1 00:00:10,774 --> 00:00:12,844 So, Elaine, are you gonna sleep with me or what? 2 00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:15,926 George, I just got off a 23-hour plane ride. 3 00:00:16,094 --> 00:00:19,166 I'm too tired to even vomit at the thought. 4 00:00:19,334 --> 00:00:21,643 Fine. I'll ask you again when you're rested. 5 00:00:21,814 --> 00:00:23,042 I'm sure she'll come around. 6 00:00:23,214 --> 00:00:25,330 Yeah, I hope so, for your sake. 7 00:00:25,494 --> 00:00:26,722 I said I was sorry. 8 00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:28,646 You can stuff your sorries in a sack. 9 00:00:28,814 --> 00:00:30,850 Would you please stop saying that? 10 00:00:31,014 --> 00:00:33,403 - What's up with you two? - I don't wanna talk about it. 11 00:00:33,574 --> 00:00:34,689 So how was the big trip? 12 00:00:34,854 --> 00:00:36,173 I don't wanna talk about it. 13 00:00:36,334 --> 00:00:39,963 - Well, what happened to your nose? - I don't wanna talk about it. 14 00:00:40,134 --> 00:00:42,090 Well, you gotta give me something. 15 00:00:42,254 --> 00:00:45,007 Come on, how was the wedding? Was the bride radiant? 16 00:00:45,174 --> 00:00:46,573 She was. 17 00:00:46,734 --> 00:00:48,770 Till she found out Elaine slept with the groom. 18 00:00:48,934 --> 00:00:51,573 Oh, that sounds juicy. 19 00:00:51,734 --> 00:00:55,329 Listen, I gotta go to the bathroom, but I wanna hear all about it. 20 00:00:55,494 --> 00:00:59,009 You know, I didn't go to the bathroom the entire time we were in India. 21 00:00:59,174 --> 00:01:02,405 I can't believe we went all the way to India for a wedding. 22 00:01:06,574 --> 00:01:09,327 - That's it. The wedding's off. - But, Sue Ellen... 23 00:01:09,494 --> 00:01:12,531 Elaine, you were my maid of honour and you slept with my Pinter? 24 00:01:12,694 --> 00:01:14,730 No, no. It was years ago, before you met him. 25 00:01:14,894 --> 00:01:17,613 And I gotta tell you, it was very mechanical. 26 00:01:17,774 --> 00:01:19,685 I have never been so humiliated. 27 00:01:19,854 --> 00:01:22,243 Idiots. This is all your fault. 28 00:01:22,414 --> 00:01:26,293 - Me? Him. His fault. He betrayed me. - George, I'm sorry. 29 00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:28,365 You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. 30 00:01:28,534 --> 00:01:30,365 I don't know what that means. 31 00:01:30,534 --> 00:01:33,173 Nina, you have to decide right now. Jerry or me. 32 00:01:33,334 --> 00:01:35,564 All right. Neither. 33 00:01:35,734 --> 00:01:37,167 What? 34 00:01:37,414 --> 00:01:39,882 - What are you doing here? - A free trip to India. 35 00:01:40,054 --> 00:01:44,650 And by the way, you can take off those boots. Everyone knows you're 5'6". 36 00:01:44,814 --> 00:01:47,851 - 5'8". 5'7". - See? 37 00:01:48,014 --> 00:01:51,404 See the way they are? We're still best friends, right? 38 00:01:51,574 --> 00:01:54,725 No. And take that stupid thing out of your nose. 39 00:01:55,574 --> 00:01:59,089 That's got to hurt. I don't care where you're from. 40 00:01:59,254 --> 00:02:03,042 When is our flight back? I gotta go to the bathroom. 41 00:02:11,414 --> 00:02:12,529 Hi. 42 00:02:13,494 --> 00:02:15,052 What happened last night? 43 00:02:15,214 --> 00:02:16,966 - Well, you were pretty loaded. - I know. 44 00:02:17,134 --> 00:02:19,045 I woke up with this. 45 00:02:19,214 --> 00:02:21,284 Oh, hello, tetanus. 46 00:02:25,494 --> 00:02:27,450 George, I've used the bathroom. It's fine. 47 00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:29,605 No, no, no. I can walk it off. 48 00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:32,732 It's 120 degrees in here. I'll sweat it out. 49 00:02:34,934 --> 00:02:36,333 Hey. 50 00:02:36,494 --> 00:02:38,246 Are those Timberlands... 51 00:02:38,414 --> 00:02:39,847 ...painted black? 52 00:02:40,014 --> 00:02:41,766 Is your nose pierced? 53 00:02:42,934 --> 00:02:45,243 - I should... - Yeah. Sit down. 54 00:02:47,374 --> 00:02:50,764 Hello, Jerry. I believe you know Nina. 55 00:02:50,934 --> 00:02:52,447 George, we need to talk. 56 00:02:52,614 --> 00:02:55,082 You've done a lot more than talk. You betrayed me. 57 00:02:55,254 --> 00:02:58,246 All right, I admit it. I slept with Nina, but that's all. 58 00:02:58,414 --> 00:03:00,689 That's all? That's everything. 59 00:03:00,854 --> 00:03:03,084 I don't know what the rest of it is for, anyway. 60 00:03:03,254 --> 00:03:04,482 I'm really sorry. 61 00:03:04,654 --> 00:03:06,610 You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. 62 00:03:06,774 --> 00:03:08,844 - Where'd you get that one? - It's an expression. 63 00:03:09,014 --> 00:03:10,572 Hey. 64 00:03:15,214 --> 00:03:17,330 Look, we are gonna settle this right now. 65 00:03:17,494 --> 00:03:20,088 I demand reparations. I should get to sleep with Elaine. 66 00:03:20,254 --> 00:03:21,767 That's the only way to punish you. 67 00:03:21,934 --> 00:03:27,213 That doesn't punish me. It punishes Elaine. And cruelly, I might add. 68 00:03:28,054 --> 00:03:30,284 Funny guy. 69 00:03:31,414 --> 00:03:33,644 Hey, monkeys. Knock it off. 70 00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:35,850 My best friend is trying to get married here. 71 00:03:36,014 --> 00:03:39,165 Elaine, you have to sleep with me. 72 00:03:39,334 --> 00:03:40,608 I'm not gonna sleep with you. 73 00:03:40,774 --> 00:03:42,810 Reparations. 74 00:03:43,734 --> 00:03:45,929 Would you grow up, George? What is the difference? 75 00:03:46,094 --> 00:03:48,688 Nina slept with him, he slept with me, I slept with Pinter. 76 00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:51,084 Nobody cares. It's all ancient history. 77 00:03:51,254 --> 00:03:53,165 You slept with the groom? 78 00:04:11,854 --> 00:04:15,005 Thank you, FDR. 79 00:04:15,174 --> 00:04:18,246 - All right, now we're even, huh? - I stuck a rock in there too. 80 00:04:18,414 --> 00:04:21,167 - I felt that. - All right. Okay. 81 00:04:23,214 --> 00:04:24,203 All right, FDR. 82 00:04:24,374 --> 00:04:25,853 This wish is for all the marbles. 83 00:04:26,014 --> 00:04:28,130 You win, you get your wish, I drop dead. 84 00:04:28,294 --> 00:04:32,765 I win, I don't drop dead and I get 100 percent anti-drop-dead protection. 85 00:04:32,934 --> 00:04:33,923 Forever. 86 00:04:35,134 --> 00:04:36,806 All right. 87 00:04:39,414 --> 00:04:40,847 Man. 88 00:04:42,254 --> 00:04:44,927 Come on. There's gotta be something that'll change your mind. 89 00:04:45,094 --> 00:04:46,083 Something. 90 00:04:48,974 --> 00:04:51,010 What, you want my kidney? 91 00:05:01,854 --> 00:05:06,211 George knows that you slept with Nina. That's why he was acting so weird. 92 00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:07,887 How did he find out? 93 00:05:08,054 --> 00:05:10,249 He schnapped me. 94 00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:13,966 You know you're not supposed to drink while you're keeping a secret. 95 00:05:15,854 --> 00:05:18,926 - Is there anything else? - I can't tell you. 96 00:05:19,094 --> 00:05:20,493 Here, drink this. 97 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,133 Okay. 98 00:05:26,934 --> 00:05:29,164 I slept with the groom. 99 00:05:29,854 --> 00:05:32,766 - Pinter? - He used to be called Peter. 100 00:05:33,454 --> 00:05:35,046 So who cares about that? 101 00:05:35,214 --> 00:05:37,011 Sue Ellen. 102 00:05:37,174 --> 00:05:40,484 If she knew, she'd call off the whole wedding. 103 00:05:40,654 --> 00:05:43,327 Oh, nobody's calling off any weddings. 104 00:05:43,494 --> 00:05:45,803 All right, it's time to go. 105 00:05:46,854 --> 00:05:48,970 Come on. Up. 106 00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:54,529 - You know what Jerry is in Indian? - No. What? 107 00:05:54,694 --> 00:05:55,683 Jugdish. 108 00:05:56,414 --> 00:05:58,974 - Yes, Jugdish. - Hey. 109 00:05:59,414 --> 00:06:02,531 What if I got my nose pierced? 110 00:06:02,694 --> 00:06:05,413 That would be pretty freaky. 111 00:06:08,574 --> 00:06:10,963 Yes. I think it's a fine idea. 112 00:06:11,134 --> 00:06:13,045 Well, good night. 113 00:06:16,214 --> 00:06:18,364 Good night, Jugdish. 114 00:06:23,654 --> 00:06:26,122 - Bless you. - Thank you. 115 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,009 Hello, FDR. 116 00:06:35,174 --> 00:06:37,813 Yeah, I'll have a hot one. 117 00:06:37,974 --> 00:06:39,089 Everything on it. 118 00:06:39,254 --> 00:06:43,088 These things will kill you. But so what? 119 00:06:43,254 --> 00:06:44,846 You're already gonna drop dead. 120 00:06:45,014 --> 00:06:46,003 Well, guess what, FDR. 121 00:06:46,214 --> 00:06:50,446 I made a wish on a shooting star last night and I wished against your wish. 122 00:06:50,614 --> 00:06:52,684 That's funny. As it happens... 123 00:06:52,854 --> 00:06:56,608 ...I saw the same shooting star and I double- wished you to drop dead. 124 00:06:56,774 --> 00:06:57,763 Here's your change. 125 00:06:58,934 --> 00:07:01,812 All right, I'm triple- wishing. 126 00:07:02,734 --> 00:07:07,444 Yeah, fair enough. I'm quadruple- wishing. 127 00:07:08,694 --> 00:07:11,083 All right. How do you like this? 128 00:07:12,774 --> 00:07:14,446 I like it a lot. 129 00:07:27,454 --> 00:07:30,491 Oh, God, it's so hot. 130 00:07:30,734 --> 00:07:32,167 And what is that smell? 131 00:07:32,334 --> 00:07:34,404 I think it's the stench of death. 132 00:07:35,174 --> 00:07:37,972 George, you've been wearing those boots since I met you. 133 00:07:38,134 --> 00:07:40,409 You're not gonna wear them to the wedding, are you? 134 00:07:40,574 --> 00:07:41,893 No. 135 00:07:42,734 --> 00:07:44,372 I'm gonna wear black shoes. 136 00:07:46,294 --> 00:07:48,046 Oh, boy, there's Sue Ellen. 137 00:07:48,214 --> 00:07:50,091 She didn't want me at this wedding. 138 00:07:50,254 --> 00:07:53,326 But here I am with a bunch of my idiot friends. 139 00:07:53,494 --> 00:07:55,212 This is gonna be great. 140 00:07:55,374 --> 00:07:57,808 Elaine? Oh. 141 00:07:57,974 --> 00:08:00,408 Oh, I am so happy to see you. 142 00:08:00,574 --> 00:08:03,247 - You are? - Well, of course. 143 00:08:03,414 --> 00:08:05,644 No one else was even willing to come to India. 144 00:08:05,814 --> 00:08:08,965 I mean, not even Pinter's parents and they're Indian. 145 00:08:09,134 --> 00:08:11,489 Come on, Sue Ellen, you don't wear a bra... 146 00:08:11,654 --> 00:08:13,645 ...you're tall. We hate each other. 147 00:08:13,814 --> 00:08:17,090 Elaine, I know. I know we've had our problems. 148 00:08:18,254 --> 00:08:22,372 But I want you to be my maid of honour and my best friend. 149 00:08:23,454 --> 00:08:24,682 All right, I guess. 150 00:08:26,174 --> 00:08:30,292 Oh, this is my fiancé. Pinter, say hello. 151 00:08:30,454 --> 00:08:31,728 Hello. 152 00:08:31,894 --> 00:08:34,772 - Peter. - Oh, no. It's Pinter. 153 00:08:34,934 --> 00:08:37,289 Does anyone wanna use the bathroom? 154 00:08:37,454 --> 00:08:39,888 Oh, no, no. We're good. Let's get going, all right. 155 00:08:40,054 --> 00:08:41,965 Watch it, funny man. 156 00:08:42,654 --> 00:08:45,930 Elaine, do you notice George was acting strange the whole flight? 157 00:08:46,094 --> 00:08:49,882 No, what? Like what? Strange? No. 158 00:08:50,774 --> 00:08:52,924 Hey, look what they had on the plane. 159 00:08:53,094 --> 00:08:54,573 Schnapps. 160 00:08:58,814 --> 00:09:00,645 Come on, come on. 161 00:09:01,294 --> 00:09:02,727 Yes. There's one. 162 00:09:02,894 --> 00:09:05,852 I wish I don't drop dead! 163 00:09:06,014 --> 00:09:07,652 Hey, shut up up there. 164 00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:11,090 - You shut up. - Oh, drop dead. 165 00:09:15,774 --> 00:09:17,810 Hello, friend. Enjoying the flight? 166 00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:20,329 Coach to India. The only way to go. 167 00:09:20,974 --> 00:09:23,442 Good one. Very funny. 168 00:09:23,614 --> 00:09:24,808 You're very funny, Jerry. 169 00:09:24,974 --> 00:09:26,453 That's what I always tell people. 170 00:09:26,614 --> 00:09:28,844 Jerry Seinfeld's a funny guy. 171 00:09:30,134 --> 00:09:32,125 - Are you all right? - Of course I'm all right. 172 00:09:32,294 --> 00:09:34,603 I'm here with my girl. Nina. 173 00:09:35,214 --> 00:09:39,366 And what better way to pass the time than gabbing with my best friend. 174 00:09:39,534 --> 00:09:42,606 With whom there are no secrets. 175 00:09:42,774 --> 00:09:44,207 Like this... 176 00:09:44,374 --> 00:09:47,172 ...since fourth grade. - Didn't I beat you up in fourth grade? 177 00:09:48,294 --> 00:09:49,647 Funny guy. 178 00:09:49,814 --> 00:09:51,008 Right here. 179 00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:52,732 By the way... 180 00:09:52,894 --> 00:09:55,806 ...you never said anything to George about Jerry and me, did you? 181 00:09:55,974 --> 00:09:58,408 Oh, please, it's in the vault. 182 00:10:00,014 --> 00:10:03,563 Jerry Seinfeld's a funny guy. 183 00:10:07,534 --> 00:10:09,126 Hey, what time is it? 184 00:10:09,294 --> 00:10:10,932 You just asked me two minutes ago. 185 00:10:13,014 --> 00:10:16,006 - Hey, what time is it? - I'm not wearing a watch. 186 00:10:17,374 --> 00:10:19,330 Is this tooth chipped? 187 00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:21,883 Yeah. How'd you do that? 188 00:10:22,054 --> 00:10:23,772 I have no idea. 189 00:10:25,094 --> 00:10:26,083 Watch this. 190 00:10:32,814 --> 00:10:34,611 Oh, God. 191 00:10:36,254 --> 00:10:37,926 So Jerry and Nina, huh? 192 00:10:41,214 --> 00:10:46,368 I'm not gonna tell you any more things. 193 00:10:48,054 --> 00:10:49,453 You already told me everything. 194 00:10:49,614 --> 00:10:51,252 Okey- dokey. 195 00:10:55,254 --> 00:10:56,243 We had a deal, Newman. 196 00:10:56,414 --> 00:10:59,850 You were supposed to give me your birthday wish. Now you've wasted it. 197 00:11:00,014 --> 00:11:01,652 Did I? 198 00:11:01,814 --> 00:11:05,124 Newman, I'm bored. 199 00:11:05,294 --> 00:11:08,206 - Does your girlfriend have to be here? - Does yours? 200 00:11:10,414 --> 00:11:12,848 I'm just hanging out in this hellhole because of George. 201 00:11:13,014 --> 00:11:14,572 Come on, Newman. You gotta help me. 202 00:11:14,734 --> 00:11:16,452 What am I gonna do about FDR? 203 00:11:16,614 --> 00:11:18,684 Why don't you just make another wish? 204 00:11:18,854 --> 00:11:20,810 And how am I gonna do that, toots? 205 00:11:21,654 --> 00:11:23,531 What about a shooting star? 206 00:11:23,694 --> 00:11:28,927 - That's perfect. - Beauty and brains. 207 00:11:29,614 --> 00:11:30,729 Oh, come on. 208 00:11:30,894 --> 00:11:32,532 You know he's a postman, don't you? 209 00:11:36,734 --> 00:11:38,770 - Here's your plane ticket. - What? 210 00:11:38,934 --> 00:11:43,769 Sue Ellen sends me an invitation one week before her wedding in India. 211 00:11:43,934 --> 00:11:44,969 I'll show her. 212 00:11:45,134 --> 00:11:48,365 - By flying half way around the world? - Spite never sleeps. 213 00:11:48,534 --> 00:11:51,685 Especially when you got a layover in Sarajevo. 214 00:11:52,454 --> 00:11:53,489 - Hey. - Here. 215 00:11:53,654 --> 00:11:55,087 You're going to India tomorrow. 216 00:11:55,254 --> 00:11:56,369 - For how long? - Three days. 217 00:11:56,534 --> 00:12:00,527 Great. Jerry, I gotta tell you, I had the best time with that Nina last night. 218 00:12:00,694 --> 00:12:04,004 I think I'm in love with her already. You are a great friend. 219 00:12:04,174 --> 00:12:06,608 A great, great friend. 220 00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:10,374 Kramer. You wanna borrow something? You wanna eat? 221 00:12:10,534 --> 00:12:12,684 - Wanna go to India? - I can't. 222 00:12:12,854 --> 00:12:14,412 I'm gonna drop dead. 223 00:12:14,574 --> 00:12:15,893 Great. Nina could go, huh? 224 00:12:16,054 --> 00:12:17,453 Jerry, this is great. 225 00:12:17,614 --> 00:12:19,764 You and Elaine. Me and Nina. 226 00:12:19,934 --> 00:12:21,253 Kramer, I'll go with you. 227 00:12:21,414 --> 00:12:24,326 - I'm going to Newman's. - Great, I love Newman. 228 00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:26,610 Jerry seem a little weird when I mentioned Nina? 229 00:12:26,774 --> 00:12:29,971 Nina? Nina? Nope. Not weird. No. Nina. 230 00:12:30,134 --> 00:12:32,807 - Why do you keep saying Nina? - I don't know. Nina. 231 00:12:32,974 --> 00:12:34,805 Nina. 232 00:12:36,974 --> 00:12:38,407 I'm gonna go grab a bite. 233 00:12:38,574 --> 00:12:40,405 I'll meet you down there. 234 00:12:43,414 --> 00:12:45,644 Cereal. Cereal. 235 00:12:45,814 --> 00:12:46,929 Peach schnapps. 236 00:12:49,814 --> 00:12:52,044 Come on, Lomez. We're gonna be late for the movie. 237 00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:57,566 You see, my dear, all certified mail is registered... 238 00:12:57,734 --> 00:13:01,932 ...but registered mail is not necessarily certified. 239 00:13:02,094 --> 00:13:05,052 I could listen to you talk about mail all day. 240 00:13:05,214 --> 00:13:06,772 Anything you wish. 241 00:13:06,934 --> 00:13:10,006 I'll tell you a little secret about zip codes. 242 00:13:10,174 --> 00:13:12,051 They're meaningless. 243 00:13:12,494 --> 00:13:14,052 Wish. 244 00:13:14,254 --> 00:13:16,051 Newman. 245 00:13:18,734 --> 00:13:20,884 Lomez, I'm leaving. 246 00:13:31,814 --> 00:13:36,490 Make a wish, Newman. We've gotta get back to work in three hours. 247 00:13:36,654 --> 00:13:38,610 Newman. Wait. 248 00:13:38,774 --> 00:13:40,765 Kramer. I'm with people. 249 00:13:40,934 --> 00:13:43,494 Yeah, yeah. And thanks for inviting me. 250 00:13:43,654 --> 00:13:49,047 I did invite you. Your invitation must have gotten lost in the mail. 251 00:13:52,854 --> 00:13:56,369 Look, Newman, I need your wish to protect me from FDR. 252 00:13:56,534 --> 00:13:59,128 No. I'm on an unbelievable birthday-wish hot streak. 253 00:13:59,294 --> 00:14:01,012 My last five birthday wishes came true. 254 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,563 Come on. Look, I'll give you my next birthday wish. 255 00:14:03,734 --> 00:14:06,294 Your next 50 wishes. 256 00:14:06,454 --> 00:14:07,569 Forty-eight. 257 00:14:07,734 --> 00:14:08,928 - Forty-nine. - Done. 258 00:14:09,094 --> 00:14:10,129 - Sucker. - Sucker. 259 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:13,084 All right, I'm back, savages, back. 260 00:14:13,694 --> 00:14:15,969 I haven't made my wish yet. 261 00:14:26,814 --> 00:14:29,965 Well, this Mischke mishmash is just getting worse. 262 00:14:30,134 --> 00:14:33,649 I talked to the groom's parents and it is obvious that they don't want me to go. 263 00:14:33,814 --> 00:14:36,533 The reason she sent me an invitation is so I'd send a gift. 264 00:14:36,694 --> 00:14:38,844 - Jerry. - You know, coffee grinder's nice... 265 00:14:39,014 --> 00:14:42,689 ...or a coffee maker. Everyone likes coffee. Maybe you should go get... 266 00:14:42,854 --> 00:14:44,970 Oh, hi. 267 00:14:45,574 --> 00:14:46,609 Hi. 268 00:14:46,774 --> 00:14:48,207 - I should... - Sure. 269 00:14:51,294 --> 00:14:52,727 - Bye- bye. - Bye. 270 00:14:56,014 --> 00:14:57,493 Who else you got back there? 271 00:14:57,654 --> 00:14:59,690 There was an awkward moment in the conversation. 272 00:14:59,854 --> 00:15:00,889 Never happened before. 273 00:15:01,054 --> 00:15:03,773 You slept with Nina. What are you gonna tell George? 274 00:15:03,934 --> 00:15:05,333 Nothing. And neither will you. 275 00:15:05,494 --> 00:15:08,167 George can never know about this. It'll crush him. 276 00:15:08,334 --> 00:15:10,290 All right, I'll put it in the vault. 277 00:15:10,454 --> 00:15:12,445 No good. Too many people know the combination. 278 00:15:12,614 --> 00:15:13,649 What combination? 279 00:15:16,054 --> 00:15:18,852 Don't be ridiculous. 280 00:15:19,494 --> 00:15:21,769 Oh, my God, this drawer is filled with Froot Loops. 281 00:15:21,934 --> 00:15:23,083 So what? 282 00:15:23,254 --> 00:15:24,846 And milk. 283 00:15:28,854 --> 00:15:30,287 Oh, jeez. 284 00:15:30,454 --> 00:15:31,933 Hello? 285 00:15:42,294 --> 00:15:44,171 Hi, Mr. And Mrs. Ranawat. 286 00:15:44,334 --> 00:15:45,767 Please. 287 00:15:45,934 --> 00:15:47,572 Call us Usha and Zubin. 288 00:15:47,734 --> 00:15:50,294 - Well, Usha. - I'm Zubin. 289 00:15:50,454 --> 00:15:53,366 Anyway, your son is marrying my friend, Sue Ellen Mischke... 290 00:15:53,534 --> 00:15:55,650 You're not going to the wedding, are you? 291 00:15:55,814 --> 00:15:57,486 - Well. - Don't go. 292 00:15:57,654 --> 00:16:00,532 India is a dreadful, dreadful place. 293 00:16:00,694 --> 00:16:03,731 You know, it's the only country that still has the plague. 294 00:16:03,894 --> 00:16:06,533 I mean, the plague. Please. 295 00:16:07,694 --> 00:16:09,173 Here's the registry. 296 00:16:09,334 --> 00:16:12,804 Send her a gift and be glad you did not have to go. 297 00:16:12,974 --> 00:16:15,807 Right. Don't go. Send a gift? 298 00:16:15,974 --> 00:16:17,805 I think I understand. 299 00:16:17,974 --> 00:16:22,126 If I had to go to India, I wouldn't go to the bathroom the entire trip. 300 00:16:22,294 --> 00:16:24,012 That's fantastic. 301 00:16:24,214 --> 00:16:27,570 And I'm not so crazy about Manhattan either. 302 00:16:32,054 --> 00:16:33,806 You were gonna tell me all about George. 303 00:16:33,974 --> 00:16:37,091 When you see him tomorrow night tell him that the waiter liked him. 304 00:16:37,254 --> 00:16:38,448 Really? 305 00:16:38,614 --> 00:16:40,093 Believe me. 306 00:16:40,254 --> 00:16:42,449 I forgot how much fun it is hanging out with you. 307 00:16:42,614 --> 00:16:45,492 I know. You know, we never had a bad conversation. 308 00:16:45,654 --> 00:16:49,010 I know. No awkward pauses. Probably the reason we never fooled around. 309 00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:52,447 Yeah. 310 00:16:54,174 --> 00:16:55,402 Probably the reason. 311 00:17:05,574 --> 00:17:07,166 Are you dense? 312 00:17:07,334 --> 00:17:10,531 I said, I wanted you to drop dead. 313 00:17:11,574 --> 00:17:13,963 Now, drop dead. 314 00:17:17,814 --> 00:17:19,247 I knew it. Stupid Jerry. 315 00:17:21,654 --> 00:17:24,327 I know what I'm saying. No way FDR wants you to drop dead. 316 00:17:24,494 --> 00:17:27,884 - But you have... - Just go back and ask him again. 317 00:17:29,494 --> 00:17:32,054 That's right. My birthday wish was that you drop dead. 318 00:17:32,214 --> 00:17:33,203 Well, why? 319 00:17:33,374 --> 00:17:34,773 I have my reasons. 320 00:17:35,734 --> 00:17:38,612 Wait, if you make a birthday wish out loud, it doesn't come true. 321 00:17:38,774 --> 00:17:42,084 That's just a silly superstition. 322 00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:49,650 Hey, FDR wants me to drop dead. 323 00:17:49,814 --> 00:17:52,408 - FDR? - Yeah, Franklin Delano Romanowski. 324 00:17:52,574 --> 00:17:53,848 I go to his birthday party... 325 00:17:54,014 --> 00:17:57,165 ...and just before he blew out his candles, he gives me this look. 326 00:17:57,334 --> 00:17:58,733 - Stink eye? - Crook eye? 327 00:17:58,894 --> 00:18:01,283 Evil eye. 328 00:18:01,694 --> 00:18:03,730 Everybody's a little cranky on their birthday. 329 00:18:03,894 --> 00:18:04,883 Oh, it's a bad day. 330 00:18:05,054 --> 00:18:07,488 Everyone's over. You're thinking: "These are my friends?" 331 00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:09,087 Everyday is my birthday. 332 00:18:10,414 --> 00:18:14,646 Well, I can't have this hanging over my head. It's bad mojo. 333 00:18:15,894 --> 00:18:17,486 Hi. 334 00:18:18,694 --> 00:18:21,652 You're not gonna believe what I got in the mail. 335 00:18:21,814 --> 00:18:24,009 Invitation to Sue Ellen Mischke's wedding. 336 00:18:24,174 --> 00:18:26,642 At least the wedding gown will give her some support. 337 00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:28,008 Not the point. 338 00:18:28,174 --> 00:18:31,883 The wedding is in one week. I got this today. 339 00:18:32,054 --> 00:18:34,363 - So you think it's a non-vite. - It's an un-vitation. 340 00:18:35,254 --> 00:18:38,405 - Hey, are you getting taller? - Timberlands. 341 00:18:39,734 --> 00:18:42,487 Hey, look at this. Pinter Ranawat? 342 00:18:42,654 --> 00:18:45,168 Wonder if he's related to the guy I dated, Peter Ranawat. 343 00:18:45,334 --> 00:18:47,689 It's probably like Smith over there. 344 00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:50,603 - Jerry, would you make the call? - What call? 345 00:18:50,774 --> 00:18:52,844 He wants me to set him up with Nina Stengle. 346 00:18:53,014 --> 00:18:57,007 Oh, the great-conversation girl. The one you think can replace me. 347 00:18:57,174 --> 00:18:58,846 I was kidding when I said that. 348 00:18:59,014 --> 00:19:00,049 Told me the same thing. 349 00:19:00,214 --> 00:19:03,251 - Nina, hi, it's Jerry. - You're sure you never slept with her? 350 00:19:04,054 --> 00:19:06,090 - Perfect. - Hey, how about my friend George... 351 00:19:06,254 --> 00:19:08,006 ...quite a guy, huh? 352 00:19:08,374 --> 00:19:10,285 Something's not sitting right. 353 00:19:11,614 --> 00:19:13,445 - I'll have the clams casino. - Get out. 354 00:19:13,614 --> 00:19:14,603 Chef recommends. 355 00:19:16,054 --> 00:19:17,965 - I think she likes me. - Sure. 356 00:19:18,134 --> 00:19:20,329 How come nothing ever happened with you and Nina? 357 00:19:20,494 --> 00:19:22,291 Is there a problem with her? Is she a man? 358 00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:24,365 Are you? 359 00:19:24,534 --> 00:19:25,762 Then what's the reason? 360 00:19:25,934 --> 00:19:29,165 We were too compatible. Our conversations were so engrossing. 361 00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:31,643 - How engrossing? - Lf we had a problem with Elaine... 362 00:19:31,814 --> 00:19:34,282 ...we could bring in Nina and not lose a step. 363 00:19:36,374 --> 00:19:39,684 You don't have a replacement lined up for me, do you? 364 00:19:42,774 --> 00:19:43,809 Like I was saying... 365 00:19:44,014 --> 00:19:46,482 ...I couldn't make the transition from conversation to sex. 366 00:19:46,654 --> 00:19:49,009 There were no awkward pauses. I need an awkward pause. 367 00:19:49,174 --> 00:19:51,563 I'm all awkward pauses. Fix me up with her. 368 00:19:52,694 --> 00:19:55,162 Well, wait a minute. Nina just saw me in my Timberlands. 369 00:19:55,334 --> 00:19:57,165 I have to wear them every time I see her. 370 00:19:57,334 --> 00:19:59,723 - Why? - In any other shoe, I lose 2 inches. 371 00:19:59,894 --> 00:20:02,852 I can't have a drop-down. We're eye to eye. I can't go eye to chin. 372 00:20:03,014 --> 00:20:05,005 So you're gonna wear them no matter what? 373 00:20:05,174 --> 00:20:08,246 In every situation. No matter how silly I look. 374 00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:11,408 - Tastes a little funky. - I'm sure it's fine. 375 00:20:17,494 --> 00:20:19,086 Go on, make a wish, make a wish. 376 00:20:31,774 --> 00:20:34,811 This is the kind of day that almost makes you feel good to be alive. 377 00:20:35,774 --> 00:20:37,685 - New Timberlands? - Yeah, and a whole new me. 378 00:20:37,854 --> 00:20:39,731 - I'm up 2 inches on these babies. - Really? 379 00:20:39,894 --> 00:20:41,964 5'8". 5'7". 380 00:20:42,774 --> 00:20:43,968 - Jerry. - Nina. 381 00:20:44,134 --> 00:20:45,249 - Hi. - It's been years. 382 00:20:45,414 --> 00:20:46,813 - Yeah. - George, this is Nina. 383 00:20:46,974 --> 00:20:49,249 - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you too. 384 00:20:57,014 --> 00:20:58,572 India? 385 00:20:58,934 --> 00:20:59,923 Yeah, right. 386 00:21:00,094 --> 00:21:02,130 I'm going to India. 387 00:21:11,254 --> 00:21:13,165 And they call it the World Wide Web. 388 00:21:13,334 --> 00:21:14,608 You can e- mail anyone. 389 00:21:15,174 --> 00:21:16,323 What are you, a scientist? 390 00:21:17,334 --> 00:21:18,687 Gotta go. 391 00:21:19,094 --> 00:21:21,892 - It was great talking. - Great talking to you. 392 00:21:22,054 --> 00:21:24,045 What the hell is e- mail? 393 00:21:25,494 --> 00:21:27,086 - How was the date? - Pretty good. 394 00:21:27,254 --> 00:21:28,607 I think she might be the one. 395 00:21:31,254 --> 00:21:33,324 - Oh, french fries. - George. 396 00:21:33,494 --> 00:21:36,406 Baked potato. Sorry. 397 00:21:36,574 --> 00:21:39,247 Yeah, you stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. 398 00:21:39,894 --> 00:21:42,613 Oh, hey, hey. Yeah. Check it out. 399 00:21:42,774 --> 00:21:44,844 Man, it's packing tight. 400 00:21:45,374 --> 00:21:47,251 Why are you bringing snowballs in here? 401 00:21:47,414 --> 00:21:49,689 I need some water. Ice it up, nice and hard. 402 00:21:49,854 --> 00:21:51,253 Then when you throw it: 403 00:21:51,414 --> 00:21:53,325 Oh, look, there's my friend FDR. 404 00:21:53,494 --> 00:21:55,564 I'm gonna nail him in the back of the head. 405 00:21:55,734 --> 00:21:57,565 It's gonna be great. 406 00:22:03,254 --> 00:22:05,131 - Hi, Elaine. - Hey. 407 00:22:05,294 --> 00:22:07,933 Let's go someplace else. Okay, Peter? 408 00:22:17,734 --> 00:22:18,723 Hey, how you doing? 409 00:22:18,894 --> 00:22:21,249 Oh, hi. I'm Jerry Seinfeld. I'm moving in. 410 00:22:21,414 --> 00:22:23,564 Saw your name on the buzzer. You must be Kessler. 411 00:22:23,734 --> 00:22:25,770 No, actually, it's Kramer. 412 00:22:26,054 --> 00:22:28,045 - You need any help or...? - No, thanks. 413 00:22:28,214 --> 00:22:29,647 I ordered a pizza, you want some? 414 00:22:29,814 --> 00:22:32,328 No, no, no. I couldn't impose. 415 00:22:32,494 --> 00:22:33,483 Why not? 416 00:22:33,654 --> 00:22:35,963 We're neighbours. What's mine is yours. 417 00:22:38,614 --> 00:22:40,047 Really? 418 00:22:41,654 --> 00:22:42,848 Good night, Jugdish.