1 00:00:02,697 --> 00:00:03,686 People can be so vain. 2 00:00:05,217 --> 00:00:07,685 I have a friend, wears eyeglasses, no prescription... 3 00:00:07,857 --> 00:00:09,848 ...because he thinks he looks more intelligent. 4 00:00:10,017 --> 00:00:12,087 Now, why? Why do we think... 5 00:00:12,257 --> 00:00:14,817 ...that glasses makes us look more intelligent? 6 00:00:14,977 --> 00:00:18,014 Is it from the endless hours of reading and studying and researching... 7 00:00:18,177 --> 00:00:20,816 ...that this person supposedly blew out their eyeballs? 8 00:00:20,977 --> 00:00:23,537 And that's why they need the glasses? 9 00:00:23,697 --> 00:00:26,575 It's a corrective device. If you see someone with a hearing aid... 10 00:00:26,737 --> 00:00:29,490 ...you don't think, "Oh, they must have been listening real good. 11 00:00:29,657 --> 00:00:33,616 Yeah, to a lot of important stuff." No, they're deaf. 12 00:00:34,097 --> 00:00:35,416 They can't hear. 13 00:00:38,817 --> 00:00:40,535 - Hey, boys and girls. - Hey. 14 00:00:40,697 --> 00:00:43,165 I need you both to sponsor me in the AIDS Walk. 15 00:00:43,337 --> 00:00:46,807 - Isn't that tomorrow? - Yeah, yeah. So get... Get... 16 00:00:46,977 --> 00:00:49,969 Well, I admire you for joining the fight against AIDS. 17 00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:53,447 Yeah, well, if I didn't do something, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. 18 00:00:53,617 --> 00:00:56,006 It's hard enough living next door. 19 00:00:56,377 --> 00:00:58,254 Some people, they just wear a ribbon... 20 00:00:58,417 --> 00:01:00,533 ...and they think they're doing something. Not me. 21 00:01:00,697 --> 00:01:03,291 I talk the talk and I walk the walk, baby. 22 00:01:04,577 --> 00:01:06,374 Yeah, I'm gonna be right back. 23 00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:10,893 - New jeans? - Yeah. 24 00:01:11,057 --> 00:01:13,696 - Still a 31 waist? - Yep, since college. 25 00:01:15,017 --> 00:01:18,726 - Hey, Lena Small is on this list. - Lena Small? 26 00:01:18,897 --> 00:01:23,209 Yeah, that girl I was gonna call for a date, she was unlisted... 27 00:01:23,377 --> 00:01:26,369 ...and now here's her number. - Oh, you're not gonna... 28 00:01:26,537 --> 00:01:30,325 ...cop a girl's phone number off an AIDS charity list. 29 00:01:30,497 --> 00:01:34,172 Elaine, you should admire me. I'm aspiring to date a giving person. 30 00:01:34,497 --> 00:01:36,931 - But you're a taking person. - That's why I should date... 31 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,133 ...a giving person. If I date a taking person... 32 00:01:39,297 --> 00:01:42,494 ... everyone's taking, taking, taking. No one's giving. It's bedlam. 33 00:01:42,657 --> 00:01:44,613 She's gonna ask how you got her number. 34 00:01:44,777 --> 00:01:48,133 Oh, I'll tell her I met some guy who knew her and he gave it to me. 35 00:01:48,297 --> 00:01:50,492 - What's he look like? - I didn't pay much attention. 36 00:01:50,657 --> 00:01:52,568 I'd just come from buying a speedboat. 37 00:01:52,897 --> 00:01:55,695 - You're buying a speedboat? - See, we're already off the subject... 38 00:01:55,857 --> 00:01:57,290 ...of how I got her number. 39 00:01:57,457 --> 00:02:00,096 All I do is get past the first phone call and I'm home free. 40 00:02:00,257 --> 00:02:02,373 - I don't know. - Lf Billy got your number... 41 00:02:02,537 --> 00:02:05,210 ...off the AIDS Walk list, you wouldn't have gone out with him? 42 00:02:05,377 --> 00:02:06,651 - Well... - Yeah. 43 00:02:07,097 --> 00:02:10,328 - So you really like this guy? - Very much. 44 00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:15,048 - How's the sexual chemistry? - Haven't been in the lab yet. 45 00:02:15,857 --> 00:02:18,325 But I am birth-control shopping today. 46 00:02:19,217 --> 00:02:21,890 - Are you still on the pill? - Oh, Kramer... 47 00:02:22,057 --> 00:02:25,049 No, I think birth control should be discussed in an open forum. 48 00:02:25,337 --> 00:02:27,328 - The Sponge, okay? - Sponge? 49 00:02:27,497 --> 00:02:29,055 The Today Sponge. 50 00:02:29,537 --> 00:02:31,255 But wasn't that taken off the market? 51 00:02:31,697 --> 00:02:34,211 Off the market? The Sponge? No, no. No way. 52 00:02:34,377 --> 00:02:37,608 - Everybody loves the Sponge. - I read it in Wa// Street Week. 53 00:02:37,777 --> 00:02:39,369 Louis Rukeyser. 54 00:02:42,497 --> 00:02:45,773 Hello, Lena? Hi, it's Jerry Seinfeld. 55 00:02:45,937 --> 00:02:47,609 How did I get your number? 56 00:02:47,777 --> 00:02:50,530 I met a guy that knows you, he gave it to me. 57 00:02:50,897 --> 00:02:54,094 I don't remember his name. I think it began with a W, maybe a Q. 58 00:02:54,737 --> 00:02:57,171 I wasn't paying attention. I'd just come from shopping... 59 00:02:57,337 --> 00:02:58,770 ...for a speedboat. 60 00:03:00,377 --> 00:03:03,050 You know, I really like those new jeans Jerry was wearing. 61 00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:05,128 He's really thin. 62 00:03:06,657 --> 00:03:08,773 Not as thin as you think. 63 00:03:09,097 --> 00:03:12,806 Why? He's a 31. I saw the tag on the back. 64 00:03:13,097 --> 00:03:14,974 The tag, huh? 65 00:03:15,977 --> 00:03:18,411 Let me tell you something about that tag. 66 00:03:18,737 --> 00:03:23,049 It's no 31, and let's just leave it at that. 67 00:03:23,857 --> 00:03:26,246 What are you talking about? 68 00:03:26,737 --> 00:03:30,332 He scratches off a 32 and he puts in "31." 69 00:03:30,497 --> 00:03:33,569 What? Oh, how could he be so vain? 70 00:03:33,737 --> 00:03:36,729 Well, this is the Jerry Seinfeld that only I know. 71 00:03:38,097 --> 00:03:40,850 - I can't believe I just told you that. - Why not? 72 00:03:41,017 --> 00:03:43,087 Well, Jerry doesn't want anyone to know. 73 00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:45,487 It's all right, I'm your fiancée. Everyone assumes... 74 00:03:45,657 --> 00:03:47,375 ...you'll tell me everything. 75 00:03:48,377 --> 00:03:51,767 - Where did you get that from? - Well, we're a couple. It's understood. 76 00:03:52,737 --> 00:03:55,205 - I never heard of that. - Well, you've never been a couple. 77 00:03:55,377 --> 00:03:56,856 I've coupled. I've coupled. 78 00:03:57,497 --> 00:03:59,453 Keeping secrets. 79 00:03:59,617 --> 00:04:02,415 This is just like your secret bank code. 80 00:04:02,577 --> 00:04:06,092 This is totally different. That was my secret. This is Jerry's secret. 81 00:04:06,257 --> 00:04:08,487 There's attorney- client privileges here. 82 00:04:08,657 --> 00:04:11,569 If I play it by your rule, no one will ever confide in me again. 83 00:04:11,737 --> 00:04:13,773 I'll be cut out of the loop. 84 00:04:15,897 --> 00:04:17,774 - Hey. - Hey. 85 00:04:18,017 --> 00:04:20,485 - What's the matter? - I had a fight with Susan. 86 00:04:20,657 --> 00:04:21,931 What about? 87 00:04:23,657 --> 00:04:25,613 Clothing something, I don't know... 88 00:04:26,097 --> 00:04:29,373 - So, what are you doing tonight? - I got a date with that girl Lena. 89 00:04:29,777 --> 00:04:33,213 - Lena? How did you meet her? - I actually met her a few weeks ago... 90 00:04:33,377 --> 00:04:35,129 ...but... 91 00:04:37,497 --> 00:04:42,571 Jerry got Lena's unlisted number from Kramer's AIDS Walk list. 92 00:04:42,737 --> 00:04:46,730 Monica, Jerry got Lena's unlisted number off of an AIDS Walk list. 93 00:04:46,897 --> 00:04:49,457 He got her number off an AIDS Walk list? 94 00:04:52,577 --> 00:04:54,408 You met her a few weeks ago, but? 95 00:04:54,577 --> 00:04:57,216 I didn't call her till today. 96 00:05:00,537 --> 00:05:02,732 So, wanna double? 97 00:05:02,897 --> 00:05:05,206 - What? - Well, you know, I just had a fight. 98 00:05:05,377 --> 00:05:06,810 I need a group dynamic. 99 00:05:07,337 --> 00:05:09,055 - I don't know. - Hey. 100 00:05:09,217 --> 00:05:11,447 - Hey. - Well, Kramer was right. 101 00:05:11,617 --> 00:05:13,926 My friend Kim told me the Sponge is off the market. 102 00:05:14,097 --> 00:05:15,769 - What are you gonna do? - I'll tell you. 103 00:05:15,937 --> 00:05:19,009 I'm gonna do a hard target search of every drug store, general store... 104 00:05:19,177 --> 00:05:22,647 ...health store, grocery store in a 25 block radius: 105 00:05:23,697 --> 00:05:24,891 Just for these Sponges? 106 00:05:25,137 --> 00:05:27,731 Hey, women are really loyal to their birth-control methods. 107 00:05:27,897 --> 00:05:31,207 - What does Susan use? - I don't know. 108 00:05:32,977 --> 00:05:35,366 - You don't now? - I... 109 00:05:36,017 --> 00:05:37,894 Figure it's something. 110 00:05:42,897 --> 00:05:46,412 - What are you all out of breath from? - The elevator just broke. 111 00:05:46,657 --> 00:05:49,091 I had to walk up five flights. 112 00:05:49,257 --> 00:05:52,408 And you got the AIDS Walk tomorrow. 113 00:05:52,577 --> 00:05:54,807 You're never gonna make it. You're in horrible shape. 114 00:05:54,977 --> 00:05:58,014 - I'm in tiptop shape. - Tiptop? 115 00:05:58,177 --> 00:06:01,613 - Better than you. - I got a 31 waist, mister. 116 00:06:02,457 --> 00:06:04,573 Well, I'm walking for charity. What are you doing? 117 00:06:04,737 --> 00:06:09,049 What am I doing? I'm dating a woman who happens to be sponsoring... 118 00:06:09,217 --> 00:06:11,447 ...one of these walkers. 119 00:06:13,897 --> 00:06:16,365 Do you have any Today Sponges? 120 00:06:22,297 --> 00:06:24,970 Do you carry Today Sponges? 121 00:06:27,897 --> 00:06:31,048 - Can I help you? - Do you have any Today Sponges? 122 00:06:31,217 --> 00:06:34,653 - I know they're off the market... - Actually, we have a case left. 123 00:06:34,817 --> 00:06:37,854 A case? A case of Sponges? 124 00:06:38,377 --> 00:06:42,336 I mean, a case. 125 00:06:46,857 --> 00:06:49,212 How many come in a case? 126 00:06:49,377 --> 00:06:50,856 Sixty. 127 00:06:51,177 --> 00:06:52,974 Sixty? 128 00:06:55,097 --> 00:06:57,008 - Well, I'll take three. - Three? 129 00:06:57,177 --> 00:06:59,372 Yeah. Make it 10. 130 00:06:59,737 --> 00:07:02,854 - Ten? - Twenty Sponges should be plenty. 131 00:07:03,977 --> 00:07:06,889 - Did you say 20? - Yeah, 25 Sponges is just fine. 132 00:07:07,057 --> 00:07:08,809 - Twenty-five? - Yeah. 133 00:07:08,977 --> 00:07:11,013 - You're set with 25? - Yeah. Yeah. 134 00:07:11,177 --> 00:07:13,771 Just give me the whole case, I'll be on my way. 135 00:07:17,457 --> 00:07:21,211 Hey, I have found the best-smelling detergent. Lena, smell my shirt. 136 00:07:22,497 --> 00:07:24,806 - Very nice. - It's All TempaCheer. 137 00:07:26,777 --> 00:07:28,813 I use Planet. It's biodegradable... 138 00:07:28,977 --> 00:07:30,569 ...and it doesn't pollute the oceans. 139 00:07:30,737 --> 00:07:33,456 Yeah, the oceans are really getting very sudsy. 140 00:07:34,577 --> 00:07:38,092 Can you wrap up all the leftovers on the table, please? 141 00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:40,089 I always take the leftovers. 142 00:07:40,257 --> 00:07:43,329 I work in a soup kitchen every morning at 6 a.m. 143 00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:45,852 They serve soup at 6 a. M? 144 00:07:46,017 --> 00:07:48,008 Yeah, that's all they have. 145 00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:51,169 Do the bums ever complain, "Soup again?" 146 00:07:51,337 --> 00:07:53,134 - I'd get tired of it. - How could you not? 147 00:07:53,297 --> 00:07:56,972 - Guess who volunteered last week. - Mick Jagger. 148 00:07:57,897 --> 00:07:59,296 No. 149 00:07:59,537 --> 00:08:01,926 - Maya Angelou. - Oh, the poet. 150 00:08:02,257 --> 00:08:06,375 So let me ask you something. These people eat soup three times a day? 151 00:08:06,537 --> 00:08:08,414 - I don't know. - Did you get to talk to her? 152 00:08:08,577 --> 00:08:10,727 - Talk to who? - Is it a lot of cream soups? 153 00:08:10,897 --> 00:08:13,855 - Maya Angelou, the poet. - No, I didn't get the chance. 154 00:08:14,017 --> 00:08:17,089 You know, I'm sure you can reach her. She's a poet, you know. 155 00:08:17,257 --> 00:08:19,293 What does a poet need an unlisted number for? 156 00:08:20,217 --> 00:08:23,527 - I'm going to the ladies' room. - I'll go with you. 157 00:08:25,377 --> 00:08:26,890 Why are you looking at me like that? 158 00:08:27,057 --> 00:08:29,173 Why did you have to mention "unlisted number"? 159 00:08:29,337 --> 00:08:31,851 - What are you talking about? - I gotta tell you something... 160 00:08:32,017 --> 00:08:33,575 ...but you cannot tell Susan. 161 00:08:36,737 --> 00:08:40,491 Jerry got her phone number off of an AIDS Walk list? 162 00:08:40,657 --> 00:08:42,852 - Oh, that's awful. - I know, but don't say anything. 163 00:08:43,017 --> 00:08:44,575 He told me not to tell you. 164 00:08:44,737 --> 00:08:46,216 But you told me anyway? 165 00:08:46,697 --> 00:08:49,575 Well, you know, I was thinking about what you said before... 166 00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:53,616 ...and you're right, I've never really been a couple, so if that's the rule... 167 00:08:53,777 --> 00:08:56,245 ...l'm gonna go by the rule. - Thank you, honey. 168 00:08:56,977 --> 00:09:01,528 So you wanna go home and make up officially? 169 00:09:01,897 --> 00:09:04,491 - Can we stop by a drug store first? - What for? 170 00:09:04,737 --> 00:09:06,090 I'm out of birth control stuff. 171 00:09:06,257 --> 00:09:08,213 Oh, yeah. 172 00:09:08,377 --> 00:09:11,210 - Where am I gonna park? - No, don't park. I'll just sit in the car. 173 00:09:11,377 --> 00:09:15,006 - You can run in. - Me run in? Why don't you run in? 174 00:09:15,177 --> 00:09:17,452 You don't know what I use for birth control, do you? 175 00:09:17,857 --> 00:09:20,974 - Of course I do. - You do? What? 176 00:09:21,297 --> 00:09:25,131 - You know, you use the: - The what? 177 00:09:25,297 --> 00:09:27,686 You know, the: 178 00:09:27,857 --> 00:09:29,529 Just get me some Sponges, please. 179 00:09:29,697 --> 00:09:32,416 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. They don't have them anymore. 180 00:09:32,577 --> 00:09:34,693 - What? - I just found out they're off the market. 181 00:09:34,857 --> 00:09:37,690 - Off the market? The Sponge? - So you gotta use something else. 182 00:09:37,857 --> 00:09:41,736 I can't. I love the Sponge. I need the Sponge. 183 00:09:43,097 --> 00:09:44,689 Okay. 184 00:09:45,657 --> 00:09:47,852 I think I know where we can get one. 185 00:09:56,537 --> 00:09:58,607 Kramer, what the hell is going on in here? 186 00:09:58,777 --> 00:10:02,406 It's a poker game. And I'm kicking some serious butt! 187 00:10:02,577 --> 00:10:05,011 Are you out of your mind? You got the AIDS Walk tomorrow. 188 00:10:05,177 --> 00:10:08,487 - Hey, Kramer, are you in? - Oh, you gotta be kidding... 189 00:10:08,657 --> 00:10:12,286 You see those two ladies I got showing? Do they look scared? 190 00:10:12,457 --> 00:10:14,812 - What were you saying? - You're never gonna make it. 191 00:10:18,017 --> 00:10:20,485 Let's go! Let's go! Rack them up! Come on! 192 00:10:25,617 --> 00:10:27,335 Do you? 193 00:10:27,857 --> 00:10:30,166 Do you wanna go in the bedroom? 194 00:10:32,737 --> 00:10:33,965 Okay. 195 00:10:34,137 --> 00:10:36,128 - Hold on just a second. - Okay. 196 00:10:39,337 --> 00:10:41,089 Elaine, it's me, George. 197 00:10:44,937 --> 00:10:46,893 - Hey, sorry to bother you so late. - Yeah. 198 00:10:47,057 --> 00:10:48,809 Hey, how you doing? 199 00:10:49,217 --> 00:10:52,095 - Did you get any of those Sponges? - Yeah. 200 00:10:52,417 --> 00:10:54,885 Cleaned out the whole West Side. 201 00:10:57,137 --> 00:10:58,570 Why? 202 00:10:59,177 --> 00:11:02,408 - Well, Susan. - Oh, Susan uses the Sponge. 203 00:11:02,577 --> 00:11:05,455 - Susan loves the Sponge. - Yeah, I'm sorry, George. 204 00:11:05,617 --> 00:11:07,847 - I can't help you out. - What? 205 00:11:08,017 --> 00:11:10,167 I can't do it. No way. There's no how. 206 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,487 Wait... Elaine. Let me explain something to you. 207 00:11:12,657 --> 00:11:15,046 You see, this is not just a weekend routine. 208 00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:17,048 I'm on the verge of make- up sex here. 209 00:11:17,217 --> 00:11:18,855 - You know about make- up sex? - Oh, yeah. 210 00:11:19,017 --> 00:11:22,214 George, I know all about make- up sex and I'm really sorry. 211 00:11:22,377 --> 00:11:23,605 But, Elaine... 212 00:11:23,777 --> 00:11:26,575 Elaine, can I just explain something to you very privately. 213 00:11:26,737 --> 00:11:30,013 Susan and I have been together many, many times now... 214 00:11:30,177 --> 00:11:33,249 ...and just between you and me, there's really no big surprises here... 215 00:11:33,417 --> 00:11:36,215 ...so make- up sex is all that I have left. 216 00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:41,376 I'm sure you'll have another fight, George. 217 00:11:44,817 --> 00:11:46,250 Hold that thought. 218 00:12:00,537 --> 00:12:02,050 Oh, so listen to this. 219 00:12:02,377 --> 00:12:04,129 But don't tell anyone. 220 00:12:04,297 --> 00:12:07,175 Jerry Seinfeld, he got a woman's number... 221 00:12:07,337 --> 00:12:09,453 ...off an AIDS Walk list. 222 00:12:09,617 --> 00:12:12,415 He got her number off an AIDS Walk list? 223 00:12:12,577 --> 00:12:14,568 He what? 224 00:12:18,297 --> 00:12:19,855 How did you find out? 225 00:12:20,177 --> 00:12:22,691 A friend of a friend of a friend knows Susan. 226 00:12:22,857 --> 00:12:25,087 - George! - Pardon? 227 00:12:25,657 --> 00:12:28,808 - Pardon? - Nothing. Listen, I'm sorry. I just... 228 00:12:28,977 --> 00:12:32,572 It's okay. There's nothing to be sorry about. I don't mind. 229 00:12:33,137 --> 00:12:35,697 You don't mind that I got your number off the AIDS Walk list? 230 00:12:35,857 --> 00:12:38,769 No, not at all. No problem. 231 00:12:45,137 --> 00:12:47,014 Call me later, okay? 232 00:12:49,497 --> 00:12:53,536 You're lucky you're walking out of here with a pair of pants on! 233 00:12:54,617 --> 00:12:56,573 Kramer, you went all night? 234 00:12:56,737 --> 00:13:00,491 - Jerry, breakfast on me. - Kramer, are you out of your mind? 235 00:13:00,657 --> 00:13:02,295 You got the AIDS Walk in three hours. 236 00:13:02,457 --> 00:13:05,096 - You're never gonna make it. - AIDS Walk, that's a cake walk. 237 00:13:05,257 --> 00:13:06,656 - Hey. - Hey, man. 238 00:13:09,537 --> 00:13:11,767 - So, George...? - Yeah. 239 00:13:12,497 --> 00:13:15,807 Guess what? Lena found out how I got her number. 240 00:13:17,137 --> 00:13:21,255 - Really? How did she do that? - A friend of a friend of Susan's. 241 00:13:21,617 --> 00:13:24,085 - My Susan? - Why did you tell her? 242 00:13:24,497 --> 00:13:27,694 I had to, Jerry. It's a couple rule. We have to tell each other everything. 243 00:13:27,857 --> 00:13:29,768 - You know what this means? - What? 244 00:13:29,937 --> 00:13:32,326 You're cut off! You're out of the loop! 245 00:13:33,417 --> 00:13:35,851 You're cutting me off? No, no, Jerry, don't cut me off. 246 00:13:36,017 --> 00:13:38,008 You leave me no choice. You're the media now... 247 00:13:38,177 --> 00:13:40,213 ...as far as I'm concerned. - Oh, Jerry, come on. 248 00:13:40,377 --> 00:13:41,730 Please, it won't happen again. 249 00:13:41,897 --> 00:13:44,969 If you were in the Mafia, would you tell her every time you killed someone? 250 00:13:45,137 --> 00:13:48,254 Hey, a hit is a totally different story. 251 00:13:48,417 --> 00:13:52,456 - I don't know, George. - So Lena was upset, huh? 252 00:13:52,617 --> 00:13:54,847 You know what, that was the amazing thing. 253 00:13:55,017 --> 00:13:57,690 - What? It didn't bother her? - No, she said it was fine. 254 00:13:57,857 --> 00:13:59,688 Something very strange about this girl. 255 00:13:59,857 --> 00:14:01,176 What? 256 00:14:01,937 --> 00:14:03,609 - She's too good. - Too good? 257 00:14:03,777 --> 00:14:06,575 I mean, she's giving and caring and generally concerned... 258 00:14:06,737 --> 00:14:10,366 ...about the welfare of others. I can't be with someone like that. 259 00:14:10,657 --> 00:14:12,932 - I see what you mean. - I admire the hell out of her. 260 00:14:13,097 --> 00:14:15,372 You can't have sex with someone you admire. 261 00:14:15,737 --> 00:14:17,967 - Where is the depravity? - No depravity. 262 00:14:18,137 --> 00:14:21,209 I mean, I look at her. I can't imagine she even has sex. 263 00:14:21,617 --> 00:14:23,812 On the other hand... 264 00:14:26,737 --> 00:14:29,934 - What? - Thanks again for last night. 265 00:14:30,097 --> 00:14:32,486 - Hey, I didn't even use one. - Yeah. 266 00:14:32,657 --> 00:14:34,568 - I thought you said it was imminent. - It was. 267 00:14:34,737 --> 00:14:38,935 But then I just couldn't decide if he was really spongeworthy. 268 00:14:40,217 --> 00:14:41,411 Spongeworthy? 269 00:14:41,577 --> 00:14:43,693 Yeah, Jerry, I have to conserve... 270 00:14:43,857 --> 00:14:45,609 ...these Sponges. - But you like this guy. 271 00:14:45,777 --> 00:14:47,608 - Isn't that what the Sponges are for? - Yes. 272 00:14:47,777 --> 00:14:50,814 Before they went off the market. But now I've got to re- evaluate... 273 00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,410 ...my whole screening process. 274 00:14:52,577 --> 00:14:54,886 I can't afford to waste any of them. 275 00:14:56,017 --> 00:14:58,690 You know, you're nuts with these Sponges. 276 00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:01,325 George is getting frustrated. 277 00:15:06,937 --> 00:15:08,814 Cosmo Kramer. 278 00:15:08,977 --> 00:15:10,695 - Okay. You're checked in. - Thank you. 279 00:15:10,857 --> 00:15:12,449 - Here's your AIDS ribbon. - No, thanks. 280 00:15:12,937 --> 00:15:14,734 - You don't wanna wear one? - No, no. 281 00:15:14,897 --> 00:15:17,127 - But you have to wear an AIDS ribbon. - I have to? 282 00:15:17,497 --> 00:15:19,613 - Yes. - See, that's why I don't want to. 283 00:15:19,777 --> 00:15:23,167 But everyone wears the ribbon. You must wear the ribbon. 284 00:15:24,417 --> 00:15:26,726 You know what you are? You're a ribbon bully. 285 00:15:26,897 --> 00:15:30,651 Hey! Hey, you, come back here! Come back here and put this on! 286 00:15:33,497 --> 00:15:36,773 Elaine and her Sponges. She's got like a war chest full of them. 287 00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:38,848 I don't see why you can't just use condoms. 288 00:15:39,257 --> 00:15:42,169 Oh, no, no. No, condoms are for single men. 289 00:15:42,337 --> 00:15:45,727 The day that we got engaged, I said goodbye to the condom forever. 290 00:15:46,417 --> 00:15:48,453 Just once, for the make- up sex. 291 00:15:48,617 --> 00:15:50,414 Make- up sex? You have to have that... 292 00:15:50,577 --> 00:15:52,488 ...right after the fight. We're way past that. 293 00:15:52,657 --> 00:15:54,852 - Come on, just once. - No, no, I hate the condom. 294 00:15:55,017 --> 00:15:56,655 Why? 295 00:15:56,817 --> 00:15:59,490 I can never get the package open in time. 296 00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:03,053 - Well, you just tear it open. - It's not that easy. 297 00:16:03,217 --> 00:16:05,777 It's like Beat the C/ock. There's a lot of pressure there. 298 00:16:09,617 --> 00:16:11,972 - Hey, where's your ribbon? - Oh, I don't wear the ribbon. 299 00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:14,651 You don't wear the ribbon? Aren't you against AIDS? 300 00:16:14,817 --> 00:16:17,889 Yeah, I'm against AIDS. I mean, I'm walking, aren't I? 301 00:16:18,057 --> 00:16:20,491 - I just don't wear the ribbon. - Who do you think you are? 302 00:16:20,657 --> 00:16:23,330 - Put the ribbon on. - Hey, Cedric, Bob. 303 00:16:23,497 --> 00:16:24,976 This guy won't wear a ribbon. 304 00:16:26,217 --> 00:16:29,129 Who? Who doesn't want to wear the ribbon? 305 00:16:32,937 --> 00:16:35,735 - So you think you're spongeworthy? - Yes, I think I'm spongeworthy. 306 00:16:35,897 --> 00:16:38,252 I think I'm very spongeworthy. 307 00:16:38,737 --> 00:16:41,695 Run down your case for me again. 308 00:16:41,857 --> 00:16:45,691 Well, we've gone out several times. We obviously have a good rapport. 309 00:16:45,857 --> 00:16:48,815 I own a very profitable electronics distributing firm. 310 00:16:48,977 --> 00:16:51,935 I eat well. I exercise. Blood tests, immaculate. 311 00:16:52,657 --> 00:16:56,969 And if I can speak frankly, I'm actually quite good at it. 312 00:16:59,057 --> 00:17:00,456 You gonna do something... 313 00:17:00,617 --> 00:17:02,926 ...about your sideburns? - Yeah, I told you. 314 00:17:03,417 --> 00:17:05,248 I'm gonna trim my sideburns. 315 00:17:05,537 --> 00:17:08,654 - And the bathroom in your apartment? - Cleaned it this morning. 316 00:17:08,817 --> 00:17:12,492 - The sink, the tub, everything clean? - Everything. It's spotless. 317 00:17:14,537 --> 00:17:16,767 - All right, let's go. - Okay. 318 00:17:22,577 --> 00:17:23,771 - Hi. - Hi. 319 00:17:24,337 --> 00:17:27,932 Hey, look at this. I just got a citation in the mail for my work with shut-ins. 320 00:17:28,097 --> 00:17:29,894 Oh, the shut-ins, that's nice. 321 00:17:30,057 --> 00:17:32,287 You know, they're a very eccentric group... 322 00:17:32,457 --> 00:17:36,291 ...because they're shut in. Of course, they're not locked in... 323 00:17:36,457 --> 00:17:38,254 ...they're free to go at any time. 324 00:17:38,657 --> 00:17:42,536 Oh, by the way, I checked at the soup kitchen, they do have cream soups. 325 00:17:42,697 --> 00:17:44,574 Hey, that's dynamite. You know, Lena... 326 00:17:44,737 --> 00:17:48,173 ...I wanted to talk to you about something. 327 00:17:48,577 --> 00:17:51,137 You know, because you're such a good person... 328 00:17:51,297 --> 00:17:53,049 ...that l... - Oh, hang on to that thought. 329 00:17:53,217 --> 00:17:55,856 I'm rinsing a sweater. I left the water running. 330 00:17:56,017 --> 00:17:58,577 Hey, Jerry, can you get me a towel out of my bedroom closet? 331 00:17:58,737 --> 00:18:00,375 Oh, okay. 332 00:18:06,017 --> 00:18:08,531 Oh, my God. Look what's going on here. 333 00:18:10,057 --> 00:18:12,366 She is depraved. 334 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,565 - There you are. - Thanks. 335 00:18:21,217 --> 00:18:24,175 - So you were saying? - What? Nothing. 336 00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:26,646 No, you said I was a good person... 337 00:18:28,217 --> 00:18:29,969 You seem like you wanna tell me something. 338 00:18:30,177 --> 00:18:32,896 Tell you something? I do. 339 00:18:33,057 --> 00:18:35,525 What is it, Jerry? You can tell me anything. 340 00:18:36,977 --> 00:18:40,014 - You see these jeans I'm wearing? - Yeah? 341 00:18:40,177 --> 00:18:42,850 I change the 32 waist on the label... 342 00:18:43,017 --> 00:18:46,612 ...to a 31 on all my jeans. 343 00:18:47,217 --> 00:18:49,253 So you know... 344 00:18:49,457 --> 00:18:51,527 That's it. 345 00:18:54,897 --> 00:18:57,570 - Come on, George, just rip it open. - I'm trying, damn it. 346 00:18:57,737 --> 00:19:00,171 - Tear it from the side. - I tried to tear it from the side. 347 00:19:00,337 --> 00:19:02,897 I can't get a good grip. You gotta do it like a bag of chips. 348 00:19:03,057 --> 00:19:04,331 - Give it to me. - Wait a second. 349 00:19:04,497 --> 00:19:06,453 - Give it to me. Give it to me. - Wait a second. 350 00:19:06,617 --> 00:19:08,494 You see? You see? 351 00:19:08,657 --> 00:19:10,454 I got it. 352 00:19:10,897 --> 00:19:12,489 Come on. 353 00:19:12,897 --> 00:19:14,376 Come on. 354 00:19:15,817 --> 00:19:17,728 It's too late. 355 00:19:18,377 --> 00:19:20,686 So, what's it going to be? 356 00:19:20,857 --> 00:19:22,688 Are you going to wear the ribbon? 357 00:19:23,057 --> 00:19:24,968 No. Never. 358 00:19:25,137 --> 00:19:27,526 But I'm wearing the ribbon. He's wearing the ribbon. 359 00:19:27,697 --> 00:19:29,289 We are all wearing the ribbon. 360 00:19:29,457 --> 00:19:31,368 So why aren't you going to wear the ribbon? 361 00:19:31,537 --> 00:19:34,210 This is America. I don't have to wear anything I don't want to! 362 00:19:34,377 --> 00:19:37,733 - What are we gonna do with him? - I guess we're just going to... 363 00:19:37,897 --> 00:19:40,457 ...have to teach him to wear the ribbon. 364 00:19:48,817 --> 00:19:51,490 - It completely turned her off. - Well, I can see that. 365 00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:54,694 Why do you have to do that for? Who cares about your pant size? 366 00:19:54,857 --> 00:19:56,927 I don't wanna be a 32. 367 00:19:57,657 --> 00:19:59,488 I'd kill to be a 32. 368 00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:03,491 She said I wasn't spongeworthy. Wouldn't waste a Sponge on me. 369 00:20:03,937 --> 00:20:06,849 I wish I had one. That condom killed me. 370 00:20:07,017 --> 00:20:09,929 Why do they have to make the wrappers so hard to open? 371 00:20:10,097 --> 00:20:14,090 It's probably so the woman has one last chance to change her mind. 372 00:20:14,417 --> 00:20:17,887 You never run out, do you? Where's Kramer? 373 00:20:18,057 --> 00:20:20,776 - Everything's finished here. - I told him he'd never make it. 374 00:20:20,937 --> 00:20:23,053 He was up all night. 375 00:20:24,057 --> 00:20:27,208 Oh, my God. Kramer? 376 00:20:46,777 --> 00:20:49,166 Look at you. I told you. 377 00:20:49,337 --> 00:20:52,056 Up all night playing poker. 378 00:20:52,457 --> 00:20:54,049 Come on. 379 00:20:56,737 --> 00:20:58,967 Hey, where's your AIDS ribbon? 380 00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:12,973 - Good morning. - Good morning. 381 00:21:13,857 --> 00:21:15,210 How did you sleep? 382 00:21:16,137 --> 00:21:17,775 Great. 383 00:21:17,937 --> 00:21:20,167 - You? - Fine, fine. 384 00:21:20,337 --> 00:21:23,056 Everything okay? 385 00:21:23,497 --> 00:21:25,931 - Yep. - No regrets? 386 00:21:26,417 --> 00:21:28,009 Nope. 387 00:21:30,257 --> 00:21:33,533 - What are you doing? - What do you mean? 388 00:21:33,697 --> 00:21:36,211 Oh, I don't think so. 389 00:21:36,817 --> 00:21:39,331 Why not? I thought you said everything was fine. 390 00:21:39,497 --> 00:21:42,728 I wish I could help you, but I can't afford two of them.