1 00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:05,634 Every morning, when you wake up, it's like you're born all over again. 2 00:00:07,157 --> 00:00:09,193 You can't see, you can't talk. 3 00:00:09,357 --> 00:00:12,429 You're on your way to the bathroom trying to remember, "How do I walk?" 4 00:00:12,597 --> 00:00:14,110 Like you've never been alive before. 5 00:00:14,277 --> 00:00:16,950 But if any invention marks the decline of human civilization... 6 00:00:17,117 --> 00:00:18,835 ...it would have to be the snooze alarm. 7 00:00:18,997 --> 00:00:20,669 The snooze alarm is based on the idea... 8 00:00:20,837 --> 00:00:23,590 ...that when the alarm goes off, you are not getting up. 9 00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:26,191 You're not even awake, you're already a failure. 10 00:00:26,357 --> 00:00:29,269 They should sell the snooze alarm with an unemployment application... 11 00:00:29,437 --> 00:00:30,711 ...and a bottle of tequila. 12 00:00:30,877 --> 00:00:34,347 Just make it a complete pathetic-loser kit. 13 00:00:46,037 --> 00:00:48,392 - Hello. - This is your wake-up service. 14 00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:53,392 Oh, God. 15 00:00:53,557 --> 00:00:56,947 Oh, I could use a few more hours sleep. 16 00:00:57,117 --> 00:01:00,234 - Hot date last night? - I wish. 17 00:01:00,397 --> 00:01:02,035 A woman with a sexy voice lik e yours... 18 00:01:02,197 --> 00:01:04,836 ...it's hard to believe you're waking up alone. 19 00:01:06,157 --> 00:01:07,715 Really? 20 00:01:07,877 --> 00:01:09,071 Thank you... 21 00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:12,912 ...Tri-State Wake-Up Service person. 22 00:01:13,077 --> 00:01:17,548 - Cal me James. - Oh, all right, James. 23 00:01:20,477 --> 00:01:22,149 The wake-up guy asked you out? 24 00:01:22,317 --> 00:01:23,466 Yeah, I've never seen him... 25 00:01:23,637 --> 00:01:26,834 ...but I feel like we have this weirdly intimate relationship. 26 00:01:26,997 --> 00:01:29,147 You know, I mean, I'm lying in bed. 27 00:01:29,317 --> 00:01:31,114 I'm wearing my nightie. 28 00:01:31,277 --> 00:01:32,596 I don't know. A blind date? 29 00:01:33,157 --> 00:01:35,796 You wanna go out with my cousin Holly. You've never met her. 30 00:01:35,957 --> 00:01:37,549 Yeah, but I've seen pictures of her. 31 00:01:37,717 --> 00:01:39,275 At least I've spoken to my guy. 32 00:01:39,437 --> 00:01:41,667 You're going out on a deaf date. 33 00:01:41,837 --> 00:01:44,192 I think I'd rather go on a deaf date than a blind date. 34 00:01:44,357 --> 00:01:47,315 The question is, would you rather date the blind or the deaf? 35 00:01:47,477 --> 00:01:49,513 - Now, you're off on a topic. - That's interesting. 36 00:01:49,677 --> 00:01:52,669 See, now, I think I would rather date the deaf. 37 00:01:52,837 --> 00:01:54,031 Because I think the blind... 38 00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:56,586 ...would probably be a little messy around the house. 39 00:01:56,757 --> 00:01:59,829 I mean, let's face it, they're not gonna get all the crumbs. 40 00:01:59,997 --> 00:02:02,033 You're constantly walking around with a sponge. 41 00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:05,306 See, I disagree. I would rather date the blind. 42 00:02:05,477 --> 00:02:08,947 You know, you could let the house go, you let yourself go. 43 00:02:09,557 --> 00:02:10,831 A good-looking blind woman... 44 00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:13,067 ...doesn't know you're not good enough for her. 45 00:02:13,237 --> 00:02:15,467 I think she'd figure it out soon enough. 46 00:02:17,597 --> 00:02:19,110 What? 47 00:02:19,277 --> 00:02:20,756 What is this? 48 00:02:20,917 --> 00:02:23,477 Veggie sandwich and a grapefruit. 49 00:02:23,637 --> 00:02:26,515 Veggie sandwich and a grapefruit? What are you turning into? 50 00:02:26,677 --> 00:02:28,633 A healthy person. 51 00:02:30,677 --> 00:02:32,872 - You squirted me. - Oh, sorry. 52 00:02:33,037 --> 00:02:35,107 Boy, that stings. 53 00:02:38,037 --> 00:02:40,187 George, have you seen Morgan? 54 00:02:40,597 --> 00:02:42,713 - No. - He's been coming in later and later. 55 00:02:42,877 --> 00:02:46,506 - Is there something wrong? - No, not that I know of. 56 00:02:47,637 --> 00:02:49,195 Really? 57 00:02:49,357 --> 00:02:50,631 Well, make sure he signs this. 58 00:02:50,797 --> 00:02:53,470 George, if there's a problem with Morgan, you can tell me. 59 00:02:53,637 --> 00:02:56,105 Morgan? No, he's doing a great job. 60 00:02:56,797 --> 00:02:58,196 I understand. 61 00:03:00,877 --> 00:03:03,186 I still can't believe you're going out on a blind date. 62 00:03:03,357 --> 00:03:05,666 I'm not worried. He sounds like he's good-looking. 63 00:03:06,517 --> 00:03:09,350 You're going by sound? What are we, whales? 64 00:03:10,397 --> 00:03:11,591 I think I can tell. 65 00:03:11,757 --> 00:03:13,827 What percentage of people are good-looking? 66 00:03:13,997 --> 00:03:16,511 - Twenty-five percent. - Twenty-five percent? 67 00:03:16,677 --> 00:03:19,111 No way. It's like 4 to 6 percent. 68 00:03:19,277 --> 00:03:20,596 It's a 20-1 shot. 69 00:03:20,757 --> 00:03:22,395 - You're way off. - Way off? 70 00:03:22,557 --> 00:03:26,106 You been to the Motor Vehicle Bureau? It's a leper colony down there. 71 00:03:26,877 --> 00:03:28,754 So basically, what you're saying... 72 00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,226 ...is 95 percent of the population is undateable? 73 00:03:31,397 --> 00:03:33,035 Undateable. 74 00:03:33,197 --> 00:03:35,153 Then how are all these people getting together? 75 00:03:35,317 --> 00:03:36,830 Alcohol. 76 00:03:37,277 --> 00:03:38,471 What is your problem? 77 00:03:39,717 --> 00:03:41,673 No problem here. 78 00:03:41,837 --> 00:03:44,112 You keep winking at me. That's really obnoxious. 79 00:03:44,877 --> 00:03:47,710 - I had no idea. - Right there. You just did it again. 80 00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:49,665 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 81 00:03:49,837 --> 00:03:51,907 It's from that grapefruit Jerry squirted at me. 82 00:03:52,077 --> 00:03:53,396 Oh, your eye still hurts? 83 00:03:53,557 --> 00:03:57,027 Yeah, yeah, you must have squirted a piece of pulp in it too. 84 00:03:57,197 --> 00:03:58,835 Pulp couldn't make it across the table. 85 00:03:58,997 --> 00:04:01,113 Pulp can move, baby. 86 00:04:01,597 --> 00:04:03,110 Why can't you eat a real breakfast? 87 00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:05,996 I eat healthy. If I have to take out an eye, that's the breaks. 88 00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:09,511 Wait a minute. I must have been winking down at the office. 89 00:04:09,677 --> 00:04:12,032 That's why Mr. Wilhelm was acting so misterioso. 90 00:04:13,237 --> 00:04:16,070 What did he think, you were flirting with him? 91 00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:19,312 No, he thought I was hiding something about Morgan. 92 00:04:20,797 --> 00:04:22,833 - Hey, guys. - Hi, Jughead. 93 00:04:22,997 --> 00:04:26,307 Hello, Archie, Veronica, Mr. Weatherbee. 94 00:04:28,397 --> 00:04:29,876 Hey. 95 00:04:30,357 --> 00:04:32,507 - Is this Don Mattingly's signature? - Yeah. 96 00:04:32,677 --> 00:04:33,871 And Buck Showalter's? 97 00:04:34,037 --> 00:04:37,313 It's an interoffice envelope. It gets passed around all over the office. 98 00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:39,149 Hey, can I show this to my buddy Stubs? 99 00:04:39,317 --> 00:04:40,830 He runs a sports-memorabilia store. 100 00:04:40,997 --> 00:04:42,669 He'll pay top-dollar for pro autographs. 101 00:04:43,397 --> 00:04:46,116 Yeah, like I'm gonna risk my job with the New York Yankees... 102 00:04:46,277 --> 00:04:47,790 ...to make a few extra bucks. 103 00:04:47,957 --> 00:04:49,310 No, of course not. 104 00:04:52,437 --> 00:04:54,826 No, you see, Don Mattingly signed this envelope. 105 00:04:54,997 --> 00:04:56,794 Then he sent it to room 318... 106 00:04:56,957 --> 00:05:00,233 ...where it was received and signed for by manager Buck Showalter. 107 00:05:00,397 --> 00:05:02,388 I don't know. An envelope? 108 00:05:02,557 --> 00:05:04,275 - It doesn't really cut it. - Why? 109 00:05:04,677 --> 00:05:06,315 And what is this? 110 00:05:06,477 --> 00:05:08,433 A birthday card. 111 00:05:08,597 --> 00:05:11,873 Signed by the entire Yankee organization? 112 00:05:13,437 --> 00:05:14,995 This could be worth something. 113 00:05:15,637 --> 00:05:17,867 - Is that the lovely Mrs. Morgan? - Hello. 114 00:05:18,037 --> 00:05:19,595 You got that birthday card? 115 00:05:20,597 --> 00:05:23,350 - Birthday card? - Mr. Steinbrenner's birthday card. 116 00:05:23,517 --> 00:05:25,314 Wilhelm said you'd have it for me to sign. 117 00:05:25,477 --> 00:05:29,356 Oh, yeah. I'll have that for you right after lunch. 118 00:05:29,517 --> 00:05:33,066 - Fine. I'll be back after my massage. - Of course, your massage. 119 00:05:33,237 --> 00:05:35,387 Enjoy your massage. 120 00:05:47,717 --> 00:05:49,389 - Hello? - Elaine? 121 00:05:50,077 --> 00:05:52,147 - James. - Yes. 122 00:05:53,277 --> 00:05:55,108 Hello. 123 00:05:59,637 --> 00:06:01,548 I can't believe Elaine's never taken you here. 124 00:06:01,717 --> 00:06:03,389 I'm really not much of a meat eater. 125 00:06:04,157 --> 00:06:05,272 You don't eat meat? 126 00:06:05,437 --> 00:06:07,871 - What are you, one of those-? - No, I'm not one of those. 127 00:06:09,757 --> 00:06:10,951 When we were little girls... 128 00:06:11,117 --> 00:06:13,711 ...Grandma Mema would take us to a matinee and dinner here. 129 00:06:13,877 --> 00:06:16,755 - Grandma Mema? - Elaine must have mentioned Mema. 130 00:06:16,917 --> 00:06:18,748 No, I think I would have remembered Mema. 131 00:06:18,917 --> 00:06:21,511 Oh, well, that's typical. Elaine never liked Grandma Mema. 132 00:06:21,917 --> 00:06:23,111 Ready? 133 00:06:23,277 --> 00:06:26,474 I'll have the porterhouse, medium rare, baked potato with sour cream. 134 00:06:26,997 --> 00:06:28,749 What do you recommended besides a steak? 135 00:06:28,917 --> 00:06:30,669 The lamb chops are good. 136 00:06:30,837 --> 00:06:33,829 Anything lighter? How do you prepare the chicken? 137 00:06:33,997 --> 00:06:37,148 It's a full bird, stuffed with ham, topped with Gorgonzola. 138 00:06:38,637 --> 00:06:40,036 You know, I'll just have a salad. 139 00:06:43,117 --> 00:06:44,869 Thank you. 140 00:06:45,037 --> 00:06:46,516 Just a salad. 141 00:06:46,677 --> 00:06:48,156 Just a salad. 142 00:06:48,317 --> 00:06:49,670 Just a salad. 143 00:06:49,837 --> 00:06:51,429 Here you are. Hey, boys. 144 00:06:51,597 --> 00:06:53,235 Hey, you. Hey, you. Hi. 145 00:06:54,237 --> 00:06:55,431 These are your dogs? 146 00:06:55,597 --> 00:06:57,872 Yeah, when you live alone, your dogs are all you have. 147 00:06:58,037 --> 00:06:59,755 Do you like dogs? 148 00:07:00,197 --> 00:07:05,351 Shut up, you stupid little mutt! 149 00:07:06,157 --> 00:07:10,275 - Dogs? Oh, I love dogs. - Boys, this is Elaine. 150 00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:16,906 I'm sorry. They're usually very friendly. 151 00:07:17,077 --> 00:07:18,476 Hey. 152 00:07:19,997 --> 00:07:22,147 Hey, Mr. Morgan, how was your massage? 153 00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:25,150 I had to cancel it. For some reason my wife got it into her head... 154 00:07:25,317 --> 00:07:26,989 ...that it was more than just a massage. 155 00:07:27,717 --> 00:07:30,026 - Really? - We got into this big fight at lunch. 156 00:07:30,197 --> 00:07:32,791 - I'll be sleeping on the couch. - Listen, don't oversleep. 157 00:07:32,957 --> 00:07:34,834 - You can't afford to be late again. - I know. 158 00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:38,706 Somebody's been giving Wilhelm the impression I've been slacking off. 159 00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:42,030 Hey, you know, you should try my friend's wake-up service. 160 00:07:42,197 --> 00:07:43,550 She's swears by this thing. 161 00:07:43,717 --> 00:07:45,389 You may be my only friend around here. 162 00:07:45,557 --> 00:07:48,594 - By the way, you got that card? - Not yet. 163 00:07:48,757 --> 00:07:50,952 Make sure Steinbrenner doesn't get it till I sign it. 164 00:07:51,117 --> 00:07:52,106 Yes, sir. 165 00:07:52,397 --> 00:07:54,069 I mean, I just don't understand it. 166 00:07:54,237 --> 00:07:57,035 As soon as I met these dogs, they started growling at me. 167 00:07:57,197 --> 00:08:01,110 Well, maybe his dogs heard about how you tried to kidnap that other dog. 168 00:08:01,277 --> 00:08:03,666 These mutts like to gossip. 169 00:08:03,877 --> 00:08:05,071 So have you talked to Holly? 170 00:08:06,197 --> 00:08:07,550 Did she mention our lunch? 171 00:08:08,437 --> 00:08:10,746 - Kind of. - Well, what do you mean, "Kind of"? 172 00:08:11,637 --> 00:08:15,550 I mean, she thought it was kind of strange to just order a salad. 173 00:08:15,957 --> 00:08:19,427 You know, for a man. 174 00:08:20,557 --> 00:08:22,513 Like a quiche thing? 175 00:08:23,157 --> 00:08:24,909 You're in the ballpark. 176 00:08:25,077 --> 00:08:26,590 Salad? What was I thinking? 177 00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:28,429 Women don't respect salad eaters. 178 00:08:28,597 --> 00:08:30,189 You got that right. 179 00:08:30,357 --> 00:08:32,917 You're going over there for dinner tonight, right? 180 00:08:33,077 --> 00:08:37,070 - What is she making? - I don't know. I'm sure it had parents. 181 00:08:40,117 --> 00:08:41,755 Call her up. She won't mind if you come. 182 00:08:41,917 --> 00:08:45,307 Oh, don't worry, I'll be there. And I'll be packing an artery. 183 00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:50,194 Well, Mr. Weatherbee. 184 00:08:51,037 --> 00:08:52,436 Do you have that Yankee envelope? 185 00:08:52,797 --> 00:08:54,310 I sure do. 186 00:08:55,117 --> 00:08:56,550 - There you are. - Hey. 187 00:08:56,717 --> 00:08:59,390 Think you're gonna be very pleased when you see what's inside. 188 00:09:01,477 --> 00:09:03,707 - What is this? - Your cut of the loot. 189 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,071 Stubs gave me $200... 190 00:09:05,237 --> 00:09:07,546 ...for the autographed birthday card that was inside. 191 00:09:07,717 --> 00:09:09,230 Who told you to sell the card? 192 00:09:10,837 --> 00:09:13,271 - You did. - No, I didn't. 193 00:09:13,437 --> 00:09:14,665 Well, not in so many words... 194 00:09:14,837 --> 00:09:17,351 ...but I believe we had an understanding. 195 00:09:18,437 --> 00:09:20,075 I was not winking, you idiot. 196 00:09:20,237 --> 00:09:22,193 That was the grapefruit. It's like acid. 197 00:09:22,357 --> 00:09:25,155 I need that card back. It's Steinbrenner's. I was responsible. 198 00:09:25,317 --> 00:09:28,275 Well, Stubs sold it to some guy whose kid is in the hospital. 199 00:09:28,437 --> 00:09:31,235 Well, get it back. It's very important. 200 00:09:32,677 --> 00:09:34,429 Look, you want me to get it back or not? 201 00:09:35,037 --> 00:09:37,346 Get it back! 202 00:09:38,397 --> 00:09:41,389 This is such a lovely table setting, Holly. 203 00:09:41,557 --> 00:09:44,196 - Where did you get these napkins? - They were Grandma Mema's. 204 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,509 - I don't remember them. - You wouldn't. 205 00:09:46,677 --> 00:09:49,191 She only used them on special occasions. 206 00:09:50,317 --> 00:09:52,877 Special occasions? It wasn't special when my family visited? 207 00:09:53,037 --> 00:09:55,597 Everybody like mutton? 208 00:09:56,357 --> 00:09:58,029 Mutton. 209 00:09:58,797 --> 00:10:01,186 Hope you didn't cut the fat off. 210 00:10:04,397 --> 00:10:06,627 - Are you Bobby? - Yes. 211 00:10:07,157 --> 00:10:10,194 Well, I heard that you have a very special birthday card... 212 00:10:10,357 --> 00:10:12,427 ...with all the Yankee autographs on it. 213 00:10:12,597 --> 00:10:15,828 - Sure do, mister. - Oh, boy. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Yeah. 214 00:10:15,997 --> 00:10:18,192 Boy, Stubs sure went to town with this thing, huh? 215 00:10:18,357 --> 00:10:20,552 Yeah, well, Bobby, what if I told you... 216 00:10:20,717 --> 00:10:23,151 ...that a very important person at the New York Yankees... 217 00:10:23,317 --> 00:10:24,545 ...needed this card back? 218 00:10:24,717 --> 00:10:28,392 Oh, no. I'd never part with this card for anything in the world. 219 00:10:28,557 --> 00:10:31,071 Well, Bobby... 220 00:10:32,197 --> 00:10:34,631 - Who's your favourite Yankee? - Paul O'Neill. 221 00:10:34,797 --> 00:10:37,709 What if I get Paul O'Neill to hit a home run just for you? 222 00:10:37,877 --> 00:10:41,074 - Really? Paul O'Neill would do that? - For you, he would. 223 00:10:41,237 --> 00:10:42,909 Could he hit two home runs? 224 00:10:43,077 --> 00:10:44,510 Two? 225 00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:47,555 Sure, kid. But then you gotta promise you'll do something for me. 226 00:10:47,717 --> 00:10:50,675 I know. Get out of this bed one day and walk again. 227 00:10:50,837 --> 00:10:53,226 Yeah, that would be nice, but I just need the card. 228 00:10:57,877 --> 00:10:59,151 What about this candelabra? 229 00:10:59,317 --> 00:11:01,069 That was Grandma Mema's also. 230 00:11:01,237 --> 00:11:03,228 She bought it on her trip to Europe in 1926. 231 00:11:03,957 --> 00:11:07,154 Jerry, I'm thrilled you like my mutton. I was afraid you only ate salad. 232 00:11:07,317 --> 00:11:11,595 Hey, salad's got nothing on this mutton. 233 00:11:12,477 --> 00:11:14,354 That is so funny. Did you just make that up? 234 00:11:14,517 --> 00:11:16,109 I wish I could take credit for it. 235 00:11:16,277 --> 00:11:19,872 It's actually a line my butcher uses when we're chewing the fat. 236 00:11:22,197 --> 00:11:24,028 How about that beautiful desk over there? 237 00:11:26,357 --> 00:11:29,076 Yeah, that was in Mema's study. 238 00:11:29,237 --> 00:11:30,989 I love that desk. 239 00:11:31,157 --> 00:11:33,387 What did you do, ransack the place after she died? 240 00:11:33,557 --> 00:11:35,787 This is some fine mutton. 241 00:11:35,957 --> 00:11:37,868 You know what? I'm getting out of here. 242 00:11:38,397 --> 00:11:39,830 Can I borrow your jacket? 243 00:11:39,997 --> 00:11:42,227 - Well, the thing is- - It's cold out, okay? 244 00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:44,115 I didn't bring my own, okay? Jerry. 245 00:11:44,277 --> 00:11:45,869 Jerry! 246 00:11:46,037 --> 00:11:47,948 God forbid I should borrow one from Holly. 247 00:11:48,277 --> 00:11:50,347 It might have belonged to Grandma Mema. 248 00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,390 Thanks for mutton. 249 00:11:58,477 --> 00:12:00,672 Nice doggy. 250 00:12:00,837 --> 00:12:02,156 I'm a nice person. 251 00:12:02,317 --> 00:12:03,636 Don't believe what you hear. 252 00:12:03,797 --> 00:12:07,551 I love dogs. I really do. 253 00:12:08,357 --> 00:12:10,791 - Where are the napkins? - What? 254 00:12:10,957 --> 00:12:14,029 Grandma Mema's napkins. Two are missing. 255 00:12:15,237 --> 00:12:16,511 Elaine took them, didn't she? 256 00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:18,948 I don't know about that. 257 00:12:19,117 --> 00:12:21,870 - Have you got any floss? - You heard her. She coveted them. 258 00:12:22,037 --> 00:12:23,948 I bet she took them just to spite me. 259 00:12:24,117 --> 00:12:26,187 She's probably having a laugh about it right now. 260 00:12:27,317 --> 00:12:29,114 Down, doggy! 261 00:12:40,997 --> 00:12:42,715 What are you doing in this neighbourhood? 262 00:12:42,877 --> 00:12:45,232 - Did you hide the dogs? - Yeah, they're in the kitchen. 263 00:12:45,957 --> 00:12:49,552 It's okay. Okay. Quiet! 264 00:12:50,677 --> 00:12:51,951 - What's going on? - Oh, God. 265 00:12:52,117 --> 00:12:53,345 These dogs were chasing me. 266 00:12:53,517 --> 00:12:54,666 And no cabs were stopping. 267 00:12:54,837 --> 00:12:57,305 I had to get off the street. I remembered you lived here. 268 00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:58,830 Why were dogs chasing you? 269 00:12:58,997 --> 00:13:01,192 They just don't like me. It's a long story. 270 00:13:01,357 --> 00:13:03,712 I can tell you about it someday, but not right now. 271 00:13:04,077 --> 00:13:07,752 I would ask you to stay, but I only have the sofa bed, and it's where I sleep. 272 00:13:09,717 --> 00:13:11,628 Well, we'll have to sleep head-to-toe. 273 00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:14,027 - Head-to-toe? - Head-to-toe. 274 00:13:35,597 --> 00:13:38,907 Hey, wake up. 275 00:13:40,437 --> 00:13:43,270 It's 8:30. You were supposed to wake me up at 7: 15. 276 00:13:43,437 --> 00:13:47,112 I'm sorry. I didn't get any sleep. You kept kicking me in the face. 277 00:13:47,277 --> 00:13:49,427 You're a wake-up guy. Don't you have calls to make? 278 00:13:49,597 --> 00:13:51,747 I'll make them later. 279 00:13:58,917 --> 00:14:00,509 - Have you seen Morgan? - He's not here? 280 00:14:00,677 --> 00:14:01,871 No, he's late again. 281 00:14:02,037 --> 00:14:03,993 That's impossible. I got him a wake-up service. 282 00:14:04,157 --> 00:14:05,636 You don't have to cover for him. 283 00:14:05,797 --> 00:14:06,912 He's gonna be gone soon... 284 00:14:07,077 --> 00:14:09,511 ...and I'm gonna recommended you for his job. 285 00:14:09,677 --> 00:14:10,951 Gone? 286 00:14:11,477 --> 00:14:13,547 Sounds like all that winking got you a promotion. 287 00:14:13,717 --> 00:14:16,277 I don't want Morgan's job. He's got a lot of work to do. 288 00:14:16,437 --> 00:14:18,951 Hey, Elaine, your friend never woke up Mr. Morgan. 289 00:14:19,117 --> 00:14:21,233 Yeah, well, he was tired. He had feet in his face. 290 00:14:22,557 --> 00:14:25,071 My cousin Holly is completely insane. 291 00:14:25,237 --> 00:14:28,434 She keeps calling and accusing me of stealing her napkins. 292 00:14:28,597 --> 00:14:30,349 - Napkins? - I mean, why? 293 00:14:30,517 --> 00:14:32,269 Why would I take her stupid napkins? 294 00:14:32,437 --> 00:14:35,315 Because they were in the pockets of my jacket. 295 00:14:35,477 --> 00:14:36,671 - They were? - Yes. 296 00:14:36,837 --> 00:14:39,431 I was using them to spit out the mutton. 297 00:14:40,117 --> 00:14:41,675 You spit it out? 298 00:14:41,837 --> 00:14:45,068 I had dogs chasing me for that. 299 00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:48,357 I was almost mauled because of that mutton. 300 00:14:48,517 --> 00:14:50,235 - What exactly is mutton? - I don't know. 301 00:14:50,397 --> 00:14:52,433 And I didn't wanna find out. 302 00:14:52,597 --> 00:14:54,030 So where's my jacket? 303 00:14:55,837 --> 00:14:57,236 I must have left it at James'. 304 00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,627 Spent the night at James', did we? 305 00:14:59,797 --> 00:15:02,516 Yeah, but we reversed positions, so there was no funny business. 306 00:15:03,157 --> 00:15:06,354 - Reversed positions? - Yeah, you know, head-to-toe. 307 00:15:07,837 --> 00:15:11,307 So what? Your genitals are still lined up. 308 00:15:13,597 --> 00:15:16,111 No, because I slept with my back to him. 309 00:15:22,517 --> 00:15:23,745 - Mr. O'Neill? - Yeah. 310 00:15:23,917 --> 00:15:25,669 Yeah, look, you don't know me. 311 00:15:25,837 --> 00:15:27,748 All right. I can give you an autograph here... 312 00:15:27,917 --> 00:15:31,956 ...but my pen's kind of screwed up and you'll probably only get, like, half a P. 313 00:15:32,117 --> 00:15:34,312 No, it's not that. It's about a boy in the hospital. 314 00:15:34,477 --> 00:15:37,196 I was wondering if you could do something to lift his spirits. 315 00:15:37,357 --> 00:15:40,429 - I can help you there. - I promised you'd hit two home runs. 316 00:15:40,597 --> 00:15:42,952 - You what? - Yeah, you know, a couple of dingers. 317 00:15:43,117 --> 00:15:45,711 You promised a kid in the hospital I'd hit two home runs? 318 00:15:45,877 --> 00:15:48,186 - Yeah, what? No good? - No, it's no good. It's terrible. 319 00:15:48,357 --> 00:15:49,836 You don't hit home runs like that. 320 00:15:49,997 --> 00:15:52,352 It's hard to hit home runs. Where did you get two from? 321 00:15:52,517 --> 00:15:54,348 Well, two is better than one. 322 00:15:54,517 --> 00:15:56,747 That's ridiculous. I'm not a home-run hitter. 323 00:15:56,917 --> 00:15:58,987 - Well, Babe Ruth did it. - He did not. 324 00:15:59,157 --> 00:16:00,909 You're saying that Babe Ruth was a liar? 325 00:16:01,077 --> 00:16:04,194 I'm not calling him a liar, but he wasn't stupid enough to promise two. 326 00:16:04,357 --> 00:16:06,507 Well, maybe I did overextend myself. 327 00:16:06,677 --> 00:16:08,269 How did you get in here anyway? 328 00:16:11,077 --> 00:16:14,706 Oh, hi, Elaine. You know, I lost all of my 6:30 clients because of you. 329 00:16:14,877 --> 00:16:18,028 Yeah, well, why did you have to stick your feet in my face? 330 00:16:18,517 --> 00:16:21,236 Yes, I have the jacket. Hold on. 331 00:16:23,037 --> 00:16:24,436 Fellas. 332 00:16:25,077 --> 00:16:26,430 What do you got? 333 00:16:28,917 --> 00:16:32,114 The Yank ees tak e the field on a beautiful afternoon. 334 00:16:32,277 --> 00:16:34,313 It's hot in here. 335 00:16:34,477 --> 00:16:37,071 Hey, Bobby, can I have some of your juice? 336 00:16:37,637 --> 00:16:39,867 After Paul O'Neill hits his first home run. 337 00:16:46,397 --> 00:16:47,796 - Yeah? - It's Holy. 338 00:16:47,957 --> 00:16:52,428 - Come on up. - And the two-and-one pitch to O'Neil. 339 00:16:52,597 --> 00:16:55,907 Towering shot to deep right field, and it's gone! 340 00:16:56,117 --> 00:16:58,790 - Yeah! - A home run for Paul O'Neil. 341 00:16:58,957 --> 00:17:02,393 - The Yanks lead 1-nothing. - Oh, yeah! 342 00:17:02,557 --> 00:17:04,309 All right. 343 00:17:04,477 --> 00:17:05,705 Yeah. 344 00:17:06,237 --> 00:17:07,465 One more to go. 345 00:17:09,717 --> 00:17:11,594 Hey, what's all this? 346 00:17:11,757 --> 00:17:13,987 I decided I'm gonna make you dinner. 347 00:17:14,157 --> 00:17:15,636 Oh, I thought we were going out. 348 00:17:15,797 --> 00:17:17,355 After you scarfed up my mutton... 349 00:17:17,517 --> 00:17:20,190 ...I had the irresistible urge to make pork chops for you. 350 00:17:21,877 --> 00:17:23,549 Well, I said hello to Franco for you. 351 00:17:24,517 --> 00:17:26,826 - Franco? - Your butcher down the street. 352 00:17:29,197 --> 00:17:31,313 I bet he acted all aloof like he didn't know me. 353 00:17:31,477 --> 00:17:35,072 - A little. - That is so Franco. 354 00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:38,834 Bottom of the eighth. Score tied at 1 apiece. 355 00:17:38,997 --> 00:17:41,465 Two and one to Paul O'Neil. 356 00:17:41,637 --> 00:17:45,391 Bobby, it's hard to hit two home runs in one game, even for Paul O'Neill. 357 00:17:45,557 --> 00:17:47,036 He can do it, Mr. Kramer. 358 00:17:47,197 --> 00:17:49,552 I know he can. He'll do it for me. 359 00:17:50,077 --> 00:17:55,629 Long fly bal into deep left field, and it drops just over Bele's head. 360 00:17:55,797 --> 00:17:58,948 O'Neil's rounding second, the bal roling back to the wal. 361 00:17:59,117 --> 00:18:01,028 - O'Neil heading for third. - Come on! 362 00:18:01,197 --> 00:18:03,870 O'Neil rounds third, being waved in. 363 00:18:04,037 --> 00:18:05,231 Yeah! Go! Go! 364 00:18:05,397 --> 00:18:08,833 And Martinez throws it over Alomar's head. 365 00:18:08,997 --> 00:18:12,273 O'Neil is safe at home, the Yank ees tak e the lead. 366 00:18:13,157 --> 00:18:14,954 Inside-the-park home run! 367 00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:18,026 - Yes, he did it. - All right. 368 00:18:18,197 --> 00:18:19,789 Yeah, well, I guess I'll be on my way. 369 00:18:19,957 --> 00:18:22,949 Now, that's being scored a triple for Paul O'Neil... 370 00:18:23,117 --> 00:18:26,393 ...with a throwing error charged to Martinez. 371 00:18:26,557 --> 00:18:27,751 Hey. 372 00:18:27,917 --> 00:18:29,396 That's not a home run. 373 00:18:29,557 --> 00:18:31,036 Well, maybe not technically, but- 374 00:18:31,197 --> 00:18:32,994 You said he would hit two home runs. 375 00:18:33,157 --> 00:18:35,625 Come on, Bobby. Bobby, that's just as good. 376 00:18:35,797 --> 00:18:38,789 - Well, you're not taking that card. - Now, Bobby, Bobby. We had a deal. 377 00:18:38,957 --> 00:18:41,232 Come on, give me that. 378 00:18:41,397 --> 00:18:43,957 So is the chop the way you like it? 379 00:18:44,117 --> 00:18:46,187 I usually like mine with an angioplasty. 380 00:18:54,357 --> 00:18:56,268 Something really stinks to high- 381 00:18:56,437 --> 00:18:58,348 Holly. 382 00:18:58,517 --> 00:18:59,711 What are you doing here? 383 00:18:59,877 --> 00:19:01,868 What everyone does here. Cooking pork chops. 384 00:19:02,597 --> 00:19:04,667 Listen, I'm meeting James here. 385 00:19:04,837 --> 00:19:06,350 He's bringing over your jacket. 386 00:19:06,517 --> 00:19:08,314 - And what about the napkins? - Oh, God. 387 00:19:08,477 --> 00:19:10,195 I didn't take your napkins. 388 00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:12,552 - Then who did? - Ask Jerry. 389 00:19:12,717 --> 00:19:14,992 Hey, we can argue all night over who took the napkins. 390 00:19:15,157 --> 00:19:19,070 The point is, in today's modern world, it just doesn't seem relevant. 391 00:19:20,077 --> 00:19:22,671 I still wanna know what happened to that birthday card. 392 00:19:22,837 --> 00:19:26,193 - Now, Morgan, did you ever sign it? - No, sir. George never gave it to me. 393 00:19:26,357 --> 00:19:27,551 That's right. I didn't. 394 00:19:27,717 --> 00:19:30,311 I take full responsibility for the card not being here, I- 395 00:19:30,477 --> 00:19:32,593 - I got it. - What's this? 396 00:19:32,757 --> 00:19:35,715 Oh, it's a birthday card. Yeah. 397 00:19:36,557 --> 00:19:38,115 George, by the way, tomorrow night... 398 00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:40,871 ...Paul O'Neill has to catch a fly ball in his hat. 399 00:19:42,397 --> 00:19:44,865 George, this is beautiful. 400 00:19:45,037 --> 00:19:47,312 Why didn't you tell me you were gonna have it mounted? 401 00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:50,196 Yeah, you were probably just gonna stick it in an envelope. 402 00:19:53,077 --> 00:19:55,796 George, keep up the good work. 403 00:19:57,317 --> 00:20:00,195 Well, you screwed me again, Costanza. 404 00:20:00,357 --> 00:20:02,154 How am I supposed to sign the card now, huh? 405 00:20:02,317 --> 00:20:03,636 It's already under glass. 406 00:20:06,837 --> 00:20:08,270 Hi, James. Oh, this is- 407 00:20:08,757 --> 00:20:11,317 Excuse me. What are those dogs wearing? 408 00:20:11,477 --> 00:20:13,786 Oh, bandanas. Aren't they cute? 409 00:20:13,957 --> 00:20:16,187 You gave Mema's napkins to some dogs? 410 00:20:16,637 --> 00:20:18,036 Hey, what happened to my jacket? 411 00:20:18,197 --> 00:20:20,427 Oh, the dogs did that, but it wasn't their fault. 412 00:20:20,597 --> 00:20:22,792 Somebody stuffed some strange meat in the pockets. 413 00:20:22,957 --> 00:20:25,551 - Was it mutton? - Could have been. 414 00:20:25,717 --> 00:20:27,708 You always stuff meat in your pockets? 415 00:20:29,717 --> 00:20:32,106 Sometimes I use the sofa. 416 00:20:36,317 --> 00:20:37,636 You wanted to see me? 417 00:20:37,797 --> 00:20:39,594 Yes, George. Please, come in, come in. 418 00:20:39,757 --> 00:20:42,032 Thanks for the card. I loved it. It made me feel good. 419 00:20:42,197 --> 00:20:44,267 Word has it you were the brains behind the thing. 420 00:20:44,437 --> 00:20:46,871 No, no, not just me. The whole organization. 421 00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:48,231 Especially Mr. Morgan. 422 00:20:48,397 --> 00:20:50,957 Morgan, Morgan. You know, his name is absent from this card. 423 00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:52,914 Like he went out of his way not to sign it. 424 00:20:53,077 --> 00:20:54,749 Oh, no, Morgan is a good man, sir. 425 00:20:54,917 --> 00:20:57,067 You can stop. Congratulations, you've got his job. 426 00:20:57,557 --> 00:21:00,594 Well, thank you, sir. You know, I'm not quite sure I'm right for it. 427 00:21:00,757 --> 00:21:02,429 It's done, George. He's out, you're in. 428 00:21:02,597 --> 00:21:03,950 - It's a lot more work. - I know. 429 00:21:04,117 --> 00:21:05,550 A lot more responsibility. 430 00:21:05,717 --> 00:21:07,355 - Long, long hours. - I know. 431 00:21:07,517 --> 00:21:08,996 Not much more money. 432 00:21:09,157 --> 00:21:11,625 But you'll finally get the recognition you deserve. 433 00:21:11,797 --> 00:21:13,025 That's what I'm afraid of. 434 00:21:13,197 --> 00:21:14,346 You know, Mr. Steinbrenner- 435 00:21:14,517 --> 00:21:17,748 George, as painful as it is, I've had to let a few people go over the years. 436 00:21:17,917 --> 00:21:20,556 Yogi Berra, Lou Piniella... 437 00:21:20,717 --> 00:21:23,311 ...Bucky Dent, Billy Martin... 438 00:21:23,477 --> 00:21:24,796 ...Dallas Green... 439 00:21:24,957 --> 00:21:26,788 ...Dick Hauser, Bill Virdon... 440 00:21:26,957 --> 00:21:28,470 ...Billy Martin... 441 00:21:28,637 --> 00:21:30,787 ...Stump Merrill, Billy Martin... 442 00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:33,232 ...Bob Lemon, Billy Martin... 443 00:21:33,397 --> 00:21:35,467 ...Gene Michael, Buck Showalter- 444 00:21:35,637 --> 00:21:37,548 George, you didn't hear that from me. 445 00:21:37,717 --> 00:21:39,355 George!