1 00:00:02,567 --> 00:00:04,603 If wedding invitations were left up to men... 2 00:00:04,767 --> 00:00:07,440 ...we'd just drive around sticking fliers in windshields. 3 00:00:08,847 --> 00:00:09,996 Not even typed up either. 4 00:00:10,167 --> 00:00:12,681 Just magic markers, xeroxed, you know: 5 00:00:12,847 --> 00:00:14,565 "Party." 6 00:00:16,847 --> 00:00:19,042 What's needed is a divorce announcement. 7 00:00:19,207 --> 00:00:21,926 "Mr. And Mrs. Fred Johnson request the honour of your presence... 8 00:00:22,087 --> 00:00:27,639 ...at the returning of their daughter back to Mr. And Mrs. Fred Johnson." 9 00:00:34,007 --> 00:00:35,759 - Hi. - Hi, can I help you? 10 00:00:35,927 --> 00:00:39,442 - Yes, we'd like wedding invitations. - Oh, well, congratulations. 11 00:00:39,607 --> 00:00:40,881 - Thank you. - Yeah, thank you. 12 00:00:41,047 --> 00:00:42,241 - When's the wedding? - June. 13 00:00:42,407 --> 00:00:47,037 - Late June. - We have quite a few to pick from. 14 00:00:47,207 --> 00:00:50,563 They're arranged in order of price. The most expensive are in the front. 15 00:00:56,727 --> 00:00:58,319 I don't know, what about this one? 16 00:00:59,247 --> 00:01:02,796 To tell you the truth, they haven't made those for a number of years. 17 00:01:02,967 --> 00:01:05,322 I might have some boxes in our warehouse in New Jersey. 18 00:01:05,487 --> 00:01:08,126 - I'd have to check. - Oh, no. George, that's so ugly. 19 00:01:08,287 --> 00:01:09,640 We don't want that. 20 00:01:09,807 --> 00:01:12,879 What's the difference? You just read it and mail it right back. 21 00:01:13,047 --> 00:01:15,242 - These ones. - Why don't they make them anymore? 22 00:01:15,407 --> 00:01:19,195 Well, for one thing, the glue isn't very adhesive. 23 00:01:19,367 --> 00:01:21,517 It takes a lot of moisture to make them stick. 24 00:01:21,807 --> 00:01:24,082 So we pick up some Elmer's. 25 00:01:27,007 --> 00:01:28,520 All right. 26 00:01:28,727 --> 00:01:30,604 Do you see what I do for you? 27 00:01:32,487 --> 00:01:34,125 - Hey, Kramer. - Hey, George. 28 00:01:34,847 --> 00:01:37,361 - Lilly. - No, Susan. 29 00:01:37,527 --> 00:01:40,564 - No, no, it's Lilly. - I think I know my own name. 30 00:01:40,727 --> 00:01:41,955 It's Susan. 31 00:01:42,767 --> 00:01:45,804 Well, you look like a Lilly. 32 00:01:49,687 --> 00:01:51,200 It's coming, Jerry, it's coming. 33 00:01:51,367 --> 00:01:54,006 - What's coming? - The day. 34 00:01:54,167 --> 00:01:55,998 The day. 35 00:01:56,167 --> 00:01:58,806 We ordered the wedding invitations today. 36 00:01:58,967 --> 00:02:01,606 Nothing can stop it now, nothing. 37 00:02:02,047 --> 00:02:04,402 It's here. It's happening. 38 00:02:04,567 --> 00:02:07,798 Can I do this? I can't do this. Look at me. Look at me, I can't do this. 39 00:02:07,967 --> 00:02:09,923 I can't do it. Help me, Jerry, help me. 40 00:02:10,087 --> 00:02:12,521 Just break it off with her. Tell her it's over. 41 00:02:13,207 --> 00:02:14,481 I can't. 42 00:02:14,647 --> 00:02:16,399 - Why not? - Because I can't face that scene. 43 00:02:16,567 --> 00:02:18,478 You know what kind of a scene that would be? 44 00:02:18,647 --> 00:02:21,605 I'd rather be unhappy for the rest of my life than to go through that. 45 00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:25,521 I can't. I've tried to psych myself up a million times. I can't go through that. 46 00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:27,598 All right, take it easy. Just take it easy. 47 00:02:29,767 --> 00:02:32,042 - What about a letter? - A letter? 48 00:02:32,207 --> 00:02:34,163 I write a letter and then I go to China. 49 00:02:35,607 --> 00:02:39,122 I disappear in a sea of people for, like, six months, a year. 50 00:02:39,287 --> 00:02:41,960 You know, just while things simmer down. 51 00:02:42,447 --> 00:02:45,519 "Dear Susan, I'm sorry. 52 00:02:45,767 --> 00:02:47,678 I made a terrible mistake. 53 00:02:47,847 --> 00:02:51,123 I'm really, really sorry." 54 00:02:52,087 --> 00:02:54,965 - That's it? - What, too short? 55 00:02:55,127 --> 00:02:57,243 - Seems a little short, yeah. - A little short. 56 00:02:57,527 --> 00:02:59,597 You can't go to China. What about your job? 57 00:02:59,767 --> 00:03:02,122 Right. My job. 58 00:03:02,287 --> 00:03:04,596 So write a letter and move to Staten Island. 59 00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:07,759 It's easier to blend into a sea of people in Staten Island than China. 60 00:03:08,607 --> 00:03:11,280 Yeah, yeah. Staten Island. 61 00:03:11,687 --> 00:03:14,963 - How do I get the rest of my clothes? - You come back for your clothes. 62 00:03:15,127 --> 00:03:18,005 - I'm not going back in there. - So forget about your clothes. 63 00:03:18,487 --> 00:03:21,763 Well, I'm not starting up a whole new wardrobe now! 64 00:03:22,927 --> 00:03:26,078 Freedom and no clothes is a lot better than no freedom with clothes. 65 00:03:26,567 --> 00:03:28,558 If she would just take a plane somewhere. 66 00:03:28,727 --> 00:03:30,001 And what, hope for a crash? 67 00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:32,242 It happens. 68 00:03:32,407 --> 00:03:34,762 Do you know the odds on a crash? It's a million to one. 69 00:03:35,287 --> 00:03:39,041 It's something. It's hope. 70 00:03:40,407 --> 00:03:41,726 - Hey. Hey! - Hey. 71 00:03:41,887 --> 00:03:43,764 Georgie, you know what I just realized? 72 00:03:44,087 --> 00:03:47,204 The wedding is like a month away. 73 00:03:47,767 --> 00:03:49,200 - Elaine. - What? 74 00:03:49,367 --> 00:03:52,325 Oh, by the way, what am I gonna get to be in the wedding party? 75 00:03:53,047 --> 00:03:55,117 - What do you mean? - Jerry's gonna be best man... 76 00:03:55,287 --> 00:03:57,357 ...and Kramer's the usher. What am I gonna be? 77 00:03:57,607 --> 00:03:59,120 I don't think you're anything. 78 00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:03,599 Well, I have to be something. I'm a close friend. 79 00:04:03,967 --> 00:04:06,800 - What about being a bridesmaid? - Well, those are Susan's friends. 80 00:04:08,207 --> 00:04:12,405 - Then how about being an usher? - All right, I'll ask Susan about it later. 81 00:04:12,567 --> 00:04:15,923 You don't ask. You tell. 82 00:04:19,007 --> 00:04:20,998 What about the letter? Should I think about it? 83 00:04:21,167 --> 00:04:23,397 Elaine, if a guy wanted to end a relationship... 84 00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:24,636 ...what could he do? 85 00:04:25,927 --> 00:04:27,599 Start smoking. 86 00:04:28,207 --> 00:04:29,959 Smoking. 87 00:04:30,127 --> 00:04:32,402 - Does she hate cigarettes? - Yes, she hates cigarettes. 88 00:04:32,967 --> 00:04:34,639 But you don't smoke. 89 00:04:35,247 --> 00:04:37,124 No. 90 00:04:39,127 --> 00:04:41,846 You know, I think I'm getting depressed about George's wedding. 91 00:04:42,007 --> 00:04:44,567 - Really? - Yeah, once he gets married, that's it. 92 00:04:44,727 --> 00:04:47,195 She'll probably get pregnant. They'll move to Westchester. 93 00:04:47,367 --> 00:04:50,165 - I'll never see him again. - Yeah, you're probably right. 94 00:04:50,327 --> 00:04:53,000 - Then it'll be just me, you and Kramer. - No, not me, pal. 95 00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:55,635 I can't keep this up much longer. I'm sick of being single. 96 00:04:55,807 --> 00:04:58,275 - I'm getting out. - So it's just gonna be me and Kramer? 97 00:04:58,447 --> 00:05:00,563 Yeah, just you and Kramer. 98 00:05:00,727 --> 00:05:02,126 See you. 99 00:05:03,047 --> 00:05:04,958 Me and Kramer. 100 00:05:06,087 --> 00:05:08,362 Hey, buddy. 101 00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:11,998 Hey, I thought of a great invention for driving. 102 00:05:12,167 --> 00:05:15,125 A periscope in a car, so you can see traffic. 103 00:05:15,287 --> 00:05:16,561 How are you gonna drive... 104 00:05:16,727 --> 00:05:19,036 ...while you're looking through a periscope? 105 00:05:19,207 --> 00:05:20,845 Besides which, it's not a submarine. 106 00:05:21,007 --> 00:05:22,963 There's no room for a periscope on a car. 107 00:05:23,127 --> 00:05:25,846 - Oh, you make a higher roof. - They're not making higher roofs. 108 00:05:26,127 --> 00:05:27,765 Well, why can't you make a higher roof? 109 00:05:28,487 --> 00:05:30,318 Because it's a stupid idea. 110 00:05:30,487 --> 00:05:33,638 No one's gonna go for it. Don't you understand? It's stupid! 111 00:05:35,447 --> 00:05:37,005 Stupid. It's stupid. 112 00:05:38,487 --> 00:05:39,840 Hey, hey, hey, look out! 113 00:05:40,887 --> 00:05:42,923 Oh, my God. Are you okay? 114 00:05:43,087 --> 00:05:45,681 Yeah, thanks. 115 00:05:45,847 --> 00:05:47,724 Oh, my God. You saved my life. 116 00:05:47,887 --> 00:05:50,606 Shouldn't there be some kind of reward for that? 117 00:05:51,647 --> 00:05:53,399 You should be careful crossing the street. 118 00:05:53,567 --> 00:05:55,683 Otherwise you could die, if that bothers you. 119 00:05:56,487 --> 00:05:59,604 - Well, yeah... - See? To me, this is a waste. 120 00:06:00,007 --> 00:06:01,838 - What? - The shirt under your sweater. 121 00:06:02,007 --> 00:06:03,759 It sits in a drawer for three weeks... 122 00:06:03,927 --> 00:06:07,078 ...and when it finally comes out, it only sticks up out of your collar. 123 00:06:07,447 --> 00:06:09,438 - I'm Jerry Seinfeld. - Jeannie Steinman. 124 00:06:09,847 --> 00:06:13,362 - Same initials. How do you like that? - I like it. 125 00:06:14,487 --> 00:06:17,797 Listen, I was talking to Elaine today, and she said... 126 00:06:17,967 --> 00:06:20,527 ...that she would really like to be an usher at the wedding. 127 00:06:21,367 --> 00:06:23,198 No, out of the question. 128 00:06:23,367 --> 00:06:25,358 I don't want any women ushers at my wedding. 129 00:06:25,527 --> 00:06:28,758 And while we're on the subject, Kramer's not an usher either. 130 00:06:28,927 --> 00:06:31,395 - Why not? - He doesn't even know my name. 131 00:06:31,887 --> 00:06:34,401 - That was an honest mistake. - No, he's too weird. 132 00:06:34,567 --> 00:06:37,001 He'd fall or something. He'd ruin the whole ceremony. 133 00:06:38,487 --> 00:06:40,557 Yeah, you're probably right. 134 00:06:43,967 --> 00:06:45,639 What are you doing? 135 00:06:48,207 --> 00:06:49,686 Since when do you smoke? 136 00:06:51,287 --> 00:06:53,198 I've always smoked. 137 00:06:53,887 --> 00:06:58,039 - I've never seen you smoke. - Oh, yeah, well, big smoker. 138 00:06:58,327 --> 00:07:01,000 I gave it up for a while, but it was too tough. 139 00:07:01,167 --> 00:07:04,682 You know, I don't got the willpower. 140 00:07:04,927 --> 00:07:09,398 - Oh, I don't like this one bit. - Well, I can't stop now. 141 00:07:11,887 --> 00:07:14,606 I'm addicted. They've gotten a hold on me. 142 00:07:15,127 --> 00:07:16,879 Well, you are gonna have to quit. 143 00:07:22,847 --> 00:07:24,405 - Menus? - No, I know what I want. 144 00:07:24,567 --> 00:07:25,795 - The usual? - Yeah. 145 00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:28,401 - And for you? - A bowl of Cheerios, not too much milk. 146 00:07:28,567 --> 00:07:30,159 Okay, two bowls of Cheerios. 147 00:07:33,527 --> 00:07:34,880 - You too? - Yeah. 148 00:07:37,247 --> 00:07:39,920 Hey, did you hear the bank on the corner... 149 00:07:40,087 --> 00:07:43,762 ...is offering $100 if you go in there and they don't greet you with a "hello." 150 00:07:44,247 --> 00:07:45,646 Oh, really? That's nice. 151 00:07:46,847 --> 00:07:49,315 - Come on. What's with you? - I think I'm in love. 152 00:07:50,367 --> 00:07:52,244 Oh, come on. 153 00:07:52,527 --> 00:07:54,882 No, it's true. This woman saved my life. 154 00:07:55,047 --> 00:07:57,277 I was crossing the street. I was almost hit by a car. 155 00:07:57,447 --> 00:07:58,641 And then we talked... 156 00:07:58,807 --> 00:08:01,162 ...and the whole thing just seemed like a dream. 157 00:08:01,327 --> 00:08:04,558 If a guy saved your life, you'd be in love with him too. 158 00:08:05,447 --> 00:08:07,438 No, this woman is different. She's incredible. 159 00:08:07,927 --> 00:08:10,839 She's just like me. She talks like me. She acts like me. 160 00:08:11,007 --> 00:08:14,556 She ordered cereal in a restaurant. We even have the same initials. 161 00:08:15,767 --> 00:08:18,076 - Wait, I just realized what's going on. - What? 162 00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:20,920 Now I know what I've been looking for all these years. 163 00:08:21,087 --> 00:08:22,679 Myself. 164 00:08:25,167 --> 00:08:28,318 I've been waiting for me to come along. 165 00:08:28,487 --> 00:08:31,445 And now I've swept myself off my feet. 166 00:08:33,287 --> 00:08:36,563 Will you stop it, man? You're freaking me out. 167 00:08:36,727 --> 00:08:38,445 Jeez. 168 00:08:43,207 --> 00:08:44,401 - Hey. - Hey. 169 00:08:44,727 --> 00:08:47,719 - Wait a second, you didn't say "hello." - Yes, I did. 170 00:08:47,887 --> 00:08:50,162 No. No, you didn't. Hundred dollars. I get $100. 171 00:08:50,327 --> 00:08:52,682 - No, no, I said "hello." - No, no, you said "hey." 172 00:08:52,847 --> 00:08:54,997 Well, "hey" is "hello." Same thing. 173 00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:58,239 The ad said the bank will pay $100 if you're not greeted with a "hello." 174 00:08:58,407 --> 00:09:00,557 You're taking that much too literally. 175 00:09:00,727 --> 00:09:02,683 Now, sir, do you have any business to transact? 176 00:09:02,847 --> 00:09:05,156 - I wanna speak with the manager. - He's not here. 177 00:09:05,647 --> 00:09:07,285 Then I'll be back. 178 00:09:08,247 --> 00:09:10,158 - So I'm not gonna be an usher? - No. 179 00:09:10,487 --> 00:09:11,920 So I'm nothing? 180 00:09:12,087 --> 00:09:16,046 Jerry is best man, Kramer is an usher, and I am nothing? 181 00:09:16,367 --> 00:09:18,961 - Kramer's not an usher anymore. - What are you talking about? 182 00:09:19,127 --> 00:09:20,879 - You've been demoted. - Why? 183 00:09:21,047 --> 00:09:23,038 Because you called her by the wrong name. 184 00:09:23,767 --> 00:09:26,076 But she really looks like a Lilly. 185 00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:30,642 Jerry. Hey, Jerry, Susan says I can't be an usher at the wedding. 186 00:09:30,807 --> 00:09:32,240 Yeah, me neither. 187 00:09:32,407 --> 00:09:34,557 George, I wanna bring a date to the wedding. 188 00:09:34,727 --> 00:09:36,797 - Who? - I just met her. She's incredible. 189 00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:39,765 Oh, this is great! 190 00:09:39,927 --> 00:09:44,045 Now I'm gonna be stuck at the singles' table with all the losers? 191 00:09:45,287 --> 00:09:47,801 - You can go with Kramer. - No, no, no. 192 00:09:47,967 --> 00:09:50,401 Weddings are a great place to meet chicks. 193 00:09:50,567 --> 00:09:52,876 I have to be unfettered. 194 00:09:53,847 --> 00:09:55,803 Do you see what this is turning into? 195 00:09:55,967 --> 00:09:58,765 Do I need this? I have got to get out of this thing. 196 00:09:58,927 --> 00:10:01,964 - Did you try the cigarettes? - Yeah, they made me sick. 197 00:10:02,127 --> 00:10:05,199 All right, all right. Let's get down here. 198 00:10:06,847 --> 00:10:08,565 You really wanna get out of this thing? 199 00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:12,559 - Yeah. - All right. I got two words for you: 200 00:10:12,727 --> 00:10:14,638 Prenup. 201 00:10:15,247 --> 00:10:16,566 Prenup, what does that mean? 202 00:10:16,727 --> 00:10:21,005 - Ask her to sign a prenup. - What does that do? 203 00:10:21,167 --> 00:10:23,283 Because most women, when asked to sign a prenup... 204 00:10:23,447 --> 00:10:25,961 ...are so offended, they back out of the marriage. 205 00:10:27,007 --> 00:10:28,565 They are? 206 00:10:29,167 --> 00:10:31,886 - Elaine? - I wouldn't sign one. 207 00:10:34,127 --> 00:10:37,358 Prenup, of course. 208 00:10:38,327 --> 00:10:41,046 - Kramer. - Get out of here. 209 00:10:45,687 --> 00:10:47,006 - Hi. - Hi. 210 00:10:47,167 --> 00:10:49,806 Hey, I've been going over the list. Wanna invite The Drake? 211 00:10:49,967 --> 00:10:52,356 Oh, got to invite The Drake. 212 00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:53,960 Listen. 213 00:10:54,367 --> 00:10:56,198 There's something that's been on my mind... 214 00:10:56,367 --> 00:11:00,155 ...and we haven't really talked about it and it's kind of important to me. 215 00:11:00,647 --> 00:11:01,841 What is it? 216 00:11:02,007 --> 00:11:04,680 Well, I've put a lot of thought into this... 217 00:11:04,847 --> 00:11:08,522 ...and I think that I would like you to sign a prenuptial agreement. 218 00:11:09,567 --> 00:11:11,842 - A prenup? - Yeah. 219 00:11:16,127 --> 00:11:17,924 What's so funny? 220 00:11:18,807 --> 00:11:22,004 You don't have any money. I make more money than you do. 221 00:11:25,967 --> 00:11:28,925 Yeah, give me the papers, I'll sign them. 222 00:11:30,927 --> 00:11:32,280 A prenup. 223 00:11:57,167 --> 00:11:58,964 Excuse me. 224 00:12:03,167 --> 00:12:04,805 Jerry. 225 00:12:06,007 --> 00:12:07,679 - Hey, Jeannie. - Hello. 226 00:12:07,847 --> 00:12:09,803 - Remember I told you about the bank? - Yeah. 227 00:12:09,967 --> 00:12:13,039 Well, I went in there and they said, "hey." 228 00:12:13,807 --> 00:12:15,559 "Hey" is the same as "hello." What do you think? 229 00:12:15,727 --> 00:12:17,558 Yeah, I think it's the same thing. 230 00:12:18,127 --> 00:12:20,687 Oh, big surprise. 231 00:12:27,087 --> 00:12:30,159 - Delivery from Melody Stationers. - Oh, those are the invitations. 232 00:12:30,327 --> 00:12:32,204 - Just sign here. - Yeah. 233 00:12:33,287 --> 00:12:34,720 Thank you. 234 00:12:35,047 --> 00:12:36,924 - See you later. - Oh, these are so cheap. 235 00:12:37,087 --> 00:12:39,203 Don't forget tomorrow. We're shopping for rings... 236 00:12:39,367 --> 00:12:43,076 ...so don't make any plans. And this time we're not skimping. 237 00:12:44,407 --> 00:12:45,886 - Hey. - Hey. 238 00:12:46,047 --> 00:12:47,924 - Jeannie left? - Yeah, she's coming to see... 239 00:12:48,087 --> 00:12:50,601 ...my act tonight. - Oh, yeah? Well, that's nice. 240 00:12:50,767 --> 00:12:53,361 I'm sure that's right up her alley. 241 00:12:53,527 --> 00:12:54,926 - What's with you? - Nothing. 242 00:12:55,087 --> 00:12:56,236 - Something on your mind? - No. 243 00:12:56,407 --> 00:12:57,635 - Looks like there is. - No. 244 00:12:57,807 --> 00:13:00,321 Come on, something's on your mind. Out with it. 245 00:13:00,527 --> 00:13:02,597 I don't like her! 246 00:13:02,887 --> 00:13:04,479 - You don't like her? - That's right. 247 00:13:04,647 --> 00:13:07,684 I don't like her. I never liked her from the get- go. 248 00:13:08,167 --> 00:13:10,635 - What's wrong with her? - Everything she thinks, you think. 249 00:13:10,807 --> 00:13:13,116 Everything you think, she thinks. No, I can't take it. 250 00:13:13,287 --> 00:13:16,518 I can't take it, Jerry. It's too much. It's too much. 251 00:13:16,687 --> 00:13:18,803 If you can't take her, maybe you can't take me. 252 00:13:19,087 --> 00:13:21,965 - So that's how it's gonna be? - That's how it's gonna be. 253 00:13:22,127 --> 00:13:25,005 Oh, God help us! 254 00:13:33,007 --> 00:13:34,486 Awful. 255 00:14:17,407 --> 00:14:19,762 - Can I help you? - Yeah. 256 00:14:21,087 --> 00:14:23,760 I was in here the other day, and I went up to that teller... 257 00:14:23,927 --> 00:14:25,360 ...and he didn't say "hello." 258 00:14:26,127 --> 00:14:28,960 Well, then you are entitled to $100. That's our policy. 259 00:14:29,127 --> 00:14:31,118 Yeah, but he wouldn't give me the money. 260 00:14:31,447 --> 00:14:33,199 Jim, can I see you for a second? 261 00:14:33,767 --> 00:14:37,680 - Yes, can you give me a minute? - Yeah. 262 00:14:37,847 --> 00:14:40,884 He'll be right over. 263 00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:53,035 What is this, oak? 264 00:14:55,087 --> 00:14:58,238 - I think it's pine. - Pine is good. 265 00:14:58,567 --> 00:15:00,558 Yeah, pine's okay. 266 00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:05,681 - You wanted to see me? - Yeah. 267 00:15:05,847 --> 00:15:08,680 Jim, the man here says he came in the other day... 268 00:15:08,847 --> 00:15:11,156 ...you didn't say "hello." - No, that's not true. 269 00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:14,239 I said "hey." You know, like a friendly greeting, "hey." 270 00:15:14,407 --> 00:15:17,046 - Yeah, but that's not "hello." - That's a tough one. 271 00:15:18,687 --> 00:15:20,518 Let me bring some other people in on this. 272 00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:24,885 Barbara, Jane, Mike, can I see you, please? 273 00:15:27,567 --> 00:15:29,046 - How you doing? - What's happening? 274 00:15:29,207 --> 00:15:30,686 What's up? 275 00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:35,157 Can you excuse us for just one minute? Just one minute. 276 00:15:36,007 --> 00:15:37,486 Thanks. 277 00:15:41,847 --> 00:15:43,519 How's it going? 278 00:15:44,767 --> 00:15:46,644 Thanks. Thanks, everybody. 279 00:15:48,567 --> 00:15:51,320 Sir, have a seat. 280 00:15:54,527 --> 00:15:58,315 Well, we've discussed this. Here's the feeling. 281 00:15:58,567 --> 00:16:01,206 You got a greeting. It starts with an H. How's 20 bucks sound? 282 00:16:01,367 --> 00:16:02,880 - I'll take it. - All right, sir. 283 00:16:19,647 --> 00:16:21,683 Will you marry me? 284 00:16:36,007 --> 00:16:39,079 I would like to propose a toast... Wait a second! 285 00:16:39,247 --> 00:16:41,681 George! George Costanza, come in here! 286 00:16:41,847 --> 00:16:43,485 - Georgie boy. - George, big news. 287 00:16:43,647 --> 00:16:45,603 - I'm getting married. - Married? What? 288 00:16:45,767 --> 00:16:49,476 September 21 st, first day of autumn. Leaves changing, beautiful colours. 289 00:16:49,647 --> 00:16:50,875 - All that crap. - You see? 290 00:16:51,047 --> 00:16:53,356 - I kept up my end of the pact. - Oh, good for you. 291 00:16:53,527 --> 00:16:55,358 - And look, champagne. - Hey. 292 00:16:55,527 --> 00:16:57,995 - To our future wives. - Oh, yeah. 293 00:16:58,167 --> 00:16:59,725 Yeah. 294 00:17:12,167 --> 00:17:14,886 This has been quite a night. I could sure use a cup of coffee. 295 00:17:15,047 --> 00:17:17,561 Hey, what's the deal with decaf? 296 00:17:17,727 --> 00:17:19,479 How do they get the caffeine out of there? 297 00:17:19,647 --> 00:17:22,480 - And then where does it go? - I don't know. 298 00:17:25,807 --> 00:17:27,365 That's a shame. 299 00:17:28,807 --> 00:17:31,116 - I'll just have a cup of coffee. - Bowl of corn flakes. 300 00:17:32,527 --> 00:17:34,404 More cereal? That's your third bowl today. 301 00:17:34,567 --> 00:17:38,037 - You had it for breakfast and lunch. - Hey. So, what's the deal with brunch? 302 00:17:38,207 --> 00:17:40,198 If it's a combination of breakfast and lunch... 303 00:17:40,367 --> 00:17:43,200 ...how come there's no "lupper," or no "linner"? 304 00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:49,646 Hey! 305 00:17:50,007 --> 00:17:52,567 Frank just called me. Congratulations. 306 00:17:52,727 --> 00:17:55,924 - Thanks. Thanks. - Look, I'm sorry about before. 307 00:17:56,087 --> 00:17:59,204 - I'm sure I'll learn to like her, Jerry. - Yeah, yeah. 308 00:17:59,367 --> 00:18:02,040 Come on, come on. What's the matter? 309 00:18:03,287 --> 00:18:05,357 I think I may have made a big mistake. 310 00:18:06,807 --> 00:18:09,275 - Oh, come on. - No, all of a sudden it hit me. 311 00:18:09,447 --> 00:18:10,926 I realized what the problem is. 312 00:18:11,087 --> 00:18:13,043 I can't be with someone like me. 313 00:18:13,207 --> 00:18:15,198 I hate myself! 314 00:18:15,567 --> 00:18:17,876 I need to be with someone the complete opposite of me. 315 00:18:18,047 --> 00:18:20,959 It's too much, Kramer. I can't take it! I can't take it! 316 00:18:22,407 --> 00:18:25,160 It's too bad you got engaged. 317 00:18:25,727 --> 00:18:27,604 Yeah, too bad. 318 00:18:29,087 --> 00:18:30,964 Hello? Oh, hey, George. 319 00:18:31,127 --> 00:18:34,039 What? Really? 320 00:18:34,207 --> 00:18:36,402 I'll call Elaine. We'll meet you down there. 321 00:18:36,567 --> 00:18:38,797 - What happened? - They took Susan to the hospital. 322 00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:42,642 - So she was just lying there? - Yeah. 323 00:18:42,807 --> 00:18:44,559 - I wonder what happened. - I don't know. 324 00:18:44,727 --> 00:18:46,797 There's the doctor. 325 00:18:47,887 --> 00:18:49,525 Excuse me, are you the husband? 326 00:18:50,207 --> 00:18:56,362 - Well, not yet. Fiancé. - Yes. Well, I'm sorry. 327 00:18:56,527 --> 00:18:58,165 She's gone. 328 00:19:00,847 --> 00:19:02,326 What's that? 329 00:19:04,087 --> 00:19:05,361 She expired. 330 00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:10,399 Are you sure? 331 00:19:12,047 --> 00:19:13,366 Yes, of course. 332 00:19:13,927 --> 00:19:16,122 So... 333 00:19:16,287 --> 00:19:17,515 ...she's dead? 334 00:19:19,927 --> 00:19:21,201 Yes. 335 00:19:26,007 --> 00:19:27,326 Let me ask you... 336 00:19:27,487 --> 00:19:32,925 ...had she been exposed to any kind of inexpensive glue? 337 00:19:35,567 --> 00:19:37,523 - Why? - We found traces... 338 00:19:37,687 --> 00:19:40,326 ...of a certain toxic adhesive... 339 00:19:40,487 --> 00:19:44,321 ...commonly found in very low-priced envelopes. 340 00:19:45,447 --> 00:19:48,041 Well, she was sending out our wedding invitations. 341 00:19:48,967 --> 00:19:51,401 That's probably what did it. 342 00:19:52,247 --> 00:19:54,966 We were expecting about 200 people. 343 00:19:57,367 --> 00:20:01,599 Well, thank you, doctor. 344 00:20:18,247 --> 00:20:20,124 She's... 345 00:20:21,047 --> 00:20:22,480 ...gone. 346 00:20:23,927 --> 00:20:25,440 Dead? 347 00:20:26,727 --> 00:20:31,482 I'm so sorry, George. 348 00:20:32,407 --> 00:20:34,284 Yeah, me too. 349 00:20:37,047 --> 00:20:38,196 Poor Lilly. 350 00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:40,198 - Susan. - Susan. 351 00:20:45,367 --> 00:20:47,835 - How did it happen? - Apparently the glue... 352 00:20:48,007 --> 00:20:51,124 ...in the wedding invitations was... 353 00:20:52,327 --> 00:20:53,965 ...toxic. 354 00:20:57,047 --> 00:20:58,719 Well, that's weird. 355 00:21:00,327 --> 00:21:02,204 So I guess... 356 00:21:02,847 --> 00:21:05,919 ...you're not getting married. - Yeah. 357 00:21:07,727 --> 00:21:09,160 But... 358 00:21:10,807 --> 00:21:14,595 - Yeah? - Well, now I'm engaged. 359 00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:16,201 Yeah? 360 00:21:16,567 --> 00:21:18,478 Well, I thought we'd both be getting married. 361 00:21:19,527 --> 00:21:21,995 Hey, what can I tell you? 362 00:21:22,287 --> 00:21:23,436 All right. 363 00:21:25,047 --> 00:21:26,958 Well, let's get some coffee. 364 00:21:28,167 --> 00:21:30,476 We had a pact! 365 00:21:37,807 --> 00:21:41,117 Yes, I'd like to speak with Marisa Tomei, please. 366 00:21:42,767 --> 00:21:46,760 Marisa, hi. It's George Costanza. 367 00:21:46,967 --> 00:21:51,358 I'm the short, funny, quirky bald man you met a little while ago. 368 00:21:51,527 --> 00:21:53,882 Yeah, I was just calling because I wanted you to know... 369 00:21:54,047 --> 00:21:57,198 ...that I'm not engaged anymore. 370 00:21:57,727 --> 00:22:00,002 Well, she died. 371 00:22:00,767 --> 00:22:03,884 Toxic glue from the wedding invitations. 372 00:22:04,567 --> 00:22:07,286 Well, we were expecting about 200 people. 373 00:22:07,647 --> 00:22:12,402 Yeah. Anyway, I've got the funeral tomorrow... 374 00:22:13,927 --> 00:22:16,395 ...but my weekend is pretty wide open... 375 00:22:17,207 --> 00:22:20,404 ...and, you know, I was wondering... Hello? 376 00:22:20,567 --> 00:22:22,159 Hello?