1 00:00:03,666 --> 00:00:06,134 It seems like whenever people call you in for a meeting... 2 00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:09,821 ...it's all about sitting down. " I would really like to sit down with you." 3 00:00:09,986 --> 00:00:11,863 "I think we need to sit down and talk." 4 00:00:12,026 --> 00:00:14,665 "Why don't you come in and we'll sit down?" 5 00:00:14,826 --> 00:00:17,465 Sometimes sitting doesn't work. People get mad at the sitting. 6 00:00:17,626 --> 00:00:20,698 "You know, we've been sitting here for I don't know how long. 7 00:00:20,866 --> 00:00:23,983 How much longer are we just gonna sit here?" 8 00:00:24,146 --> 00:00:28,139 I'll tell you what I think we should do. I think we should all sleep on it. 9 00:00:28,306 --> 00:00:30,945 Maybe we're not getting down low enough. 10 00:00:31,106 --> 00:00:34,860 Maybe if we all lie down, then our brains will work. 11 00:00:40,706 --> 00:00:43,015 I can't eat this without ketchup. 12 00:00:45,266 --> 00:00:48,417 Would it kill her to check up on us? Would that be a terrible thing? 13 00:00:48,586 --> 00:00:51,180 "How's everything? You need anything? What can I do for you?" 14 00:00:51,346 --> 00:00:52,620 - I know what you mean. - Do you? 15 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,697 It's like going out with someone and not hearing back. 16 00:00:54,866 --> 00:00:57,505 - Same thing. - Not really, but it's something. 17 00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:00,898 Ask the people behind you. 18 00:01:01,826 --> 00:01:05,296 Excuse me. Are you using your ketchup? 19 00:01:06,506 --> 00:01:08,736 What do you think? You wanna give him the ketchup? 20 00:01:09,746 --> 00:01:11,338 It's up to you. 21 00:01:12,226 --> 00:01:16,219 You know what? I don't think so. I'm gonna need it from time to time. 22 00:01:21,506 --> 00:01:22,985 You wanna go to the movies? 23 00:01:23,146 --> 00:01:24,374 What for? 24 00:01:24,546 --> 00:01:25,899 To see a movie. 25 00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:28,616 - I've been to the movies. - Not this movie. 26 00:01:28,786 --> 00:01:29,855 They're all the same. 27 00:01:30,026 --> 00:01:32,460 You go, you sit, you eat popcorn, you watch. 28 00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:34,218 I'm sick of it. 29 00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:36,183 - Did you take a shower today? - Yeah. 30 00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:38,701 That's the kind of mood I'm in when I haven't showered. 31 00:01:39,066 --> 00:01:40,624 When is it gonna be my turn, Jerry? 32 00:01:40,786 --> 00:01:42,265 When do I get my 15 minutes? 33 00:01:42,426 --> 00:01:44,462 - I want my 15 minutes. - Oh, quit complaining. 34 00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:46,742 - You have your health. - Health's not good enough. 35 00:01:46,906 --> 00:01:48,134 I want more than health. 36 00:01:48,306 --> 00:01:50,866 Health's not doing it for me anymore. I'm sick of health. 37 00:01:52,026 --> 00:01:54,256 All right, we're done. You can have it now. 38 00:01:54,426 --> 00:01:55,825 Oh, very gracious. 39 00:02:04,786 --> 00:02:06,378 - Nice day. - Yeah. 40 00:02:06,546 --> 00:02:08,059 What is that? 41 00:02:09,266 --> 00:02:10,938 - Hey, Jo Jo. - Hey, hey. 42 00:02:11,106 --> 00:02:12,425 Hey. 43 00:02:14,266 --> 00:02:17,099 - All right, thanks for the ride, Kramer. - No, thank you. 44 00:02:17,306 --> 00:02:18,705 - So, what are you doing? - Nothing. 45 00:02:18,866 --> 00:02:21,096 - Come on, let's go to the beach. - Are you crazy? 46 00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:23,496 - No, it's a beautiful day. - Have a good time. 47 00:02:23,666 --> 00:02:25,816 Yeah, there's something in the air today. 48 00:02:25,986 --> 00:02:27,977 Can you feel it? There's something in the air. 49 00:02:28,146 --> 00:02:30,660 You know you're turning into Burt Lancaster? 50 00:02:30,986 --> 00:02:33,705 Yeah, there's something in the air. 51 00:02:35,226 --> 00:02:37,865 Oh, I forgot to call Jill. 52 00:02:39,666 --> 00:02:41,384 Jill. Hi, it's Elaine. 53 00:02:41,546 --> 00:02:44,219 How is your father? Is everything okay? 54 00:02:44,946 --> 00:02:46,379 What? 55 00:02:46,906 --> 00:02:49,340 I can't hear you so good. There's a lot of static. 56 00:02:50,066 --> 00:02:53,456 Wha...? I'm gonna call you back. 57 00:02:53,906 --> 00:02:57,535 Jill's father is in the hospital, and you call to ask about him on a cell phone? 58 00:02:57,786 --> 00:02:59,583 - What? No good? - Faux pas. 59 00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:01,896 - Faux pas? - Big, hefty, stinking... 60 00:03:02,066 --> 00:03:04,102 ...faux pas. - Why? 61 00:03:04,266 --> 00:03:06,336 You can't make a health enquiry on a cell phone. 62 00:03:06,506 --> 00:03:09,418 It's like saying, " I don't wanna take up my important time at home. 63 00:03:09,586 --> 00:03:11,338 I'll get it out of the way on the street." 64 00:03:11,506 --> 00:03:14,816 And the street cell phone call is the lowest phone call you can make. 65 00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:17,216 It's an act of total disregard. It's selfish. 66 00:03:17,386 --> 00:03:19,058 - It's dismissive. - It's pompous. 67 00:03:19,226 --> 00:03:21,581 Why don't you think before you do something? 68 00:03:23,186 --> 00:03:24,938 Here's a thought. 69 00:03:25,386 --> 00:03:26,705 Bye- bye. 70 00:03:28,866 --> 00:03:30,697 Too much? 71 00:03:35,346 --> 00:03:38,144 Boy, I'm really surprised at Elaine. 72 00:03:38,306 --> 00:03:39,978 You know, that whole phone business. 73 00:03:40,146 --> 00:03:42,216 She should know better than that. 74 00:03:43,946 --> 00:03:46,335 - Hey, hey, hey. - What? 75 00:03:46,506 --> 00:03:48,622 Where do you think this relationship is? 76 00:03:50,546 --> 00:03:54,221 If you are thinking of instituting an open door urination policy... 77 00:03:54,746 --> 00:03:58,455 ...let me disabuse you of that notion right now, my friend. 78 00:03:58,626 --> 00:04:00,423 - You're so uptight. - Yeah, I'm uptight. 79 00:04:00,586 --> 00:04:03,384 Let's all just have a big pee party. 80 00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:06,215 Hey, everybody, grab a bucket. We're going up to Jerry's. 81 00:04:06,386 --> 00:04:08,342 It's a pee party. 82 00:04:12,666 --> 00:04:14,065 Jerry, this is Elizabeth Clark... 83 00:04:14,226 --> 00:04:16,296 ... calling from James Kimbrough's office at NBC. 84 00:04:16,466 --> 00:04:19,264 Could you please give us a call? Thanks. 85 00:04:25,706 --> 00:04:27,264 Hello. Hi. This is Jerry Seinfeld... 86 00:04:27,426 --> 00:04:29,382 ...calling for James Kimbrough. 87 00:04:30,346 --> 00:04:31,335 Hello? 88 00:04:31,506 --> 00:04:32,780 Hi. 89 00:04:35,146 --> 00:04:36,625 Really? 90 00:04:37,266 --> 00:04:39,700 No problem. Definitely. 91 00:04:39,866 --> 00:04:42,699 Okay. Bye- bye. 92 00:04:44,026 --> 00:04:46,540 - That was James Kimbrough. - Who's he? 93 00:04:46,706 --> 00:04:48,776 He is the new president of NBC. 94 00:04:49,586 --> 00:04:52,305 He wants to sit down with us and talk about Jerry. 95 00:04:52,506 --> 00:04:54,383 - Our show, Jerry? - Right. 96 00:04:54,946 --> 00:04:55,935 Jerry? Oh, my God... 97 00:04:56,106 --> 00:04:57,585 ...he wants to talk about Jerry? - Yeah. 98 00:04:57,746 --> 00:04:59,464 - When? - Today, like right now. 99 00:04:59,626 --> 00:05:00,661 Right now? 100 00:05:00,826 --> 00:05:01,975 - Jerry? - Jerry. 101 00:05:02,146 --> 00:05:04,501 - He wants to talk about Jerry? - He wants to talk about Jerry. 102 00:05:04,666 --> 00:05:05,655 - Jerry. - Jerry. 103 00:05:05,826 --> 00:05:07,305 - Can I go like this? - Sure. 104 00:05:07,466 --> 00:05:10,185 No sports jacket? I don't need one? Writers wear sports jackets. 105 00:05:10,346 --> 00:05:12,064 - Forget it. - I won't feel like a writer. 106 00:05:12,226 --> 00:05:14,296 - You're not a writer. - Right. 107 00:05:22,386 --> 00:05:23,865 Water. 108 00:05:25,386 --> 00:05:27,138 Need some water. 109 00:05:28,586 --> 00:05:29,814 Water here. 110 00:05:30,226 --> 00:05:33,536 Okay, now, listen. I don't want any scenes in here like the last time. 111 00:05:33,706 --> 00:05:35,662 - Don't worry. No scenes. - Don't blow this. 112 00:05:35,826 --> 00:05:36,861 I will not blow this. 113 00:05:37,026 --> 00:05:40,223 If he says he doesn't want it to be a show about nothing, don't go nuts. 114 00:05:40,386 --> 00:05:42,854 - It doesn't have to be. - He might not want nothing. 115 00:05:43,026 --> 00:05:44,584 Something, nothing. I could care less. 116 00:05:44,746 --> 00:05:46,464 He might want a show about everything. 117 00:05:46,626 --> 00:05:49,220 Anything. Everything. Something. Nothing. Who the hell cares? 118 00:05:49,386 --> 00:05:51,820 - Put me down. I'm down. - All right. 119 00:05:51,986 --> 00:05:54,022 Mr. Kimbrough is ready to see you. 120 00:05:54,866 --> 00:05:57,061 - Magic time. - What? 121 00:05:58,986 --> 00:05:59,975 Mr. Kimbrough. 122 00:06:00,146 --> 00:06:01,374 - Hey, Jerry. - Hello. 123 00:06:01,546 --> 00:06:02,535 Hey, hey, hey. 124 00:06:02,706 --> 00:06:04,901 - How you been? - Good. You remember George. 125 00:06:05,306 --> 00:06:07,058 - George, good to see you. - Hello, Stu. 126 00:06:07,226 --> 00:06:08,454 You remember Jay Crespi. 127 00:06:08,626 --> 00:06:12,141 Jay Crespi. I'm gonna forget Jay Crespi, huh? 128 00:06:12,306 --> 00:06:14,262 - This is James Kimbrough. - Nice to meet you. 129 00:06:14,426 --> 00:06:15,905 - Thanks for coming in. - Kimbrough. 130 00:06:16,066 --> 00:06:20,298 - Don't spell. - K-l-M-B-R-O-U-G-H. 131 00:06:20,466 --> 00:06:22,536 - That's right. - Yeah. It's a talent I have. 132 00:06:22,946 --> 00:06:25,460 Why don't we sit down? I'm glad you're here. 133 00:06:25,626 --> 00:06:26,854 Some day out there, huh? 134 00:06:27,026 --> 00:06:29,062 Did you ever see weather like that? 135 00:06:29,226 --> 00:06:30,215 It's crisp. 136 00:06:30,386 --> 00:06:31,660 It's Crespi-crisp. 137 00:06:31,826 --> 00:06:33,054 Shut up, George. 138 00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,215 Can I get you anything? 139 00:06:34,546 --> 00:06:36,377 What do we have in the fruit department? 140 00:06:37,106 --> 00:06:38,175 Pineapple. 141 00:06:38,346 --> 00:06:40,940 That's a dangerous fruit. It's like a weapon, that thing. 142 00:06:41,106 --> 00:06:43,939 Got spikes on the end. Get killed from one of those things. 143 00:06:45,786 --> 00:06:48,141 Anyway, let me tell you why I called. 144 00:06:48,306 --> 00:06:50,945 When I took over here, I reviewed what was in development... 145 00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:52,778 ...and it was pretty much same old. 146 00:06:53,026 --> 00:06:54,254 Been there, done that. 147 00:06:54,426 --> 00:06:57,577 Right. I was looking for something different. Something that would have... 148 00:06:57,746 --> 00:07:00,135 ...people talking at the water coolers. - Water coolers? 149 00:07:00,306 --> 00:07:02,945 We call it a water- cooler show. 150 00:07:03,106 --> 00:07:05,904 Because the next day, people gather around the water coolers... 151 00:07:06,066 --> 00:07:07,294 ...to talk about it, right? 152 00:07:08,786 --> 00:07:11,584 I would think people would talk about it at the coffee machines. 153 00:07:11,746 --> 00:07:14,260 Well, it's probably just easier to say water- cooler show... 154 00:07:14,426 --> 00:07:16,337 ...than coffee- machine show. 155 00:07:16,506 --> 00:07:17,734 It's really not accurate. 156 00:07:17,906 --> 00:07:20,466 Nobody drinks from a water cooler anymore, they use bottles. 157 00:07:20,626 --> 00:07:23,777 But I think Mr. Kimbrough makes a good point. 158 00:07:23,946 --> 00:07:27,097 Anyway, Stu here started telling me about a show, Jerry... 159 00:07:27,266 --> 00:07:28,858 ...that he developed five years ago. 160 00:07:29,026 --> 00:07:31,017 I have always loved it. 161 00:07:31,186 --> 00:07:32,858 He said it was a show about nothing. 162 00:07:33,026 --> 00:07:36,257 So I saw the pilot, and I've gotta tell you... 163 00:07:36,426 --> 00:07:37,415 ...I flipped out. 164 00:07:37,586 --> 00:07:39,622 He totally flipped out. 165 00:07:40,066 --> 00:07:43,581 What I wanna do is put it on the air. Thirteen episode commitment. 166 00:07:43,746 --> 00:07:46,055 Start it off on Wednesday night, build an audience. 167 00:07:46,226 --> 00:07:48,137 This show needs time to grow. 168 00:07:48,306 --> 00:07:49,705 I love that Kramer guy. 169 00:07:49,866 --> 00:07:51,299 He's a little off-the- wall. 170 00:07:51,466 --> 00:07:53,184 - Oh, yeah, off-the- wall. - Kramer. 171 00:07:53,346 --> 00:07:56,179 And Elaine, I wouldn't mind seeing something happening between you. 172 00:07:56,346 --> 00:07:58,302 - Definitely. - I tell you, l... 173 00:07:58,466 --> 00:08:01,617 I really don't think so-called relationship humour... 174 00:08:01,786 --> 00:08:03,458 ...is what this show's all about. 175 00:08:03,626 --> 00:08:06,299 Or we can not do the show altogether. How about that? 176 00:08:07,066 --> 00:08:08,943 Or we could get them together. 177 00:08:23,986 --> 00:08:26,546 Jill. Hi, it's Elaine. 178 00:08:26,706 --> 00:08:28,776 Yeah, well, I'm calling from my home. 179 00:08:28,946 --> 00:08:30,618 Indoors. 180 00:08:32,186 --> 00:08:35,735 Well... Well, I was just calling to see how your fath... 181 00:08:37,106 --> 00:08:40,223 I'm sorry, I'm getting another call. Hang on just a second. 182 00:08:40,546 --> 00:08:42,218 - Hello. - Hi, Elaine, it's me. 183 00:08:42,666 --> 00:08:44,622 - I'm on the other line. - This is an emergency. 184 00:08:44,786 --> 00:08:45,775 Get off the phone. 185 00:08:47,666 --> 00:08:48,781 I'm sorry, Jill. 186 00:08:48,946 --> 00:08:51,141 I'm gonna have to take this call. 187 00:08:51,586 --> 00:08:53,178 Jerry, what's the emergency? 188 00:08:53,346 --> 00:08:55,337 Jerry's back on, the TV show. 189 00:08:55,506 --> 00:08:57,656 George and I are moving to California. 190 00:08:57,826 --> 00:08:59,259 That's the emergency? 191 00:08:59,426 --> 00:09:02,702 - Did you hear what I said? - I was on the other line talking to Jill. 192 00:09:03,306 --> 00:09:05,217 Jill? Well, why didn't you say so? 193 00:09:05,386 --> 00:09:07,183 You said it was an emergency. 194 00:09:07,346 --> 00:09:09,576 So now she's lost a phone face- off? 195 00:09:09,746 --> 00:09:12,260 That's even worse than your cell phone walk-and-talk. 196 00:09:15,506 --> 00:09:18,020 Congratulations. They're doing the show. 197 00:09:18,186 --> 00:09:20,336 They should have put that show on five years ago. 198 00:09:20,506 --> 00:09:22,019 Bunch of idiots at that network. 199 00:09:22,706 --> 00:09:24,139 Can I tell you something, Jerry? 200 00:09:24,306 --> 00:09:25,978 It's all crap on TV. 201 00:09:26,146 --> 00:09:28,785 The only thing I watch is Xeno: The Warrior Princess. 202 00:09:28,946 --> 00:09:30,379 She must be about 6'6". 203 00:09:30,546 --> 00:09:32,298 She's not 6'6". 204 00:09:32,466 --> 00:09:35,458 - Jerry, you ever watch that? - Yeah, it's pretty good. 205 00:09:36,746 --> 00:09:37,895 They picked up the show? 206 00:09:38,066 --> 00:09:39,658 I'm moving to California. 207 00:09:39,826 --> 00:09:42,294 Oh, baby doll, this kid's going places. I told you. 208 00:09:42,466 --> 00:09:44,138 The NBC guy liked it? 209 00:09:44,306 --> 00:09:47,139 - Of course he liked it. - He told you he liked it? 210 00:09:47,426 --> 00:09:49,382 He wouldn't put it on if he didn't like it. 211 00:09:49,826 --> 00:09:51,339 Well, what are you doing? 212 00:09:51,506 --> 00:09:54,145 - I'm writing. - You know how to write? 213 00:09:54,306 --> 00:09:57,184 Without the writing, you have nothing. You make them look good. 214 00:09:57,346 --> 00:09:59,064 Since when do you know how to write? 215 00:09:59,226 --> 00:10:01,740 - I never saw you write anything. - Ma. 216 00:10:02,066 --> 00:10:04,705 I don't know how you're gonna write all those shows. 217 00:10:04,866 --> 00:10:06,936 And where are you gonna get all the ideas? 218 00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:09,984 Would you leave him alone? You'll shatter his confidence. 219 00:10:10,146 --> 00:10:12,944 I don't need any ideas. It's a show about nothing. 220 00:10:13,106 --> 00:10:15,017 Nothing, please. I'll tell you the truth. 221 00:10:15,186 --> 00:10:18,622 The whole thing sounds pretty stupid to me. 222 00:10:22,226 --> 00:10:24,786 NBC is letting me use their private jet? 223 00:10:24,946 --> 00:10:27,016 And I can go anywhere I want? 224 00:10:27,386 --> 00:10:29,661 That is fantastic. 225 00:10:29,906 --> 00:10:30,895 Thanks. Yeah. 226 00:10:31,066 --> 00:10:32,135 Great. Okay, bye. 227 00:10:32,946 --> 00:10:34,061 Oh, hey. 228 00:10:34,226 --> 00:10:35,625 Hey. How was the beach? 229 00:10:35,786 --> 00:10:37,583 You missed it, buddy. Lot of femeninas. 230 00:10:37,746 --> 00:10:39,737 Some major femeninas. 231 00:10:40,426 --> 00:10:42,701 Had a little meeting today at NBC. 232 00:10:44,386 --> 00:10:45,580 What are you doing? 233 00:10:47,026 --> 00:10:49,745 You know, I went swimming. I can't get this water out of my ear. 234 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:52,626 So do you remember five years ago, we did that pilot, Jerry? 235 00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:55,141 Well, the new guy at NBC wants to do it. 236 00:10:55,306 --> 00:10:58,742 They're putting it on the air. They're giving us a 13 episode commitment. 237 00:10:58,906 --> 00:11:01,340 George and I are moving to California. 238 00:11:02,506 --> 00:11:04,303 You're moving to California? 239 00:11:04,466 --> 00:11:05,819 Yeah, but only for a while. 240 00:11:05,986 --> 00:11:08,454 Yeah, but, Jerry, what happens if the show's a hit? 241 00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,378 You could be out there for years. 242 00:11:10,546 --> 00:11:11,979 You might never come back. 243 00:11:12,146 --> 00:11:15,024 - No, I'll be back. - Jerry, it's L.A. 244 00:11:15,186 --> 00:11:16,699 Nobody leaves. 245 00:11:18,786 --> 00:11:21,016 She's a seductress, she's a siren, she's a virgin... 246 00:11:21,186 --> 00:11:23,336 ...she's a whore. 247 00:11:23,746 --> 00:11:26,863 And my agent said as a bonus I can use their private jet. 248 00:11:27,026 --> 00:11:28,937 So we'll all go somewhere, the four of us. 249 00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:31,666 One big fling before George and I go to California. 250 00:11:31,826 --> 00:11:33,339 A fling. 251 00:11:38,546 --> 00:11:41,504 - So we can go anywhere we want? - Go anywhere. 252 00:11:41,666 --> 00:11:44,464 - Why are they doing this? - I think they wanna make it up to us... 253 00:11:44,626 --> 00:11:46,981 ...because they let this sit on their shelf for years. 254 00:11:47,146 --> 00:11:50,024 This is all very exciting. 255 00:11:50,186 --> 00:11:51,824 So where we going? 256 00:11:52,426 --> 00:11:53,575 Well, I say Japan. 257 00:11:53,746 --> 00:11:55,498 - Why Japan? - Oh, geishas. 258 00:11:55,666 --> 00:11:57,896 You know, they cater to your every whim. 259 00:11:58,066 --> 00:12:00,899 They're shy at first, but they're quite skilled at conversation. 260 00:12:01,066 --> 00:12:04,615 They can discuss anything, from world affairs to the fine art of fishing. 261 00:12:04,786 --> 00:12:05,901 Or baking. 262 00:12:08,986 --> 00:12:10,624 I got it. How about Russia? 263 00:12:11,186 --> 00:12:13,097 Russia. It's so bleak. 264 00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:14,381 It's not bleak. 265 00:12:14,546 --> 00:12:16,776 - It's springtime. - It's still bleak. 266 00:12:16,946 --> 00:12:18,379 You can't be bleak in spring. 267 00:12:18,546 --> 00:12:19,945 You can be bleak in spring. 268 00:12:20,106 --> 00:12:23,018 If you're bleak, you're bleak. 269 00:12:25,866 --> 00:12:27,185 What about Switzerland? 270 00:12:27,346 --> 00:12:30,144 Switzerland. The von Trapp family, huh? 271 00:12:30,986 --> 00:12:33,580 It's a bit hilly. No? 272 00:12:34,226 --> 00:12:36,615 You're not gonna do any walking. 273 00:12:39,346 --> 00:12:41,541 What if I wanna walk around a little? 274 00:12:41,706 --> 00:12:45,255 So then you'll walk down the hill and we'll pick you up. 275 00:12:45,746 --> 00:12:48,135 - What if I'm at the bottom? - You know what, forget it. 276 00:12:48,306 --> 00:12:50,581 All right, come on. Come on now, people. 277 00:12:50,746 --> 00:12:53,260 Let's face it. We're not all gonna agree on anything. 278 00:12:53,426 --> 00:12:55,496 Why don't we just all go to Paris? 279 00:12:56,306 --> 00:12:57,659 I'll go to Paris. 280 00:12:57,826 --> 00:12:58,895 - Me too. - Yeah. 281 00:13:05,346 --> 00:13:07,018 - So that's it. It's settled. - Yeah. 282 00:13:07,266 --> 00:13:09,097 We're going to Paris. 283 00:13:10,346 --> 00:13:11,904 Yeah! 284 00:13:15,986 --> 00:13:18,420 Hey. NBC limo is downstairs. 285 00:13:22,146 --> 00:13:24,944 I'm just gonna call Jill one more time before we go. 286 00:13:25,106 --> 00:13:27,574 Elaine, you can't make a call like that on your way out. 287 00:13:27,746 --> 00:13:29,816 You can't rush that conversation. 288 00:13:29,986 --> 00:13:32,580 Well, I can't call from the limo. Can I call from the plane? 289 00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:34,577 First you make a cell phone walk-and-talk... 290 00:13:34,746 --> 00:13:36,657 ...then she loses a call waiting face- off... 291 00:13:36,826 --> 00:13:38,817 ...now you're talking about a plane call? 292 00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:41,420 All right, I'll just have to call her from Paris. 293 00:13:45,506 --> 00:13:46,780 Hello, Jerry. 294 00:13:47,506 --> 00:13:50,543 Hello, Newman. What gives? 295 00:13:50,706 --> 00:13:52,264 I was speaking earlier with Kramer... 296 00:13:52,426 --> 00:13:54,894 ...and he mentioned something about a private jet to Paris. 297 00:13:55,066 --> 00:13:56,135 Yeah, that's right. 298 00:13:56,306 --> 00:13:59,662 Well, I hear it's quite beautiful there this time of year... 299 00:13:59,826 --> 00:14:01,578 ...and you know I'm one- quarter French. 300 00:14:01,746 --> 00:14:02,861 - Really? - Oh, yes. 301 00:14:03,026 --> 00:14:04,903 In fact, I still have family there. 302 00:14:05,066 --> 00:14:07,341 This probably won't interest you... 303 00:14:07,506 --> 00:14:10,179 ...but I have a cousin there who's suffering very badly. 304 00:14:11,106 --> 00:14:13,984 She's lost all use of her muscles. 305 00:14:14,146 --> 00:14:16,501 She can only communicate by blinking. 306 00:14:16,666 --> 00:14:18,543 I would so love to see her. 307 00:14:18,706 --> 00:14:21,698 Bring a ray of sunshine into her tragic life. 308 00:14:21,866 --> 00:14:23,504 But, alas, I can't afford it. 309 00:14:23,666 --> 00:14:27,784 For I am, as you know, but a simple postal worker. 310 00:14:28,026 --> 00:14:29,982 - That's a shame. - Take me! Take me! 311 00:14:30,146 --> 00:14:31,135 Oh, forget it. 312 00:14:31,306 --> 00:14:33,297 Pull yourself together. You're making me sick. 313 00:14:33,466 --> 00:14:35,024 Be a man. 314 00:14:35,506 --> 00:14:37,417 All right. 315 00:14:38,666 --> 00:14:40,782 But hear me and hear me well. 316 00:14:42,386 --> 00:14:45,139 The day will come. Oh, yes. 317 00:14:45,306 --> 00:14:47,342 Mark my words, Seinfeld. 318 00:14:47,506 --> 00:14:49,417 Your day of reckoning is coming. 319 00:14:49,586 --> 00:14:52,703 When an evil wind will blow through your little play world... 320 00:14:52,866 --> 00:14:56,779 ...and wipe that smug smile off your face. 321 00:14:56,946 --> 00:15:00,825 And I'll be there, in all my glory, watching. 322 00:15:00,986 --> 00:15:05,264 Watching as it all comes crumbling down. 323 00:15:22,106 --> 00:15:23,095 - Jerry? - Yeah. 324 00:15:23,266 --> 00:15:24,255 I'm Captain Maddox. 325 00:15:24,426 --> 00:15:26,462 This is my copilot, Kurt Adams. 326 00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:28,582 - Ready to go to Paris? - All set. 327 00:15:28,746 --> 00:15:30,976 - We'll just grab the bags. - Don't worry about that. 328 00:15:31,146 --> 00:15:34,456 - We'll take care of them for you. - Just keeps getting better and better. 329 00:15:37,746 --> 00:15:39,384 Not bad. 330 00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:42,219 The only way to fly. 331 00:15:43,146 --> 00:15:44,943 This is it? 332 00:15:48,186 --> 00:15:50,654 I'm sorry, I have to say, I'm a little disappointed. 333 00:15:50,826 --> 00:15:53,021 I thought it would be a lot nicer. 334 00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:55,302 You're complaining about a private jet? 335 00:15:55,466 --> 00:15:57,582 You think this is the plane that Ted Danson gets? 336 00:15:57,746 --> 00:16:00,465 Ted Danson is not even on the network anymore. 337 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:03,379 I bet when they gave him a plane, it was a lot nicer than this. 338 00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:05,741 Will you shut up? 339 00:16:05,906 --> 00:16:08,704 You are ruining the whole trip. 340 00:16:09,186 --> 00:16:11,017 This is a real piece of junk. 341 00:16:11,906 --> 00:16:13,578 I don't even feel safe on this thing. 342 00:16:13,746 --> 00:16:17,341 - I have a good mind to write a letter... - You're not writing any letters. 343 00:16:17,986 --> 00:16:19,897 - Will you turn around? - Why? 344 00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:22,580 You are annoying me sitting like that. 345 00:16:22,746 --> 00:16:24,225 It's effeminate. 346 00:16:24,386 --> 00:16:26,775 - It's effeminate to sit like this? - Yes. 347 00:16:26,946 --> 00:16:29,585 I think it's a little effeminate. 348 00:16:29,746 --> 00:16:31,259 How is this effeminate? 349 00:16:31,426 --> 00:16:35,658 I don't know. It just is. 350 00:16:39,906 --> 00:16:42,215 - What are you doing? - You still got water in your ear? 351 00:16:42,386 --> 00:16:45,537 I can't get rid of it. Maybe it leaked inside my brain. 352 00:16:45,706 --> 00:16:48,425 Kramer, stop that. It's not safe to be jumping on a plane. 353 00:16:48,586 --> 00:16:50,622 I gotta get it out. I can't take this anymore. 354 00:16:50,786 --> 00:16:53,016 Kramer, don't be fooling around up here. 355 00:16:54,066 --> 00:16:56,421 - Kramer! - Hey, get the hell out of here. 356 00:16:56,586 --> 00:16:57,655 What is that? 357 00:16:57,826 --> 00:16:59,418 Oh, my God. 358 00:17:00,906 --> 00:17:03,340 - What is that noise? - Kramer, what the hell did you do? 359 00:17:03,506 --> 00:17:04,621 I lost my balance. 360 00:17:04,786 --> 00:17:05,980 Oh, my God. 361 00:17:06,146 --> 00:17:07,499 What's going on? 362 00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:11,341 - Kramer! - It was an accident! 363 00:17:11,506 --> 00:17:13,337 I told you to stop with the hopping! 364 00:17:13,506 --> 00:17:15,974 Oh, my God, we're going down. 365 00:17:16,146 --> 00:17:17,340 We're gonna die. 366 00:17:17,906 --> 00:17:20,101 Just when I was doing great. 367 00:17:20,266 --> 00:17:23,417 I told you God wouldn't let me be successful. 368 00:17:23,586 --> 00:17:26,305 Is this it? Is this how it ends? 369 00:17:26,466 --> 00:17:28,934 It can't. It can't end like this. 370 00:17:29,106 --> 00:17:30,585 I'm ready. I'm ready. 371 00:17:30,746 --> 00:17:32,702 Glory hallelujah. 372 00:17:33,106 --> 00:17:36,416 - Jerry? Jerry, can you hear me? - Yeah. 373 00:17:36,586 --> 00:17:39,339 - There's something I have to tell you. - What? What is it? 374 00:17:40,266 --> 00:17:43,099 - I cheated in the contest. - What? 375 00:17:43,346 --> 00:17:46,782 - The contest, I cheated. - Why? 376 00:17:47,586 --> 00:17:50,054 Because I'm a cheater! 377 00:17:50,226 --> 00:17:51,625 I had to tell you. 378 00:17:51,786 --> 00:17:53,777 Great, I won. 379 00:17:53,946 --> 00:17:58,144 - Jerry, I gotta tell you something too. - Yeah. 380 00:17:58,306 --> 00:18:00,342 Elaine, I've got something I wanna say to you. 381 00:18:00,506 --> 00:18:03,862 - No, no. Me first. - All right. 382 00:18:04,026 --> 00:18:06,824 Jerry, I've always... 383 00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:09,261 Hey, what's going on? 384 00:18:09,426 --> 00:18:10,461 We're straightening out. 385 00:18:10,626 --> 00:18:12,776 - We're straightening out. - We're straightening out. 386 00:18:12,946 --> 00:18:15,858 - We're straightening out. - Yeah! 387 00:18:18,266 --> 00:18:20,939 Well, again, sorry about that little mishap. 388 00:18:21,106 --> 00:18:23,825 Once we get everything checked, shouldn't be any more problems. 389 00:18:23,986 --> 00:18:27,103 - Where are we? - Latham, Massachusetts. 390 00:18:27,266 --> 00:18:30,099 Why don't you take a cab into town, get yourself something to eat? 391 00:18:30,266 --> 00:18:33,497 I got your beeper number, I'll beep you as soon as we're ready. 392 00:18:33,666 --> 00:18:34,655 - Okay. - Yeah, okay. 393 00:18:34,826 --> 00:18:36,623 We'll see you later. 394 00:18:49,666 --> 00:18:52,055 Well, what are we gonna do about Paris? 395 00:18:52,226 --> 00:18:54,615 I mean, are we actually gonna get back on this plane? 396 00:18:54,786 --> 00:18:57,744 I say we go back to New York and take a regular flight. 397 00:18:57,906 --> 00:18:59,658 I'm not getting on a regular plane now. 398 00:18:59,826 --> 00:19:01,623 I'm all psyched up to go on a private jet. 399 00:19:01,786 --> 00:19:03,742 No way I'm getting on a regular plane. 400 00:19:03,906 --> 00:19:06,659 Well, I'm sure that they would fly us first class. 401 00:19:06,826 --> 00:19:09,021 First class doesn't make it anymore. 402 00:19:09,186 --> 00:19:12,622 You get on the phone with Kimbrough and tell him to get another plane here. 403 00:19:12,786 --> 00:19:15,505 But this time, the good one. The Ted Danson plane. 404 00:19:15,666 --> 00:19:18,658 - All right, I'll feel him out. - Yeah, just tell him to hurry it up. 405 00:19:19,946 --> 00:19:21,584 Nice day. 406 00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:23,378 Another one. 407 00:19:24,266 --> 00:19:25,904 All right, fatso, out of the car. 408 00:19:26,226 --> 00:19:28,296 I'm gonna capture this. 409 00:19:28,466 --> 00:19:31,060 - Come on. - I'm getting out. Give me a minute. 410 00:19:31,226 --> 00:19:33,057 - Give me your wallet. - Don't shoot. 411 00:19:33,226 --> 00:19:36,343 Well, there goes the money for the lipo. 412 00:19:37,066 --> 00:19:39,182 See, the great thing about robbing a fat guy is... 413 00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:40,825 ...it's an easy getaway, you know? 414 00:19:40,986 --> 00:19:43,420 They can't really chase you. 415 00:19:43,746 --> 00:19:45,384 He's actually doing him a favour. 416 00:19:45,546 --> 00:19:47,901 It's less money for him to buy food. 417 00:19:48,426 --> 00:19:50,701 I want your wallet. Come on. Come on, come on! 418 00:19:51,506 --> 00:19:53,098 That's a shame. 419 00:19:53,266 --> 00:19:55,461 All right, I'm gonna call NBC. 420 00:19:55,626 --> 00:19:57,981 Officer, he's stealing my car. 421 00:19:58,146 --> 00:19:59,420 Officer, I was carjacked. 422 00:19:59,586 --> 00:20:01,417 - I was held up at gunpoint. - I understand. 423 00:20:01,666 --> 00:20:04,578 Okay. Thanks anyway. They can't get another plane. 424 00:20:04,746 --> 00:20:07,306 What's wrong with the plane we got? They're checking it out. 425 00:20:07,466 --> 00:20:08,865 - No, no, no. - Forget that. 426 00:20:09,026 --> 00:20:10,698 - Forget it. - We're not getting on there. 427 00:20:10,866 --> 00:20:13,221 Come on, let's get something to eat here in Sticksville. 428 00:20:13,706 --> 00:20:16,618 - All right. Hold it right there. - What? 429 00:20:17,066 --> 00:20:19,580 - You're under arrest. - Under arrest? What for? 430 00:20:19,746 --> 00:20:23,182 Article 223-7 of the Latham County Penal Code. 431 00:20:23,346 --> 00:20:25,257 What? No, no, we didn't do anything. 432 00:20:25,426 --> 00:20:26,859 That's exactly right. 433 00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:30,223 The law requires you to help or assist anyone in danger... 434 00:20:30,386 --> 00:20:32,297 ...as long as it's reasonable to do so. 435 00:20:32,626 --> 00:20:33,695 I never heard of that. 436 00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:37,336 It's new. It's called the Good Samaritan Law. 437 00:20:38,706 --> 00:20:41,220 - Let's go. - Well... 438 00:20:47,666 --> 00:20:50,499 A Good Samaritan law? Are they crazy? 439 00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:52,304 - Why would we help somebody? - I know. 440 00:20:52,466 --> 00:20:54,855 That's what nuns and Red Cross workers are for. 441 00:20:55,026 --> 00:20:57,745 The Samaritans were an ancient tribe. 442 00:20:57,906 --> 00:20:59,578 Very helpful to people. 443 00:20:59,986 --> 00:21:01,817 All right. 444 00:21:01,986 --> 00:21:03,817 Excuse me. Hi. 445 00:21:03,986 --> 00:21:06,978 Could you tell me what kind of law this is? 446 00:21:07,146 --> 00:21:09,216 Well, they just passed it last year. 447 00:21:09,386 --> 00:21:11,024 And it's modeled after the French law. 448 00:21:11,186 --> 00:21:13,381 I heard about it after Princess Diana was killed... 449 00:21:13,546 --> 00:21:15,502 ...and those photographers were standing around. 450 00:21:15,666 --> 00:21:16,860 - Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah. 451 00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:18,937 You're the first ones to be arrested on it... 452 00:21:19,106 --> 00:21:20,937 ...probably in the whole country. 453 00:21:21,346 --> 00:21:22,779 All right, so, what's the penalty? 454 00:21:22,946 --> 00:21:25,221 Let's pay the fine and get the hell out of here. 455 00:21:25,386 --> 00:21:30,176 Well, it's not that easy. See, the law calls for a maximum fine of $85,000... 456 00:21:30,346 --> 00:21:32,098 ...and as much as five years in prison. 457 00:21:32,706 --> 00:21:34,662 - What? - Oh, no, no, no. 458 00:21:34,826 --> 00:21:36,623 We have to be in California next week. 459 00:21:36,786 --> 00:21:38,185 We're starting a TV show. 460 00:21:38,346 --> 00:21:40,462 California? Oh, gosh, I don't think so. 461 00:21:40,626 --> 00:21:42,856 My guess is you're gonna be prosecuted. 462 00:21:43,026 --> 00:21:44,937 Better get yourselves a good lawyer. 463 00:21:48,506 --> 00:21:51,145 Who told you to put the cheese on? Did I tell you? 464 00:21:51,306 --> 00:21:53,945 - I didn't tell you to put it on. - Jerry Seinfeld on the phone. 465 00:21:54,106 --> 00:21:56,904 You people with the cheese. It never ends. 466 00:21:57,706 --> 00:21:59,059 Hello. 467 00:22:03,346 --> 00:22:05,541 Good Samaritan Law? I never heard of it. 468 00:22:05,706 --> 00:22:08,459 You don't have to help anybody. That's what this country's about. 469 00:22:08,626 --> 00:22:10,856 That's deplorable, unfathomable, improbable. 470 00:22:11,026 --> 00:22:12,982 Hold on. Susie. 471 00:22:13,146 --> 00:22:15,137 Cancel my appointment with Dr. Byson. 472 00:22:15,306 --> 00:22:16,295 And pack a bag for me. 473 00:22:16,466 --> 00:22:19,060 I wanna get to Latham, Massachusetts right away. 474 00:22:22,106 --> 00:22:23,824 So they got Jackie Chiles, huh? 475 00:22:23,986 --> 00:22:25,339 And you know what that means. 476 00:22:25,506 --> 00:22:28,100 This whole place is gonna be swarming with media. 477 00:22:28,266 --> 00:22:29,665 By the time this thing is over... 478 00:22:29,826 --> 00:22:32,624 ...you're not gonna be able to find a hotel room in this town. 479 00:22:33,066 --> 00:22:35,216 The whole country is going to be watching this. 480 00:22:35,386 --> 00:22:38,059 Now, we gotta do whatever it takes to win it. 481 00:22:38,226 --> 00:22:40,262 No matter what the cost. 482 00:22:40,426 --> 00:22:44,738 And a big issue in this trial is going to be character. 483 00:22:45,866 --> 00:22:47,663 Find out everything about these people. 484 00:22:47,826 --> 00:22:51,216 And I mean everything. 485 00:22:59,546 --> 00:23:01,184 It's pretty good chow, huh? 486 00:23:04,626 --> 00:23:07,060 It would kill him to check up on us? 487 00:23:08,266 --> 00:23:10,177 No. Drops off the meals and that's it. 488 00:23:11,106 --> 00:23:14,018 I realise we're prisoners, but we're still entitled to ketchup. 489 00:23:16,146 --> 00:23:18,296 I guess we could have called for help. 490 00:23:18,466 --> 00:23:20,741 But then we would have missed the whole thing. 491 00:23:20,906 --> 00:23:23,500 I still had it on video. We could have watched it later. 492 00:23:23,666 --> 00:23:24,940 Yeah, he's right. 493 00:23:25,106 --> 00:23:26,664 I forgot about the video. 494 00:23:26,826 --> 00:23:29,260 Oh, sure, video. 495 00:23:30,506 --> 00:23:32,098 What is that? 496 00:23:33,586 --> 00:23:34,621 Plane's ready. 497 00:23:45,026 --> 00:23:47,017 I'm Geraldo Rivera. We'll be talking about... 498 00:23:47,186 --> 00:23:50,098 ...what most of you have probably been discussing in your homes... 499 00:23:50,266 --> 00:23:52,461 ...and around the water coolers in your offices. 500 00:23:52,626 --> 00:23:55,618 I'm speaking of the controversial Good Samaritan trial... 501 00:23:55,786 --> 00:23:58,459 ...that gets underway Thursday in Latham, Massachusetts. 502 00:23:58,626 --> 00:24:01,299 Now, before we meet our panel, let's go to Latham live... 503 00:24:01,466 --> 00:24:03,661 ...where Jane Wells is standing by. Jane. 504 00:24:03,826 --> 00:24:05,259 Yes, good evening, Geraldo. 505 00:24:05,426 --> 00:24:07,223 What's the mood? What's going on tonight? 506 00:24:07,386 --> 00:24:09,536 Well, Latham is fairly quiet tonight... 507 00:24:09,706 --> 00:24:13,255 ... considering the media circus that has descended upon this quaint town. 508 00:24:13,426 --> 00:24:16,384 And what about the defendants, the so-called New York Four? 509 00:24:16,546 --> 00:24:17,695 How are they holding up? 510 00:24:17,866 --> 00:24:19,822 Well, I did speak with one of the deputies... 511 00:24:19,986 --> 00:24:23,023 ...who has some contact with them, and he told me, quote: 512 00:24:23,186 --> 00:24:25,256 "There's no love lost with that group." 513 00:24:25,426 --> 00:24:26,620 Anything else, Jane? 514 00:24:26,866 --> 00:24:30,700 There also seems to be some friction between Mr. Seinfeld and Ms. Benes. 515 00:24:30,866 --> 00:24:34,859 The rumour is that they once dated, and it's possible that ended badly. 516 00:24:35,026 --> 00:24:39,178 Well, who knows, maybe this trial will bring them closer together. 517 00:24:39,346 --> 00:24:41,735 Maybe they'll even end up getting married. 518 00:24:43,506 --> 00:24:44,859 I hope you packed enough. 519 00:24:45,026 --> 00:24:46,425 This trial could last for weeks. 520 00:24:46,586 --> 00:24:47,814 What's all that? 521 00:24:47,986 --> 00:24:50,181 - Cereal. - You're packing cereal? 522 00:24:50,346 --> 00:24:51,938 I'm bringing it for Jerry. 523 00:24:52,106 --> 00:24:54,336 - You got enough for a life sentence. - He likes it. 524 00:24:54,506 --> 00:24:55,985 He misses that more than anything. 525 00:24:56,146 --> 00:24:57,579 So bring a snack pack. 526 00:24:57,746 --> 00:24:58,861 Poor Georgie. 527 00:24:59,026 --> 00:25:01,017 Was it our fault this happened to him? 528 00:25:01,186 --> 00:25:03,063 Did we do something wrong? 529 00:25:03,226 --> 00:25:04,898 Maybe it was our fault. 530 00:25:05,066 --> 00:25:06,545 Maybe it was your fault. 531 00:25:06,706 --> 00:25:08,424 It wasn't my fault, I can tell you that. 532 00:25:08,586 --> 00:25:11,464 Oh, so it was my fault but not yours. 533 00:25:11,626 --> 00:25:13,105 You were the one who smothered him. 534 00:25:13,266 --> 00:25:15,496 - I did not smother him. - You smothered. 535 00:25:15,666 --> 00:25:18,863 He couldn't get any air. He couldn't breathe. He was suffocating! 536 00:25:19,026 --> 00:25:23,144 Sure. And you were always in Korea with your religious chachkas. 537 00:25:23,306 --> 00:25:25,740 I had to make a living! 538 00:26:18,826 --> 00:26:20,259 This is excellent, huh? 539 00:26:21,986 --> 00:26:25,661 Don't worry, I didn't use too much milk, because I know we gotta make it last. 540 00:26:26,186 --> 00:26:28,142 You know, I've had to reduce my milk level. 541 00:26:28,306 --> 00:26:31,503 I've always filled to three- quarters, sometimes to the top of the cereal. 542 00:26:31,666 --> 00:26:34,339 Now to conserve, I can't even see the milk anymore. 543 00:26:34,506 --> 00:26:37,066 - It's a big adjustment. - I bet. 544 00:26:37,226 --> 00:26:39,581 It's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. 545 00:26:41,786 --> 00:26:44,220 - Good morning. - Good morning, Jackie. 546 00:26:44,386 --> 00:26:46,342 - Good morning. - Is everybody ready? 547 00:26:47,226 --> 00:26:49,786 Didn't I tell you I wanted you to wear the cardigan? 548 00:26:50,066 --> 00:26:52,136 - Makes me look older. - Look older? 549 00:26:52,306 --> 00:26:54,581 You think this is a game? That what you think this is? 550 00:26:54,746 --> 00:26:57,055 I'm trying to give you a moral compass. You have none. 551 00:26:57,226 --> 00:26:58,864 You're gonna walk into that courtroom... 552 00:26:59,026 --> 00:27:01,415 ...and they'll see a mean, nasty, evil George Costanza. 553 00:27:01,586 --> 00:27:04,578 I want them to see Perry Como. No one's gonna convict Perry Como. 554 00:27:04,746 --> 00:27:07,214 Perry Como helps out a fat tub who's getting robbed. 555 00:27:08,586 --> 00:27:09,575 You think it's funny? 556 00:27:10,746 --> 00:27:11,735 No. 557 00:27:11,906 --> 00:27:13,100 You damn right it isn't. 558 00:27:13,266 --> 00:27:15,655 You better not be laughing in that courtroom, funnyman. 559 00:27:15,826 --> 00:27:19,785 If you start getting all smart-alecky, making wisecracks, acting a fool... 560 00:27:19,946 --> 00:27:22,744 ...you're gonna find yourself in here for a long, long time. 561 00:27:22,906 --> 00:27:24,703 I don't like that tie. 562 00:27:24,986 --> 00:27:27,659 Susie, get one of my ties from my briefcase. 563 00:27:27,826 --> 00:27:28,941 How do I look, Jackie? 564 00:27:29,106 --> 00:27:31,301 Oh, you looking good. 565 00:27:33,346 --> 00:27:34,415 You look strong. 566 00:27:34,586 --> 00:27:36,304 You one fine- looking, sexy lady. 567 00:27:37,506 --> 00:27:39,303 Thank you, Jackie. 568 00:27:39,466 --> 00:27:40,501 What about me, Jackie? 569 00:27:40,666 --> 00:27:42,384 Kramer, you always look good. 570 00:27:42,546 --> 00:27:44,901 You got respect for yourself. You're genuine. 571 00:27:45,066 --> 00:27:46,863 The jury's gonna pick up on that. 572 00:27:48,186 --> 00:27:49,505 Here. 573 00:27:50,026 --> 00:27:51,505 - This one? - That's right. 574 00:27:51,666 --> 00:27:54,658 - Do I have to? - Jackie says put it on, Jerry. 575 00:27:57,466 --> 00:27:58,455 All rise. 576 00:27:58,866 --> 00:28:02,017 Fourth District County Court, Latham, Massachusetts is now in session. 577 00:28:02,346 --> 00:28:05,338 The Honourable Judge Arthur Vandelay presiding. 578 00:28:05,906 --> 00:28:07,055 Vandelay? 579 00:28:07,226 --> 00:28:09,262 - The judge's name is Vandelay? - Vanda who? 580 00:28:09,426 --> 00:28:11,178 - Jerry, did you hear that? - Yeah. Yeah. 581 00:28:11,346 --> 00:28:12,540 I think that's a good sign. 582 00:28:12,706 --> 00:28:15,300 Is the district attorney ready to proceed? 583 00:28:15,506 --> 00:28:17,224 We are, Your Honour. 584 00:28:17,426 --> 00:28:19,417 Mr. Hoyt. 585 00:28:20,426 --> 00:28:23,418 Ladies and gentlemen, last year our city council... 586 00:28:23,586 --> 00:28:26,578 ...by a vote of 12-to-2, passed a Good Samaritan law. 587 00:28:26,746 --> 00:28:28,941 Now, essentially, we made it a crime... 588 00:28:29,106 --> 00:28:31,461 ...to ignore a fellow human being in trouble. 589 00:28:31,626 --> 00:28:34,504 Now, this group from New York... 590 00:28:34,666 --> 00:28:37,260 ...not only ignored, but as we will prove... 591 00:28:37,426 --> 00:28:41,738 ...they actually mocked the victim as he was being robbed at gunpoint. 592 00:28:42,346 --> 00:28:45,304 I can guarantee you one other thing, ladies and gentlemen... 593 00:28:45,466 --> 00:28:49,061 ...this is not the first time they have behaved in this manner. 594 00:28:49,546 --> 00:28:50,535 On the contrary. 595 00:28:50,706 --> 00:28:53,584 They have quite a record of mocking and maligning. 596 00:28:53,746 --> 00:28:57,182 This is a history of selfishness, self-absorption... 597 00:28:57,346 --> 00:29:00,065 ...immaturity and greed. 598 00:29:01,186 --> 00:29:03,063 And you will see how everyone... 599 00:29:03,226 --> 00:29:06,263 ...who has come into contact with these four individuals... 600 00:29:06,426 --> 00:29:09,259 ...has been abused, wronged... 601 00:29:09,426 --> 00:29:12,145 ...deceived and betrayed. 602 00:29:13,706 --> 00:29:14,695 This time... 603 00:29:14,866 --> 00:29:17,380 ...they have gone too far. 604 00:29:17,546 --> 00:29:19,025 This time... 605 00:29:19,186 --> 00:29:21,654 ...they are going to be held accountable. 606 00:29:21,826 --> 00:29:23,179 This time... 607 00:29:23,346 --> 00:29:27,658 ...they are the ones who will pay. 608 00:29:30,226 --> 00:29:32,103 Mr. Chiles? 609 00:29:32,506 --> 00:29:34,940 I am shocked and chagrined. 610 00:29:36,266 --> 00:29:38,302 Mortified and stupefied. 611 00:29:38,466 --> 00:29:40,297 This trial is outrageous. 612 00:29:40,466 --> 00:29:43,458 It is a waste of the taxpayers' time and money. 613 00:29:43,626 --> 00:29:46,094 It is a travesty of justice that these four people... 614 00:29:46,266 --> 00:29:48,700 ...have been incarcerated while the real perpetrator... 615 00:29:48,866 --> 00:29:51,016 ...is walking around laughing. 616 00:29:51,186 --> 00:29:55,179 Lying and laughing. Laughing and lying. 617 00:29:56,186 --> 00:29:57,858 Do you know what these four people were? 618 00:29:58,026 --> 00:30:00,096 They were innocent bystanders. 619 00:30:00,266 --> 00:30:02,018 Now, you just think about that term. 620 00:30:02,186 --> 00:30:05,417 Innocent bystanders. 621 00:30:05,586 --> 00:30:07,019 That's exactly what they were. 622 00:30:07,186 --> 00:30:09,541 We know they were bystanders, nobody's disputing that. 623 00:30:09,706 --> 00:30:11,822 So how can a bystander be guilty? No such thing. 624 00:30:11,986 --> 00:30:14,659 Have you ever heard of a guilty bystander? 625 00:30:14,826 --> 00:30:18,455 No. Because you cannot be a bystander and be guilty. 626 00:30:18,626 --> 00:30:20,298 Bystanders are, by definition, innocent. 627 00:30:20,466 --> 00:30:22,184 That is the nature of bystanding. 628 00:30:22,346 --> 00:30:23,825 But, no. 629 00:30:24,386 --> 00:30:26,695 They wanna change nature here. 630 00:30:26,986 --> 00:30:29,546 They wanna create a whole new animal. 631 00:30:29,706 --> 00:30:31,822 The guilty bystander. 632 00:30:33,506 --> 00:30:35,337 But don't you let them do it. 633 00:30:36,626 --> 00:30:39,857 Only you can stop them. 634 00:30:42,146 --> 00:30:43,659 Thank you. 635 00:30:47,506 --> 00:30:49,019 That was wonderful. Thank you. 636 00:30:52,786 --> 00:30:56,256 Is the prosecution ready to present its first witness? 637 00:30:56,506 --> 00:30:57,825 We are, Your Honour. 638 00:30:57,986 --> 00:31:00,944 Call Officer Matt Vogel to the stand. 639 00:31:01,106 --> 00:31:03,176 Call Matt Vogel. 640 00:31:07,026 --> 00:31:09,824 - So they were just standing there? - Yes. 641 00:31:09,986 --> 00:31:12,216 Did one of them have a video camera? 642 00:31:12,426 --> 00:31:13,415 Yes. 643 00:31:13,906 --> 00:31:17,421 With the court's permission, we would like to play back that video... 644 00:31:17,586 --> 00:31:19,338 ...and enter it into evidence as Exhibit A. 645 00:31:19,786 --> 00:31:21,299 Proceed. 646 00:31:22,026 --> 00:31:23,425 - Come on. - Okay, I'm getting out. 647 00:31:23,586 --> 00:31:25,861 Well, there goes the money for the lipo. 648 00:31:26,026 --> 00:31:29,302 See, the great thing about robbing a fat guy is it's an easy getaway. 649 00:31:29,466 --> 00:31:30,979 They can't really chase you. 650 00:31:31,146 --> 00:31:32,135 Come on, come on. 651 00:31:32,306 --> 00:31:33,944 He's actually doing him a fav our. 652 00:31:34,106 --> 00:31:36,176 It's less money for him to buy food. 653 00:31:42,666 --> 00:31:44,782 So they just stood there and did nothing? 654 00:31:45,106 --> 00:31:47,939 Yeah. Nothing. Nothing. 655 00:31:48,426 --> 00:31:50,223 No further questions. 656 00:31:51,346 --> 00:31:53,541 Hey, great plane. 657 00:31:53,826 --> 00:31:55,179 Thanks a lot. 658 00:31:55,346 --> 00:31:56,335 Piece of junk. 659 00:31:56,506 --> 00:31:58,019 You know, you almost got us killed. 660 00:32:00,906 --> 00:32:02,942 Call Mabel Choate to the stand. 661 00:32:03,186 --> 00:32:04,744 Call Mabel Choate. 662 00:32:08,626 --> 00:32:11,743 Your Honour, I most strenuously and vigorously object to this witness. 663 00:32:11,906 --> 00:32:13,498 She was not present at the incident. 664 00:32:13,666 --> 00:32:16,738 Her testimony is irrelevant, irrational and inconsequential. 665 00:32:17,186 --> 00:32:20,383 The prosecution has gone to great lengths and considerable cost... 666 00:32:20,546 --> 00:32:22,377 ...to find these character witnesses. 667 00:32:22,546 --> 00:32:26,380 It is imperative that we establish this is not merely an isolated incident. 668 00:32:26,546 --> 00:32:28,582 It's part of a pattern of antisocial behaviour... 669 00:32:28,746 --> 00:32:30,384 ...that's been going on for years. 670 00:32:30,586 --> 00:32:32,224 - Objection overruled. - Thank you. 671 00:32:32,386 --> 00:32:33,501 I'll hear the witness. 672 00:32:36,426 --> 00:32:38,701 Now, Mrs. Choate, would you please tell the court... 673 00:32:38,866 --> 00:32:41,016 ...what happened the evening of January 4th? 674 00:32:42,386 --> 00:32:46,299 Well, I was in Schnitzer's Bakery when I got accosted by that man. 675 00:32:46,546 --> 00:32:49,458 Let the record show that she's pointing at Mr. Seinfeld. 676 00:32:49,626 --> 00:32:50,615 What did he want? 677 00:32:50,906 --> 00:32:52,578 My marble rye. 678 00:32:53,066 --> 00:32:54,658 Your marble rye? 679 00:32:54,826 --> 00:32:56,054 I got the last one. 680 00:32:56,226 --> 00:32:58,342 He kept persisting, and I said no. 681 00:32:58,506 --> 00:32:59,939 - Then you left the bakery. - Right. 682 00:33:00,106 --> 00:33:02,142 But it didn't end there, did it, Mrs. Choate? 683 00:33:02,306 --> 00:33:03,625 Oh, no. 684 00:33:04,106 --> 00:33:05,744 - Give me that rye. - Stop it. Let go. 685 00:33:05,906 --> 00:33:07,134 I want that rye, lady. 686 00:33:07,306 --> 00:33:08,580 Help. Someone, help. 687 00:33:08,746 --> 00:33:10,179 Shut up, you old bag. 688 00:33:10,346 --> 00:33:14,783 Stop, thief. Please, stop him. Stop him, he's got my marble rye. 689 00:33:15,186 --> 00:33:16,414 No further questions. 690 00:33:19,426 --> 00:33:21,382 I call Marla Penny to the stand. 691 00:33:21,626 --> 00:33:23,105 Call Marla Penny. 692 00:33:27,546 --> 00:33:28,774 The virgin. 693 00:33:31,186 --> 00:33:33,256 What was your connection to the defendants? 694 00:33:33,546 --> 00:33:37,983 I dated Mr. Seinfeld for several weeks in the autumn of 1992. 695 00:33:38,146 --> 00:33:41,422 Then on October 28th, there was an abrupt end to that relationship. 696 00:33:41,586 --> 00:33:42,814 Tell us what happened. 697 00:33:43,026 --> 00:33:45,494 Well, it's rather difficult to talk about. 698 00:33:45,906 --> 00:33:47,578 It's all right. Take your time. 699 00:33:47,746 --> 00:33:51,022 Well, I became aware of a... 700 00:33:51,186 --> 00:33:53,177 A what? 701 00:33:53,586 --> 00:33:55,656 - A... - Yes? 702 00:33:56,506 --> 00:33:58,383 A contest. 703 00:33:59,586 --> 00:34:01,417 - A contest? - Yes. 704 00:34:01,586 --> 00:34:03,577 What was the nature of the contest? 705 00:34:03,746 --> 00:34:05,020 Oh, please, I can't. 706 00:34:05,186 --> 00:34:07,017 It's okay. 707 00:34:07,586 --> 00:34:09,019 The four of them... 708 00:34:09,186 --> 00:34:12,064 ...made a wager to see if they could... - Yes? 709 00:34:12,946 --> 00:34:15,699 To see who could go the longest... 710 00:34:15,866 --> 00:34:18,175 ...without gratifying themselves. 711 00:34:18,626 --> 00:34:20,856 - Boy, this is an outrage. - For the love of God. 712 00:34:21,066 --> 00:34:23,261 It was horrible. Horrible. 713 00:34:26,346 --> 00:34:28,541 Call Donald Sanger to the stand. 714 00:34:28,826 --> 00:34:30,339 Who the hell is that? 715 00:34:30,506 --> 00:34:33,020 Come on, Donald. You're doing fine. 716 00:34:33,186 --> 00:34:35,381 - The Bubble Boy. - Bubble Boy? 717 00:34:35,546 --> 00:34:37,457 That's right, the Bubble Boy. 718 00:34:37,626 --> 00:34:38,695 What's a Bubble Boy? 719 00:34:38,866 --> 00:34:40,743 He's a boy who lives in a bubble. 720 00:34:41,786 --> 00:34:43,856 What the hell are you all looking at? 721 00:34:44,026 --> 00:34:46,335 Would you please tell the court about the incident... 722 00:34:46,506 --> 00:34:50,943 ...that occurred in your house, October 7th, 1992? 723 00:34:51,106 --> 00:34:54,257 Well, Jerry Seinfeld was supposed to come to my house... 724 00:34:54,426 --> 00:34:57,065 ...but his friend Costanza showed up instead. 725 00:34:57,226 --> 00:35:00,377 So I challenged him to a game of Trivial Pursuit. 726 00:35:00,986 --> 00:35:04,103 Who invaded Spain in the eighth century? 727 00:35:04,266 --> 00:35:06,222 That's a joke. The Moors. 728 00:35:06,386 --> 00:35:08,536 Oh, no. 729 00:35:09,386 --> 00:35:10,865 I'm so sorry, it's the Moops. 730 00:35:11,026 --> 00:35:13,256 The correct answer is the Moops. 731 00:35:13,426 --> 00:35:16,338 Moops? Let me see that. 732 00:35:17,346 --> 00:35:19,780 That's not Moops, you jerk. 733 00:35:19,946 --> 00:35:22,141 It's Moors. It's a misprint. 734 00:35:22,306 --> 00:35:25,457 I'm sorry. The card says Moops. 735 00:35:27,266 --> 00:35:29,143 It doesn't matter. It's Moors. 736 00:35:29,306 --> 00:35:31,945 There's no Moops. 737 00:35:32,106 --> 00:35:35,018 - It's Moops. - Moors. 738 00:35:35,586 --> 00:35:36,575 Moops. 739 00:35:36,746 --> 00:35:38,065 Help, someone. 740 00:35:38,226 --> 00:35:39,705 There's no Moops, you idiot. 741 00:35:39,906 --> 00:35:41,180 Stop it. Let go of him. 742 00:35:41,346 --> 00:35:42,779 Donald. Stop it. 743 00:35:42,946 --> 00:35:45,699 No. Donald, stop it. 744 00:35:54,786 --> 00:35:57,175 - It was Moops. - Moors. 745 00:35:57,346 --> 00:36:00,702 So Mr. Costanza parked in a handicapped spot, and as a result... 746 00:36:00,866 --> 00:36:03,903 ...you got in an accident and your wheelchair was destroyed? 747 00:36:04,106 --> 00:36:06,142 - That's right. - And then Mr. Kramer... 748 00:36:06,306 --> 00:36:08,581 ...gave you a used wheelchair? 749 00:36:08,746 --> 00:36:10,259 That's right. 750 00:36:19,626 --> 00:36:22,698 So you were the doctor on duty the night Susan Ross died? 751 00:36:22,866 --> 00:36:24,265 Yes, that's right. 752 00:36:24,466 --> 00:36:28,459 It was May 16th, 1996. 753 00:36:28,626 --> 00:36:29,900 I'll never forget it. 754 00:36:30,066 --> 00:36:32,580 So you broke the news to Mr. Costanza? 755 00:36:33,826 --> 00:36:36,545 Would you tell the court, please, what his reaction was. 756 00:36:37,106 --> 00:36:39,256 I would describe it... 757 00:36:39,426 --> 00:36:41,576 ...as restrained jubilation. 758 00:36:43,266 --> 00:36:44,904 - Murderer! - He killed our daughter. 759 00:36:45,066 --> 00:36:47,455 He knew those envelopes were toxic! 760 00:36:47,866 --> 00:36:49,504 Order in this court. 761 00:36:51,906 --> 00:36:54,500 Call Sidra Holland to the stand. 762 00:37:00,146 --> 00:37:02,216 Look at this one. She's fine. 763 00:37:04,146 --> 00:37:05,784 She's a 12. 764 00:37:05,946 --> 00:37:07,698 You dated her? 765 00:37:08,506 --> 00:37:10,861 So you met Jerry Seinfeld in a health club... 766 00:37:11,026 --> 00:37:13,984 ...sometime in 1993? - Yes. 767 00:37:14,146 --> 00:37:17,024 - You met Ms. Benes in the same club? - Yes, that's true. 768 00:37:17,186 --> 00:37:20,144 Would you describe the circumstances of that meeting? 769 00:37:20,746 --> 00:37:23,465 We were in the sauna, making chitchat. 770 00:37:23,626 --> 00:37:25,264 You know, I've seen you around the club. 771 00:37:25,426 --> 00:37:27,223 My name's Sidra. This is Marcy. 772 00:37:27,386 --> 00:37:28,455 Oh, hi. 773 00:37:28,626 --> 00:37:29,979 - I'm Elaine. - Hi. 774 00:37:32,706 --> 00:37:35,345 So she pretended to trip... 775 00:37:35,506 --> 00:37:38,066 ...and she fell into your breasts. 776 00:37:38,906 --> 00:37:40,464 Yes. 777 00:37:42,106 --> 00:37:43,255 Why would she do that? 778 00:37:43,426 --> 00:37:46,702 Because he sent her in there to find out if they were real. 779 00:37:50,346 --> 00:37:52,701 - State your name. - Bookman. Joe Bookman. 780 00:37:52,866 --> 00:37:55,664 - And what's your occupation? - I'm a library cop. 781 00:37:56,106 --> 00:37:58,176 What's a library cop do? 782 00:37:58,586 --> 00:38:00,781 We chase down library delinquents. 783 00:38:01,346 --> 00:38:04,144 Anyone in this room ever delinquent? 784 00:38:04,626 --> 00:38:06,776 Yeah, he was. Right over there. Seinfeld. 785 00:38:08,426 --> 00:38:11,577 - How long was his book overdue? - Twenty-five years. 786 00:38:14,466 --> 00:38:16,377 We don't call them delinquent after that long. 787 00:38:16,546 --> 00:38:18,138 - What do you call them? - Criminals. 788 00:38:19,026 --> 00:38:21,745 So you and Mr. Costanza were dating. 789 00:38:22,306 --> 00:38:24,376 - Yes. - And then what happened? 790 00:38:25,426 --> 00:38:29,738 Well, I invited him to attend my son's birthday party and... 791 00:38:30,226 --> 00:38:31,944 Fire! 792 00:38:37,746 --> 00:38:40,055 At the time, I was employed as a security guard... 793 00:38:40,226 --> 00:38:43,582 ...in the parking garage at the Garden Valley Shopping Mall. 794 00:38:48,786 --> 00:38:50,105 Okay, let's go. 795 00:38:50,266 --> 00:38:51,745 Why would I unless I was in danger? 796 00:38:51,906 --> 00:38:54,374 - I know it's against the law. - I don't know. 797 00:38:54,546 --> 00:38:58,300 Because I could get uromysitisis poisoning and die, that's why. 798 00:38:59,226 --> 00:39:01,740 Uromysitisis. 799 00:39:01,906 --> 00:39:04,818 I wonder if they're having any trouble controlling themselves now. 800 00:39:04,986 --> 00:39:08,103 Perhaps these two hooligans would like to have a pee party right here! 801 00:39:08,266 --> 00:39:10,700 Objection, Your Honour. This is completely inappropriate. 802 00:39:10,866 --> 00:39:12,902 My client's medical condition is not on trial. 803 00:39:13,066 --> 00:39:14,977 May I refer you to the Disability Act of 1990. 804 00:39:15,146 --> 00:39:17,262 Sit down, Mr. Chiles. 805 00:39:17,546 --> 00:39:19,264 All right, detective, then what happened? 806 00:39:19,426 --> 00:39:21,576 We got a tip that a lot of prostitutes had been... 807 00:39:21,746 --> 00:39:23,338 ...turning tricks in the parking lot. 808 00:39:23,506 --> 00:39:25,576 - You just cost me some money. - Hey, cool it, lady. 809 00:39:28,306 --> 00:39:29,341 Cool it. 810 00:39:29,506 --> 00:39:30,859 Cool it, lady. Cool it. 811 00:39:31,026 --> 00:39:33,540 Police officers. Freeze right there. 812 00:39:33,946 --> 00:39:37,734 So Cosmo Kramer was, in fact... 813 00:39:38,066 --> 00:39:39,499 ...a pimp. 814 00:39:40,386 --> 00:39:43,503 So you asked Mr. Seinfeld if he would wear your puffy shirt... 815 00:39:43,666 --> 00:39:44,860 ...on the Today show? 816 00:39:49,186 --> 00:39:50,938 Excuse me? 817 00:39:52,746 --> 00:39:55,340 Excuse me, Your Honour. What is the point of this testimony? 818 00:39:55,506 --> 00:39:57,576 This woman's a low talker. I can't hear a word. 819 00:39:57,746 --> 00:40:01,421 So either get some other kind of microphone up there or let's move on. 820 00:40:01,986 --> 00:40:04,500 Call George Steinbrenner to the stand. 821 00:40:04,706 --> 00:40:06,583 Call George Steinbrenner. 822 00:40:06,746 --> 00:40:09,943 So George Costanza came to work for you in May of 1994? 823 00:40:10,106 --> 00:40:12,142 That's right. He was a good kid. A lovely boy. 824 00:40:12,306 --> 00:40:14,979 Shared his calzone with me. That was a heck of a sandwich. 825 00:40:15,146 --> 00:40:17,865 Yes, sir, that was a good sandwich, sir. 826 00:40:18,026 --> 00:40:20,301 - Had one little problem though. - What was that? 827 00:40:20,466 --> 00:40:22,741 He was a communist. Pink as they come. 828 00:40:22,906 --> 00:40:25,215 Like a big, juicy steak. 829 00:40:25,626 --> 00:40:28,299 How could you give $12 million to Hideki Irabu? 830 00:40:28,466 --> 00:40:29,694 Order. 831 00:40:30,746 --> 00:40:31,735 Cockfighting? 832 00:40:32,506 --> 00:40:33,734 Cockfighting. 833 00:40:34,146 --> 00:40:37,297 Sponges. And I don't mean the kind you clean your tub with. 834 00:40:37,466 --> 00:40:38,455 They're for sex. 835 00:40:40,066 --> 00:40:42,375 She said she needed a whole case of them. 836 00:40:45,066 --> 00:40:46,340 She exposed her nipple. 837 00:40:48,626 --> 00:40:52,016 - How did she try to kill you? - She tried to smother me with a pillow. 838 00:40:53,426 --> 00:40:55,781 Call Yev Kassem to the stand. 839 00:40:55,946 --> 00:40:58,779 - Call Yev Kassem. - Who? 840 00:41:01,226 --> 00:41:02,818 The Soup Nazi. 841 00:41:02,986 --> 00:41:03,975 Soup Nazi? 842 00:41:04,146 --> 00:41:06,706 You people have a little pet name for everybody. 843 00:41:07,226 --> 00:41:08,215 State your name. 844 00:41:08,386 --> 00:41:10,456 - Yev Kassem. - Could you spell that, please? 845 00:41:10,626 --> 00:41:12,105 No. Next question. 846 00:41:14,306 --> 00:41:17,264 - How do you know the defendants? - They used to come to my restaurant. 847 00:41:22,466 --> 00:41:24,457 Medium turkey chilli. 848 00:41:27,426 --> 00:41:29,257 Medium crab bisque. 849 00:41:35,426 --> 00:41:38,384 - I didn't get any bread. - Just forget it. Let it go. 850 00:41:40,866 --> 00:41:43,175 Excuse me. I think you forgot my bread. 851 00:41:43,346 --> 00:41:44,938 - You want bread? - Yes, please. 852 00:41:45,106 --> 00:41:46,698 Three dollars. 853 00:41:47,266 --> 00:41:48,779 - What? - No soup for you. 854 00:41:53,746 --> 00:41:55,816 But the idiot clowns did not know how to order. 855 00:41:56,906 --> 00:42:00,057 I banned that one, the woman, for a year. 856 00:42:00,226 --> 00:42:01,739 Then one day... 857 00:42:01,906 --> 00:42:03,134 ...she came back. 858 00:42:03,306 --> 00:42:06,264 Five cups chopped porcine mushrooms... 859 00:42:06,426 --> 00:42:08,257 ...half a cup of olive oil... 860 00:42:08,426 --> 00:42:10,337 ...three pounds celery... 861 00:42:10,506 --> 00:42:12,303 That's my recipe for wild mushroom. 862 00:42:12,786 --> 00:42:14,219 You're through, Soup Nazi. 863 00:42:14,666 --> 00:42:15,655 Pack it up. 864 00:42:16,146 --> 00:42:18,376 No more soup for you. 865 00:42:18,546 --> 00:42:19,661 Next! 866 00:42:21,066 --> 00:42:22,818 She published my recipes. 867 00:42:22,986 --> 00:42:26,217 I had to close the store and move to Argentina. 868 00:42:26,386 --> 00:42:28,377 She ruined my business. 869 00:42:28,546 --> 00:42:30,616 His soup's not all that good anyway. 870 00:42:30,786 --> 00:42:32,697 What did you say? 871 00:42:34,746 --> 00:42:38,056 The state calls Mr. Babu Bhatt to the stand. 872 00:42:38,466 --> 00:42:41,663 - How did they find Babu? - I thought he was deported. 873 00:42:48,946 --> 00:42:51,301 You've come a long way to be here today, haven't you? 874 00:42:51,466 --> 00:42:54,697 Yes. All the way from Pakistan. 875 00:42:54,866 --> 00:42:56,936 And what's your connection to the defendants? 876 00:42:57,426 --> 00:42:59,542 I owned a restaurant. 877 00:42:59,706 --> 00:43:02,698 Seinfeld told me to change the menu to Pakistani. 878 00:43:02,866 --> 00:43:04,299 But nobody came. 879 00:43:04,466 --> 00:43:06,138 There were no people. 880 00:43:06,306 --> 00:43:07,455 And then what happened? 881 00:43:07,626 --> 00:43:11,335 Then he got me an apartment in his building... 882 00:43:11,506 --> 00:43:12,939 ...but they mixed up the mail... 883 00:43:13,106 --> 00:43:16,462 ...and I never got my immigration renewal papers. 884 00:43:16,626 --> 00:43:17,979 So they deported me. 885 00:43:20,466 --> 00:43:24,857 It's all his fault. Him and the woman. 886 00:43:25,026 --> 00:43:28,143 But they did not care. They're totally indifferent. 887 00:43:28,306 --> 00:43:30,979 All they do is mock me. Just like they did the fat fellow. 888 00:43:31,146 --> 00:43:34,024 All the time mocking, mocking, mocking. 889 00:43:34,186 --> 00:43:35,255 All the time. 890 00:43:35,426 --> 00:43:38,065 Now it is Babu's turn to mock. 891 00:43:38,226 --> 00:43:40,865 Finally, I will have some justice. 892 00:43:41,026 --> 00:43:44,063 Send them away. Send them all away. Lock them up forever. 893 00:43:44,626 --> 00:43:46,856 They're not human. 894 00:43:47,066 --> 00:43:48,340 They're very bad. 895 00:43:48,506 --> 00:43:51,020 Very, very, very bad. 896 00:44:03,906 --> 00:44:07,865 Hi, I'm Geraldo Rivera, and welcome to this special edition of Rivera Live. 897 00:44:08,026 --> 00:44:10,859 Arguments in the Good Samaritan trial ended today... 898 00:44:11,026 --> 00:44:15,258 ...the jury has been in deliberation for four and a half hours now. 899 00:44:15,426 --> 00:44:18,224 Let's go live to Jane Wells, who is in Latham, Massachusetts... 900 00:44:18,386 --> 00:44:20,217 ...covering this trial for us. Jane. 901 00:44:20,386 --> 00:44:23,264 Just a few minutes ago, the jury ask ed to see the videotape. 902 00:44:23,466 --> 00:44:26,936 That's the one where they are overheard making sarcastic remarks... 903 00:44:27,106 --> 00:44:28,459 ...during the robbery. 904 00:44:28,626 --> 00:44:30,742 Yes, it's a very incriminating piece of evidence. 905 00:44:30,906 --> 00:44:32,180 But I must tell you, Geraldo... 906 00:44:32,346 --> 00:44:34,860 ... this courtroom and everyone who's attended this trial... 907 00:44:35,026 --> 00:44:37,494 ... is still reeling from the endless parade of witnesses... 908 00:44:37,666 --> 00:44:39,463 ... who've come forth so enthusiastically... 909 00:44:39,626 --> 00:44:42,504 ... to testify against these four seemingly ordinary people. 910 00:44:42,666 --> 00:44:45,897 One had the feeling that if Judge Vandelay didn't put a stop to it... 911 00:44:46,066 --> 00:44:47,658 ...it could have gone on for months. 912 00:44:47,826 --> 00:44:50,135 Jane, whose testimony do you think resonated... 913 00:44:50,306 --> 00:44:52,695 ...most strongly with this jury? 914 00:44:52,866 --> 00:44:54,015 That is so hard to say. 915 00:44:54,186 --> 00:44:56,746 Certainly, there's the doctor with the poison invitations. 916 00:44:56,906 --> 00:45:00,501 The Bubble Boy was an extremely sympathetic and tragic figure. 917 00:45:00,666 --> 00:45:04,454 And that bizarre contest certainly didn't sit well with this small-town jury. 918 00:45:04,626 --> 00:45:07,015 There's the woman they sold the defective wheelchair to. 919 00:45:07,186 --> 00:45:09,222 The deported Pakistani restaurateur. 920 00:45:09,386 --> 00:45:14,335 Geraldo, it just went on and on and on into the night. 921 00:45:14,546 --> 00:45:16,457 And so we wait. 922 00:45:18,986 --> 00:45:21,978 Do they make you wear uniforms in prison? 923 00:45:22,346 --> 00:45:23,335 I think so. 924 00:45:23,506 --> 00:45:25,656 It's not that bright orange one, is it? 925 00:45:25,826 --> 00:45:27,179 I hope it's not that one... 926 00:45:27,346 --> 00:45:30,656 ...because I cannot wear orange. 927 00:45:30,866 --> 00:45:31,855 Will you stop worrying? 928 00:45:32,026 --> 00:45:34,335 Jackie's gonna get us off. He never loses. 929 00:45:34,506 --> 00:45:36,656 How about when he asked that cop if a black man... 930 00:45:36,826 --> 00:45:40,535 ...had ever been to his house. Did you see the look on his face? 931 00:45:43,546 --> 00:45:45,502 Sorry to bother you, judge. 932 00:45:45,666 --> 00:45:47,099 How did you get in here? 933 00:45:47,266 --> 00:45:49,780 Please. If he's found guilty... 934 00:45:49,946 --> 00:45:52,301 ...please be kind to him. 935 00:45:52,466 --> 00:45:54,184 He's a good boy. 936 00:45:54,346 --> 00:45:56,257 This is highly irregular. 937 00:45:56,426 --> 00:45:59,736 Well, maybe there's something I can do for you. 938 00:45:59,906 --> 00:46:01,180 What do you mean? 939 00:46:01,346 --> 00:46:03,177 You know. 940 00:46:47,186 --> 00:46:50,940 Oh, Jackie. You're so articulate. 941 00:46:51,106 --> 00:46:53,222 We got plenty of time too. 942 00:46:53,386 --> 00:46:56,139 This jury could be out for days. 943 00:47:01,226 --> 00:47:02,579 Hello. 944 00:47:03,386 --> 00:47:04,819 Damn. 945 00:47:07,826 --> 00:47:09,418 They're ready. 946 00:47:15,626 --> 00:47:18,698 Hey, Elaine. What was it you were about to say to me on the plane... 947 00:47:18,866 --> 00:47:20,458 ...when it was going down? 948 00:47:21,906 --> 00:47:23,419 I've always loved... 949 00:47:23,586 --> 00:47:26,942 ...United Airlines. 950 00:47:55,426 --> 00:47:57,018 I think it's gonna be okay. 951 00:47:57,506 --> 00:47:59,656 That girl just smiled at me. 952 00:47:59,826 --> 00:48:02,545 Maybe because she knows you're going to jail. 953 00:48:03,026 --> 00:48:04,618 What? 954 00:48:05,426 --> 00:48:07,098 All rise. 955 00:48:15,946 --> 00:48:18,904 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury... 956 00:48:19,066 --> 00:48:21,022 ...have you reached a verdict? 957 00:48:21,906 --> 00:48:23,180 We have, Your Honour. 958 00:48:48,146 --> 00:48:51,263 Will the defendants please rise? 959 00:48:54,506 --> 00:48:58,977 And how do you find with respect to the charge of criminal indifference? 960 00:48:59,386 --> 00:49:01,581 We find the defendants... 961 00:49:01,866 --> 00:49:02,855 ...guilty. 962 00:49:05,026 --> 00:49:06,379 Oh, no! 963 00:49:07,066 --> 00:49:08,704 Order in this court. 964 00:49:12,386 --> 00:49:14,980 Order! Order in this court! 965 00:49:15,146 --> 00:49:17,421 I will clear this room. 966 00:49:18,066 --> 00:49:20,705 I do not know how... 967 00:49:20,866 --> 00:49:24,620 ...or under what circumstances the four of you found each other. 968 00:49:26,106 --> 00:49:29,735 But your callous indifference and utter disregard... 969 00:49:29,906 --> 00:49:33,899 ...for everything that is good and decent... 970 00:49:34,066 --> 00:49:38,457 ...has rocked the very foundation upon which our society is built. 971 00:49:39,346 --> 00:49:42,702 I can think of nothing more fitting... 972 00:49:42,866 --> 00:49:45,824 ...than for the four of you to spend a year... 973 00:49:45,986 --> 00:49:48,216 ...removed from society... 974 00:49:49,106 --> 00:49:51,142 ...so that you can contemplate... 975 00:49:51,306 --> 00:49:55,982 ...the manner in which you have conducted yourselves. 976 00:49:57,226 --> 00:49:59,342 I know I will. 977 00:50:01,186 --> 00:50:03,336 This court is adjourned. 978 00:50:03,786 --> 00:50:05,344 You had to hop. 979 00:50:05,506 --> 00:50:07,736 You had to hop on the plane! 980 00:50:09,106 --> 00:50:10,539 Puddy. 981 00:50:11,106 --> 00:50:13,904 - Don't wait for me. - All right. 982 00:50:15,746 --> 00:50:16,861 We gotta get out of here. 983 00:50:17,026 --> 00:50:18,778 We wanna beat the traffic. 984 00:50:19,386 --> 00:50:21,581 Come on, Jackie. Let's go. 985 00:50:23,386 --> 00:50:25,104 What? 986 00:50:26,466 --> 00:50:27,945 Oh, and by the way... 987 00:50:28,106 --> 00:50:31,781 ...they're real, and they're spectacular. 988 00:50:37,146 --> 00:50:38,864 Well, it's only a year. 989 00:50:39,026 --> 00:50:40,539 That's not so bad. 990 00:50:40,706 --> 00:50:42,264 We'll be out in a year. 991 00:50:42,426 --> 00:50:43,654 And then we'll be back. 992 00:50:43,826 --> 00:50:45,054 Could be fun. 993 00:50:45,226 --> 00:50:48,377 Don't have to worry about your meals or what you're gonna do Saturdays. 994 00:50:48,546 --> 00:50:49,581 And they do shows. 995 00:50:49,746 --> 00:50:51,099 Yeah, we could put on a show. 996 00:50:51,266 --> 00:50:54,338 Maybe Bye Bye Birdie or My Fair Lady. 997 00:50:54,506 --> 00:50:57,384 Yeah, Elaine, you could be Eliza Doolittle. 998 00:50:57,946 --> 00:50:59,777 Why don't you just blow it out your a...? 999 00:51:19,586 --> 00:51:23,977 If I call Jill from prison, you think that would make up for the other ones? 1000 00:51:24,146 --> 00:51:27,661 - Sure. - Because you only get one call. 1001 00:51:27,826 --> 00:51:31,421 The prison call is like the king of calls. 1002 00:51:31,586 --> 00:51:34,054 I think that would be a very nice gesture. 1003 00:51:43,106 --> 00:51:44,175 I got it. 1004 00:51:44,346 --> 00:51:45,904 It's out. 1005 00:51:49,346 --> 00:51:50,938 Not that bad, huh? 1006 00:51:51,106 --> 00:51:53,574 Oh, boy, what a relief. 1007 00:51:55,106 --> 00:51:58,701 See, now, to me, that button is in the worst possible spot. 1008 00:51:59,466 --> 00:52:00,979 - Really? - Oh, yeah. 1009 00:52:01,186 --> 00:52:03,336 The second button is the key button. 1010 00:52:03,506 --> 00:52:05,417 It literally makes or breaks the shirt. 1011 00:52:05,586 --> 00:52:07,338 Look at it. It's too high. 1012 00:52:07,506 --> 00:52:09,417 It's in no man's land. 1013 00:52:10,586 --> 00:52:12,861 Haven't we had this conversation before? 1014 00:52:13,026 --> 00:52:14,744 You think? 1015 00:52:15,066 --> 00:52:16,863 I think we have. 1016 00:52:17,026 --> 00:52:19,335 Yeah, maybe we have. 1017 00:52:29,706 --> 00:52:31,378 So, what is the deal with the yard? 1018 00:52:31,546 --> 00:52:33,696 When I was a kid, my mother wanted me to play in the yard... 1019 00:52:33,866 --> 00:52:36,141 ...but she didn't have to worry about my neighbour... 1020 00:52:36,306 --> 00:52:37,898 ...sticking a shiv in my thigh. 1021 00:52:40,586 --> 00:52:43,259 What's with the lockdown? Why do we have to be locked in cells? 1022 00:52:43,426 --> 00:52:46,862 Are we that bad that we have to be sent to prison in prison? 1023 00:52:47,026 --> 00:52:49,904 You would think the weightlifting and the sodomy is enough. 1024 00:52:52,426 --> 00:52:55,020 - So anyone from Cellblock D? - I am. 1025 00:52:55,186 --> 00:52:57,097 I'll talk slower. 1026 00:52:57,626 --> 00:52:59,025 I'm kidding. I love Cellblock D. 1027 00:52:59,186 --> 00:53:00,938 My friend George is in Cellblock D. 1028 00:53:03,906 --> 00:53:05,862 - What are you in for, sir? - Murder one. 1029 00:53:06,026 --> 00:53:07,698 Murder one. 1030 00:53:08,066 --> 00:53:10,296 Watch out, everybody. Better be nice to you. 1031 00:53:10,466 --> 00:53:12,343 I'm only kidding, sir. Lighten up. 1032 00:53:12,506 --> 00:53:14,417 - How about you? - Grand theft auto. 1033 00:53:14,586 --> 00:53:16,497 Grand theft auto. Don't steal any of my jokes. 1034 00:53:16,666 --> 00:53:18,179 You suck. I'm gonna cut you. 1035 00:53:18,346 --> 00:53:20,906 I don't knock the licence plate out of your hand. 1036 00:53:21,066 --> 00:53:23,182 All right, Seinfeld, that's it. Let's go. Come on. 1037 00:53:23,346 --> 00:53:24,779 All right. Hey, you've been great. 1038 00:53:24,946 --> 00:53:27,335 See you in the cafeteria.