00:15:23,049 --> 00:15:26,246 I gotta go help tape up all his boxes and get them ready for shipping. 331 00:15:26,409 --> 00:15:28,365 Well, here. Take Whatley's label maker. 332 00:15:28,529 --> 00:15:30,804 - I don't wanna see it again. - Thanks. 333 00:15:32,569 --> 00:15:35,003 Yeah. I am taking over South America... 334 00:15:35,169 --> 00:15:37,160 ...and there ain't nothing you can do about it. 335 00:15:37,329 --> 00:15:39,445 Too bad about that Super Bowl ticket, huh, Newman? 336 00:15:39,609 --> 00:15:42,328 Yeah. I just hope Tim Whatley's electric bills... 337 00:15:42,489 --> 00:15:45,128 ...don't suddenly get lost in the mail... 338 00:15:45,289 --> 00:15:48,406 ...or it could be lights out for him. 339 00:15:48,569 --> 00:15:50,321 Okay. Thanks for having me over, guys. 340 00:15:50,489 --> 00:15:52,207 Yeah. 341 00:15:53,649 --> 00:15:55,924 - All right, I'll see you later. - Oh, hey, Jerry. 342 00:15:56,569 --> 00:15:58,924 Tim Whatley. Out scalping? 343 00:15:59,089 --> 00:16:01,523 See, now, I've been thinking a lot about what happened. 344 00:16:01,689 --> 00:16:04,249 I feel horrible. Listen, I wanna give you a ticket back. 345 00:16:04,409 --> 00:16:06,923 - Are you serious? What about Elaine? - Oh, Elaine, yeah. 346 00:16:07,089 --> 00:16:10,240 Well, things just didn't work out like I thought they would. 347 00:16:11,129 --> 00:16:13,689 Hey, isn't this Kramer's car? 348 00:16:13,849 --> 00:16:17,683 Hey, Cosmo! They're towing your car. 349 00:16:18,169 --> 00:16:20,080 What? 350 00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:23,600 Not my car! 351 00:16:25,849 --> 00:16:28,602 They're towing my car. 352 00:16:29,849 --> 00:16:32,727 - What are you doing? - I'm taking the board with me. 353 00:16:34,849 --> 00:16:36,646 Hey. 354 00:16:38,689 --> 00:16:40,407 Hey! Hey, wait! 355 00:16:42,489 --> 00:16:43,717 Wait! 356 00:16:43,889 --> 00:16:46,483 Hey, wait a minute! 357 00:16:46,649 --> 00:16:47,877 Hey! 358 00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:50,517 - So I guess I'll see you at the game. - Yeah, see you there. 359 00:16:50,689 --> 00:16:52,566 Okay. Good. 360 00:16:56,329 --> 00:16:58,160 Hi, George. 361 00:16:59,649 --> 00:17:00,843 Where-? 362 00:17:01,009 --> 00:17:03,887 What happened? Where's-? Where's all the stuff? 363 00:17:04,049 --> 00:17:05,960 It's gone. It was all his. 364 00:17:06,969 --> 00:17:08,368 Is this a label maker? 365 00:17:08,529 --> 00:17:13,649 But the table, the stereo, the VCR- The velvet couch. Where's the velvet? 366 00:17:13,809 --> 00:17:15,288 They were his. 367 00:17:15,449 --> 00:17:18,839 Besides, we don't need any of those things. 368 00:17:19,009 --> 00:17:21,523 We have each other. 369 00:17:25,809 --> 00:17:28,198 Are you sure you know where the impound yard is? 370 00:17:28,369 --> 00:17:30,166 Oh, stop stalling. Come on. 371 00:17:30,329 --> 00:17:33,321 I- I can't think. There's all this noise. 372 00:17:33,489 --> 00:17:36,765 Or is it because I've built a stronghold around Greenland... 373 00:17:36,929 --> 00:17:39,397 ...I've driven you out of Western Europe... 374 00:17:39,569 --> 00:17:43,357 ...and I've left you teetering on the brink of complete annihilation? 375 00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:46,646 I'm not beaten yet. I still have armies in the Ukraine. 376 00:17:46,809 --> 00:17:49,198 Yeah? The Ukraine. 377 00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:52,088 You know what the Ukraine is? It's a sitting duck. 378 00:17:52,249 --> 00:17:54,001 A road apple, Newman. 379 00:17:54,169 --> 00:17:55,921 The Ukraine is weak. 380 00:17:56,089 --> 00:17:57,522 It's feeble. 381 00:17:57,689 --> 00:18:00,408 I think it's time to put the hurt on the Ukraine. 382 00:18:00,569 --> 00:18:03,766 I come from Ukraine. You not say Ukraine weak. 383 00:18:03,929 --> 00:18:05,442 Yeah, we're playing a game here, pal. 384 00:18:05,609 --> 00:18:09,807 Ukraine is game to you? How about I take your little board and smash! 385 00:18:14,289 --> 00:18:16,200 Hello, Tim. 386 00:18:17,329 --> 00:18:18,921 - Elaine, hi. - Don't worry, Tim. 387 00:18:19,089 --> 00:18:21,683 I didn't come by to yell at you. I didn't come by for that. 388 00:18:21,849 --> 00:18:25,808 I just came by to pick up my label maker. 389 00:18:25,969 --> 00:18:29,757 I gave you a label maker, and now I would like to have it back. 390 00:18:29,929 --> 00:18:30,964 But you gave it to me. 391 00:18:31,129 --> 00:18:33,962 But you gave me a ticket to the Super Bowl. 392 00:18:34,129 --> 00:18:36,085 Hand it over, Whatley. 393 00:18:36,809 --> 00:18:38,003 Okay. 394 00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:41,479 You don't have the label maker, do you? 395 00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:44,001 - No. - I knew it. 396 00:18:44,169 --> 00:18:46,967 - You're a re-gifter. - Oh, yeah. Some gift. 397 00:18:47,129 --> 00:18:49,006 - That thing didn't work at all. - What? 398 00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:51,967 You put a label on something, 10 minutes later it would peel off. 399 00:18:52,129 --> 00:18:54,962 It was the worst gift I ever got. 400 00:18:57,129 --> 00:18:59,768 Well, I bought it for you... 401 00:19:00,409 --> 00:19:03,924 ...because you were so nice to me for not charging me for the dental work. 402 00:19:06,409 --> 00:19:09,048 The way you worked on my filling, you were so- 403 00:19:09,209 --> 00:19:13,999 So gentle and so caring and so sensitive. 404 00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:17,679 Oh, Elaine. 405 00:19:30,649 --> 00:19:32,082 H... 406 00:19:32,249 --> 00:19:33,648 ...G... 407 00:19:33,809 --> 00:19:37,165 ...F. Seat four. 408 00:19:37,329 --> 00:19:42,119 One, two, three- 409 00:19:44,409 --> 00:19:46,240 Hello, Newman. 410 00:19:46,409 --> 00:19:48,479 Hello, Jerry. 411 00:19:48,649 --> 00:19:51,117 Tim couldn't make it. He's in love. 412 00:19:51,849 --> 00:19:54,079 - Isn't that wonderful? - Oh, it's enchanting. 413 00:20:00,089 --> 00:20:02,319 Here's the TV. 414 00:20:02,489 --> 00:20:05,561 I know you wanted to watch the Super Bowl. 415 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:13,804 Do you at least have some towels we could sit on? 416 00:20:13,969 --> 00:20:15,880 It's, like, a four-hour game. 417 00:20:17,249 --> 00:20:21,037 George, Scott's gonna drop by. He said he never got his boxes. 418 00:20:21,529 --> 00:20:23,599 I'll get the towels. 419 00:20:23,769 --> 00:20:28,160 How am I gonna get out of this? Think, Costanza. Think! 420 00:20:30,969 --> 00:20:33,688 - Here we are. - Hey. 421 00:20:34,409 --> 00:20:36,320 Do you know, Bonnie, I- 422 00:20:36,489 --> 00:20:39,128 I just had a pretty wild idea. 423 00:20:39,289 --> 00:20:41,849 - What is it? - Well, I- 424 00:20:42,009 --> 00:20:45,399 I'm not sure how you pronounce it or anything, but I- 425 00:20:45,689 --> 00:20:49,204 I believe it's ménage à trois? 426 00:20:49,369 --> 00:20:51,280 What? 427 00:20:52,089 --> 00:20:53,761 - Hi. - Scott. 428 00:20:53,929 --> 00:20:56,045 Remember what we talked about the other day? 429 00:20:56,209 --> 00:20:58,359 George is into it. 430 00:21:00,569 --> 00:21:02,799 Oh, really? 431 00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:19,484 Great streak of luck I'm having. 432 00:21:19,649 --> 00:21:23,722 First Kramer almost beats me at Risk, but I narrowly escape... 433 00:21:23,889 --> 00:21:26,687 ...and then Tim Whatley gives me this Super Bowl ticket. 434 00:21:26,849 --> 00:21:28,726 Can you move over at all? 435 00:21:28,889 --> 00:21:31,278 And then- Then, just as I'm about to go... 436 00:21:31,449 --> 00:21:36,079 ...these boxes show up at the post office with no labels. 437 00:21:36,449 --> 00:21:39,247 No labels, Jerry. You know what that means? 438 00:21:39,409 --> 00:21:41,525 Freebies! 439 00:21:42,329 --> 00:21:46,322 I got this great mini TV and a VCR. 440 00:21:46,489 --> 00:21:48,241 - It's unbelievable. - An inch. 441 00:21:48,409 --> 00:21:51,207 - Can you move over an inch? - Oh, come on. 442 00:21:56,369 --> 00:21:58,360 Subtitles by SDl Media Group