1 00:00:03,146 --> 00:00:04,499 - You hanging out? - Yeah, yeah. 2 00:00:46,306 --> 00:00:49,616 Hello? Hello? 3 00:00:49,906 --> 00:00:50,895 You're bad, huh? 4 00:00:51,066 --> 00:00:54,217 I'd like to see you come up here and say that to my face. 5 00:01:06,706 --> 00:01:09,539 So, what's the deal with politics? 6 00:01:10,106 --> 00:01:12,461 I don't get it. Am I right, people? 7 00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:28,016 I don't believe this. 8 00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:40,775 I read somewhere that this Brentano's is the place... 9 00:01:40,946 --> 00:01:42,174 ...to meet girls in New York. 10 00:01:42,346 --> 00:01:45,816 First it was the health club, then the supermarket, now the bookstore. 11 00:01:45,986 --> 00:01:48,819 They can put it anywhere they want. No one's meeting anybody. 12 00:01:49,986 --> 00:01:52,546 Jerry, look at all these pagodas, huh? 13 00:01:52,706 --> 00:01:55,903 I gotta get over to Hong Kong before it all goes back to China. 14 00:01:56,066 --> 00:01:58,136 You better hurry. 15 00:01:58,306 --> 00:01:59,534 I'm gonna hit the head. 16 00:02:00,026 --> 00:02:03,098 Boy, look at this. Hong Kong's outlawed the rickshaw. 17 00:02:03,266 --> 00:02:05,336 I thought those would be perfect for New York. 18 00:02:05,506 --> 00:02:09,340 Yes. The city needs more slow-moving wicker vehicles. 19 00:02:15,986 --> 00:02:17,817 Well, Elaine's been to Hong Kong. 20 00:02:17,986 --> 00:02:19,101 I should give her a call. 21 00:02:19,266 --> 00:02:21,097 She's at that annual Peterman party tonight. 22 00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:22,858 The one she danced at last year. 23 00:02:23,026 --> 00:02:24,744 No, that wasn't dancing. 24 00:02:25,306 --> 00:02:26,625 Hey, there's Leo. 25 00:02:26,786 --> 00:02:28,777 - Oh, who's Leo? - Uncle Leo. 26 00:02:28,946 --> 00:02:31,585 Oh, yeah, right. Uncle Leo. 27 00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:34,142 Forgot his first name. 28 00:02:36,866 --> 00:02:38,936 Did I just see that? 29 00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:43,184 Well, that ought to keep you busy for a couple of days, huh? 30 00:02:47,066 --> 00:02:50,138 So, Elaine, are you gonna dance this year? 31 00:02:50,946 --> 00:02:53,824 Maybe. All over your face. 32 00:02:57,026 --> 00:02:59,176 If you do dance, the cooks wanna know, 33 00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,177 so they can be brought out of the kitchen. 34 00:03:01,346 --> 00:03:02,699 They missed it last year. 35 00:03:06,306 --> 00:03:08,183 My friends, a toast. 36 00:03:08,346 --> 00:03:12,464 As the woolly-haired Melanesians of Papua New Guinea once said: 37 00:03:18,146 --> 00:03:20,057 All right. Who's dancing? 38 00:03:21,146 --> 00:03:25,344 No? All right, I'll just have to get things started. 39 00:03:35,066 --> 00:03:36,181 Hi, I'm Zach. 40 00:03:36,386 --> 00:03:38,581 Hi. I'm miserable. 41 00:03:47,506 --> 00:03:49,781 Excuse me, sir. What are you doing? 42 00:03:50,826 --> 00:03:52,384 I'm all set. 43 00:03:53,306 --> 00:03:56,104 Did you take that book with you into the bathroom? 44 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,737 What do you want to hear? 45 00:04:03,066 --> 00:04:06,058 They made me buy it. A hundred bucks, this thing cost me. 46 00:04:06,226 --> 00:04:07,705 How dare they. 47 00:04:07,866 --> 00:04:11,700 I got news for you. If it wasn't for the toilet, there would be no books. 48 00:04:11,866 --> 00:04:15,541 Yeah, I understand Gutenberg used to spend a fair amount of time in there. 49 00:04:15,706 --> 00:04:17,742 They're selling coffee, bran muffins. 50 00:04:17,906 --> 00:04:19,703 You're surrounded by reading material. 51 00:04:19,866 --> 00:04:21,936 It's entrapment. 52 00:04:23,026 --> 00:04:24,618 "French Impressionist Paintings"? 53 00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:27,505 I find the soothing pastoral images very conducive... 54 00:04:27,666 --> 00:04:30,226 Thank you very much. 55 00:04:30,386 --> 00:04:33,901 I'm gonna go back there and return it when there's different people working. 56 00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:37,103 - You wanna catch a movie? - I can't. I'm meeting Uncle Leo. 57 00:04:37,266 --> 00:04:39,382 I saw him shoplifting at the bookstore. 58 00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:41,901 All right, Leo. Sticking it to the man. 59 00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:48,784 - Sleeping in the car again? - Cocktail flu. 60 00:04:48,946 --> 00:04:50,425 Oh, right, the big party. 61 00:04:50,586 --> 00:04:54,465 You didn't dance again, did you? 62 00:04:55,146 --> 00:04:56,545 No. 63 00:04:56,706 --> 00:04:59,903 I found a better way to humiliate myself. 64 00:05:00,386 --> 00:05:03,139 There was this guy and we had a few too many. 65 00:05:03,306 --> 00:05:04,898 - You went home with him? - Worse. 66 00:05:05,066 --> 00:05:09,184 We made out at the table like our plane was going down. 67 00:05:10,746 --> 00:05:13,783 Oh, the drunken make- out. An office classic. 68 00:05:13,946 --> 00:05:16,176 Did you end up Xeroxing anything? 69 00:05:16,346 --> 00:05:19,941 Do you know how embarrassing this is to someone in my position? 70 00:05:20,106 --> 00:05:23,621 - What is your position? - I'm an associate. 71 00:05:23,786 --> 00:05:26,664 - Hey, me too. - Yeah, me too. 72 00:05:27,866 --> 00:05:30,426 Oh, God. Why did I do this? 73 00:05:30,586 --> 00:05:33,180 Now, I'm the office skank. 74 00:05:33,946 --> 00:05:36,176 Well, unless, you tell everybody you're dating. 75 00:05:36,346 --> 00:05:38,735 Oh, right. 76 00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:41,625 Because if we're dating, what everyone saw was just... 77 00:05:41,786 --> 00:05:45,142 ...a beautiful moment between two lovers. 78 00:05:45,306 --> 00:05:49,458 As opposed to a spirited bout of skanko-Roman wrestling. 79 00:05:51,546 --> 00:05:52,740 Bravo. 80 00:05:58,106 --> 00:06:02,418 Oh, hey. Can I fix you fellas some drinks and sandwiches? 81 00:06:02,586 --> 00:06:03,621 No, we've already eaten. 82 00:06:03,786 --> 00:06:05,981 But you can clear some of this stuff out of the way. 83 00:06:06,146 --> 00:06:07,704 Jerry, check this out. 84 00:06:07,866 --> 00:06:10,096 Remember my idea about rickshaws in New York? 85 00:06:10,266 --> 00:06:13,702 - Well, we're gonna make it happen. - No, you're not. 86 00:06:13,866 --> 00:06:16,824 Well, Newman, he knows a guy in the Hong Kong post office. 87 00:06:16,986 --> 00:06:18,419 No, he doesn't. 88 00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:20,338 He's shipping a rickshaw. It can't miss. 89 00:06:20,506 --> 00:06:22,178 Yes, it can. 90 00:06:22,346 --> 00:06:23,495 We'll start out with one. 91 00:06:23,666 --> 00:06:25,975 When it catches on we're gonna have a whole fleet. 92 00:06:26,146 --> 00:06:28,660 It's the romance of the hansom cab without the guilt... 93 00:06:28,826 --> 00:06:31,181 ...or dander of the equine. 94 00:06:31,626 --> 00:06:33,662 So who's gonna pull this thing? 95 00:06:36,506 --> 00:06:39,384 - Well, I just assumed you would. - Yeah, but I thought... 96 00:06:41,506 --> 00:06:44,179 My, isn't this an awkward moment? 97 00:06:44,546 --> 00:06:46,264 Wait a minute. 98 00:06:46,426 --> 00:06:48,701 What about the homeless? 99 00:06:49,786 --> 00:06:51,538 Can't we worry about them later? 100 00:06:51,706 --> 00:06:53,458 To pull the rickshaw. 101 00:06:54,186 --> 00:06:56,177 They have an intimate knowledge of the street. 102 00:06:56,346 --> 00:06:58,098 Always walking around the city. 103 00:06:58,266 --> 00:07:01,019 Why not just strap something to them? 104 00:07:01,946 --> 00:07:05,575 Now, that's the first sensible idea I've heard all day. 105 00:07:08,986 --> 00:07:10,738 Jerry, hello. 106 00:07:10,906 --> 00:07:13,943 So, Leo, how's everything? You doing okay? 107 00:07:14,106 --> 00:07:17,143 I still have the ringing in the ears. Sounds like the phone. 108 00:07:17,306 --> 00:07:18,944 Yeah, yeah, but what about money? 109 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,744 Are you strapped? Do you need a little? 110 00:07:20,906 --> 00:07:24,262 Are you kidding? I should be loaning you money. 111 00:07:24,426 --> 00:07:25,779 But I'm not. 112 00:07:26,986 --> 00:07:30,501 Leo, I saw you in Brentano's yesterday. 113 00:07:30,666 --> 00:07:31,781 Why didn't you say hello? 114 00:07:31,946 --> 00:07:34,096 Because you were too busy stealing a book. 115 00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:37,260 You still say hello. 116 00:07:37,946 --> 00:07:39,982 Leo, I saw you steal. 117 00:07:40,146 --> 00:07:42,819 Oh, they don't care. We all do it. 118 00:07:42,986 --> 00:07:44,101 Who, criminals? 119 00:07:44,266 --> 00:07:47,702 Senior citizens. No big deal. 120 00:07:47,866 --> 00:07:51,939 - You could get arrested. - Arrested? Come on. 121 00:07:52,186 --> 00:07:55,383 I'm an old man. I'm confused. I thought I paid for it. 122 00:07:55,706 --> 00:07:57,742 What's my name? Could you take me home? 123 00:07:57,906 --> 00:07:59,544 Leo. 124 00:07:59,706 --> 00:08:02,504 All right, all right, Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes. 125 00:08:02,666 --> 00:08:04,463 - You made your point. - Thank you. 126 00:08:04,626 --> 00:08:07,857 Will somebody answer that damn phone. 127 00:08:10,266 --> 00:08:12,177 Of course Zach and I have been dating. 128 00:08:12,346 --> 00:08:14,496 What did you think? I was the office skank? 129 00:08:14,666 --> 00:08:15,655 Well... 130 00:08:15,826 --> 00:08:17,942 Well? We've been dating for three months... 131 00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:21,781 ...between you and me and anyone else you wanna tell. 132 00:08:23,626 --> 00:08:25,776 Oh, man. 133 00:08:27,426 --> 00:08:29,462 - Isn't that Zach? - Yeah. 134 00:08:29,626 --> 00:08:30,900 Aren't you upset? 135 00:08:31,706 --> 00:08:35,779 Yes. Oh, man. 136 00:08:38,706 --> 00:08:42,016 All right, listen up. Now, you three have been hand-picked... 137 00:08:42,186 --> 00:08:44,939 ...out of possibly dozens who applied. 138 00:08:45,106 --> 00:08:47,222 Now, what we're looking for are motivated... 139 00:08:47,386 --> 00:08:52,255 ...hard-working, homeless gentlemen, like yourselves, to pull rickshaws. 140 00:08:52,426 --> 00:08:54,894 Now, I don't care where you're from, or how you got here... 141 00:08:55,066 --> 00:08:59,059 ...or what happened to your homes, but you will have to be physically fit. 142 00:09:00,626 --> 00:09:02,025 The government. 143 00:09:02,546 --> 00:09:05,504 Because to pull rickshaws requires more than just strong legs. 144 00:09:05,666 --> 00:09:08,419 You're also gonna need a well-toned upper body... 145 00:09:10,426 --> 00:09:12,018 ...or a shirt. 146 00:09:12,186 --> 00:09:13,460 All right, who's first? 147 00:09:17,026 --> 00:09:18,425 - Name, please? - Rusty. 148 00:09:18,586 --> 00:09:19,621 Rusty. 149 00:09:19,786 --> 00:09:22,858 You know, I once knew a horse named Rusty. No offence. 150 00:09:23,026 --> 00:09:25,301 All right, now. Take it down to the end of the block. 151 00:09:25,466 --> 00:09:28,344 Make a controlled turn and bring her back. Let's see what you got. 152 00:09:28,506 --> 00:09:31,020 - Okay, ready and go. - Giddyup. 153 00:09:31,186 --> 00:09:32,255 Good form. 154 00:09:32,426 --> 00:09:35,782 Pace yourself. You're gonna have to do this all day for very little money. 155 00:09:36,946 --> 00:09:39,699 - Hey, what's he doing? - I think he's stealing our rickshaw. 156 00:09:41,946 --> 00:09:43,777 Well, then he's out. 157 00:09:44,426 --> 00:09:47,384 I'll take the job. Potato salad. 158 00:09:52,146 --> 00:09:54,899 Yes, I need to return this book. 159 00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:57,704 I'm sorry, we can't take this book back. 160 00:09:57,866 --> 00:09:59,777 - Why not? - It's been flagged. 161 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:03,064 - Flagged? - It's been in the bathroom. 162 00:10:04,186 --> 00:10:05,460 It says that on the computer? 163 00:10:05,626 --> 00:10:06,854 Please take it home. 164 00:10:07,026 --> 00:10:09,142 We don't want it near the other books. 165 00:10:09,946 --> 00:10:14,337 Well, you just lost a lot of business because I love to read. 166 00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:20,619 I don't believe this. 167 00:10:23,426 --> 00:10:24,939 I wonder if you could do me a favour. 168 00:10:25,106 --> 00:10:27,540 My uncle's having a little problem with shoplifting. 169 00:10:27,706 --> 00:10:28,775 Where's your uncle? 170 00:10:29,346 --> 00:10:30,984 He's over there in the overcoat. 171 00:10:31,146 --> 00:10:33,944 If you could just kind of put a scare into him. Set him straight. 172 00:10:34,106 --> 00:10:38,418 We have a 5150 in paperbacks. All units respond. 173 00:10:38,586 --> 00:10:40,099 Roger. Ten-four. 174 00:10:40,266 --> 00:10:41,984 5150. That's just a scare, right? 175 00:10:42,146 --> 00:10:44,341 I'm gonna have to ask you to stand out of the way... 176 00:10:44,506 --> 00:10:46,417 ...and let us handle this. 177 00:10:46,986 --> 00:10:48,339 Swarm. Swarm. 178 00:10:48,826 --> 00:10:50,339 What? 179 00:10:50,946 --> 00:10:54,177 - I'm an old man. I'm confused. - You're under arrest. 180 00:10:54,346 --> 00:10:55,859 I just wanted you to scare him. 181 00:10:56,026 --> 00:10:57,937 Jerry, you ratted me out. 182 00:10:58,466 --> 00:10:59,945 Hello? 183 00:11:00,666 --> 00:11:02,258 Hello. 184 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,418 Mom, I didn't rat out Uncle Leo. 185 00:11:08,826 --> 00:11:11,340 I just wanted the guard to scare him straight. 186 00:11:11,506 --> 00:11:13,542 Jerry, he won't last a day in prison. 187 00:11:14,106 --> 00:11:16,779 Prison? I'm sure it's just a fine. 188 00:11:16,946 --> 00:11:18,015 He's got priors. 189 00:11:18,506 --> 00:11:20,576 Prior convictions? Leo? 190 00:11:20,746 --> 00:11:23,214 It was a crime of passion. Leave it alone. 191 00:11:24,346 --> 00:11:27,304 Besides, it's not stealing if it's something you need. 192 00:11:27,466 --> 00:11:30,219 - What does that mean? - Nobody pays for everything. 193 00:11:30,386 --> 00:11:33,458 You're stealing too? What are you stealing? 194 00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:34,775 Nothing. 195 00:11:34,946 --> 00:11:38,063 Batteries. Well, they wear out so quick. 196 00:11:38,226 --> 00:11:39,545 Mom, you too? 197 00:11:39,706 --> 00:11:43,221 Sometimes your father forgets, so I have to steal them. 198 00:11:44,826 --> 00:11:46,544 All right, I'll talk to you later. 199 00:11:48,226 --> 00:11:50,421 Well, the rickshaw's gone. 200 00:11:50,586 --> 00:11:53,783 We strapped it to a homeless guy and he bolted. 201 00:11:55,546 --> 00:11:58,663 Well, you know, 85 percent of all homeless-rickshaw businesses fail... 202 00:11:58,826 --> 00:12:00,418 ...within the first three months. 203 00:12:00,906 --> 00:12:02,737 We should've got some collateral from him. 204 00:12:02,906 --> 00:12:08,139 Like his bag of cans, or his other bag of cans. 205 00:12:08,506 --> 00:12:11,384 We gotta find that rickshaw. You check the sewers and Dumpsters. 206 00:12:11,546 --> 00:12:14,663 I'll hit the soup kitchens, bakeries and smorgasbords. 207 00:12:15,506 --> 00:12:17,622 To the idiot-mobile. 208 00:12:19,746 --> 00:12:22,579 So even though you're not really going out with this guy, he's... 209 00:12:22,746 --> 00:12:25,214 ...cheating on you. - That is correct. 210 00:12:25,386 --> 00:12:27,058 But here's the beauty part. 211 00:12:27,226 --> 00:12:32,016 Now, I stand up for myself by telling everybody I'm dumping his sorry ass... 212 00:12:32,186 --> 00:12:34,825 ...and I'm the office... 213 00:12:34,986 --> 00:12:37,341 - Tina Turner? - All right. 214 00:12:38,746 --> 00:12:41,544 Well, I've been to every Brentano's. 215 00:12:42,226 --> 00:12:45,616 This thing is flagged in every database in town. 216 00:12:45,786 --> 00:12:49,142 Is it so horrible to have to keep a book? 217 00:12:49,746 --> 00:12:51,543 I don't understand what the big deal is. 218 00:12:51,706 --> 00:12:53,264 They let you try on pants. 219 00:12:53,426 --> 00:12:55,382 Not underpants. 220 00:12:56,226 --> 00:12:59,855 - Hey, that's your Uncle Leo. - Uncle Leo. Hello. 221 00:13:00,026 --> 00:13:01,982 - Jerry. - Uncle Leo. 222 00:13:02,146 --> 00:13:06,185 I'm sorry. I didn't know about your past. 223 00:13:06,346 --> 00:13:09,144 You mean my crime of passion? 224 00:13:09,426 --> 00:13:11,701 If anyone betrays me, I never forget. 225 00:13:12,466 --> 00:13:15,026 Uncle Leo. Wait. Hello. 226 00:13:17,106 --> 00:13:20,496 French lmpressionism. Oh, I love this. 227 00:13:20,666 --> 00:13:22,702 Now, what is the problem with this book? 228 00:13:23,546 --> 00:13:26,014 - Nothing. - How much you want for it? 229 00:13:26,186 --> 00:13:29,576 You know, I could let it go for, say, a hundred and twenty-five. 230 00:13:30,106 --> 00:13:33,781 Leo's furious. What is that doing on the table? 231 00:13:34,986 --> 00:13:36,658 Jerry. Simmer down. 232 00:13:36,826 --> 00:13:40,023 I'm not eating anything in the vicinity of that book. 233 00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:42,700 - What is wrong with this book? - Simmer. 234 00:13:42,866 --> 00:13:46,825 That book has been on a wild ride. George took into the bathroom... 235 00:13:46,986 --> 00:13:49,944 ...at Brentano's... - All right. Everyone clear. 236 00:13:50,106 --> 00:13:53,940 Biohazard, coming through. Clear. Clear. 237 00:13:56,706 --> 00:13:58,742 May I ask... 238 00:13:59,146 --> 00:14:01,102 ...what do you read in the bathroom? 239 00:14:01,306 --> 00:14:03,217 I don't read in the bathroom. 240 00:14:03,866 --> 00:14:07,017 Well, aren't you something? 241 00:14:09,786 --> 00:14:11,139 Elaine, do you have a moment? 242 00:14:11,466 --> 00:14:13,104 It's about your lover. 243 00:14:13,466 --> 00:14:18,096 Oh, yes, I know all about his little performance in the break room. 244 00:14:18,266 --> 00:14:21,463 Elaine. Who among us hasn't snuck into the break room... 245 00:14:21,626 --> 00:14:23,856 ...to nibble on a love newton? 246 00:14:24,986 --> 00:14:26,704 Love newton? 247 00:14:27,306 --> 00:14:29,945 I'm afraid the problem with Zach is more serious. 248 00:14:30,106 --> 00:14:31,858 He's back on the horse, Elaine. 249 00:14:32,026 --> 00:14:34,335 Smack. White palace. 250 00:14:34,506 --> 00:14:37,145 The Chinaman's nightcap. 251 00:14:37,306 --> 00:14:40,981 An addict. Well, it just keeps getting better. 252 00:14:41,146 --> 00:14:44,058 And in a tiny way I almost feel responsible. 253 00:14:44,226 --> 00:14:47,855 I'm the one who sent him to Thailand in search of low-cost whistles... 254 00:14:48,026 --> 00:14:52,816 ...filled his head with pseudo-erotic tales of my own opium excursions. 255 00:14:52,986 --> 00:14:54,863 Plus, I gave him phone numbers of places... 256 00:14:55,026 --> 00:14:56,823 ...he could score near the hotel. 257 00:14:57,266 --> 00:14:59,063 Look, Mr. Peterman... 258 00:14:59,226 --> 00:15:02,696 ...the fact is, is that I was planning on breaking up with Zach anyway. 259 00:15:02,866 --> 00:15:04,299 He was cheating on me. 260 00:15:04,466 --> 00:15:06,616 Damn it, Elaine, that wasn't Zach. 261 00:15:06,786 --> 00:15:08,504 That was the yam-yam. 262 00:15:09,906 --> 00:15:12,818 Now, he is going cold turkey and you will be at his side. 263 00:15:12,986 --> 00:15:16,695 - Oh, well, you know, I had planned... - No buts, Elaine... 264 00:15:16,866 --> 00:15:19,221 ...or I will strip you of your associate status. 265 00:15:20,306 --> 00:15:22,103 Oh, P. S... 266 00:15:22,266 --> 00:15:24,461 ...the first 24 hours are the worst. 267 00:15:24,626 --> 00:15:26,662 Better bring a poncho. 268 00:15:29,586 --> 00:15:32,339 It was a crime of passion. 269 00:15:32,506 --> 00:15:35,339 If anyone betrays me, I never forget. 270 00:15:35,506 --> 00:15:37,656 He won't last a day in prison. 271 00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:48,338 Jerry. 272 00:15:49,786 --> 00:15:51,378 Hello. 273 00:15:52,026 --> 00:15:53,015 Jerry. 274 00:15:54,346 --> 00:15:56,701 Hello. Jerry. 275 00:15:56,866 --> 00:15:59,175 Answer that damn phone. 276 00:16:03,866 --> 00:16:05,936 - Hello? - Hey, it's me. 277 00:16:06,146 --> 00:16:08,614 - Uncle Leo? - Oh, that's nice. 278 00:16:08,786 --> 00:16:09,775 What are you up to? 279 00:16:09,946 --> 00:16:11,982 Nightmares. You? 280 00:16:12,146 --> 00:16:14,944 My fake boyfriend is going through real withdrawals. 281 00:16:15,106 --> 00:16:18,860 - I'm burning up. - Eat your soup. 282 00:16:19,026 --> 00:16:21,824 - You're not feeding him, are you? - Why? 283 00:16:22,466 --> 00:16:26,220 I told you, away from the curtains. Away. 284 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:27,978 Use your bucket. 285 00:16:28,146 --> 00:16:31,024 There you go, that's it. Okay, you know what? I gotta go. 286 00:16:37,946 --> 00:16:39,777 Hey, buddy. 287 00:16:39,946 --> 00:16:41,459 - Kramer. - Thought I heard you. 288 00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:44,060 - Get out of here. - Hey, Kramer. There you are. 289 00:16:44,226 --> 00:16:46,535 Will everybody please leave? 290 00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:49,379 I just heard a postman spotted a rickshaw down in Battery Park. 291 00:16:49,546 --> 00:16:51,025 - Our rickshaw? - It's possible. 292 00:16:51,186 --> 00:16:53,620 I want everyone out. 293 00:16:53,786 --> 00:16:56,505 Hey, let's talk in Jerry's kitchen. I'll make some cocoa. 294 00:16:58,906 --> 00:17:00,339 Goodnight, Jerry. 295 00:17:01,786 --> 00:17:04,016 Goodnight, Newman. 296 00:17:07,546 --> 00:17:09,423 - There it is. - Rusty. 297 00:17:10,146 --> 00:17:12,740 Oh, there you are. Oh, do I get the job? 298 00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:14,737 Yeah, yeah, we'll get back to you. 299 00:17:15,386 --> 00:17:17,536 Let's get this baby home. 300 00:17:20,586 --> 00:17:22,656 - What? - You know, when you think about it... 301 00:17:22,826 --> 00:17:27,502 ...it's kind of silly for us both to pull this thing all the way back up town. 302 00:17:27,666 --> 00:17:30,863 I mean, after all, it is a conveyance. 303 00:17:31,026 --> 00:17:32,778 Yes, that's true. 304 00:17:32,946 --> 00:17:36,018 So which one of us is gonna pull? 305 00:17:36,786 --> 00:17:38,583 There's only one way to settle this. 306 00:17:38,746 --> 00:17:42,375 One spot, two spot, zigzag, tear, pop-dye, penny got, tennyum, tear... 307 00:17:42,546 --> 00:17:45,777 ...harum-scarum, rip them, tear them, te, ta, toe. 308 00:17:45,946 --> 00:17:47,015 Yeah. 309 00:17:47,666 --> 00:17:49,941 Best two out of three. One spot, two spot... 310 00:17:50,506 --> 00:17:54,419 Hey, boy. Smooth it out up there. Too much jostling. 311 00:17:57,146 --> 00:17:59,341 So you wanna donate this to charity? 312 00:17:59,506 --> 00:18:02,100 Well, I assume there's some sort of write- off. 313 00:18:02,266 --> 00:18:05,941 - What's the value of the book? - About $200, Miss DeMooney. 314 00:18:06,106 --> 00:18:08,779 It's DeMornay. Rebecca DeMornay. 315 00:18:10,986 --> 00:18:13,056 Oh, wait a second. 316 00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:15,137 This book has been in a bathroom. 317 00:18:15,586 --> 00:18:19,340 What are you talking about? That's ridiculous. 318 00:18:19,506 --> 00:18:23,215 It's been flagged. I know. I used to work in a Brentano's. 319 00:18:23,586 --> 00:18:26,544 Mister, we're trying to help the homeless here. It's bad enough... 320 00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:30,176 ...that we have some nut out there trying to strap them to a rickshaw. 321 00:18:31,306 --> 00:18:34,537 All right. I'll just take 50. Do we have a deal? 322 00:18:34,706 --> 00:18:37,140 Yeah and here it is. 323 00:18:37,306 --> 00:18:40,935 You get your toilet book out of here and I won't jump over this counter... 324 00:18:41,106 --> 00:18:43,062 ...and punch you in the brain. 325 00:18:43,226 --> 00:18:46,218 - I could take it in merchandise. - Here I come. 326 00:18:49,466 --> 00:18:52,902 So this book will tell me how to get puke out of cashmere? 327 00:18:53,546 --> 00:18:56,344 - Yeah. - Great. 328 00:18:57,146 --> 00:18:58,864 - So the worst is over? - Yeah. 329 00:18:59,026 --> 00:19:00,982 Now I can break up with him. 330 00:19:01,146 --> 00:19:03,501 He's clean and I'm the office hero. 331 00:19:03,666 --> 00:19:05,861 You're better at fake relationships than real ones. 332 00:19:06,026 --> 00:19:10,383 Yeah. I even got an idea out of it. The detox poncho. 333 00:19:11,706 --> 00:19:13,424 I'll see you. 334 00:19:13,746 --> 00:19:15,976 I'd like to speak with the manager, please. 335 00:19:16,466 --> 00:19:18,980 Mind your pace, boy. Chop-chop. 336 00:19:19,706 --> 00:19:22,584 Well, I've hit the wall. I gotta take a break. 337 00:19:23,026 --> 00:19:25,620 Well, don't tarry, I'm behind schedule as it is. 338 00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:28,977 Boy. Boy. 339 00:19:29,146 --> 00:19:31,023 Kramer! 340 00:19:36,946 --> 00:19:40,780 Well, this is the first day of the rest of my life. 341 00:19:59,946 --> 00:20:01,379 George, what are you doing here? 342 00:20:02,226 --> 00:20:04,899 I can't sell the book. It's been marked. 343 00:20:05,066 --> 00:20:06,977 It certainly has. 344 00:20:08,506 --> 00:20:11,703 So I'm gonna steal another one and then I'm gonna return it. 345 00:20:11,866 --> 00:20:13,902 That way, everything is even. 346 00:20:14,066 --> 00:20:18,582 You defile one book, steal another, ask for your money back... 347 00:20:18,746 --> 00:20:20,498 ...and to you that's even. 348 00:20:21,706 --> 00:20:23,105 I'm going in. 349 00:20:24,186 --> 00:20:25,858 Did you want to speak to the manager? 350 00:20:26,026 --> 00:20:28,984 Yes. My Uncle Leo was caught shoplifting here the other day. 351 00:20:29,146 --> 00:20:32,058 Yes. Uncle Leo. I remember him. 352 00:20:32,226 --> 00:20:34,979 I'm sorry. Our policy is we prosecute all shoplifters. 353 00:20:35,146 --> 00:20:38,343 Oh, come on. He's just a lonely old man. All old people steal. 354 00:20:38,506 --> 00:20:41,862 That's right. That's why we stopped carrying batteries. 355 00:20:42,026 --> 00:20:43,061 I'll be honest with you. 356 00:20:43,226 --> 00:20:45,786 We've had trouble with theft lately and my boss said... 357 00:20:45,946 --> 00:20:47,664 ...I have to make an example of someone. 358 00:20:47,826 --> 00:20:49,942 - So it could be anyone? - Well, I guess. 359 00:20:50,106 --> 00:20:52,336 As long as we catch him in the act. 360 00:20:54,666 --> 00:20:57,624 That guy. Swarm. Swarm. 361 00:20:58,426 --> 00:21:01,145 No! Jerry!