1 00:00:02,747 --> 00:00:04,465 The pilot comes on with his announcements: 2 00:00:05,787 --> 00:00:07,539 "I'm going over this. I'm going over that. 3 00:00:07,707 --> 00:00:10,175 I'm taking a left. I'm bringing it up. I'm taking it down. 4 00:00:10,347 --> 00:00:12,622 I'm going right. I'm going this way. Going that way." 5 00:00:12,787 --> 00:00:15,984 And we're back there, "Yeah, that's all fine. 6 00:00:17,107 --> 00:00:21,339 Just do whatever the hell you gotta do. I don't know what the hell is going on." 7 00:00:21,947 --> 00:00:24,336 Do I bother him? Do I go knocking on the cockpit door? 8 00:00:24,507 --> 00:00:26,623 "I'm having the peanuts now. 9 00:00:28,187 --> 00:00:32,544 Just thought you might like to know what we're doing." 10 00:00:36,987 --> 00:00:38,818 Thank you. Good night. 11 00:00:40,347 --> 00:00:42,907 - Jerry! - Hey, hey. 12 00:00:43,067 --> 00:00:46,298 Sally Weaver. Susan Ross' roommate from college? 13 00:00:46,467 --> 00:00:49,186 - Hello? - Right. Oh, I'm sorry. 14 00:00:49,347 --> 00:00:52,419 - Oh, so you saw the show? - Saw it? I loved it. 15 00:00:52,587 --> 00:00:54,817 And thank you for the free tickets. You are so funny. 16 00:00:54,987 --> 00:00:56,545 - Oh, thanks. - No, no, I mean it. 17 00:00:56,707 --> 00:00:59,062 - You're very funny. - I believe you. 18 00:00:59,227 --> 00:01:00,819 Well, anyway, let me show you Memphis. 19 00:01:00,987 --> 00:01:03,455 - I am taking you out to dinner. - Oh, I'm sorry, I can't... 20 00:01:03,627 --> 00:01:06,221 - ... I'm going straight to the airport. - Oh, that's too bad. 21 00:01:06,387 --> 00:01:10,016 Susan thought we'd really get along. I guess because we're both wacko. 22 00:01:10,187 --> 00:01:13,418 You know what, you have to give this to them for me. Okay? 23 00:01:13,587 --> 00:01:15,179 Here, it's a wedding present. 24 00:01:15,347 --> 00:01:18,100 Oh, and Jerry, be careful with it, okay? Be very careful. 25 00:01:20,467 --> 00:01:21,741 George, as you may be aware... 26 00:01:21,907 --> 00:01:25,263 ...your mother and I are not moving to Del Boca Vista, Florida. 27 00:01:25,427 --> 00:01:28,339 - I am aware. - I was wondering, would it be okay... 28 00:01:28,507 --> 00:01:30,975 ...if I turned your room into a billiard parlor? 29 00:01:31,547 --> 00:01:32,741 A billiard parlor? 30 00:01:33,187 --> 00:01:36,543 Regulation table with a hi-fi, maybe even a bar. 31 00:01:36,707 --> 00:01:39,221 Give it some real authenticity. 32 00:01:40,027 --> 00:01:43,702 - Well, that's- Elaine. - Oh, hi, Frank. 33 00:01:43,867 --> 00:01:48,497 - Sit down. Join us, please. - Actually, I've gotta get to the thing. 34 00:01:48,667 --> 00:01:50,339 The thing's canceled. Sit down. 35 00:01:51,707 --> 00:01:53,345 Okay. 36 00:01:55,507 --> 00:01:59,056 So, Frank, did George ever show you that photo? 37 00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:00,422 What photo? 38 00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:03,226 The photo I took in Tuscany of the man in front of the sign... 39 00:02:03,387 --> 00:02:05,947 - ... that said Costanza. - There's a Costanza in Tuscany? 40 00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:08,782 Did he look like me? Did you talk to him? 41 00:02:08,947 --> 00:02:11,700 I didn't talk to anyone. I was just walking by and saw the sign. 42 00:02:11,867 --> 00:02:13,698 I thought George might get a kick out of it. 43 00:02:13,987 --> 00:02:16,057 I gotta get that picture. 44 00:02:16,227 --> 00:02:18,900 - It could be my cousin, Carlo. - Who is that? 45 00:02:19,067 --> 00:02:22,662 When the Costanzas came here, one brother stayed behind. 46 00:02:22,827 --> 00:02:25,102 I played with his son every day until the age of 4... 47 00:02:25,267 --> 00:02:28,339 - ... when we were separated. - So you weren't born here? 48 00:02:28,507 --> 00:02:31,579 No. That's why I could never be president. 49 00:02:31,747 --> 00:02:33,226 It always hurt me. 50 00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:37,016 That's why, even at an early age, I had no interest in politics. 51 00:02:37,187 --> 00:02:40,145 I refuse to vote. They don't want me, I don't want them! 52 00:02:40,307 --> 00:02:42,025 I don't know why you're getting riled up. 53 00:02:42,187 --> 00:02:43,825 There's probably a million Costanzas- 54 00:02:43,987 --> 00:02:45,705 Don't bring me down. 55 00:02:47,307 --> 00:02:50,583 - You have another copy of that photo? - No, I don't. 56 00:02:50,747 --> 00:02:53,466 - But, well, the Maestro might. - The Maestro? What Maestro? 57 00:02:53,627 --> 00:02:55,697 He's this guy that I went to Tuscany with. 58 00:02:55,867 --> 00:02:59,496 He's a great guy, but I just wouldn't feel comfortable calling him. 59 00:02:59,667 --> 00:03:00,895 Really? Why? 60 00:03:01,067 --> 00:03:03,865 Because he hasn't called me since we got back. 61 00:03:04,027 --> 00:03:08,896 I spilled wine on this 8-by-10 photo of one of his favorite Italian opera stars. 62 00:03:09,067 --> 00:03:10,466 Who? 63 00:03:10,627 --> 00:03:14,097 - You know the Three Tenors? - Yeah, Pavarotti, Domingo... 64 00:03:14,267 --> 00:03:16,656 - ... and the other guy. - The other guy. 65 00:03:21,307 --> 00:03:23,138 Can I take that box for you? 66 00:03:23,427 --> 00:03:25,861 Well, you better not. I'm supposed to be careful with it. 67 00:03:26,027 --> 00:03:28,097 Then I'll have to put your bag in the overhead. 68 00:03:28,267 --> 00:03:30,178 Oh, okay. 69 00:03:38,067 --> 00:03:39,625 There we go. 70 00:03:42,187 --> 00:03:44,496 - Oh, look at this. - What? 71 00:03:44,667 --> 00:03:46,703 I bought a bottle of barbecue sauce in Memphis. 72 00:03:46,867 --> 00:03:48,346 I think the stewardess broke it... 73 00:03:48,507 --> 00:03:51,499 ...when she jammed it in the overhead because of this stupid thing. 74 00:03:51,667 --> 00:03:53,385 Don't press the panic button. 75 00:03:53,707 --> 00:03:55,823 I'm sure that we can still salvage some sauce. 76 00:03:55,987 --> 00:03:57,625 I don't care about the sauce. 77 00:03:57,787 --> 00:04:00,540 It came in this funny bottle and there was a guy on the label... 78 00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:02,982 - ... looked exactly like Charles Grodin. - I see. 79 00:04:03,147 --> 00:04:05,945 No, you don't see. Because I'm going on the show this week... 80 00:04:06,107 --> 00:04:07,938 ...and this was gonna be my bit on the show. 81 00:04:08,107 --> 00:04:09,938 - Why don't you do your material? - I'm out. 82 00:04:11,707 --> 00:04:13,186 Boy, you better get to work. 83 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:15,778 Thanks for the tip. 84 00:04:16,387 --> 00:04:19,220 - Hey, buddies. - Hey. Hey, this is for you. 85 00:04:19,387 --> 00:04:21,457 It's from Susan's roommate, Sally. 86 00:04:21,627 --> 00:04:23,265 Oh, yeah, Sally called Susan. 87 00:04:23,427 --> 00:04:26,703 - Said you guys really hit it off. - Nobody hit anything off. 88 00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:28,937 She just gave me the box. 89 00:04:31,867 --> 00:04:35,223 - What the hell are you doing? - Well, I'm salvaging the sauce. 90 00:04:35,387 --> 00:04:36,581 What's the matter with you? 91 00:04:37,947 --> 00:04:39,505 Hey, hey, hey, come on. Come on. 92 00:04:39,667 --> 00:04:41,897 Jerry, why don't you do a bit on Styrofoam? 93 00:04:42,067 --> 00:04:45,298 - Like what? - You know, "What is all this stuff? 94 00:04:45,467 --> 00:04:47,662 Why do we need this stuff? 95 00:04:47,827 --> 00:04:51,536 And why do they make them so small?" 96 00:04:53,387 --> 00:04:54,979 Where's the punch line? 97 00:04:55,547 --> 00:04:57,538 It's all attitude. 98 00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:02,498 This is certainly a crappy gift. 99 00:05:02,667 --> 00:05:04,020 A doormat? 100 00:05:04,187 --> 00:05:06,018 That's what she had me lug up from Memphis? 101 00:05:06,187 --> 00:05:09,145 Pretty chintzy, huh? Considering the money she makes. 102 00:05:09,307 --> 00:05:11,343 She's a big executive for Federal Express. 103 00:05:11,667 --> 00:05:13,305 Federal Express? 104 00:05:13,467 --> 00:05:15,697 Is she out of her mind? Why didn't she just ship it? 105 00:05:15,867 --> 00:05:19,382 Look, it's personalized. "The Costanzas." 106 00:05:19,547 --> 00:05:22,266 No. No, forget it. I don't want it. Let's just get rid of it. 107 00:05:22,427 --> 00:05:24,338 Maybe your father would be interested in that. 108 00:05:24,507 --> 00:05:27,067 I doubt it. You know what he's doing now? 109 00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:29,616 He's putting a pool table in my old bedroom. 110 00:05:29,867 --> 00:05:34,065 Oh, yeah? Maybe I'll go out there and knock a few balls around with him. 111 00:05:34,227 --> 00:05:37,344 You know, show him a thing or two. 112 00:05:40,187 --> 00:05:42,906 So, what's your game? What do you like to play? 113 00:05:43,547 --> 00:05:45,458 - Eight ball. - No, nothing doing. 114 00:05:45,627 --> 00:05:48,664 Let's you and me play a game of straight pool. 115 00:05:48,987 --> 00:05:50,898 You like to gamble, Cosmo? 116 00:05:51,067 --> 00:05:54,855 Yeah, now and then. You know how it is. 117 00:05:55,027 --> 00:05:57,780 - Five dollars a game, huh? - I'll break. 118 00:05:57,947 --> 00:05:59,585 Okay. 119 00:06:37,947 --> 00:06:40,507 That's it. That's it. Seven. 120 00:06:47,867 --> 00:06:49,585 What's-? What's all this? 121 00:06:49,947 --> 00:06:51,938 Oh, I'm just moving in some more of my stuff. 122 00:06:52,107 --> 00:06:54,302 More of her stuff. 123 00:06:55,747 --> 00:06:57,465 Oh, I put up my doll collection. 124 00:06:59,387 --> 00:07:01,378 Oh, my God. 125 00:07:01,547 --> 00:07:04,778 - What is that? - What? What is it? 126 00:07:05,587 --> 00:07:07,305 This doll looks like my mother. 127 00:07:08,147 --> 00:07:10,741 - George, it's a doll. - I know it's a doll. 128 00:07:10,907 --> 00:07:12,977 But it looks like my mother. 129 00:07:13,147 --> 00:07:15,707 Oh, get out of here. 130 00:07:20,347 --> 00:07:22,338 - Seven, low. - What's going on in here? 131 00:07:23,987 --> 00:07:28,105 Are you two still playing? You've been up here three hours. 132 00:07:28,267 --> 00:07:30,986 - We haven't finished the first game. - First game? 133 00:07:31,147 --> 00:07:34,378 Well, we're still learning the subtleties of the table. 134 00:07:34,547 --> 00:07:36,902 He knows the Maestro. He could have the picture. 135 00:07:37,067 --> 00:07:40,264 Oh, forget about it. It's not your cousin. 136 00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:42,099 You don't know that! 137 00:07:43,627 --> 00:07:46,903 - We gonna go see him, huh? - As soon as the game is over. 138 00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:50,582 - Oh, boy. - Eleven, the corner pocket. 139 00:07:55,547 --> 00:07:57,299 What is this thing doing here? 140 00:07:57,467 --> 00:08:01,142 Oh, I used to love to sleep with my dolls when I was a little girl. 141 00:08:01,307 --> 00:08:03,377 I'm sorry, I can't do this. 142 00:08:03,547 --> 00:08:06,107 - Why? - I feel like I'm in bed with my mother. 143 00:08:06,267 --> 00:08:08,019 Stop it. 144 00:08:17,507 --> 00:08:20,817 Hey, Elaine, you have to buy this new electric toothbrush I just got. 145 00:08:20,987 --> 00:08:22,420 - The Oro-Dent. - Oh, yeah? 146 00:08:22,587 --> 00:08:25,579 Every time you use it, you feel like you just came from the dentist. 147 00:08:25,747 --> 00:08:26,736 That's dynamite. 148 00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:29,375 Wanna come see me on The Char/es Grodin Show tomorrow? 149 00:08:29,547 --> 00:08:32,015 - Who else is on the show? - One of the Three Tenors. 150 00:08:32,187 --> 00:08:36,578 - The Three Tenors? Which one? - It's not Pavarotti, it's not Domingo- 151 00:08:36,747 --> 00:08:38,499 - The other guy? - Yeah, the other guy. 152 00:08:39,267 --> 00:08:42,703 My God, I can't believe the other guy is gonna be on the show. 153 00:08:42,867 --> 00:08:45,097 - Why? - I ruined this autographed picture... 154 00:08:45,267 --> 00:08:47,940 ...of him that belonged to the Maestro. You think I could go? 155 00:08:48,107 --> 00:08:50,063 - I could get his autograph? - Why not? 156 00:08:51,347 --> 00:08:53,622 The other guy. 157 00:08:56,427 --> 00:08:58,657 Hey, you look awful. 158 00:08:58,827 --> 00:09:00,818 I'm on no sleep, bro. 159 00:09:00,987 --> 00:09:04,980 - Problem in the bedroom? - Susan has this doll collection. 160 00:09:05,147 --> 00:09:08,184 One of the dolls looks exactly like my mother. 161 00:09:09,427 --> 00:09:12,100 She likes to sleep with it. 162 00:09:12,787 --> 00:09:15,381 You were in bed with your mother last night? 163 00:09:15,907 --> 00:09:17,465 It felt like it. 164 00:09:18,587 --> 00:09:20,464 I tell you, this doll is pretty spooky. 165 00:09:21,307 --> 00:09:23,343 It's really freaking me out, man. 166 00:09:24,187 --> 00:09:27,065 And now I gotta go back out there and pick up this doormat. 167 00:09:27,227 --> 00:09:29,787 - I thought you didn't want the doormat. - I don't. 168 00:09:29,947 --> 00:09:32,381 Susan wants to have it out when Sally comes tomorrow. 169 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,426 - Sally? - Yeah. 170 00:09:34,587 --> 00:09:36,259 Wait a minute. She's coming to New York? 171 00:09:36,427 --> 00:09:38,941 - Yeah, Susan said you'd be excited. - Excited? 172 00:09:39,107 --> 00:09:41,302 I'm gonna kill her. She knew she was coming here... 173 00:09:41,467 --> 00:09:43,935 - ... and she made me carry that box? - Who is Sally? 174 00:09:44,107 --> 00:09:46,780 - Susan's college roommate. - It's her fault that bottle broke... 175 00:09:46,947 --> 00:09:49,017 ...that I was gonna give to Charles Grodin. 176 00:09:49,187 --> 00:09:51,223 Call her and tell her to bring you another one. 177 00:09:51,387 --> 00:09:54,026 - She'll be delighted to talk to you. - Oh, I will. Don't worry. 178 00:09:54,187 --> 00:09:56,223 I'll have her bring up a whole case of the stuff. 179 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:59,379 It'll be really heavy. Let's see if she likes sitting on a plane... 180 00:09:59,547 --> 00:10:03,017 - ... with a big box on her lap. - That sounds pretty juvenile. 181 00:10:03,307 --> 00:10:05,582 Hey, a dinosaur! 182 00:10:07,187 --> 00:10:09,018 His name was Carlo Costanza. 183 00:10:09,187 --> 00:10:10,984 We played together every day until I was 4. 184 00:10:11,147 --> 00:10:13,456 If I could look at your photos, maybe I can recognize him. 185 00:10:13,787 --> 00:10:16,347 Unfortunately, those photographs are at home. 186 00:10:16,507 --> 00:10:19,658 If you bring them by, maybe we could interest you in a game of pool. 187 00:10:20,027 --> 00:10:21,824 Frank here, he's got his own billiard room. 188 00:10:21,987 --> 00:10:25,377 Yes, it's- It's- What do you call it, Kramer? 189 00:10:25,547 --> 00:10:27,936 - It's a billiard room. - No. 190 00:10:28,107 --> 00:10:29,540 - The name? - The billiard- 191 00:10:29,707 --> 00:10:32,346 Not billiard- Not the billiards- It was- 192 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:33,860 Come on, already. Come on. 193 00:10:34,027 --> 00:10:35,745 - We call it the- - The place to be. 194 00:10:35,907 --> 00:10:37,704 The place to be! Yes, it's the place to be. 195 00:10:37,867 --> 00:10:39,585 Then I shall be there. 196 00:10:39,827 --> 00:10:44,139 Now, gentlemen, if you will excuse me, I must prepare for the symphony. 197 00:10:44,307 --> 00:10:46,502 - Oh, yeah. - Right. 198 00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:53,142 My pants. 199 00:10:53,307 --> 00:10:56,344 It's an old conductor's trick I learned from Leonard Bernstein. 200 00:10:56,507 --> 00:10:58,975 - Really? - You keep a perfect crease... 201 00:10:59,147 --> 00:11:01,536 ...by not sitting in them before the performance. 202 00:11:01,987 --> 00:11:03,625 That is... 203 00:11:03,987 --> 00:11:05,943 That's good thinking. 204 00:11:11,427 --> 00:11:12,701 You see? 205 00:11:13,067 --> 00:11:14,102 You see? 206 00:11:15,547 --> 00:11:17,219 It doesn't look exactly like her. 207 00:11:17,867 --> 00:11:20,301 Jerry, come on. If my mother keeps shrinking... 208 00:11:20,467 --> 00:11:22,981 ...this is exactly what she's gonna look like in 10 years. 209 00:11:23,147 --> 00:11:25,183 - Why don't you just get rid of it? - I tried. 210 00:11:25,347 --> 00:11:27,941 I almost threw it down the incinerator. But I couldn't do it. 211 00:11:28,107 --> 00:11:30,905 The guilt was too overwhelming. Susan's so attached to it. 212 00:11:31,067 --> 00:11:34,104 Well, where you going? Don't take your dolly and go home. 213 00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:36,419 Hi, Elaine. 214 00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:42,501 - Did you see that? - I'm just glad it's out of here. 215 00:11:43,467 --> 00:11:47,858 - What's that? - Oh, it's a poster of the Three Tenors. 216 00:11:48,827 --> 00:11:50,818 - Yeah. - It's Sa/y. 217 00:11:50,987 --> 00:11:52,659 Did you bring the barbecue sauce? 218 00:11:52,827 --> 00:11:55,057 - A who/e case. - Excellent. 219 00:11:55,427 --> 00:11:57,736 Did you buy that electric toothbrush I told you about? 220 00:11:57,907 --> 00:12:00,262 - No. - How come? I told you, it's fantastic. 221 00:12:00,427 --> 00:12:03,146 - Yeah, I like mine. - I've had yours. 222 00:12:03,307 --> 00:12:06,538 I'm telling you, this one is 10 times better. Don't you believe me? 223 00:12:07,387 --> 00:12:09,139 - I don't want it. - I don't understand. 224 00:12:09,307 --> 00:12:12,697 Why not get something that's better if I'm telling you it's better? 225 00:12:12,867 --> 00:12:15,586 And it's not a little better. It's much better. 226 00:12:16,547 --> 00:12:17,821 It doesn't matter to me. 227 00:12:19,867 --> 00:12:21,061 Come in. 228 00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:23,220 Well, here I am. 229 00:12:23,387 --> 00:12:25,776 - Oh, hi. Elaine, this is Sally. - Hi. 230 00:12:25,947 --> 00:12:28,984 - How was your flight? Uncomfortable? - The seat next to me was empty... 231 00:12:29,147 --> 00:12:31,342 ...so there was no problem at all. 232 00:12:32,867 --> 00:12:36,257 Wait. This isn't the sauce that I asked for. 233 00:12:36,427 --> 00:12:38,895 That's right. It's a special gourmet sauce. 234 00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:40,261 The pride of Memphis. 235 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:44,340 No, I wanted the one with the guy on it that looks like Charles Grodin. 236 00:12:44,507 --> 00:12:47,021 This is much better. And frankly, in Memphis... 237 00:12:47,187 --> 00:12:50,338 ...we think that other sauce is kind of a joke. 238 00:12:50,507 --> 00:12:53,067 I know it's a joke. It's supposed to be a joke. 239 00:12:53,227 --> 00:12:55,900 Now I'm going on The Char/es Grodin Show with nothing. 240 00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,183 - Nothing! - You could just do your material. 241 00:12:58,347 --> 00:13:01,419 - I don't have any material! - He's got nothing! 242 00:13:08,987 --> 00:13:12,662 Georgie, don't eat with your hands. 243 00:13:14,667 --> 00:13:17,465 Why do you eat so fast? You can't even taste it! 244 00:13:17,627 --> 00:13:19,822 Don't tell me how to eat. 245 00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:25,502 Sti/ wearing that shirt? You've had it for five years a/ready. 246 00:13:25,667 --> 00:13:27,976 Why don't you buy a new shirt? 247 00:13:28,507 --> 00:13:30,862 Because I like this one. 248 00:13:33,787 --> 00:13:35,425 Come on, let's go. 249 00:13:35,587 --> 00:13:37,225 Let's go. 250 00:13:37,787 --> 00:13:39,300 Oh, hi, Deena. 251 00:13:46,707 --> 00:13:48,982 That man should really be in a sanitarium. 252 00:13:50,107 --> 00:13:52,177 Oh, this is remarkable. I'm lounging... 253 00:13:52,347 --> 00:13:54,417 ...and yet my pants remain perfectly creased. 254 00:13:54,587 --> 00:13:57,659 It's him. It's Carlo Costanza. 255 00:13:57,827 --> 00:14:00,625 - Come on. Are you sure? - I'd know him anywhere. 256 00:14:00,787 --> 00:14:03,620 I've seen that man in Tuscany. Eccentric fellow. 257 00:14:03,787 --> 00:14:06,779 Reputation of being kind of a village idiot. 258 00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:08,266 I still say we're related. 259 00:14:08,427 --> 00:14:11,100 Oh, I love this piece. 260 00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:12,780 Come on, Frank, it's your shot. 261 00:14:12,947 --> 00:14:15,063 - I can't make anything. - Because you don't know... 262 00:14:15,227 --> 00:14:17,377 - ... how to follow through correct. - Follow through? 263 00:14:17,547 --> 00:14:19,742 Here, let me show you. Take hold of your stick. 264 00:14:19,907 --> 00:14:24,537 - Yeah, I got it. - Get down. Bring it back slowly. 265 00:14:25,947 --> 00:14:28,825 It's a little unnatural, but I think I'm getting the hang of it. 266 00:14:29,107 --> 00:14:31,143 Oh, my God. 267 00:14:32,147 --> 00:14:35,264 I'm such an idiot. I was gonna do this whole bit on that bottle. 268 00:14:35,427 --> 00:14:39,056 - Now I got nothing to talk about. - Have you ever considered writing... 269 00:14:39,227 --> 00:14:40,785 ...new material? 270 00:14:41,307 --> 00:14:44,538 Maybe if I didn't have so many people in my apartment all the time... 271 00:14:44,707 --> 00:14:46,265 ...I'd be able to get some work done. 272 00:14:46,627 --> 00:14:50,825 - Me? Are you talking about me? - No, you're never here. 273 00:14:52,667 --> 00:14:55,864 - That doll was really freaky, wasn't it? - Yeah, really. 274 00:14:56,027 --> 00:14:58,177 Hey, maybe I could talk about that on the show. 275 00:14:58,587 --> 00:15:00,339 - What? - Show the doll. Show a picture... 276 00:15:00,507 --> 00:15:04,295 ...of George's mother. It's pretty funny. I'm gonna call him. 277 00:15:06,867 --> 00:15:08,744 - Hello? - Hello, Susan, it's Jerry. 278 00:15:08,907 --> 00:15:10,181 Hi, Jerry, it's Sally. 279 00:15:11,147 --> 00:15:12,421 Is George there? 280 00:15:12,587 --> 00:15:14,737 - No, but he should be home soon. - This is important. 281 00:15:14,907 --> 00:15:17,865 Tell him to meet me at the TV studio with a picture of his mother... 282 00:15:18,027 --> 00:15:21,144 - ... and that doll that looks like her. - Is this for your comedy routine? 283 00:15:21,307 --> 00:15:24,185 - Yes. - Don't worry, I'm on the case. 284 00:15:29,147 --> 00:15:32,059 I think I'll get some air. 285 00:15:32,227 --> 00:15:33,501 Yeah. 286 00:15:36,067 --> 00:15:37,978 This is no good. 287 00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:40,420 Hey, the baton. 288 00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:46,976 Yeah, I've got a hunch, fat man, I can't miss. Thirteen, in the side. 289 00:15:47,627 --> 00:15:48,821 Giddyup. 290 00:15:48,987 --> 00:15:50,818 Six, in the corner. 291 00:15:52,787 --> 00:15:54,345 This table's mine. 292 00:16:01,907 --> 00:16:03,022 You know where it's going. 293 00:16:10,067 --> 00:16:11,216 - Hey. - Hey. 294 00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:13,218 - Is George here? - Not yet. 295 00:16:13,387 --> 00:16:14,900 The other guy. 296 00:16:16,587 --> 00:16:18,179 It's... 297 00:16:19,507 --> 00:16:22,419 ...you. It's really you. 298 00:16:23,907 --> 00:16:26,819 I'm such a huge fan of yours. 299 00:16:27,307 --> 00:16:29,582 Would you mind signing this poster for me? 300 00:16:29,747 --> 00:16:32,307 - My pleasure. - Oh, thank you so much. 301 00:16:32,467 --> 00:16:34,105 Here you go. 302 00:16:35,187 --> 00:16:40,056 Thank you so much, Mr. Camaro. 303 00:16:41,827 --> 00:16:43,943 Mr. Casea. 304 00:16:45,147 --> 00:16:46,626 Well, whatever. 305 00:16:47,187 --> 00:16:48,666 I'm gonna take this to the Maestro. 306 00:16:48,827 --> 00:16:50,897 He's playing at the Queens Convalescent Center. 307 00:16:51,067 --> 00:16:54,662 Yeah, that's a hell of a gig. Hey, look, I got something for you. 308 00:16:54,827 --> 00:16:55,942 The Oro-Dent. 309 00:16:58,107 --> 00:16:59,142 Thank you. 310 00:17:01,027 --> 00:17:03,985 What-? Why does a toothbrush come in such a big box? 311 00:17:04,147 --> 00:17:06,741 Well, it's a delicate mechanism, it needs a lot of packing. 312 00:17:06,907 --> 00:17:08,738 How am I supposed to carry this thing? 313 00:17:12,507 --> 00:17:15,783 - What are you doing? - Well, I wanna sit down. 314 00:17:16,107 --> 00:17:18,541 - So? - It's a trick I just learned from Kramer. 315 00:17:18,707 --> 00:17:20,982 Keeps a crease in the pants. 316 00:17:33,907 --> 00:17:38,139 Madam, you have been an extremely gracious hostess. 317 00:17:39,867 --> 00:17:41,459 Thank you, Maestro. 318 00:17:41,747 --> 00:17:44,739 - Here, take a look at this. - Yeah, what is it? 319 00:17:44,907 --> 00:17:47,467 It's Carlo. I found him. 320 00:17:47,627 --> 00:17:50,266 You've been cooped up in this room too long. 321 00:17:50,427 --> 00:17:53,703 You never support me! Let's see what George says about this. 322 00:17:53,867 --> 00:17:55,585 Where are my pants? 323 00:17:57,707 --> 00:17:59,504 Oh, beautiful. 324 00:18:03,827 --> 00:18:06,216 - Hey there, Mr. Hairy Legs. - Where's George? 325 00:18:06,387 --> 00:18:09,459 Don't worry, I brought your doll. 326 00:18:10,747 --> 00:18:12,738 No, that's the wrong doll. 327 00:18:12,907 --> 00:18:16,217 Jerry, I saw the doll you were talking about. Not funny. 328 00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:19,823 This doll is much funnier. Look, it has a bow tie and a cute little hat. 329 00:18:19,987 --> 00:18:21,739 I think it's a riot. 330 00:18:22,627 --> 00:18:24,140 This is a nightmare. 331 00:18:24,827 --> 00:18:28,183 Well, I'll be watching. Don't screw up. 332 00:18:31,147 --> 00:18:32,819 Too much sauce. 333 00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:39,656 - My pants! - Mr. Seinfeld, you're on. 334 00:19:09,187 --> 00:19:11,655 Elaine. What a surprise. 335 00:19:11,827 --> 00:19:15,945 I know you're very busy, but I just wanted to come by and give you this. 336 00:19:16,107 --> 00:19:19,304 Oh, Oro-Dent, that electric toothbrush. I've heard so much about it. 337 00:19:19,467 --> 00:19:22,743 No, no, no. Not the toothbrush. This. 338 00:19:32,147 --> 00:19:34,217 What a sweet gesture. An autographed poster... 339 00:19:34,387 --> 00:19:37,220 ...of my favorite tenor with those two other guys. 340 00:19:37,947 --> 00:19:41,144 Oh, Elaine, this is magnifico. 341 00:19:41,467 --> 00:19:43,935 I just felt so bad about what happened in Tuscany- 342 00:19:44,107 --> 00:19:46,223 Maestro, you're on. 343 00:19:46,907 --> 00:19:49,740 Elaine, wait for me after the concert. 344 00:19:49,907 --> 00:19:53,058 - We'll celebrate. - Oh, okay. 345 00:20:28,787 --> 00:20:31,699 I wanna know why you took my doll out of the house. 346 00:20:31,867 --> 00:20:33,937 I just wanted a second opinion. 347 00:20:39,227 --> 00:20:41,946 Take a look at this. Does that look like my flesh and blood? 348 00:20:42,107 --> 00:20:45,144 - Of course, your mother- - Oh, stop bothering everybody... 349 00:20:45,307 --> 00:20:47,696 ...with that picture. It's ridicu/ous. 350 00:20:47,867 --> 00:20:52,179 Ridiculous? I'll show you ridiculous! Come here! 351 00:20:52,347 --> 00:20:54,736 No, Mr. Costanza- No! 352 00:20:55,507 --> 00:20:56,656 There. 353 00:20:56,827 --> 00:20:59,660 Now what have you got to say for yourself? 354 00:21:00,347 --> 00:21:01,939 I told you it looked like her. 355 00:21:15,867 --> 00:21:19,143 Carlo. It's me, Frank. 356 00:21:27,067 --> 00:21:30,184 I'm your cousin, Frank. Aren't you Carlo? 357 00:21:30,347 --> 00:21:32,941 Carlo? No. 358 00:21:36,107 --> 00:21:37,825 What do you know? 359 00:21:38,227 --> 00:21:41,219 All right. I guess I was wrong.