1 00:00:06,482 --> 00:00:07,801 You're on a desert island. 2 00:00:07,962 --> 00:00:10,192 You can bring five books. Which five do you take? 3 00:00:10,362 --> 00:00:11,636 l gotta read five books? 4 00:00:11,842 --> 00:00:13,958 All right, one. 5 00:00:15,042 --> 00:00:16,521 Come on. 6 00:00:16,682 --> 00:00:18,035 l got it. Three Musk eteers. 7 00:00:18,202 --> 00:00:21,080 -You've read that? -No, l'm saving it for the island. 8 00:00:21,242 --> 00:00:23,597 All right, let's start this whole thing over. 9 00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:26,401 Best Chamberlain: Wilt, Richard, or Neville? 10 00:00:26,562 --> 00:00:27,551 For the desert island? 11 00:00:27,722 --> 00:00:29,394 -Okay. -Richard. 12 00:00:29,562 --> 00:00:31,393 You know, he was in The Three Musk eteers. 13 00:00:31,562 --> 00:00:34,030 Exactly. Save me having to read the book. 14 00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:35,681 What's going on over there? 15 00:00:35,842 --> 00:00:38,595 l don't know. l gotta see somebody. 16 00:00:44,522 --> 00:00:47,116 So, Marcy, you should have seen me in the hot tub today. 17 00:00:47,282 --> 00:00:48,920 -Why? -l was naked. 18 00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:51,277 -Oh, George. -l saw it. 19 00:00:51,442 --> 00:00:55,071 -How'd he look? -Okay. l wouldn't see it again. 20 00:00:55,242 --> 00:00:58,359 A friend of mine thought she got Legionnaires' disease in a hot tub. 21 00:00:58,522 --> 00:00:59,557 Really, what happened? 22 00:00:59,722 --> 00:01:01,678 Yada, yada, yada. Just some bad egg salad. 23 00:01:01,842 --> 00:01:03,434 l'll be right back. 24 00:01:06,282 --> 00:01:08,000 -Nice girl. -Lovely. 25 00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:10,158 l notice she's big on the phrase, ''Yada yada.'' 26 00:01:10,322 --> 00:01:12,358 -ls ''yada yada'' bad? -No, ''yada yada'''s good. 27 00:01:12,522 --> 00:01:14,592 -She's very succinct. -She is succinct. 28 00:01:14,762 --> 00:01:16,514 Yeah, like you're dating USA Today. 29 00:01:17,962 --> 00:01:19,554 -Hey. -Hey, Tim. 30 00:01:19,722 --> 00:01:22,520 -George, you know Tim Whatley. -Yeah, dentist to the stars. 31 00:01:22,682 --> 00:01:26,311 -What's up? -l'll tell you what's up. l'm a Jew. 32 00:01:27,362 --> 00:01:28,636 -Excuse me? -l'm a Jew. 33 00:01:28,802 --> 00:01:30,520 l finished converting two days ago. 34 00:01:30,962 --> 00:01:34,352 Oh, well, welcome aboard. 35 00:01:36,002 --> 00:01:39,199 -Thanks. So l'll see you tomorrow? -Yeah, l have a cavity, lower left. 36 00:01:39,362 --> 00:01:41,353 -Were you just at the health club? -Yeah. 37 00:01:41,522 --> 00:01:43,797 -We must have just missed you. -l didn't do much. 38 00:01:43,962 --> 00:01:45,236 l just sat in the sauna. 39 00:01:45,402 --> 00:01:48,155 You know, it was more like a Jewish workout. 40 00:01:48,322 --> 00:01:49,721 l'll see you. 41 00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:57,712 Elaine, the guy's Jewish two days. He's already making Jewish jokes. 42 00:01:58,322 --> 00:02:02,600 So what? When someone turns 21 , they usually get drunk the first night. 43 00:02:02,762 --> 00:02:04,354 Booze is not a religion. 44 00:02:04,522 --> 00:02:05,921 Tell that to my father. 45 00:02:07,202 --> 00:02:09,875 Anyway, guess what. Beth Lookner called me. 46 00:02:10,042 --> 00:02:13,000 Beth Lookner. l'm still waiting out that marriage. 47 00:02:13,162 --> 00:02:16,438 What are you talking about? That marriage ended six months ago. 48 00:02:16,602 --> 00:02:18,240 She's already remarried. 49 00:02:18,402 --> 00:02:19,960 Where was l? 50 00:02:20,802 --> 00:02:22,121 lt was when you were engaged. 51 00:02:22,602 --> 00:02:26,038 Oh, l gotta get on that lnternet. l'm late on everything. 52 00:02:26,722 --> 00:02:29,520 Anyway, so Beth and her new husband, Arnie... 53 00:02:29,682 --> 00:02:32,754 ...have listed me as a reference for an adoption agency. 54 00:02:32,922 --> 00:02:34,275 They're trying to get a baby. 55 00:02:34,442 --> 00:02:37,275 Oh, God, a baby. That can add two years to a marriage. 56 00:02:38,962 --> 00:02:40,600 Hey. Elaine, all right. 57 00:02:40,762 --> 00:02:44,118 Who looks better in this shirt, me or Mickey? 58 00:02:44,282 --> 00:02:45,556 We're double-dating tonight. 59 00:02:45,722 --> 00:02:48,077 lf we wear the same shirt we'll look like idiots. 60 00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:50,281 Turn around. 61 00:02:56,242 --> 00:02:59,632 Well, you're both so striking. 62 00:02:59,802 --> 00:03:01,030 Yeah, tell me about it. 63 00:03:01,202 --> 00:03:02,794 We picked up two women at The Gap. 64 00:03:02,962 --> 00:03:05,920 How did you decide which one of you would date which girl? 65 00:03:12,762 --> 00:03:16,277 So l'm on Third Avenue, minding my own business and yada, yada, yada. 66 00:03:16,442 --> 00:03:19,036 l get a free massage and a facial. 67 00:03:20,522 --> 00:03:22,592 What a succinct story. 68 00:03:23,682 --> 00:03:25,513 So l'm surprised you drive a Cadillac. 69 00:03:25,682 --> 00:03:27,991 Oh, it's not mine. lt's my mother's. 70 00:03:29,562 --> 00:03:31,041 Are you close with your parents? 71 00:03:31,202 --> 00:03:34,638 Well, they gave birth to me and yada, yada. 72 00:03:34,802 --> 00:03:35,791 Yada what? 73 00:03:36,322 --> 00:03:39,120 Yada, yada, yada. 74 00:03:47,402 --> 00:03:48,676 lt's a nice place. 75 00:03:49,482 --> 00:03:51,313 Really nice. 76 00:03:52,042 --> 00:03:54,192 -l like your shirt. -Oh, thank you. 77 00:03:54,362 --> 00:03:57,718 lt's a hundred percent cotton. And some wool. 78 00:03:59,922 --> 00:04:02,994 Well, you two seem to have the same taste. 79 00:04:03,482 --> 00:04:06,758 -Well, l like it too. -Oh, well, l have the same shirt. 80 00:04:06,922 --> 00:04:08,640 Yeah, well, l'm wearing it. 81 00:04:10,122 --> 00:04:11,874 Well, l like your shirt too. 82 00:04:12,762 --> 00:04:14,320 Well, so do l. 83 00:04:20,242 --> 00:04:21,960 Did l mention l'm a serious actor? 84 00:04:22,362 --> 00:04:25,081 -Really? -l enjoy polo. 85 00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:27,916 l like the beach. 86 00:04:28,842 --> 00:04:31,640 My aunt has been ill of late. 87 00:04:32,962 --> 00:04:34,680 l own a tuxedo. 88 00:04:36,202 --> 00:04:38,397 Anything to drink? Some wine perhaps? 89 00:04:38,562 --> 00:04:40,314 -l like merlot. -l love merlot. 90 00:04:40,482 --> 00:04:43,758 -l'm crazy about merlot. -l live for merlot. 91 00:04:44,282 --> 00:04:45,715 We're out of merlot. 92 00:04:51,602 --> 00:04:53,240 We'll clear out for your interview. 93 00:04:53,402 --> 00:04:54,676 -Okay. -Make us sound good. 94 00:04:54,842 --> 00:04:56,753 -Oh, come on. -Bye. 95 00:04:56,922 --> 00:04:58,878 -Bye, Beth. Bye, Arnie. -Bye. 96 00:05:00,282 --> 00:05:01,840 Nice people. 97 00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:04,914 So you know Beth and Arnie pretty well? 98 00:05:05,082 --> 00:05:06,401 Oh, yeah, yeah. 99 00:05:06,562 --> 00:05:08,712 Do you socialize with them often? 100 00:05:08,882 --> 00:05:10,679 Yeah, yeah, we go out to dinner a lot... 101 00:05:10,842 --> 00:05:13,481 ...usually Chinese. Well, sometimes Thai. 102 00:05:15,522 --> 00:05:18,514 And we go to the movies. Arnie's a real film buff. 103 00:05:20,442 --> 00:05:22,592 Actually, l remember this one time. 104 00:05:22,762 --> 00:05:24,115 This is funny. 105 00:05:25,482 --> 00:05:27,632 We went to see the movie Striptease. 106 00:05:27,802 --> 00:05:31,238 l don't know if you've seen it. lt doesn't matter. Anyway. 107 00:05:31,842 --> 00:05:33,912 And it was during the opening credits... 108 00:05:34,082 --> 00:05:36,232 ...it was before the movie even started. 109 00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:38,597 And l was whispering something to Beth... 110 00:05:38,762 --> 00:05:43,153 ...and Arnie leans over to me and he goes, ''Would you shut up?'' 111 00:05:44,322 --> 00:05:47,120 l mean, he barely even knew me. Where did he get off--? 112 00:05:58,362 --> 00:06:01,479 But they're great people. 113 00:06:05,602 --> 00:06:07,558 You're in here. 114 00:06:07,722 --> 00:06:10,475 -What are you doing here? -l knew you had an appointment. 115 00:06:10,642 --> 00:06:12,758 Well, this is very awkward. 116 00:06:13,242 --> 00:06:14,800 l'll leave when the guy comes in. 117 00:06:15,322 --> 00:06:18,314 Hey, l gotta tell you. l am loving this yada yada thing. 118 00:06:18,482 --> 00:06:20,712 You know, l can gloss over my whole life story. 119 00:06:20,882 --> 00:06:23,521 -Look at that. -Hey, don't play with that. 120 00:06:23,682 --> 00:06:25,479 That's going in my mouth. 121 00:06:26,002 --> 00:06:28,357 -What is this thing? -All right. That's enough. 122 00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:30,672 -Just get going. Get out of here. -All right. 123 00:06:30,842 --> 00:06:32,355 -Hey, Tim. Quick question. -Hey. 124 00:06:32,802 --> 00:06:35,441 ls it normal for your teeth to make noises... 125 00:06:35,602 --> 00:06:37,320 ...like a hissing or a chirping? 126 00:06:37,482 --> 00:06:38,835 George. 127 00:06:40,122 --> 00:06:42,920 Fine, l'll make an appointment. 128 00:06:43,082 --> 00:06:47,155 All right. lt is cavity time. 129 00:06:51,322 --> 00:06:52,596 Here we go. 130 00:06:52,762 --> 00:06:54,878 Reminds me, you hear the one about the rabbi... 131 00:06:55,042 --> 00:06:57,158 ...and the farmer's daughter, huh? 132 00:06:58,882 --> 00:07:01,157 ''Those aren't matzo balls.'' 133 00:07:02,762 --> 00:07:04,753 -What? -Tim, do you think you should be... 134 00:07:04,922 --> 00:07:06,196 ...making jokes like that? 135 00:07:06,362 --> 00:07:08,432 Why not? l'm Jewish. Remember? 136 00:07:09,322 --> 00:07:12,439 -l know, but-- -Jerry, it's our sense of humour... 137 00:07:12,602 --> 00:07:15,639 ...that sustained us as a people for 3000 years. 138 00:07:16,642 --> 00:07:19,952 -Five thousand. -Five thousand, even better. 139 00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:24,475 Okay. Chrissy... 140 00:07:24,642 --> 00:07:26,280 ...give me a shtickl of fluoride. 141 00:07:30,802 --> 00:07:34,078 And then he asked the assistant for a shtickl of fluoride. 142 00:07:34,882 --> 00:07:37,237 Why are you so concerned about this? 143 00:07:37,402 --> 00:07:38,721 l'll tell you why. 144 00:07:38,882 --> 00:07:43,558 Because l believe Whatley converted to Judaism just for the jokes. 145 00:07:46,602 --> 00:07:48,194 -Hello. -Would you be interested... 146 00:07:48,362 --> 00:07:50,273 ... in a subscription to the New York Times? 147 00:07:50,442 --> 00:07:52,194 Yes. 148 00:07:57,602 --> 00:08:00,674 -Well, l don't believe that. -lf you'd got in the back seat... 149 00:08:00,842 --> 00:08:02,514 ...we could've figured this out. 150 00:08:02,682 --> 00:08:04,195 Why were you holding the door open? 151 00:08:04,362 --> 00:08:07,115 Not for you. Who holds a door open for a man? 152 00:08:07,282 --> 00:08:11,321 Well, l thought it was a nice gesture, but l guess l was wrong. 153 00:08:11,922 --> 00:08:13,560 Let's just put their names in a hat. 154 00:08:13,722 --> 00:08:15,394 l don't even know their names. 155 00:08:16,442 --> 00:08:19,036 Look, why don't you take the one on the left? 156 00:08:19,202 --> 00:08:22,274 -l'm not sure she's my type. -Oh, everybody's your type. 157 00:08:22,442 --> 00:08:23,955 What the hell does that mean? 158 00:08:24,122 --> 00:08:26,875 -You've been married three times. -That's it. lt's go time. 159 00:08:27,042 --> 00:08:29,476 -All right. Take it easy. Easy, easy. -Hey, hey, hey! 160 00:08:29,642 --> 00:08:32,475 No, come on, let him go. You wanna throw? Let's throw! 161 00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:36,681 Hey, hey! Hold on a second. 162 00:08:38,642 --> 00:08:40,598 All right, look. l got an idea. 163 00:08:40,762 --> 00:08:43,560 Why don't you just show up early for your next date... 164 00:08:43,722 --> 00:08:48,079 ...sit across from each other and see who the girls sit next to. 165 00:08:49,922 --> 00:08:52,356 -That's not bad. -Right. So we let the girls decide. 166 00:08:52,522 --> 00:08:54,433 Yeah, why should we knock ourselves out? 167 00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:57,799 -l wanna wear that shirt next time. -No one wears the shirt next time. 168 00:08:57,962 --> 00:09:00,840 -Right, because they already saw it. -We'll look like idiots. 169 00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:05,798 Well, we.... We were engaged to be married. 170 00:09:06,722 --> 00:09:10,112 We bought the wedding invitations and... 171 00:09:10,602 --> 00:09:13,355 ...yada, yada, yada. l'm still single. 172 00:09:14,482 --> 00:09:16,120 So, what's she doing now? 173 00:09:17,722 --> 00:09:19,121 Yada. 174 00:09:19,282 --> 00:09:22,831 -l get it. -l love talking to you. 175 00:09:23,002 --> 00:09:26,597 Me too. So speaking of exes... 176 00:09:26,762 --> 00:09:29,037 ...my old boyfriend came over late last night... 177 00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:34,037 ...and yada, yada, yada. Anyway, l'm really tired today. 178 00:09:44,482 --> 00:09:47,872 Beth, Arnie, hi. What's up? 179 00:09:48,402 --> 00:09:50,791 Well, our adoption application was denied. 180 00:09:51,282 --> 00:09:53,796 -Really? -The adoption agent seems to feel... 181 00:09:53,962 --> 00:09:55,873 ...that Arnie has a violent temper. 182 00:09:57,562 --> 00:09:59,234 So we're just asking our friends... 183 00:09:59,402 --> 00:10:01,791 ...what they may have said to the adoption agent. 184 00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:03,999 Well, l.... 185 00:10:05,642 --> 00:10:08,202 You know, l just told them what kind people you are... 186 00:10:09,802 --> 00:10:12,794 ...and how Arnie's a big movie buff... 187 00:10:12,962 --> 00:10:16,841 ...and yada, yada, yada. That is it. 188 00:10:21,042 --> 00:10:22,441 How you doing? 189 00:10:22,602 --> 00:10:24,274 l have some discomfort in my molar. 190 00:10:24,442 --> 00:10:26,194 You like Tootsie Rolls, don't you? 191 00:10:27,242 --> 00:10:29,517 Father Curtis, why don't you come in? 192 00:10:30,602 --> 00:10:32,991 Father Curtis, good guy. Oh, which reminds me. 193 00:10:33,162 --> 00:10:36,518 Did you hear the one about the pope and Raquel Welch on the lifeboat? 194 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,753 l'll tell you later. 195 00:10:40,762 --> 00:10:42,115 Whatley. 196 00:10:46,322 --> 00:10:47,880 What are they doing here? 197 00:10:48,042 --> 00:10:49,839 Told you we should've gotten here early. 198 00:10:50,002 --> 00:10:52,038 All right. Okay, now what are we going to do? 199 00:10:52,202 --> 00:10:53,271 All right. Don't panic. 200 00:10:53,442 --> 00:10:55,558 Let's just decide now. Which one do you want? 201 00:10:56,882 --> 00:10:58,873 -l'll take Julie. -l knew you wanted her. 202 00:10:59,042 --> 00:11:01,033 -That's who l wanted. -l'll take Karen. 203 00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:03,477 You think l'm falling for that? l'll take Karen. 204 00:11:03,642 --> 00:11:06,031 Fine. l'll take Julie. 205 00:11:06,202 --> 00:11:08,079 All right. Which one is Julie? 206 00:11:10,682 --> 00:11:12,513 l don't know. 207 00:11:12,962 --> 00:11:15,396 -Why don't we just grab a chair? -You first. 208 00:11:15,562 --> 00:11:17,154 No, you first. 209 00:11:18,882 --> 00:11:20,759 -How you doing? -Good evening. 210 00:11:26,722 --> 00:11:28,633 Stop. 211 00:11:33,642 --> 00:11:36,361 Well, you ladies look lovely tonight. 212 00:11:43,002 --> 00:11:45,596 So Whatley says to me, '' Hey, l can make Catholic jokes. 213 00:11:45,762 --> 00:11:47,195 l used to be Catholic.'' 214 00:11:47,362 --> 00:11:49,557 Now, see, l don't think it is a Catholic joke. 215 00:11:49,722 --> 00:11:51,952 l think it's more of a Raquel Welch joke. 216 00:11:52,122 --> 00:11:57,276 What was it? '' No, l said, 'Hand me the buoys.''' 217 00:12:01,402 --> 00:12:03,393 '' Buoys.'' 218 00:12:04,282 --> 00:12:06,876 Don't you see what Whatley is after? 219 00:12:07,042 --> 00:12:08,521 Total joke-telling immunity. 220 00:12:08,682 --> 00:12:10,798 He's already got the big two religions covered. 221 00:12:10,962 --> 00:12:13,874 lf he ever gets Polish citizenship, there'll be no stopping him. 222 00:12:14,322 --> 00:12:15,641 So, what are you going to do? 223 00:12:16,082 --> 00:12:18,915 l think this Father Curtis might be very interested to hear... 224 00:12:19,082 --> 00:12:22,358 ...what Whatley has the pope doing with Raquel Welch. 225 00:12:23,882 --> 00:12:26,032 Hey, Beth, Arnie, it's Elaine. 226 00:12:26,202 --> 00:12:29,353 Thought you guys might wanna have lunch. Give me a call. Bye. 227 00:12:29,522 --> 00:12:32,673 They're not getting a baby so you're taking them to lunch. 228 00:12:33,162 --> 00:12:34,515 l thought it would be nice. 229 00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:37,356 -Poor Beth. -Hey, Arnie's just as upset. 230 00:12:37,522 --> 00:12:39,353 Oh, screw him. 231 00:12:40,282 --> 00:12:41,397 Listen to this. 232 00:12:41,562 --> 00:12:44,872 Marcy comes over, tells me her ex-boyfriend was over late last night... 233 00:12:45,042 --> 00:12:48,352 ...and ''Yada, yada, yada, l'm really tired today.'' 234 00:12:49,962 --> 00:12:54,080 -What do you think she's tired from? -Well, obviously the yada yada. 235 00:12:55,162 --> 00:12:57,118 You don't think she'd yada yada sex? 236 00:12:58,042 --> 00:13:00,317 l've yada yada-ed sex. 237 00:13:00,482 --> 00:13:02,791 -Really? -Yeah. l met this lawyer. 238 00:13:02,962 --> 00:13:05,157 We went out to dinner. l had the lobster bisque. 239 00:13:05,322 --> 00:13:07,358 We went back to my place. Yada, yada, yada... 240 00:13:07,522 --> 00:13:09,399 ...l never heard from him again. 241 00:13:10,842 --> 00:13:12,833 But you yada yada-ed over the best part. 242 00:13:13,002 --> 00:13:15,755 No, l mentioned the bisque. 243 00:13:19,762 --> 00:13:22,435 Well, l gotta do something. 244 00:13:25,122 --> 00:13:26,953 Well, l gotta do something. 245 00:13:27,122 --> 00:13:29,192 George is already in there. 246 00:13:31,442 --> 00:13:33,717 No, Mickey and l. We can't work it out. 247 00:13:33,882 --> 00:13:37,318 You know, l'm thinking of asking that Karen out by myself. She's the one. 248 00:13:37,482 --> 00:13:38,881 You were leaning toward Julie. 249 00:13:39,042 --> 00:13:42,159 Well, l was. But the one l thought was Julie turned out to be Karen. 250 00:13:45,282 --> 00:13:46,874 Well, it was a hell of a yada yada. 251 00:13:47,042 --> 00:13:49,272 He's moving to Seattle. He wanted to say goodbye. 252 00:13:49,442 --> 00:13:52,161 l was just getting out of the shower and yada, yada, yada-- 253 00:13:52,322 --> 00:13:53,596 All right. Enough. Enough. 254 00:13:53,762 --> 00:13:58,711 From now on, no more yada yadas. Just give me the full story. 255 00:13:58,882 --> 00:14:00,634 Okay. Well... 256 00:14:00,802 --> 00:14:03,077 ...when l got out of the shower, l was dripping-- 257 00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:05,881 Not that story. Another story. 258 00:14:06,042 --> 00:14:08,476 Tell me about the free facial. 259 00:14:09,002 --> 00:14:12,677 Okay, well, like l said, l was on Third Avenue... 260 00:14:12,842 --> 00:14:14,878 ...and l stopped by a large department store. 261 00:14:15,042 --> 00:14:16,839 -Which one? -Bloomingdale's. 262 00:14:17,002 --> 00:14:18,560 Very good. Go on. 263 00:14:19,602 --> 00:14:23,993 -And-- Oh, l stole a Piaget watch. -What's that? 264 00:14:24,162 --> 00:14:27,234 And then l was on such a high... 265 00:14:27,402 --> 00:14:30,394 ...that l went upstairs to the salon on the fifth floor... 266 00:14:30,562 --> 00:14:35,682 ...and got a massage and a facial and skipped out on the bill. 267 00:14:41,242 --> 00:14:42,834 Shoplifting. 268 00:14:43,002 --> 00:14:46,392 Well, what about you? You told me that you were engaged. 269 00:14:46,562 --> 00:14:48,075 What was the rest of that? 270 00:14:57,762 --> 00:14:58,990 Excuse me, Mother? 271 00:14:59,402 --> 00:15:01,438 -Sister. -Sister. Right. 272 00:15:01,602 --> 00:15:03,957 Do you know when Father Curtis has office hours? 273 00:15:04,122 --> 00:15:05,350 Well, not until tomorrow. 274 00:15:06,082 --> 00:15:08,312 l really need to speak with him. 275 00:15:33,282 --> 00:15:34,874 You know, that's a kneeler. 276 00:15:41,722 --> 00:15:43,121 Tell me your sins, my son. 277 00:15:43,282 --> 00:15:45,716 Well, l should mention that l'm Jewish. 278 00:15:45,882 --> 00:15:48,476 -Oh, that's no sin. -Oh, good. 279 00:15:50,682 --> 00:15:53,150 Anyway, l wanted to talk to you about Dr. Whatley. 280 00:15:53,322 --> 00:15:54,596 l have a suspicion... 281 00:15:54,762 --> 00:15:58,641 ...that he's converted to Judaism purely for the jokes. 282 00:15:58,802 --> 00:16:01,236 And this offends you as a Jewish person? 283 00:16:01,402 --> 00:16:04,075 No, it offends me as a comedian. 284 00:16:10,642 --> 00:16:15,079 And it'll interest you to know that he's also telling Catholic jokes. 285 00:16:15,242 --> 00:16:18,279 -Well-- -And, l mean, they're old jokes. 286 00:16:18,442 --> 00:16:22,401 l mean, the pope and Raquel Welch in a lifeboat. 287 00:16:22,562 --> 00:16:23,836 l haven't heard that one. 288 00:16:26,682 --> 00:16:29,480 Oh, l'm sure you have. They're out on the ocean... 289 00:16:29,642 --> 00:16:31,633 ...and yada, yada, yada and she-- 290 00:16:31,802 --> 00:16:34,555 And she says, ''Those aren't buoys.'' 291 00:16:40,882 --> 00:16:43,521 -Father. -One second. 292 00:16:46,962 --> 00:16:50,159 Well, if it would make you feel better, l could speak to Dr. Whatley. 293 00:16:50,322 --> 00:16:52,631 l have to go back and have a wisdom tooth removed. 294 00:16:52,802 --> 00:16:54,440 Good luck. You know the difference... 295 00:16:54,602 --> 00:16:57,196 ...between a dentist and a sadist, don't you? 296 00:16:57,362 --> 00:16:59,592 Newer magazines. 297 00:17:03,282 --> 00:17:05,079 That's funny. 298 00:17:05,242 --> 00:17:07,472 Now if you would excuse me. 299 00:17:09,002 --> 00:17:11,232 Jerry, l gotta talk to you. 300 00:17:22,562 --> 00:17:23,631 -Hi. -Hi, Kramer. 301 00:17:24,082 --> 00:17:25,356 Got a minute? 302 00:17:25,922 --> 00:17:29,153 Actually, my parents are over, but would you like to meet them? 303 00:17:29,322 --> 00:17:31,711 -Yeah. -Mom, Dad. 304 00:17:32,482 --> 00:17:33,995 Hi. 305 00:17:42,322 --> 00:17:44,790 Elaine, l have to ask you about something. 306 00:17:44,962 --> 00:17:46,793 -What? -The yada yada. 307 00:17:46,962 --> 00:17:49,681 -Yada yada? -What exactly happened down there? 308 00:17:51,322 --> 00:17:54,917 Well, l don't know. l mean, l talked to him... 309 00:17:55,082 --> 00:18:00,236 ...and blah, blah, blah. He asked about you guys and: 310 00:18:00,402 --> 00:18:03,553 More questions. Blah, blah, blah. 311 00:18:03,722 --> 00:18:04,950 All right. Shut up. 312 00:18:06,042 --> 00:18:08,840 Shut up? Again you are telling me to shut up? 313 00:18:09,002 --> 00:18:10,674 -What? -You yelled at me... 314 00:18:10,842 --> 00:18:12,195 ...that time at the movies. 315 00:18:12,362 --> 00:18:15,160 That's why you're not getting the baby. 316 00:18:16,002 --> 00:18:17,913 And you told that to the adoption guy? 317 00:18:19,202 --> 00:18:21,841 -Slipped out. -Oh, God. 318 00:18:22,002 --> 00:18:23,515 What am l gonna tell Beth? 319 00:18:24,762 --> 00:18:28,357 Well, Arnie, look, l'll go down and talk to this adoption guy... 320 00:18:28,522 --> 00:18:30,638 ...and make sure it all gets straightened out. 321 00:18:30,802 --> 00:18:35,398 -Just don't screw it up this time! -See, again you're yelling. 322 00:18:35,562 --> 00:18:37,951 Not a fan of the yelling. 323 00:18:44,922 --> 00:18:46,241 Are you about done? 324 00:18:46,682 --> 00:18:48,161 Oh, l'm just getting warmed up. 325 00:18:51,082 --> 00:18:54,154 Because l'm just a sadist with newer magazines. 326 00:18:56,682 --> 00:19:00,470 Father Curtis told me your little joke. l really didn't appreciate it. 327 00:19:00,922 --> 00:19:02,878 Well, what about all your Jewish jokes? 328 00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:05,431 l'm Jewish. You're not a dentist. 329 00:19:07,042 --> 00:19:10,432 You have no idea what my people have been through. 330 00:19:12,602 --> 00:19:15,594 -The Jews? -No, the dentists. 331 00:19:16,242 --> 00:19:19,040 You know, we have the highest suicide rate of any profession. 332 00:19:19,522 --> 00:19:21,911 ls that why it's so hard to get an appointment? 333 00:19:25,922 --> 00:19:30,438 So l'll.... l'll see you tonight, huh? Okay. 334 00:19:31,362 --> 00:19:33,876 -Date with Karen? -No, Julie. 335 00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:36,033 -She's the one. -What happened to Karen? 336 00:19:36,202 --> 00:19:39,672 Well, Mickey and her have more in common. Her parents are little people. 337 00:19:39,842 --> 00:19:41,833 Oh, small world. 338 00:19:42,642 --> 00:19:45,440 So little people can have '' non-little-people'' children? 339 00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:47,513 Oh, yeah, and vice versa. 340 00:19:47,682 --> 00:19:50,640 Yeah, Mother Nature's a mad scientist, Jerry. 341 00:19:51,322 --> 00:19:53,517 So you won't believe what happened with Whatley. 342 00:19:53,682 --> 00:19:57,436 lt got back to him that l made this little dentist joke and he got all offended. 343 00:19:57,602 --> 00:20:00,241 Those people can be so touchy. 344 00:20:00,402 --> 00:20:04,839 -''Those people.'' Listen to yourself. -What? 345 00:20:05,002 --> 00:20:07,914 You think that dentists are so different from me and you? 346 00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:12,394 They came to this country just like everybody else in search of a dream. 347 00:20:12,562 --> 00:20:14,951 -Whatley's from Jersey. -Yes, and now... 348 00:20:15,122 --> 00:20:17,238 ...he's a full-fledged American. 349 00:20:17,402 --> 00:20:19,393 Kramer, he's just a dentist. 350 00:20:19,562 --> 00:20:21,871 Yeah, and you're an anti-dentite. 351 00:20:24,762 --> 00:20:26,354 l am not an anti-dentite. 352 00:20:26,522 --> 00:20:28,831 You're a rabid anti-dentite. 353 00:20:30,202 --> 00:20:32,670 Oh, it starts with a few jokes and some slurs: 354 00:20:32,842 --> 00:20:34,639 '' Hey, denty.'' 355 00:20:34,802 --> 00:20:38,158 Next thing you know, you're saying they should have their own schools. 356 00:20:38,322 --> 00:20:41,439 -They do have their own schools. -Yeah, yeah, yeah! 357 00:20:43,602 --> 00:20:48,437 Oh, come on. One little baby, whatever you have in stock. 358 00:20:48,602 --> 00:20:50,797 -Miss Benes, please. -Lookit, lookit, Brian. 359 00:20:51,642 --> 00:20:56,511 These people are getting a baby, period. 360 00:20:56,682 --> 00:21:00,391 Now, we can do this the easy way... 361 00:21:00,562 --> 00:21:04,680 ...or we can do this... 362 00:21:04,842 --> 00:21:06,514 ...the fun way. 363 00:21:16,522 --> 00:21:18,638 l'm sorry to bother you. But you always said... 364 00:21:18,802 --> 00:21:20,633 -...you'd be there for me. -What's wrong? 365 00:21:20,802 --> 00:21:24,033 -l'm thinking of leaving Arnie. -Talk to me. 366 00:21:25,522 --> 00:21:28,320 He met with Elaine, and l asked him what happened. 367 00:21:28,482 --> 00:21:31,235 And he yada yada-ed me. 368 00:21:31,402 --> 00:21:32,915 Could they be having an affair? 369 00:21:33,082 --> 00:21:34,800 l wouldn't put anything past anybody. 370 00:21:34,962 --> 00:21:36,475 But we just got married. 371 00:21:36,642 --> 00:21:38,792 Well, obviously, that was a mistake. 372 00:21:38,962 --> 00:21:43,080 You need to forget about Arnie. The important thing is you're moving on. 373 00:21:43,242 --> 00:21:45,198 Why would Elaine do that to me? 374 00:21:45,362 --> 00:21:48,354 Forget about Elaine. Let's just focus on us. 375 00:21:48,522 --> 00:21:50,433 -Come on, big hug. -Hey, Jerry. 376 00:21:50,602 --> 00:21:52,399 Where's Kramer? l've got exciting news. 377 00:21:52,562 --> 00:21:55,360 -l'm in the middle of something. -Karen and l getting married. 378 00:21:55,522 --> 00:21:58,798 Oh, congratulations. Her marriage just fell apart. 379 00:21:58,962 --> 00:22:01,237 -How many is that for you? -Two. 380 00:22:01,402 --> 00:22:04,360 You're a lightweight. Come on, honey. 381 00:22:11,522 --> 00:22:13,592 This church give you any ideas? 382 00:22:15,682 --> 00:22:16,956 -Hey, Jerry. -Hey. 383 00:22:20,202 --> 00:22:22,033 What are you doing here with Beth? 384 00:22:22,482 --> 00:22:23,995 Beth and Arnie broke up. 385 00:22:24,522 --> 00:22:26,274 So they don't want a baby? 386 00:22:35,562 --> 00:22:38,793 l think l'm gonna be sick. 387 00:22:42,602 --> 00:22:44,399 Hey, where's Marcy? 388 00:22:44,962 --> 00:22:49,433 She went shopping for some shoes for the wedding... 389 00:22:49,602 --> 00:22:53,197 ...and yada, yada, yada, l'll see her in six to eight months. 390 00:22:58,122 --> 00:23:01,114 -Hey, Kramer, over here. -l'd just as soon not sit next to you. 391 00:23:01,842 --> 00:23:03,639 Kramer. 392 00:23:09,562 --> 00:23:13,157 -Look, there's Mickey and his parents. -Oh, a nice-looking family. 393 00:23:13,322 --> 00:23:14,801 Very handsome. 394 00:23:15,402 --> 00:23:17,279 How you doing? 395 00:23:17,442 --> 00:23:19,194 Hey, Kramer. 396 00:23:26,722 --> 00:23:28,678 You must be so proud. 397 00:23:28,842 --> 00:23:31,117 We never thought he'd settle down. 398 00:23:31,322 --> 00:23:33,153 Well, not again. 399 00:23:35,282 --> 00:23:39,355 Oh, Mickey. Excuse me. l can't take this. 400 00:23:45,362 --> 00:23:47,592 Hi, Mr. Abbott. 401 00:23:48,522 --> 00:23:51,673 That's Dr. Abbott, D.D.S. 402 00:23:51,842 --> 00:23:54,310 Tim Whatley was one of my students. 403 00:23:54,482 --> 00:23:56,791 And if this wasn't my son's wedding day... 404 00:23:56,962 --> 00:24:01,274 ...l'd knock your teeth out, you anti-dentite bastard. 405 00:24:02,842 --> 00:24:04,673 What was that all about? 406 00:24:04,842 --> 00:24:08,596 Oh, l said something about dentists, and it got blown all out of proportion. 407 00:24:09,082 --> 00:24:12,472 Hey, what do you call a doctor who fails out of med school? 408 00:24:12,642 --> 00:24:15,202 -What? -A dentist. 409 00:24:15,802 --> 00:24:17,872 -That's a good one. -Yeah. 410 00:24:18,042 --> 00:24:20,681 -Dentists. -Yeah, who needs them? 411 00:24:20,842 --> 00:24:22,719 Not to mention the blacks and the Jews. 412 00:24:39,202 --> 00:24:42,831 -Where's Beth? -She ran out to get her head shaved. 413 00:24:43,442 --> 00:24:46,115 We are gathered here today to unite this couple... 414 00:24:46,282 --> 00:24:49,718 ...in the bonds of holy matrimony. 415 00:24:50,202 --> 00:24:52,557 Those wisdom teeth are tough to get out. 416 00:24:52,722 --> 00:24:56,874 Marriage is not an institution to be entered into lightly. 417 00:24:57,042 --> 00:25:00,239 Yada, yada, yada. l pronounce you man and wife. 418 00:25:13,282 --> 00:25:15,671 l really wanted you.