1 00:00:01,251 --> 00:00:03,212 Narrator: Previously onstargate sg—1. 2 00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:06,924 I'm not just interested in outer space, 3 00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:08,926 I'm from outer space. 4 00:00:09,218 --> 00:00:10,698 Announcer on TV: Four excellent heroes 5 00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:13,514 in an extraordinary new sci—fi series, 6 00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:17,100 starring Nick marlowe as the wry colonel danning. 7 00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:21,104 As a matter of fact, it does say "colonel" on my uniform. 8 00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:24,107 An nouncer: Worm hole x—treme. 9 00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:25,817 It's what I do. 10 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,836 Hammond: He sold the idea to the studio. 11 00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:29,225 He obviously got the whole thing 12 00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:30,798 from his knowledge of the Stargate program. 13 00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:32,509 No, if the air force didn't want it to happen, 14 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,701 they wouldn't have let it go this far. 15 00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:39,289 Come on out. 16 00:00:40,249 --> 00:00:42,793 Furling: We are the furlings. 17 00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:45,712 We thought we'd never get to meet you. 18 00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:55,013 Teal'c: We led them straight here. 19 00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,476 Sam! I thought I could make it work. 20 00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:04,648 The thermodynamic loop is feeding back into the planet's core. 21 00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:13,424 Carter: Well, that never happened. 22 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:15,593 Well, you've got to open big, catch people's attention, 23 00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:19,121 make them think the whole thing is going to bejam—packed. 24 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,747 I love jam. 25 00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:22,624 Oh, I get it, 26 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:26,795 it's yet another playful twist on words in your earth language. 27 00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:29,256 It makes us look stupid. 28 00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:31,188 Jackson: You realize it's not actually us. 29 00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,760 Okay, okay, it makes the characters look stupid. 30 00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:37,389 I mean, do you really think the best way to introduce the heroes of the story 31 00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:40,100 is to show them causing a massive catastrophe? 32 00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:42,185 That's realistic. 33 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:43,186 I don't care. 34 00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:44,187 Come on. It'll be fun. 35 00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,039 You know, you say that about everything. 36 00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:47,748 Come to think of it, why am I doing this? 37 00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:51,320 To make sure that the air force is being properly represented 38 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,780 and because general O'Neill 39 00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:56,867 has requested you specifically. 40 00:01:57,159 --> 00:01:58,201 Of course he did. 41 00:01:58,493 --> 00:02:00,203 Jackson, how often do we get to give 42 00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:02,205 notes on a big Hollywood feature script? 43 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,475 I believe this is intended to be a television movie. 44 00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:09,504 A fictionalized, albeit slightly ridiculous, version of Stargate command 45 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,465 is an excellent cover for the real thing 46 00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:13,467 in the event of a security leak. 47 00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:14,759 Plausible deniability. 48 00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:16,806 I'm sorry, sir, did you say slightly ridiculous? 49 00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:19,473 You're doing this. You have no choice. 50 00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:21,308 Just give the man five minutes. 51 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,603 I'll get you out of this when the time comes. 52 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,690 Vala: Um, I've been looking through this, 53 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,942 and there doesn't seem to be any mention of 54 00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:35,197 a sexy female alien anywhere. 55 00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:36,864 I'm not even in this. 56 00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:38,707 Carter: You know, the really unbelievable part 57 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,470 is that anyone would consider spending 58 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,245 millions of dollars this thing. 59 00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:43,937 I mean, seriously, all these writers 60 00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:45,516 and they couldn't come up with anything better? 61 00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:48,251 I don't know, I've been watching a lot of television lately 62 00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,253 and, apart from one glaring omission, 63 00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:52,255 it doesn't seem to be that bad. 64 00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:55,258 Maybe we can make it better. 65 00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:55,926 No, I'm with Sam on this one. 66 00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:57,818 I mean, who makes a movie out of a series 67 00:02:57,886 --> 00:02:59,179 that only lasted three episodes? 68 00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:02,265 It allegedly performed well on DVD. 69 00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:05,894 No, I'm not using any shots from the series. 70 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,897 It's a movie, not a clip show. 71 00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:09,898 The budget is the budget. 72 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:13,985 They are a bunch of pencil—pushing, bean—counting idiots. 73 00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,279 You tell them if they don't like it, 74 00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:19,449 I'm going to take it somewhere else. 75 00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:24,871 You know not to say that last part, right? 76 00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:29,167 Yeah, movie, not clip show, is fine. 77 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:33,839 Yeah, I've got to go. Yeah. 78 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:38,635 Your cell coverage is just terrible in here. 79 00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:41,179 How's it going? You done? 80 00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:49,813 Well, it certainly seems to be packed full of jam. 81 00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:51,905 I knew I should have given you my first draft. 82 00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:55,318 The producer brought in the other writers. 83 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:56,987 I thought you were the producer. 84 00:03:57,279 --> 00:03:58,572 Yeah, the real one. 85 00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:00,824 Look, just be honest. 86 00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:04,286 I trust you guys. That's why I'm here. 87 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:07,205 Just tell me what you think. 88 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,461 Martin: Come on, you must have some ideas. 89 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:15,338 Don't be afraid. Just pitch them out. 90 00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:17,340 We call it spinning. 91 00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:20,927 Don't worry. No one's going to judge you. 92 00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:24,556 Okay, for starters, I think you need 93 00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:26,892 a strong opening title sequence. 94 00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:28,184 Are you serious? 95 00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:29,310 No one does that anymore. 96 00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:32,439 You just throw up the title and get on with it. 97 00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:04,095 Walter! Dial 447. 98 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:08,809 The only way to stop this is to get the device back to the planet. 99 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,656 Bam, bam! 100 00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:30,330 Look, uh, no offense, but zombies have been done to death. 101 00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:32,833 No pun intended. 102 00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:35,919 Besides, this is science fiction, not horror. 103 00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:36,878 Did I mention the tel'chak device? 104 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:40,423 'Cause that's what turned them into zombies. 105 00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:43,218 Sorry. Go for Marty. 106 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:46,179 Oh, hey, Charlie. What's up? 107 00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:48,473 It's the studio. 108 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,182 What kind of problem? 109 00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:52,548 Just out of curiosity, what was the rest of the team doing 110 00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:56,106 while your character was fighting the zombies? 111 00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:03,071 Martin: Son of a bitch! 112 00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:04,530 Studio executives, huh? 113 00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:08,618 What? Oh, no, Charlie, he's a great guy. 114 00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,453 He's the only one I trust. 115 00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:12,664 So, what's the problem then? 116 00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:13,456 Our lead backed out. 117 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:16,668 How am I supposed to tell a story without my lead character? 118 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:20,672 Easy. You just bring in a character to replace him. 119 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:26,510 What? 120 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:27,470 Martin: You guys have to help me. 121 00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:31,474 I mean, how can I keep the main character in the story 122 00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:34,769 without actually having the actor who plays him? 123 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:39,190 Well, you could have the other characters refer to him all the time, 124 00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,484 maybe get him on the phone once in a while. 125 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:45,780 Oh, yea h, right. I mean something cool, 126 00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:50,493 like face—switching or body—swapping. 127 00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:52,621 As if anyone would believe that. 128 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:57,459 Come on, you guys must have some real—life experiences I can draw on. 129 00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:02,505 Oh, well, there was that time that colonel O'Neill was invisible. 130 00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:05,508 So, essentially, what I think happened is that you were bombarded 131 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,678 by the particle field being emanated by the cloaking generator. 132 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,514 See, you were in the engine room standing right next to it 133 00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,183 when the device was turned on. 134 00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,769 That would account for the minute traces of radiation 135 00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:16,519 we've been picking up from you. 136 00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:20,398 But the good news is, I think I've found a way to reverse the process. 137 00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:24,361 We have to go back to the mothership and get the cloaking generator. 138 00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:25,236 Sam, who are you talking to? 139 00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:27,530 Oh, colonel O'Neill. I was just explaining to him 140 00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,532 how we're going to make him visible again. 141 00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:31,534 No, you're not. 142 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:34,537 Jack's in Hammond's office. 143 00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,629 I can't believe he did that to me again. Yeah. 144 00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:39,542 You know, getting that cloaking generator offthat mothership, 145 00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:40,543 that's going to be the least of our problems. 146 00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:44,839 Now, getting Jack to help, that's going to be the hard part. 147 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,841 Oh, don't tell me. Oh, yes. 148 00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:48,593 He likes being invisible. 149 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:02,440 And so, by translating this tablet, 150 00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,025 we should be able to determine 151 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:07,404 the most important thing in the universe. 152 00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:18,581 Everyone just want to poke around, 153 00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:20,667 see if you can find him? 154 00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:24,212 Sir, are you there? 155 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,801 O'Neill: Nope. 156 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,221 You cannot remain this way, O'Neill. 157 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,513 Why not? 158 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,766 It gives us an advantage over the Goa'uld. 159 00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:41,104 I can sneak around all I want totally undetected. 160 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:44,607 I give us the element of surprise. 161 00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:49,612 The bottom line is I can do more for this planet invisible 162 00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:53,575 than I ever could as my own sweet, salient self. 163 00:08:56,786 --> 00:09:00,540 I assume I'm staring at you stoically. 164 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,501 Not buying it, eh? 165 00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:04,127 No. 166 00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:06,963 You are most transparent, O'Neill. 167 00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:11,676 Oh, I get it. Good one. 168 00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,304 I can see right through you. 169 00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:16,097 Don't push it. 170 00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:43,958 O'Neill: Hello? Hand signals? 171 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,336 I'm waving you over. 172 00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:49,815 Okay, I've made the necessary adjustments. 173 00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:53,176 All you have to do now is initiate the sequence. 174 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,095 Okay. 175 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,430 Let's do it. 176 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:06,272 O'Neill: Oh, yeah. This is better. 177 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:10,401 It might feel like kind of a cheat. 178 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:14,405 Maybe it's best just not to mention the guy at all. 179 00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:19,702 Yeah, besides, invisibility can be very powerful. 180 00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:21,996 You might not want to open that can of worms. 181 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,707 You don't want your heroes to become too powerful. 182 00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:28,711 Well, you could always invent some negative side—effects. 183 00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:32,173 That's how we talked colonel O'Neill into becoming visible again. 184 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:35,677 Okay, that's it, sg—I, you are cleared to leave. 185 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,369 Thank you. Martin: They can't leave! 186 00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:38,988 They haven't finished reading my script! 187 00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:41,558 That's funny, I thought it said "general" on my uniform. 188 00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:44,727 We owe you one, sir. You mean another one. 189 00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:45,687 What are you talking about? 190 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,206 I thought you said it was going to be fun. 191 00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:49,440 Not after his zombie idea got shot down. 192 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,985 So, where are you guys all off to? 193 00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:54,654 Some place pretty important, huh? 194 00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:56,739 It's just a recon mission, isn't it? 195 00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:58,031 "Just" a recon mission? 196 00:10:58,074 --> 00:10:58,741 This is no simple recon mission. 197 00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:02,078 This is no less than my 200th trip through the gate. 198 00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:02,829 Really? 199 00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:03,746 You're counting? You bet. 200 00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:06,958 Teal'c: I have been reflecting while changing into our gear. 201 00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:10,753 I believe this is far from your 200th mission, colonel Mitchell. 202 00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:12,130 I didn't say 200th mission. 203 00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:14,215 I said 200th trip through the gate. 204 00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:15,787 That's counting off—world gates, 205 00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:17,343 back and forth, pretty much anytime 206 00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:19,137 I crossed the event horizon. 207 00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:22,765 Yeah. This is going to be huge. 208 00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:25,268 The big zoo. 209 00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:39,782 Fix it. Quickly. 210 00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:41,201 I'm on it. 211 00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:43,161 Indeed. 212 00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:47,665 Gotta go! 213 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:50,517 We've got 10 seconds before the time dilation field is activated. 214 00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:55,006 If we don't make it through the gate, we'll be stuck here forever! 215 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,596 Okay, this could be a problem. 216 00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:03,806 That was close, huh? 217 00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:04,641 Oh, yeah. 218 00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:07,143 Jackson: Are you serious? Martin: What? 219 00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:09,145 How did we escape? 220 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:09,896 They. 221 00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:13,858 Fine, they, they, they. How did they escape? 222 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:14,817 Isn't it obvious? 223 00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:16,945 Even if the valley wasn't filled with Jaffa, 224 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:21,824 we could never have made it to the gate and dialed out in under 10 seconds. 225 00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:24,244 Good. See, that's why we're here. 226 00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:26,955 So, what do you think? 227 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,916 Maybe not such a round number. 228 00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:30,917 How about 38? 229 00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:34,254 What difference does it make? I mean, it's not like you're going to have 230 00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:36,756 an actual ticking clock on the screen. 231 00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:38,299 That's brilliant! 232 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:39,008 That's ridiculous. 233 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,845 Trust me, jeopardy plus ticking clock is box office. 234 00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:46,391 It's the e equals mc—squared of the entertainment world. 235 00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:47,141 Ask any executive. 236 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:51,187 Except I think you've replaced jeopardy with certain death. 237 00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:53,231 Oh, come on. You guys have escaped 238 00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:56,317 situations more dire than this before. 239 00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:57,734 He has a point. 240 00:12:57,944 --> 00:12:59,737 So show the actual escape. 241 00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:00,738 Oh, no, no, no. 242 00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:03,199 You can't give away too much, too early. 243 00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:04,033 It'll step on the ending. 244 00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:07,537 Maybe if my character doesn't say, "this is a problem." 245 00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:10,498 He could say something like, "this should be easy." 246 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,959 How many times do I have to tell you? 247 00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:13,918 It's not you. 248 00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:18,381 Colonel danning is based on colonel O'Neill. 249 00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:23,886 Please tell me you have the gate working again. 250 00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:25,638 We're running another diagnostic, 251 00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:26,347 but right now, we're stumped. 252 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,409 The power's getting through to the capacitors, 253 00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:30,852 but, for some reason, the charge isn't holding. 254 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,464 That's causing the control crystal 255 00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:33,922 to send feedback into the interface 256 00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:35,348 and reset the programing code 257 00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:37,567 of the base computer's dialing protocol. 258 00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:41,863 Whoa! That was awesome. Say that again. 259 00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:44,365 No. 260 00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:46,909 Oh. Everybody, take five. 261 00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:49,329 I've got to get that down before I forget it. 262 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,664 Martin: The power getting to the flux capacitor, 263 00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:55,960 but feedback is not feeding back into the feedback face. 264 00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:57,295 This is gold! 265 00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:58,671 Hey. 266 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,423 Forget about the techno talk. 267 00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:03,009 No one's really interested in it. 268 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:04,843 You're an alien, right? 269 00:14:04,886 --> 00:14:07,096 Exactly, and I know just what this movie needs. 270 00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:10,183 So how would you know what sci—fi fans from earth 271 00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:12,310 would be interested in? 272 00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,479 Aren't you also an alien? 273 00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,773 Yeah, but I've been here quite a while. 274 00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:20,109 Right. Look, I think I know a good story when I hear one. 275 00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:24,072 Don't you want this movie to appeal to a broad range of people? 276 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:24,739 From earth. 277 00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:26,783 I have all kinds of fabulous adventures, 278 00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:31,245 none of which have been classified by the air force. 279 00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:34,207 Okay, shoot. Give me your best one. 280 00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:34,832 Right. 281 00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:37,835 I was in a stolen cargo ship, on my way home, 282 00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:39,754 when a solar flare from a nearby star 283 00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,631 wreaked havoc with my navigation system 284 00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:44,801 and I was forced to crash—land on the nearest planet. 285 00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:45,593 In a bizarre twist of fate, 286 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,388 I crashed right on top of the Goa'uld who ruled that planet, 287 00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:52,642 which was fortunate because my ship was too badly damaged to repair 288 00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:54,060 and I needed help. 289 00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:57,772 The local villagers were very grateful. 290 00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:01,109 They introduced me to a lovely fair—haired tok'ra 291 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,985 who had been hiding out on the planet. 292 00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:05,738 She told me the legend of a powerful ascended being 293 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:09,534 who supposedly lived in some distant, far—off mountains 294 00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:10,969 through a treacherous forest. 295 00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:12,554 Look, I don't have all day. Cut to the chase. 296 00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:15,456 All right. I met up with a number of my friends along the way, 297 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,000 and after a dangerous and eventful journey, 298 00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:22,296 we finally come face to face with the ascended being. 299 00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,048 What can I do for you? 300 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,551 Well, at first I thought I just wanted to go home, 301 00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:31,055 but now I've decided I'd quite like to be a part of something. 302 00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:34,600 A regular part, if you catch my drift. 303 00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:39,021 Oh, and these guys have their own issues. Boys? 304 00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:52,201 That's the wizard of oz. 305 00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:56,038 Oh, you've seen that one? 306 00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:57,498 Uh, yeah. 307 00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:01,002 Oh, that's my phone. Martin Lloyd. 308 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:02,879 I didn't hear it ring. 309 00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:04,338 It's on vibrate. 310 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,340 Martin: Yes, go ahead. 311 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,134 I can sing. 312 00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:12,889 So how's it going? 313 00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:14,181 Not well. 314 00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:15,600 Samantha, 200 is waiting. 315 00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:17,932 Right now, I'm just hoping we haven't done something 316 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,228 to permanently damage the gate. 317 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,023 How can something work perfectly fine for 10 years 318 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,075 then all of a sudden it doesn't work anymore? 319 00:16:24,192 --> 00:16:27,153 I don't know. Okay, try it now. 320 00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:33,659 Uh, we're getting some strange power readings here, colonel. 321 00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:35,995 Shut it down. 322 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:36,913 It's not responding. 323 00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:40,166 The gate's drawing massive amounts of energy into its capacitors. 324 00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:43,169 Close the blast door and the Iris. 325 00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:53,763 I can't shut it down. 326 00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:56,307 Siler, manually cut the power! 327 00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:10,112 Why does this always happen to me? 328 00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:13,199 Sir, we have to evacuate the base! 329 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:14,659 This is general Landry. 330 00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:16,494 I'm declaring a code red emergency. 331 00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:19,288 All personnel, evacuate the base immediately. 332 00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,620 Sir, the capacitors are overloading. 333 00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:23,668 We have to get out of here now. 334 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,169 H urry. 335 00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:34,679 And that is the end of act two. 336 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,016 The mountain blows up? 337 00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:40,508 No possible hope for survival. 338 00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:44,564 Cool, huh? I just wrote it based on what's going on with the gate. 339 00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:47,191 I love it when art imitates life. 340 00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:50,653 Hang on. We're alive in the next scene. 341 00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:53,072 Oh, I just haven't fixed that part yet. 342 00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:55,283 I'm thinking I can back—sell it and say 343 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,035 you were beamed out at the last second. 344 00:17:58,327 --> 00:17:59,327 Jackson: Beamed out? 345 00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:00,204 Sure. Why not? 346 00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:01,914 Is that not too convenient? 347 00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:03,791 Martin: Not if you hang a lantern on it. 348 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,626 What's that? It's a writer's term. 349 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:09,630 Another character points out how convenient it is. 350 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:14,635 Dr. Levant can say, "well, that was great timing." 351 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,470 That way the audience knows 352 00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:19,390 I intended for it to be convenient, 353 00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:21,225 and we move on. 354 00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:22,768 Really. 355 00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:24,437 Okay, where were we? 356 00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:25,729 Scene 24. 357 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:29,150 Oh, great, one of my favorite scenes. 358 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:30,985 Go ahead. 359 00:18:34,155 --> 00:18:36,115 Um, "interior bridge. 360 00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:38,075 Vala: "The crew mans their stations." 361 00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,287 I'm picking up a strange energy anomaly, colonel. 362 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:43,039 It appears the singularity is about to explode. 363 00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:44,331 Weapons are at maximum. 364 00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:46,125 Damn it, captain! Solar flare. 365 00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:48,294 We've got a shockwave heading straight for us. 366 00:18:48,586 --> 00:18:51,631 Can you reverse the polarity? 367 00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:53,341 I'll do my best. 368 00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:56,218 Engine room. Warp speed! 369 00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:59,305 Mitchell: Take us out of here now. 370 00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:01,622 I'm giving it all I've got, captain, 371 00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:03,329 but you're expecting a bloody miracle. 372 00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:06,228 Jackson: Hang on, hang on, hang on. What? 373 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,439 Okay, one, that's Star Trek. 374 00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:11,233 And two, it's ridiculous. 375 00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:12,234 What's wrong with it? 376 00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:15,112 The singularity is about to explode? 377 00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:15,946 Yes. 378 00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:17,591 Everything about that statement is wrong. 379 00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:21,243 How exactly is having weapons at maximum going to help the situation? 380 00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:24,246 The audience isn't going to know the difference. 381 00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:27,375 They love weapons at maximum. 382 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,251 Never underestimate your audience. 383 00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:31,383 They're generally sensitive, intelligent people 384 00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:34,256 who respond positively to quality entertainment. 385 00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:37,176 Teal'c: I do not understand why everything in this script 386 00:19:37,468 --> 00:19:38,468 must inevitably explode. 387 00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:40,262 Martin: Look, you guys may all know 388 00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:43,015 how things really work out there in the galaxy, 389 00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:44,934 but I know the film business. 390 00:19:45,226 --> 00:19:48,396 Explosions make great trailers. 391 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:49,897 Simple fact. 392 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,274 More explosions, better trailer. 393 00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:55,277 Better trailer, more viewers. 394 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:04,245 Yeah, go for Marty. Oh, hey, Nora. 395 00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:07,915 What? That's ridiculous. 396 00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,292 Tell them to stop panicking. 397 00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:12,628 We're going to sign him. Don't worry. 398 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,755 I already put in a call to his manager. 399 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:19,135 We'll get back to you. Yeah.Bye. 400 00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,304 So, trouble with Nora? 401 00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:23,848 Martin: No. Nora, she's great. 402 00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:26,308 But since Nick marlowe is holding out, 403 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,854 one of the new junior executives at the network 404 00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:33,482 has suggested we re—cast the whole movie with younger, 405 00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:35,735 edgier versions of the team. 406 00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:37,737 Can you imagine that? 407 00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:50,499 Yo, dawg, what did you do that for? 408 00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:53,043 Dude, that hot chick was so totally a Goa'uld! 409 00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:55,087 Duh, I was still gonnatapthat 410 00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:57,214 you don't appreciate me, do you? 411 00:20:57,506 --> 00:21:00,426 I think you're so totally awesome. 412 00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:05,139 That's what I'm talking about. 413 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:08,600 Yo, wonderbread, 414 00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:10,936 you got that address figured out yet? 415 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:15,775 Chill, t. I'm, like, translating as fast as I can. 416 00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:19,737 I'm so sick of being treated like some sort of object to be worshiped. 417 00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:21,469 I'm a real person with real feelings. 418 00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:27,077 You know, I don't think Mitchell likes me anymore. 419 00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:29,079 I'm pregnant. 420 00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:32,249 Uh—huh. No. 421 00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:33,793 Nope 422 00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:38,422 I need a latte. 423 00:21:39,256 --> 00:21:41,550 How about this one? We were in a cloaked cargo ship 424 00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:44,386 on a simple, three—hour reconnaissance mission... 425 00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:46,013 Gilligan's island, right? 426 00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,974 You got that from "three—hour reconnaissance mission?" 427 00:21:49,266 --> 00:21:49,725 Piece of advice. 428 00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:51,457 If you're going to rip something off, 429 00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:53,979 think of something a little more obscure. 430 00:21:54,271 --> 00:21:55,481 Oh, okay. 431 00:21:56,273 --> 00:21:56,482 Call me fahrbot, 432 00:21:56,774 --> 00:21:59,109 but they're gonna have our mivonks on a platter we don't 433 00:21:59,401 --> 00:22:00,736 starburst the draz out of here. 434 00:22:01,028 --> 00:22:04,073 The cluster's been damaged. We're not going anywhere. 435 00:22:05,950 --> 00:22:08,077 Oh, dren. 436 00:22:08,369 --> 00:22:09,620 Hezmana! 437 00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:12,915 Frell! 438 00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:15,626 Son of a hasmot! 439 00:22:16,293 --> 00:22:17,545 Yotz! 440 00:22:19,588 --> 00:22:20,840 Okay, you got me. 441 00:22:21,131 --> 00:22:22,550 I have no idea what that is. 442 00:22:24,134 --> 00:22:27,346 Oh, for crying out loud, what now? 443 00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:30,975 Oh, give me a break! 444 00:22:32,434 --> 00:22:35,437 I just a got a text message from the studio. 445 00:22:35,729 --> 00:22:37,398 The foreign distributor went bankrupt. 446 00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:39,191 They're slashing my budget. 447 00:22:39,483 --> 00:22:40,483 In a text message? 448 00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:43,112 This totally screws up the end of act three. 449 00:22:43,404 --> 00:22:45,406 What happens at the end of act three? 450 00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:47,449 With these cuts, not much. 451 00:22:47,741 --> 00:22:49,743 Act three just ends. 452 00:22:51,912 --> 00:22:53,330 What's so bad about this? 453 00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:55,457 Any idea when we'll be able to go? 454 00:22:55,749 --> 00:22:56,208 Sorry. 455 00:22:56,500 --> 00:22:59,879 We're trying a full reset of the system, sir. 456 00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:02,464 Hey. 457 00:23:03,841 --> 00:23:05,281 If you want this to be more accurate, 458 00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:07,469 why don't you just give him your mission files? 459 00:23:07,761 --> 00:23:08,470 They're classified. So? 460 00:23:08,762 --> 00:23:10,362 Didn't you say that no one on your planet 461 00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:11,741 would believe this was all real anyway? 462 00:23:11,765 --> 00:23:14,894 Even still, do you know how many mission files there are? 463 00:23:15,185 --> 00:23:17,354 Mitchell: 1,263. 464 00:23:17,646 --> 00:23:19,481 Hopefully 64 by the end of the day. 465 00:23:19,773 --> 00:23:22,526 Actually, it's 1,264 already. 466 00:23:22,818 --> 00:23:24,403 No, it's 63. Pretty sure. 467 00:23:24,695 --> 00:23:25,975 I've read all the files recently. 468 00:23:26,030 --> 00:23:29,700 Actually, you haven't read 30185. 469 00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:34,121 30185? What's that? 470 00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:36,248 We can't tell you. 471 00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:38,000 What do you mean you can't tell me? 472 00:23:38,292 --> 00:23:41,128 I have the highest security clearance known to mankind. 473 00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:43,589 What is 30185? 474 00:23:43,881 --> 00:23:45,883 We were sworn to secrecy. 475 00:23:47,217 --> 00:23:48,510 Well, why even mention it to me 476 00:23:48,802 --> 00:23:51,347 if you're not going to tell me what it is? 477 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:52,139 Sorry. 478 00:23:52,431 --> 00:23:54,516 Can you tell me? Oh, yeah, we can tell you. 479 00:23:54,808 --> 00:23:58,771 It has to do with the time that the gate sent us back to 1969. 480 00:23:59,063 --> 00:24:00,790 Well, that can't have anything to do with me. 481 00:24:00,814 --> 00:24:01,833 I wasn't born till a year later. 482 00:24:01,857 --> 00:24:05,736 Actually, it was nine months before he was born. 483 00:24:06,028 --> 00:24:06,403 What? 484 00:24:06,695 --> 00:24:09,615 You have to remember, it was the '605. 485 00:24:10,699 --> 00:24:11,158 Jackson: Come on, 486 00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:16,372 you have to have known that Jack's always taken an interest in your life. 487 00:24:16,664 --> 00:24:18,499 Jack O'Neill? 488 00:24:19,708 --> 00:24:21,085 Indeed. 489 00:24:21,377 --> 00:24:22,812 Carter: Do you remember when you were chosen 490 00:24:22,836 --> 00:24:23,462 for the 302 program 491 00:24:23,754 --> 00:24:25,594 even though you didn't think you should get in? 492 00:24:25,839 --> 00:24:28,509 How about when you were chosen for sg—1? 493 00:24:28,801 --> 00:24:31,345 Wait, are you saying that Jack O'Neill is... 494 00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:32,012 My daddy? 495 00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:35,015 All starting to make sense now, isn't it? 496 00:24:35,307 --> 00:24:36,433 Hmm. 497 00:24:38,268 --> 00:24:40,396 Oh, I'm being punked, aren't I? 498 00:24:40,688 --> 00:24:44,358 We honestly can't tell you about 30185. 499 00:24:45,275 --> 00:24:46,355 Martin: I can't believe it! 500 00:24:46,443 --> 00:24:48,988 The whole cast heard marlowe is holding out for more money, 501 00:24:49,279 --> 00:24:51,490 and now they're all joining in. 502 00:24:51,782 --> 00:24:54,201 Where do they think it comes from? 503 00:24:55,452 --> 00:24:58,080 How am I supposed to do a movie without any actors? 504 00:24:58,372 --> 00:25:00,332 Mitchell: Carter, correct me if I'm wrong on this, 505 00:25:00,416 --> 00:25:02,710 but is it not a fact of parallel dimension physics 506 00:25:03,002 --> 00:25:05,504 that each of us exists somewhere in some universe 507 00:25:05,796 --> 00:25:07,636 in whatever way, shape, or form we can imagine? 508 00:25:07,881 --> 00:25:09,466 Any way, shape, or form we can imagine. 509 00:25:09,758 --> 00:25:11,593 We've seen it for ourselves. 510 00:25:11,885 --> 00:25:13,303 There you go. 511 00:25:13,971 --> 00:25:15,681 Use your imagination. 512 00:25:25,774 --> 00:25:26,774 All right, people. 513 00:25:26,900 --> 00:25:29,903 We created this multi—billion dollar facility 514 00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:31,195 under Cheyenne mountain 515 00:25:31,405 --> 00:25:34,033 so that we can use this thing. 516 00:25:35,409 --> 00:25:36,952 Anyone know how? 517 00:25:40,289 --> 00:25:43,917 Uh, sir, we thought you knew. 518 00:25:44,793 --> 00:25:45,794 I do know this, 519 00:25:46,086 --> 00:25:48,005 we need to put together a team, 520 00:25:48,297 --> 00:25:50,007 starting with the most beautiful, 521 00:25:50,299 --> 00:25:54,094 battle—ready scientific genius I know, 522 00:25:54,386 --> 00:25:56,180 captain doctor Samantha Carter. 523 00:25:56,472 --> 00:25:57,931 Reporting for duty, sir. 524 00:25:58,223 --> 00:26:00,476 What can you tell us, captain? 525 00:26:02,061 --> 00:26:04,229 Well, at first glance, I suspect the device creates 526 00:26:04,521 --> 00:26:06,361 a stable wormhole between superconducting rings 527 00:26:06,523 --> 00:26:09,163 that have been placed in fixed positions elsewhere in the galaxy... 528 00:26:09,276 --> 00:26:10,920 Converts matter into energy at the event horizon, 529 00:26:10,944 --> 00:26:12,824 once the initial vortex has subsided, of course. 530 00:26:12,988 --> 00:26:14,868 And just because my sex organs are on the inside 531 00:26:14,948 --> 00:26:17,229 instead of the outside doesn't mean that I can't handle... 532 00:26:17,493 --> 00:26:19,495 Provided, of course, that sufficient energy 533 00:26:19,787 --> 00:26:20,245 has been channeled to the device 534 00:26:20,537 --> 00:26:23,749 and that the correct coordinates have been calculated. 535 00:26:24,958 --> 00:26:27,127 Okay, get to it. 536 00:26:27,711 --> 00:26:29,671 Next, we need a bookworm adventurer 537 00:26:29,963 --> 00:26:31,673 who can say "brains" and "guts" 538 00:26:31,965 --> 00:26:33,342 in 27 languages. 539 00:26:33,634 --> 00:26:34,634 Dr. Daniel Jackson. 540 00:26:34,676 --> 00:26:37,763 Why have I been brought here? This is not... 541 00:26:39,848 --> 00:26:40,891 Ooh, what is that? 542 00:26:41,183 --> 00:26:42,243 The reason you're here, doctor. 543 00:26:42,267 --> 00:26:48,190 This big ring was discovered in the sands of Egypt, near giza. 544 00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:50,776 Then I was right. 545 00:26:51,068 --> 00:26:52,569 The pyramids really were landing sites 546 00:26:52,861 --> 00:26:53,362 for interplanetary starships 547 00:26:53,654 --> 00:26:57,574 that enslaved primitive human populations by posing as their gods. 548 00:26:57,866 --> 00:27:01,328 Well, we found the ring in the sand. 549 00:27:01,745 --> 00:27:03,622 These symbols, they look familiar. 550 00:27:03,914 --> 00:27:07,793 They're like constellations. Don't you see? Here. 551 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:13,465 If each symbol represents a specific point in space, 552 00:27:13,757 --> 00:27:16,844 then six of them would create a sort of box. 553 00:27:17,136 --> 00:27:19,346 The intersection point between those six points 554 00:27:19,638 --> 00:27:20,657 would indicate a destination. 555 00:27:20,681 --> 00:27:25,853 Maybe, just maybe, the seventh marks the starting point. 556 00:27:26,145 --> 00:27:29,273 Is there a monitor that shows these symbols in detail? 557 00:27:29,565 --> 00:27:31,692 Over here, Dr. Jackson. 558 00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:39,740 Wait. 559 00:27:39,825 --> 00:27:41,660 This one seems different. 560 00:27:41,952 --> 00:27:43,453 You found the ring in Egypt. 561 00:27:43,745 --> 00:27:44,905 The pyramid represents earth. 562 00:27:45,038 --> 00:27:47,082 This symbol has to be the point of origin. 563 00:27:47,374 --> 00:27:50,669 It was under our noses the whole time. 564 00:27:50,961 --> 00:27:52,629 I feel so stupid. 565 00:27:52,921 --> 00:27:54,756 And now what this team needs is a leader, 566 00:27:55,048 --> 00:27:58,343 someone who'll laugh in the face of his enemy, 567 00:27:58,635 --> 00:28:01,597 even when it's inappropriate. 568 00:28:01,889 --> 00:28:03,265 Colonel Jack O'Neill. 569 00:28:03,557 --> 00:28:05,893 I thought I told you I retired. 570 00:28:07,394 --> 00:28:09,855 I thought you said you were tired. 571 00:28:10,939 --> 00:28:14,151 Well, as a matter of fact, I am a little tired. 572 00:28:14,443 --> 00:28:16,445 There's no time for that now. 573 00:28:16,737 --> 00:28:18,780 You have a mission to lead. 574 00:28:19,072 --> 00:28:20,240 Right! 575 00:28:21,992 --> 00:28:24,578 Sergeant? Make it spin. 576 00:28:24,995 --> 00:28:26,413 Spin? 577 00:28:27,164 --> 00:28:28,874 Sir, it doesn't spin. 578 00:28:29,166 --> 00:28:30,166 What? 579 00:28:30,209 --> 00:28:31,877 It has to spin. It's round. 580 00:28:32,169 --> 00:28:35,547 Spinning is so much cooler than not spinning. 581 00:28:35,839 --> 00:28:36,839 I'm the general. 582 00:28:37,090 --> 00:28:39,593 I want it to spin. Now! 583 00:28:39,885 --> 00:28:41,178 Yes, sir. 584 00:28:44,848 --> 00:28:46,892 Hey, look at that. 585 00:28:50,979 --> 00:28:52,814 Harriman: Chevron one is lit up. 586 00:28:53,106 --> 00:28:55,084 I wonder what we're going to find on the other side. 587 00:28:55,108 --> 00:28:56,544 Whatever it is, I'll bet it's amazing. 588 00:28:56,568 --> 00:28:59,404 Well, don't get too excited. It's just a simple recon. 589 00:28:59,696 --> 00:29:01,896 Aren't you the least bit curious about what's out there? 590 00:29:02,115 --> 00:29:05,410 Well, I'm just hoping we find some new meat for the team, 591 00:29:05,702 --> 00:29:08,372 preferably something bald, 592 00:29:08,664 --> 00:29:11,458 mysterious, you know, the warrior type, 593 00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:14,253 with lots of, you know, muscles. 594 00:29:14,544 --> 00:29:16,296 Sir, the odds against any alien life forms 595 00:29:16,588 --> 00:29:20,842 we encounter looking remotely human are astronomical. 596 00:29:21,134 --> 00:29:22,594 Yeah, well... 597 00:29:23,762 --> 00:29:24,930 We'll see. 598 00:29:27,849 --> 00:29:30,894 Chevron seven, also lit up. 599 00:29:38,735 --> 00:29:39,027 Holy... 600 00:29:39,319 --> 00:29:41,863 Colonel O'Neill, you have a go. 601 00:29:42,155 --> 00:29:43,323 Godspeed. 602 00:29:43,615 --> 00:29:45,575 Easy for him to say. 603 00:29:54,501 --> 00:29:55,752 Okay. 604 00:29:56,044 --> 00:30:00,924 We're all gonna do this together on three, all right? Okay? 605 00:30:01,758 --> 00:30:02,843 Okay. 606 00:30:03,135 --> 00:30:07,055 One, two, three! 607 00:30:15,022 --> 00:30:16,857 Dear god in heaven. 608 00:30:19,192 --> 00:30:21,987 I feel so stupid. 609 00:30:35,083 --> 00:30:37,377 Yeah, that'll work. 610 00:30:37,669 --> 00:30:39,921 A whole movie made with puppets. 611 00:30:40,213 --> 00:30:40,797 Hey, I'm just saying... 612 00:30:41,089 --> 00:30:42,191 Martin: Maybe we can have puppet O'Neill 613 00:30:42,215 --> 00:30:47,012 jump over a puppet shark on a one—third scale motorcycle. 614 00:30:48,138 --> 00:30:49,138 I don't get it. 615 00:30:49,181 --> 00:30:51,683 Look, you don't know he business like I do. 616 00:30:51,975 --> 00:30:53,018 I don't have any money, 617 00:30:53,310 --> 00:30:57,981 so I have to give the actors something else. 618 00:30:58,273 --> 00:30:59,273 Bigger trailers? 619 00:30:59,358 --> 00:30:59,941 I can't afford that either. 620 00:31:00,233 --> 00:31:03,945 No, I have to give them something that costs me nothing 621 00:31:04,237 --> 00:31:06,531 but no actor can tgfusg. 622 00:31:06,823 --> 00:31:07,532 And what's that? 623 00:31:07,824 --> 00:31:09,076 A good ego—stroking. 624 00:31:09,368 --> 00:31:13,246 I have to make them think hat I re—wrote the script just for them. 625 00:31:13,538 --> 00:31:15,098 In this draft, there has to be something 626 00:31:15,165 --> 00:31:17,459 that makes them want to do this movie 627 00:31:17,751 --> 00:31:18,877 even if it's for scale. 628 00:31:19,169 --> 00:31:22,089 You know, we've been trying here. 629 00:31:22,631 --> 00:31:23,006 You're not listening. 630 00:31:23,298 --> 00:31:27,761 I'm talking about a twist, something nobody's expecting. 631 00:31:28,053 --> 00:31:30,847 O'Neill: You mean something like this? 632 00:31:38,063 --> 00:31:40,982 Wow, I don't think anyone will see that coming. 633 00:31:41,274 --> 00:31:42,434 No, but there'll be spoilers. 634 00:31:42,526 --> 00:31:45,946 Are you kidding? It'll be in the commercial. 635 00:31:48,115 --> 00:31:50,035 Announcer on TV: When it comes to fighting crime, 636 00:31:50,075 --> 00:31:52,953 there's only one man keeping the streets safe, 637 00:31:53,245 --> 00:31:54,830 while keeping it real. 638 00:31:59,543 --> 00:32:00,001 Indeed. 639 00:32:00,293 --> 00:32:03,964 Teal'c, p I. Coming this fall. 640 00:32:05,006 --> 00:32:06,425 I love it. 641 00:32:07,968 --> 00:32:10,011 I'm just not sure if the network... 642 00:32:10,303 --> 00:32:12,514 But I'll pitch it to them next week 643 00:32:12,806 --> 00:32:15,058 and we'll see what they think. 644 00:32:16,476 --> 00:32:21,106 Oh, I have to get that. We'll talk later. 645 00:32:21,565 --> 00:32:22,190 You got Marty. 646 00:32:22,482 --> 00:32:24,943 So what brings you this way, sir? 647 00:32:25,235 --> 00:32:29,239 What, a guy can't just stop by from Malibu to say hi? 648 00:32:29,531 --> 00:32:31,575 Malibu? Sure. 649 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:33,535 I was there on business. 650 00:32:33,827 --> 00:32:35,829 Exactly, sir. You're an air force general 651 00:32:36,121 --> 00:32:38,331 with enormous responsibilities. 652 00:32:38,623 --> 00:32:40,417 Ostensibly, I just stopped by to see 653 00:32:40,709 --> 00:32:42,919 how you were doing with Marty. 654 00:32:45,589 --> 00:32:48,091 Well, truth be known that 655 00:32:48,383 --> 00:32:51,595 lately I've been feeling a little... 656 00:32:52,471 --> 00:32:55,223 What? How do I say it? 657 00:32:55,807 --> 00:32:58,101 It's okay to say that you missed us, sir. 658 00:32:58,393 --> 00:32:59,060 No, not that. 659 00:32:59,352 --> 00:33:01,646 Like you have unfinished business? 660 00:33:01,938 --> 00:33:03,064 Okay. 661 00:33:03,356 --> 00:33:06,276 You need closure, and I have the perfect thing. 662 00:33:06,568 --> 00:33:08,778 We were about to go on a mission to commemorate 663 00:33:09,070 --> 00:33:10,947 my 200th trip through the gate. 664 00:33:11,239 --> 00:33:13,366 Really? 200, you say? 665 00:33:13,658 --> 00:33:17,370 That's 200 times he's stepped through the gate, sir, 666 00:33:17,662 --> 00:33:18,955 not actual missions. 667 00:33:19,247 --> 00:33:22,083 To be honest, I wouldn't mind one iastjaunt 668 00:33:22,375 --> 00:33:24,169 through the old orifice. 669 00:33:29,257 --> 00:33:30,592 What? 670 00:33:31,259 --> 00:33:34,179 We call it that sometimes, don't we? 671 00:33:35,180 --> 00:33:36,515 Orifice? 672 00:33:36,806 --> 00:33:38,934 Stupid focus groups. 673 00:33:39,226 --> 00:33:40,226 They hate the ending. 674 00:33:40,393 --> 00:33:42,270 I have to think of something new. 675 00:33:42,562 --> 00:33:44,189 They could go fishing. 676 00:33:44,481 --> 00:33:44,981 Fishing? 677 00:33:45,273 --> 00:33:46,525 Yeah, it'd be e perfect ending. 678 00:33:46,816 --> 00:33:52,113 I mean, after that, anything else would seem pointless. 679 00:33:53,615 --> 00:33:55,283 Carter: This is great. 680 00:33:55,951 --> 00:33:57,410 I told you. 681 00:34:02,123 --> 00:34:04,960 Yup, it's good to be here. 682 00:34:05,669 --> 00:34:07,587 You weren't there. 683 00:34:08,213 --> 00:34:11,591 So, what's the twist? No fish? 684 00:34:11,883 --> 00:34:18,139 No, I need something with more impact, something more... 685 00:34:18,682 --> 00:34:20,100 Moving. 686 00:34:21,518 --> 00:34:23,853 Everyone loves a wedding. 687 00:34:35,574 --> 00:34:39,411 It's just a summer cold, sir. 688 00:34:41,329 --> 00:34:42,747 A bit of a wait. 689 00:34:43,039 --> 00:34:44,249 Indeed. 690 00:34:48,670 --> 00:34:49,879 You know, if she doesn't show, 691 00:34:50,171 --> 00:34:53,216 people are gonna think that you and I are... 692 00:34:54,801 --> 00:34:56,052 What? 693 00:35:13,403 --> 00:35:14,738 Nice entrance. 694 00:35:15,030 --> 00:35:16,281 Sorry, sir. 695 00:35:16,656 --> 00:35:18,241 Carter. 696 00:35:18,992 --> 00:35:20,577 Jack. 697 00:35:21,369 --> 00:35:22,829 Thank you. 698 00:35:23,121 --> 00:35:25,248 Kvasir: Shall we begin? 699 00:35:28,418 --> 00:35:33,214 Yeah, right, if! Want to torture the audience on purpose. 700 00:35:33,506 --> 00:35:37,052 The gate is back up and running. General. 701 00:35:37,344 --> 00:35:38,344 General. 702 00:35:38,511 --> 00:35:40,305 With permission? 703 00:35:46,186 --> 00:35:49,314 But I still don't have my ending. 704 00:36:00,784 --> 00:36:04,329 You keep these kids out of trouble, Jack. 705 00:36:05,413 --> 00:36:07,165 Here's an idea, Hank. 706 00:36:07,457 --> 00:36:09,542 Why don't you come along with us? 707 00:36:09,834 --> 00:36:10,460 No, it's all right. 708 00:36:10,752 --> 00:36:12,045 No, seriously. I don't know. 709 00:36:12,379 --> 00:36:12,587 Yeah, come on. 710 00:36:12,879 --> 00:36:17,300 It'll be kind of like a special occasion deal. 711 00:36:18,968 --> 00:36:20,408 Well, what the hell. Yeah, that's it. 712 00:36:20,553 --> 00:36:24,349 Hey, Walter! Come on, we're all going. 713 00:36:24,641 --> 00:36:26,267 I don't have the right outfit. 714 00:36:26,559 --> 00:36:28,353 You look fine! 715 00:36:43,785 --> 00:36:45,704 Everything ready? 716 00:36:46,454 --> 00:36:48,998 Sgs 3 through 18 are waiting, sir. 717 00:36:49,290 --> 00:36:50,290 The cake? 718 00:36:50,375 --> 00:36:51,459 It's all set. 719 00:36:51,751 --> 00:36:53,461 Balloons, streamers, the works. 720 00:36:53,753 --> 00:36:58,383 All right, let's go check out the mysteries of p2c—106. 721 00:37:01,928 --> 00:37:03,012 Hey, Marty. 722 00:37:03,304 --> 00:37:04,384 Why don't you come with us? 723 00:37:04,639 --> 00:37:10,520 Maybe find a little inspiration for the end of your little movie. 724 00:37:10,812 --> 00:37:11,312 Martin: I can't. 725 00:37:11,604 --> 00:37:15,525 I just heard from the studio. The movie's been canceled. 726 00:37:16,317 --> 00:37:18,361 Oh, there's some heartbreak. 727 00:37:18,653 --> 00:37:19,904 Oh, that's too bad. 728 00:37:20,196 --> 00:37:20,905 Not for me. 729 00:37:21,197 --> 00:37:24,284 They decided to renew the series instead! 730 00:37:27,871 --> 00:37:29,038 Okay. 731 00:37:29,831 --> 00:37:31,458 Let's move out. 732 00:37:46,514 --> 00:37:48,016 Director: And, cut! 733 00:37:51,644 --> 00:37:53,855 Good job, Doug. Here, here, here. 734 00:37:54,147 --> 00:37:55,356 Ocean. Thanks 735 00:37:55,648 --> 00:37:56,648 well, that wasn't so bad. 736 00:37:56,775 --> 00:37:58,043 Director: And that's a cut, everybody. 737 00:37:58,067 --> 00:38:01,362 That is a wrap on the 200th episode! 738 00:38:03,198 --> 00:38:05,158 Nice job, everybody. 739 00:38:06,493 --> 00:38:11,039 So, did you ever think a show like this would go on for 200? 740 00:38:11,331 --> 00:38:12,331 Well, sure. 741 00:38:12,540 --> 00:38:14,876 What do you mean, "a show like this"? 742 00:38:17,754 --> 00:38:20,715 Martin lond.Yeah. 743 00:38:22,008 --> 00:38:23,718 Are you kidding? 744 00:38:24,594 --> 00:38:27,472 Hey, everybody. Guess what? 745 00:38:27,764 --> 00:38:29,390 The movie's back on! 746 00:38:34,604 --> 00:38:37,524 Wow. Ten seasons, seven saturn awards 747 00:38:37,816 --> 00:38:43,655 for best cable or syndication science fiction show. 748 00:38:44,656 --> 00:38:46,032 Who would have guessed? 749 00:38:46,324 --> 00:38:49,035 Um, I think, first and foremost, it has to do, 750 00:38:49,327 --> 00:38:50,411 you know, with the writing. 751 00:38:50,703 --> 00:38:55,416 I mean, obviously we don't take ourselves too seriously. 752 00:38:55,708 --> 00:38:59,838 Oh, the writers are really great guys, all of them. 753 00:39:00,296 --> 00:39:01,714 Men, you know. 754 00:39:02,006 --> 00:39:03,424 Yeah, it's a bit of a boys' club. 755 00:39:03,716 --> 00:39:08,221 The real challenge was coming up with a good catch phrase. 756 00:39:09,514 --> 00:39:12,517 "It's what I do." 757 00:39:13,059 --> 00:39:16,062 "It's what I do." 758 00:39:16,980 --> 00:39:21,734 That was so, you know, good. 759 00:39:22,026 --> 00:39:23,486 It defined colonel danning. 760 00:39:23,778 --> 00:39:27,198 I just don't think they know what they want to do with my character. 761 00:39:27,490 --> 00:39:32,787 I probably should have taken up golf a long time ago. 762 00:39:33,246 --> 00:39:35,331 Just... just kidding. 763 00:39:35,623 --> 00:39:38,459 And I needed something even better to make 764 00:39:38,751 --> 00:39:42,589 you forget about the guy that fans loved to watch 765 00:39:42,881 --> 00:39:45,466 for the first seven years of the show. 766 00:39:45,758 --> 00:39:47,176 I know he was here for eight, 767 00:39:47,468 --> 00:39:48,788 but, you know, a lot of people say 768 00:39:48,928 --> 00:39:52,473 hejust kind of phoned it in that last season. 769 00:39:52,765 --> 00:39:54,642 Yea h, well, that's ancient history. 770 00:39:54,934 --> 00:39:56,769 We don't talk about that around here. 771 00:39:57,061 --> 00:39:57,478 The fact of the matter is, 772 00:39:57,770 --> 00:39:59,530 I don't really even know what happened there. 773 00:39:59,731 --> 00:40:02,442 You know, to me, it never felt like I was leaving the show. 774 00:40:02,734 --> 00:40:04,545 I just needed a little space, a little time, you know? 775 00:40:04,569 --> 00:40:06,422 I wanted to get back to my roots. Theater, right? 776 00:40:06,446 --> 00:40:10,241 So I go to New York, do a little Broadway, off—off—broadway. 777 00:40:10,533 --> 00:40:10,950 Either way, it doesn't matter. 778 00:40:11,242 --> 00:40:13,995 Acting, you know? Acting without having people hurling 779 00:40:14,287 --> 00:40:16,372 papier—mache boulders at you all Day. 780 00:40:16,664 --> 00:40:17,165 It was great, you know? 781 00:40:17,457 --> 00:40:19,577 I like them both. I like boulders. I'm fine with that. 782 00:40:19,792 --> 00:40:22,629 This production runs like a well—oiled machine, 783 00:40:22,921 --> 00:40:26,507 and, sure, that starts from the top, but, I mean, 784 00:40:26,799 --> 00:40:28,509 we all love the show. 785 00:40:28,801 --> 00:40:33,723 The gaffers, the lighting guy, the medic, 786 00:40:34,015 --> 00:40:36,726 the makeup and the caterers. 787 00:40:37,018 --> 00:40:37,560 It's like a family. 788 00:40:37,852 --> 00:40:41,314 The writers were trying to come up with a catch phrase. 789 00:40:41,606 --> 00:40:46,611 "I can get behind that," was something we tried for a while. 790 00:40:46,903 --> 00:40:52,367 Anyway, I mean, I'd actually like to do some writing. 791 00:40:52,659 --> 00:40:53,659 Maybe have a baby. 792 00:40:54,869 --> 00:40:56,621 It just hit me. 793 00:40:58,206 --> 00:40:59,206 Sweet... 794 00:41:03,670 --> 00:41:06,547 And we can get away with that, too, because it's cable. 795 00:41:06,839 --> 00:41:10,218 You can't get there without the fans, right? I have to thank them. 796 00:41:10,510 --> 00:41:13,137 I've got to thank specifically the ones... 797 00:41:13,429 --> 00:41:14,973 Oh, god, what's it called? 798 00:41:15,264 --> 00:41:16,349 Savedrlevant.com. 799 00:41:16,641 --> 00:41:18,077 Have you seen the site? I mean, it's insane. 800 00:41:18,101 --> 00:41:20,979 Apparently they get dozens of hits a month, whatever. 801 00:41:21,270 --> 00:41:21,688 I think that's a lot. 802 00:41:21,980 --> 00:41:24,565 But between them and the ad in variety 803 00:41:24,857 --> 00:41:26,177 that they put out, I'm pretty sure 804 00:41:26,234 --> 00:41:27,754 that went a long way towards convincing 805 00:41:28,027 --> 00:41:29,445 the producers to take me back. 806 00:41:29,737 --> 00:41:30,905 Have me... to invite me back. 807 00:41:31,197 --> 00:41:32,573 It wasn't their decision, you know. 808 00:41:32,865 --> 00:41:34,465 They called, said, "hey, do you want it?" 809 00:41:34,701 --> 00:41:35,243 You know, and I was ready. 810 00:41:35,535 --> 00:41:39,664 What I think really makes this show what it is, 811 00:41:39,956 --> 00:41:44,919 is the chemistry with the cast. 812 00:41:46,295 --> 00:41:47,964 Yeah. Oh, could you hold on? 813 00:41:48,256 --> 00:41:49,590 Stop the tape. 814 00:41:49,882 --> 00:41:51,092 Who does he think he is? 815 00:41:51,384 --> 00:41:56,305 Well, you tell that ungrateful little Bag to shove it up his 816 00:41:56,597 --> 00:42:01,686 Yeah, yeah, let him try to get a job that pays this much. 817 00:42:03,938 --> 00:42:07,066 You weren't rolling, were... Okay. 818 00:42:07,358 --> 00:42:10,361 Um, what... what was I saying? 819 00:42:10,653 --> 00:42:13,698 Oh, yes, the cast. 820 00:42:14,949 --> 00:42:16,075 Holy... 821 00:42:22,582 --> 00:42:24,250 That would be, like, a 19. 822 00:42:24,542 --> 00:42:26,627 That's it? You're good? All right. 823 00:42:26,919 --> 00:42:29,630 Can I get my Sandwich, please? 824 00:42:29,922 --> 00:42:31,632 All right. Hey, thanks, man. 825 00:42:31,924 --> 00:42:34,177 Science fiction is an existential metaphor 826 00:42:34,469 --> 00:42:38,514 that allows us to tell stories about the human condition. 827 00:42:38,806 --> 00:42:39,806 Isaac Asimov once said, 828 00:42:39,932 --> 00:42:41,493 "individual science fiction stories may seem 829 00:42:41,517 --> 00:42:46,314 "as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today, 830 00:42:46,606 --> 00:42:48,066 "but the core of science fiction, 831 00:42:48,357 --> 00:42:49,637 "its essence, has become crucial 832 00:42:49,734 --> 00:42:53,654 "to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all."