1 00:00:10,847 --> 00:00:11,882 - Hey. - Hey. 2 00:00:12,047 --> 00:00:15,437 Big news. The dog problem has been solved. 3 00:00:15,607 --> 00:00:16,596 Really? What happened? 4 00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,678 Well, there's this rabbi in my building- 5 00:00:18,847 --> 00:00:20,724 You've met him. He's a very nice man. 6 00:00:20,887 --> 00:00:23,765 - Is he the one with the show on cable? - Yeah, yeah, that's the one. 7 00:00:23,927 --> 00:00:27,158 So I spoke to him about the dog, he went down, talked to the owner... 8 00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:29,795 ...and she agreed to keep the dog inside from now on. 9 00:00:29,967 --> 00:00:32,401 - That's great. - I know. 10 00:00:47,727 --> 00:00:50,719 - That looks pretty good. - He's in. 11 00:00:53,207 --> 00:00:55,767 Hey, so, you know, we haven't discussed George's engagement. 12 00:00:55,927 --> 00:00:58,964 - What's to discuss? - Come on. George is getting married. 13 00:00:59,127 --> 00:01:00,321 Is he happy? 14 00:01:01,247 --> 00:01:03,636 I will never understand the bathrooms in this country. 15 00:01:03,807 --> 00:01:07,436 Why is it that the stall doors do not come all the way down to the floor? 16 00:01:07,607 --> 00:01:10,326 Maybe it's so you can see if there's someone in there. 17 00:01:10,607 --> 00:01:12,359 Isn't that why we have locks on the doors? 18 00:01:12,527 --> 00:01:15,280 Well, as a backup system, in case the lock is broken... 19 00:01:15,447 --> 00:01:17,199 ...you can see if it's taken. 20 00:01:17,367 --> 00:01:19,437 A backup system? 21 00:01:20,007 --> 00:01:22,316 We're designing bathroom doors with our legs exposed... 22 00:01:22,487 --> 00:01:25,399 ...in anticipation of the locks not working? 23 00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:29,643 That's not a system. That's a complete breakdown of the system. 24 00:01:29,807 --> 00:01:31,684 Can we change the subject, please? 25 00:01:31,847 --> 00:01:34,077 Why, what's wrong with it? This is a bad subject? 26 00:01:34,247 --> 00:01:37,319 No, fine. If you wanna keep talking about it, we'll talk about it. 27 00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:39,718 It's not that I wanna keep talking about it. 28 00:01:39,887 --> 00:01:43,084 I just think the subject should resolve itself based on its own momentum. 29 00:01:43,247 --> 00:01:46,000 Well, I didn't think that it had any momentum. 30 00:01:47,767 --> 00:01:49,359 How am I gonna do this? 31 00:01:49,527 --> 00:01:52,883 I'm engaged to this woman? She doesn't even lik e me. 32 00:01:53,047 --> 00:01:56,005 Change the subject? Toilets were the subject. 33 00:01:56,167 --> 00:01:58,761 We don't even share the same interests. 34 00:02:02,887 --> 00:02:06,960 - Yeah, he seems pretty happy. - Well, that's all that counts, I guess. 35 00:02:08,767 --> 00:02:10,166 What's the matter? 36 00:02:10,327 --> 00:02:12,318 What? Nothing. 37 00:02:13,207 --> 00:02:15,721 You don't seem too enthused about the whole thing. 38 00:02:15,887 --> 00:02:17,559 Well, what do you want me to do? 39 00:02:18,727 --> 00:02:21,195 I thought you'd have some reaction to it. 40 00:02:23,687 --> 00:02:25,359 Well, I don't. 41 00:02:27,127 --> 00:02:28,799 I think maybe you're a little jealous. 42 00:02:28,967 --> 00:02:31,765 Oh, what, you think I wanna marry George? 43 00:02:31,927 --> 00:02:35,078 No, but maybe you wish it was you who was getting married, not him. 44 00:02:35,247 --> 00:02:38,239 Oh, please. That is the last thing that I want. 45 00:02:38,407 --> 00:02:40,398 Oh, yeah. Right. 46 00:02:40,567 --> 00:02:42,000 Yeah, right. 47 00:02:42,167 --> 00:02:45,443 - Laney. - Jerry. 48 00:02:45,607 --> 00:02:47,723 - You don't wanna get married? - Yeah, that's right. 49 00:02:47,887 --> 00:02:49,639 - I don't wanna get married. - Oh, come on. 50 00:02:49,807 --> 00:02:51,399 - Oh, you come on. - It's such- 51 00:02:51,567 --> 00:02:52,556 - Oh, hey. - Hey. 52 00:02:52,727 --> 00:02:56,003 Hey, Elaine, listen, I was talking to a friend about this dog business. 53 00:02:56,167 --> 00:02:59,842 Do you realize this is going to be on our permanent records? 54 00:03:00,007 --> 00:03:01,360 Are you aware of this? 55 00:03:01,847 --> 00:03:03,917 - Oh, dear. - It can never be erased. 56 00:03:04,087 --> 00:03:07,124 It'll follow us wherever we go for the rest of our lives. 57 00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:11,246 I'll never be able to get a job. I mean, doesn't that concern you? 58 00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:14,286 Everything I've worked for, down the drain... 59 00:03:14,447 --> 00:03:16,085 ...because of one stupid mistake. 60 00:03:16,247 --> 00:03:19,045 I mean, aren't we entitled to make one mistake in our lives? 61 00:03:19,207 --> 00:03:20,925 - We gotta change the system. - Yes! 62 00:03:21,087 --> 00:03:23,043 I could care less. 63 00:03:23,447 --> 00:03:26,484 I hope it is on our record. I'm just sorry they didn't lock me up. 64 00:03:37,127 --> 00:03:39,357 - Oh, hello, Rabbi Kursham. - Elaine. 65 00:03:39,527 --> 00:03:41,279 Always a pleasure to see you. 66 00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:44,361 Thanks again for taking care of that dog for us. 67 00:03:44,527 --> 00:03:48,361 Elaine, oftentimes in life there are problems... 68 00:03:48,527 --> 00:03:51,405 ...and just as often there are solutions. 69 00:03:52,087 --> 00:03:53,600 Yeah, yeah, I suppose. 70 00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:58,966 Elaine, you don't seem yourself today. You seem, if I may say, troubled. 71 00:03:59,847 --> 00:04:01,758 No, Rabbi, I'm not myself. 72 00:04:02,327 --> 00:04:05,637 Come upstairs. We'll have a talk. 73 00:04:07,767 --> 00:04:08,995 Hey. 74 00:04:09,167 --> 00:04:10,964 I want your honest opinion about something. 75 00:04:11,127 --> 00:04:14,005 - Have I ever been less than forthright? - No, you haven't. 76 00:04:14,167 --> 00:04:16,522 Well, maybe you have. What do I know? 77 00:04:16,687 --> 00:04:19,360 I probably have. Of course I have. What am I talking about? 78 00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:22,644 Okay, tell me what you think about this idea: 79 00:04:22,807 --> 00:04:26,595 Extend the doors on the toilet stalls at Yankee Stadium... 80 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:27,916 ...all the way to the floor. 81 00:04:28,327 --> 00:04:33,640 Extend the doors on the toilet stalls at Yankee Stadium to the floor? 82 00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:36,002 Door comes down, hides your feet. 83 00:04:36,167 --> 00:04:39,716 - Yes, I like it. I like it a lot. - It's good, right? 84 00:04:39,887 --> 00:04:42,640 I think it's fantastic. I think it's a fantastic idea. 85 00:04:42,807 --> 00:04:44,081 - You do? - Yes, I do. 86 00:04:44,247 --> 00:04:47,523 Well, I told it to Susan before and she didn't like it. 87 00:04:48,207 --> 00:04:50,402 Yeah. Not only that, this is what she said to me: 88 00:04:50,567 --> 00:04:51,886 "Can we change the subject?" 89 00:04:52,047 --> 00:04:53,878 - See, now, that I don't care for. - Right. 90 00:04:54,047 --> 00:04:56,561 I mean, we're on a subject. Why does it have to be changed? 91 00:04:56,727 --> 00:04:58,638 It should resolve of its own volition. 92 00:04:58,807 --> 00:05:01,321 That's exactly what I said, but I used the word "momentum." 93 00:05:01,487 --> 00:05:04,206 - "Momentum,"same thing. - Same thing. 94 00:05:05,047 --> 00:05:07,515 My God, I'm getting married in December. Do you know that? 95 00:05:07,967 --> 00:05:09,446 Yeah, I know. 96 00:05:09,607 --> 00:05:12,041 How am I gonna make December? I need a little more time. 97 00:05:12,207 --> 00:05:13,606 Look at me, I'm a nervous wreck. 98 00:05:13,767 --> 00:05:16,076 My stomach aches. My neck is killing me. I can't turn. 99 00:05:16,247 --> 00:05:18,317 Look, look. 100 00:05:18,487 --> 00:05:21,524 - You're turning. - No, that's not a good turn. 101 00:05:21,687 --> 00:05:23,757 December! December! 102 00:05:23,927 --> 00:05:27,124 Don't you think we should have a little more time to get to know each other? 103 00:05:27,807 --> 00:05:29,843 If you need more time, you should have more time. 104 00:05:30,167 --> 00:05:33,045 - What, you think I could postpone it? - Sure you can. Why not? 105 00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:36,085 - You're allowed to postpone? - I don't see why not. 106 00:05:36,887 --> 00:05:39,117 - So I could do that? - Sure, go ahead. 107 00:05:42,007 --> 00:05:45,317 All right. All right. 108 00:05:45,487 --> 00:05:47,637 I'll tell you what, how about this? I got the date. 109 00:05:47,807 --> 00:05:50,082 March 21 st, the first day of spring. 110 00:05:50,247 --> 00:05:52,715 - Spring, of course. - You know, spring. 111 00:05:52,887 --> 00:05:55,765 Rejuvenation, rebirth, everything's blooming. 112 00:05:55,927 --> 00:05:57,724 All that crap. 113 00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:00,400 Beautiful. 114 00:06:00,607 --> 00:06:03,724 - She's not gonna like it. - No, she's not. 115 00:06:04,887 --> 00:06:07,447 You know, I think I'm a little bit scared of her. 116 00:06:07,727 --> 00:06:11,117 She's 5'3", like 100 pounds, I'm frightened to death of her. 117 00:06:11,727 --> 00:06:15,276 Well, she's a women. They don't like to be disappointed. 118 00:06:15,447 --> 00:06:17,165 Especially her. 119 00:06:17,327 --> 00:06:19,795 She does not like disappointment. 120 00:06:21,327 --> 00:06:22,316 Well, I have to do it. 121 00:06:22,487 --> 00:06:24,557 I can't make December. No way I can make December. 122 00:06:24,727 --> 00:06:26,638 You can see that, right? I mean, look at me. 123 00:06:26,807 --> 00:06:30,482 Can I make December? I can't make December, right? Look! Look! 124 00:06:30,647 --> 00:06:33,241 - Yeah, you'd better shoot for March. - March 21 st. 125 00:06:33,407 --> 00:06:35,523 Hey. So you're gonna back me on this, right? 126 00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:38,485 - Oh, all the way. - You are a good friend. 127 00:06:38,647 --> 00:06:41,525 You know what, even if you killed somebody, I wouldn't turn you in. 128 00:06:43,607 --> 00:06:45,518 Is that so? 129 00:06:45,687 --> 00:06:48,963 Hey, Kramer, if I killed somebody, would you turn me in? 130 00:06:49,687 --> 00:06:51,484 Definitely. 131 00:06:52,327 --> 00:06:54,795 - You're kidding. - No, no, I would turn you in. 132 00:06:56,127 --> 00:06:59,915 - You would turn me in? - I wouldn't even think about it. 133 00:07:00,647 --> 00:07:02,603 You're supposed to be a friend of mine. 134 00:07:02,767 --> 00:07:05,600 Well, what kind of person are you, going around killing people? 135 00:07:05,767 --> 00:07:07,598 Well, I'm sure I had a good reason. 136 00:07:07,767 --> 00:07:10,645 Well, if you killed this person, who's to say I wouldn't be next? 137 00:07:10,807 --> 00:07:13,844 - But you know me. - I thought I did. 138 00:07:17,527 --> 00:07:21,281 I really appreciate your taking time to talk with me, Rabbi. 139 00:07:21,447 --> 00:07:25,042 You know, I'm not of your faith. In fact, I'm not a very religious person. 140 00:07:25,207 --> 00:07:29,678 But I do feel as if I'm in need of some guidance here. 141 00:07:29,847 --> 00:07:32,839 Would you care for a snack of some kind? 142 00:07:33,207 --> 00:07:36,404 I have the SnackWells, which are very popular... 143 00:07:36,567 --> 00:07:40,321 ...although I think sometimes with the so-called fat-free cookies... 144 00:07:40,487 --> 00:07:45,481 ...people may overindulge, forgetting that they may be high in calories. 145 00:07:45,647 --> 00:07:49,356 No. No, thank you. I'm not very hungry. 146 00:07:49,527 --> 00:07:51,518 Anyway... 147 00:07:52,687 --> 00:07:56,077 ...this friend of mine, George, got engaged. 148 00:07:56,247 --> 00:07:58,078 - How wonderful. - Yeah, yeah. 149 00:07:58,247 --> 00:08:02,525 Well, for some reason... 150 00:08:03,687 --> 00:08:06,645 ...well, I find myself just overcome... 151 00:08:06,807 --> 00:08:09,765 ...with feelings of jealousy and resentment. 152 00:08:09,927 --> 00:08:13,317 Doesn't it give you any joy to see your friend... 153 00:08:13,487 --> 00:08:16,365 ...enter into this holiest of unions? 154 00:08:16,527 --> 00:08:18,722 No, no. No, it doesn't. 155 00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:23,041 No joy. No joy whatsoever. It just- The whole thing makes me... 156 00:08:23,207 --> 00:08:24,845 ...sick. 157 00:08:26,167 --> 00:08:27,646 You know, Elaine... 158 00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:31,402 ...very often we cannot see the forest for the trees. 159 00:08:31,567 --> 00:08:33,523 Yeah, I don't know what that means. 160 00:08:34,487 --> 00:08:37,206 Well, for example, say there's a forest- 161 00:08:37,367 --> 00:08:41,519 Yeah, see, the thing is, Rabbi, it should've been me. 162 00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:45,521 You know? I'm smart. I'm attractive. 163 00:08:45,687 --> 00:08:49,202 You know, my temple has many single functions. 164 00:08:49,367 --> 00:08:50,766 Oh, no, that's okay. 165 00:08:50,927 --> 00:08:55,637 My nephew Alex is someone who's also looking. Perhaps I could...? 166 00:08:55,887 --> 00:08:57,366 No, I don't think so. 167 00:08:57,527 --> 00:09:02,078 He owns a flower store. Very successful. 168 00:09:04,087 --> 00:09:05,839 So you're nothing but a stoolie. Admit it. 169 00:09:06,007 --> 00:09:08,885 Hey, don't do the crime if you can't do the time. 170 00:09:09,167 --> 00:09:11,601 - Another caffe latte? - Yeah, you better believe it. 171 00:09:11,767 --> 00:09:15,203 - Since when are you so trendy? - Hey, baby, I set the trends. 172 00:09:15,367 --> 00:09:17,403 Who do you think started this caffe latte thing? 173 00:09:17,567 --> 00:09:19,523 I don't recall you drinking caffe lattes. 174 00:09:19,687 --> 00:09:22,042 I've been drinking caffe lattes since the fifth grade... 175 00:09:22,207 --> 00:09:23,356 ...and haven't looked back. 176 00:09:23,527 --> 00:09:25,882 Look, Plan 9 from Outer Space is playing tomorrow night. 177 00:09:26,047 --> 00:09:27,958 - One show only. - I've always wanted to see it. 178 00:09:28,127 --> 00:09:29,924 I was supposed to see this five years ago. 179 00:09:30,087 --> 00:09:32,317 I was in a Chinese restaurant with George and Elaine. 180 00:09:32,487 --> 00:09:33,920 We got screwed up and missed it. 181 00:09:34,087 --> 00:09:35,600 - Well, let's do it, huh? - All right. 182 00:09:35,767 --> 00:09:38,964 Look at this, Jerry. Dropping paper on the ground. 183 00:09:39,127 --> 00:09:40,719 See, that's littering. 184 00:09:40,887 --> 00:09:43,117 Maybe you ought to call the cops and turn me in. 185 00:09:43,607 --> 00:09:45,359 Maybe I will. 186 00:09:51,127 --> 00:09:53,038 - Hi. - Hey, how was your day? 187 00:09:53,207 --> 00:09:54,799 Good. Good day. 188 00:09:54,967 --> 00:09:57,686 - How was-? How was your day? - Oh, it was okay. 189 00:09:58,287 --> 00:10:00,847 - So, what's going on? - Oh, nothing much. 190 00:10:01,007 --> 00:10:04,317 You know, went over to Jerry's, talked to Jerry. 191 00:10:04,487 --> 00:10:07,684 Oh, the Lauers wanna get together with us on Friday night. 192 00:10:07,847 --> 00:10:09,326 The Lauers? Really? 193 00:10:09,487 --> 00:10:12,399 - Do you not wanna go? - No, no. I wanna go. 194 00:10:12,647 --> 00:10:14,922 So, what did Jerry have to say? 195 00:10:15,087 --> 00:10:18,716 Oh, nothing much. You know, we were talking. 196 00:10:25,847 --> 00:10:27,599 I had an unbelievable idea today. 197 00:10:27,767 --> 00:10:29,837 Oh, yeah, the toilets. You told me. 198 00:10:30,007 --> 00:10:32,441 Yeah. No, it's not the toilets. It's something else. 199 00:10:32,607 --> 00:10:33,881 - You ready for this? - Yeah. 200 00:10:34,047 --> 00:10:35,275 - Okay, how about this? - What? 201 00:10:35,447 --> 00:10:36,516 - All right. - Okay. 202 00:10:36,847 --> 00:10:38,963 We get married... 203 00:10:39,127 --> 00:10:41,595 ...March 21 st, the first day of spring. 204 00:10:42,007 --> 00:10:44,316 What do you mean? You wanna postpone the wedding? 205 00:10:44,487 --> 00:10:46,637 No, no, this has got nothing to do with postponing. 206 00:10:46,807 --> 00:10:49,844 I just think the first day of spring is the perfect day to get married. 207 00:10:50,007 --> 00:10:53,682 Spring! Rejuvenation, rebirth, everything is blooming. All that- 208 00:10:54,167 --> 00:10:59,287 If you don't wanna marry me, George, just say so. Just say so! 209 00:10:59,447 --> 00:11:00,846 No, no, still marry. Still marry. 210 00:11:01,007 --> 00:11:05,125 - No, you don't love me. - No, no, still love. Still love. 211 00:11:05,607 --> 00:11:07,643 My friends told me that you were too neurotic... 212 00:11:07,807 --> 00:11:11,083 - ... and that I was making a mistake. - No, no, no. No mistake. No mistake. 213 00:11:11,247 --> 00:11:13,203 Listen, we're gonna get married over Christmas. 214 00:11:13,367 --> 00:11:16,325 Really, it doesn't make any difference to me. It's fine, really. 215 00:11:16,487 --> 00:11:18,876 - You sure? - Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure. Christmas. 216 00:11:19,047 --> 00:11:23,279 Snow, Santa, all that stuff. 217 00:11:24,727 --> 00:11:25,842 Let me take a guess. 218 00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:29,201 She cried and you caved. 219 00:11:30,487 --> 00:11:33,957 - How did you know that? - I live and breathe, my friend. 220 00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:37,199 I live and breathe. 221 00:11:37,367 --> 00:11:40,484 I felt terrible. I thought she was gonna collapse and kill herself. 222 00:11:40,647 --> 00:11:43,844 Yes, it's very difficult. Few men have the constitution for it. 223 00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:45,838 That's why breakups take two or three tries. 224 00:11:46,007 --> 00:11:47,440 You gotta build up your immunity. 225 00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:49,837 You see those tears, you don't know what to do. 226 00:11:50,007 --> 00:11:52,805 It's like she was on fire. I was just trying to put her out. 227 00:11:54,687 --> 00:11:58,600 Well, at least you probably had some pretty good make-up sex afterwards. 228 00:11:59,367 --> 00:12:01,642 I didn't have any sex. 229 00:12:01,927 --> 00:12:05,317 You didn't have make-up sex? How could you not have make-up sex? 230 00:12:05,487 --> 00:12:07,842 That's the best feature of the heavy relationship. 231 00:12:08,447 --> 00:12:11,325 I missed out on the make-up sex. 232 00:12:12,687 --> 00:12:13,676 In your situation... 233 00:12:13,847 --> 00:12:16,407 ...the only sex you're gonna have better than make-up sex... 234 00:12:16,567 --> 00:12:19,479 ...is if you're sent to prison and you have a conjugal visit. 235 00:12:20,087 --> 00:12:23,762 Yeah, conjugal-visit sex. That is happening. 236 00:12:29,007 --> 00:12:33,762 Look, I can tell you're very upset, but I'm sorry, I'm not going. 237 00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:37,840 Did you hear that? 238 00:12:38,367 --> 00:12:42,565 I can't believe this. Look at this guy. He's eating a sandwich. 239 00:12:42,727 --> 00:12:45,036 Are you gonna eat those fries? 240 00:12:50,047 --> 00:12:51,241 This is amazing. 241 00:12:54,847 --> 00:12:57,486 Thank you. Thank you very much. 242 00:12:57,647 --> 00:12:58,875 I'm going back in. 243 00:13:00,207 --> 00:13:01,686 Feel better. 244 00:13:02,647 --> 00:13:04,524 Poor bastard. 245 00:13:12,087 --> 00:13:13,486 Good evening, Rabbi. 246 00:13:13,647 --> 00:13:16,081 Good evening. And how does this evening find you? 247 00:13:16,247 --> 00:13:17,839 Well, Rabbi. Well. 248 00:13:18,007 --> 00:13:20,521 I trust you're here to see your friend, Elaine? 249 00:13:20,687 --> 00:13:23,997 - Yeah, that's right. - I hope she's feeling better. 250 00:13:24,207 --> 00:13:25,401 What do you mean? 251 00:13:25,567 --> 00:13:27,364 - She didn't tell you? - No. 252 00:13:28,047 --> 00:13:30,720 Well, it seems the engagement of her friend George... 253 00:13:30,887 --> 00:13:33,196 ...has left her feeling bitter and hostile. 254 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,956 - Is that so? - Oh, yes. 255 00:13:37,127 --> 00:13:39,038 In fact, she told me that she wishes... 256 00:13:39,207 --> 00:13:41,437 ...she was the one who was getting married. 257 00:13:42,247 --> 00:13:43,566 Really? 258 00:13:43,727 --> 00:13:47,276 - She came off as pretty desperate. - I didn't know any of this. 259 00:13:47,447 --> 00:13:51,440 Apparently, she doesn't think much of this George fellow either. 260 00:13:51,607 --> 00:13:56,203 I recall the word "loser"peppered throughout our conversation. 261 00:13:57,447 --> 00:13:59,278 Well, this all comes as news to me. 262 00:14:03,047 --> 00:14:05,038 - Hi. - Hi, how was your day? 263 00:14:05,207 --> 00:14:06,640 Good. Good day. 264 00:14:06,807 --> 00:14:09,560 - How was your day? - Oh, it was okay. 265 00:14:09,727 --> 00:14:13,959 - So, what's going on? - Oh, nothing much, you know. 266 00:14:14,127 --> 00:14:17,403 I went over to Jerry's. You know, talked to Jerry. 267 00:14:21,847 --> 00:14:24,315 Could I-? Could I talk to you for a minute? 268 00:14:24,487 --> 00:14:25,966 Yeah, sure. 269 00:14:26,167 --> 00:14:27,600 All right. 270 00:14:29,207 --> 00:14:30,959 You see, this is the thing. 271 00:14:37,247 --> 00:14:40,876 I just feel like I can't do this in December. 272 00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:45,165 I just feel like I need a little more time because I feel like I'm not ready yet. 273 00:14:45,327 --> 00:14:47,921 I'm frightened and I'm scared. 274 00:14:48,087 --> 00:14:53,286 And I just feel we need a little more time to get to know each other. 275 00:14:55,447 --> 00:14:58,439 But I could do it in March. I promise. I promise. 276 00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:01,997 No more postponements. I just need three more months, please. 277 00:15:02,167 --> 00:15:04,727 Oh, George, George. 278 00:15:04,887 --> 00:15:06,161 Of course. 279 00:15:06,327 --> 00:15:09,637 Of course it can wait till March if that's what you want. 280 00:15:09,807 --> 00:15:12,196 - Yeah? - Oh, don't worry. 281 00:15:12,367 --> 00:15:16,326 Yes, of course, of course. 282 00:15:21,527 --> 00:15:23,119 I have that magazine article for you. 283 00:15:24,047 --> 00:15:26,436 You know, I had a little talk with the rabbi outside. 284 00:15:26,607 --> 00:15:28,677 - Oh, you did? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 285 00:15:28,847 --> 00:15:31,520 Understand you had a little talk with him too. 286 00:15:31,687 --> 00:15:33,405 Yeah, we talked earlier. 287 00:15:33,567 --> 00:15:36,161 Yes, I know, I know. 288 00:15:39,367 --> 00:15:42,643 - What does that mean? - Nothing. Nothing. 289 00:15:48,167 --> 00:15:50,442 - He didn't mention...? - Yes, he did. 290 00:15:50,607 --> 00:15:54,441 - He told you about the conversation? - Oh, we had quite a little chat. 291 00:15:54,607 --> 00:15:58,122 - He told you about-? - Yes, how you are jealous of George. 292 00:15:58,287 --> 00:16:00,642 How you wish you were getting married instead of him. 293 00:16:00,807 --> 00:16:02,320 He told you that? How could he? 294 00:16:02,487 --> 00:16:05,126 And it didn't take much prodding either, I have to say. 295 00:16:05,287 --> 00:16:08,165 - Can he do that? - He did. 296 00:16:08,327 --> 00:16:11,922 But he's a rabbi. How can a rabbi have such a big mouth? 297 00:16:12,087 --> 00:16:13,839 That's what's so fascinating. 298 00:16:15,807 --> 00:16:17,843 You better finish your little caffe latte there. 299 00:16:18,007 --> 00:16:20,043 - They'll never let you in with it. - Why not? 300 00:16:20,207 --> 00:16:23,119 Because they don't allow outside drinks into the movie. 301 00:16:23,447 --> 00:16:26,120 - Well, that's stupid. - That's the rule. 302 00:16:26,287 --> 00:16:29,199 Yeah, well, we'll just see if we can't get around that. 303 00:16:35,367 --> 00:16:37,597 Oh, Elaine, come in, come in. 304 00:16:38,127 --> 00:16:40,277 - So nice to see you again. - Yeah. 305 00:16:40,447 --> 00:16:43,678 Can I offer you some kasha varnishkes? 306 00:16:43,847 --> 00:16:47,123 No, no. Listen, Rabbi, I'd like to ask you a question. 307 00:16:47,287 --> 00:16:51,200 Why? Why did you tell my friend Jerry what I talked to you about? 308 00:16:51,367 --> 00:16:55,997 - Was that a problem for you? - Of course it was problem for me! 309 00:16:56,407 --> 00:16:59,444 You didn't-? You didn't tell anyone else about this, did you? 310 00:16:59,607 --> 00:17:01,518 Well, let's see... 311 00:17:02,207 --> 00:17:07,042 I seem to recall a conversation with Mrs. Winston in 1 F. 312 00:17:07,207 --> 00:17:08,196 Mrs. Winston? 313 00:17:08,567 --> 00:17:10,797 Yes, we were waiting for our mail to arrive... 314 00:17:10,967 --> 00:17:13,322 ...and I happened to mention to her... 315 00:17:13,487 --> 00:17:16,240 ...how you felt it was never going to "happen"for you. 316 00:17:18,487 --> 00:17:21,923 What about Don Ramsey? You didn't mention anything to him, did you? 317 00:17:22,247 --> 00:17:23,236 Don Ramsey? 318 00:17:23,407 --> 00:17:26,444 You know, that tall good-looking guy, he lives on the fifth floor? 319 00:17:26,607 --> 00:17:28,245 Oh, him. 320 00:17:28,407 --> 00:17:31,717 Well, this morning I happened to find myself in the elevator with him. 321 00:17:31,887 --> 00:17:33,843 Oh, my God, you didn't. 322 00:17:36,367 --> 00:17:37,880 Excuse me. 323 00:17:38,167 --> 00:17:40,044 Pardon me. Excuse us. 324 00:17:43,327 --> 00:17:44,840 My coffee! 325 00:17:53,927 --> 00:17:56,395 Hey, hey, what's going on? What just happened here? 326 00:17:56,567 --> 00:17:57,682 Nothing. Nothing. 327 00:17:57,847 --> 00:18:00,566 What do you got? One of those caffe lattes in your shirt? 328 00:18:00,727 --> 00:18:03,719 I don't have anything. What? Ask him. 329 00:18:05,607 --> 00:18:07,359 All right. Come on, coffee boy. 330 00:18:07,527 --> 00:18:09,961 - What? - Come on, now. Here we go. 331 00:18:12,927 --> 00:18:16,806 I mean, the whole thing is a mess. He told everyone in the building. 332 00:18:16,967 --> 00:18:18,878 I ran into that cute guy on the fifth floor... 333 00:18:19,047 --> 00:18:21,402 ...I mean, he could barely bring himself to nod. 334 00:18:22,607 --> 00:18:26,282 Elaine, if I could say a word here about the Jewish people. 335 00:18:27,287 --> 00:18:29,881 That man in no way represents our ability... 336 00:18:30,047 --> 00:18:33,835 ...to take in a nice piece of juicy gossip and keep it to ourselves. 337 00:18:34,007 --> 00:18:35,759 You didn't say anything to George, did you? 338 00:18:35,927 --> 00:18:37,121 No. 339 00:18:37,287 --> 00:18:40,245 About how you wish it was you who was getting married instead of him. 340 00:18:40,407 --> 00:18:44,366 - Feelings of resentment, hostility. - Yeah, yeah. So what? 341 00:18:45,007 --> 00:18:50,161 - Hey. - Georgie, congratulations! 342 00:18:50,327 --> 00:18:54,081 Oh, my God, I haven't seen you since it happened. 343 00:18:54,247 --> 00:18:56,681 I couldn't be happier for you. 344 00:18:57,247 --> 00:18:58,475 Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot. 345 00:18:58,727 --> 00:19:03,118 Oh, come on. Come on. You really, really deserve it. 346 00:19:03,687 --> 00:19:05,439 Deserve? I don't know about deserve. 347 00:19:05,607 --> 00:19:06,596 Are you kidding? 348 00:19:06,767 --> 00:19:09,565 I have seen the changes in you the past couple of years. 349 00:19:09,727 --> 00:19:13,515 Man, you have grown. You've matured. 350 00:19:13,807 --> 00:19:15,604 Yeah, I guess I'm getting older. 351 00:19:15,967 --> 00:19:19,562 Well, I just think it's wonderful. Honestly. 352 00:19:19,727 --> 00:19:24,164 I've gotta run, but please, please give my best to Susan. 353 00:19:24,327 --> 00:19:25,555 My most just... 354 00:19:25,727 --> 00:19:28,082 - ... heartfelt congratulations. - Yeah, thanks. 355 00:19:28,247 --> 00:19:29,680 Listen, if you ever get a date... 356 00:19:29,847 --> 00:19:32,361 ...maybe the four of us could go out together sometime. 357 00:19:34,287 --> 00:19:36,005 Yes. Yes, yes. Sure. 358 00:19:36,167 --> 00:19:38,840 Wasn't there some guy in your building that you said you liked? 359 00:19:39,007 --> 00:19:41,202 He lived up on the fifth floor or something? 360 00:19:41,367 --> 00:19:43,403 - Yes. Yes, yes, yes. - Yeah. 361 00:19:45,007 --> 00:19:47,726 - Boy, she is something, isn't she? - Yeah, she's something else. 362 00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:50,276 Hey, so, what happened? Did you hold your ground or...? 363 00:19:50,447 --> 00:19:54,645 - Nope. I wept like a baby. - What? 364 00:19:54,807 --> 00:19:57,924 Well, I started to tell her, and then all of a sudden, for some reason... 365 00:19:58,087 --> 00:19:59,839 ...I just burst into tears. 366 00:20:00,007 --> 00:20:02,441 - You cried? - I bawled uncontrollably. 367 00:20:02,607 --> 00:20:06,122 I just poured my guts out. And I'll tell you, Jerry, it was incredible. 368 00:20:06,407 --> 00:20:08,796 I never realized how powerful these tears are. 369 00:20:08,967 --> 00:20:12,243 I could have postponed it another five years if I wanted to. 370 00:20:12,767 --> 00:20:13,802 - Hey. - Hey. 371 00:20:13,967 --> 00:20:16,356 Sorry about that movie thing. I was joking around. 372 00:20:16,527 --> 00:20:17,960 Sorry? Are you kidding? 373 00:20:18,127 --> 00:20:19,765 You did me the biggest favour of my life. 374 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:23,636 I spoke to a lawyer. We're suing for millions. 375 00:20:23,807 --> 00:20:27,766 - Suing? What for? - The coffee was too hot. 376 00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:31,844 - It's supposed to be hot. - Not that hot. 377 00:20:39,127 --> 00:20:43,245 The prophet Isaiah tells us that without friends... 378 00:20:43,407 --> 00:20:46,319 ...our lives are empty and meaningless. 379 00:20:46,487 --> 00:20:49,763 Wait a minute. That's the rabbi from Elaine's building. 380 00:20:49,927 --> 00:20:52,122 I just met this guy the other day. 381 00:20:53,367 --> 00:20:56,882 A young lady I know, let's cal her Elaine... 382 00:21:00,087 --> 00:21:02,726 ...happened to find herself overwhelmed... 383 00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:06,846 ...with feelings of resentment and hostility for her friend... 384 00:21:07,007 --> 00:21:08,645 ...let's cal him George. 385 00:21:10,927 --> 00:21:13,805 She felt that George was somewhat of a loser... 386 00:21:14,367 --> 00:21:18,804 ...and that she was the one who deserved to be married first. 387 00:21:19,127 --> 00:21:23,837 She also happened to mention to me that her friend had wondered... 388 00:21:24,007 --> 00:21:28,876 ...if going to a prostitute while you're engaged is considered cheating. 389 00:21:32,527 --> 00:21:34,119 His feeling was... 390 00:21:34,287 --> 00:21:36,323 ...they're never going to see each other again... 391 00:21:36,487 --> 00:21:38,682 ...so, what's the difference? 392 00:21:39,207 --> 00:21:42,756 But that is a subject for another sermon. 393 00:21:42,927 --> 00:21:46,636 And now I'd lik e to close with a psalm.