1 00:00:02,369 --> 00:00:04,166 The worst part about a car breaking down... 2 00:00:05,489 --> 00:00:08,322 ...is you're a guy. Because now you have to get out... 3 00:00:08,489 --> 00:00:11,003 ...and pretend like you know what you're doing. 4 00:00:11,169 --> 00:00:16,163 You gotta go, "All right, honey, I'm gonna go check it out." 5 00:00:16,849 --> 00:00:18,646 Walk around the front, open up the hood. 6 00:00:19,089 --> 00:00:20,602 That's good, it obscures her view. 7 00:00:20,769 --> 00:00:22,919 That's the main reason you want to do that. 8 00:00:23,089 --> 00:00:26,320 You're looking in there, hoping you're going to see something in there... 9 00:00:26,489 --> 00:00:30,004 ...so simple, so obvious, so incredibly easy to fix... 10 00:00:30,169 --> 00:00:31,522 ...even you can handle it. 11 00:00:31,689 --> 00:00:34,601 Like a giant onloff switch turned off. 12 00:00:38,289 --> 00:00:40,280 So you're going out with David Puddy. 13 00:00:40,449 --> 00:00:42,121 Yeah. What, is that a problem? 14 00:00:42,289 --> 00:00:45,122 I think he could've asked me. He's supposed to be a friend of mine. 15 00:00:45,289 --> 00:00:48,599 I guess he figured you wouldn't care. It has been a few years. 16 00:00:48,769 --> 00:00:51,522 Elaine, you always care who an ex-girlfriend dates. 17 00:00:51,689 --> 00:00:53,088 You don't want someone you know... 18 00:00:53,249 --> 00:00:55,160 ...and you don't want someone better than you. 19 00:00:55,329 --> 00:00:57,638 Now, even though the latter is obviously impossible... 20 00:00:57,809 --> 00:01:00,198 - Oh, God. - ... the former still applies. 21 00:01:00,369 --> 00:01:02,644 I don't know, I just can't see you with a mechanic. 22 00:01:02,809 --> 00:01:04,128 Oh, yeah, right, right. 23 00:01:04,289 --> 00:01:06,962 All those mechanics do is work all day with their hands... 24 00:01:07,129 --> 00:01:08,562 ...and their big muscular arms... 25 00:01:08,729 --> 00:01:10,481 ...on machines, and then they come home... 26 00:01:10,649 --> 00:01:13,959 ...dripping with animal sexuality like Stanley Kowalski. 27 00:01:14,129 --> 00:01:16,802 - What a huge turnoff that is. - All right. 28 00:01:20,929 --> 00:01:23,523 Hey, look at that. They got lobster on the menu. 29 00:01:23,689 --> 00:01:25,645 Who would order a lobster here? 30 00:01:25,809 --> 00:01:30,280 I mean, do they bring a lobster in every day hoping, "Today's the day." 31 00:01:31,009 --> 00:01:32,965 So what if they have a lobster? 32 00:01:33,129 --> 00:01:35,962 Suddenly you're a shellfish connoisseur? 33 00:01:36,529 --> 00:01:39,407 I think we really need to be in front of a television set. 34 00:01:39,569 --> 00:01:43,562 You take TV out of this relationship, it is just torture. 35 00:01:45,129 --> 00:01:48,519 So I'm getting an eye job. 36 00:01:48,849 --> 00:01:50,999 An eye job? Ma, you don't need an eye job. 37 00:01:51,169 --> 00:01:53,922 - Georgie, I'm a divorcée. - You're not a divorcée. 38 00:01:54,089 --> 00:01:56,762 You're just separated. You're a "separatée." 39 00:01:56,929 --> 00:01:59,124 - Well, I'm out there, George. - You're not out there. 40 00:01:59,289 --> 00:02:01,280 - I am too. - You're not out there. 41 00:02:01,449 --> 00:02:02,962 You can't be, because I am out there. 42 00:02:03,129 --> 00:02:04,357 And if I see you out there... 43 00:02:04,529 --> 00:02:06,485 ...there's not enough voltage in this world... 44 00:02:06,649 --> 00:02:09,527 ...to electroshock me back into coherence. 45 00:02:11,209 --> 00:02:13,643 Well, anyway, the operation is on Tuesday... 46 00:02:13,809 --> 00:02:17,961 ...and I need you to drive me home because I'll be all drugged up. 47 00:02:18,209 --> 00:02:20,439 Tuesday? I can't do Tuesday. Steinbrenner needs me- 48 00:02:20,609 --> 00:02:23,248 This is the only time the doctor had. 49 00:02:23,409 --> 00:02:26,082 - Kramer, hey! Come on over here. - I gotta go somewhere. 50 00:02:26,249 --> 00:02:28,479 No, you're gonna sit down, you son of a gun. 51 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,640 All right, I'm sitting down. 52 00:02:30,809 --> 00:02:32,481 How are you? 53 00:02:32,849 --> 00:02:37,161 So, Kramer, I'm getting an eye job. 54 00:02:37,329 --> 00:02:38,603 Yeah, good for you. 55 00:02:38,769 --> 00:02:40,839 You have to look your best. You're out there now. 56 00:02:41,009 --> 00:02:42,840 She's not out there. 57 00:02:43,649 --> 00:02:46,800 - So who's your doctor? - Bakersaul. 58 00:02:47,089 --> 00:02:49,284 He's good. He's very good. 59 00:02:49,449 --> 00:02:52,282 He worked on this kid from Guatemala with no nose... 60 00:02:52,449 --> 00:02:54,440 ...turned him into Ricardo Montalban. 61 00:02:54,609 --> 00:02:56,520 Hey, Kramer, what are you doing Tuesday? 62 00:02:56,689 --> 00:02:58,281 Tuesday? 63 00:02:58,849 --> 00:03:00,840 Why doesn't he pick you up after the operation? 64 00:03:01,009 --> 00:03:02,761 He's got the car with the seats you like. 65 00:03:02,929 --> 00:03:04,248 - I don't care. - Yeah, I know. 66 00:03:04,409 --> 00:03:07,879 But I can't drive anybody anywhere until I go down to get my new plates. 67 00:03:08,049 --> 00:03:10,438 - Well, giddyup. - All right. 68 00:03:11,969 --> 00:03:16,326 I'm here to pick up my new plates. My name is Kramer. Cosmo Kramer. 69 00:03:18,129 --> 00:03:19,482 Kramer. 70 00:03:20,249 --> 00:03:21,921 - All right. - All right. 71 00:03:22,089 --> 00:03:25,399 - Sign right here, please. - Okay. 72 00:03:28,369 --> 00:03:29,882 Alrighty. 73 00:03:30,049 --> 00:03:31,277 Thanks. 74 00:03:36,689 --> 00:03:38,839 No, these don't belong to me. I'm not the Assman. 75 00:03:39,009 --> 00:03:40,840 I think there's been a mistake. 76 00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:43,320 - What's your name again? - Cosmo Kramer. 77 00:03:43,729 --> 00:03:47,404 Cosmo Kramer. You are the Assman. 78 00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:50,763 No, I'm not the Assman. 79 00:03:50,929 --> 00:03:55,480 Well, as far as the state of New York is concerned, you are. 80 00:04:10,409 --> 00:04:12,127 How do you feel? 81 00:04:12,369 --> 00:04:14,246 Fine. 82 00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:16,847 Something the matter? 83 00:04:17,009 --> 00:04:18,601 No. 84 00:04:19,529 --> 00:04:20,803 Then what is it? 85 00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:22,967 No, nothing. 86 00:04:28,289 --> 00:04:30,007 Hey. 87 00:04:31,929 --> 00:04:35,399 - I was with David Puddy last night. - Yeah, so? 88 00:04:35,569 --> 00:04:37,400 He did the move. 89 00:04:39,089 --> 00:04:44,038 - What move? - You know, the move. 90 00:04:44,209 --> 00:04:45,927 Wait a second, my move? 91 00:04:46,089 --> 00:04:47,727 David Puddy used my move? 92 00:04:47,889 --> 00:04:49,880 - Yes, yes. - Are you sure? 93 00:04:50,049 --> 00:04:53,962 Jerry, there is no confusing that move with any other move. 94 00:04:54,369 --> 00:04:57,327 I can't believe it. He stole my move. 95 00:04:57,569 --> 00:04:59,082 What else did you tell him? 96 00:04:59,249 --> 00:05:01,319 The two of you must have had quite a little chat. 97 00:05:01,489 --> 00:05:04,686 Oh, it wasn't like that. I didn't even mention you. 98 00:05:04,849 --> 00:05:07,522 We were in the garage. You know how garages are. 99 00:05:07,689 --> 00:05:12,046 They're conducive to sex talk. It's a high-testosterone area. 100 00:05:12,209 --> 00:05:14,518 Because of all the pistons and the lube jobs? 101 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:17,249 Well, I'm going to that garage to tell him to stop doing it. 102 00:05:17,409 --> 00:05:20,321 - Well, wait- Wait a second. - What? 103 00:05:20,489 --> 00:05:23,322 Isn't that a little rash? 104 00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:25,764 No, he stole my move. 105 00:05:27,569 --> 00:05:31,084 Yeah, but I like the move. 106 00:05:31,889 --> 00:05:34,722 Yeah, but it's like another comedian stealing my material. 107 00:05:34,889 --> 00:05:36,880 He doesn't even do it exactly the same. 108 00:05:37,049 --> 00:05:41,008 He uses a pinch at the end instead of the swirl. 109 00:05:41,569 --> 00:05:45,960 Oh, yeah, the pinch. I've done the pinch. 110 00:05:46,129 --> 00:05:47,960 That's not new. 111 00:05:48,209 --> 00:05:50,518 I don't know how you can trust any of his moves now. 112 00:05:50,689 --> 00:05:52,964 His whole repertoire could be lifted. 113 00:05:54,449 --> 00:05:57,122 You know, it's strange, because he's such an honest mechanic. 114 00:05:57,289 --> 00:06:00,042 I know, he's probably the only honest mechanic in New York. 115 00:06:00,409 --> 00:06:03,082 So he stole my move, and he's using it on Elaine. 116 00:06:03,249 --> 00:06:05,604 You told David Puddy your move, and you didn't tell me? 117 00:06:05,769 --> 00:06:07,885 I need a move. You know I have no moves, Jerry. 118 00:06:08,049 --> 00:06:10,119 - Give me a bite. - Can I just get it open first? 119 00:06:10,289 --> 00:06:12,280 I can't believe you're hoarding sex moves. 120 00:06:12,449 --> 00:06:15,361 I'm rubbing two sticks together, you're walking around with a Zippo. 121 00:06:15,529 --> 00:06:17,406 All right, all right. Here. 122 00:06:18,249 --> 00:06:19,568 That's good. That's very good. 123 00:06:19,729 --> 00:06:21,447 - You feel better? - Yeah, much better. 124 00:06:21,609 --> 00:06:23,839 So, what's the move? Because I need something. 125 00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:26,728 This woman I'm dating is doing her nails during lovemaking. 126 00:06:26,889 --> 00:06:28,038 - Nancy Klopper? - Yeah. 127 00:06:28,209 --> 00:06:29,801 I've never seen anyone so bored. 128 00:06:29,969 --> 00:06:32,437 I'm working like a dog here. Give me a moan, something. 129 00:06:32,609 --> 00:06:35,726 I'd settle for a belch, for God's sake. Come on, let's have it. 130 00:06:35,889 --> 00:06:38,801 All right, George, I'm gonna tell you. But I just want to make sure- 131 00:06:38,969 --> 00:06:41,278 Yeah, it's in the vault. I'm putting it in the vault. 132 00:06:41,449 --> 00:06:43,041 It's not even a question of that. 133 00:06:43,209 --> 00:06:45,643 The point is, when something like this is passed along... 134 00:06:45,809 --> 00:06:48,960 ...one must be certain that it's going to be used in a conscientious way. 135 00:06:49,129 --> 00:06:51,085 This is not some parlour trick to be used... 136 00:06:51,249 --> 00:06:53,638 - ... pell-mell or willy-nilly. - You gonna tell me or not? 137 00:06:54,049 --> 00:06:55,641 All right. 138 00:06:55,809 --> 00:06:58,277 On your bed, you got a headboard? You'll need a headboard. 139 00:06:58,449 --> 00:06:59,438 I got a headboard. 140 00:06:59,609 --> 00:07:00,724 - Is it padded? - No. 141 00:07:00,889 --> 00:07:02,447 Good. 142 00:07:02,769 --> 00:07:05,681 - How tall is she? - Five-foot-4, why? 143 00:07:05,849 --> 00:07:08,647 You can't have more than a 1 foot differential in your heights. 144 00:07:08,809 --> 00:07:11,277 Otherwise you could really hurt your neck. 145 00:07:11,489 --> 00:07:13,480 I can't tell you how much I appreciate this. 146 00:07:13,649 --> 00:07:16,846 George, if you can master this, you'll never be alone again. 147 00:07:20,049 --> 00:07:23,041 Now the end is kind of an option. I use the swirl. 148 00:07:23,209 --> 00:07:25,848 I like the swirl. I'm comfortable with the swirl. 149 00:07:26,009 --> 00:07:28,842 I feel the swirl is a great capper. 150 00:07:29,009 --> 00:07:32,160 He uses the pinch, which I find a little presumptuous. 151 00:07:32,329 --> 00:07:35,480 - Is it a clockwise swirl? - I prefer clockwise. 152 00:07:35,649 --> 00:07:37,640 But it's not written in stone. 153 00:07:41,769 --> 00:07:43,725 There you go, buddy. 154 00:07:44,849 --> 00:07:48,637 - What is it? - It's fusilli Jerry. 155 00:07:51,089 --> 00:07:53,398 It's made from fusilli pasta. 156 00:07:53,569 --> 00:07:54,843 See the microphone? 157 00:07:55,009 --> 00:07:57,728 - When did you do this? - In my spare time. 158 00:07:59,249 --> 00:08:01,479 I'm working on one of you, George. I'm using ravioli. 159 00:08:03,329 --> 00:08:07,800 See, the hard part is to find a pasta that captures the individual. 160 00:08:08,129 --> 00:08:11,439 - Why fusilli? - Because you're silly. 161 00:08:13,169 --> 00:08:14,648 Get it? 162 00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:17,889 - Yeah. - Well, thank you very much. 163 00:08:18,049 --> 00:08:22,247 - So did you get your new plates? - Oh, yeah, I got my new plates. 164 00:08:22,409 --> 00:08:23,398 But they mixed them up. 165 00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:25,719 Somebody got mine, and I got their vanity plates. 166 00:08:26,009 --> 00:08:28,842 - What do they say? - "Assman." 167 00:08:30,049 --> 00:08:31,323 - Assman? - Yeah, Assman, Jerry. 168 00:08:31,489 --> 00:08:34,561 I'm Cosmo Kramer, the Assman. 169 00:08:35,569 --> 00:08:37,958 Who would order a license plate that says Assman? 170 00:08:38,449 --> 00:08:40,485 Maybe they're Wilt Chamberlain's. 171 00:08:42,329 --> 00:08:44,559 It doesn't have to be someone who gets lots of woman. 172 00:08:44,729 --> 00:08:46,924 It could be just some guy with a big ass. 173 00:08:47,089 --> 00:08:50,365 - Yeah, or it could be a proctologist. - Yeah. 174 00:08:52,129 --> 00:08:54,438 - Proctologist. - No, come on. 175 00:08:54,609 --> 00:08:56,486 No doctor would put that on his car. 176 00:08:56,649 --> 00:08:59,447 Have you ever met a proctologist? 177 00:09:00,009 --> 00:09:02,443 Well, they usually have a very good sense of humour. 178 00:09:02,609 --> 00:09:05,407 You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away. 179 00:09:05,569 --> 00:09:08,800 Plant yourself there. You will hear the funniest stories you've ever heard. 180 00:09:09,369 --> 00:09:13,806 See, no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there. 181 00:09:14,289 --> 00:09:16,120 Never. It's always an accident. 182 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,564 Every proctologist's story ends in the same way: 183 00:09:18,729 --> 00:09:22,039 "It was a million-1 shot, doc. Million-1." 184 00:09:22,689 --> 00:09:24,441 There's my phone. 185 00:09:26,009 --> 00:09:29,968 - So where you gonna stick this? - I'll tell you where I'd like to stick it. 186 00:09:31,929 --> 00:09:33,760 Hey, David. 187 00:09:33,929 --> 00:09:34,918 Oh, hi, Jerry. 188 00:09:35,089 --> 00:09:37,444 Hey, what's the story? I hear you're doing my move. 189 00:09:37,769 --> 00:09:38,758 What move? 190 00:09:38,929 --> 00:09:40,885 What move? My move. The one I told you about. 191 00:09:41,049 --> 00:09:42,368 You used it on Elaine. 192 00:09:42,529 --> 00:09:44,997 What, are you kidding? I was doing that before I knew you. 193 00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:48,047 - All you told me about was the end. - The ending is the whole thing. 194 00:09:48,209 --> 00:09:50,723 Without the ending, it's nothing. You had nothing. 195 00:09:50,889 --> 00:09:53,881 That ending was so obvious. I would've figured that out anyway. 196 00:09:54,049 --> 00:09:55,960 Didn't need you to tell me that stupid twist. 197 00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:57,562 - Twirl. - Whatever, I don't do it. 198 00:09:57,729 --> 00:10:00,038 - Yeah, I know. You do the pinch. - Yeah. That's right. 199 00:10:00,209 --> 00:10:03,042 You can't come up with your own stuff, so you steal other people's? 200 00:10:03,209 --> 00:10:04,358 You're nothing but a hack. 201 00:10:04,649 --> 00:10:07,083 Are you through, because I've gotta get back to work. 202 00:10:07,249 --> 00:10:08,364 I'll tell you what I'll do. 203 00:10:08,529 --> 00:10:11,726 If you wanna do it out of town, okay. But not in the city. 204 00:10:12,009 --> 00:10:14,762 The next time your car breaks down, take that out of town. 205 00:10:14,929 --> 00:10:16,681 - Fine. - Good. 206 00:10:34,169 --> 00:10:35,363 George! 207 00:10:37,049 --> 00:10:38,402 What are you doing? 208 00:10:41,569 --> 00:10:43,082 I'm... 209 00:10:43,249 --> 00:10:44,762 ...you know... 210 00:10:45,409 --> 00:10:46,683 ...pleasuring you. 211 00:10:47,409 --> 00:10:49,320 Well, stop it. 212 00:10:50,609 --> 00:10:53,681 - You don't like the move? - No, I don't. 213 00:10:53,969 --> 00:10:56,483 - You're kidding. - No, I'm not. 214 00:10:56,649 --> 00:11:00,164 It feels like aliens poking at my body. 215 00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,562 Sorry. 216 00:11:04,249 --> 00:11:07,161 I'll just go back to my usual routine. 217 00:11:10,009 --> 00:11:13,126 Oh, God. Oh, God, Dave! 218 00:11:13,289 --> 00:11:14,608 Oh, yes, yes. 219 00:11:14,769 --> 00:11:16,521 - I'm sorry. - What? 220 00:11:16,689 --> 00:11:18,645 I can't do the move. 221 00:11:18,809 --> 00:11:21,084 - What? - He's ruined it for me. 222 00:11:21,929 --> 00:11:25,239 - Oh, come on. Please? - No, he called me a hack. 223 00:11:25,409 --> 00:11:27,001 I'm just not into doing it anymore. 224 00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:29,881 So that's it? 225 00:11:31,249 --> 00:11:33,399 I'll come up with some new stuff. 226 00:11:39,569 --> 00:11:44,120 "Ca/ me. 36-24-46. I think I have what you're /ooking for." 227 00:11:52,289 --> 00:11:55,042 I must caution you about one thing: 228 00:11:55,209 --> 00:11:58,440 You can't cry for at least 10 days. You can ruin the operation. 229 00:11:58,609 --> 00:12:00,520 Oh, okay. 230 00:12:00,689 --> 00:12:02,805 Now, is someone coming to pick you up? 231 00:12:02,969 --> 00:12:07,247 Yes, my son's friend should be here any minute. 232 00:12:16,289 --> 00:12:20,441 - Can I help you? - Yeah, Dr. Cosmo Kramer. Proctology. 233 00:12:22,129 --> 00:12:25,360 - Okay. Sure, doctor. - Thanks. Have a good day. 234 00:12:30,289 --> 00:12:32,564 I just can't get over how fantastic you look. 235 00:12:32,729 --> 00:12:34,401 - Oh, really? - Oh, yeah. 236 00:12:34,569 --> 00:12:36,366 This takes 20 years off. 237 00:12:36,529 --> 00:12:40,204 And it was all done by laser. I don't even need bandages. 238 00:12:40,369 --> 00:12:43,122 Yo, Assman. Look at the Assman. 239 00:12:43,289 --> 00:12:45,484 - Did he say, "Assman"? - Yeah. 240 00:12:45,649 --> 00:12:48,038 Oh, my goodness. 241 00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:51,727 - Hey, the Assman's in town. - You got that straight. 242 00:12:52,049 --> 00:12:55,564 Boy, I never dreamed it could make such a difference. 243 00:13:10,169 --> 00:13:12,524 Well, you must have done something wrong. 244 00:13:13,169 --> 00:13:16,525 You probably screwed up the order. Did you close with the swirl? 245 00:13:16,689 --> 00:13:18,839 You're supposed to close with the swirl? 246 00:13:19,169 --> 00:13:22,559 Oh, my God. Yes, you close with the swirl. 247 00:13:22,729 --> 00:13:25,801 There's a progression there. I told you to write it down. 248 00:13:25,969 --> 00:13:29,086 Yeah, yeah. Should've written it down. 249 00:13:30,729 --> 00:13:31,718 - Yeah? - E/aine. 250 00:13:31,889 --> 00:13:32,878 All right. 251 00:13:33,329 --> 00:13:35,365 Do me a favour. Don't even do the move anymore. 252 00:13:35,529 --> 00:13:37,326 You're gonna give it a bad name. 253 00:13:38,169 --> 00:13:39,397 Hello. 254 00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:41,480 Yeah, this is Jerry Seinfeld. 255 00:13:41,849 --> 00:13:45,319 What? $2800? 256 00:13:45,489 --> 00:13:47,480 That's the estimate on my car? 257 00:13:47,649 --> 00:13:50,117 No, don't even do anything. 258 00:13:50,289 --> 00:13:53,247 I'm gonna think about it. Okay, bye. 259 00:13:53,409 --> 00:13:56,367 What's to think about? Puddy's not gonna cheat you. 260 00:13:56,529 --> 00:13:58,679 - Except it's not Puddy. - What happened to Puddy? 261 00:13:58,849 --> 00:14:01,443 We had a fight about the move. I took it to this other place. 262 00:14:01,609 --> 00:14:05,124 - I think they're trying to screw me. - Of course they're trying to screw you. 263 00:14:05,289 --> 00:14:07,519 That's what they do. They can make up anything. 264 00:14:07,689 --> 00:14:08,678 Nobody knows. 265 00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:11,522 "By the way, you need a new Johnson rod in here." 266 00:14:11,689 --> 00:14:15,159 "Oh, Johnson rod? Yeah, well, better put one of those on." 267 00:14:17,369 --> 00:14:20,327 - Hey, Elaine. - Yeah, yeah, hello. 268 00:14:20,489 --> 00:14:23,242 - Was it something I said? - Yes, as a matter of fact. 269 00:14:23,409 --> 00:14:25,559 David Puddy won't do the move anymore. 270 00:14:26,089 --> 00:14:27,078 Really? 271 00:14:27,249 --> 00:14:30,605 He's come up with some other move. You should see this thing. 272 00:14:31,369 --> 00:14:34,839 - What is it? - It's a lot of just fancy stuff. 273 00:14:35,009 --> 00:14:36,044 You know what it's like? 274 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:40,487 It's like big-budget movie with a story that goes nowhere. 275 00:14:42,569 --> 00:14:46,005 I mean, this move is no good, Jerry. It's just taking up a lot of my time. 276 00:14:46,169 --> 00:14:51,448 And I will not stand by and allow him to perform this move on me... 277 00:14:51,609 --> 00:14:55,318 ...while a perfectly good move is just sitting in the barn doing nothing. 278 00:14:57,089 --> 00:15:00,206 Let me ask you a question. This new move... 279 00:15:00,569 --> 00:15:02,764 ...is there a knuckle involved in any way? 280 00:15:04,049 --> 00:15:06,244 Yes. Yes, as a matter of fact there is. 281 00:15:06,929 --> 00:15:08,885 I think that's mine. 282 00:15:10,489 --> 00:15:12,445 I'm not surprised. 283 00:15:13,729 --> 00:15:15,606 Listen, I need you to do me a favour. 284 00:15:15,769 --> 00:15:17,566 When's the next time you're gonna see him? 285 00:15:17,729 --> 00:15:20,084 - Why? - Get an estimate on my car from him. 286 00:15:20,249 --> 00:15:21,728 This garage is trying to screw me. 287 00:15:21,889 --> 00:15:24,278 An estimate? How am I supposed to do that? 288 00:15:24,449 --> 00:15:26,758 Look, here's the work order with everything that broke. 289 00:15:26,929 --> 00:15:30,285 Just kind of bring it up at the right time and find out. 290 00:15:30,849 --> 00:15:33,079 What? What is this? 291 00:15:33,369 --> 00:15:36,679 That's fusilli Jerry. 292 00:15:37,009 --> 00:15:39,648 - Fusilli Jerry? - Yeah, Kramer made it. 293 00:15:40,009 --> 00:15:42,842 - All right, listen, I'll see you guys later. - All right. 294 00:15:43,129 --> 00:15:45,848 - Hey, Assman. - Hey. 295 00:15:48,449 --> 00:15:50,440 - Well, this is Sally. - Hello. 296 00:15:50,609 --> 00:15:51,724 - Hi. - Hi. 297 00:15:51,889 --> 00:15:53,959 - Shall we go? All right. - Okay. 298 00:16:02,769 --> 00:16:05,727 You can't face the fact that I'm improving myself. 299 00:16:06,129 --> 00:16:08,040 You're not the only one improving yourself. 300 00:16:08,209 --> 00:16:10,245 I worked out with a dumbbell yesterday. 301 00:16:10,409 --> 00:16:11,888 I feel vigorous. 302 00:16:12,849 --> 00:16:16,285 Just take your mail and go home. I have things to do. 303 00:16:16,449 --> 00:16:18,280 I got things to do too. 304 00:16:18,449 --> 00:16:21,759 Don't upset me. I can't cry! 305 00:16:23,249 --> 00:16:26,082 Getting an eye job like some Manhattanite, huh? 306 00:16:26,409 --> 00:16:29,446 Well, it's already working. Kramer made a pass at me. 307 00:16:29,609 --> 00:16:31,998 Kramer made a pass at you? You're crazy. 308 00:16:32,169 --> 00:16:35,798 I'm not crazy. He stopped short and made a grab. 309 00:16:35,969 --> 00:16:38,927 He stopped short? That's my move. 310 00:16:39,929 --> 00:16:41,408 I'm gonna kill him. 311 00:16:47,569 --> 00:16:50,925 - Hey, let me ask you a question. - Sure. 312 00:16:51,809 --> 00:16:53,527 What do you charge for blown shocks? 313 00:16:53,689 --> 00:16:56,886 - What? - Two- 300? 314 00:16:57,329 --> 00:16:59,684 I don't know, maybe 500. 315 00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:11,720 - What about a bad gasket? - Bad gasket? 316 00:17:11,889 --> 00:17:14,847 Yeah, like a terrible gasket. 317 00:17:16,089 --> 00:17:18,125 - What is all this? - Nothing, nothing. 318 00:17:18,289 --> 00:17:22,123 I'm just taking an interest in what you do. 319 00:17:22,889 --> 00:17:24,163 What kind of car is it? 320 00:17:26,169 --> 00:17:29,605 Any kind of a Swedish car. 321 00:17:30,009 --> 00:17:31,965 All together that could run about 1600. 322 00:17:35,529 --> 00:17:37,599 Is that with the parts and labour? 323 00:17:41,609 --> 00:17:44,362 No. Dave, no, please. Not the knuckle. 324 00:17:48,369 --> 00:17:50,166 Well... 325 00:17:51,049 --> 00:17:54,564 ...that was great. 326 00:17:54,769 --> 00:17:56,521 I mean... 327 00:17:59,289 --> 00:18:00,768 It just came to me. 328 00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:08,281 I've never in my life- I've- What was that? 329 00:18:08,809 --> 00:18:11,004 You mean in the end? 330 00:18:11,569 --> 00:18:14,083 A counterclockwise swirl. 331 00:18:15,169 --> 00:18:16,238 - What's that? - What? 332 00:18:16,409 --> 00:18:19,082 - On your hand? Let me see. - Nothing. I don't know. It's a mole. 333 00:18:19,249 --> 00:18:20,682 - Let me see. - Just a little dirt. 334 00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:23,079 I wanna see what's on your hand. Give me your hand. 335 00:18:23,249 --> 00:18:25,205 "Number one, take her leg-" 336 00:18:25,369 --> 00:18:30,602 Oh, my God. Crib notes? You've got crib notes? 337 00:18:30,769 --> 00:18:35,240 It's a very complicated move. I couldn't remember it all. 338 00:18:35,409 --> 00:18:37,206 Oh, my God, you're sick. 339 00:18:37,849 --> 00:18:40,522 You know, it's not the SATs. 340 00:18:49,489 --> 00:18:53,038 Assman? I'll give him Assman! 341 00:18:55,889 --> 00:18:58,357 Sixteen hundred dollars? That's all? 342 00:18:58,529 --> 00:19:00,281 They are ripping me off. 343 00:19:00,449 --> 00:19:03,168 - So, what are you gonna do? - That's it. I'm going back to Puddy. 344 00:19:03,329 --> 00:19:04,648 No move is worth this. 345 00:19:04,809 --> 00:19:06,606 You don't care if he does the move anymore? 346 00:19:06,769 --> 00:19:09,488 Are you kidding? He could do every move I've ever done. 347 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:13,528 Do you know what a good mechanic is worth? You can't compare that to sex. 348 00:19:15,489 --> 00:19:17,957 - Hi, Mr. Costanza, what's-? - Where's your friend, Kramer? 349 00:19:18,129 --> 00:19:20,359 - I don't know, why? - I'm looking for him, that's why. 350 00:19:20,529 --> 00:19:22,520 - He stopped short. - What do you mean? 351 00:19:22,969 --> 00:19:24,721 In the car with my wife. He stopped short. 352 00:19:24,889 --> 00:19:26,607 You think I don't know what that's about? 353 00:19:26,769 --> 00:19:29,203 That's my own move. I used it on Estelle 40 years ago. 354 00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:32,088 I told everybody about it. Everybody knows... 355 00:19:32,249 --> 00:19:34,205 ...I stop short. 356 00:19:34,369 --> 00:19:37,566 Really? Stopping short? That's a good move. 357 00:19:37,729 --> 00:19:40,004 You're not kidding it's a good move. 358 00:19:40,169 --> 00:19:41,568 - Hey. - Hey, Frank. 359 00:19:41,729 --> 00:19:45,005 Don't "Frank"me. I know what you did. How dare you stop short with my wife? 360 00:19:45,169 --> 00:19:47,967 Come on, Frank, relax. I don't know what you're talking about. 361 00:19:48,129 --> 00:19:51,121 You think I don't know, Assman? 362 00:19:51,609 --> 00:19:54,248 To think I almost split the profits on the Mansiere with you. 363 00:19:54,409 --> 00:19:55,558 - Bro. - Mansiere! 364 00:19:55,729 --> 00:19:57,162 - Bro! - Mansiere! 365 00:20:03,409 --> 00:20:05,969 Oh, my God. 366 00:20:13,169 --> 00:20:15,444 If I wasn't there, I wouldn't have believed it. 367 00:20:15,609 --> 00:20:17,440 Me either. 368 00:20:17,849 --> 00:20:20,522 They say this guy's the best. 369 00:20:21,849 --> 00:20:24,044 He had to use corkscrew pasta. 370 00:20:33,529 --> 00:20:35,485 Jerry, Jerry, come here. Take a look at this. 371 00:20:36,209 --> 00:20:38,279 The name on the boat. Look at it. 372 00:20:38,849 --> 00:20:41,158 - Assman! - Yeah, he's the Assman. 373 00:20:41,329 --> 00:20:43,001 Jerry, he's the Assman. 374 00:20:43,169 --> 00:20:45,603 - Which one is the son? - I am. 375 00:20:45,769 --> 00:20:46,918 I'm Dr. Cooperman. 376 00:20:47,089 --> 00:20:52,004 I just want you to know that this won't take long and he's going to be fine. 377 00:20:52,489 --> 00:20:57,643 Excuse me, you didn't by any chance recently get the wrong license plates? 378 00:20:57,809 --> 00:21:01,597 Yes, I'm still waiting for the Motor Vehicle Bureau to straighten it out. 379 00:21:01,769 --> 00:21:04,124 So you're the Assman. 380 00:21:07,849 --> 00:21:11,683 Mi/ion-1 shot, doc. Mi/ion-1. 381 00:21:23,009 --> 00:21:26,479 Where have you been? You were supposed to fix the stove. 382 00:21:26,649 --> 00:21:28,605 I've been waiting for hours. 383 00:21:28,769 --> 00:21:31,124 I fell on some fusilli. 384 00:21:31,929 --> 00:21:35,444 - Fusilli? - You know, the corkscrew pasta. 385 00:21:35,609 --> 00:21:38,282 It was a fusilli Jerry. 386 00:21:38,449 --> 00:21:41,805 It got stuck in me. I had to go to the proctologist. 387 00:21:41,969 --> 00:21:44,722 The proctologist? Are you okay? 388 00:21:44,889 --> 00:21:47,403 - Yeah. - Oh, I was so worried. 389 00:21:47,569 --> 00:21:49,605 - Ma, don't cry! - Oh, I can't help it! 390 00:21:49,769 --> 00:21:51,725 Ma, your eyes! 391 00:21:56,809 --> 00:21:58,800 Subtitles by SDl Media Group