1 00:00:03,969 --> 00:00:06,199 Monkeys are the end of the line in the pet world. 2 00:00:06,369 --> 00:00:07,882 At that level of pet ownership... 3 00:00:08,049 --> 00:00:11,166 ...have a kid. I mean, come on. I mean, you're so close. 4 00:00:12,249 --> 00:00:15,400 If you need a pet that can roller-skate and smoke cigars... 5 00:00:15,729 --> 00:00:18,038 ...it's time to think about a family. 6 00:00:19,049 --> 00:00:21,927 Monkeys, of course, were the first astronauts, in the '60s... 7 00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:24,683 ...which I'm sure made perfect sense in the monkey brain. 8 00:00:24,849 --> 00:00:27,443 "I feel that is the next logical step for me. 9 00:00:27,609 --> 00:00:30,407 I've been working with the Italian guy and the crank organ... 10 00:00:30,569 --> 00:00:34,687 ...and I think I'm ready to handle the maximum-reentry G-forces." 11 00:00:40,689 --> 00:00:42,680 Take toilet paper, for example. 12 00:00:42,849 --> 00:00:48,128 Do you realize that toilet paper has not changed in my lifetime? 13 00:00:48,289 --> 00:00:51,406 It's just paper on a cardboard roll. That's it. 14 00:00:51,569 --> 00:00:54,447 And in 10,000 years, it will still be exactly the same... 15 00:00:54,609 --> 00:00:57,726 ...because, really, what else can they do? 16 00:00:57,889 --> 00:00:59,686 Yeah, that's true. 17 00:00:59,849 --> 00:01:02,238 There really has been no development in toilet paper. 18 00:01:02,409 --> 00:01:04,639 And, I mean, everything else has changed. 19 00:01:05,329 --> 00:01:09,766 But toilet paper is exactly the same, and will be so until we're dead. 20 00:01:10,689 --> 00:01:12,919 Yeah, you're right, George. 21 00:01:13,089 --> 00:01:14,442 What else can they do? 22 00:01:14,609 --> 00:01:19,364 It's just paper on a roll. That's it, and that's all it will ever be. 23 00:01:20,929 --> 00:01:22,726 You find this interesting, don't you? 24 00:01:22,889 --> 00:01:26,120 Yes. Yes, I do. 25 00:01:34,409 --> 00:01:37,481 Oh, thanks very much. The soup was really good. 26 00:01:40,729 --> 00:01:43,482 - What are you telling him for? - What? 27 00:01:43,649 --> 00:01:46,117 He's the busboy. You think he cares about the soup? 28 00:01:46,289 --> 00:01:48,757 Yeah, why, wouldn't he want the soup to be good? 29 00:01:49,369 --> 00:01:52,202 Elaine, it's all this guy can do to keep from killing himself. 30 00:01:52,769 --> 00:01:54,043 Come on. 31 00:01:54,209 --> 00:01:57,804 You think he's back there with the chef, going, "Hey, they like the soup! 32 00:01:57,969 --> 00:01:59,561 Keep it up." 33 00:01:59,729 --> 00:02:02,163 - Hey, isn't that Alec Berg? - Yeah. 34 00:02:02,329 --> 00:02:04,968 Alec Berg. He's got a good John Houseman name. 35 00:02:05,129 --> 00:02:07,324 - Yeah. - Alec Berg. 36 00:02:07,489 --> 00:02:09,719 Mr. Berg. 37 00:02:09,889 --> 00:02:12,323 I can't stand him. He is so pretentious. 38 00:02:12,489 --> 00:02:14,207 - John Houseman? - No, Alec Berg. 39 00:02:14,369 --> 00:02:16,007 - Elaine! How are you? - Hi! 40 00:02:16,169 --> 00:02:17,443 - Jerry. - Hi, Alec. 41 00:02:17,609 --> 00:02:19,361 - Did you hear about Gary Fogel? - Yeah. 42 00:02:19,529 --> 00:02:21,804 - You gonna go to the funeral Friday? - Yeah, yeah. 43 00:02:21,969 --> 00:02:24,039 Hey, did I see you on TV at the Ranger game? 44 00:02:24,209 --> 00:02:27,519 - Those your seats behind the glass? - Those are them. Season tickets. 45 00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:31,648 Unfortunately, I can't go tonight. They're available, if you'd like them. 46 00:02:31,809 --> 00:02:33,083 I'd love to. Are you sure? 47 00:02:33,249 --> 00:02:35,558 Sure. Call my secretary. She'll arrange everything. 48 00:02:35,729 --> 00:02:39,563 - Thanks. Thanks a lot. - It's my pleasure. Be good. 49 00:02:39,729 --> 00:02:44,120 I actually might not use them on Friday either, so I'll let you know. 50 00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:45,608 All right. Thanks again. 51 00:02:45,769 --> 00:02:47,043 Thank you very much. 52 00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:48,483 Really, thank you. 53 00:02:53,329 --> 00:02:56,924 Well, what about these nitwits that get on a plane with nothing to read? 54 00:02:57,089 --> 00:02:58,363 - You know who they are? - Who? 55 00:02:58,529 --> 00:03:00,599 These are the people that wanna talk to you. 56 00:03:00,769 --> 00:03:02,999 They got nothing else to do, why not disturb you? 57 00:03:03,169 --> 00:03:05,160 I will never understand people. 58 00:03:05,329 --> 00:03:07,240 They're the worst. 59 00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:11,957 Something's up 60 00:03:12,129 --> 00:03:15,724 There's something in the air 61 00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:18,281 Well, what is with you? 62 00:03:18,489 --> 00:03:19,808 Well... 63 00:03:19,969 --> 00:03:21,687 ...I think this is it. 64 00:03:21,849 --> 00:03:23,248 What's it? 65 00:03:23,409 --> 00:03:26,162 - I saw Siena again. - Siena? 66 00:03:26,769 --> 00:03:28,088 He's dating a crayon. 67 00:03:31,569 --> 00:03:34,322 We discussed toilet paper. 68 00:03:34,929 --> 00:03:36,726 - Toilet paper? - Yep, yep. 69 00:03:36,889 --> 00:03:39,608 I told her how toilet paper hasn't changed in my lifetime... 70 00:03:39,769 --> 00:03:42,158 ...and probably wouldn't for the next 50,000 years... 71 00:03:42,329 --> 00:03:45,207 ...and she was fascinated, fascinated! 72 00:03:45,409 --> 00:03:47,001 - What are you talking about? - Yeah. 73 00:03:47,169 --> 00:03:48,568 - Toilet paper's changed. - Yeah. 74 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,003 - It's softer. - Softer. 75 00:03:50,169 --> 00:03:51,568 - More sheets per roll. - Sheets. 76 00:03:51,729 --> 00:03:53,321 - Wide variety of colours. - Colours. 77 00:03:53,489 --> 00:03:55,207 Okay, fine. Fine! 78 00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:57,485 It's changed! It's not really the point. 79 00:03:58,329 --> 00:04:00,843 Anyway, I'm thinking of making a big move. 80 00:04:01,569 --> 00:04:02,968 What? 81 00:04:03,129 --> 00:04:05,643 I might tell her that I love her. 82 00:04:07,449 --> 00:04:08,768 Oh, my. 83 00:04:09,809 --> 00:04:13,768 I came this close last night, and then I just sort of chickened out. 84 00:04:13,929 --> 00:04:16,682 Well, that's a big move, Georgie boy. 85 00:04:16,849 --> 00:04:18,999 Are you confident in the "I love you"return? 86 00:04:20,169 --> 00:04:21,966 Fifty-fifty. 87 00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:24,643 Because if you don't get that return... 88 00:04:24,809 --> 00:04:27,687 ...that's a pretty big matzo ball hanging out there. 89 00:04:30,409 --> 00:04:33,606 Well, I just gotta say it once. Everybody else gets to say it. 90 00:04:33,769 --> 00:04:35,043 Why can't I say it? 91 00:04:35,489 --> 00:04:37,002 What, you never said it? 92 00:04:37,169 --> 00:04:39,444 Once. To a dog. 93 00:04:40,609 --> 00:04:43,169 He licked himself and left the room. 94 00:04:44,849 --> 00:04:46,680 Well, so it wasn't a total loss. 95 00:04:48,529 --> 00:04:50,759 - Hey. - Hey, I forgot to tell you. 96 00:04:50,929 --> 00:04:53,204 Got tickets to the Rangers-Devils playoff tonight. 97 00:04:53,369 --> 00:04:55,166 Oh, I'm there. 98 00:04:56,369 --> 00:04:58,963 - What about you, George? - Can't do it, can't do it. 99 00:04:59,129 --> 00:05:00,847 - Sorry. Got a date. - So? So? 100 00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:03,728 No, no, no, if you must know... 101 00:05:03,889 --> 00:05:07,086 ...I would rather be with her than go to the game. 102 00:05:08,089 --> 00:05:11,206 Well, she must be a very special lady, huh, George? 103 00:05:11,369 --> 00:05:13,837 - What do I do with the extra ticket? - Oh, hey! 104 00:05:14,009 --> 00:05:15,362 Can I bring David Puddy? 105 00:05:15,529 --> 00:05:17,406 - He's a big Devils fan. - Fine with me. 106 00:05:17,569 --> 00:05:20,800 Hey, by the way, if anybody wants an inside tour of the zoo... 107 00:05:20,969 --> 00:05:22,846 ...Siena works there as a trainer. 108 00:05:23,009 --> 00:05:25,079 - So she works at the zoo? - Yeah. 109 00:05:25,249 --> 00:05:27,160 Yeah, like Dian Fossey, huh? 110 00:05:27,329 --> 00:05:30,765 She's the only person that's ever been accepted into gorilla society. 111 00:05:30,929 --> 00:05:33,045 And you know, once those gorillas accept you... 112 00:05:33,209 --> 00:05:35,882 ...you got it made in the shade. 113 00:05:36,969 --> 00:05:39,244 So how long have you been a Devils fan? 114 00:05:39,409 --> 00:05:42,287 - Since I was a kid. I'm from Jersey. - Yeah? 115 00:05:42,449 --> 00:05:46,761 - We're gonna kick your butts tonight. - Ain't no way, man! 116 00:05:46,929 --> 00:05:48,521 - Yes. - We're primed. 117 00:05:49,289 --> 00:05:52,486 You almost ready? Jerry and Kramer are gonna be here any second. 118 00:05:57,009 --> 00:05:58,681 - What the-? - So, what do you think? 119 00:05:59,409 --> 00:06:01,320 - What is that? - I painted my face. 120 00:06:01,889 --> 00:06:04,119 - You painted your face? - Yeah. 121 00:06:04,649 --> 00:06:08,039 - Why? - Well, you know, support the team. 122 00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:12,878 - Well, you can't walk around like that. - Why not? 123 00:06:13,369 --> 00:06:14,643 Because... 124 00:06:14,809 --> 00:06:16,640 ...it's insane. 125 00:06:16,809 --> 00:06:19,767 You gotta let them know you're out there. This is the playoffs. 126 00:06:26,169 --> 00:06:28,444 - Hey. - Hi. 127 00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:30,640 Dave's... 128 00:06:30,809 --> 00:06:32,322 ...painted his face. 129 00:06:32,489 --> 00:06:35,162 Yeah, yeah, that's cool. You gotta support your team. 130 00:06:35,329 --> 00:06:36,603 - Okay. Ready to go? - Yeah. 131 00:06:36,769 --> 00:06:39,408 Let's get it on! All right! Go Devils! 132 00:06:39,569 --> 00:06:42,242 Go Devils! Let's go, Devils! 133 00:06:49,649 --> 00:06:51,401 You stink, Messier! 134 00:06:51,569 --> 00:06:53,685 We're gonna get you, Messier! 135 00:06:53,849 --> 00:06:55,123 Will you sit down? 136 00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:57,245 Hey, I'm just trying to support the team. 137 00:06:57,409 --> 00:07:00,128 Will you sit down? You're disturbing everybody. Sit down! 138 00:07:00,289 --> 00:07:03,964 Because you're a Rangers fan and you know I'm messing with their heads. 139 00:07:04,129 --> 00:07:06,359 Yeah, Devils goal! 140 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:13,400 Devils goal! Stephane Richer scores from just inside the blue line. 141 00:07:13,569 --> 00:07:15,082 And the Devils- 142 00:07:16,449 --> 00:07:19,361 Well, you know, I could've actually gone tonight. 143 00:07:19,529 --> 00:07:21,167 So why didn't you? 144 00:07:21,329 --> 00:07:24,002 Well, I didn't wanna break our date. 145 00:07:24,169 --> 00:07:26,444 Oh, well... 146 00:07:27,849 --> 00:07:30,238 Because I... 147 00:07:31,969 --> 00:07:33,288 I love you. 148 00:07:33,449 --> 00:07:36,839 You know, I'm hungry. Let's get something to eat. 149 00:07:39,569 --> 00:07:40,843 We took it to you. 150 00:07:41,009 --> 00:07:43,603 You couldn't get it out of your zone. We were aggressive. 151 00:07:43,769 --> 00:07:46,329 - We didn't let you penetrate. - That's enough out of you. 152 00:07:46,489 --> 00:07:49,401 There's still three more games left in this series, my friend... 153 00:07:49,569 --> 00:07:53,323 ...and it's far from being over, very far from being over. 154 00:07:54,409 --> 00:07:57,003 Hey, what are you doing? Watch where you're driving, man! 155 00:07:57,969 --> 00:08:01,120 Don't mess with a Devil, buddy. We're number one. We beat anybody. 156 00:08:01,289 --> 00:08:02,961 We're the Devils! 157 00:08:03,129 --> 00:08:05,199 The Devils! 158 00:08:13,809 --> 00:08:15,083 "I'm hungry. 159 00:08:15,569 --> 00:08:19,323 Let's get something to eat." 160 00:08:21,169 --> 00:08:22,761 Yep. 161 00:08:25,529 --> 00:08:28,487 - Big matzo ball. - Huge matzo ball. 162 00:08:29,489 --> 00:08:32,640 Those damn "I love you"returns. 163 00:08:32,809 --> 00:08:35,243 - Well, it's all over. I slipped up. - You don't know. 164 00:08:35,409 --> 00:08:37,206 You know how fast things deteriorate... 165 00:08:37,369 --> 00:08:39,485 ...when there's an "I love you" out of the bag? 166 00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:42,447 You can't have a relationship where one says, "I love you"... 167 00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:45,806 ...and the other one says, "I'm hungry. Let's get something to eat." 168 00:08:45,969 --> 00:08:48,085 Unless you're married. 169 00:08:50,689 --> 00:08:52,884 She thinks I'm one of these guys that loves her. 170 00:08:53,049 --> 00:08:54,846 Nobody wants somebody that loves them. 171 00:08:55,009 --> 00:08:57,045 - No. People hate that. - You want somebody... 172 00:08:57,209 --> 00:08:59,040 - ... who doesn't like you. - Ideally. 173 00:08:59,209 --> 00:09:02,167 I am never saying "I love you" again unless they say it first. 174 00:09:02,329 --> 00:09:04,160 - Matzo ball soup? - That would be me. 175 00:09:13,489 --> 00:09:16,049 Hey, Jerry, you're a smart guy, right? 176 00:09:16,249 --> 00:09:17,841 - No question about it. - All right. 177 00:09:18,009 --> 00:09:21,081 I was supposed to go on this special tour with George's girlfriend. 178 00:09:21,249 --> 00:09:24,082 - At the zoo? - Yeah. But before I met up with her... 179 00:09:24,249 --> 00:09:26,205 ...I stopped to look at the monkeys... 180 00:09:26,769 --> 00:09:30,603 ...when all of a sudden I am hit in the face with a banana peel. 181 00:09:32,289 --> 00:09:35,122 I turn and look, and there is this monkey... 182 00:09:35,289 --> 00:09:37,564 ...really laughing it up. 183 00:09:37,729 --> 00:09:39,720 Then someone tells me that he did it. 184 00:09:39,889 --> 00:09:42,357 Well, I pick up the banana peel... 185 00:09:42,529 --> 00:09:45,805 ...and I wait for that monkey to turn around, and then I: 186 00:09:47,089 --> 00:09:48,602 I let him have it. 187 00:09:48,769 --> 00:09:51,158 Kramer, you threw a banana peel at a monkey? 188 00:09:51,769 --> 00:09:54,329 Well, he started it! 189 00:09:55,409 --> 00:09:58,128 - It's a monkey, Kramer! - Well, he pushed my buttons. 190 00:09:58,289 --> 00:10:00,484 I couldn't help it, Jerry. 191 00:10:00,649 --> 00:10:02,241 Well, I still think it's wrong. 192 00:10:02,409 --> 00:10:05,162 All right, fine. You take the monkey's side. Go ahead. 193 00:10:05,609 --> 00:10:09,397 - I'm not taking anyone's side. - I know what happened, Jerry. 194 00:10:10,849 --> 00:10:13,409 You call Alec Berg and thank him for the hockey tickets? 195 00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:15,560 - No. - Oh, Jerry, what are you waiting for? 196 00:10:15,729 --> 00:10:19,802 Why am I gonna call? I thanked him five times when he gave them to me. 197 00:10:19,969 --> 00:10:21,960 Call him the next day. It's common courtesy. 198 00:10:22,129 --> 00:10:24,689 No. I'm taking a stand against all this over-thanking. 199 00:10:24,849 --> 00:10:27,807 Jerry, good manners are the glue of society. 200 00:10:27,969 --> 00:10:30,278 If I knew I had to give him 8 million thank-yous... 201 00:10:30,449 --> 00:10:32,405 ...I wouldn't have taken the tickets. 202 00:10:32,609 --> 00:10:35,203 You know what this is gonna do? He'll be upset because you didn't call. 203 00:10:35,369 --> 00:10:37,007 We won't get the tickets for Friday. 204 00:10:37,169 --> 00:10:39,080 - You're out of your mind. - Where you going? 205 00:10:39,249 --> 00:10:41,638 I gotta get a suit cleaned. I have a funeral Friday. 206 00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:43,401 - Who died? - You remember the guy... 207 00:10:43,569 --> 00:10:47,005 ...who pretended he had cancer so I would buy him the toupee? 208 00:10:47,569 --> 00:10:50,606 - So he actually had it? - No, car accident. 209 00:10:53,129 --> 00:10:55,438 He was adjusting his toupee while he was driving... 210 00:10:55,609 --> 00:10:57,918 ...and he lost control of the car. 211 00:11:00,889 --> 00:11:02,845 That poor priest. 212 00:11:03,009 --> 00:11:05,523 He was just visiting from El Salvador. 213 00:11:06,289 --> 00:11:08,359 Now he's gone completely loco. 214 00:11:09,209 --> 00:11:12,007 - The one Puddy screamed at? - Yeah. 215 00:11:12,169 --> 00:11:14,922 He thinks he saw the devil. 216 00:11:15,409 --> 00:11:17,718 He won't leave his room in the church basement. 217 00:11:17,889 --> 00:11:20,847 That's what you get for getting mixed up with a face-painter. 218 00:11:21,009 --> 00:11:24,843 What compels a seemingly normal human to do something like that? 219 00:11:25,449 --> 00:11:27,440 Gotta support the team. 220 00:11:39,489 --> 00:11:41,081 You know, I really hate my clothes. 221 00:11:42,529 --> 00:11:45,487 I open up my closet, there's just nothing. Nothing. 222 00:11:45,649 --> 00:11:48,607 I hate everything I have. I really hate it. 223 00:11:57,489 --> 00:11:59,161 I mean, at this point, it's... 224 00:11:59,329 --> 00:12:02,799 It's like I can wear something three or four times and that's it. 225 00:12:02,969 --> 00:12:05,483 It's getting to be a terrible problem for me. 226 00:12:08,369 --> 00:12:10,007 Hey, Alec. 227 00:12:13,329 --> 00:12:16,366 Did you see that? What kind of a hello was that? 228 00:12:20,369 --> 00:12:21,802 Mr. Kramer, thanks for coming. 229 00:12:21,969 --> 00:12:25,166 So, what did you wanna see me about? 230 00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:28,480 Well, Mr. Kramer, to get right to it... 231 00:12:28,649 --> 00:12:31,641 ...we're having a bit of a problem with Barry. 232 00:12:33,529 --> 00:12:35,520 - Barry? - The chimpanzee. 233 00:12:37,409 --> 00:12:38,762 Well, what's the problem? 234 00:12:38,929 --> 00:12:42,160 Well, he's not functioning the way he normally does. 235 00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:45,799 He seems depressed. He's lost his appetite. 236 00:12:45,969 --> 00:12:49,564 He's even curtailed his autoerotic activities. 237 00:12:51,649 --> 00:12:55,722 And we think this is directly related to the altercation he had with you. 238 00:12:55,889 --> 00:12:57,561 So? So, what do you want me to do? 239 00:12:58,129 --> 00:12:59,482 Well, frankly... 240 00:12:59,649 --> 00:13:02,038 ...we'd like you to apologize. 241 00:13:03,009 --> 00:13:04,965 Well, he started it. 242 00:13:05,769 --> 00:13:08,283 Mr. Kramer, he's an innocent primate. 243 00:13:08,449 --> 00:13:10,360 So am I. 244 00:13:11,649 --> 00:13:14,163 What about my feelings? Don't my feelings count? 245 00:13:14,329 --> 00:13:18,208 Only the poor monkey's important. Everything's done for the monkey. 246 00:13:20,609 --> 00:13:22,281 Look, I'm sorry. I... 247 00:13:22,449 --> 00:13:24,246 Hey, that's okay. 248 00:13:25,009 --> 00:13:27,284 Well, I gotta go feed the marmoset. 249 00:13:27,449 --> 00:13:29,917 You know, George really likes you. 250 00:13:30,489 --> 00:13:31,842 I don't- 251 00:13:32,009 --> 00:13:34,728 Oh, she doesn't hear too well out of her left ear. 252 00:13:37,449 --> 00:13:38,962 Do you think it's possible... 253 00:13:39,129 --> 00:13:42,405 ...that he's mad at me because he didn't get the day-after thank-you? 254 00:13:42,569 --> 00:13:45,447 - Wait. You were at a funeral, right? - Yeah. 255 00:13:45,609 --> 00:13:48,362 Well, people never give a good hello at a funeral. 256 00:13:48,529 --> 00:13:50,281 I mean, they go like this: 257 00:13:53,169 --> 00:13:55,558 - That's the biggest. - That's kind of what he gave me. 258 00:13:55,729 --> 00:13:58,960 Yeah, they can't go, "Hey! You look fabulous!" 259 00:13:59,889 --> 00:14:01,163 - Hey. - Hey. 260 00:14:01,329 --> 00:14:03,365 I just spoke to your girlfriend. 261 00:14:03,969 --> 00:14:07,962 - Girlfriend. Yeah, right. - She asked me to apologize to Barry. 262 00:14:08,129 --> 00:14:10,563 - Barry? - The monkey. 263 00:14:10,729 --> 00:14:12,845 - Well? - Nothing doing. 264 00:14:13,009 --> 00:14:14,283 Jerry, I didn't do anything. 265 00:14:14,449 --> 00:14:16,679 It's the monkey that should be apologizing to me. 266 00:14:16,849 --> 00:14:20,524 - I don't think that's gonna happen. - Well, I'm sorry. 267 00:14:21,329 --> 00:14:23,889 I tried to put the good word in for you with Siena... 268 00:14:24,049 --> 00:14:26,609 ...but I don't think she heard me. You know, left ear. 269 00:14:27,889 --> 00:14:29,880 - What? - Yeah, her boss told me... 270 00:14:30,049 --> 00:14:32,438 ...that she can't hear very well out of her left ear. 271 00:14:32,609 --> 00:14:33,883 What, you didn't know that? 272 00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:36,841 - Oh, my God. - What? 273 00:14:37,489 --> 00:14:41,164 She probably never heard it. Don't you see what this means? 274 00:14:41,329 --> 00:14:43,718 It's like the whole thing never happened. 275 00:14:43,889 --> 00:14:49,168 It's like when Superman reversed the rotation of the Earth to save Lois Lane. 276 00:14:50,609 --> 00:14:52,281 Are you gonna say it again? 277 00:14:54,449 --> 00:14:56,838 That's the question, Jimmy. 278 00:15:05,969 --> 00:15:08,005 - I'm gonna do it. - What? 279 00:15:08,169 --> 00:15:11,047 After what you went through? You said you'd never say it again. 280 00:15:11,209 --> 00:15:15,487 I'd like to say it once to someone that can actually hear it! 281 00:15:15,929 --> 00:15:17,567 - Yeah! - Hey, buddy. 282 00:15:17,729 --> 00:15:20,448 - Boy, what's going on? - He's gonna talk into her other ear. 283 00:15:22,209 --> 00:15:25,201 Listen, I almost forgot to ask you. What happened at the funeral? 284 00:15:25,369 --> 00:15:26,643 Did you talk to Alec Berg? 285 00:15:27,889 --> 00:15:30,801 - Yeah, I saw him. - So he'll give you the hockey tickets? 286 00:15:30,969 --> 00:15:32,766 Well, not exactly. 287 00:15:33,289 --> 00:15:35,245 He's mad, isn't he? See, I knew it. 288 00:15:35,409 --> 00:15:39,004 - I don't know if he's mad. - What happened when you saw him? 289 00:15:39,169 --> 00:15:42,127 I didn't really get a good hello. But I was at a funeral. 290 00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:44,200 So I don't know if I got a funeral hello... 291 00:15:44,369 --> 00:15:46,963 ...or he was mad because he didn't get his day-after thank-you. 292 00:15:47,169 --> 00:15:50,127 - See? I told you, Jerry! I told you! - What do you want me to do? 293 00:15:50,289 --> 00:15:54,601 I want you to get on this phone and give him his thank-you! 294 00:15:55,249 --> 00:15:56,921 No. No, I can't! 295 00:15:57,089 --> 00:16:01,321 Jerry, this is the way society functions. Aren't you a part of society? 296 00:16:01,489 --> 00:16:03,764 Because if you don't wanna be a part of society... 297 00:16:03,929 --> 00:16:08,002 ...why don't you just get in your car and move to the East Side. 298 00:16:10,689 --> 00:16:13,123 Look, we got five hours before the game. 299 00:16:13,289 --> 00:16:15,359 I am betting it was a funeral hello. 300 00:16:15,529 --> 00:16:18,601 We're here. He knows the number. He knows we wanna go. 301 00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:20,839 There's plenty of time for him to call. 302 00:16:21,009 --> 00:16:23,887 You stubborn, stupid, silly man! 303 00:16:26,489 --> 00:16:27,888 Hey, great dip. You make this? 304 00:16:28,049 --> 00:16:29,687 No, it's from the store. 305 00:16:30,609 --> 00:16:34,124 Hey, how come people don't have dip for dinner? Why is it only a snack? 306 00:16:35,889 --> 00:16:38,198 I don't understand stuff like that. 307 00:16:44,369 --> 00:16:46,200 David... 308 00:16:46,569 --> 00:16:49,720 - David, I think we ought to talk. - All right, that's cool. 309 00:16:56,889 --> 00:16:59,323 David, I don't think we should see each other anymore. 310 00:16:59,489 --> 00:17:01,445 You gotta be kidding. How come? 311 00:17:03,609 --> 00:17:05,884 Well, you see, David... 312 00:17:06,049 --> 00:17:08,040 ...you're a face-painter. 313 00:17:08,529 --> 00:17:09,928 Yeah, that's right. 314 00:17:11,609 --> 00:17:14,885 Well, it's not that I don't like you... 315 00:17:15,049 --> 00:17:17,643 ...but, well, to be perfectly honest... 316 00:17:17,809 --> 00:17:21,802 ...I'm just having some trouble getting past the face-painting. 317 00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:25,806 So you don't like the face-painting. I just won't paint it anymore. 318 00:17:26,609 --> 00:17:29,328 Yeah. But you like the face-painting. 319 00:17:29,809 --> 00:17:32,926 Well, I don't need to do it. It's not like a habit or anything. 320 00:17:34,289 --> 00:17:37,008 - You mean you'd stop it for me? - Yeah, that's right. 321 00:17:41,969 --> 00:17:43,561 That's so- 322 00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:46,687 - That's so sweet. - Come here. 323 00:17:49,609 --> 00:17:53,807 I gotta go home and change before the game. I'll be back. We'll make out. 324 00:18:06,369 --> 00:18:09,167 Siena, I love you. 325 00:18:10,129 --> 00:18:12,484 Yeah, I know. I heard you the first time. 326 00:18:13,329 --> 00:18:14,921 Yeah. 327 00:18:15,089 --> 00:18:16,681 Just confirming. 328 00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:24,048 Hello? Oh, hi, Mom. 329 00:18:24,209 --> 00:18:25,961 No, I was expecting somebody else. 330 00:18:26,129 --> 00:18:28,518 I'm sorry, I can't talk, I gotta keep the line clear. 331 00:18:28,689 --> 00:18:33,001 I know I have call waiting, but I don't trust it in an emergency. Goodbye. 332 00:18:35,569 --> 00:18:37,446 Anyway... 333 00:18:37,609 --> 00:18:39,725 ...I just wanna say that I'm sorry. 334 00:18:40,609 --> 00:18:43,077 I lost my temper, and I probably shouldn't have. 335 00:18:43,249 --> 00:18:45,809 I took it out on you and... 336 00:18:45,969 --> 00:18:49,439 Look, if I've caused you any problems as a result of my behaviour... 337 00:18:49,609 --> 00:18:51,565 ...well, then, I'm sorry. 338 00:18:51,729 --> 00:18:53,765 I apologize. 339 00:18:53,969 --> 00:18:56,005 Even though you know, Barry, between me and you... 340 00:18:56,209 --> 00:18:59,645 ...we both know that you started it. I mean, who's kidding who? 341 00:18:59,809 --> 00:19:02,277 But they tell me that you're very upset... 342 00:19:02,449 --> 00:19:05,600 ...and God forbid I should disturb the very important monkey. 343 00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:09,682 I hope we can put this behind us. Let's just move on with our lives. 344 00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:11,123 So no hard feelings? 345 00:19:28,289 --> 00:19:31,247 - What is that? - It's the letter D. 346 00:19:32,609 --> 00:19:35,567 Why is the letter D painted on your chest? 347 00:19:35,729 --> 00:19:38,960 I'm going to the game and me and five guys are taking our shirts off... 348 00:19:39,129 --> 00:19:40,847 ...and spell out "Devils." 349 00:19:41,009 --> 00:19:44,046 - But you said no more painting. - No, I said no more face-painting. 350 00:19:44,209 --> 00:19:47,246 And as you can see, this is not my face. 351 00:19:47,409 --> 00:19:49,320 Yeah, that's right. 352 00:19:53,369 --> 00:19:55,200 Well, did he call? 353 00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:59,282 - No. - Oh, come on, Jerry! This is stupid. 354 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:03,567 It's 6:00! It's all over! Just pick up the phone and thank him! 355 00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:05,919 All right. 356 00:20:11,049 --> 00:20:12,368 Hello, Alec? 357 00:20:12,529 --> 00:20:13,848 Hi, it's Jerry Seinfeld. 358 00:20:14,009 --> 00:20:16,045 You know, you got a great John Houseman name. 359 00:20:16,209 --> 00:20:17,961 Alec Berg. 360 00:20:18,129 --> 00:20:20,962 Did you hand in your assignment, Mr. Berg? 361 00:20:21,129 --> 00:20:22,608 What can I do for you, Jerry? 362 00:20:22,769 --> 00:20:26,284 Well, Alec, the reason I called is I just wanted... 363 00:20:26,449 --> 00:20:28,201 ...to thank you for the tickets. 364 00:20:28,369 --> 00:20:31,566 I wish you'd called earlier. I could've given you tickets for tonight. 365 00:20:31,729 --> 00:20:33,481 - Oh, you already gave them away? - Yeah. 366 00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:35,401 But you know what, I have a friend... 367 00:20:35,569 --> 00:20:37,048 ...he's got a couple of seats. 368 00:20:37,209 --> 00:20:40,007 - You mind the nosebleed section? - We don't care. We wanna go. 369 00:20:40,169 --> 00:20:41,648 There is one little catch, though. 370 00:20:47,929 --> 00:20:51,126 Hey, great game, huh? Let's go, Devils! 371 00:20:53,569 --> 00:20:56,606 All right, let's get it up! Let's get it up! Come on! 372 00:20:57,609 --> 00:20:59,440 Come on, D! D! 373 00:20:59,649 --> 00:21:00,923 - E. - V. 374 00:21:01,129 --> 00:21:02,528 - I! - L! 375 00:21:02,689 --> 00:21:04,361 S! 376 00:21:37,209 --> 00:21:38,483 Hello, Father. 377 00:21:55,409 --> 00:21:57,400 Subtitles by SDl Media Group