1 00:00:04,965 --> 00:00:06,956 When are they gonna have the flying cars? 2 00:00:07,125 --> 00:00:08,638 Yeah, they have been promising that. 3 00:00:08,805 --> 00:00:11,842 Years. When we were kids it seemed like it was around the corner. 4 00:00:12,005 --> 00:00:14,075 I think Ed Begley Jr. Has one. 5 00:00:14,245 --> 00:00:15,837 No, that's just electric. 6 00:00:16,165 --> 00:00:18,554 What about Harrison Ford? He had one in Blade Runner. 7 00:00:18,725 --> 00:00:20,078 That was a cool one. 8 00:00:20,245 --> 00:00:22,805 Well, what's the competition? Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? 9 00:00:22,965 --> 00:00:24,603 What do you think the big holdup is? 10 00:00:24,965 --> 00:00:27,923 The government is very touchy about us being in the air. 11 00:00:28,085 --> 00:00:29,882 Let us run on the ground much as we want. 12 00:00:30,045 --> 00:00:31,683 Anything in the air is a big production. 13 00:00:31,845 --> 00:00:34,075 Yeah, right. And what about the floating cities? 14 00:00:34,245 --> 00:00:37,760 - And the underwater bubble cities? - It's like we're living in the '50s here. 15 00:00:41,165 --> 00:00:42,564 That's good suspension. 16 00:00:42,725 --> 00:00:46,081 Would you stop it? You'll have plenty of time to destroy it after I get it. 17 00:00:46,845 --> 00:00:49,598 Hey, George, I'm buying this car. 18 00:00:49,765 --> 00:00:53,235 What is wrong with you? You never tell them you like the car. 19 00:00:53,405 --> 00:00:56,317 You're not sure what you want. You don't even know why you're here. 20 00:00:57,085 --> 00:00:58,074 That vein again. 21 00:00:59,245 --> 00:01:02,123 - I'm starving. I should've had lunch. - It'll be 20 minutes. 22 00:01:02,285 --> 00:01:04,321 I told you, Puddy's getting me an insider deal. 23 00:01:04,485 --> 00:01:06,521 Since when is Elaine's boyfriend selling cars? 24 00:01:06,685 --> 00:01:08,880 - I thought he was a mechanic. - I guess he graduated. 25 00:01:09,045 --> 00:01:11,275 Easy move. Go from screwing you behind your back... 26 00:01:11,445 --> 00:01:13,515 ...to screwing you right to your face. 27 00:01:14,525 --> 00:01:15,753 Thank you. 28 00:01:15,925 --> 00:01:18,314 Puddy's just gonna give you the car, huh? You'll see. 29 00:01:18,485 --> 00:01:21,283 They stick you with the undercoating, rustproofing, dealer prep. 30 00:01:21,445 --> 00:01:23,242 Suddenly you're on your back like a turtle. 31 00:01:23,405 --> 00:01:25,919 - All right, calm down. - My father had a car-salesman buddy. 32 00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:27,518 He was gonna fix him up real nice. 33 00:01:27,685 --> 00:01:30,995 Next thing I know, I'm getting dropped off in a Le Car with a fabric sunroof. 34 00:01:31,165 --> 00:01:34,953 All the kids are shouting at me, "Hey, Le George. Bonjour, Le George. 35 00:01:35,125 --> 00:01:38,037 Let's stuff Le George in Le Locker." 36 00:01:38,805 --> 00:01:40,796 I don't think this thing is hooked up right. 37 00:01:40,965 --> 00:01:42,762 All right, we're going in. 38 00:01:44,565 --> 00:01:45,634 You got a good eye there. 39 00:01:45,805 --> 00:01:48,319 I see you've noticed the unibody construction. 40 00:01:48,485 --> 00:01:50,715 I'm Rick. Are you looking to buy or to lease? 41 00:01:51,045 --> 00:01:54,242 Borrow. From my friend. Yeah, he'll by buying it. 42 00:01:54,405 --> 00:01:57,124 - Maybe I should talk to him. - Oh, I don't think so. 43 00:01:57,285 --> 00:01:58,559 No, he's an entertainer. 44 00:01:58,725 --> 00:02:01,762 You know, all over the place. That's where I come in. 45 00:02:01,925 --> 00:02:05,281 - I see. So you're his manag...? - Neighbour. That's right. 46 00:02:05,805 --> 00:02:08,558 Why don't we take this boiler out for a shakedown, huh? 47 00:02:13,125 --> 00:02:14,717 Look at these salesmen. 48 00:02:15,845 --> 00:02:18,405 The only thing these guys fear is the walkout. 49 00:02:18,565 --> 00:02:19,998 No matter what they say, you say: 50 00:02:20,165 --> 00:02:23,077 - "I'll walk out of here right now." - Can I help you with something? 51 00:02:23,245 --> 00:02:26,043 Hold it. One more step and we're walking! 52 00:02:27,685 --> 00:02:30,245 George. Sorry, we're just waiting for David Puddy. 53 00:02:30,405 --> 00:02:32,600 He is. You don't know what I'm doing. 54 00:02:34,205 --> 00:02:35,194 - Hey. - Hey. 55 00:02:35,365 --> 00:02:37,276 - Sorry I'm late. - My new salesman boyfriend... 56 00:02:37,445 --> 00:02:39,197 ...took me out to celebrate his promotion. 57 00:02:39,365 --> 00:02:40,798 Oh, where'd you go? 58 00:02:41,485 --> 00:02:43,555 - To a restaurant. - Arby's. 59 00:02:45,885 --> 00:02:48,319 I had the roast beef. 60 00:02:48,485 --> 00:02:50,555 So I decided I'm gonna go with a 900 convertible. 61 00:02:50,725 --> 00:02:52,875 All right, classic. High-five. 62 00:02:55,845 --> 00:02:57,801 Can you tell me where the Xerox machine is? 63 00:02:57,965 --> 00:03:01,241 Oh, sure, babe. Salesmen- only copy room right there. 64 00:03:02,565 --> 00:03:03,998 Come on, I'll show you the 900. 65 00:03:04,165 --> 00:03:07,202 Yeah, you show us the 900. 66 00:03:09,405 --> 00:03:11,043 And look at these features, Mr. Kramer. 67 00:03:11,205 --> 00:03:13,241 Antilock brakes, automatic climate control... 68 00:03:13,405 --> 00:03:14,997 Make a right at this corner, please. 69 00:03:15,165 --> 00:03:18,521 - An adjustable steering wheel and... Oh, Mr. Kramer, you missed the turn. 70 00:03:18,685 --> 00:03:20,516 - No, no, no, I didn't. - Well, that's okay. 71 00:03:20,685 --> 00:03:23,119 Make this next right and swing back to the dealership. 72 00:03:23,285 --> 00:03:26,482 Well, it's a test drive, right? I never drive around here. 73 00:03:26,645 --> 00:03:28,124 If I'm gonna recommend this car... 74 00:03:28,285 --> 00:03:30,480 ...I need to see that it'll handle my daily routine. 75 00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:32,158 Well, where're we going? 76 00:03:32,325 --> 00:03:35,522 Just a little place I like to call "You'll See." 77 00:03:37,965 --> 00:03:39,034 I'm starving. 78 00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:42,357 You got any of those free doughnuts you use to soften people up? 79 00:03:42,885 --> 00:03:44,159 By the Service Department. 80 00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:48,398 All right, remember, no rustproofing. Commit to nothing. 81 00:03:48,565 --> 00:03:50,556 If you have to speak, mumble. 82 00:03:51,925 --> 00:03:55,520 - Au revoir, Le George. - Don't think it can't happen. 83 00:03:56,405 --> 00:03:58,157 Puddy, this is a pretty good move for you. 84 00:03:58,325 --> 00:04:01,123 - No more grease monkey. - I don't care for that term. 85 00:04:02,565 --> 00:04:04,317 Oh, sorry, I didn't know. 86 00:04:04,485 --> 00:04:07,443 I don't know too many monkeys who could take apart a fuel injector. 87 00:04:08,125 --> 00:04:09,763 I saw one that could do sign language. 88 00:04:09,925 --> 00:04:11,836 Yeah, I saw that one. 89 00:04:12,165 --> 00:04:13,439 Koko. 90 00:04:13,605 --> 00:04:15,516 Yeah, Koko. 91 00:04:15,845 --> 00:04:17,642 Right. Koko. 92 00:04:17,805 --> 00:04:20,000 That chimp's all right. High-five. 93 00:04:21,685 --> 00:04:23,198 Hey, hey, hey. What's going on here? 94 00:04:23,365 --> 00:04:24,593 You didn't agree to anything. 95 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,563 No, we both just saw the same monkey. 96 00:04:28,045 --> 00:04:30,434 Well, I got screwed on the doughnuts. 97 00:04:30,605 --> 00:04:31,799 There were none left. 98 00:04:31,965 --> 00:04:34,240 There's a vending machine. I can show you where it is. 99 00:04:34,565 --> 00:04:35,998 Hey, give me a dollar. 100 00:04:36,205 --> 00:04:37,194 Where's your money? 101 00:04:37,365 --> 00:04:39,640 I'm here helping you. 102 00:04:39,805 --> 00:04:42,399 Hey, where's Puddy? The copy machine is broken. 103 00:04:43,005 --> 00:04:45,439 That's what they want you to think. 104 00:04:45,605 --> 00:04:48,961 Have you noticed your boyfriend has developed an annoying little habit? 105 00:04:49,125 --> 00:04:50,877 - The squinting? - No. 106 00:04:51,045 --> 00:04:53,605 - The staring? - No. 107 00:04:54,565 --> 00:04:56,635 He keeps asking me to give him a high-five. 108 00:04:57,125 --> 00:04:58,319 I thought all guys do that. 109 00:04:58,485 --> 00:05:02,194 Slapping hands is the lowest form of male- primate ritual. 110 00:05:02,365 --> 00:05:05,277 In fact, some of them have moved on. They're doing sign language now. 111 00:05:05,445 --> 00:05:06,560 It's that bad? 112 00:05:06,725 --> 00:05:09,922 What do you think the Nazis were doing? That was the heil- five. 113 00:05:12,365 --> 00:05:14,879 Isn't that from your act, like, 10 years ago? 114 00:05:15,605 --> 00:05:18,403 It was a good bit in the '80s, and it's still relatable today. 115 00:05:19,845 --> 00:05:21,403 Good news, we got a 900 in black. 116 00:05:21,565 --> 00:05:24,318 That's the hot colour. High-five. 117 00:05:25,765 --> 00:05:29,280 David, can you come help me fix the copy machine? Come on. 118 00:05:29,445 --> 00:05:31,163 You owe me five. 119 00:05:32,285 --> 00:05:33,400 Twix. 120 00:05:35,125 --> 00:05:36,604 B5. 121 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,118 Come on. 122 00:06:03,365 --> 00:06:05,276 Excuse me, do you have change of a dollar? 123 00:06:06,085 --> 00:06:07,279 No. 124 00:06:10,485 --> 00:06:12,237 Could I trade you for another dollar? 125 00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:15,238 - Don't have one. - Excuse me. 126 00:06:16,165 --> 00:06:19,601 When your wallet was open, I glanced inside... 127 00:06:20,125 --> 00:06:23,834 ...and I couldn't help but notice that you have several crisp dollar bills. 128 00:06:24,005 --> 00:06:26,235 You're incorrect. 129 00:06:26,405 --> 00:06:29,602 Perhaps you could look again, please. I'm very hungry. 130 00:06:30,045 --> 00:06:31,842 We had doughnuts earlier. 131 00:06:35,685 --> 00:06:39,360 I guess everyone here enjoys giving the old scroogie, huh? 132 00:06:40,005 --> 00:06:42,565 You're all doing a hell of a job. 133 00:06:43,565 --> 00:06:46,238 What I would do with you. 134 00:06:46,805 --> 00:06:50,081 Mr. Kramer, we're really not allowed to use the cars to run errands. 135 00:06:50,245 --> 00:06:52,759 Now, look, Rick, I'm very close to giving this car... 136 00:06:52,925 --> 00:06:55,803 ...that my celebrity friend is considering, my full endorsement. 137 00:06:56,285 --> 00:06:59,516 Well, let's see if I can get a smile from these femininas. 138 00:07:00,005 --> 00:07:04,840 Hey, ladies. It's a Saab 900. What do you think? 139 00:07:05,005 --> 00:07:09,283 Can I interest you in a little supplemental restraint? 140 00:07:16,325 --> 00:07:18,555 I think the candy comes out over there. 141 00:07:19,525 --> 00:07:22,085 People drop change down here, Jerry. 142 00:07:22,245 --> 00:07:23,997 And they're too lazy to pick it up. 143 00:07:24,165 --> 00:07:27,999 Either that or they've got a weird little hang-up about lying face down in filth. 144 00:07:30,245 --> 00:07:31,803 Why don't you just go to the cashier? 145 00:07:31,965 --> 00:07:35,321 The cashier is at lunch, which is where I'd like to be. 146 00:07:35,485 --> 00:07:38,238 - How much was under there? - I think something bit me. 147 00:07:39,085 --> 00:07:40,404 I just need another nickel. 148 00:07:40,565 --> 00:07:44,114 Hey, Puddy thinks I should go for the CD player. What do you think? 149 00:07:44,445 --> 00:07:47,994 He's got a live one. He's just reeling this big fish in. 150 00:07:48,165 --> 00:07:49,598 Hey, could I have my dollar back? 151 00:07:49,765 --> 00:07:52,484 It's wrinkled. It's worthless. 152 00:08:09,285 --> 00:08:10,923 Come on. 153 00:08:11,085 --> 00:08:12,598 Jump! 154 00:08:15,045 --> 00:08:16,478 They put out some more doughnuts. 155 00:08:16,645 --> 00:08:18,795 - They did? - Last one. 156 00:08:22,565 --> 00:08:24,601 Well, just one more errand and we can head back. 157 00:08:24,765 --> 00:08:27,723 Actually, it looks like we're gonna need some gas. 158 00:08:27,885 --> 00:08:30,080 Well, how much gas you think is in there right now? 159 00:08:30,245 --> 00:08:31,519 Well, it's on E. 160 00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:34,995 You know, Rick, often times, Jerry, he lends me his car... 161 00:08:35,165 --> 00:08:38,953 ...and I find myself in a situation where the car is almost out of gas. 162 00:08:39,125 --> 00:08:41,116 But for a variety of reasons... 163 00:08:41,285 --> 00:08:44,960 ...I don't wanna be the one responsible for purchasing costly gasoline. 164 00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:48,558 So you wanna know how far you can drive your friend's car for free. 165 00:08:50,885 --> 00:08:52,955 Well, I make it up to him in other ways. 166 00:08:55,045 --> 00:08:57,115 As you will see, the candy bar is paid for... 167 00:08:57,285 --> 00:08:59,321 ...and yet remains dangling in the machine. 168 00:09:01,445 --> 00:09:03,242 Hey, it's gone. 169 00:09:03,965 --> 00:09:06,001 Where is my Twix? 170 00:09:07,125 --> 00:09:08,797 That guy's eating it. 171 00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,398 How do you know that one's yours? 172 00:09:10,565 --> 00:09:12,760 It was dangling. There were two left in the machine. 173 00:09:12,925 --> 00:09:14,643 He must have bought one and gotten both. 174 00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:17,239 - Sir, are you gonna buy a car? - No. 175 00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:22,520 Hey. Hey. I see you. That is my Twix. 176 00:09:27,765 --> 00:09:30,404 Paper jam. Got it. 177 00:09:30,565 --> 00:09:31,680 High-five. 178 00:09:34,405 --> 00:09:35,679 On the flip side. 179 00:09:36,925 --> 00:09:39,678 - David, l... - Don't leave me hanging. 180 00:09:39,845 --> 00:09:43,235 You're a salesman now. The high-five is... 181 00:09:43,405 --> 00:09:45,043 It's very grease monkey. 182 00:09:45,205 --> 00:09:47,241 - What did I tell you about that? - I'm sorry. 183 00:09:47,405 --> 00:09:49,839 But the high-five is just so stupid. 184 00:09:50,005 --> 00:09:52,678 Oh, yeah? I'll tell you what's stupid. 185 00:09:52,845 --> 00:09:54,073 You, stupid. 186 00:09:56,165 --> 00:09:58,554 Oh, that is really mature. 187 00:09:58,725 --> 00:10:00,317 Yeah? So are you. 188 00:10:01,765 --> 00:10:03,278 You're the grease monkey. 189 00:10:05,085 --> 00:10:07,679 That doesn't make any sense. 190 00:10:08,165 --> 00:10:10,395 - I am leaving. - Yeah, if you leave, we're through. 191 00:10:10,565 --> 00:10:12,521 - Fine, we're through. - Oh, so you're leaving? 192 00:10:12,685 --> 00:10:16,473 That's right. High-five, on the flip side. 193 00:10:18,125 --> 00:10:19,683 Taking me to Arby's. 194 00:10:20,405 --> 00:10:22,965 - Hey, where were you...? - Let's finish this up. 195 00:10:23,125 --> 00:10:26,401 - Did you two break up? - That chick's whacked. 196 00:10:26,565 --> 00:10:27,759 We're history. 197 00:10:27,925 --> 00:10:30,723 Just left out a couple of things. Rustproofing. 198 00:10:30,885 --> 00:10:33,445 - Rustproofing? - Transport charge. 199 00:10:33,605 --> 00:10:36,756 Storage surcharge. Additional overcharge. 200 00:10:36,925 --> 00:10:39,678 - Finder's fee. - Finder's fee? It was on the lot. 201 00:10:39,845 --> 00:10:41,278 Yeah, that's right. 202 00:10:41,445 --> 00:10:44,801 - And floor mats, keys. - Keys? 203 00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:47,042 How are you gonna start it? 204 00:10:54,405 --> 00:10:58,318 Excuse me. I believe you just ate my Twix bar. 205 00:10:58,485 --> 00:11:00,874 It was dangling and when you purchased your Twix bar... 206 00:11:01,045 --> 00:11:03,764 ...you got a little freebie and you never bothered to ask why... 207 00:11:03,925 --> 00:11:05,438 ...or seek out its rightful owner. 208 00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:09,594 First of all, it wasn't a Twix. It was a 5th Avenue bar. 209 00:11:11,685 --> 00:11:13,198 You must think I'm pretty stupid. 210 00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:17,442 That's no 5th Avenue bar. I can see the crumb in the corner of your lip. 211 00:11:17,605 --> 00:11:20,722 Now, that is a cookie and we all know that Twix is the only candy bar... 212 00:11:20,885 --> 00:11:22,682 ...with the cookie crunch. 213 00:11:22,925 --> 00:11:23,960 That's a little nougat. 214 00:11:24,285 --> 00:11:27,243 Nougat? Please. I think I've reached a point in my life... 215 00:11:27,405 --> 00:11:29,794 ...where I can tell between nougat and cookie. 216 00:11:29,965 --> 00:11:33,435 So let's not just say things that we both know are obvious fabrications. 217 00:11:34,165 --> 00:11:36,599 You know you're getting a little vein there? 218 00:11:36,765 --> 00:11:39,233 I know about the vein. This guy. 219 00:11:39,405 --> 00:11:40,804 - Hey, George. - Hey, I'm starving. 220 00:11:40,965 --> 00:11:42,717 Last one. Listen, you gotta help me out. 221 00:11:42,885 --> 00:11:45,763 Elaine and Puddy broke up. He's treating me like a regular customer. 222 00:11:45,925 --> 00:11:48,314 I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen. No. 223 00:11:48,485 --> 00:11:50,555 You were gonna get a deal. 224 00:11:50,725 --> 00:11:54,081 There's no law in this place. Anything goes. It's Thunderdome. 225 00:11:54,805 --> 00:11:57,444 - Is someone helping you? - Stay back. 226 00:11:59,125 --> 00:12:00,604 Where is it now? 227 00:12:00,765 --> 00:12:03,199 There's overlap between the needle and slash below the E. 228 00:12:03,365 --> 00:12:04,718 How low are you gonna go? 229 00:12:04,885 --> 00:12:06,557 Oh, I've been in the slash many times. 230 00:12:06,725 --> 00:12:08,477 This is nothing. You'll get used to it. 231 00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,397 Just put it out of your mind. 232 00:12:11,805 --> 00:12:16,162 Have you ever been completely below the slash? 233 00:12:16,325 --> 00:12:18,714 Well, I almost did once and I blacked out. 234 00:12:18,885 --> 00:12:22,355 When I came to the car was in a ditch and the tank was full. 235 00:12:22,525 --> 00:12:25,437 I don't know who did it. And I never got to thank them. 236 00:12:25,605 --> 00:12:27,482 Mr. Kramer, the road. 237 00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:32,321 When we started this deal, I thought things were gonna be different. 238 00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:34,760 If you wanna play hardball, I got my friend George... 239 00:12:34,925 --> 00:12:36,961 ...and he can play pretty hard. Ball. 240 00:12:37,685 --> 00:12:40,597 George. Vein it up. 241 00:12:40,965 --> 00:12:42,842 All right, Puddy, listen and listen good. 242 00:12:43,005 --> 00:12:46,122 I need to know the name of that mechanic that walks around here. 243 00:12:46,285 --> 00:12:49,960 Big guy, a liar, short name. Sam, Mo, Sol... 244 00:12:50,125 --> 00:12:53,037 George, can we focus on the car here? 245 00:12:53,205 --> 00:12:57,835 I'm starving. I can feel my stomach sucking up against my spine. 246 00:12:58,565 --> 00:13:00,044 Well, I need your signature here... 247 00:13:00,205 --> 00:13:02,560 ...and we'll get you that yellow car ready to go. 248 00:13:03,085 --> 00:13:04,484 Yellow? I wanted black. 249 00:13:04,645 --> 00:13:06,556 I can't give you black at that price. 250 00:13:07,045 --> 00:13:08,797 George, would you help me, please? 251 00:13:08,965 --> 00:13:10,557 Yes. This is wrong. 252 00:13:11,525 --> 00:13:12,514 Sing it, sister! 253 00:13:12,685 --> 00:13:15,483 Just because a candy bar fails to fall from its perch... 254 00:13:15,645 --> 00:13:16,634 Oh, God. 255 00:13:16,805 --> 00:13:19,035 - Does not imply transfer of ownership. 256 00:13:19,205 --> 00:13:22,436 Mo, Sol or Lem is not gonna get away with this. 257 00:13:22,605 --> 00:13:24,118 - I'll be right back. - Okay. 258 00:13:24,285 --> 00:13:25,434 Hey, George. 259 00:13:26,765 --> 00:13:28,323 Is it just the angle I'm looking from? 260 00:13:28,485 --> 00:13:32,160 - No, sir. We are down there. - Oh, this is amazing. 261 00:13:32,325 --> 00:13:35,123 Oh, I never felt so alive. 262 00:13:35,285 --> 00:13:37,594 All right, I'm satisfied. We better get some gas. 263 00:13:37,765 --> 00:13:40,643 - What? Well, we can't stop now. - What do you mean? 264 00:13:40,805 --> 00:13:43,365 We have to keep going to the dealership. That was the plan. 265 00:13:43,525 --> 00:13:45,595 - There's no plan. - Well, let's make it the plan. 266 00:13:45,765 --> 00:13:48,484 Let's just go for it like Thelma and Louise. 267 00:13:48,645 --> 00:13:51,682 - They drove to a dealership? - No, they drove off a cliff. 268 00:13:52,925 --> 00:13:55,997 You are one sick mama. I like it. 269 00:13:56,165 --> 00:13:58,395 Mr. Kramer, the road. 270 00:14:02,245 --> 00:14:04,281 - Hello? - You gotta back down to the dealer. 271 00:14:04,445 --> 00:14:07,039 Puddy is screwing me on this car, which is yellow now. 272 00:14:07,205 --> 00:14:11,517 - Who is this? What? - Elaine. 273 00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:14,199 You gotta get back with Puddy so I can make this deal. 274 00:14:14,805 --> 00:14:19,037 You know, just that you cared enough to call means so much, Jerry. 275 00:14:19,205 --> 00:14:21,844 You're gonna get back together. It's thousands of dollars. 276 00:14:22,005 --> 00:14:23,040 I don't know. 277 00:14:23,205 --> 00:14:26,242 You don't have to see him again until my 15,000-mile check. 278 00:14:26,885 --> 00:14:29,274 - Will you pay my cab fare out there? - Fine. 279 00:14:29,445 --> 00:14:31,675 I didn't like that roast beef so how about lunch? 280 00:14:32,085 --> 00:14:34,838 - No, no lunch. - I'll hang this phone up right now. 281 00:14:35,005 --> 00:14:36,563 - All right, lunch. - See you. 282 00:14:36,725 --> 00:14:40,115 Bye. Everybody's ripping me off. 283 00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:43,834 I'd like to report a problem with one of your mechanics. 284 00:14:44,005 --> 00:14:45,597 When did you bring your car in? 285 00:14:45,765 --> 00:14:49,075 Yeah, right. I'm gonna get my car repaired at a dealership. 286 00:14:49,605 --> 00:14:52,642 Why don't I just flush my money down the toilet? 287 00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:56,162 Sir, what exactly is the problem? 288 00:14:56,325 --> 00:14:58,919 One of your guys, Kip or Ned... 289 00:14:59,085 --> 00:15:02,236 Short name. - Stole my Twix candy bar. 290 00:15:02,405 --> 00:15:04,794 Are you saying he grabbed your candy bar away from you? 291 00:15:04,965 --> 00:15:06,000 He might as well have. 292 00:15:06,165 --> 00:15:10,078 I caught him and his face was covered in chocolate and cookie crumbs. 293 00:15:10,245 --> 00:15:12,236 - I thought you said it was a Twix? - Oh, it was. 294 00:15:12,405 --> 00:15:15,044 But he claimed it was a 5th Avenue bar. 295 00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:16,718 - Maybe it was. - Oh, no. No. 296 00:15:16,885 --> 00:15:19,524 Twix is the only candy with the cookie crunch. 297 00:15:19,685 --> 00:15:22,153 - What about the $100,000 bar? - No, rice and caramel. 298 00:15:22,325 --> 00:15:24,475 - Nougat? Positive? - No. Please. 299 00:15:24,645 --> 00:15:27,842 You know they changed the name from $100,000 bar to Hundred Grand? 300 00:15:29,685 --> 00:15:34,679 All I want is my 75 cents back, an apology, and for him to be fired. 301 00:15:36,725 --> 00:15:41,241 I remember when you used to be able to get a Hershey for a nickel. 302 00:15:41,845 --> 00:15:45,201 What's the one with the swirling chocolate in the commercial? 303 00:15:45,365 --> 00:15:47,674 They all have swirling chocolate in the commercial. 304 00:15:47,845 --> 00:15:49,722 Not Skittles. 305 00:15:51,045 --> 00:15:54,196 Dad, I told you you could sit here only if you don't talk. 306 00:15:54,365 --> 00:15:56,003 You make your father sit here all day? 307 00:15:56,165 --> 00:15:57,803 - He likes it. - All right. Do you mind? 308 00:15:57,965 --> 00:15:59,842 I have the window. 309 00:16:00,885 --> 00:16:02,557 Now, what're you gonna do about my Twix? 310 00:16:02,725 --> 00:16:05,922 - Twix has too much coconut. - No, there's no coconut! 311 00:16:06,085 --> 00:16:08,121 - I'm allergic to coconut. - I'm not. 312 00:16:08,285 --> 00:16:09,923 A nickel. 313 00:16:11,925 --> 00:16:15,520 - Cab receipt. Hey, Puddy. - I'm with a customer. 314 00:16:17,725 --> 00:16:20,444 No, no, no. Elaine, the car can wait. 315 00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:23,119 What's important is you two getting back together. 316 00:16:23,285 --> 00:16:24,559 Then we'll talk about the car. 317 00:16:24,725 --> 00:16:26,636 I don't wanna get back with her. She's bossy. 318 00:16:26,805 --> 00:16:28,033 David. 319 00:16:28,725 --> 00:16:30,124 Okay. 320 00:16:30,885 --> 00:16:32,682 Now, I know this is an important decision. 321 00:16:32,845 --> 00:16:35,359 Why don't we all just sit down and talk about it? 322 00:16:35,845 --> 00:16:38,200 Come on. Come on. 323 00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:41,437 Now, look. You both find each other attractive, right? 324 00:16:42,845 --> 00:16:43,834 - Right. - Right. 325 00:16:44,005 --> 00:16:47,042 Clearly, no one else can stand to be with either one of you. 326 00:16:49,765 --> 00:16:50,880 - I guess. - Good point. 327 00:16:51,045 --> 00:16:52,478 All right. 328 00:16:53,645 --> 00:16:57,923 Now, what do I have to do to put you two in a relationship today? 329 00:17:00,445 --> 00:17:02,959 Cars can go on empty, but not us humans, huh, fella? 330 00:17:03,125 --> 00:17:04,922 - I'll get us a couple of Twix bars. - No. 331 00:17:05,565 --> 00:17:06,714 No coconut for me. 332 00:17:06,885 --> 00:17:10,241 All right, I'll get you a Mounds bar. Keep the engine running. 333 00:17:19,565 --> 00:17:21,920 No, man, not the gas. 334 00:17:22,085 --> 00:17:23,803 But it needs it, Kramer. It needs it bad. 335 00:17:23,965 --> 00:17:26,559 You really think this will make you happy? Because it won't. 336 00:17:26,725 --> 00:17:27,953 You should go on without me. 337 00:17:28,125 --> 00:17:31,276 Listen to me. When that car rolls into that dealership... 338 00:17:31,445 --> 00:17:34,323 ...and that tank is bone- dry, I want you to be there with me... 339 00:17:34,485 --> 00:17:36,680 ...when everyone says, "Kramer and that other guy... 340 00:17:36,845 --> 00:17:40,554 ...they went farther to the left of the slash than anyone ever dreamed." 341 00:17:42,325 --> 00:17:43,997 Maybe we'd better get moving. 342 00:17:45,405 --> 00:17:47,043 It's good to have you back, Stan. 343 00:17:47,205 --> 00:17:50,197 - It's Rick, by the way. - No time. 344 00:17:51,925 --> 00:17:54,723 Mr. Costanza, I really don't have time for this. 345 00:17:54,885 --> 00:17:57,683 Now, if this mechanic guy was, in fact... 346 00:17:57,845 --> 00:18:00,723 ... eating a 5th Avenue bar, as he claims... 347 00:18:00,885 --> 00:18:03,194 ...wouldn't you agree he would have no problem... 348 00:18:03,365 --> 00:18:05,754 ...picking one out from a candy lineup? 349 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,803 Candy lineup? 350 00:18:08,245 --> 00:18:11,521 I've spent the last hour preparing 10 candy bars... 351 00:18:11,685 --> 00:18:14,518 ...with no wrappers or identification of any kind... 352 00:18:14,685 --> 00:18:15,834 ...for him to select from. 353 00:18:16,005 --> 00:18:17,120 That took you an hour? 354 00:18:17,285 --> 00:18:20,436 Only I hold the answer key to their true candy identities. 355 00:18:21,765 --> 00:18:24,598 And so without further ado... 356 00:18:24,765 --> 00:18:26,562 ...I give you... 357 00:18:27,285 --> 00:18:28,764 ...the candy lineup. 358 00:18:30,565 --> 00:18:33,125 Hey, Willie, check it out, free candy. 359 00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:37,238 That's my candy lineup. Where are my cards? 360 00:18:37,405 --> 00:18:38,884 They're all on the floor. 361 00:18:39,445 --> 00:18:42,482 And you? How many Twix does that make for you today? 362 00:18:42,645 --> 00:18:45,034 - Like, eight Twix? - No. 363 00:18:45,205 --> 00:18:48,003 - Hey, this Clark bar is good. - It's a Twix. 364 00:18:48,165 --> 00:18:50,235 They're all Twix. It was a setup. 365 00:18:50,405 --> 00:18:52,441 A setup, I tell you. And you've robbed it. 366 00:18:52,605 --> 00:18:54,721 You've all screwed me again. 367 00:18:54,885 --> 00:18:56,477 Now, give me one. Give me a Twix. 368 00:18:56,645 --> 00:18:58,556 They're all gone. 369 00:19:00,125 --> 00:19:03,356 Twix! 370 00:19:04,365 --> 00:19:05,434 What was that? 371 00:19:05,925 --> 00:19:08,485 There's a mental hospital right near here. 372 00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:10,798 All right, Elaine, David... 373 00:19:10,965 --> 00:19:13,240 ...I believe we have a deal here in principle. 374 00:19:13,405 --> 00:19:15,361 Arby's no more than once a month... 375 00:19:15,525 --> 00:19:18,358 ...and in exchange Elaine comes to your softball game... 376 00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:20,004 ...and doesn't read a book. 377 00:19:21,005 --> 00:19:23,519 - Well, that's not bad. - I can live with that. 378 00:19:24,965 --> 00:19:28,037 - So you're back together? - Yeah. 379 00:19:28,485 --> 00:19:31,363 All right, all right, that's enough. Now, let's get back to my deal. 380 00:19:31,525 --> 00:19:33,755 That undercoating, that's a rip-off, isn't it, David? 381 00:19:33,925 --> 00:19:35,836 Oh, we don't even know what it is. 382 00:19:36,005 --> 00:19:39,361 - So I'm getting the insider's deal? - The insider's deal. 383 00:19:39,525 --> 00:19:40,514 High-five. 384 00:19:43,605 --> 00:19:45,482 There's the dealer. 385 00:19:45,645 --> 00:19:48,205 We did it. We pulled it off. I can't believe it. 386 00:19:48,365 --> 00:19:51,198 - Where's the needle? - Oh, it broke off, baby. 387 00:19:51,365 --> 00:19:54,914 Oh, Mr. Kramer, I gotta thank you. I learned a lot. 388 00:19:55,085 --> 00:19:56,962 Things are gonna be different for me now. 389 00:19:57,125 --> 00:19:59,161 Well, that's a weird thing to say. 390 00:19:59,845 --> 00:20:01,722 I wonder how much longer we'd have lasted. 391 00:20:01,885 --> 00:20:03,841 Yeah, yeah, I wonder. 392 00:20:25,605 --> 00:20:28,073 This is nice. What kind of car is this? 393 00:20:28,725 --> 00:20:30,602 Caprice Classic. 394 00:20:31,645 --> 00:20:33,556 You couldn't just give him one high-five? 395 00:20:33,725 --> 00:20:35,795 And where does it end? Then everyone's doing it. 396 00:20:35,965 --> 00:20:38,604 It's like the wave at ball games. Air quotes. 397 00:20:38,765 --> 00:20:40,483 The phrase, "Don't go there." 398 00:20:40,645 --> 00:20:42,601 Someone's gotta take a stand. 399 00:20:42,765 --> 00:20:44,164 This Arby's is good. 400 00:20:44,725 --> 00:20:48,001 So, George, I still don't understand. How is that a setup? 401 00:20:48,165 --> 00:20:51,680 Who were you trying to setup anyway? The mechanic or the manager? 402 00:20:51,845 --> 00:20:55,520 I don't know. All of them, they're all crooks. 403 00:20:55,685 --> 00:20:58,358 I couldn't get all different candy bars anyway. 404 00:21:00,965 --> 00:21:01,954 What was that? 405 00:21:02,125 --> 00:21:04,480 I think there's a mental hospital near here. 406 00:21:04,645 --> 00:21:06,522 Yeah, very near. 407 00:21:21,685 --> 00:21:23,835 Well, I think we stopped. 408 00:21:28,005 --> 00:21:29,916 You can probably let go of my hand now. 409 00:21:34,685 --> 00:21:35,834 Well, I'll think about it. 410 00:21:39,045 --> 00:21:41,081 Do you have my card? 411 00:21:44,605 --> 00:21:45,685 A nick el. 412 00:21:45,685 --> 00:21:46,435 A nick el.