1 00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:04,298 I've never been any place there was no coffee. 2 00:00:05,787 --> 00:00:07,698 And people constantly try to give you coffee. 3 00:00:07,867 --> 00:00:10,745 "Who's having coffee? Can I get you some coffee?" 4 00:00:10,907 --> 00:00:12,943 Coffee's one of the only things you can have... 5 00:00:13,107 --> 00:00:15,575 ...that people continue to try and give it to you. 6 00:00:15,827 --> 00:00:18,978 Waitresses ask, "Can I fill it up? Can I warm it up? Can I top it off?" 7 00:00:19,147 --> 00:00:20,626 You could lift up a manhole cover: 8 00:00:20,787 --> 00:00:23,221 "We just made a fresh pot. Would you like some?" 9 00:00:25,787 --> 00:00:27,015 It has taken over humanity. 10 00:00:27,187 --> 00:00:30,304 There are coffee machines we have to call "mister." 11 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:37,137 "Coffee anyone?" "Hey, that's Mr. Coffee to you." 12 00:00:42,907 --> 00:00:46,104 Then I hear this rabbi on television. I mean, imagine. 13 00:00:46,267 --> 00:00:48,383 I'm really sorry, George. 14 00:00:48,547 --> 00:00:52,506 I wasn't jealous of you. It was just the whole marriage thing. 15 00:00:52,667 --> 00:00:54,419 You know, I was just a little surprised. 16 00:00:54,587 --> 00:00:57,226 Why would anyone eat canned fruit? 17 00:00:57,387 --> 00:00:59,696 I mean, can anybody answer that? 18 00:00:59,867 --> 00:01:03,064 - What about all the "loser"stuff? - I don't know where the rabbi got that. 19 00:01:03,227 --> 00:01:08,176 You know, I never said that. I said, "I've never seen you looser." 20 00:01:08,987 --> 00:01:11,057 I could see the can if you're in the Army. 21 00:01:11,227 --> 00:01:14,025 But fresh fruit, it's available. It's there. 22 00:01:14,187 --> 00:01:16,098 It's two aisles over. 23 00:01:17,267 --> 00:01:20,100 Well, scintillating as always. 24 00:01:20,267 --> 00:01:22,827 - Where you going? - I'm going shopping with Susan. 25 00:01:22,987 --> 00:01:25,103 - What kind of shopping? - Clothes shopping. 26 00:01:25,267 --> 00:01:26,905 - Where you going? - Ross'. 27 00:01:27,067 --> 00:01:28,944 - That's a nice store. - It's her uncle's. 28 00:01:29,187 --> 00:01:32,065 - Discount? - One would hope. 29 00:01:34,907 --> 00:01:36,977 So my friend and I, we were going to the movies... 30 00:01:37,147 --> 00:01:39,615 ...and we stopped off and bought this café latte. 31 00:01:39,787 --> 00:01:41,743 - Is that Italian coffee? - Yeah, that's right. 32 00:01:41,907 --> 00:01:44,023 - Half milk, half coffee? - Yeah. 33 00:01:44,627 --> 00:01:47,221 - You take a sip? - Yes, I did. 34 00:01:47,387 --> 00:01:49,059 When you did, did you notice it was hot? 35 00:01:49,227 --> 00:01:50,899 Could you sip it in your normal fashion? 36 00:01:51,267 --> 00:01:53,861 No, I wasn't able to sip it in my normal fashion. 37 00:01:54,147 --> 00:01:55,899 All right, all right. 38 00:01:56,467 --> 00:01:57,616 You take big sips? 39 00:01:58,307 --> 00:01:59,979 Well, I think I take a normal sip. 40 00:02:00,147 --> 00:02:02,661 Okay, you take normal sips. Nothing wrong with that. 41 00:02:02,827 --> 00:02:05,295 - Then what happened? - Well, you know... 42 00:02:05,467 --> 00:02:08,664 ...they don't allow outside drinks in the movie theatre... 43 00:02:08,827 --> 00:02:10,977 ...so I had to put it in my shirt and sneak it in. 44 00:02:11,147 --> 00:02:13,456 Yeah, see, they like to sell their own coffee. 45 00:02:13,627 --> 00:02:15,857 - Is that gonna be a problem? - Yeah, it's a problem. 46 00:02:16,027 --> 00:02:17,346 It'll be a problem for them. 47 00:02:17,507 --> 00:02:19,702 It's a clear violation of your rights as a consumer. 48 00:02:19,867 --> 00:02:21,778 An infringement on your constitutional rights. 49 00:02:21,947 --> 00:02:24,780 It's outrageous, egregious, preposterous. 50 00:02:25,227 --> 00:02:27,218 It's definitely preposterous. 51 00:02:27,387 --> 00:02:28,979 So then what happened? 52 00:02:29,147 --> 00:02:33,538 Well, I was trying to get to my seat, and I had to step over someone... 53 00:02:33,707 --> 00:02:35,937 ...and I kind of got pushed, and it spilled on me. 54 00:02:36,107 --> 00:02:38,177 - Was there a top on it? - Yeah. 55 00:02:38,347 --> 00:02:40,815 Did you put the top on, or did they put it on for you? 56 00:02:40,987 --> 00:02:43,217 - They put the top on. - And they made the top. 57 00:02:43,387 --> 00:02:45,378 You didn't make the top, did you? 58 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:50,261 Suzy, I want you to go down to Java World. 59 00:02:50,427 --> 00:02:52,895 Get me a café latte with a top. 60 00:02:53,067 --> 00:02:54,978 We're gonna run some tests on that top. 61 00:02:56,987 --> 00:02:59,057 - Have you been to the doctor? - No. No, I haven't. 62 00:02:59,627 --> 00:03:01,538 Suzy, call Dr. Bison. 63 00:03:01,707 --> 00:03:04,301 Set up an appointment for Mr. Kramer. Tell him it's for me. 64 00:03:04,467 --> 00:03:07,379 - So, what do you think, Mr. Chiles? - Jackie. 65 00:03:07,787 --> 00:03:11,382 - Jackie. I mean, we got a chance? - Do we have a chance? 66 00:03:11,547 --> 00:03:13,265 Get me one coffee drinker on that jury... 67 00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:15,179 ...you gonna walk out of there a rich man. 68 00:03:19,107 --> 00:03:21,382 I don't like it. It's red. It's too flashy. 69 00:03:21,547 --> 00:03:23,458 Well, you could use a little flash. 70 00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:26,859 All right, don't change me. Susan, don't change me. 71 00:03:27,027 --> 00:03:30,656 There's a lot of women that would love to be in your position right now. 72 00:03:31,507 --> 00:03:33,065 Name one. 73 00:03:33,227 --> 00:03:34,819 So did you find anything? 74 00:03:34,987 --> 00:03:38,263 Oh, he is impossible to shop for, Uncle Ned. 75 00:03:39,547 --> 00:03:41,105 I'm going on vacation to Costa Rica. 76 00:03:41,267 --> 00:03:42,985 Maybe I'll see you in a couple of weeks. 77 00:03:43,147 --> 00:03:45,263 Excuse me, Mr. Ross. 78 00:03:47,547 --> 00:03:49,902 - See, now, this I don't get. - What? 79 00:03:50,107 --> 00:03:52,257 - The security guard. - What about him? 80 00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:53,986 Why does he have to stand? 81 00:03:55,507 --> 00:03:57,577 Because he's a security guard. 82 00:03:57,747 --> 00:03:59,021 I mean, look at him. 83 00:03:59,187 --> 00:04:02,020 He's gotta be on his feet like that all day? I mean, that's brutal. 84 00:04:02,187 --> 00:04:04,985 - I'm gonna say something to your uncle. - George, you just met him. 85 00:04:05,147 --> 00:04:07,058 Don't say anything to him. 86 00:04:07,227 --> 00:04:09,582 Aren't you concerned about the security guard? 87 00:04:09,947 --> 00:04:11,141 Not really. 88 00:04:13,187 --> 00:04:15,223 She's not concerned about the security guard. 89 00:04:15,387 --> 00:04:16,536 What kind of person is this? 90 00:04:16,827 --> 00:04:18,624 I'm marrying a person who doesn't care... 91 00:04:18,787 --> 00:04:20,698 ...this man has to stand eight hours a day... 92 00:04:20,867 --> 00:04:22,346 ...when he could easily be sitting. 93 00:04:22,507 --> 00:04:24,975 All right, George. What do you think? 94 00:04:27,707 --> 00:04:30,699 - So, what did you do last night? - Nothing. 95 00:04:30,867 --> 00:04:32,505 I know, but what did you actually do? 96 00:04:32,667 --> 00:04:36,660 Literally nothing. I sat in a chair and I stared. 97 00:04:37,227 --> 00:04:39,946 - Wow, that really is nothing. - I told you. 98 00:04:40,667 --> 00:04:41,861 - Hey. - Hey. 99 00:04:42,027 --> 00:04:43,221 What are you dressed up for? 100 00:04:43,387 --> 00:04:46,026 I just came from a meeting with my lawyer. 101 00:04:46,187 --> 00:04:48,417 - How's that looking? - I'll tell you how it's looking. 102 00:04:48,587 --> 00:04:51,147 My lawyer says if there's one coffee drinker on that jury... 103 00:04:51,307 --> 00:04:53,138 ...I'm gonna be a rich man. 104 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,663 Oh, that's despicable. 105 00:04:55,827 --> 00:04:58,261 How does he know how all coffee drinkers will vote? 106 00:04:58,427 --> 00:05:01,863 I'm a coffee drinker. If I was on that jury, I wouldn't give you a nickel. 107 00:05:02,027 --> 00:05:05,656 Well, you wouldn't be on that jury. He would've weeded you out. 108 00:05:07,667 --> 00:05:09,544 Frankly, I'm surprised you're so litigious. 109 00:05:09,707 --> 00:05:11,937 Oh, I can be quite litigious. 110 00:05:12,107 --> 00:05:13,335 Whoever heard of this anyway? 111 00:05:13,507 --> 00:05:16,419 Suing a company because their coffee is too hot? 112 00:05:16,587 --> 00:05:20,819 - Coffee is supposed to be hot. - But Jackie says the top was faulty. 113 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,865 Jackie says the top was faulty. 114 00:05:26,707 --> 00:05:28,140 - Hey, Maestro. - Kramer. 115 00:05:28,307 --> 00:05:29,945 - I'm in here. How's it going? - Fine. 116 00:05:30,107 --> 00:05:31,825 Hi, Bob. 117 00:05:32,987 --> 00:05:35,979 I'm sorry. Maestro. 118 00:05:36,147 --> 00:05:37,865 Oh, boy. This is a surprise. Look at you. 119 00:05:38,027 --> 00:05:41,736 I just wanted to drop off this Chinese balm for your burns. 120 00:05:41,907 --> 00:05:44,580 It's supposed to be great stuff. It's all herbal. 121 00:05:44,747 --> 00:05:48,660 Oh, Maestro, what are you doing? You don't have to do this. 122 00:05:48,827 --> 00:05:51,022 - Do you believe this Maestro? - It's nothing. 123 00:05:51,187 --> 00:05:53,143 You know, you haven't been around for a while. 124 00:05:53,307 --> 00:05:55,059 Oh, yeah. I've been at my house in Tuscany. 125 00:05:55,227 --> 00:05:58,060 Tuscany, huh? You hear that, Jerry? That's in Italy. Yeah. 126 00:05:58,427 --> 00:05:59,655 I hear it's beautiful there. 127 00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:02,899 Well, if you're thinking of getting a place there, don't bother. 128 00:06:03,067 --> 00:06:05,376 There's really nothing available. 129 00:06:06,827 --> 00:06:08,977 - Hello. - Well, hello. 130 00:06:09,147 --> 00:06:12,184 - And who might you be? - I might be Elaine. 131 00:06:12,347 --> 00:06:14,383 - This is Bob Cobb. - Maestro. 132 00:06:15,787 --> 00:06:19,223 - Maestro? - It is my very great pleasure. 133 00:06:23,027 --> 00:06:24,779 - I have to get going. - I have to be going. 134 00:06:24,947 --> 00:06:26,983 Jinx. Buy me a Coke. 135 00:06:27,147 --> 00:06:30,378 - I love it when that happens. - I know, I know. That is so... 136 00:06:30,547 --> 00:06:32,378 - Coincidental. - Yeah. 137 00:06:32,547 --> 00:06:34,299 - Okay, bye, you guys. - Yeah, yeah. 138 00:06:34,467 --> 00:06:36,185 - Ciao. - Yeah, see you. Oh, hey. 139 00:06:36,347 --> 00:06:39,623 Thanks for the balm. Yeah. 140 00:06:45,147 --> 00:06:47,217 You know you hurt the Maestro's feelings. 141 00:06:47,387 --> 00:06:49,981 - Because I didn't call him Maestro? - That's right. 142 00:06:50,147 --> 00:06:52,422 I feel a little funny calling somebody Maestro. 143 00:06:52,587 --> 00:06:54,976 - Why? - It's a stupid thing to be called. 144 00:06:55,147 --> 00:06:57,138 - Jerry, he's a conductor. - Oh, conductor? 145 00:06:57,307 --> 00:07:00,982 He conducts the Policemen's Benevolent Association Orchestra. 146 00:07:01,147 --> 00:07:02,899 Well, he's still a conductor. 147 00:07:03,067 --> 00:07:04,898 He sure worked pretty fast with Elaine. 148 00:07:05,067 --> 00:07:07,376 You should see him do "Flight of the Bumblebee." 149 00:07:07,547 --> 00:07:09,378 He just... 150 00:07:11,227 --> 00:07:12,706 New shirt? 151 00:07:12,987 --> 00:07:15,501 - Yeah, you like it? - No. Not particularly. 152 00:07:15,667 --> 00:07:17,146 - Why? The colour? - Yeah. 153 00:07:17,307 --> 00:07:19,775 - Too flashy? - Yeah, it's burning my retina. 154 00:07:22,707 --> 00:07:24,425 Susan picked that out for you, right? 155 00:07:24,587 --> 00:07:26,020 No. 156 00:07:27,867 --> 00:07:30,176 All right, what's it gonna be here? 157 00:07:30,347 --> 00:07:31,780 Let me ask you something. 158 00:07:31,947 --> 00:07:33,858 When you're in a store, does it bother you... 159 00:07:34,027 --> 00:07:36,621 ...that they make the security guard stand there all day? 160 00:07:37,467 --> 00:07:39,059 No. 161 00:07:39,467 --> 00:07:41,344 See, it didn't bother Susan either. 162 00:07:41,507 --> 00:07:42,906 That's why I'm different. 163 00:07:43,067 --> 00:07:45,945 I can sense the slightest human suffering. 164 00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:49,142 Are you sensing anything right now? 165 00:07:53,147 --> 00:07:54,296 Let me just say this. 166 00:07:54,467 --> 00:07:56,697 It's inhumane to make a man stand on his feet... 167 00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:58,778 ...in one spot for eight hours a day. 168 00:07:58,947 --> 00:08:00,824 Why shouldn't he have a chair? 169 00:08:01,067 --> 00:08:03,786 What about criminal activity? He's gotta be alert. 170 00:08:03,947 --> 00:08:06,381 He can't jump out of the chair? How long does that take? 171 00:08:06,547 --> 00:08:09,380 Look at this. Here, watch. Criminals. Boom, I'm up. 172 00:08:09,547 --> 00:08:11,856 Stop it, stop it, stop it. 173 00:08:12,827 --> 00:08:15,136 Maybe they offered him a chair and he turned it down. 174 00:08:15,307 --> 00:08:17,741 Would you get out of here. Who's gonna turn down a chair? 175 00:08:17,907 --> 00:08:20,626 I'd be very interested to know how he felt about all this. 176 00:08:20,787 --> 00:08:23,062 - Maybe I'll have a talk with him. - I know you will. 177 00:08:23,227 --> 00:08:25,138 Hey, hey. Listen to this. 178 00:08:25,307 --> 00:08:26,979 - Jackie just called. - Who? 179 00:08:27,147 --> 00:08:28,865 - His lawyer. - Java World wants to settle. 180 00:08:29,027 --> 00:08:30,585 - What? - Yeah, I'm gonna be rich. 181 00:08:31,267 --> 00:08:34,100 - Why are they settling? - They're afraid of bad publicity. 182 00:08:34,267 --> 00:08:36,303 All this because you spilled coffee on yourself? 183 00:08:36,467 --> 00:08:38,458 Yeah, that's right. 184 00:08:39,507 --> 00:08:43,136 I'm gonna need a coffee here! Very hot! Boiling! 185 00:08:44,027 --> 00:08:46,461 And then, about four years ago... 186 00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:51,701 ...I was on holiday in Tuscany, and I fell in love with this house. 187 00:08:51,867 --> 00:08:53,619 Are you ready to order? 188 00:08:54,427 --> 00:08:55,860 Gosh, what are you getting, Bob? 189 00:08:59,267 --> 00:09:02,020 Good question. We'll need a few minutes. 190 00:09:02,187 --> 00:09:03,984 Thanks. 191 00:09:05,627 --> 00:09:08,141 You know, I'm sorry, but... 192 00:09:08,747 --> 00:09:13,741 I didn't mention it earlier, but, actually, I prefer to be called Maestro. 193 00:09:15,067 --> 00:09:18,901 - Excuse me? - Well, you know, I am a conductor. 194 00:09:19,227 --> 00:09:20,740 Yeah. So? 195 00:09:20,907 --> 00:09:24,422 I suppose it's okay for Leonard Bernstein to be called Maestro... 196 00:09:24,587 --> 00:09:26,862 ...because he conducted the New York Philharmonic. 197 00:09:27,027 --> 00:09:29,461 So he gets to be called Maestro and I don't. 198 00:09:32,507 --> 00:09:35,544 Well, don't you think that he was probably called Maestro... 199 00:09:35,707 --> 00:09:38,426 ...while he was conducting. Not in social situations. 200 00:09:38,587 --> 00:09:40,737 I mean, his friends probably just called him Lenny. 201 00:09:40,907 --> 00:09:45,423 I happen to know for a fact that he was called Maestro in social situations. 202 00:09:45,587 --> 00:09:47,543 I once saw him in a bar, and somebody said: 203 00:09:47,707 --> 00:09:51,461 "Hello, Maestro, how about a beer?" Okay? So that's a fact. 204 00:09:52,747 --> 00:09:54,817 Maestro, huh? 205 00:09:55,747 --> 00:09:57,465 Okay. 206 00:09:57,827 --> 00:09:59,340 Maestro. 207 00:10:08,467 --> 00:10:10,822 Jerry! Jerry! 208 00:10:13,547 --> 00:10:16,345 Jerry, my burn, it's gone, look. 209 00:10:17,027 --> 00:10:19,143 - What do you mean? - I put that Chinese balm on it. 210 00:10:19,307 --> 00:10:21,298 - Look, it healed it. - So? 211 00:10:21,467 --> 00:10:23,935 So my lawsuit. I'm finished. 212 00:10:24,107 --> 00:10:27,179 - I thought they wanted to settle. - What happens if they wanna see it? 213 00:10:27,947 --> 00:10:30,177 - Then you're in a lot of trouble. - Yeah! 214 00:10:49,187 --> 00:10:51,985 - Tired? - No. 215 00:10:53,227 --> 00:10:55,343 How come no chair? 216 00:10:56,267 --> 00:10:57,780 What? 217 00:10:57,947 --> 00:11:00,905 I couldn't help but notice that you don't have a chair. 218 00:11:01,067 --> 00:11:03,535 - I don't need a chair. - I didn't mean to imply you did. 219 00:11:03,707 --> 00:11:06,585 You're obviously a very well-proportioned individual. 220 00:11:07,987 --> 00:11:10,296 What I was just wondering is... 221 00:11:10,907 --> 00:11:12,818 ...have they ever offered you a chair? 222 00:11:13,107 --> 00:11:15,701 - No. - Would you like a chair? 223 00:11:15,867 --> 00:11:17,903 I suppose if they gave me one I'd sit down. 224 00:11:18,827 --> 00:11:20,021 You would, wouldn't you? 225 00:11:20,187 --> 00:11:22,747 Obviously I'd rather sit, if that's what you're asking. 226 00:11:22,907 --> 00:11:24,943 - That's exactly my point. - Who wouldn't? 227 00:11:25,587 --> 00:11:27,179 Because, I tell you, frankly... 228 00:11:27,347 --> 00:11:30,942 ...I'd like to walk in here one day and find you sitting down. 229 00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:33,985 That would give me a lot of pleasure. 230 00:11:34,387 --> 00:11:35,661 Call me crazy. 231 00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:40,177 You put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on? 232 00:11:40,347 --> 00:11:42,577 I didn't tell you to. Why'd you put the balm on? 233 00:11:42,747 --> 00:11:44,305 You haven't even been to the doctor. 234 00:11:44,467 --> 00:11:46,378 Let a doctor put a balm on. 235 00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:50,224 - I guess I screwed up, huh, Jackie? - You're damn right, you screwed up. 236 00:11:50,387 --> 00:11:52,025 Where'd you get that damn balm anyway? 237 00:11:52,187 --> 00:11:53,939 - The Maestro. - The who? 238 00:11:54,107 --> 00:11:56,575 - What you talking about, Maestro? - My friend's a conductor. 239 00:11:57,187 --> 00:11:59,781 So a maestro tells you to put a balm on, and you do it? 240 00:11:59,947 --> 00:12:01,619 Well, my stomach was burning. 241 00:12:01,787 --> 00:12:04,096 I'll tell you what this is. It's a public humiliation. 242 00:12:04,267 --> 00:12:07,543 - I didn't know the balm would work. - Do you know what a balm is? 243 00:12:07,707 --> 00:12:10,426 You ever seen a balm? Didn't you read the instructions? 244 00:12:10,587 --> 00:12:14,057 No one can tell what a balm's gonna do. They're unpredictable. 245 00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:16,341 All right, I'm sorry, Jackie. 246 00:12:17,467 --> 00:12:20,982 - Pull over here, driver. This is it. - Yeah, get over. 247 00:12:22,227 --> 00:12:24,422 - You have a good time? - Yeah, he's very interesting. 248 00:12:24,587 --> 00:12:27,181 Did you know that Mozart died while writing the "Requiem"? 249 00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:30,145 Yeah. Everyone knows that. It was in Amadeus. 250 00:12:30,307 --> 00:12:31,706 Really? 251 00:12:31,907 --> 00:12:34,216 What about the name? Did he make you call him Maestro? 252 00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:36,457 - Yeah, I called him Maestro. - You didn't mind? 253 00:12:36,747 --> 00:12:40,262 Well, I did at first, but, actually, I kind of got used to it. 254 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:42,895 Okay, from now on, I want you to call me Jerry the Great. 255 00:12:43,067 --> 00:12:45,979 - I'm not calling you Jerry the Great. - Why not? You call him Maestro. 256 00:12:46,147 --> 00:12:48,024 - He is a maestro. - Well, I'm great. 257 00:12:48,187 --> 00:12:50,303 So you say. 258 00:12:50,907 --> 00:12:52,977 What about his house in Tuscany? He mention that? 259 00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:55,217 Yeah. I'm invited. 260 00:12:55,387 --> 00:12:58,902 When I told him it was beautiful there, out of the clear blue sky, he says: 261 00:12:59,067 --> 00:13:02,264 "There's nothing to rent,"as if he doesn't want anyone else there. 262 00:13:02,427 --> 00:13:03,621 Why? 263 00:13:03,787 --> 00:13:05,505 Maybe he's embarrassed by Americans. 264 00:13:05,667 --> 00:13:07,783 Well, maybe there aren't any houses to rent there. 265 00:13:07,947 --> 00:13:10,415 In all of Tuscany? I wonder. 266 00:13:12,587 --> 00:13:15,704 I say we offer him $50,000, that's it. Take it or leave it. 267 00:13:15,867 --> 00:13:18,062 How do we know how severe the burns are? 268 00:13:18,227 --> 00:13:19,819 Let's have him examined by a doctor. 269 00:13:19,987 --> 00:13:22,296 Listen, the faster we dispose of this, the better. 270 00:13:22,467 --> 00:13:24,503 This thing gets into the paper, it'll kill us. 271 00:13:24,667 --> 00:13:27,818 All right, we'll start with 50,000 and free coffee at all of our stores. 272 00:13:29,467 --> 00:13:33,255 - Yes? - Mr. Chiles and Mr. Kramer are here. 273 00:13:33,427 --> 00:13:34,985 Send them in. 274 00:13:39,067 --> 00:13:40,500 Gentlemen. 275 00:13:41,627 --> 00:13:43,379 Gentlemen, come in. 276 00:13:46,427 --> 00:13:48,816 Now, we don't want to take up much of your time. 277 00:13:48,987 --> 00:13:50,659 Let's make this short and sweet. 278 00:13:52,027 --> 00:13:55,417 We're prepared to offer you all the free coffee you want... 279 00:13:55,587 --> 00:13:58,659 ...at any of our stores throughout North America and Europe, plus- 280 00:13:58,827 --> 00:14:00,658 I'll take it! 281 00:14:08,547 --> 00:14:11,823 "I'll take it"? "I'll take it"? Who told you to take it? 282 00:14:11,987 --> 00:14:13,420 - Did I tell you to take it? - No. 283 00:14:13,587 --> 00:14:15,657 The Maestro didn't tell you to. He wasn't there. 284 00:14:15,827 --> 00:14:18,261 - We were lucky to get anything. - Free coffee? 285 00:14:18,427 --> 00:14:20,179 - Yeah. - I don't want free coffee. 286 00:14:20,347 --> 00:14:22,383 It's not hard to get coffee. I can get it myself. 287 00:14:22,547 --> 00:14:24,344 I wanna know what came after that "plus." 288 00:14:24,507 --> 00:14:26,577 I didn't hear any "plus." 289 00:14:26,747 --> 00:14:29,261 Twenty years, I've never experienced anything like this. 290 00:14:29,427 --> 00:14:31,736 Look, Java World. Hey, listen, I'm getting out here. 291 00:14:31,907 --> 00:14:34,705 I'm gonna get myself a free café latte. 292 00:14:43,627 --> 00:14:45,219 Hey. 293 00:14:45,387 --> 00:14:47,059 Hi, Maestro. 294 00:14:55,267 --> 00:14:57,178 - "Beethoven's 7th." - Yeah. 295 00:14:57,347 --> 00:14:59,178 - We were just talking about you. - Oh, yeah? 296 00:14:59,347 --> 00:15:02,339 The other day, you mentioned there were no houses in Tuscany. 297 00:15:02,507 --> 00:15:04,020 You didn't find one, did you? 298 00:15:04,187 --> 00:15:07,941 - No. Not really looking. - Nor should you. 299 00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:11,816 But are you telling me there's not one house to rent in all of Tuscany? 300 00:15:11,987 --> 00:15:14,740 The houses are passed down from generation to generation. 301 00:15:14,907 --> 00:15:16,625 It's very hard. 302 00:15:16,787 --> 00:15:20,666 I can't get a sublet, a guest room, a cot, nothing? 303 00:15:20,827 --> 00:15:24,706 - It's booked solid. - It's booked, Jerry. 304 00:15:24,867 --> 00:15:26,664 - How'd you get yours? - Got lucky. 305 00:15:26,827 --> 00:15:30,820 Come on, Elaine, let's take a ride. I was about to pop in some Verdi. 306 00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:41,297 Maybe I'll check out France. 307 00:15:43,227 --> 00:15:44,979 Hey, George. Hey, you believe this guy? 308 00:15:45,147 --> 00:15:46,899 - Who? - Bob Cobb. 309 00:15:47,067 --> 00:15:50,696 - Bob Cobb? - You know, the Maestro. 310 00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:51,856 I missed the Maestro? 311 00:15:52,027 --> 00:15:55,702 Get this, he tells me there are no houses anywhere in Tuscany to rent. 312 00:15:57,467 --> 00:16:00,300 - You renting a house in Tuscany? - No. 313 00:16:00,667 --> 00:16:01,941 So, what do you care? 314 00:16:07,507 --> 00:16:10,579 I wish I could figure out if this guy's trying to keep me out of Tuscany. 315 00:16:10,747 --> 00:16:13,978 Of course he is. There's got to be houses for rent in Tuscany. 316 00:16:14,147 --> 00:16:16,502 - Do you know how big Tuscany is? - I have no idea. 317 00:16:16,667 --> 00:16:19,181 It's huge. It's probably like North Dakota. 318 00:16:19,347 --> 00:16:22,384 - Oh, no way it's that big. - It's a big region. 319 00:16:22,547 --> 00:16:24,503 You know how big North Dakota is, stupid? 320 00:16:26,427 --> 00:16:29,100 - Why do I bother talking to you? - There's no gun to your head. 321 00:16:29,267 --> 00:16:30,700 All right. 322 00:16:32,987 --> 00:16:35,376 - So I spoke to the security guard. - Yeah? And? 323 00:16:35,547 --> 00:16:37,026 It was tough to get a good read... 324 00:16:37,187 --> 00:16:40,384 ...but I think if I brought him a chair, he'd sit. 325 00:16:40,747 --> 00:16:43,864 - So you're gonna get him a chair? - Yeah. It's a question of what kind. 326 00:16:44,027 --> 00:16:46,461 - Thinking about a barstool. - That'd give him some height. 327 00:16:46,627 --> 00:16:49,141 Be able to check things out. With a back or without? 328 00:16:49,307 --> 00:16:50,535 I think I'd go for the back. 329 00:16:50,707 --> 00:16:52,777 - Swivel? - I suppose he could swivel. 330 00:16:55,027 --> 00:16:58,099 - Maybe one of those director's chairs. - That's kind of a pompous look. 331 00:17:00,627 --> 00:17:03,300 My parents had a kitchen chair that would've been perfect. 332 00:17:03,467 --> 00:17:04,820 - One of those vinyl things? - Yes. 333 00:17:04,987 --> 00:17:06,978 Vinyl, yeah. Maybe. 334 00:17:07,387 --> 00:17:11,824 How can I figure out if there's any places to rent in Tuscany? 335 00:17:12,187 --> 00:17:14,826 Wait a minute. Poppie's from Tuscany. 336 00:17:15,227 --> 00:17:17,297 - I'm gonna go call him. - Yeah, good luck. 337 00:17:18,267 --> 00:17:20,178 Hey, I'll meet you outside. 338 00:17:31,387 --> 00:17:34,743 Poppie told me to talk to his cousin. He lives down in Little Italy. 339 00:17:34,907 --> 00:17:36,784 What do you think about a rocking chair? 340 00:17:36,947 --> 00:17:39,256 You can't limit my café lattes. It says so right here. 341 00:17:39,427 --> 00:17:42,624 And no dirty looks. If I want a café latte, you give me a café latte. 342 00:17:42,787 --> 00:17:45,017 If I have any problems, I'll get my lawyer down here. 343 00:17:45,187 --> 00:17:46,506 You'll be in big trouble. 344 00:17:47,227 --> 00:17:49,741 Hey, hey, slow down, Eddie. What's the matter? 345 00:17:49,907 --> 00:17:52,216 They're making faces because I've had some café lattes. 346 00:17:52,387 --> 00:17:55,459 But I can have as many café lattes as I want. That was the settlement. 347 00:17:55,627 --> 00:17:57,902 - That's it? - That's it. You want one, George? 348 00:17:58,067 --> 00:18:00,581 Jerry, you want one? They're delicious. My pleasure. 349 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,978 You've got to stop it. You're all hopped up on the caffeine. 350 00:18:04,147 --> 00:18:07,059 - I feel like I'm talking a little faster. - You're racing. 351 00:18:07,227 --> 00:18:09,138 Well, I got things to do. See you later. Bye. 352 00:18:19,747 --> 00:18:21,180 Oh, Bob. 353 00:18:21,347 --> 00:18:22,826 Bob. 354 00:18:23,427 --> 00:18:25,657 Maestro. 355 00:18:26,067 --> 00:18:27,659 Maestro. 356 00:18:33,907 --> 00:18:36,580 Excuse me. Can I help you? 357 00:18:36,747 --> 00:18:39,386 No. Just giving a chair to the security guard. 358 00:18:39,547 --> 00:18:41,378 Did Mr. Ross tell you to do this? 359 00:18:45,907 --> 00:18:48,501 - What's your name? - Evan Fane. 360 00:18:48,667 --> 00:18:50,703 I'm engaged to Mr. Ross' niece. 361 00:18:50,867 --> 00:18:52,858 I'll be taking over this whole place someday... 362 00:18:53,027 --> 00:18:55,063 ...so if I were you, I'd stay on my good side. 363 00:18:55,587 --> 00:18:57,145 I'm terribly sorry. I didn't know. 364 00:18:57,307 --> 00:18:59,104 Innocent mistake. 365 00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:05,225 Well, here you go. What do you think? 366 00:19:05,507 --> 00:19:06,986 Mr. Ross said this was okay? 367 00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,263 I'm his nephew, all right? Don't worry about it. 368 00:19:09,427 --> 00:19:11,338 Go ahead. Check it out. 369 00:19:12,987 --> 00:19:14,181 Well... 370 00:19:20,987 --> 00:19:22,659 Not bad. 371 00:19:23,307 --> 00:19:25,138 Not bad at all. 372 00:19:31,707 --> 00:19:34,426 Excuse me, I'm looking for a Mr. Ciccio. 373 00:19:35,547 --> 00:19:36,775 I'm Ciccio. 374 00:19:37,187 --> 00:19:39,064 Poppie sent me to see you, Mr. Ciccio. 375 00:19:39,227 --> 00:19:40,626 Sì, sì, Poppie. 376 00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:44,386 Did he mention to you why I called? 377 00:19:44,907 --> 00:19:47,467 - The house in Toscana. - Yeah, right, right. 378 00:19:47,627 --> 00:19:49,299 So is there anything there to rent? 379 00:19:50,427 --> 00:19:52,622 Two million lire. You give me the check. 380 00:19:52,787 --> 00:19:56,939 - No, I didn't actually want to rent it. - The keys. Here are the keys. 381 00:19:57,107 --> 00:20:00,019 You give me the check. Two million lire. 382 00:20:00,627 --> 00:20:03,619 Seventeen-hundred American. 383 00:20:14,027 --> 00:20:15,745 No, see... 384 00:20:16,187 --> 00:20:18,747 ...I didn't say that I wanted to rent it. 385 00:20:18,907 --> 00:20:22,582 I was just wondering if there were houses there to rent. 386 00:20:24,987 --> 00:20:26,705 This one. 387 00:20:56,787 --> 00:21:00,018 It's been a rough couple of weeks. I really needed to get away. 388 00:21:00,187 --> 00:21:01,779 I told you. 389 00:21:01,947 --> 00:21:03,665 It's paradise. 390 00:21:03,827 --> 00:21:06,341 You were right, Maestro. 391 00:21:18,267 --> 00:21:20,019 Come on, Jerry, this guy's crazy. Get out. 392 00:21:20,187 --> 00:21:22,860 I'm getting out. You didn't have to push me. 393 00:21:24,467 --> 00:21:27,220 - How much did you pay that guy? - Seventy-five thousand lire. 394 00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:29,855 Seventy-five thousand lire? Are you out of your mind? 395 00:21:30,027 --> 00:21:32,063 Kramer, you don't understand the conversion rate. 396 00:21:32,227 --> 00:21:33,376 The conversion rates. 397 00:21:33,547 --> 00:21:36,505 - I don't even know why I brought you. - Nobody put a gun to your head. 398 00:21:40,827 --> 00:21:42,021 - Not bad. - Yeah.