1 00:00:05,670 --> 00:00:07,262 What is Holland? 2 00:00:11,190 --> 00:00:14,500 What do you mean, what is it? It's a country right next to Belgium. 3 00:00:14,670 --> 00:00:15,819 No, that's the Netherlands. 4 00:00:15,990 --> 00:00:17,742 Holland is the Netherlands. 5 00:00:18,190 --> 00:00:19,942 Then who are the Dutch? 6 00:00:20,710 --> 00:00:22,860 You know, I cannot stand this thing anymore. 7 00:00:23,350 --> 00:00:26,740 I know, I hate it too. I feel like an out-of-work porn star. 8 00:00:28,390 --> 00:00:30,221 We should have taken some kind of vacation. 9 00:00:30,390 --> 00:00:32,858 - Well, why didn't we? - You said this would be better. 10 00:00:33,030 --> 00:00:34,019 Remember? 11 00:00:34,190 --> 00:00:35,509 "A vacation from ourselves." 12 00:00:35,670 --> 00:00:37,388 That's what you said. 13 00:00:38,230 --> 00:00:39,583 What if we grew mutton chops? 14 00:00:39,750 --> 00:00:41,149 - No. - Buzz cuts? 15 00:00:41,310 --> 00:00:43,426 - Parachute pants? - Stop it, George. Stop it. 16 00:00:43,590 --> 00:00:44,579 I'm sorry. 17 00:00:44,750 --> 00:00:46,308 You've gotta get a job. 18 00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:49,579 Damn it. 19 00:00:55,510 --> 00:00:57,068 Hey, hey, hey. 20 00:00:57,230 --> 00:00:58,583 Check me out. 21 00:00:58,750 --> 00:01:00,468 No more crutches. That must be a relief. 22 00:01:00,630 --> 00:01:02,860 Yeah. With crutches, everyone has questions. 23 00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:05,419 - Not with a cane? - No, with crutches, it's a funny story. 24 00:01:05,590 --> 00:01:08,707 With a cane, it's a sad story. You through with those? 25 00:01:09,190 --> 00:01:11,260 That is a sad story. 26 00:01:11,430 --> 00:01:13,898 You should've been here. Some guy from NBC saw my set... 27 00:01:14,070 --> 00:01:15,423 ...he wants me to do a showcase. 28 00:01:15,590 --> 00:01:17,182 I might have another shot at a pilot. 29 00:01:17,350 --> 00:01:20,069 All right. We're back in. 30 00:01:20,230 --> 00:01:21,868 We? No. 31 00:01:22,030 --> 00:01:23,827 Ladies and gentlemen, Kenny Bania. 32 00:01:23,990 --> 00:01:26,299 Thank you. Thank you. 33 00:01:26,470 --> 00:01:28,301 Hey, Jerry, did you see me up there? 34 00:01:28,470 --> 00:01:30,825 I was killing, Jerry. Killing. I killed. 35 00:01:30,990 --> 00:01:32,946 - Killed? - Killed. 36 00:01:33,430 --> 00:01:35,386 I'm gonna go pick up some chicks. 37 00:01:35,710 --> 00:01:37,268 Good-looking ones too. 38 00:01:37,990 --> 00:01:39,742 Hey, what's your name? 39 00:01:40,670 --> 00:01:41,898 Yeah, he killed. 40 00:01:42,070 --> 00:01:44,459 Because I killed first and warmed up the crowd. 41 00:01:44,630 --> 00:01:47,019 He's like that fish that attaches himself to the shark. 42 00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:49,101 - And you're the shark? - Yeah. I'm the shark. 43 00:01:49,270 --> 00:01:51,738 And he's the fish eating my laughs. 44 00:01:51,910 --> 00:01:54,026 I don't know how a fish could eat laughs. 45 00:01:54,190 --> 00:01:55,987 Well, I'm glad I brought it up. 46 00:02:03,550 --> 00:02:04,949 You got any shredded coconut? 47 00:02:05,110 --> 00:02:06,702 We're not doing that anymore. 48 00:02:10,470 --> 00:02:12,267 - Oh, my God. - What? 49 00:02:12,430 --> 00:02:13,829 I got a job interview. 50 00:02:13,990 --> 00:02:15,787 They wanna see me this afternoon. 51 00:02:15,950 --> 00:02:18,623 - So, what's this job? - Oh, it's beautiful. It's in sports. 52 00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:21,258 - Knicks? Rangers? - Playground equipment. 53 00:02:21,430 --> 00:02:22,658 Welcome back to the show. 54 00:02:27,510 --> 00:02:29,387 - Yeah, this is better. - Yeah. 55 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:31,142 - So you got any shredded coconut? - No. 56 00:02:31,310 --> 00:02:32,902 I gotta hobble. 57 00:02:41,390 --> 00:02:44,268 I gotta switch shaving creams. I'm getting no protection. 58 00:02:44,430 --> 00:02:46,386 - What kind do you use? - Whatever you get. 59 00:02:48,270 --> 00:02:50,386 Look. Post card from Elaine from Europe. 60 00:02:50,830 --> 00:02:53,390 Don't tell me she's dragging another poor guy across Europe. 61 00:02:53,550 --> 00:02:54,539 Remember David Puddy? 62 00:02:54,710 --> 00:02:58,225 Oh, the face- painting auto mechanic. So she's dating him again, huh? 63 00:02:58,390 --> 00:03:01,780 Well, I guess she's batted around and she's back at the top of the order. 64 00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:05,427 Boy, a month in Europe with Elaine. 65 00:03:05,590 --> 00:03:08,263 That guy's coming home in a body bag. 66 00:03:11,910 --> 00:03:15,186 Well, let's see, I've got a 10 kroner, a 5 kroner... 67 00:03:15,350 --> 00:03:18,148 ...a 20 kroner. No, wait. 68 00:03:18,510 --> 00:03:20,626 That's another 10 kroner. 69 00:03:21,590 --> 00:03:22,705 Femti kroner. 70 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:24,940 How much is that? 71 00:03:25,550 --> 00:03:26,619 We have to break up. 72 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:29,020 - What? - I can't take this anymore. 73 00:03:29,190 --> 00:03:33,103 I don't wanna hear how interesting the change with the hole in it is. 74 00:03:34,390 --> 00:03:37,587 And tell me what time it is in New York, you are going home in a body bag. 75 00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:41,345 Well, what do you think the Gap in Rome has that's not on Broadway? 76 00:03:41,510 --> 00:03:42,545 Okay, all right, listen. 77 00:03:42,710 --> 00:03:44,621 Forget about the Gap because we are through. 78 00:03:44,790 --> 00:03:45,984 - Fine. - Fine. 79 00:03:46,150 --> 00:03:48,539 Okay, Terminal 3. Have a nice flight. 80 00:03:50,150 --> 00:03:52,505 Ladies and gent/emen, our f/ight time with stopovers... 81 00:03:52,670 --> 00:03:55,423 ... wi// be approximate/y 22 hours. 82 00:03:57,430 --> 00:04:01,184 Hey. You gonna bust out that drink cart or what? 83 00:04:04,510 --> 00:04:05,738 Hey, what are you doing? 84 00:04:05,910 --> 00:04:08,947 Taking this lace out. It came undone, touched the floor of a men's room. 85 00:04:09,110 --> 00:04:11,180 That's the end of that. 86 00:04:11,950 --> 00:04:13,588 Did you see Bania's set last night? 87 00:04:13,750 --> 00:04:15,342 I read on the Internet he killed. 88 00:04:16,550 --> 00:04:17,585 He killed. 89 00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:19,706 He only does well when he has me for a lead-in. 90 00:04:19,870 --> 00:04:21,223 He's a time- slot hit. 91 00:04:21,390 --> 00:04:23,984 Jerry, you gotta give him some credit. 92 00:04:24,150 --> 00:04:26,345 I mean, you're just being totally ridiculous. 93 00:04:27,830 --> 00:04:29,502 I'll see you later, buddy. 94 00:04:31,470 --> 00:04:35,509 - Wait, wait, wait a minute. - What? What? What? 95 00:04:35,670 --> 00:04:38,025 Do I have to ask? 96 00:04:39,190 --> 00:04:42,546 Well, I ran out of butter, so I had to borrow yours. 97 00:04:42,710 --> 00:04:45,543 Anything else, Mr. Nosy? 98 00:04:48,550 --> 00:04:51,189 Why are you buttering your face? 99 00:04:51,350 --> 00:04:52,783 I'm shaving with it. 100 00:04:52,950 --> 00:04:55,100 Oh, Moses, smell the roses. 101 00:04:55,270 --> 00:04:58,660 Look, Jerry, it's vastly superior to any commercial shaving cream. 102 00:04:58,830 --> 00:05:00,468 I mean, the shave is close and clean... 103 00:05:00,670 --> 00:05:03,662 ...and the natural emollients keep my skin silky smooth. 104 00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:04,859 - Feel my face. - No. 105 00:05:05,030 --> 00:05:06,861 - No, feel it. - I don't want to. 106 00:05:07,030 --> 00:05:09,260 Feel it. 107 00:05:09,430 --> 00:05:10,545 That is close. 108 00:05:17,830 --> 00:05:18,979 I got the job? 109 00:05:19,150 --> 00:05:22,062 George, everybody here at Play Now is just very impressed with you... 110 00:05:22,230 --> 00:05:24,141 ...but I'm sure you've heard that before. 111 00:05:24,510 --> 00:05:25,989 Well... 112 00:05:26,550 --> 00:05:28,381 ...no. 113 00:05:28,550 --> 00:05:30,859 Don't think anyone's gonna treat you differently... 114 00:05:31,030 --> 00:05:32,861 ...just because of your... 115 00:05:33,030 --> 00:05:34,224 Handicap. 116 00:05:34,390 --> 00:05:36,858 Handicap? Oh, I'm not handicapped. 117 00:05:37,030 --> 00:05:38,019 I'm sorry. 118 00:05:38,470 --> 00:05:40,461 Differently... 119 00:05:41,110 --> 00:05:42,145 Advantaged. 120 00:05:42,310 --> 00:05:43,504 See, I didn't mean that. 121 00:05:43,670 --> 00:05:47,822 Of course, you will have your own private, fully-equipped bathroom. 122 00:05:52,230 --> 00:05:53,902 When do I start? 123 00:05:54,070 --> 00:05:56,220 Well, whenever you feel that you're able. 124 00:05:57,270 --> 00:05:59,147 You need a hand here? 125 00:06:00,470 --> 00:06:02,108 Yeah, what the hell. 126 00:06:04,470 --> 00:06:07,348 - You got the job? - Jerry, it's fantastic. 127 00:06:07,510 --> 00:06:09,262 I love the people. They treat me so great. 128 00:06:09,430 --> 00:06:10,704 They think I'm handicapped. 129 00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:13,179 They gave me this incredible office, a great view. 130 00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:15,580 - They think you're handicapped? - Yeah, yeah. 131 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:16,865 Yeah, because of the cane. 132 00:06:17,030 --> 00:06:19,339 You should see the bathroom they gave me. 133 00:06:19,510 --> 00:06:21,068 How can you do this? 134 00:06:21,750 --> 00:06:23,900 Jerry, let's face it. I've always been handicapped. 135 00:06:24,070 --> 00:06:26,061 I'm just now getting the recognition for it. 136 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:30,621 Name one thing I have that puts me in a position of advantage. 137 00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:33,099 There was a guy that worked at the Yankees, no arms. 138 00:06:33,270 --> 00:06:35,659 He got more work done than I did. Made more money. 139 00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:37,661 He had a wife, a family. 140 00:06:37,830 --> 00:06:39,263 Drove a better car than I did. 141 00:06:39,430 --> 00:06:41,898 He drove a car with no arms? 142 00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:45,268 All right, I made up the part about the car, but the rest is true. 143 00:06:45,430 --> 00:06:47,341 And he hated me anyway. 144 00:06:47,510 --> 00:06:50,820 Do you know how hard it's getting just to tell people I know you? 145 00:06:50,990 --> 00:06:52,389 I love that bathroom. 146 00:06:52,550 --> 00:06:53,699 It's got that high toilet. 147 00:06:53,870 --> 00:06:57,101 I feel like a gargoyle perched on the ledge of a building. 148 00:06:57,870 --> 00:07:00,543 Hey. They hooked me up. 149 00:07:00,710 --> 00:07:01,984 What's with all the butter? 150 00:07:02,150 --> 00:07:03,947 I'm shaving with it. And you know what? 151 00:07:04,110 --> 00:07:05,099 You can eat it? 152 00:07:05,430 --> 00:07:06,545 No. 153 00:07:06,710 --> 00:07:09,508 My face feels so good, I'm gonna use it all over my body. 154 00:07:12,790 --> 00:07:15,020 Oh, my God. It's Bania and Jenna. 155 00:07:15,190 --> 00:07:17,101 - Who? - The toothbrush in the toilet bowl. 156 00:07:18,390 --> 00:07:19,709 Hey, Jerry. 157 00:07:19,870 --> 00:07:20,905 This is Jenna. 158 00:07:21,070 --> 00:07:22,549 Pretty good-looking, huh? 159 00:07:24,070 --> 00:07:27,028 Jerry is the guy that I dated right before you. 160 00:07:27,190 --> 00:07:28,259 This is awkward. 161 00:07:29,070 --> 00:07:30,185 Don't worry, Kenny. 162 00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:32,944 After dating Jerry, you're a pleasure. 163 00:07:34,990 --> 00:07:37,424 - I don't believe this. - You miss her, don't you? 164 00:07:37,590 --> 00:07:41,265 No. He's riding my coattails again. He's getting everything off of me. 165 00:07:41,430 --> 00:07:43,261 First laughs. Now ladies. 166 00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:44,385 You miss her. 167 00:07:48,950 --> 00:07:51,987 You know, I think, ultimately, I'm upset with myself. 168 00:07:52,150 --> 00:07:55,825 I knew what I was getting into. She's a bitter, unstable person. 169 00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:57,784 I mean, the sex was good. 170 00:07:57,950 --> 00:08:00,259 Which I'm sure was fine for her... 171 00:08:00,430 --> 00:08:01,419 ...but I need more. 172 00:08:02,070 --> 00:08:04,106 Hey, you believing this? 173 00:08:04,270 --> 00:08:06,386 Excuse me, I was sleeping. 174 00:08:06,550 --> 00:08:09,986 Well, you missed quite a performance. 175 00:08:11,190 --> 00:08:12,259 That's my apple juice. 176 00:08:52,630 --> 00:08:54,507 Someone's cooking. 177 00:08:56,910 --> 00:08:58,389 Hello, Jerry. 178 00:08:58,950 --> 00:09:01,100 Hello, Newman. 179 00:09:01,590 --> 00:09:03,421 You know, old friend... 180 00:09:03,590 --> 00:09:07,265 ...sometimes I ponder this silly gulf between us... 181 00:09:07,430 --> 00:09:09,466 ...and I say, why? 182 00:09:09,670 --> 00:09:11,342 Are we really so different? 183 00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:13,899 - For what is broth... - I'm not the one doing the cooking. 184 00:09:14,390 --> 00:09:16,506 Damn you, Seinfeld. 185 00:09:17,310 --> 00:09:19,983 You useless pustule. 186 00:09:20,790 --> 00:09:23,304 Somebody's got something on the griddle. Maybe it's Kramer. 187 00:09:23,470 --> 00:09:26,542 No, he's up on the roof getting some sun with the butter. 188 00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:29,261 Oh, no. 189 00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:32,149 Butter? 190 00:09:32,910 --> 00:09:35,026 This is the femti kroner. 191 00:09:35,430 --> 00:09:39,662 You know, my last boyfriend, he had a real kroner comprehension problem. 192 00:09:40,030 --> 00:09:41,065 You know what I mean? 193 00:09:41,230 --> 00:09:43,221 A real cement head. 194 00:09:44,510 --> 00:09:46,865 - David, you are so funny. - Yeah, I know. 195 00:09:47,750 --> 00:09:48,785 What are you doing? 196 00:09:48,950 --> 00:09:51,305 It's a long flight. I had to get on with my life. 197 00:09:51,470 --> 00:09:53,745 By making time with some floozy across the aisle? 198 00:09:53,910 --> 00:09:54,979 Yeah, that's right. 199 00:09:55,150 --> 00:09:57,027 What's going on over there with you and... 200 00:09:57,190 --> 00:09:58,464 ...Vegetable Lasagne? 201 00:09:58,630 --> 00:10:01,303 This guy? Oh, he's an idiot. He doesn't mean anything to me. 202 00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:03,267 I can hear you. 203 00:10:04,150 --> 00:10:07,028 She doesn't either. If it were up to me, we'd still be together. 204 00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:08,942 - Well, maybe I feel the same way. - Okay. 205 00:10:09,110 --> 00:10:11,260 - Okay. So now what? - Let's make out. 206 00:10:13,390 --> 00:10:15,301 - Kramer. - What? 207 00:10:16,150 --> 00:10:17,424 Oh, man. 208 00:10:17,790 --> 00:10:20,145 I think I cooked myself. 209 00:10:20,310 --> 00:10:21,584 Look at your skin. 210 00:10:21,750 --> 00:10:24,947 Oh, stick a fork in me, Jerry. 211 00:10:25,150 --> 00:10:27,027 I'm done. 212 00:10:37,910 --> 00:10:39,309 I'm fried. 213 00:10:39,470 --> 00:10:42,701 Technically, you're sautéed. So, what are you doing for that? 214 00:10:42,870 --> 00:10:45,384 Well, I just gotta keep my skin moist so I don't dry out. 215 00:10:45,550 --> 00:10:50,066 - Is that what the doctor said? - No, I read an article in Bon Appétit. 216 00:10:50,230 --> 00:10:51,549 - See you. - See you. 217 00:10:51,710 --> 00:10:53,382 - Hey, how you doing? - Hey, buddy. 218 00:10:55,830 --> 00:10:57,741 - Game hen? - Kind of. 219 00:10:58,230 --> 00:11:00,300 Nice limp. You bringing your work home with you? 220 00:11:00,470 --> 00:11:02,301 No, I fake limp on my right. 221 00:11:02,470 --> 00:11:05,109 This is a real limp because I sprained my ankle. 222 00:11:05,270 --> 00:11:06,385 What happened? 223 00:11:06,550 --> 00:11:09,701 Well, I was buttering myself up for a nice shave. 224 00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:11,667 Oh, not you too. 225 00:11:11,830 --> 00:11:14,390 I must have dripped some on the floor and I slipped and... 226 00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:16,905 You know what's good for that? Relish. 227 00:11:20,270 --> 00:11:21,259 Hello? 228 00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:22,988 Yeah, this is Jerry Seinfeld. 229 00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:24,265 What? 230 00:11:24,430 --> 00:11:25,419 No. 231 00:11:25,590 --> 00:11:26,545 No. 232 00:11:26,710 --> 00:11:28,780 No, no, no! 233 00:11:28,990 --> 00:11:30,025 Thank you. 234 00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:32,025 I don't believe this. 235 00:11:32,190 --> 00:11:35,421 They've added Bania to the showcase and he's going on right after me. 236 00:11:35,590 --> 00:11:37,820 Well, so what? He's got a couple of good jokes. 237 00:11:37,990 --> 00:11:39,662 Oh, like what? Ovaltine? 238 00:11:39,830 --> 00:11:42,139 Why do dogs drink out of the toilet? 239 00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:44,699 Shopping carts with one bad wheel? 240 00:11:45,390 --> 00:11:47,824 That's true. That always happens to me. 241 00:11:48,430 --> 00:11:49,704 You think that's funny? 242 00:11:49,870 --> 00:11:52,589 I don't know. I like stuff you don't have to think about much. 243 00:11:52,750 --> 00:11:54,069 You like Bania's act. 244 00:11:54,230 --> 00:11:55,788 You're a closet Bania fan. 245 00:11:55,950 --> 00:11:58,510 - Maybe I am. - Oh, I'm gonna puke. 246 00:11:58,670 --> 00:12:01,343 Puke? That's a funny word. Puke. 247 00:12:02,870 --> 00:12:04,144 Puke. 248 00:12:05,390 --> 00:12:07,779 You don't have to think about that. 249 00:12:08,870 --> 00:12:11,623 I can't believe we broke up like that. 250 00:12:11,790 --> 00:12:13,940 It was stupid. 251 00:12:26,390 --> 00:12:28,950 - You want something to read? - No, I'm good. 252 00:12:33,310 --> 00:12:36,268 - Well, are you gonna take a nap or? - No. 253 00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:40,868 You're just gonna sit there staring at the back of the seat? 254 00:12:41,030 --> 00:12:42,668 Yeah. 255 00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:55,943 That's it. I cannot take this. 256 00:12:56,110 --> 00:12:57,907 I mean, look at this. Nothing has changed. 257 00:12:58,070 --> 00:12:59,469 We've been together two hours... 258 00:12:59,630 --> 00:13:02,019 ...we're having the same problems we had 12 hours ago. 259 00:13:02,190 --> 00:13:04,750 Oh, tell me about it. I don't know why I ever took you back. 260 00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:06,741 Oh, please. I took you back. 261 00:13:06,910 --> 00:13:10,425 You know it. I know it. Vegetable Lasagne here knows it. 262 00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,899 Please, please. I don't want to get involved. 263 00:13:13,430 --> 00:13:17,105 I hope a giant mountain rises out of the ocean and we ram right into it... 264 00:13:17,270 --> 00:13:18,669 ...and end this whole thing. 265 00:13:18,830 --> 00:13:20,388 Oh, God. 266 00:13:31,830 --> 00:13:33,900 How much longer you gonna be? I'm starving here. 267 00:13:34,070 --> 00:13:35,662 Just a few more squirts... 268 00:13:35,830 --> 00:13:37,741 ...because I gotta stay juicy. 269 00:13:37,910 --> 00:13:39,946 That smell. 270 00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:42,783 - It's still with you, huh? - Oh, yeah, it's baked on in. 271 00:13:42,950 --> 00:13:44,269 Put another stick of butter in. 272 00:13:44,430 --> 00:13:46,068 - Yeah. Yeah. - Would you? 273 00:13:46,230 --> 00:13:49,461 Yeah. Stir it up so it'll melt. 274 00:13:52,150 --> 00:13:53,868 Oh, yeah. 275 00:13:54,190 --> 00:13:55,259 That feels good. 276 00:13:58,950 --> 00:14:00,588 Yeah, now I'm simmering. 277 00:14:01,870 --> 00:14:04,623 I'll meet you at the coffee shop. 278 00:14:05,270 --> 00:14:07,500 - Good morning, George. - Good morning, sir. 279 00:14:07,670 --> 00:14:09,626 Is there something wrong with your other leg? 280 00:14:09,790 --> 00:14:12,224 What? No, no. Just the old handicap acting up. 281 00:14:12,390 --> 00:14:15,188 But your cane's on the wrong side. 282 00:14:15,350 --> 00:14:16,829 Oh, well. That's... 283 00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:19,828 That's just because we're standing on opposite sides. 284 00:14:20,630 --> 00:14:22,427 Yeah, see, when we met... 285 00:14:22,590 --> 00:14:24,740 ...I was over there and you were over here... 286 00:14:24,910 --> 00:14:29,108 ...so the image was reversed. Like in a mirror. You see? 287 00:14:30,350 --> 00:14:33,387 See, this looks right to you, doesn't it? 288 00:14:33,910 --> 00:14:35,059 Yeah, I guess. 289 00:14:35,230 --> 00:14:36,948 But, see, here. 290 00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:38,429 Right. 291 00:14:38,590 --> 00:14:39,739 Wrong. 292 00:14:39,910 --> 00:14:41,263 Right. 293 00:14:41,430 --> 00:14:42,909 Wrong. Right. 294 00:14:43,070 --> 00:14:46,858 - Right. Wrong. - Will you stop it, George? Just stop it. 295 00:14:47,030 --> 00:14:49,908 I think I can see what's going on here. 296 00:14:59,070 --> 00:15:01,664 Well, you're not gonna believe what happened. 297 00:15:08,510 --> 00:15:09,989 You mugged Steven Hawking? 298 00:15:11,350 --> 00:15:14,148 Play Now thinks I got problems in both legs. 299 00:15:14,310 --> 00:15:16,585 My own personal Rascal, Jerry. 300 00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,502 On the house. 301 00:15:21,990 --> 00:15:24,379 It must comforting to know you'll be going to hell... 302 00:15:24,550 --> 00:15:26,302 ...at no more than three miles an hour. 303 00:15:28,830 --> 00:15:29,899 - Hello? - Jerry. 304 00:15:30,070 --> 00:15:31,583 Hey, Laney. How's the trip going? 305 00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:32,785 Oh, it's awfu/. 306 00:15:33,190 --> 00:15:36,068 This trip was a huge mistake. 307 00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:37,259 Huge. 308 00:15:37,430 --> 00:15:40,945 - Please stop shouting. I can't take it. - Who's that? 309 00:15:41,110 --> 00:15:43,180 - It's Vegetable Lasagne. - Who? 310 00:15:43,350 --> 00:15:45,261 Vegetable Lasagne. 311 00:15:45,430 --> 00:15:46,704 My name is Magnus. 312 00:15:46,870 --> 00:15:49,703 Shut up or I'// snap you in ha/f and stuff you in the overhead. 313 00:15:49,870 --> 00:15:52,623 Get me some duty-free Kahlúa. 314 00:15:53,030 --> 00:15:55,419 - How was the trip? - Sounded good. 315 00:15:55,590 --> 00:15:57,342 Well, gotta motor. 316 00:15:57,510 --> 00:16:00,468 If you got juice left, you might wanna roll by the showcase tonight. 317 00:16:01,030 --> 00:16:02,941 You're still going on in front of Bania, huh? 318 00:16:03,110 --> 00:16:06,341 That's right. And I'll tell you what, I'm feeling a little off. 319 00:16:06,510 --> 00:16:07,738 What are you talking about? 320 00:16:09,390 --> 00:16:11,142 - You're not. - That's right. 321 00:16:11,310 --> 00:16:12,425 I'm taking a dive. 322 00:16:12,590 --> 00:16:14,501 - You're throwing the set? - I'm laying down. 323 00:16:14,670 --> 00:16:19,061 Then we'll see how he does, up there, without all the assistance. 324 00:16:20,030 --> 00:16:22,066 Listen, Jerry, with all due respect... 325 00:16:22,230 --> 00:16:24,824 ...Bania's voice is the voice of a new generation. 326 00:16:24,990 --> 00:16:26,184 My generation. 327 00:16:26,350 --> 00:16:29,023 - We're four months apart. - Nevertheless. 328 00:16:29,910 --> 00:16:32,105 His time has come. 329 00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:36,549 Now, if you will kindly help me unwedge my front wheel... 330 00:16:36,710 --> 00:16:37,825 ...l'll be on my way. 331 00:16:46,590 --> 00:16:47,784 Butter. 332 00:16:47,950 --> 00:16:49,303 Kramer. 333 00:16:49,750 --> 00:16:52,389 Butter. Kramer. 334 00:17:01,470 --> 00:17:03,381 Hey, buddy. 335 00:17:07,670 --> 00:17:09,023 Jerry, what are you doing? 336 00:17:09,190 --> 00:17:11,624 George tells me you're gonna throw your set? 337 00:17:11,790 --> 00:17:13,064 That's right, Choochie. 338 00:17:13,230 --> 00:17:15,460 Let's see how Bania does without the cushy time slot. 339 00:17:15,630 --> 00:17:17,985 Ladies and gentlemen, Jerry Seinfeld. 340 00:17:18,150 --> 00:17:19,503 You'll excuse me. 341 00:17:19,670 --> 00:17:21,467 Whoa, man. 342 00:17:24,590 --> 00:17:27,502 Hey, everybody, who's ready to laugh? 343 00:17:29,230 --> 00:17:31,983 And what's the deal with lamp shades? 344 00:17:32,150 --> 00:17:33,708 I mean, if it's a lamp... 345 00:17:33,870 --> 00:17:35,303 ...why do you want shade? 346 00:17:39,110 --> 00:17:40,907 And what's with people getting sick? 347 00:17:41,070 --> 00:17:42,628 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 348 00:17:43,670 --> 00:17:45,501 I mean, what's the deal with cancer? 349 00:17:45,670 --> 00:17:47,023 I have cancer. 350 00:17:48,510 --> 00:17:50,228 Tough crowd. 351 00:17:54,190 --> 00:17:56,101 Hey. Hey. 352 00:17:56,470 --> 00:17:58,461 You dented my ride. 353 00:17:59,510 --> 00:18:02,547 What you got there, the four volt? 354 00:18:02,950 --> 00:18:03,939 I did you a favour. 355 00:18:04,110 --> 00:18:06,670 How about I do you a favour upside your head? 356 00:18:08,230 --> 00:18:10,790 - Oh, yeah? - Oh, yeah. 357 00:18:14,150 --> 00:18:15,424 Hey. 358 00:18:16,550 --> 00:18:18,859 Get the bikes. 359 00:18:22,830 --> 00:18:24,502 Ouch. 360 00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:26,228 Well, that wasn't so bad. 361 00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:28,308 What are you talking about? I bombed. 362 00:18:28,470 --> 00:18:30,222 No, you had some good stuff. 363 00:18:30,390 --> 00:18:31,823 The cancer bit. 364 00:18:33,270 --> 00:18:34,783 It was edgy. It was not my thing. 365 00:18:34,950 --> 00:18:36,747 But some of those people, they liked it. 366 00:18:36,910 --> 00:18:39,629 - Like who? - Well, that guy who yelled out. 367 00:18:39,790 --> 00:18:41,189 He had cancer. 368 00:18:41,350 --> 00:18:43,784 And laughter is the best medicine. 369 00:18:44,950 --> 00:18:46,178 Hey, sorry, Kenny. 370 00:18:46,350 --> 00:18:47,988 Guess you got your work cut out for you. 371 00:18:48,150 --> 00:18:50,539 Ladies and gentlemen, Kenny Bania. 372 00:18:52,350 --> 00:18:53,385 Where were you? 373 00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:55,142 Jerry, he could have used your laugh. 374 00:18:55,310 --> 00:18:56,948 He was a big turkey up there. 375 00:18:57,110 --> 00:18:58,179 Turkey? 376 00:18:58,350 --> 00:19:00,466 A big, fat turkey. 377 00:19:00,630 --> 00:19:02,029 I'm sorry I missed that. 378 00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:05,784 I'll tell you, he worked so hard and then he just blows... 379 00:19:07,670 --> 00:19:09,069 What is this? Oregano? 380 00:19:13,350 --> 00:19:14,339 Look at me. 381 00:19:14,510 --> 00:19:16,660 I'm all covered in oregano and parmesan... 382 00:19:16,830 --> 00:19:18,866 ...and it's sticking because of the butter. 383 00:19:20,750 --> 00:19:21,865 Look at me. 384 00:19:24,470 --> 00:19:25,539 Hold this. 385 00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:27,662 What is this? Parsley? 386 00:19:30,390 --> 00:19:32,460 The sweet stench of failure. 387 00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:35,747 He bit me. Get off of me. 388 00:19:36,190 --> 00:19:37,589 Get off me. 389 00:19:49,270 --> 00:19:50,908 Come on. 390 00:19:51,830 --> 00:19:54,708 That stupid two-hour battery. 391 00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:56,389 Now I've got you. 392 00:20:01,670 --> 00:20:02,705 George? 393 00:20:03,190 --> 00:20:04,464 Your legs. 394 00:20:08,550 --> 00:20:10,506 Are you a religious man, sir? 395 00:20:10,670 --> 00:20:11,819 No. 396 00:20:15,030 --> 00:20:16,463 - Eat hickory. - No. 397 00:20:19,990 --> 00:20:21,708 Hey, Jerry. Did you see it? 398 00:20:21,870 --> 00:20:23,588 Ouch. 399 00:20:24,350 --> 00:20:26,227 Kenny, there you are. 400 00:20:26,390 --> 00:20:29,188 Jay Chermack and Stu Crespi from NBC. 401 00:20:29,350 --> 00:20:32,626 - Listen, Kenny, really funny out there. - What? 402 00:20:32,790 --> 00:20:34,906 That thing you did, the two guys running through? 403 00:20:35,070 --> 00:20:37,061 I love stuff you don't have to think about. 404 00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:39,019 Give us a call. 405 00:20:39,190 --> 00:20:41,750 We wanna be in the Kenny Bania business. 406 00:20:41,910 --> 00:20:43,980 By the way, Jerry, the suspenders... 407 00:20:44,150 --> 00:20:45,503 ...a little hackey. 408 00:20:47,750 --> 00:20:48,819 How about that, Jerry? 409 00:20:48,990 --> 00:20:51,424 First you had a pilot on NBC and now I'll have one. 410 00:20:51,590 --> 00:20:53,262 Looks like I'm following you again. 411 00:20:53,430 --> 00:20:54,988 Oh, I'm gonna puke. 412 00:20:55,150 --> 00:20:57,027 Puke? That's a funny word. 413 00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:59,182 Can I use that? 414 00:21:09,830 --> 00:21:11,821 This has been the worst month of my life... 415 00:21:11,990 --> 00:21:14,060 ...and if I never see you again it'll be too soon. 416 00:21:14,230 --> 00:21:15,219 Ditto. 417 00:21:15,390 --> 00:21:17,950 - Oh, that's original. - Go to hell. 418 00:21:21,390 --> 00:21:22,789 86th and Broadway, please. 419 00:21:23,270 --> 00:21:25,147 I'm sorry, lady, there's a cab shortage. 420 00:21:25,310 --> 00:21:27,778 The transit police are making everyone share. 421 00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:31,664 Oh, no. 422 00:21:33,070 --> 00:21:34,389 Hello. 423 00:21:34,550 --> 00:21:35,619 Oh, no. 424 00:21:35,790 --> 00:21:37,428 I'm sorry. 425 00:21:37,590 --> 00:21:38,864 Oh, no. 426 00:21:39,910 --> 00:21:43,027 No!