1 00:01:02,838 --> 00:01:04,556 Old people in Florida, they drive slow... 2 00:01:06,038 --> 00:01:07,756 ...and they sit low. 3 00:01:08,118 --> 00:01:11,269 Right? That is their motto. 4 00:01:11,558 --> 00:01:13,549 The state flag of Florida should be... 5 00:01:13,718 --> 00:01:16,073 ...a steering wheel with a hat and two knuckles on it. 6 00:01:21,798 --> 00:01:23,390 And that left-turn signal on... 7 00:01:23,558 --> 00:01:26,197 ...from when they left the house that morning. 8 00:01:26,358 --> 00:01:29,668 Right? That's a legal turn in Florida. 9 00:01:30,038 --> 00:01:32,916 It's known as an eventual left. 10 00:01:33,518 --> 00:01:36,430 And old people get to a certain age... 11 00:01:36,598 --> 00:01:38,554 ...where, when they back out of the driveway... 12 00:01:38,718 --> 00:01:40,356 ...they don't look. 13 00:01:40,518 --> 00:01:42,270 You know what I mean? They just feel like: 14 00:01:42,438 --> 00:01:45,874 "Well, I'm old, and I'm coming back. 15 00:01:46,438 --> 00:01:48,668 I survived. Let's see if you can." 16 00:01:57,838 --> 00:02:00,352 - Hey, you're back! - Oh, I'm back, baby. 17 00:02:00,518 --> 00:02:02,668 - How was it? - One of the best jobs I ever had. 18 00:02:02,838 --> 00:02:04,510 - Good for you. - I killed. 19 00:02:04,678 --> 00:02:06,475 - You killed. - Wiped the floor with them. 20 00:02:06,638 --> 00:02:09,152 And not only that, the money was unbelievable. 21 00:02:09,318 --> 00:02:12,435 - Unbelievable. - Yeah, highest-paying job I ever had. 22 00:02:12,598 --> 00:02:13,872 How much? 23 00:02:14,038 --> 00:02:15,630 - I'd rather not. - Oh, come on. 24 00:02:15,798 --> 00:02:18,517 It's not good to talk about money. It can affect the friendship. 25 00:02:18,678 --> 00:02:20,031 I tell you how much I make. 26 00:02:20,198 --> 00:02:21,677 And I'm always impressed. 27 00:02:21,838 --> 00:02:23,794 Just show me the check. Come on. 28 00:02:23,958 --> 00:02:25,789 - You wanna see it? - I wanna see it. 29 00:02:25,958 --> 00:02:27,471 Okay. 30 00:02:27,998 --> 00:02:29,795 Check that out. 31 00:02:32,558 --> 00:02:34,708 - This is unbelievable. - I told you. 32 00:02:34,878 --> 00:02:37,346 My God, you're rich. 33 00:02:37,518 --> 00:02:38,746 Oh, yeah. 34 00:02:38,918 --> 00:02:41,352 I didn't know you made that kind of money. 35 00:02:41,918 --> 00:02:43,556 - Gee. - What? 36 00:02:43,718 --> 00:02:47,313 I just don't think I can talk to you anymore. 37 00:02:47,878 --> 00:02:49,072 I feel inferior. 38 00:02:49,598 --> 00:02:50,997 I never should have told you. 39 00:02:51,158 --> 00:02:54,036 You know, Jerry, I think this changes the relationship. 40 00:02:54,198 --> 00:02:55,916 I mean, I feel it. Do you feel it? 41 00:02:56,078 --> 00:02:57,716 No, I can't feel anything. 42 00:02:57,878 --> 00:02:59,470 What are you gonna do with all that? 43 00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:02,471 I was thinking of donating a large portion of it to charity. 44 00:03:02,638 --> 00:03:04,356 - Really? - No. 45 00:03:05,878 --> 00:03:07,197 Well, you should, Jerry. 46 00:03:07,358 --> 00:03:10,156 To tell you the truth, I was thinking of buying my father a car. 47 00:03:10,318 --> 00:03:12,354 - You see, that's nice. - Yeah, maybe a Cadillac. 48 00:03:12,518 --> 00:03:13,837 Cadillac. 49 00:03:13,998 --> 00:03:15,272 Yeah. 50 00:03:15,438 --> 00:03:17,588 That would blow his mind. He's always wanted one... 51 00:03:17,758 --> 00:03:20,147 ...his whole life. He's never been able to afford it. 52 00:03:20,318 --> 00:03:22,229 - I'll do it. - You're gonna score big points... 53 00:03:22,398 --> 00:03:23,751 ...with the man upstairs. 54 00:03:23,918 --> 00:03:26,034 Oh, isn't that what it's all about? 55 00:03:30,038 --> 00:03:31,915 Who was Pippi Longstocking? 56 00:03:32,078 --> 00:03:35,070 Pippi Longstocking? I don't know. 57 00:03:35,238 --> 00:03:37,991 Did she have anything to do with Hitler? 58 00:03:38,158 --> 00:03:40,035 Hitler? Maybe. 59 00:03:40,198 --> 00:03:42,837 - Hey. - Hey, George. 60 00:03:42,998 --> 00:03:45,956 Have you seen Jerry? I told him 2:00. 61 00:03:46,958 --> 00:03:49,153 You remember Katy? 62 00:03:49,678 --> 00:03:50,952 Oh, hi. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 63 00:03:51,118 --> 00:03:53,678 We met skiing that time. You're married to the eye guy. 64 00:03:53,838 --> 00:03:56,636 Also ear, nose and throat. 65 00:03:57,478 --> 00:03:58,991 Nose. 66 00:03:59,638 --> 00:04:01,708 What's the worst that could happen to a nose? 67 00:04:01,878 --> 00:04:03,709 What does it get, stuffed? 68 00:04:04,758 --> 00:04:08,228 - He's funny. - You don't have to tell me. 69 00:04:08,398 --> 00:04:10,229 Ladies, please, please. 70 00:04:10,398 --> 00:04:12,354 Oh, you know what? He got engaged. 71 00:04:12,518 --> 00:04:14,986 Oh, you did? 72 00:04:15,158 --> 00:04:17,069 What, is that bad? 73 00:04:17,238 --> 00:04:19,706 I actually would have set you up with a friend of mine. 74 00:04:19,878 --> 00:04:22,312 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 75 00:04:22,478 --> 00:04:25,470 You'd be perfect for her. She loves quirky, funny guys. 76 00:04:26,638 --> 00:04:29,357 - Bald? - Loves bald. 77 00:04:29,518 --> 00:04:31,349 Loves bald. 78 00:04:32,638 --> 00:04:33,832 Who-? 79 00:04:34,198 --> 00:04:36,428 - Who is she? - Marisa Tomei. 80 00:04:40,118 --> 00:04:42,678 - The actress? - Yeah. 81 00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:44,910 You're friends with Marisa Tomei? 82 00:04:45,518 --> 00:04:46,667 That's right. 83 00:04:46,838 --> 00:04:49,352 That's incredible. My Cousin Vinny- 84 00:04:49,518 --> 00:04:51,986 I love her. She was fantastic. 85 00:04:52,598 --> 00:04:53,792 Yeah, I know. 86 00:04:53,958 --> 00:04:55,630 You were gonna fix me up with her? 87 00:04:55,798 --> 00:04:57,231 She's just been sitting home. 88 00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:59,753 Marisa Tomei's sitting home, Elaine. 89 00:04:59,918 --> 00:05:02,113 Why didn't you tell me Katy was friends with Marisa? 90 00:05:02,278 --> 00:05:04,917 Oh, I don't know what I was thinking. 91 00:05:06,078 --> 00:05:07,477 I want this baby fully loaded. 92 00:05:08,758 --> 00:05:10,316 Well, how soon can you get it there? 93 00:05:10,758 --> 00:05:12,111 Oh, that's terrific. 94 00:05:12,278 --> 00:05:14,917 Okay, thanks, bye. Hey, guess what. 95 00:05:15,078 --> 00:05:18,036 - I just bought my father a Cadillac. - Really? 96 00:05:18,198 --> 00:05:19,870 - Wow, you are quite the good son. - Yeah. 97 00:05:20,038 --> 00:05:21,266 I'm a very good boy. 98 00:05:21,438 --> 00:05:23,474 I'm flying down there and surprising them. 99 00:05:23,638 --> 00:05:26,596 - You gonna sleep on the foldout? - Yeah. 100 00:05:26,758 --> 00:05:28,157 I guess. 101 00:05:28,318 --> 00:05:30,195 Let me ask you something. 102 00:05:30,758 --> 00:05:32,191 You ever hear of Marisa Tomei? 103 00:05:33,358 --> 00:05:34,427 - The actress? - Yeah. 104 00:05:34,598 --> 00:05:37,396 - She's- She's something, isn't she? - Oh, yeah. 105 00:05:37,558 --> 00:05:40,516 - Well, you know Katy, Elaine's friend? - Yeah. 106 00:05:40,678 --> 00:05:42,509 She happens to be good friends with her. 107 00:05:42,678 --> 00:05:44,350 Marisa Tomei? 108 00:05:44,518 --> 00:05:47,555 - How does she know Marisa Tomei? - I don't know. I didn't ask. 109 00:05:47,718 --> 00:05:50,437 You didn't ask how she knows Marisa Tomei? 110 00:05:50,598 --> 00:05:53,237 - Not the point. Can I finish? - All right. 111 00:05:53,798 --> 00:05:56,631 Go ahead. Seems like a reasonable question. 112 00:05:56,798 --> 00:05:59,107 That's all I'm saying. I would have asked her. 113 00:05:59,278 --> 00:06:00,996 All right! 114 00:06:01,398 --> 00:06:04,435 So she said that she could have fixed me up with her. 115 00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:06,077 What do you mean, "could have"? 116 00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:08,075 Well, you know, if I wasn't engaged. 117 00:06:12,118 --> 00:06:14,109 Could have fixed me up with Marisa Tomei. 118 00:06:14,278 --> 00:06:15,631 She said I was just her type. 119 00:06:15,798 --> 00:06:17,709 - Really? - Yeah. Yeah. 120 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,676 Do you know the odds of me being anyone's type? 121 00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:22,271 I have never been anyone's type. 122 00:06:22,438 --> 00:06:26,909 But, apparently, this Marisa Tomei loves funny, quirky bald men. 123 00:06:27,638 --> 00:06:29,674 You know, she won an Academy Award. 124 00:06:30,358 --> 00:06:32,155 Like I don't know that. 125 00:06:32,318 --> 00:06:34,229 My Cousin Vinny, I loved it. 126 00:06:34,398 --> 00:06:37,913 I, George Costanza, could be on a date with an Oscar winner. 127 00:06:38,078 --> 00:06:40,467 An Oscar winner, Jerry. Do you know what that's like? 128 00:06:40,638 --> 00:06:43,357 If 50 years ago someone had fixed me up with Katharine Hepburn. 129 00:06:43,518 --> 00:06:45,156 Same thing. 130 00:06:45,718 --> 00:06:48,357 Now there's a match, you and Katharine Hepburn. 131 00:06:48,918 --> 00:06:51,227 - I mean, you've seen her? - Katharine Hepburn? Yeah. 132 00:06:51,398 --> 00:06:53,389 - Marisa Tomei! - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 133 00:06:53,558 --> 00:06:56,118 I mean, she's beautiful, right. She's just my type. 134 00:06:56,278 --> 00:06:58,269 The dark hair, the full lips. 135 00:06:58,438 --> 00:07:00,269 - You like full lips. - Oh, I love full lips. 136 00:07:00,438 --> 00:07:03,316 Something you can really put the lipstick on. 137 00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:08,118 Too bad you're engaged. 138 00:07:10,038 --> 00:07:12,427 Yeah, too bad, too bad. 139 00:07:13,878 --> 00:07:15,596 This is no good. 140 00:07:18,918 --> 00:07:20,237 - Hi. - Hi. 141 00:07:20,638 --> 00:07:23,106 Excuse me, I'm with Plaza Cable. I'm sorry to bother you. 142 00:07:23,278 --> 00:07:25,394 I'm looking for the guy who lives over here. 143 00:07:25,558 --> 00:07:28,311 Been waiting about two hours. 144 00:07:28,478 --> 00:07:29,797 You happen to know where he is? 145 00:07:29,958 --> 00:07:31,232 No. 146 00:07:31,398 --> 00:07:33,468 Could you tell him the cable company was here? 147 00:07:33,638 --> 00:07:35,788 - Sure. - Thank you. 148 00:07:37,878 --> 00:07:39,550 - Nice people. - Yeah. 149 00:07:40,118 --> 00:07:42,427 Listen, let me ask you a question. 150 00:07:42,718 --> 00:07:44,595 What if I got a cup of coffee with her? 151 00:07:45,358 --> 00:07:46,757 Well, what about Susan? 152 00:07:46,918 --> 00:07:48,510 I can't have a coffee with a person? 153 00:07:48,678 --> 00:07:49,997 I'm not allowed to have coffee? 154 00:07:50,158 --> 00:07:51,432 Would you tell Susan about it? 155 00:07:52,358 --> 00:07:53,837 Not necessarily. 156 00:07:53,998 --> 00:07:56,751 If you can't tell Susan about it, then there's something wrong. 157 00:07:56,918 --> 00:07:59,148 Of course there's something wrong. 158 00:07:59,318 --> 00:08:00,671 We had a pact. 159 00:08:02,718 --> 00:08:05,073 - Hey, cable guy's looking for you. - Oh, yeah? 160 00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:06,992 Yeah. 161 00:08:07,558 --> 00:08:09,230 Yeah, I've been getting HBO for free. 162 00:08:09,398 --> 00:08:12,071 They found out about it. Now they wanna come and take it out. 163 00:08:12,238 --> 00:08:14,832 Well, said he was waiting two hours. Seemed a little put out. 164 00:08:15,318 --> 00:08:16,797 Oh, was he? 165 00:08:16,958 --> 00:08:20,997 Well, I guess the cable man doesn't like to be kept waiting. 166 00:08:22,318 --> 00:08:23,876 You don't seem too bothered by it. 167 00:08:24,038 --> 00:08:26,268 Do you remember what they did to me 10 years ago? 168 00:08:26,438 --> 00:08:28,747 "Oh, we'll be there in the morning between 9 and 1... 169 00:08:28,918 --> 00:08:32,433 ...or we'll be there between 2 and 6." 170 00:08:32,598 --> 00:08:35,635 And I sat there, hour after hour... 171 00:08:36,198 --> 00:08:37,995 ...without so much as a phone call. 172 00:08:38,158 --> 00:08:40,308 Finally, they show up. 173 00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:41,706 No apology. 174 00:08:41,878 --> 00:08:44,551 Tracking mud all over my nice, clean floors. 175 00:08:44,718 --> 00:08:48,427 And now they want me to accommodate them. 176 00:08:48,598 --> 00:08:49,792 Well... 177 00:08:49,958 --> 00:08:53,314 ...looks like the shoe is on the other foot, doesn't it? 178 00:08:53,958 --> 00:08:57,473 - I've never seen you like this. - You don't wanna get on my bad side. 179 00:09:00,118 --> 00:09:01,551 - marks without Positraction... 180 00:09:01,718 --> 00:09:05,711 ...which was not available on the '64 Buick Skylark. 181 00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:07,470 Hey. 182 00:09:07,958 --> 00:09:09,869 Hey, what are you watching? 183 00:09:10,838 --> 00:09:13,227 What is that, My Cousin Vinny? 184 00:09:13,998 --> 00:09:15,750 - Yeah. - I thought you saw that before. 185 00:09:15,918 --> 00:09:17,715 How come you're watching that again? 186 00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:20,513 I don't know. 187 00:09:20,678 --> 00:09:23,909 Did you know Marisa Tomei won an Oscar for that? 188 00:09:24,078 --> 00:09:27,150 Boy, she's beautiful, don't you think? I wish I looked like that. 189 00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:33,030 Turn it off. You're making me jealous. 190 00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:35,712 I'm gonna think you like her more than you like me. 191 00:09:45,558 --> 00:09:47,230 - Helo? - Elaine, it's me, George. 192 00:09:47,398 --> 00:09:49,229 - How come you're whispering? - Never mind. 193 00:09:49,398 --> 00:09:51,787 Never mind. I need you to do me a favour. 194 00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:54,347 Remember what we were talking about at the coffee shop? 195 00:09:54,518 --> 00:09:55,792 No. 196 00:09:56,758 --> 00:09:57,986 Think a second. 197 00:09:58,158 --> 00:10:00,991 You know, your friend was talking about me and, you know... 198 00:10:01,158 --> 00:10:03,991 George, I have no idea what you're talking about. 199 00:10:04,158 --> 00:10:06,114 - The actress. - What? 200 00:10:06,678 --> 00:10:08,350 Marisa Tomei! 201 00:10:08,518 --> 00:10:11,316 - What? - Nothing. Nothing. 202 00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:12,672 Oh, yeah. 203 00:10:12,838 --> 00:10:15,398 - Yeah, what about her? - Well... 204 00:10:15,558 --> 00:10:17,150 - ... I think I'd like to do it. - What? 205 00:10:17,318 --> 00:10:18,512 What? 206 00:10:18,678 --> 00:10:20,987 George, no way. You're engaged. 207 00:10:21,158 --> 00:10:22,716 A coffee. That doesn't mean anything. 208 00:10:23,318 --> 00:10:25,229 - No, George. - Elaine. 209 00:10:25,398 --> 00:10:27,787 - Forget it. - Elaine. 210 00:10:27,958 --> 00:10:30,028 Elaine! Don't! 211 00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:35,313 The judge! I hate this guy. 212 00:10:38,118 --> 00:10:40,348 I can't believe you're buying your father a car. 213 00:10:40,518 --> 00:10:42,429 And best of all, it's a Cadillac. 214 00:10:43,798 --> 00:10:45,948 A Cadillac? 215 00:10:47,798 --> 00:10:51,950 I had no idea you had this kind of money. 216 00:10:54,078 --> 00:10:55,796 I don't like to talk about it. 217 00:10:55,958 --> 00:10:58,347 Yeah, I mean, I thought you were doing okay. 218 00:10:58,518 --> 00:11:02,227 I just didn't think you were in this kind of, you know... 219 00:11:03,198 --> 00:11:04,916 ...position. 220 00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:07,556 It's just money. 221 00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:09,715 So when are you getting back from Florida? 222 00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:13,554 Oh, I don't know. I'll play it by ear. Why? 223 00:11:14,198 --> 00:11:15,392 I don't know, just... 224 00:11:15,558 --> 00:11:18,914 Things seem a little more exciting when you're around. 225 00:11:20,198 --> 00:11:21,711 That's all. 226 00:11:23,158 --> 00:11:24,671 Are you okay? 227 00:11:26,078 --> 00:11:27,557 Sure, sure. 228 00:11:27,718 --> 00:11:29,151 - What was that? - Quiet, quiet. 229 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,872 Hey, you know the guy who lives here? 230 00:11:34,038 --> 00:11:36,506 - Yeah. - All morning I've been waiting here. 231 00:11:36,678 --> 00:11:39,146 - All morning. - Oh, this is... 232 00:11:40,438 --> 00:11:44,113 The guy says he's gonna be home. I show up, and all I do is wait. 233 00:11:46,758 --> 00:11:48,988 I'm getting pretty sick and tired of it. 234 00:11:49,158 --> 00:11:50,955 I'm not gonna put up with it much longer. 235 00:11:51,118 --> 00:11:53,234 I'm loving this. 236 00:11:56,398 --> 00:11:57,877 Hey, there's a guy out here that- 237 00:11:58,038 --> 00:11:59,630 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, I know. 238 00:12:01,478 --> 00:12:04,117 Thanks very much for yesterday, by the way. 239 00:12:04,278 --> 00:12:07,156 Jerry, he wants me to fix him up with Marisa Tomei. 240 00:12:07,318 --> 00:12:09,149 I am not gonna be a part of this. 241 00:12:09,318 --> 00:12:12,230 "Fixed up"? A cup of coffee. A cup of coffee is not a fix-up. 242 00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:15,071 You wanna meet her. You wanna see if she likes you? 243 00:12:15,238 --> 00:12:17,877 - So what? So what if I do? - You're engaged! 244 00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:20,427 I'm aware! I'm aware! 245 00:12:20,598 --> 00:12:23,590 But this is Marisa Tomei, Elaine. An Oscar winner. 246 00:12:23,758 --> 00:12:25,350 How can I live the rest of my life... 247 00:12:25,518 --> 00:12:27,156 ...knowing I could have been with her? 248 00:12:27,318 --> 00:12:28,592 She said I was just her type. 249 00:12:28,758 --> 00:12:31,556 She loves short, stocky, balding funnymen. 250 00:12:32,198 --> 00:12:33,631 I notice you threw "stocky"in. 251 00:12:33,798 --> 00:12:35,231 Yeah, what the hell. 252 00:12:35,398 --> 00:12:37,389 George, it's cheating. 253 00:12:37,558 --> 00:12:40,118 It's not cheating if there's no sex. 254 00:12:40,278 --> 00:12:42,348 Yes, it is. Jerry. 255 00:12:46,078 --> 00:12:48,114 Hundred. Hold on a second. 256 00:12:50,158 --> 00:12:52,388 I'm sorry. I didn't hear what you said. 257 00:12:54,638 --> 00:12:55,787 Elaine, come on. 258 00:12:55,958 --> 00:12:58,028 Would you make the call? Please, make the call. 259 00:12:58,198 --> 00:13:00,029 Yeah. Yeah, fine. I'll call. 260 00:13:02,918 --> 00:13:05,352 - Eight fifty. - Oh, right. 261 00:13:08,518 --> 00:13:10,270 So... 262 00:13:10,438 --> 00:13:14,033 ...how are you getting to the airport? Do you need a ride, or...? 263 00:13:14,438 --> 00:13:16,998 - Don't be silly. I've arranged a car. - You sure? You sure? 264 00:13:17,158 --> 00:13:18,910 Because, you know... 265 00:13:21,798 --> 00:13:24,756 - Maybe I'll let you pick me up. - Okay. 266 00:13:27,118 --> 00:13:28,710 Oh, hi. 267 00:13:28,878 --> 00:13:30,755 Is Katy there? 268 00:13:33,398 --> 00:13:34,592 What? 269 00:13:34,758 --> 00:13:36,589 Oh, really? 270 00:13:36,758 --> 00:13:38,988 Well, could you tell her Elaine called? 271 00:13:39,158 --> 00:13:40,955 Yeah, thanks. 272 00:13:41,958 --> 00:13:44,518 She's in the hospital. She has an arrhythmia. 273 00:13:45,718 --> 00:13:48,073 What about Marisa Tomei? 274 00:13:56,198 --> 00:13:58,268 Morty, what do you have to open this box for? 275 00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:00,394 There's already a box of cookies open. 276 00:14:00,558 --> 00:14:01,707 I wanted a Chip Ahoy. 277 00:14:01,878 --> 00:14:03,869 I don't want all these open boxes. 278 00:14:04,038 --> 00:14:05,596 Look, I got a few good years left. 279 00:14:05,758 --> 00:14:08,591 If I want a Chip Ahoy, I'm having it. 280 00:14:09,998 --> 00:14:11,397 Surprise! 281 00:14:11,558 --> 00:14:13,992 - Jerry! - Oh, my God! 282 00:14:14,158 --> 00:14:16,877 - What the hell are you doing here? - I'm a good son. 283 00:14:17,038 --> 00:14:18,676 Just like that? No call? 284 00:14:18,838 --> 00:14:20,954 - Just like that. - Oh, you are really something. 285 00:14:21,118 --> 00:14:22,517 To what do we owe this honour? 286 00:14:22,678 --> 00:14:24,191 You wanna know, come on outside. 287 00:14:24,358 --> 00:14:25,677 Outside? What's going on? 288 00:14:25,838 --> 00:14:28,147 Whenever Jerry comes, something exciting happens. 289 00:14:28,318 --> 00:14:29,717 Come on, come on. 290 00:14:36,118 --> 00:14:38,507 - Well, what do you think? - Look at this. 291 00:14:39,158 --> 00:14:40,910 Look at this. 292 00:14:41,078 --> 00:14:42,511 You bought a Cadillac? 293 00:14:42,678 --> 00:14:44,475 I bought it for you. It's yours. 294 00:14:44,638 --> 00:14:46,833 You what? You bought me a Cadillac? 295 00:14:46,998 --> 00:14:49,068 I bought you a Cadillac. Here you go. 296 00:14:49,238 --> 00:14:50,671 Are you out of your mind? 297 00:14:50,838 --> 00:14:52,271 - What? - We can't take this. 298 00:14:52,438 --> 00:14:53,996 You don't want it? Are you kidding? 299 00:14:54,158 --> 00:14:56,626 - He's not buying us a Cadillac. - What are you, nuts? 300 00:14:56,798 --> 00:14:59,266 This is a very nice gesture, Jerry, but take it back. 301 00:14:59,438 --> 00:15:00,917 Can you believe this? 302 00:15:01,078 --> 00:15:03,956 I'm not letting him buy us a Cadillac. He hasn't got the money. 303 00:15:04,118 --> 00:15:06,916 - How do you know? - Oh, get out of here, Mr. Big Shot. 304 00:15:07,078 --> 00:15:08,591 Why can't I buy my father a car? 305 00:15:08,758 --> 00:15:10,635 - Your father doesn't need a car. - Yes, I do. 306 00:15:10,798 --> 00:15:12,390 - Oh, Morty. - We're keeping it. 307 00:15:12,558 --> 00:15:14,753 Over my dead body. Give me those. Give me- 308 00:15:14,918 --> 00:15:17,148 Well, this worked out just as I had hoped. 309 00:15:24,158 --> 00:15:26,353 - Giddyup. - Yeah, this is Nick Stevens... 310 00:15:26,518 --> 00:15:28,076 ...from Plaza Cable. 311 00:15:28,238 --> 00:15:30,354 Wel, I waited al morning again. 312 00:15:30,518 --> 00:15:32,429 You said you were gonna be there from 9 to 1. 313 00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:34,987 I was there. Where were you? 314 00:15:35,158 --> 00:15:36,432 I got nothing better to do... 315 00:15:36,598 --> 00:15:39,431 ...than stand outside al morning waiting for you to show up? 316 00:15:39,598 --> 00:15:42,032 You're not gonna get away with this. 317 00:15:42,638 --> 00:15:44,390 Hey, Jerry, look at this. 318 00:15:44,558 --> 00:15:46,947 My seat's got a memory, in case somebody moves it. 319 00:15:47,118 --> 00:15:48,437 I could be in prison for years. 320 00:15:48,598 --> 00:15:50,634 I come out, my seat goes back to where I like it. 321 00:15:50,798 --> 00:15:52,277 That's what I was thinking. 322 00:15:52,998 --> 00:15:54,636 Hello, Jerry. 323 00:15:54,798 --> 00:15:56,117 Hiya, Jack. 324 00:15:56,278 --> 00:15:57,677 So... 325 00:15:57,838 --> 00:15:59,157 ...how do you like this? 326 00:15:59,318 --> 00:16:01,070 - Whose car? - It's mine. 327 00:16:01,238 --> 00:16:02,751 - Yours? - That's right. 328 00:16:02,918 --> 00:16:05,068 - My son bought it for me. - He what? 329 00:16:05,238 --> 00:16:06,432 My son bought me the car. 330 00:16:06,598 --> 00:16:07,792 It's a present. 331 00:16:07,958 --> 00:16:10,188 - You bought it? - That's right. I bought it. 332 00:16:10,358 --> 00:16:11,586 You ever see one so nice? 333 00:16:11,758 --> 00:16:12,907 Some car. 334 00:16:13,078 --> 00:16:15,308 - You wanna take a ride? - No, thank you. 335 00:16:15,478 --> 00:16:17,355 - Come on, take a ride. - I don't wanna ride. 336 00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:19,588 - Why not? - I don't feel like taking a ride. 337 00:16:19,758 --> 00:16:21,077 Do I have to take a ride? 338 00:16:21,238 --> 00:16:22,671 He doesn't wanna take a ride. 339 00:16:22,838 --> 00:16:25,227 What do you think, I've never ridden in a Cadillac? 340 00:16:25,398 --> 00:16:28,276 Believe me, I have ridden in a Cadillac hundreds of times. 341 00:16:28,438 --> 00:16:30,190 - Thousands. - Thousands? 342 00:16:30,358 --> 00:16:33,395 You think you're such a big shot now because you got a Cadillac? 343 00:16:35,478 --> 00:16:37,673 Did you believe that guy? 344 00:16:39,678 --> 00:16:42,192 Anyway, I was thinking about what you said... 345 00:16:42,718 --> 00:16:46,506 ...about me and Marisa, you know, the two of us getting together. 346 00:16:46,838 --> 00:16:48,829 And I know that I said that I was engaged... 347 00:16:48,998 --> 00:16:53,389 ...but, you know, it's really just something you say, you know. 348 00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:56,789 It's like going steady, you know. Going steady, engaged. 349 00:16:56,958 --> 00:16:59,313 It's all just stuff you say. 350 00:17:00,118 --> 00:17:02,678 Anyway, I was watching My Cousin Vinny... 351 00:17:02,838 --> 00:17:06,626 ...on the tape the other day and I was thinking that... 352 00:17:06,798 --> 00:17:10,507 ...you know, the two of us might take a meeting, as they say. 353 00:17:11,638 --> 00:17:13,549 So, what do you think? 354 00:17:14,998 --> 00:17:17,193 Move a pinkie if it's yes. Can you move a pinkie? 355 00:17:26,038 --> 00:17:28,632 - Hello. - Hi, Mr. Kramer. 356 00:17:28,798 --> 00:17:30,948 This is McNab down at the phone company. 357 00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:34,349 We got a report about some trouble on your line. 358 00:17:34,758 --> 00:17:37,067 Well, I haven't had any trouble. 359 00:17:37,238 --> 00:17:40,594 Thing is, we happen to have a man right in your neighbourhood. 360 00:17:42,518 --> 00:17:46,670 Is that right? Well, I have been having a little trouble with my call waiting. 361 00:17:46,838 --> 00:17:48,749 We can fix that. We can fix that. 362 00:17:48,918 --> 00:17:50,476 Oh, can you? 363 00:17:50,638 --> 00:17:52,788 Well, that's funny. Because as it happens... 364 00:17:52,958 --> 00:17:54,835 ...I don't have call waiting. 365 00:17:54,998 --> 00:17:58,195 Seems to me that the phone company would know that. 366 00:17:58,358 --> 00:17:59,837 Oh, right, I'm sorry. 367 00:17:59,998 --> 00:18:03,468 I was looking at the wrong work order. 368 00:18:03,638 --> 00:18:05,071 Could you hold on for a second? 369 00:18:05,238 --> 00:18:07,957 I've got something on the stove. 370 00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:22,354 Hey, McNab! Chunnel's on HBO tonight! 371 00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:24,986 Why don't you stop by! 372 00:18:29,878 --> 00:18:31,948 All right. Next thing on the agenda: 373 00:18:32,118 --> 00:18:34,632 The restoration of the fence at the Broward Gate. 374 00:18:34,798 --> 00:18:37,870 At the present time, we are still accepting bids. 375 00:18:38,038 --> 00:18:39,869 It's been broken for six months already. 376 00:18:40,038 --> 00:18:41,232 What the hell are you doing? 377 00:18:41,398 --> 00:18:44,037 Well, I, as your president, have to find the best price. 378 00:18:44,198 --> 00:18:46,996 And right now, I, for one, do not think it's cost-feasible. 379 00:18:47,158 --> 00:18:49,672 I'll bet you don't. 380 00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:50,907 What's that? 381 00:18:51,078 --> 00:18:54,036 Come on, Morty. The jig is up. 382 00:18:54,198 --> 00:18:55,950 - What are you talking about? - I'm sorry. 383 00:18:56,118 --> 00:18:59,235 I'm sitting here the whole meeting holding my tongue. 384 00:18:59,398 --> 00:19:02,834 I know you a long time, Morty, but I cannot hold it in any longer. 385 00:19:02,998 --> 00:19:05,558 - What's going on, Jack? - I'll tell you what's going on. 386 00:19:05,718 --> 00:19:09,233 Morty Seinfeld has been stealing funds from the treasury. 387 00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:11,229 - Stealing? - What proof do you have? 388 00:19:11,398 --> 00:19:12,751 Proof? You want proof? 389 00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:15,273 He's driving around in a brand-new Cadillac. 390 00:19:15,438 --> 00:19:16,757 What more proof do you want? 391 00:19:16,918 --> 00:19:18,476 My son bought me that car. 392 00:19:18,638 --> 00:19:22,108 Your son? Your son could never afford that car. 393 00:19:22,278 --> 00:19:25,236 We all saw his act last year at the playhouse. 394 00:19:25,958 --> 00:19:27,914 He's lucky he can pay his rent. 395 00:19:28,078 --> 00:19:30,751 Jack's right. He stinks. 396 00:19:30,918 --> 00:19:32,112 It's his material. 397 00:19:32,278 --> 00:19:34,667 I tell you, he bought it for me. 398 00:19:34,838 --> 00:19:37,875 - I move for a full investigation. - I second. 399 00:19:42,678 --> 00:19:44,430 - Impeachment? - That's right. 400 00:19:44,598 --> 00:19:46,236 Have you ever heard anything like that? 401 00:19:46,398 --> 00:19:48,912 - Can they do that? - If they get the votes. 402 00:19:49,078 --> 00:19:51,228 Told you we shouldn't have let him give us the car. 403 00:19:51,398 --> 00:19:54,037 Didn't you tell them I got the bill? That proves I paid for it. 404 00:19:54,198 --> 00:19:57,349 It doesn't make a difference. They think we're in cahoots. 405 00:19:58,358 --> 00:20:01,395 You could put a fence around these condos and call it an insane asylum. 406 00:20:01,558 --> 00:20:03,150 Nobody would know the difference. 407 00:20:03,318 --> 00:20:05,149 No one's ever been impeached before. 408 00:20:05,318 --> 00:20:08,594 I couldn't live here. We'd have to move to Boca. 409 00:20:09,478 --> 00:20:10,991 Hello? 410 00:20:11,158 --> 00:20:14,036 - Oh, hi, Evelyn. - Hello, Jerry. 411 00:20:14,598 --> 00:20:17,396 I just got off the phone with Sol Brandes. 412 00:20:17,558 --> 00:20:20,914 - What did he say? - He's voting to impeach. 413 00:20:21,398 --> 00:20:23,389 Not because he thinks you stole the money... 414 00:20:23,558 --> 00:20:25,708 ...but mainly because you never thanked him... 415 00:20:25,878 --> 00:20:28,915 ...for giving you his aisle seat at Freddy Roman's show. 416 00:20:29,958 --> 00:20:31,357 I did so thank him. 417 00:20:31,518 --> 00:20:34,191 No, he never heard you. I told you he didn't hear you. 418 00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:36,110 He's deaf anyway. 419 00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:39,793 Now, my sources tell me... 420 00:20:39,958 --> 00:20:42,347 ...there's three votes for impeachment... 421 00:20:42,518 --> 00:20:44,315 ...three votes against impeachment... 422 00:20:44,478 --> 00:20:46,514 ...and one undecided. 423 00:20:46,678 --> 00:20:48,589 - Who's that? - Mrs. Choate. 424 00:20:48,758 --> 00:20:50,032 - Who's she? - Oh, that one? 425 00:20:50,198 --> 00:20:52,428 She's been a member of the board longer than anybody. 426 00:20:52,598 --> 00:20:53,917 She's very tough to deal with. 427 00:20:54,078 --> 00:20:57,673 Maybe we should have her over for coffee and explain our side of it. 428 00:20:57,838 --> 00:21:00,272 - That's a good idea. - Okay. 429 00:21:00,438 --> 00:21:02,474 I'll see you at the Lichtenbergs' tonight. 430 00:21:02,638 --> 00:21:05,391 - The Lichtenbergs'? - Yes, they're having a party. 431 00:21:05,558 --> 00:21:07,116 We weren't invited. 432 00:21:07,958 --> 00:21:09,391 Well. 433 00:21:09,718 --> 00:21:11,948 Probably they think you're too good for them. 434 00:21:12,118 --> 00:21:14,678 You know, because of the car. 435 00:21:17,438 --> 00:21:19,952 We're losing all our friends. 436 00:21:24,998 --> 00:21:26,829 - Hello? - Helo, Mr. Kramer? 437 00:21:26,998 --> 00:21:28,590 This is John Hanaran from Con Ed. 438 00:21:28,758 --> 00:21:31,875 - Oh, it's Hanaran now, is it? - Yes. 439 00:21:32,038 --> 00:21:34,836 We've had some reports of power surges in your building. 440 00:21:34,998 --> 00:21:36,750 It seems some jok ers were up on the roof. 441 00:21:36,918 --> 00:21:38,670 They must have damaged some of the wires. 442 00:21:38,838 --> 00:21:41,068 Oh, you don't say. 443 00:21:41,238 --> 00:21:43,547 Either way, we need to get into your apartment... 444 00:21:43,718 --> 00:21:45,231 ...and do a safety check. 445 00:21:46,198 --> 00:21:48,393 Oh, you're good. 446 00:21:48,558 --> 00:21:51,152 You are really good. 447 00:21:52,118 --> 00:21:53,517 What are you talking about? 448 00:21:59,718 --> 00:22:02,107 I guess I should just go introduce myself, huh? 449 00:22:02,278 --> 00:22:05,156 Hey, what are you watching? 450 00:22:06,918 --> 00:22:08,749 Only You? 451 00:22:09,358 --> 00:22:11,553 That's another Marisa Tomei movie. 452 00:22:11,718 --> 00:22:13,310 And you've seen that one too. 453 00:22:13,478 --> 00:22:15,753 What, do you have a thing for her? 454 00:22:17,078 --> 00:22:20,753 Yeah. Yeah, I have a thing for Marisa Tomei. 455 00:22:20,918 --> 00:22:24,877 Like she would ever go out with a short, stocky, bald man. 456 00:22:25,038 --> 00:22:26,596 Like that's her type. 457 00:22:26,758 --> 00:22:28,555 She's an Oscar winner. 458 00:22:29,238 --> 00:22:30,990 Besides, I don't even know her. 459 00:22:31,158 --> 00:22:34,036 It's not like anyone's trying to fix us up. 460 00:22:34,358 --> 00:22:36,747 Who would try and fix me up with Marisa Tomei? 461 00:22:36,918 --> 00:22:39,227 What are you talking about? 462 00:22:59,398 --> 00:23:02,196 Have I told you how much I love you today? 463 00:23:03,318 --> 00:23:05,229 Not in the last 15 minutes. 464 00:23:05,798 --> 00:23:07,789 Well, I do love you very much. 465 00:23:07,958 --> 00:23:10,028 And I love you, Marisa. 466 00:23:10,558 --> 00:23:13,595 Well, then. Come on, get dressed. 467 00:23:13,758 --> 00:23:15,635 We're going to be late for the premiere. 468 00:23:42,358 --> 00:23:44,428 Stupid foldout. 469 00:23:44,598 --> 00:23:47,749 Why do they put the bar in the middle of the bed? 470 00:23:58,118 --> 00:24:01,076 - Hello? - Hi, Jerry. 471 00:24:01,798 --> 00:24:03,834 Elaine? What's going on? 472 00:24:04,918 --> 00:24:08,797 I was thinking. I mean, I'm not really doing that much this weekend... 473 00:24:08,958 --> 00:24:11,313 ...and I thought, "Well, what the hell. 474 00:24:11,478 --> 00:24:14,197 Maybe I'll come down there and hang out a little." 475 00:24:14,358 --> 00:24:16,553 You wanna hang out here... 476 00:24:16,718 --> 00:24:19,391 ...at Phase Two in the Pines of Mar Gables? 477 00:24:24,758 --> 00:24:25,952 Well... 478 00:24:26,118 --> 00:24:28,029 ...it's just two hours by plane. 479 00:24:28,198 --> 00:24:30,473 Gee, I don't know what to tell you. 480 00:24:31,158 --> 00:24:32,750 Damn it. I got another call. 481 00:24:32,918 --> 00:24:35,307 Hang on. Don't hang up, Jerry. 482 00:24:36,518 --> 00:24:37,712 - Yeah? - Elaine... 483 00:24:37,878 --> 00:24:39,914 ...you have got to get me Marisa Tomei's number. 484 00:24:40,078 --> 00:24:43,753 Okay, George, I'm on the other line. I promise you, I'll get you her number. 485 00:24:44,758 --> 00:24:47,318 - Yeah. - Goodbye. 486 00:24:48,758 --> 00:24:50,191 Hi. 487 00:24:50,758 --> 00:24:52,111 Hi. 488 00:24:52,638 --> 00:24:53,832 So, what do you think? 489 00:24:54,718 --> 00:24:56,071 I don't think so. 490 00:24:58,038 --> 00:24:59,391 I'll be back on Monday. 491 00:24:59,798 --> 00:25:02,835 Well, if you need that ride... 492 00:25:03,318 --> 00:25:04,751 ...just give me a call. 493 00:25:04,918 --> 00:25:06,670 I can meet you at the gate, Jerr. 494 00:25:06,838 --> 00:25:08,112 Yeah, yeah. Whatever. 495 00:25:08,278 --> 00:25:10,428 - All right, I'll see you. - Jerr, Jerry? 496 00:25:10,598 --> 00:25:12,554 - Yeah? - Bye. 497 00:25:14,638 --> 00:25:15,957 Bye. 498 00:25:17,558 --> 00:25:20,470 Yeah, sure. No, that's fantastic. 499 00:25:20,798 --> 00:25:22,436 I'll- I'll see you then. 500 00:25:22,598 --> 00:25:24,111 Okay. 501 00:25:26,038 --> 00:25:28,074 I just got off the phone with Marisa Tomei. 502 00:25:28,238 --> 00:25:30,798 I just spoke to Marisa Tomei. 503 00:25:30,958 --> 00:25:32,596 And I wasn't even that nervous. 504 00:25:32,758 --> 00:25:35,113 I can't remember calling a woman without being nervous. 505 00:25:35,278 --> 00:25:38,748 Usually I'm pacing all over the room. I write down things to say. 506 00:25:39,638 --> 00:25:41,913 Okay, well, that's all the time we have for today. 507 00:25:42,078 --> 00:25:44,592 Why don't we pick up with this next week? 508 00:25:44,758 --> 00:25:46,510 - Where are you going? - I got stuff to do. 509 00:25:46,678 --> 00:25:48,589 - What? You can't leave yet. - Why not? 510 00:25:48,758 --> 00:25:51,033 - We have to discuss my alibi. - Alibi? 511 00:25:51,198 --> 00:25:53,587 - What does that have to do with me? - I spend Saturday... 512 00:25:53,758 --> 00:25:55,874 ...with Susan. She'll wanna know what I'm doing. 513 00:25:56,038 --> 00:25:58,029 I can't use Jerry. He's in Florida. 514 00:25:58,198 --> 00:26:00,837 - So you wanna say you were with me? - Yes. 515 00:26:01,638 --> 00:26:03,276 Okay, fine. You were with me. 516 00:26:03,438 --> 00:26:05,474 Wait a second. Wait a second. What were we doing? 517 00:26:05,638 --> 00:26:07,947 Where were we? Why are we together? 518 00:26:08,278 --> 00:26:10,917 - What is the difference? - Because if you ever see her... 519 00:26:11,078 --> 00:26:14,195 ...and it comes up, we have to be in sync. 520 00:26:18,758 --> 00:26:20,271 Okay. Now... 521 00:26:21,238 --> 00:26:24,116 Why do I have to see you? 522 00:26:28,358 --> 00:26:30,872 Because I'm going to the dentist... 523 00:26:31,038 --> 00:26:32,596 ...and I'm afraid... 524 00:26:32,758 --> 00:26:34,988 ...and I want you to go with me. 525 00:26:35,478 --> 00:26:37,070 That's no good. 526 00:26:37,918 --> 00:26:40,273 Okay, fine. 527 00:26:40,438 --> 00:26:41,587 What? 528 00:26:41,758 --> 00:26:44,272 I don't like the way you just rejected my suggestion. 529 00:26:44,438 --> 00:26:47,430 Hey, let's not get so defensive here. This is a give-and-take process. 530 00:26:47,598 --> 00:26:50,032 I thought that my suggestion was good. 531 00:26:50,198 --> 00:26:52,268 I think you could have been a little more tactful. 532 00:26:52,438 --> 00:26:55,794 Okay, look, we've never worked together on a lie. 533 00:26:55,958 --> 00:26:58,756 You don't understand how I work. I have a certain way of working. 534 00:26:58,918 --> 00:27:01,716 Jerry and I have worked together a few times. He knows how I work. 535 00:27:01,878 --> 00:27:05,951 Not a personal thing. We're just trying to come up with the best possible lie. 536 00:27:06,118 --> 00:27:07,631 - That's what this is about. - Okay. 537 00:27:07,798 --> 00:27:09,151 - Okay. Fine. - Okay? 538 00:27:09,318 --> 00:27:11,627 - Good. - Fine, fine, fine. 539 00:27:12,798 --> 00:27:14,550 Okay. 540 00:27:16,078 --> 00:27:17,875 Okay, how about this? 541 00:27:18,038 --> 00:27:19,471 - What? - You are having problems... 542 00:27:19,638 --> 00:27:23,472 ...with your boyfriend, and I am meeting you to discuss the situation. 543 00:27:23,638 --> 00:27:24,991 I don't have a boyfriend. 544 00:27:25,238 --> 00:27:27,308 She doesn't know that. We say that you do. 545 00:27:29,718 --> 00:27:31,595 It's good. Believe me. 546 00:27:31,758 --> 00:27:34,272 I thought my idea was just as good. 547 00:27:34,438 --> 00:27:37,555 - The dentist thing? - Yeah, right. The dentist thing. 548 00:27:37,718 --> 00:27:40,630 - The dentist thing was not good. - Okay, all right. 549 00:27:40,798 --> 00:27:42,516 What is his name? Who is he? 550 00:27:43,398 --> 00:27:44,592 Art Vandelay. 551 00:27:45,438 --> 00:27:47,235 Art Vandelay? 552 00:27:47,398 --> 00:27:49,548 - This is my boyfriend? - That's your boyfriend. 553 00:27:50,038 --> 00:27:51,630 What does he do? 554 00:27:51,798 --> 00:27:54,835 - He's an importer. - Just imports? No exports? 555 00:27:55,958 --> 00:27:57,869 He's an importer-exporter. Okay? 556 00:27:59,638 --> 00:28:03,108 So I'm dating Art Vandelay. 557 00:28:03,438 --> 00:28:05,235 What is the problem we're discussing? 558 00:28:06,638 --> 00:28:08,117 Yes, yes. 559 00:28:13,558 --> 00:28:14,877 How about this? 560 00:28:15,038 --> 00:28:18,348 How about he's thinking of quitting the exporting... 561 00:28:18,518 --> 00:28:21,351 ...and just focusing in on the importing. 562 00:28:21,518 --> 00:28:25,636 And this is causing a problem. Because why not do both? 563 00:28:28,718 --> 00:28:31,471 Oh, what? You don't like that suggestion either? 564 00:28:32,078 --> 00:28:33,989 It's very complicated. 565 00:28:34,558 --> 00:28:37,595 You know, it seems to me that it's all you... 566 00:28:37,758 --> 00:28:39,635 ...and none of my ideas are getting in. 567 00:28:39,798 --> 00:28:44,349 You know, I mean, you just know it all. And I am Miss Stupid, right? 568 00:28:47,998 --> 00:28:49,829 What are you doing? Are you making coffee? 569 00:28:49,998 --> 00:28:52,273 - Yeah. - You better make a pot of tea too. 570 00:28:52,438 --> 00:28:53,996 Morty, you're driving me crazy. 571 00:28:54,158 --> 00:28:55,830 Look, I don't want anything to go wrong. 572 00:28:55,998 --> 00:28:58,512 If this woman votes to impeach me, I'll be a laughingstock. 573 00:28:58,678 --> 00:29:02,353 You wanna drive a Cadillac, expect to pay the consequences. 574 00:29:02,518 --> 00:29:04,156 There she is. 575 00:29:06,718 --> 00:29:07,946 Hello. Hello, Mrs. Choate. 576 00:29:08,118 --> 00:29:10,268 - Hello. - Oh, come in. May I take your coat? 577 00:29:10,438 --> 00:29:13,316 No, no. I prefer to wear it. Nobody's taking my coat. 578 00:29:13,478 --> 00:29:15,309 How about a cup of coffee or something? 579 00:29:15,478 --> 00:29:16,752 Coffee? 580 00:29:17,078 --> 00:29:19,546 I'll take hot water with lemon if you have it. 581 00:29:19,718 --> 00:29:21,231 Please, have a seat. 582 00:29:21,398 --> 00:29:24,470 That's a lovely scarf you're wearing. Where did you get it? 583 00:29:24,638 --> 00:29:26,674 They're a dime a dozen. 584 00:29:26,838 --> 00:29:29,671 Oh, hi, Jerry. Mrs. Choate, this is my son, Jerry. 585 00:29:32,558 --> 00:29:34,037 - Give me that rye. - Stop it. 586 00:29:34,198 --> 00:29:35,711 Help! Someone help! 587 00:29:35,878 --> 00:29:38,346 - Shut up, you old bag. - Thief! 588 00:29:38,518 --> 00:29:42,033 Stop him! Stop him, he's got my rye! 589 00:29:44,598 --> 00:29:47,158 - Nice to meet you. - Hello. 590 00:29:47,318 --> 00:29:49,548 Jerry lives in New York. You just came from New York? 591 00:29:49,718 --> 00:29:52,994 Yeah, I was visiting my daughter. And I'll never go back. 592 00:29:53,278 --> 00:29:55,587 The crime there is just terrible. 593 00:29:55,758 --> 00:29:59,148 Do you know I got mugged for a marble rye right on the street? 594 00:29:59,318 --> 00:30:02,993 Oh, that's terrible. They stole a rye? Why would they steal a rye? 595 00:30:03,158 --> 00:30:05,877 That's what the city's turning into. They'll steal anything. 596 00:30:06,038 --> 00:30:07,153 They're like savages. 597 00:30:07,318 --> 00:30:10,515 Yeah, there are some sickos out there. 598 00:30:10,678 --> 00:30:13,636 You look very familiar. Have we ever met? 599 00:30:14,478 --> 00:30:16,912 You ever go to Camp Tioga? 600 00:30:17,078 --> 00:30:18,591 Maybe you've seen him on television. 601 00:30:18,758 --> 00:30:22,034 - Jerry's a comedian. - No, I don't watch TV. 602 00:30:22,198 --> 00:30:23,950 - It was nice meeting you. - Jerry, don't go. 603 00:30:24,118 --> 00:30:25,790 No, I think I'll go. 604 00:30:26,998 --> 00:30:29,558 So, Morty, what's this all about? What do you want? 605 00:30:30,758 --> 00:30:32,589 Hey, where are you going? 606 00:30:32,758 --> 00:30:34,191 Oh, I- I didn't tell you? 607 00:30:34,358 --> 00:30:36,235 I gotta go meet Elaine. 608 00:30:36,398 --> 00:30:38,150 Elaine? What for? 609 00:30:38,318 --> 00:30:41,390 I don't know. She's having some problems with this guy she's seeing. 610 00:30:41,758 --> 00:30:43,271 I didn't know she was dating anyone. 611 00:30:43,438 --> 00:30:46,510 Yeah, yeah. She's seeing this guy, Art Vandelay. 612 00:30:47,278 --> 00:30:49,872 - So, what does he do? - He's an importer-exporter. 613 00:30:50,038 --> 00:30:51,790 What kind of problems are they having? 614 00:30:52,078 --> 00:30:54,433 Well, he... 615 00:30:54,838 --> 00:30:58,956 He wants to quit the exporting and... 616 00:30:59,518 --> 00:31:01,748 ...focus just on the importing. 617 00:31:02,918 --> 00:31:05,478 And it's a problem because she thinks the exporting... 618 00:31:05,638 --> 00:31:08,277 ...is as important as the importing. 619 00:31:08,438 --> 00:31:10,508 Are you having an affair with Elaine? 620 00:31:12,758 --> 00:31:15,033 Right. Come on. 621 00:31:15,198 --> 00:31:19,316 I'm having an affair with Elaine? If I was having an affair with Elaine... 622 00:31:19,478 --> 00:31:21,389 ...I wouldn't tell you I'm seeing Elaine. 623 00:31:21,558 --> 00:31:23,992 I would make up another person to tell you I would see... 624 00:31:24,158 --> 00:31:26,513 ...and then I would go see Elaine. 625 00:33:03,998 --> 00:33:06,671 I'll get you! I'll get you, Kramer! 626 00:33:07,318 --> 00:33:09,468 You won't get away with this. 627 00:33:13,318 --> 00:33:14,831 All right, are you ready to eat? 628 00:33:15,798 --> 00:33:19,154 Oh, right, let's go. Jerry, let's go. It's time to eat. We're going to dinner. 629 00:33:20,918 --> 00:33:23,876 - Dinner? Well, what time is it? - It's 4:30. 630 00:33:24,438 --> 00:33:26,906 Four thirty? Who eats dinner at 4:30? 631 00:33:27,078 --> 00:33:29,546 By the time we sit down, it'll be quarter to 5. 632 00:33:29,878 --> 00:33:31,630 I don't understand why we have to eat now. 633 00:33:31,798 --> 00:33:34,995 We gotta catch the early-bird. It's only between 4:30 and 6. 634 00:33:35,158 --> 00:33:38,673 Yeah, they give you a tenderloin, a salad and a baked potato for $4.95. 635 00:33:38,838 --> 00:33:41,147 You know what that costs you after 6? 636 00:33:41,318 --> 00:33:44,276 Can't we eat at a decent hour? I'll treat. Okay? 637 00:33:44,438 --> 00:33:45,951 You're not buying us dinner. 638 00:33:46,278 --> 00:33:48,553 I'm not force-feeding myself a steak at 4:30... 639 00:33:48,718 --> 00:33:51,027 ...to save a couple bucks. I'll tell you that. 640 00:33:52,358 --> 00:33:53,757 All right. 641 00:33:53,918 --> 00:33:55,351 We'll wait. 642 00:33:55,798 --> 00:33:57,390 But it's unheard of. 643 00:34:02,038 --> 00:34:04,347 So anyway, if you think about it... 644 00:34:04,518 --> 00:34:06,395 ..."manure"is not really that bad a word. 645 00:34:06,558 --> 00:34:09,356 I mean, it's "newer,"which is good. 646 00:34:09,518 --> 00:34:12,590 And a "ma"in front of it, which is also good. 647 00:34:12,758 --> 00:34:15,318 "Manure."It's really not that bad. 648 00:34:15,758 --> 00:34:17,908 You're so right. I never thought of it like that. 649 00:34:18,078 --> 00:34:21,388 "Manure.""Ma"and the "newer." 650 00:34:22,518 --> 00:34:23,746 Did you just make that up? 651 00:34:24,358 --> 00:34:25,871 What, you think I'm doing material? 652 00:34:26,038 --> 00:34:27,312 No, no. 653 00:34:27,478 --> 00:34:31,312 It's hard to believe anyone could be so spontaneously funny. 654 00:34:31,478 --> 00:34:33,548 And I'm a little tired. 655 00:34:34,838 --> 00:34:36,271 So tell me: 656 00:34:36,438 --> 00:34:38,747 How is it that a man like you... 657 00:34:38,918 --> 00:34:42,831 ...so bald and so quirky and funny...? 658 00:34:42,998 --> 00:34:45,592 How is it you're not taken? 659 00:34:46,958 --> 00:34:48,755 Well, Marisa... 660 00:34:48,918 --> 00:34:51,068 ...you see, the thing is... 661 00:34:53,078 --> 00:34:55,148 ...I'm sort of engaged. 662 00:34:57,398 --> 00:34:58,672 What? 663 00:34:58,838 --> 00:35:01,636 I'm, you know, "engaged." 664 00:35:09,238 --> 00:35:13,629 - Hey, look, there's a spot right in front. - Always, Jerry. Always. 665 00:35:17,678 --> 00:35:19,953 Was that delicious or what? 666 00:35:20,118 --> 00:35:21,676 Where you gonna get a better meal? 667 00:35:21,838 --> 00:35:23,112 It's better than Danny's. 668 00:35:23,278 --> 00:35:25,234 Danny's? Come on. 669 00:35:25,398 --> 00:35:26,672 - Hello, Jack. - Doris. 670 00:35:26,838 --> 00:35:28,556 - Hi, Jack. Hi, Doris. - Jerry. 671 00:35:28,718 --> 00:35:30,549 Hello, Morty. 672 00:35:31,558 --> 00:35:34,197 Well, you missed the early-bird. 673 00:35:34,358 --> 00:35:35,916 Yeah? So? 674 00:35:36,838 --> 00:35:40,353 Must be nice to have that kind of money. 675 00:35:41,038 --> 00:35:42,357 Bernie. 676 00:35:42,518 --> 00:35:44,986 Look who's eating at 6:00. 677 00:35:45,158 --> 00:35:48,275 Your suddenly well-to-do president. 678 00:35:48,438 --> 00:35:50,315 Stop it, Jack. 679 00:35:50,478 --> 00:35:53,390 You enjoy your last meal in office. 680 00:35:53,558 --> 00:35:55,310 Tomorrow, when they kick you out... 681 00:35:55,478 --> 00:35:59,391 ...you'll have plenty of time to drive around in your Cadillac. 682 00:35:59,558 --> 00:36:01,514 They're not kicking me out. 683 00:36:01,678 --> 00:36:03,475 You don't have the votes. 684 00:36:03,638 --> 00:36:05,151 That's what you think. 685 00:36:05,318 --> 00:36:07,468 - We'll see. - Yes, we will. 686 00:36:07,758 --> 00:36:10,192 All right, let's eat already. 687 00:36:17,598 --> 00:36:19,270 - Hi, Susan. - Hi. 688 00:36:19,438 --> 00:36:23,067 Hi. Come in. Come in. 689 00:36:23,238 --> 00:36:26,275 - Have a seat. - Elaine, I have to ask you a question. 690 00:36:26,438 --> 00:36:29,077 - Oh, sure. - Are you having an affair with George? 691 00:36:29,238 --> 00:36:30,830 What? 692 00:36:37,518 --> 00:36:40,271 Don't be ridiculous. 693 00:36:40,438 --> 00:36:42,508 I mean, why would anyone wanna sleep-? 694 00:36:46,038 --> 00:36:47,949 Well, obviously... 695 00:36:48,998 --> 00:36:50,989 You know- Of- Of- 696 00:36:51,158 --> 00:36:53,877 Why would you think I was having an affair with George? 697 00:36:54,038 --> 00:36:58,350 Oh, because he said that he had to talk with you earlier about some... 698 00:36:58,518 --> 00:37:00,156 ...problem that you were having. 699 00:37:00,318 --> 00:37:02,832 Yeah. Yeah, I did have to talk with him. 700 00:37:02,998 --> 00:37:05,273 I definitely had to talk with him. 701 00:37:05,438 --> 00:37:09,636 I was having a problem with my boyfriend. 702 00:37:09,798 --> 00:37:12,437 - Art Vandelay? - Yeah, Art Vandelay. 703 00:37:12,598 --> 00:37:14,987 I'm sorry. I- I feel like an idiot. 704 00:37:15,158 --> 00:37:16,989 No, no. 705 00:37:17,158 --> 00:37:18,989 That's okay. 706 00:37:19,158 --> 00:37:21,228 - Forget that we ever talked. - It is so forgotten. 707 00:37:21,398 --> 00:37:22,672 - All right. - Okay. 708 00:37:22,838 --> 00:37:24,908 Okay. It's no problem. 709 00:37:28,398 --> 00:37:30,673 So was George helpful at all? 710 00:37:30,838 --> 00:37:34,831 Yeah. Oh, yes. Yes, he was very helpful. 711 00:37:36,478 --> 00:37:39,072 Because Art and I were getting into this whole thing... 712 00:37:39,238 --> 00:37:41,706 ...about his business. 713 00:37:41,878 --> 00:37:44,028 - You know he's an importer-exporter? - Yeah. 714 00:37:44,198 --> 00:37:47,270 George felt that I was too adamant in my stand... 715 00:37:47,438 --> 00:37:50,236 ...that Art should focus on the exporting... 716 00:37:50,398 --> 00:37:52,354 ...and forget about the importing. 717 00:37:52,518 --> 00:37:55,908 Wait a minute. I thought that Art wanted to give up the exporting. 718 00:37:56,078 --> 00:37:58,751 - What did I say? - The importing. 719 00:37:58,918 --> 00:38:00,829 I did? 720 00:38:01,558 --> 00:38:04,595 So, what does he import? 721 00:38:05,878 --> 00:38:07,550 Chips. 722 00:38:08,558 --> 00:38:10,992 - What kind of chips? - Potato. 723 00:38:11,158 --> 00:38:13,388 - Some corn. - And what does he export? 724 00:38:14,398 --> 00:38:16,354 Diapers. 725 00:38:16,518 --> 00:38:19,669 - I'm sorry to bother you. - Oh, no, it's okay. 726 00:38:21,078 --> 00:38:22,670 Okay. 727 00:38:28,318 --> 00:38:29,546 Come on, George, pick up. 728 00:38:29,718 --> 00:38:31,834 Oh, pick up. Oh, pick up. 729 00:38:36,518 --> 00:38:38,110 - Hi. - Hi. So, George... 730 00:38:38,278 --> 00:38:40,746 ...what does Art Vandelay import? 731 00:38:42,198 --> 00:38:45,634 Matches. Really long matches. 732 00:38:52,478 --> 00:38:55,834 There she is. Okay, if I could have your attention for a minute here. 733 00:38:56,918 --> 00:38:59,796 We're calling this emergency meeting of the board of Phase Two... 734 00:38:59,958 --> 00:39:03,314 ...to consider a motion of impeachment of our president, Morty Seinfeld. 735 00:39:03,958 --> 00:39:05,949 - Nervous, Jack? - What for? 736 00:39:06,158 --> 00:39:08,353 Because I have the votes. 737 00:39:08,518 --> 00:39:10,793 - Nice to see you, Mrs. Choate. - Hello, Morty. 738 00:39:11,158 --> 00:39:14,946 Building A, are you for or against the motion to impeach? 739 00:39:15,118 --> 00:39:18,076 - What does that mean? - It means if you're for the motion... 740 00:39:18,238 --> 00:39:19,637 ...you're against Morty. 741 00:39:19,798 --> 00:39:21,231 So why don't you say that? 742 00:39:21,398 --> 00:39:23,309 Hey. I'm running the meeting. 743 00:39:23,718 --> 00:39:25,549 If you think so. 744 00:39:26,038 --> 00:39:27,915 - Building A. - For impeachment. 745 00:39:28,078 --> 00:39:30,797 - Building B. - Against impeachment. 746 00:39:30,958 --> 00:39:33,472 - Building C. - For impeachment. 747 00:39:33,638 --> 00:39:36,106 - Building D. - Against impeachment. 748 00:39:36,278 --> 00:39:38,997 I can't believe you got that old bag. 749 00:39:41,718 --> 00:39:43,151 Help! Someone help! 750 00:39:43,318 --> 00:39:44,546 Shut up, you old bag. 751 00:39:45,038 --> 00:39:47,154 Thief! Thief! 752 00:39:47,758 --> 00:39:48,907 It's him. 753 00:39:50,358 --> 00:39:52,076 It's your son. 754 00:39:52,238 --> 00:39:53,717 Now I know where I saw him. 755 00:39:53,878 --> 00:39:55,869 He stole my marble rye. 756 00:39:56,038 --> 00:39:58,506 My son never stole anything. He's a good boy. 757 00:39:58,678 --> 00:40:00,828 They should lock him up. 758 00:40:01,198 --> 00:40:04,235 Like father, like son. 759 00:40:04,758 --> 00:40:06,589 I change my vote. 760 00:40:06,758 --> 00:40:08,271 I vote to impeach. 761 00:40:08,438 --> 00:40:10,998 Me too. I change my vote. 762 00:40:11,158 --> 00:40:13,274 - All those in favour say aye. - Aye! 763 00:40:13,438 --> 00:40:14,791 All opposed? 764 00:40:14,958 --> 00:40:17,153 The ayes have it. The motion passes. 765 00:40:17,318 --> 00:40:20,913 Morty Seinfeld, you are officially dismissed as condo president. 766 00:40:21,078 --> 00:40:22,955 As vice president, Jack Klompus... 767 00:40:23,118 --> 00:40:25,268 ...in accordance with the Phase Two constitution... 768 00:40:25,438 --> 00:40:27,474 ...is hereby installed as president. 769 00:40:27,638 --> 00:40:29,390 Hear, hear, Jack. 770 00:40:29,558 --> 00:40:31,753 Good for you, honey. 771 00:40:36,438 --> 00:40:38,429 All right, I know you're in there. 772 00:40:38,598 --> 00:40:40,395 I know you can hear me. 773 00:40:40,558 --> 00:40:42,992 You win, okay? You win. 774 00:40:43,318 --> 00:40:45,513 I can't do it anymore. 775 00:40:46,038 --> 00:40:48,677 What do you want from me, an apology? 776 00:40:48,838 --> 00:40:50,317 All right. 777 00:40:50,478 --> 00:40:51,911 I'm sorry. 778 00:40:52,078 --> 00:40:55,548 There, I said it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 779 00:40:55,718 --> 00:40:59,791 I see now how we made you feel when we made you sit home waiting. 780 00:40:59,958 --> 00:41:02,995 I don't know why we do it. I guess maybe we just kind of enjoy... 781 00:41:03,158 --> 00:41:05,592 ...taking advantage of people. 782 00:41:05,798 --> 00:41:08,073 But all that's gonna change. 783 00:41:08,758 --> 00:41:11,716 From now on, no more 9 to 12, no more 1 to 5. 784 00:41:11,878 --> 00:41:14,028 We'll kind of have appointments. 785 00:41:14,198 --> 00:41:16,234 Eleven o'clock is gonna mean 11:00... 786 00:41:16,398 --> 00:41:20,914 ...and if we can't make it, I'm gonna call you, tell you why. 787 00:41:21,078 --> 00:41:24,673 For God's sakes, if a doctor can do it, why can't we? 788 00:41:27,318 --> 00:41:28,990 Anyway... 789 00:41:29,558 --> 00:41:31,230 ...that's it. 790 00:41:38,078 --> 00:41:40,467 I'm sorry, bub. 791 00:42:04,758 --> 00:42:06,988 The bags are in the car. And I guess we'd better go.