1 00:00:02,497 --> 00:00:04,010 You get to a point with your parents... 2 00:00:05,617 --> 00:00:08,609 ...where all you can do with them is eat. You can't talk anymore... 3 00:00:08,777 --> 00:00:11,974 ...but you wanna at least try and keep your mouths moving. 4 00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:14,446 And they're so anxious for it, you know. You come in: 5 00:00:14,617 --> 00:00:16,448 "How was the plane? You must be hungry. 6 00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:18,289 How did you sleep? Ready for breakfast?" 7 00:00:18,497 --> 00:00:21,091 My mother will argue with me about what I like. 8 00:00:21,257 --> 00:00:24,294 "Can I have a piece of pumpkin pie?" "You don't like pumpkin pie." 9 00:00:24,457 --> 00:00:26,687 "Yes, I do." "Since when?" 10 00:00:26,857 --> 00:00:28,449 "What's the difference? Can I have it?" 11 00:00:28,617 --> 00:00:32,053 "No. I have never seen you eat a piece of pumpkin pie." 12 00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:38,333 Mr. Peterman sent me over here for a physical... 13 00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:40,613 ...because as you may or may not know... 14 00:00:40,817 --> 00:00:43,889 ...he and I are going on a trip to Kenya. 15 00:00:44,777 --> 00:00:46,449 Africa. 16 00:00:47,017 --> 00:00:49,690 It's my first such mission for the company. 17 00:00:50,377 --> 00:00:52,937 The Masai Bushmen wear these great sandals... 18 00:00:53,097 --> 00:00:55,565 ...and we're gonna knock them off. 19 00:00:55,937 --> 00:00:58,405 Not the Masai, the sandals. 20 00:00:58,777 --> 00:01:01,769 - I'll need a urine sample. - Right. 21 00:01:03,177 --> 00:01:05,566 Africa? Do you know how hot it gets there? 22 00:01:05,777 --> 00:01:08,052 Like 150 degrees. 23 00:01:08,217 --> 00:01:10,811 Your skin is gonna be simmering with boils. 24 00:01:11,017 --> 00:01:13,053 Oh, come on. 25 00:01:13,217 --> 00:01:14,696 You coming to The Tonight Show? 26 00:01:14,857 --> 00:01:17,007 Yeah, yeah. My parents wanna come too, is that okay? 27 00:01:17,217 --> 00:01:19,572 - Sure. My parents will be there. - The Tonight Show? 28 00:01:19,737 --> 00:01:21,250 Yeah, they're in town. You wanna go? 29 00:01:21,457 --> 00:01:23,288 - Are you doing new material? - No. 30 00:01:23,457 --> 00:01:24,731 I don't think so. 31 00:01:27,417 --> 00:01:30,090 Hey, the super's in my bathroom changing my showerhead. 32 00:01:30,297 --> 00:01:32,765 - Have they changed yours? - No, he's doing mine next. 33 00:01:32,937 --> 00:01:36,213 - They're low-flow, you know. - Low-flow? 34 00:01:36,377 --> 00:01:38,732 Well, I don't like the sound of that. 35 00:01:40,457 --> 00:01:42,607 So, what are your parents doing here in New York? 36 00:01:42,817 --> 00:01:44,091 Well, they were humiliated. 37 00:01:44,257 --> 00:01:46,771 After the impeachment, my father left office in disgrace. 38 00:01:47,537 --> 00:01:50,051 - So, what are their plans? - Well, this is the problem. 39 00:01:50,217 --> 00:01:53,095 They're moving into this new development. Here's the pamphlet. 40 00:01:53,297 --> 00:01:55,857 "Del Boca Vista."But they're not quite ready to go back... 41 00:01:56,017 --> 00:01:58,850 ...so they're in seclusion here for a while at Uncle Leo's. 42 00:01:59,057 --> 00:02:00,649 The three of them in that tiny apartment? 43 00:02:00,857 --> 00:02:03,417 No, Leo's not there. He's got a girlfriend, Lydia. 44 00:02:03,577 --> 00:02:07,365 - In fact, he moved in with her. - Uncle Leo's having regular sex? 45 00:02:07,577 --> 00:02:10,091 Yeah, I know, it devalues the whole thing. 46 00:02:14,057 --> 00:02:15,649 - Hello. - What time do we have to be... 47 00:02:15,817 --> 00:02:17,296 ...at The Tonight Show on Thursday? 48 00:02:17,657 --> 00:02:21,332 - You gotta be there at 4:30. - But it comes on at 11:30. 49 00:02:21,537 --> 00:02:24,813 Yeah, well, they tape it in the afternoon and then they air it at 11:30. 50 00:02:25,017 --> 00:02:28,168 - How long they been doing this? - Thirty years. 51 00:02:28,377 --> 00:02:31,414 Helen, did you know that they tape this thing in the afternoon? 52 00:02:31,617 --> 00:02:33,608 All right. I'll see you later. 53 00:02:33,817 --> 00:02:36,012 Georgie, how come your parents never moved to Florida? 54 00:02:38,737 --> 00:02:40,329 Yeah, that is odd, isn't it? 55 00:02:40,537 --> 00:02:42,528 - Yeah, it is. - I mean, they're retired. 56 00:02:42,697 --> 00:02:44,653 There's no economic reason for them to be here. 57 00:02:45,057 --> 00:02:46,536 They have no friends. 58 00:02:46,697 --> 00:02:48,415 No social reason for them to be here. 59 00:02:48,617 --> 00:02:51,848 - You're all grown-up. - Yeah, they're through ruining my life. 60 00:02:52,017 --> 00:02:54,133 What the hell are they still doing here? 61 00:02:54,337 --> 00:02:56,248 Let me see this pamphlet. 62 00:02:58,737 --> 00:03:00,455 All right, I'll... 63 00:03:00,617 --> 00:03:02,414 I'll get back to you. 64 00:03:06,817 --> 00:03:08,375 - Hello? - Where can I buy some ice? 65 00:03:08,537 --> 00:03:10,209 Your father likes a lot of ice. 66 00:03:11,177 --> 00:03:13,372 I don't know. Maybe get an ice tray? 67 00:03:13,577 --> 00:03:16,137 - I can do that. - You know, Dad just called me. 68 00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:18,413 Yeah, I know. His phlebitis is acting up. 69 00:03:18,617 --> 00:03:20,733 Yeah. All right. Well, I got some people here. 70 00:03:20,937 --> 00:03:22,370 - Okay. - All right, bye. 71 00:03:22,537 --> 00:03:23,811 - You see this? - What? 72 00:03:23,977 --> 00:03:26,013 Any thought pops into their head, they call me... 73 00:03:26,177 --> 00:03:28,088 ...because it's a local call now. 74 00:03:28,297 --> 00:03:31,255 I'm used to a 1200-mile buffer zone. 75 00:03:31,417 --> 00:03:34,534 I can't handle this. Plus, I got the dinners, I got the pop-ins. 76 00:03:34,697 --> 00:03:38,212 - They pop in. It's brutal. - Any idea when they're going back? 77 00:03:38,377 --> 00:03:40,891 The only way out is if Leo breaks up with his girlfriend... 78 00:03:41,057 --> 00:03:43,969 ...and moves back in. Then they would have to go back to Florida. 79 00:03:44,417 --> 00:03:45,406 How's that gonna happen? 80 00:03:46,737 --> 00:03:49,809 It's about time you called your uncle. We gotta do this once a week. 81 00:03:51,137 --> 00:03:53,093 Once a week? 82 00:03:53,537 --> 00:03:54,856 So how's Lydia? 83 00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:56,735 She's a real tiger. 84 00:03:57,177 --> 00:03:58,576 I don't know how you do it. 85 00:03:58,897 --> 00:04:01,365 - What? - Well, a man like you... 86 00:04:01,537 --> 00:04:05,325 ...limiting yourself to one woman. I don't know. It's none of my business. 87 00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:07,493 What are you talking about? 88 00:04:07,817 --> 00:04:10,490 - Well- - Look at this. 89 00:04:10,657 --> 00:04:13,217 I told them medium rare. It's medium. 90 00:04:13,417 --> 00:04:16,614 - It happens. - I bet that cook is an anti-Semite. 91 00:04:16,817 --> 00:04:18,296 He has no idea who you are. 92 00:04:18,457 --> 00:04:21,972 They don't just overcook a hamburger, Jerry. 93 00:04:22,177 --> 00:04:24,088 Fine. Anyway, the point I was making... 94 00:04:24,257 --> 00:04:27,408 ...before Goebbels made your hamburger here is this: 95 00:04:27,577 --> 00:04:30,853 A man like you could be dating women 20 years younger. 96 00:04:31,057 --> 00:04:33,776 Come on, Uncle Leo, I've seen the way women look at you. 97 00:04:33,977 --> 00:04:37,686 When's the last time you looked in the mirror? You're an Adonis. 98 00:04:37,857 --> 00:04:40,007 You've got beautiful features, lovely skin. 99 00:04:40,217 --> 00:04:43,653 You're in the prime of your life here. You should be swinging. 100 00:04:43,857 --> 00:04:46,417 If I were you, I'd tell this Lydia character: 101 00:04:46,617 --> 00:04:47,891 "It's been real." 102 00:04:48,057 --> 00:04:50,776 Move back into that bachelor pad and put out a sign: 103 00:04:50,937 --> 00:04:53,451 "Open for business." 104 00:04:53,897 --> 00:04:55,250 Believe me, I thought about it... 105 00:04:55,417 --> 00:04:59,296 ...but she is so perfect in every way, I can't see a flaw. 106 00:04:59,497 --> 00:05:01,453 Well, keep looking. 107 00:05:03,097 --> 00:05:04,894 Oh, hi, Mr. Peterman. 108 00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:07,736 Do you realize how short the Kalahari Bushmen are? 109 00:05:07,937 --> 00:05:10,849 I'm gonna look like a giant to those guys. 110 00:05:12,337 --> 00:05:14,055 I'm afraid I have some bad news, Elaine. 111 00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:17,132 It appears you will not be accompanying me to Africa. 112 00:05:17,577 --> 00:05:19,772 What? Why not? 113 00:05:19,977 --> 00:05:22,366 I'm afraid it's your urine, Elaine. 114 00:05:22,537 --> 00:05:25,574 You've tested positive for opium. 115 00:05:25,777 --> 00:05:27,768 - Opium? - That's right, Elaine. 116 00:05:27,977 --> 00:05:30,013 White Lotus. Yam-yam. 117 00:05:30,177 --> 00:05:32,407 Shanghai Sally. 118 00:05:32,617 --> 00:05:35,609 Well, that's impossible. I've never done a drug in my life. 119 00:05:35,777 --> 00:05:37,768 Dr. Strugatz must have made a mistake. 120 00:05:37,977 --> 00:05:39,569 Not a chance. 121 00:05:39,737 --> 00:05:43,013 I'm afraid I'll just have to find someone else to accompany me on my journey. 122 00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:45,850 The Dark Continent is no place for an addict, Elaine. 123 00:05:46,537 --> 00:05:49,210 Obviously, Mr. Peterman, there's something wrong with this test. 124 00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:51,294 I don't take opium. 125 00:05:51,457 --> 00:05:54,255 Let me take another one, please? I'll call the doctor right now. 126 00:05:54,417 --> 00:05:56,328 I'll take a pop urine test. 127 00:05:57,457 --> 00:06:01,416 - All right, Elaine. - Oh, thank you, Mr. Peterman. 128 00:06:02,777 --> 00:06:04,927 I'll be ready in three minutes. 129 00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:09,414 Boy, it's cold outside, huh? 130 00:06:09,577 --> 00:06:12,250 Oh, these New York winters. 131 00:06:12,417 --> 00:06:13,770 Bitter cold. Bitter. 132 00:06:13,977 --> 00:06:16,730 I was out for five minutes before. I couldn't feel my extremities. 133 00:06:16,937 --> 00:06:19,212 What extremities? 134 00:06:20,057 --> 00:06:23,493 You know what the temperature in Florida is today? 135 00:06:23,657 --> 00:06:25,295 Seventy-nine. 136 00:06:25,497 --> 00:06:27,215 That's almost 80. 137 00:06:27,857 --> 00:06:30,849 Yeah, I read someplace, the life expectancy in Florida... 138 00:06:31,017 --> 00:06:35,056 ...is 81. And in Queens, 73. 139 00:06:35,257 --> 00:06:37,896 So, George, why are you here? 140 00:06:38,097 --> 00:06:42,375 What, I can't stop by and visit my parents? 141 00:06:42,537 --> 00:06:44,050 What's this? 142 00:06:44,257 --> 00:06:47,215 That's where the Seinfelds are moving. They got a great deal. 143 00:06:47,377 --> 00:06:49,527 - Yeah? - You know what they got in Florida? 144 00:06:49,697 --> 00:06:51,050 Jai alai. 145 00:06:51,217 --> 00:06:53,731 You bet on the games, you clean up. 146 00:06:53,937 --> 00:06:56,451 - I don't bet. - Well, what about the dolphins? 147 00:06:56,617 --> 00:06:58,096 You can swim with the dolphins there. 148 00:06:58,297 --> 00:07:00,367 I don't swim. 149 00:07:00,777 --> 00:07:02,335 Well, you could pet them. 150 00:07:02,497 --> 00:07:04,692 They come right out of the water onto the sidewalks. 151 00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:07,889 Are you trying to get rid of us? 152 00:07:12,377 --> 00:07:13,856 I care about your comfort. 153 00:07:14,057 --> 00:07:15,490 Be it here in Queens... 154 00:07:15,657 --> 00:07:18,296 ...or 1200 miles away. 155 00:07:23,217 --> 00:07:24,650 No? 156 00:07:28,257 --> 00:07:30,487 Jerry. Jerry! 157 00:07:33,417 --> 00:07:35,533 - You too, huh? - Yeah. 158 00:07:36,817 --> 00:07:39,126 These showers are horrible. There's no pressure. 159 00:07:39,297 --> 00:07:41,891 - I can't get the shampoo out. - Me either. 160 00:07:42,097 --> 00:07:45,726 If I don't have a good shower, I am not myself. I feel weak and ineffectual. 161 00:07:45,897 --> 00:07:47,728 - I'm not Kramer. - You? What about me? 162 00:07:47,897 --> 00:07:49,216 I got The Tonight Show tonight. 163 00:07:49,377 --> 00:07:51,686 I'm gonna have to shower in the dressing room. 164 00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:55,414 - Where you going? - Well, I gotta find another shower. 165 00:08:01,137 --> 00:08:03,332 - They got you too? - This is awful. 166 00:08:03,497 --> 00:08:05,055 I'm not Newman. 167 00:08:08,057 --> 00:08:12,209 "Rid"? Ma, come on. The word is "care.""Care." 168 00:08:11,377 --> 00:08:13,891 - Oh, Elaine. Yeah. - Kramer, you look terrible. 169 00:08:14,057 --> 00:08:17,015 Yeah. I need the keys to your apartment. I gotta take a shower. 170 00:08:17,217 --> 00:08:20,254 - What's wrong with your shower? - There's no water pressure. 171 00:08:20,457 --> 00:08:22,652 - Why didn't you go see Jerry? - Jerry's got nothing. 172 00:08:22,817 --> 00:08:25,695 Newman's got nothing. You're the one who's got the good stuff. 173 00:08:25,897 --> 00:08:29,333 And I need it bad, baby, because I feel like I got bugs crawling up my skin. 174 00:08:29,537 --> 00:08:32,415 - Now, you gotta help me out. - Not on my watch! 175 00:08:32,617 --> 00:08:35,051 I won't have you turning my office into a den of iniquity! 176 00:08:35,217 --> 00:08:37,492 - What's wrong with you? - Get your fix somewhere else! 177 00:08:37,897 --> 00:08:39,967 Go on, beat it! 178 00:08:43,017 --> 00:08:47,568 - Mr. Peterman, what are you doing? - Elaine, you're out of control. 179 00:08:47,737 --> 00:08:49,136 You need help. 180 00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:51,853 I know what you're going through. 181 00:08:52,017 --> 00:08:54,815 I, too, once fell under the spell of opium. 182 00:08:55,017 --> 00:08:57,451 It was 1979. I was traveling the Yangtze... 183 00:08:57,617 --> 00:08:59,369 ...in search of a Mongolian horsehair vest. 184 00:08:59,577 --> 00:09:01,056 Oh, for God's sake. 185 00:09:01,257 --> 00:09:04,613 I had got to the market after sundown. All of the clothing traders had gone. 186 00:09:04,777 --> 00:09:06,733 But a different sort of trader still lurked. 187 00:09:10,297 --> 00:09:14,006 Mr. Peterman, I don't know what's going on here. 188 00:09:14,177 --> 00:09:17,374 I am not addicted to anything. 189 00:09:17,577 --> 00:09:19,807 Oh, Elaine. 190 00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:23,731 The toll road of denial is a long and dangerous one. 191 00:09:23,937 --> 00:09:26,531 The price? Your soul. 192 00:09:28,457 --> 00:09:31,767 Oh, and by the way, you have till 5:00 to clear out your desk. 193 00:09:31,937 --> 00:09:33,370 You're fired. 194 00:09:37,257 --> 00:09:40,215 - All they serve is chicken? - There's more food down the hall. 195 00:09:40,417 --> 00:09:42,567 Here, wrap it up. We'll take it home. 196 00:09:44,457 --> 00:09:46,368 - Oh, hey. - Oh, hi. 197 00:09:46,537 --> 00:09:47,731 Hello, Seinfelds. 198 00:09:47,897 --> 00:09:49,774 - Hello. - Hi, Estelle. 199 00:09:49,977 --> 00:09:52,537 This is your dressing room? They treat you like Toscanini. 200 00:09:53,297 --> 00:09:56,289 Oh, Jerry, I don't know how you can do this. 201 00:09:56,457 --> 00:09:58,288 I'm so nervous for you. 202 00:09:58,497 --> 00:09:59,850 Actually, I'm drunk. 203 00:10:01,177 --> 00:10:03,327 Hey. Hey, how is Florida, huh? 204 00:10:03,537 --> 00:10:05,289 We just bought a new place down there. 205 00:10:05,497 --> 00:10:07,567 I know. We were looking at the brochure. 206 00:10:06,897 --> 00:10:10,094 "Just a taste,"he said. That was all it took. 207 00:10:07,777 --> 00:10:09,449 - You what? - Why, you thinking of moving? 208 00:10:09,657 --> 00:10:11,693 - Not really. - Because if you are, you shouldn't. 209 00:10:11,857 --> 00:10:13,449 There's nothing available there. 210 00:10:13,657 --> 00:10:17,536 Are you telling me there's not one condo available in Del Boca Vista? 211 00:10:17,737 --> 00:10:20,535 That's right. They went like hotcakes. 212 00:10:20,697 --> 00:10:22,369 - How'd you get yours? - Got lucky. 213 00:10:22,857 --> 00:10:25,610 Are you trying to keep us out of Del Boca Vista? 214 00:10:25,817 --> 00:10:27,648 I know this doesn't seem like work to you... 215 00:10:27,817 --> 00:10:30,854 ...but if you'd conduct the psychopath convention down the hall... 216 00:10:31,057 --> 00:10:34,254 ...so I could just get a little personal space. 217 00:10:36,297 --> 00:10:38,652 How could I have tested positive twice? 218 00:10:38,857 --> 00:10:41,655 Once, I can understand. That's a mistake. But twice? 219 00:10:41,857 --> 00:10:43,449 Yeah, it's hard to figure. 220 00:10:43,617 --> 00:10:46,290 I mean, I've lost my job. I can't go to Africa. 221 00:10:46,497 --> 00:10:48,727 I was gonna meet the Bushmen of the Kalahari. 222 00:10:48,937 --> 00:10:50,893 - The Bushmen? - And the Bushwomen. 223 00:10:51,097 --> 00:10:53,292 Excuse me. I couldn't help overhearing. 224 00:10:53,497 --> 00:10:55,533 I notice you're eating a poppy seed muffin there. 225 00:10:55,737 --> 00:10:57,329 Yeah, I eat these muffins all the time. 226 00:10:57,537 --> 00:10:59,414 Well, you know what opium is made from. 227 00:11:01,897 --> 00:11:03,410 Poppies! 228 00:11:06,377 --> 00:11:08,288 Welcome back. Talking with Jerry Seinfeld. 229 00:11:08,457 --> 00:11:10,766 Jerry, let me ask you, I saw some people back there... 230 00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:14,009 - ... they look lik e family. Is that family? - I got some family backstage. 231 00:11:14,177 --> 00:11:15,530 My family's nuts. They're crazy. 232 00:11:15,697 --> 00:11:17,608 - Yeah? - Yeah. 233 00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:19,813 My Uncle Leo, I had lunch with him the other day. 234 00:11:19,977 --> 00:11:22,047 He's one of these guys that anything goes wrong... 235 00:11:22,217 --> 00:11:23,491 ...he blames anti-Semitism. 236 00:11:23,697 --> 00:11:26,734 Know what I mean? The spaghetti's not al dente? Cook, anti-Semite. 237 00:11:26,897 --> 00:11:28,774 - Right there, yeah. - Loses a bet on a horse? 238 00:11:28,937 --> 00:11:32,486 - Secretariat, anti-Semitic. - Even the horse- Even the animal. 239 00:11:32,657 --> 00:11:34,966 The High Holy Days in the temple? Rabbi, anti-Semite. 240 00:11:42,257 --> 00:11:45,727 Listen to this. My Uncle Leo broke up with his girlfriend because of my bit. 241 00:11:45,897 --> 00:11:48,775 She thought it was funny, so he accused her of being an anti-Semite. 242 00:11:48,937 --> 00:11:51,326 They had a fight, now he's moving back to his apartment. 243 00:11:51,497 --> 00:11:53,965 Know what this means? My parents are gonna go back to Florida. 244 00:11:54,137 --> 00:11:55,490 What? 245 00:11:55,657 --> 00:11:57,488 What number is this? 246 00:11:58,537 --> 00:12:00,607 Oh, I'm terribly sorry. 247 00:12:02,457 --> 00:12:05,733 Kramer, my parents are gonna have to move back to Florida. Isn't that great? 248 00:12:06,057 --> 00:12:07,695 Yeah, well, I'm really happy for you. 249 00:12:08,617 --> 00:12:11,927 Hey, you're not giving it to me, man. What's wrong? 250 00:12:12,257 --> 00:12:15,010 I just took a bath, Jerry. A bath. 251 00:12:15,377 --> 00:12:18,130 - No good? - It's disgusting. 252 00:12:18,297 --> 00:12:22,051 I'm sitting there in a tepid pool of my own filth. 253 00:12:22,217 --> 00:12:26,733 All kinds of microscopic parasites and organisms... 254 00:12:26,897 --> 00:12:29,127 ...having sex all around me. 255 00:12:30,137 --> 00:12:32,014 Well, you used to sit in that hot tub. 256 00:12:32,217 --> 00:12:36,005 Jerry, that was super-heated water. Nothing could live in that. 257 00:12:36,217 --> 00:12:38,651 - Chicken? - Oh, yeah. 258 00:12:39,457 --> 00:12:41,175 Well, this you're not gonna believe. 259 00:12:41,377 --> 00:12:44,016 I found out why I was testing positive for opium. 260 00:12:44,177 --> 00:12:46,486 - Poppy seeds. - Poppy seeds. 261 00:12:46,697 --> 00:12:48,528 - Yep, that makes sense. - Yeah. 262 00:12:48,697 --> 00:12:50,528 - Here you want some chicken? - Yeah, thanks. 263 00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:53,456 So I'm gonna get tested again later. 264 00:12:53,617 --> 00:12:58,008 Hopefully I'll get my job back, and I will be on my way to Africa. 265 00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,813 Hello, Newman. 266 00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:08,735 Hello, Jerry. Well, I may have a solution to our little problem. 267 00:13:10,537 --> 00:13:12,607 - Elaine, will you excuse us? - Oh, come on, Newman. 268 00:13:12,817 --> 00:13:15,251 I have a private matter to discuss with my fellow tenants. 269 00:13:15,417 --> 00:13:16,896 If you don't mind... 270 00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:18,849 - Jerry- - Look, sister, go get yourself... 271 00:13:19,017 --> 00:13:21,008 ...a cup of coffee, all right? Beat it. 272 00:13:23,097 --> 00:13:25,930 All right. Now, here's the lowdown. Through a certain connection... 273 00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:28,657 ...I've been able to locate some black-market showerheads. 274 00:13:28,857 --> 00:13:30,973 They're all made in the former Yugoslavia. 275 00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:34,169 And from what I hear, the Serbs are fanatic about their showers. 276 00:13:34,377 --> 00:13:36,572 Not from the footage I've seen. 277 00:13:40,137 --> 00:13:42,856 Nevertheless, sometime this afternoon... 278 00:13:43,017 --> 00:13:46,089 ...behind the market diner, an unmarked van will be waiting. 279 00:13:46,257 --> 00:13:48,817 I'm expecting the call at any time. 280 00:13:48,977 --> 00:13:51,252 - Are you in? - I'm down. 281 00:13:51,417 --> 00:13:52,930 Jerry? 282 00:13:58,137 --> 00:14:02,369 So, Georgie, we have some big news for you. 283 00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:05,370 - Big news? - We're moving to Florida. 284 00:14:05,937 --> 00:14:07,450 What? 285 00:14:07,657 --> 00:14:10,046 You're moving to Florida? 286 00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:13,607 That's wonderful. I'm so happy! 287 00:14:13,777 --> 00:14:16,132 For you! I'm so happy for you! 288 00:14:16,297 --> 00:14:18,686 Oh, what do you need this cold weather for? 289 00:14:18,897 --> 00:14:20,171 Has nothing to do with weather. 290 00:14:20,337 --> 00:14:22,373 - It's because of the Seinfelds. - What do you mean? 291 00:14:22,577 --> 00:14:25,091 They don't want us there, so we're going. 292 00:14:26,057 --> 00:14:29,493 We're moving right into Del Boca Vista! 293 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,767 - So you're moving there for spite. - Absolutely. 294 00:14:34,097 --> 00:14:36,736 No one tells Frank Costanza what to do! 295 00:14:36,937 --> 00:14:40,327 That's right! Who the hell are they? How dare they? 296 00:14:42,697 --> 00:14:45,416 So, Georgie, are you gonna come to visit us? 297 00:14:45,577 --> 00:14:49,570 Oh, every chance I get. 298 00:14:51,617 --> 00:14:54,256 Jerry, Jerry! I'm busting, I'm busting! 299 00:14:54,457 --> 00:14:57,096 - Well, what's going on? - My parents are moving to Florida! 300 00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:59,811 - Are you kidding? - Can you believe it? It's happening! 301 00:14:59,977 --> 00:15:02,366 It's finally happening, I'm free! 302 00:15:02,577 --> 00:15:05,250 - Well, where are they moving to? - Del Boca Vista. 303 00:15:05,457 --> 00:15:07,095 That's where my parents are gonna live. 304 00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:08,889 - I know. - We can visit together. 305 00:15:09,097 --> 00:15:10,371 Every five years! 306 00:15:12,617 --> 00:15:15,529 - That's incredible. - You know why they're moving there? 307 00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:17,415 - Why? - To spite your parents. 308 00:15:17,577 --> 00:15:18,851 - To spite my parents? - Yeah. 309 00:15:19,017 --> 00:15:21,577 - Your parents are crazy. - I know, they're out of their mind. 310 00:15:21,777 --> 00:15:23,130 - I don't believe it. - Fantastic. 311 00:15:23,337 --> 00:15:25,453 - My parents are moving back too. - Beautiful! 312 00:15:27,617 --> 00:15:31,371 I'm sorry Leo's moving back here. I'm not ready to go back to Florida. 313 00:15:31,577 --> 00:15:35,570 He was getting along so well with that woman. What happened? 314 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,211 Hello? 315 00:15:39,377 --> 00:15:42,847 - This is Frank Costanza. - What do you want? 316 00:15:43,017 --> 00:15:45,736 You think you can k eep us out of Florida? 317 00:15:45,937 --> 00:15:49,293 We're moving in lock, stock and barrel. 318 00:15:49,457 --> 00:15:51,175 We're gonna be in the pool. 319 00:15:51,337 --> 00:15:53,168 We're gonna be in the clubhouse. 320 00:15:53,337 --> 00:15:56,056 We're gonna be all over that shuffleboard court... 321 00:15:56,217 --> 00:15:59,766 ...and I dare you to keep me out! 322 00:16:01,697 --> 00:16:03,892 I'm sorry, we can't go back to Florida. 323 00:16:10,817 --> 00:16:12,694 I can't believe I didn't push for this sooner. 324 00:16:12,897 --> 00:16:15,809 You have no idea how your life is gonna improve as a result of this. 325 00:16:15,977 --> 00:16:17,535 Food tastes better. 326 00:16:17,697 --> 00:16:19,733 The air seems fresher. You'll have more energy... 327 00:16:19,897 --> 00:16:22,616 ...and self-confidence than you ever dreamed of. 328 00:16:24,297 --> 00:16:26,174 - Hello. - Hello, Jerry, it's your father. 329 00:16:26,377 --> 00:16:27,730 - Oh, hi, Dad. - Is it all right... 330 00:16:27,897 --> 00:16:30,536 ...if we move in with you for a little while? 331 00:16:31,417 --> 00:16:34,807 - What was that? - Nothing. A bottle broke, that's all. 332 00:16:34,977 --> 00:16:36,933 What do you mean, you're gonna move in here? 333 00:16:37,137 --> 00:16:39,605 Because the Costanzas are moving in to Del Boca Vista. 334 00:16:39,817 --> 00:16:42,377 - But it's a big complex. - You don't understand. 335 00:16:42,577 --> 00:16:44,772 You gotta have a buffer zone. 336 00:16:45,297 --> 00:16:48,448 All right, fine. Come over here. 337 00:16:49,177 --> 00:16:50,610 What? 338 00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:53,337 They're not going back to Florida. 339 00:16:53,497 --> 00:16:55,613 - They're moving here. - What? Why? 340 00:16:55,817 --> 00:16:58,047 Because your parents are going down there. 341 00:16:58,217 --> 00:17:01,607 My buffer zone just went from 1200 miles down to two feet. 342 00:17:01,777 --> 00:17:02,766 You gotta do something. 343 00:17:03,497 --> 00:17:05,886 Hey, I'm sorry. You had your buffer zone for many years. 344 00:17:06,057 --> 00:17:08,446 It's my time to live, baby. 345 00:17:12,097 --> 00:17:13,769 You know what you're doing, don't you? 346 00:17:13,937 --> 00:17:15,495 You're killing independent Jerry. 347 00:17:17,057 --> 00:17:19,446 I gotta go see my Uncle Leo. 348 00:17:19,617 --> 00:17:22,256 I think he may have made a big mistake. 349 00:17:23,017 --> 00:17:24,894 - Move back with Lydia? - Come on. 350 00:17:25,057 --> 00:17:26,649 You're lucky to have anybody. 351 00:17:27,617 --> 00:17:30,768 Last week you told me I was in my prime. I should be swinging. 352 00:17:30,977 --> 00:17:33,445 Swinging? What, are you out of your mind? 353 00:17:33,617 --> 00:17:35,335 Look at you. You're disgusting. 354 00:17:36,377 --> 00:17:37,651 You're bald. You're paunchy. 355 00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:41,054 All kinds of sounds are emanating from your body 24 hours a day. 356 00:17:41,297 --> 00:17:44,972 If there's a woman that can take your presence for more than 10 seconds... 357 00:17:45,137 --> 00:17:47,207 ...you should hang on to her like grim death. 358 00:17:47,377 --> 00:17:49,686 Which is not far off, by the way. 359 00:17:49,897 --> 00:17:53,446 - But she's an anti-Semite. - Can you blame her? 360 00:17:54,617 --> 00:17:56,812 You don't think he minds us staying here, do you? 361 00:17:57,017 --> 00:17:59,770 Why would he mind? We're his parents. 362 00:18:02,417 --> 00:18:03,975 - Hi, Elaine. - Hello. 363 00:18:04,457 --> 00:18:07,096 - Jerry's not here? - No. 364 00:18:08,297 --> 00:18:11,494 - Oh, my God. - What? 365 00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:13,773 A poppy seed. 366 00:18:13,937 --> 00:18:16,087 It must have been in the chicken. 367 00:18:16,257 --> 00:18:18,009 Oh, I'm dead. 368 00:18:18,177 --> 00:18:20,133 I'm going to the doctor's in a half an hour. 369 00:18:20,337 --> 00:18:22,612 - Why? - It's a long story. 370 00:18:22,817 --> 00:18:24,887 Just a second. I have to go to the bathroom. 371 00:18:26,737 --> 00:18:28,887 Wait. What are you gonna do in there? 372 00:18:29,057 --> 00:18:30,536 What am I gonna do in the bathroom? 373 00:18:30,697 --> 00:18:31,732 You gotta do me a favour. 374 00:18:32,097 --> 00:18:34,691 - Elaine, I really have- - Hold on a second, Mrs. Seinfeld. 375 00:18:34,897 --> 00:18:37,092 I need your sample. 376 00:18:37,257 --> 00:18:38,656 You want my urine? 377 00:18:38,857 --> 00:18:40,973 I need a clean urine sample from a woman. 378 00:18:41,177 --> 00:18:43,850 - I don't know. - Oh, please, Mrs. Seinfeld, please? 379 00:18:44,057 --> 00:18:45,649 Well, what am I gonna do it in? 380 00:18:46,697 --> 00:18:49,655 - Well, one of those glasses. - Jerry's glasses? 381 00:18:49,857 --> 00:18:53,896 Oh, yeah. He won't mind. Come on, you're his mom. 382 00:18:55,137 --> 00:18:57,651 I could- Should I use a coffee cup? 383 00:18:57,817 --> 00:19:00,490 - Yeah, coffee cup's fine. - Or maybe I could use a juice glass. 384 00:19:00,657 --> 00:19:02,773 Yes, yes. Fine, fine. A juice glass. It's perfect. 385 00:19:02,977 --> 00:19:05,252 - This one is kind of scratched. - It doesn't matter. 386 00:19:05,417 --> 00:19:08,489 - All right. How-? A milk glass. - A milk glass, a juice glass. 387 00:19:08,657 --> 00:19:11,490 - Any glass, just pick a glass. - Jerry really doesn't... 388 00:19:11,657 --> 00:19:14,535 - ... wash these very well. - Mrs. Seinfeld, choose a glass. 389 00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:17,092 Pick a glass, Mrs. Seinfeld. 390 00:19:18,377 --> 00:19:20,129 All right. I got everything here. 391 00:19:20,297 --> 00:19:22,094 I got the Cyclone F series... 392 00:19:22,297 --> 00:19:25,255 ...Hydra Jet Flow, Stockholm Superstream, you name it. 393 00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:26,856 What do you recommend? 394 00:19:27,057 --> 00:19:29,412 - What are you looking for? - Power, man, power. 395 00:19:29,577 --> 00:19:30,851 Like Silkwood. 396 00:19:31,017 --> 00:19:33,895 - That's for radiation. - That's right. 397 00:19:34,097 --> 00:19:35,928 Now, what is this? 398 00:19:36,137 --> 00:19:38,128 That's the Commando 450. I don't sell that one. 399 00:19:38,337 --> 00:19:40,089 No, that's what we want, the Commando 450. 400 00:19:40,297 --> 00:19:42,891 No, believe me. That's only used in the circus for elephants. 401 00:19:43,097 --> 00:19:44,894 - Just give it to us. - We'll pay anything. 402 00:19:45,057 --> 00:19:47,173 - Give me the money. - We've got the... 403 00:19:47,337 --> 00:19:49,851 - What about Jerry? - He couldn't handle that. 404 00:19:50,017 --> 00:19:51,291 He's delicate. 405 00:19:52,497 --> 00:19:55,569 It's nice being back at Leo's. Jerry's place was too small. 406 00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:57,529 First Leo breaks up, then he goes back. 407 00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,688 What the hell's going on? 408 00:19:59,857 --> 00:20:01,848 - Who is it? - It's the super. 409 00:20:02,017 --> 00:20:06,135 We're installing new low-flow showerheads in all the bathrooms. 410 00:20:06,297 --> 00:20:07,696 Low-flow? 411 00:20:07,857 --> 00:20:09,973 I don't like the sound of that. 412 00:20:10,937 --> 00:20:13,974 So as a result of your test being free of opium... 413 00:20:14,137 --> 00:20:17,413 - ... I am reinstating you. - Oh, yes! 414 00:20:17,577 --> 00:20:19,533 What a load off. 415 00:20:19,737 --> 00:20:21,932 So when are we going to Africa? 416 00:20:22,097 --> 00:20:23,655 I'm afraid I can't take you. 417 00:20:24,777 --> 00:20:26,210 What? Why not? 418 00:20:26,377 --> 00:20:29,414 Elaine, according to your urine analysis, you're menopausal. 419 00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:33,486 You have the metabolism of a 68-year-old woman. 420 00:20:33,817 --> 00:20:35,330 But I wanted to see the Bushmen. 421 00:20:35,697 --> 00:20:37,449 Oh, and one more thing. 422 00:20:37,617 --> 00:20:39,016 You may have osteoporosis. 423 00:20:41,217 --> 00:20:43,492 - Well, it's been a great visit. - Jerry, I'll tell you. 424 00:20:43,657 --> 00:20:46,694 First thing I'm gonna do when I get back to Florida is take a shower. 425 00:20:46,897 --> 00:20:49,252 At least the Costanzas changed their mind about moving. 426 00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:52,608 - They couldn't bear leaving George. - George must be happy about that. 427 00:20:53,137 --> 00:20:55,048 You have no idea. 428 00:20:56,777 --> 00:20:58,927 Take my swim trunks. I won't need them. 429 00:20:59,137 --> 00:21:01,731 What does he want with your swim trunks? 430 00:21:02,017 --> 00:21:03,689 Why should they go to waste? 431 00:21:12,737 --> 00:21:14,614 Oh, yeah.