1 00:00:06,516 --> 00:00:08,347 Boy, l really miss the Bermuda Triangle. 2 00:00:08,516 --> 00:00:10,666 Guess there's not much action there these days. 3 00:00:10,836 --> 00:00:13,396 Oh, there's action. There's plenty of action. 4 00:00:13,556 --> 00:00:15,990 lt's that damn alien autopsy stealing the headlines. 5 00:00:16,156 --> 00:00:17,430 Yeah, tell me about it. 6 00:00:17,596 --> 00:00:20,793 See, what they gotta do is lose a plane or a Greenpeace boat. 7 00:00:20,956 --> 00:00:22,992 See, that would get the Triangle going again. 8 00:00:23,196 --> 00:00:26,154 What keeps the water there? l mean, why doesn't that disappear? 9 00:00:27,156 --> 00:00:29,795 Now, what would be the point of taking the water? 10 00:00:30,116 --> 00:00:31,947 lt's gorgeous water. 11 00:00:33,276 --> 00:00:34,595 Do we own Bermuda? 12 00:00:34,756 --> 00:00:36,906 No, it belongs to the British. 13 00:00:37,236 --> 00:00:39,067 Lucky Krauts. 14 00:00:40,756 --> 00:00:42,428 What do you think of that autopsy? 15 00:00:42,596 --> 00:00:44,951 -Oh, that's real. -l think so too. 16 00:00:50,636 --> 00:00:52,866 The doctor will be with you in a moment. 17 00:01:01,676 --> 00:01:03,268 ''Difficult''? 18 00:01:03,436 --> 00:01:06,269 Elaine, you shouldn't be reading that. 19 00:01:06,436 --> 00:01:09,348 Now, tell me about this rash of yours. 20 00:01:10,076 --> 00:01:11,794 Well, it's-- lt's.... 21 00:01:12,956 --> 00:01:16,153 You know, l notice that someone wrote in my chart... 22 00:01:16,316 --> 00:01:19,786 ...that l was difficult in January of '92. 23 00:01:19,956 --> 00:01:22,550 l have to tell you, l remember that appointment exactly. 24 00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:26,026 You see, this nurse had asked me to put a gown on... 25 00:01:26,196 --> 00:01:28,426 ...but it was a mole on my shoulder... 26 00:01:28,596 --> 00:01:30,985 ...and actually l had specifically worn a tank top... 27 00:01:31,156 --> 00:01:33,829 ...so that l wouldn't have to put a gown on. 28 00:01:34,076 --> 00:01:36,829 You know, they're made of paper. 29 00:01:37,196 --> 00:01:39,835 Well, that was a long time ago. 30 00:01:40,036 --> 00:01:43,426 How about if l just erase it? 31 00:01:44,996 --> 00:01:48,511 Now, about that rash? 32 00:01:49,796 --> 00:01:51,468 But it was in pen. 33 00:01:53,236 --> 00:01:55,625 You fake erased. 34 00:01:56,716 --> 00:01:59,276 All right, Miss Benes. This doesn't look too serious. 35 00:01:59,436 --> 00:02:01,074 You should be fine. 36 00:02:01,276 --> 00:02:02,789 What are you writing? 37 00:02:03,876 --> 00:02:05,150 Doctor? 38 00:02:07,036 --> 00:02:09,231 -Here you go. -Thanks. 39 00:02:09,436 --> 00:02:12,075 l hope you got that mustard stain out of your shirt. 40 00:02:20,276 --> 00:02:22,187 Jerry, what's the matter with your stereo? 41 00:02:22,356 --> 00:02:24,870 l don't know. What's the matter with your stereo? 42 00:02:25,036 --> 00:02:27,311 l traded it to Lomez for some steaks. 43 00:02:28,116 --> 00:02:29,265 -Hey. -Hey. 44 00:02:29,436 --> 00:02:31,392 -Now, see, this is busted. -No, it works. 45 00:02:31,556 --> 00:02:33,308 -lt's busted. -Watch. Let me show you. 46 00:02:33,476 --> 00:02:36,752 All you gotta do is-- You gotta jiggle it with this screwdriver. 47 00:02:36,916 --> 00:02:38,144 Smile. 48 00:02:38,316 --> 00:02:40,432 -What are you doing? -l met this woman Sheila. 49 00:02:40,596 --> 00:02:42,791 She works down at the one-hour photo place. 50 00:02:42,956 --> 00:02:45,993 She's got this incredible smile, like she's got too many teeth. 51 00:02:46,156 --> 00:02:47,475 Extra teeth. l love that. 52 00:02:47,676 --> 00:02:50,634 And check this out. l go to pick up my pictures and she says: 53 00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:54,027 '' l hope you got that mustard stain out of your shirt.'' 54 00:02:54,196 --> 00:02:56,426 -What mustard stain? -Don't you see? 55 00:02:56,596 --> 00:02:58,951 She's looking at my pictures. 56 00:02:59,116 --> 00:03:00,834 Why did you take a picture of a stain? 57 00:03:01,356 --> 00:03:04,348 -lt's got nothing to do with this. -l see, she's looking. 58 00:03:04,516 --> 00:03:06,552 Yes. 59 00:03:07,236 --> 00:03:08,589 You gotta get this fixed. 60 00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:10,826 They've tried. lt keeps coming back the same. 61 00:03:10,996 --> 00:03:13,351 -You interested in a refund? -l can't get a refund. 62 00:03:13,516 --> 00:03:16,553 -The warranty expired two years ago. -Would you be interested? 63 00:03:16,716 --> 00:03:18,149 -How you gonna--? -Would you? 64 00:03:18,316 --> 00:03:19,635 -l guess l would. -Yeah, yeah. 65 00:03:21,156 --> 00:03:22,430 You are not gonna believe... 66 00:03:22,596 --> 00:03:25,064 ...what happened to me at the doctor's office today. 67 00:03:25,236 --> 00:03:26,828 Not the gown again? 68 00:03:27,796 --> 00:03:32,267 No. No. l was looking at my chart, and it said that l was difficult. 69 00:03:32,436 --> 00:03:33,869 Why would they write that? 70 00:03:34,036 --> 00:03:35,264 They've gotten to know you. 71 00:03:35,836 --> 00:03:38,031 Then the doctor writes more stuff down there... 72 00:03:38,196 --> 00:03:40,187 ...and he doesn't even look at my rash. 73 00:03:40,356 --> 00:03:42,267 Find one that doesn't know you're difficult. 74 00:03:42,436 --> 00:03:45,234 Come on. l'm not difficult. l'm easy. 75 00:03:45,396 --> 00:03:47,956 Because you dress casual and sleep with a lot of guys? 76 00:03:49,076 --> 00:03:50,668 -Listen, you little sh-- -Smile. 77 00:03:53,556 --> 00:03:56,275 Elaine, you really didn't have to put on the gown. 78 00:03:56,756 --> 00:03:58,189 lt's my pleasure. l love these. 79 00:03:58,356 --> 00:04:00,028 ln fact, l've got one at home. 80 00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:02,505 lt's perfect when you wanna throw something on. 81 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,032 -Hi. -Thank you. 82 00:04:05,396 --> 00:04:06,988 All right. 83 00:04:07,636 --> 00:04:09,866 Let me just review your history before we begin. 84 00:04:10,036 --> 00:04:12,596 Oh, where did you get my chart? 85 00:04:12,756 --> 00:04:15,475 From your last doctor. lt's standard procedure. 86 00:04:15,636 --> 00:04:18,548 You know, l can tell you my whole history. Let's just-- 87 00:04:21,036 --> 00:04:22,185 Okay. Let's take a look. 88 00:04:23,076 --> 00:04:25,909 Well, that doesn't look too serious. You'll be fine. 89 00:04:26,916 --> 00:04:30,033 Please, please. lt-- But it's really, really itchy. 90 00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:37,068 Oh, no. 91 00:04:41,396 --> 00:04:43,193 -Seinfeld? -Yeah. 92 00:04:43,636 --> 00:04:45,706 Got a package for you. Sign here. 93 00:04:45,876 --> 00:04:48,390 -Oh, who's it from? -No return address. 94 00:04:48,556 --> 00:04:49,705 What if l don't want it? 95 00:04:50,196 --> 00:04:51,709 Are you refusing delivery? 96 00:04:51,876 --> 00:04:53,514 -Maybe l am. -Why would you do that? 97 00:04:53,676 --> 00:04:55,314 -Never done it before. -Why start? 98 00:04:55,476 --> 00:04:56,875 Why not? 99 00:04:59,636 --> 00:05:01,228 All right. 100 00:05:04,556 --> 00:05:06,786 Why'd you refuse that? Everybody loves a package. 101 00:05:06,956 --> 00:05:08,184 l don't know. lt was weird. 102 00:05:08,356 --> 00:05:10,028 Crazy printing. l don't know who from. 103 00:05:10,356 --> 00:05:11,789 What do you think? lt's a bomb? 104 00:05:12,116 --> 00:05:13,868 lt's not totally impossible. 105 00:05:15,436 --> 00:05:17,188 The ego on you. 106 00:05:17,356 --> 00:05:20,587 -Why can't l be bomb-able? -Who's gonna bomb you? 107 00:05:20,756 --> 00:05:24,066 An airline for all the stupid little peanut jokes? 108 00:05:24,236 --> 00:05:26,830 Oh, l suppose you think you're bomb-able? 109 00:05:26,996 --> 00:05:29,226 Couple people wouldn't mind having me out of the way. 110 00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:31,307 There's more than a couple. 111 00:05:31,916 --> 00:05:34,350 Check these out. l just picked them up from Sheila. 112 00:05:34,516 --> 00:05:36,427 She must have loved these. 113 00:05:36,596 --> 00:05:38,985 -You don't have a Mercedes. -Just leaned on it... 114 00:05:39,156 --> 00:05:40,669 ...so it'd look like mine. 115 00:05:40,836 --> 00:05:42,349 The driver seems put out. 116 00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:43,869 No, he was fine with it. 117 00:05:44,036 --> 00:05:45,674 Check this out. 118 00:05:46,436 --> 00:05:47,630 ls that Burt Reynolds? 119 00:05:48,156 --> 00:05:49,794 Wax Museum. 120 00:05:52,316 --> 00:05:55,149 -What is this? -That is a lot of skin. 121 00:05:55,636 --> 00:05:58,594 This must be Sheila from the photo place. 122 00:05:58,756 --> 00:06:01,554 -You can barely see her face. -She must have slipped it in. 123 00:06:06,556 --> 00:06:10,469 -Photo-store Sheila. -Well, hello, photo-store Sheila. 124 00:06:10,636 --> 00:06:13,104 All right. l will see you boys later. 125 00:06:13,276 --> 00:06:15,346 -Where are you going? -To ask her out. 126 00:06:15,516 --> 00:06:18,986 -No, no. You're not playing the game. -What game? 127 00:06:19,156 --> 00:06:21,226 She goes to these lengths to entice you... 128 00:06:21,396 --> 00:06:24,069 ...and your only response is, '' l really like your picture. 129 00:06:24,236 --> 00:06:26,989 Would you like to go out on a date with me, please?'' 130 00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:32,431 -No good? -lt's the timeless art of seduction. 131 00:06:32,596 --> 00:06:35,986 You gotta join in the dance. She sends you an enticing photo... 132 00:06:36,156 --> 00:06:39,307 -...you send her one right back. -Oh, l don't know. 133 00:06:39,476 --> 00:06:42,832 Well, as you know, l've always been something of a photog. 134 00:06:42,996 --> 00:06:45,829 Oh, yeah, l like this idea. 135 00:06:46,516 --> 00:06:48,029 Hey, Danny. 136 00:06:48,196 --> 00:06:51,154 -Hello. How are you? -Hey, Leo. 137 00:06:51,316 --> 00:06:53,989 What's with your nephew? He wouldn't accept the package. 138 00:06:54,156 --> 00:06:56,112 He wants it. He's just trying to be funny. 139 00:06:56,276 --> 00:06:58,028 Yeah, l'll sign for it. 140 00:07:00,156 --> 00:07:02,192 And then he started writing on my chart. 141 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:05,316 Just get ahold of it and change what you don't like. 142 00:07:05,476 --> 00:07:07,592 You can't change your chart. lt's your chart. 143 00:07:07,756 --> 00:07:09,712 l'm in my personnel file all the time. 144 00:07:09,876 --> 00:07:13,425 -You are? -l've kept the same job over two years. 145 00:07:13,596 --> 00:07:15,268 lt's not luck. 146 00:07:15,676 --> 00:07:18,668 Have you ever sent a racy photograph of yourself to anyone? 147 00:07:19,516 --> 00:07:22,986 Yeah. l sent one to everyone l know. 148 00:07:23,156 --> 00:07:24,669 You remember my Christmas card? 149 00:07:25,316 --> 00:07:27,307 Oh, right. 150 00:07:27,916 --> 00:07:29,395 The nipple. 151 00:07:34,276 --> 00:07:36,744 Aside from that, how did you feel about Kramer's work? 152 00:07:36,916 --> 00:07:38,827 Actually, l thought he was professional. 153 00:07:38,996 --> 00:07:40,588 -lt was a good experience? -Yeah. 154 00:07:40,756 --> 00:07:43,145 l liked the picture so much l cropped out the nipple. 155 00:07:43,316 --> 00:07:45,068 l'm using it for my health-club lD. 156 00:07:45,236 --> 00:07:47,955 -Nice. -Yeah, it is nice actually. 157 00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:50,833 l've gotta see Dr. Berg right away. 158 00:07:50,996 --> 00:07:53,874 -This rash is spreading. -He can't see you. He's busy. 159 00:07:54,036 --> 00:07:55,788 Oh, come on. Have some compassion. 160 00:07:58,996 --> 00:08:02,033 Well, l hope it's contagious then. 161 00:08:18,036 --> 00:08:21,028 Come on. Move. 162 00:08:24,596 --> 00:08:26,473 Oh, hi, Dr. Berg. 163 00:08:26,636 --> 00:08:29,230 -l didn't know if-- -The chart, Miss Benes. 164 00:08:35,116 --> 00:08:37,630 Oh, please, no more. 165 00:08:40,996 --> 00:08:42,190 -Hey. -Where's Kramer? 166 00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:44,267 He went to get some steak sauce. Why? 167 00:08:44,996 --> 00:08:46,270 Personal matter. 168 00:08:48,476 --> 00:08:52,867 -Hello. -Jerry, it's your Uncle Leo. Hello. 169 00:08:53,036 --> 00:08:55,630 Hello, Leo. You don't have to yell. 170 00:08:55,996 --> 00:08:57,554 l got your package. 171 00:08:57,716 --> 00:09:00,355 -How did you get my package? -Leo's got your package? 172 00:09:00,516 --> 00:09:03,076 -What should l do? -l don't know what you should do. 173 00:09:03,236 --> 00:09:04,749 Tell him to open it. 174 00:09:04,916 --> 00:09:08,033 l'm not gonna treat my uncle like a bomb-defusing robot. 175 00:09:08,476 --> 00:09:10,353 Jerry, your cousin Jeffrey... 176 00:09:10,516 --> 00:09:13,474 ...is in a Parks Department production of The Mikado. 177 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,706 l want you to come see it with me. 178 00:09:15,876 --> 00:09:19,312 -Open the package, Leo. -Okay. 179 00:09:19,716 --> 00:09:22,230 Opening. 180 00:09:30,996 --> 00:09:32,190 So it wasn't a bomb? 181 00:09:32,356 --> 00:09:35,268 No. No bomb. 182 00:09:35,716 --> 00:09:37,991 -Well, then, what? -Oh, stupid Leo. 183 00:09:38,156 --> 00:09:41,068 He was using those oven cleaners. He left the canister in there. 184 00:09:41,236 --> 00:09:43,625 The pilot light was on. The whole thing blew up. 185 00:09:43,956 --> 00:09:45,674 -But he's okay? -Yeah. 186 00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:48,634 The explosion singed off his eyebrows, moustache, everything. 187 00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:51,264 He's all smooth now. Looks like a seal. 188 00:09:52,636 --> 00:09:54,354 Yes. Hi, yeah, l'm still holding. 189 00:09:54,516 --> 00:09:56,029 ls this my stereo? 190 00:09:56,796 --> 00:09:58,514 Oh, hey, you got it. 191 00:09:58,676 --> 00:10:01,236 Hey, what happened to my stereo? lt's all smashed up. 192 00:10:01,396 --> 00:10:04,433 That's right. Now it looks like it was broken during shipping... 193 00:10:04,596 --> 00:10:06,507 ...and l insured it for $400. 194 00:10:06,676 --> 00:10:08,428 You were supposed to get me a refund. 195 00:10:08,596 --> 00:10:11,588 You can't get a refund. Your warranty expired two years ago. 196 00:10:13,076 --> 00:10:15,954 So we're gonna make the post office pay for my new stereo now? 197 00:10:16,156 --> 00:10:18,750 -lt's a write-off for them. -How is it a write-off? 198 00:10:18,916 --> 00:10:20,395 They just write it off. 199 00:10:20,956 --> 00:10:22,355 Write it off what? 200 00:10:22,516 --> 00:10:25,394 Jerry, all these big companies, they write off everything. 201 00:10:26,076 --> 00:10:28,590 You don't even know what a write-off is. 202 00:10:30,116 --> 00:10:32,584 -Do you? -No, l don't. 203 00:10:32,876 --> 00:10:34,150 But they do. 204 00:10:34,316 --> 00:10:37,069 And they're the ones writing it off. 205 00:10:40,916 --> 00:10:43,146 l wish l had the last 20 seconds of my life back. 206 00:10:43,316 --> 00:10:48,265 What? What? He doesn't have one appointment this whole month? 207 00:10:48,436 --> 00:10:51,792 Oh, come on. l'm dying here, man. 208 00:10:51,956 --> 00:10:54,914 Hello? Hello? 209 00:10:57,756 --> 00:10:58,984 Still no luck? 210 00:10:59,156 --> 00:11:02,034 Jerry, that was Dr. Zimmerman. l'm at the end of the alphabet. 211 00:11:02,196 --> 00:11:04,391 There's no Zorn or Zutroff? 212 00:11:04,556 --> 00:11:07,946 They're on vacation. Every doctor in this city seems to know who l am. 213 00:11:08,316 --> 00:11:09,874 Hey, what about Dr. Resnick? 214 00:11:10,036 --> 00:11:11,788 My Uncle Leo's gonna see him tomorrow. 215 00:11:11,956 --> 00:11:14,516 Dr. Resnick. He's not listed. 216 00:11:14,676 --> 00:11:16,348 He's not that good. 217 00:11:16,516 --> 00:11:18,950 Elaine said you were pretty good at this stuff. 218 00:11:19,116 --> 00:11:22,313 Oh, yeah. Elaine was a fun project. l enjoyed working with her. 219 00:11:23,756 --> 00:11:25,986 -You don't have your own camera? -No. 220 00:11:26,836 --> 00:11:28,349 Oh, boy, look at this. 221 00:11:28,516 --> 00:11:30,632 Yeah. Okay. 222 00:11:30,796 --> 00:11:32,149 This looks good. 223 00:11:32,316 --> 00:11:33,749 Very, very, good. 224 00:11:33,916 --> 00:11:35,474 And l like what you're wearing. 225 00:11:35,836 --> 00:11:38,225 -l feel fat. -No, no. You're stout. 226 00:11:38,396 --> 00:11:40,068 The camera loves stoutness. 227 00:11:40,636 --> 00:11:43,753 Look, we're not gonna do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. 228 00:11:43,916 --> 00:11:46,066 The key word is ''tasteful.'' 229 00:11:46,236 --> 00:11:49,672 Now, l want to you relax and have fun because you're a fun guy. 230 00:11:51,156 --> 00:11:52,908 All right. Let's do it, huh? 231 00:11:53,076 --> 00:11:56,273 Yeah. Yeah. 232 00:11:56,836 --> 00:11:59,908 Okay. Come on. Feel the beat. 233 00:12:00,076 --> 00:12:02,988 Feel the beat. All right. 234 00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:06,831 You know, you got real strong pecs, but it's hard to tell under that T-shirt. 235 00:12:06,996 --> 00:12:10,193 -You want me to take it off? -Well, l don't know. lt's up to you. 236 00:12:10,356 --> 00:12:12,995 -lt would be better? -Might be. Whatever you want. 237 00:12:13,156 --> 00:12:15,954 -All right. Come on. -Yeah. 238 00:12:16,116 --> 00:12:19,028 That's it. Come on, George. That's it. Come on. Give it to me. 239 00:12:19,196 --> 00:12:21,551 Come on. Work it. Work it. Oh, yeah. 240 00:12:21,716 --> 00:12:25,345 Hold it. Hold it. Yeah, be a man. Be a man. 241 00:12:25,516 --> 00:12:28,269 Lover boy. You are a lover boy. 242 00:12:28,436 --> 00:12:30,791 Oh, yeah. This can't miss. 243 00:12:40,196 --> 00:12:41,390 Hello? 244 00:12:41,556 --> 00:12:43,786 Is this Elaine Marie Benes? 245 00:12:43,956 --> 00:12:46,550 Yeah. Who's this? 246 00:12:46,716 --> 00:12:50,425 We're with the American Medical Association, the AMA. 247 00:12:50,596 --> 00:12:53,349 Can you confirm the correct spelling of your last name? 248 00:12:53,516 --> 00:12:55,632 Is it B-E-N-E-S? 249 00:12:56,356 --> 00:12:59,473 Yeah. What is this about? 250 00:12:59,636 --> 00:13:01,035 Goodbye. 251 00:13:01,956 --> 00:13:03,469 Hello? 252 00:13:03,636 --> 00:13:05,433 -Hello? -What? 253 00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:09,305 Get off the line. We're trying to mak e another call. 254 00:13:09,476 --> 00:13:11,592 Oh, sorry. 255 00:13:16,876 --> 00:13:19,185 Elaine. Hello. What are you doing here? 256 00:13:19,556 --> 00:13:22,673 -Has the doctor been in yet? -No, l'll ask him about my eyebrows. 257 00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:25,828 Okay. Listen, Leo. You're hairless, you're scared. 258 00:13:25,996 --> 00:13:29,705 When the doctor comes in, you just let me do the talking, okay? Okay. 259 00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:32,749 Leo. l understand you had a little mishap. 260 00:13:32,916 --> 00:13:34,634 lt was a fireball. 261 00:13:34,796 --> 00:13:37,356 l never should have left him alone. 262 00:13:37,516 --> 00:13:42,670 -And who are you? -l'm his nurse. Paloma. 263 00:13:42,836 --> 00:13:45,225 You're not my nurse. 264 00:13:45,556 --> 00:13:48,673 He has good days and bad. 265 00:13:48,836 --> 00:13:50,349 What seems to be the problem? 266 00:13:50,516 --> 00:13:54,634 -Are my eyebrows gonna grow back? -And he seems to have a bit of a rash. 267 00:13:54,996 --> 00:13:56,509 -Really? -Yeah. 268 00:13:56,996 --> 00:14:00,625 Well, there's been a bit of that going around lately. 269 00:14:00,876 --> 00:14:02,912 Will you excuse me a minute, Paloma? 270 00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:05,636 l'm just going to get some ointment. 271 00:14:09,076 --> 00:14:10,794 l don't like this. This is too easy. 272 00:14:10,956 --> 00:14:13,948 -Elaine-- -Shut up. l think he's onto us. 273 00:14:15,436 --> 00:14:17,233 Elaine, what about my eyebrows? 274 00:14:17,396 --> 00:14:18,795 Here. Here. 275 00:14:21,396 --> 00:14:22,988 l don't like this, Kramer. 276 00:14:23,836 --> 00:14:25,394 Will it be much longer? 277 00:14:25,556 --> 00:14:28,150 l'm sorry. lt looks like the claim has been red-flagged. 278 00:14:28,316 --> 00:14:29,874 You're under investigation. 279 00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:32,504 -lnvestigation? -Hello, Jerry. 280 00:14:34,356 --> 00:14:36,028 Hello, Newman. 281 00:14:36,196 --> 00:14:40,155 Kramer, you might as well run along. 282 00:14:40,316 --> 00:14:41,954 Jerry may be a while. 283 00:14:42,116 --> 00:14:44,755 Suspicion of mail fraud. 284 00:14:44,916 --> 00:14:46,190 Mail fraud? 285 00:14:46,356 --> 00:14:48,631 You're in a lot of trouble, buddy. 286 00:14:51,876 --> 00:14:54,185 Okay, l've got your ointment. Where's your-- 287 00:14:54,356 --> 00:14:56,916 -Where's your nurse? -She left. 288 00:14:57,556 --> 00:15:00,628 Whoa, whoa, no need to get angry. 289 00:15:00,796 --> 00:15:03,310 -Calm down. -l am calm. 290 00:15:03,476 --> 00:15:05,228 Leo, l don't care for your demeanour. 291 00:15:05,396 --> 00:15:06,909 Demeanour? 292 00:15:07,276 --> 00:15:08,914 Now you're just being difficult. 293 00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:11,028 What are you writing? 294 00:15:12,156 --> 00:15:17,389 So l really liked the pictures l picked up here yesterday. 295 00:15:17,916 --> 00:15:19,110 l'm glad, George. 296 00:15:19,276 --> 00:15:21,551 And here's a little roll... 297 00:15:21,716 --> 00:15:24,071 ...that l think you may enjoy. 298 00:15:24,276 --> 00:15:25,470 Great. 299 00:15:25,636 --> 00:15:27,627 Shall we say an hour? 300 00:15:33,076 --> 00:15:34,987 l gotta go to lunch. Could you do a roll? 301 00:15:35,396 --> 00:15:36,988 No problem. 302 00:15:37,156 --> 00:15:39,624 By the way, you know that model who's always in here? 303 00:15:39,796 --> 00:15:41,832 She's missing one of her lingerie shots. 304 00:15:41,996 --> 00:15:44,590 -Have you seen it? -No. 305 00:15:44,756 --> 00:15:46,474 All right. All right. 306 00:15:48,436 --> 00:15:50,631 Then let me ask you this: 307 00:15:51,956 --> 00:15:55,471 Don't you find it interesting that your friend had the foresight... 308 00:15:55,636 --> 00:15:58,594 ...to purchase postal insurance for your stereo? Huh? 309 00:15:58,756 --> 00:16:01,714 l mean, parcels are rarely damaged during shipping. 310 00:16:02,156 --> 00:16:05,228 -Define '' rarely.'' -Frequently. 311 00:16:06,836 --> 00:16:08,747 Are we about through here, Newman? 312 00:16:10,036 --> 00:16:13,665 lt's pretty hot under these lights, huh, Seinfeld? 313 00:16:14,036 --> 00:16:16,994 Pretty hot. 314 00:16:19,516 --> 00:16:21,586 Actually, l'm quite comfortable. 315 00:16:27,316 --> 00:16:29,546 -Can l have a sip? -No. 316 00:16:31,516 --> 00:16:33,984 Not gonna play ball, huh? 317 00:16:34,156 --> 00:16:35,794 All right. Admit it. 318 00:16:35,956 --> 00:16:38,026 That stereo was already busted. 319 00:16:38,196 --> 00:16:39,868 You can't prove anything. 320 00:16:40,036 --> 00:16:42,596 ls this or is this not your signature? 321 00:16:43,116 --> 00:16:44,913 No, as a matter of fact, it isn't. 322 00:16:47,916 --> 00:16:49,588 '' Uncle Leo''? 323 00:16:51,516 --> 00:16:54,030 This case is closed pending further evidence. 324 00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:00,670 Jerry! 325 00:17:03,316 --> 00:17:05,784 Get in there, get the chart, and get out. You got it? 326 00:17:05,956 --> 00:17:07,947 No problem. Let me borrow your scarf. 327 00:17:08,116 --> 00:17:09,708 -What? This? -Yeah. lt's nice. Yeah. 328 00:17:10,236 --> 00:17:12,830 -Here. -Yeah. All right. 329 00:17:13,516 --> 00:17:15,313 -One chart coming up. -Okay. 330 00:17:15,476 --> 00:17:16,909 lt's Bennett, right? 331 00:17:17,076 --> 00:17:18,828 lt's Benes, you jackass. 332 00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:20,907 My last name is Benes. 333 00:17:22,836 --> 00:17:24,189 Yeah. 334 00:17:25,996 --> 00:17:27,588 Jerry. Jerry. 335 00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:30,350 Jerry. Jerry. Jerry. 336 00:17:31,956 --> 00:17:34,345 Jerry. Jerry? 337 00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:39,031 Jerry. 338 00:17:39,956 --> 00:17:42,151 So l like what you've done there. 339 00:17:44,276 --> 00:17:45,709 -May l help you? -Yes, yes. 340 00:17:45,876 --> 00:17:49,471 l'm Dr. Van Nostrund from the clinic. 341 00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:51,592 l'm gonna need Elaine Benes' chart. 342 00:17:51,756 --> 00:17:54,589 She's a patient of mine. 343 00:17:55,076 --> 00:17:57,465 l don't think she's gonna make it. lt's very bad. 344 00:17:57,636 --> 00:18:00,104 Very, very messy. 345 00:18:00,276 --> 00:18:02,107 l see. And what clinic is that again? 346 00:18:02,516 --> 00:18:04,108 That's correct. 347 00:18:05,196 --> 00:18:08,233 - Excuse me? -From the Hoffermandorf Neo Clinic... 348 00:18:08,396 --> 00:18:10,512 -...in Belgium. -Oh, really? 349 00:18:10,996 --> 00:18:12,190 The Netherlands? 350 00:18:15,916 --> 00:18:17,668 -Where's my chart? Did you get it? -No. 351 00:18:17,836 --> 00:18:19,269 -What happened? -l don't know. 352 00:18:19,436 --> 00:18:20,664 Now they got a chart on me. 353 00:18:21,916 --> 00:18:23,713 l don't know where they could be. 354 00:18:23,876 --> 00:18:25,309 You can't find them. 355 00:18:25,476 --> 00:18:26,670 That's marvellous. 356 00:18:26,836 --> 00:18:28,872 The dance continues. 357 00:18:29,236 --> 00:18:30,908 Well, if l find them l'll call you. 358 00:18:31,076 --> 00:18:34,512 Great. And maybe we could go out and do something. 359 00:18:34,676 --> 00:18:36,075 Sure. 360 00:18:39,276 --> 00:18:40,595 Hello. 361 00:18:43,836 --> 00:18:45,315 Hi. 362 00:18:52,436 --> 00:18:55,872 -So the little guy finally asked me out. -Really? 363 00:18:56,036 --> 00:18:58,106 Hey, l can't find his photos anywhere. 364 00:18:58,276 --> 00:19:00,915 You know, some guy from the post office confiscated them. 365 00:19:01,076 --> 00:19:02,270 He left his card. 366 00:19:06,716 --> 00:19:08,752 l don't know what Newman wanted me for. 367 00:19:09,236 --> 00:19:11,591 Gentlemen. Gentlemen. 368 00:19:11,756 --> 00:19:15,305 l'm so happy to see you both. 369 00:19:15,476 --> 00:19:18,468 There's just some inconsistencies l'd like to straighten out. 370 00:19:18,636 --> 00:19:22,515 -l'm clean, Newman, and you know it. -Clean? Hardly. 371 00:19:24,796 --> 00:19:26,309 This doesn't look like a man... 372 00:19:26,476 --> 00:19:29,991 ...who's happy with his stereo performance, now, does it? 373 00:19:30,156 --> 00:19:32,112 -Where did you get that? -That's mine. 374 00:19:32,276 --> 00:19:35,871 Looks like you're breaking into it like an otter cracks open a clam. 375 00:19:36,396 --> 00:19:38,671 Don't know about that, but there's an explanation. 376 00:19:38,836 --> 00:19:42,351 Yes. lt's called ''mail fraud.'' 377 00:19:42,876 --> 00:19:45,674 How l've longed for this moment, Seinfeld. 378 00:19:45,836 --> 00:19:47,872 The day l would have the proof l needed... 379 00:19:48,036 --> 00:19:50,345 ...to haul you out of your cushy lair... 380 00:19:50,516 --> 00:19:54,555 ...and expose you to the light of justice as the monster that you are. 381 00:19:54,716 --> 00:19:57,549 -A monster so vile-- -Newman! 382 00:20:00,156 --> 00:20:03,148 There'll be a small fine. 383 00:20:03,316 --> 00:20:04,908 Okay. 384 00:20:05,076 --> 00:20:09,388 -Can we go now? -Not so fast, pretty boy. 385 00:20:10,556 --> 00:20:14,754 There's more to this sordid little affair. 386 00:20:20,116 --> 00:20:22,152 Oh, my God. 387 00:20:22,316 --> 00:20:24,750 This photo clearly indicates your involvement... 388 00:20:24,916 --> 00:20:29,387 ...in some ill-conceived mail-order pornography ring. 389 00:20:29,556 --> 00:20:35,188 As does this one, found in the same disturbing packet. 390 00:20:38,116 --> 00:20:40,107 Oh, my God! 391 00:20:40,476 --> 00:20:44,105 We have a few questions we'd like you to answer. 392 00:20:44,276 --> 00:20:47,154 l have a few questions of my own. 393 00:20:47,676 --> 00:20:49,075 Hi. One of your mailmen-- 394 00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:52,746 Oh, my God. George. 395 00:20:52,956 --> 00:20:55,265 Well, Sheila, it's not what you think. 396 00:20:55,436 --> 00:20:57,233 l put my trust in the wrong person. 397 00:20:57,396 --> 00:21:00,229 He said the key word was ''tasteful.'' 398 00:21:01,196 --> 00:21:03,869 The timeless art of seduction. 399 00:21:16,756 --> 00:21:18,747 Oh, gee. 400 00:21:19,156 --> 00:21:21,272 That wasn't such a long drive. 401 00:21:21,476 --> 00:21:23,194 The dirt road really hurt my back. 402 00:21:23,356 --> 00:21:25,631 Okay, please, everybody just stop complaining. 403 00:21:25,796 --> 00:21:27,912 Smile. We're good patients. 404 00:21:28,076 --> 00:21:30,590 Okay, Miss Benes, you wanna come on back? 405 00:21:30,756 --> 00:21:32,986 -Oh, l'd love to. -Oh, just a second. 406 00:21:33,156 --> 00:21:34,828 -Okay. -Hello. 407 00:21:35,156 --> 00:21:36,589 Yes. 408 00:21:36,756 --> 00:21:39,429 Well, as a matter of fact, they're here right now. 409 00:21:40,756 --> 00:21:42,189 l understand.