I'm in.
Intel looks good.
We got ourselves a space train full of evil Orville redenbacher.
Carter on radio: Roger that.
(Scanner buzzing)
They're scanning us.
Mitchell: Let's make this quick.
I'm done.
As am I.
Crap.
(Yells)
Cam, everyone else is on board. Time to get out of there.
Mitchell: Yeah, I'd love to, but I've got a bit of company.
(Guns firing)
I will render assistance.
Negative. There's not enough time.
He's right.
Cam, if you can get to the platform,
we can ring you out from here.
Screw it.
Now! Now! Now!
Thankfl we got him. Let's go!
(Beeping)
Netan.
Another transport has been hit near rolland.
We've lost four containers' worth of kassa,
plus the al'kesh escorting them.
Sg—I.
It's the third transport they've hit.
Our supply of kassa is getting dangerously low.
This isn't about kassa.
This is about them trying to make me look weak.
I can't allow them to interfere
with our operations any longer.
Put the word out.
As of this moment, I'm placing a bounty on their heads.
Another mission successfully completed.
Yeah, it was.
Goodness knows we've all earned a nice break from routine...
The answer's no.
You don't know what I'm gonna ask you.
Oh, yes, I do. All righty, then.
I have a better idea of what you're facing
than you might think, I've done research.
Oh, god.
Traditionally, these events entail the bringing together
of large groups of people, all with a common bond in the past,
but nothing really in common in the present.
Everybody evaluates each other's lot in life,
generally by virtue of a combination of material worth
and the attractiveness of one's date, spouse,
life partner.
Let me go as your date. No! No!
Please? It'll be fun. I promise. No! No!
It is a high school reunion, not some swank party.
Besides, you will be bored out of your mind.
Don't you dare talk to me about boredom.
Everybody else here has a life.
Sam, off at a conference.
Daniel, in a museum somewhere doing research.
Teal'c, offworld...
With the Jaffa. With the Jaffa, yes.
Me? I have absolutely nothing to do.
Vala.
It is in Kansas.
Don't make me beg you.
Doesn't it bother you to come to these... oh, thank you.
Come to these conferences to present new technology
and actually adding flaws, and we're pretending
we know less than we really do?
Well, you know the drill. We have to act like there's a process of development.
Oh, sure, easy for you. You're presenting chimera
as practically a fully functioning asgard hologram system.
I get stuck with a plasma Cannon
that supposedly shorts out at the drop of a hat.
(Ch uckles)
On the positive side, these events have a dynamite singles scene.
It's a huge window of opportunity.
I think I'll mingle. You should, too.
Ladies! Good evening.
I was just saying I can't believe that you're here.
Do you think that you could...
Vala: I can't wait to meet your parents.
Mitchell: Yea h, just don't embarrass me.
I would never embarrass you.
Vala: Incredible.
Mitchell: Better than thejunk they peddle at the cafeteria, huh?
You'd think she'd never eaten pie before.
I had no idea it could taste like this.
I forgot to tell you, cam. Darrell called.
Something about you helping set up tomorrow.
I left the number on the counter.
Oh, I'd better give him a call. I'll be right back.
So, vala. Mmm—hmm?
Cam says you work in payroll on the base.
Yes. I'm very good with money.
That's an important skill.
Somebody's got to take care of the bills.
Yes, and Cameron's so terrible with finances, so.
Well, then, I take it that you two are quite...
Serious?
Oh. Absolutely.
Well, I mean, at first, it was just sex, sex, sex,
in all rooms of the house at all times of the day,
but, well, once we got a chance to get to know each other,
we formed a deeper connection.
A spiritual bond, you might say.
Well, I suppose it's nice he found someone.
(Spoon tinkling)
What?
More pie?
Doing some research?
Yes.
Hi.
I'm looking for any aramaic translations
of pre—judeo—pagan hymns,
hopefully in lithograph form. Am I in the right section?
You don't work here, do you?
It's okay. Maybe if we looked together.
No, it's okay. I'll ask at the inquiry desk.
They probably have it locked up
in their rare—items archive.
Hmm.
Thank you.
Activate the scanners.
(Computer beeping)
I'm only picking up three signals.
One of them must be offworld.
We'll find that one later.
We're under attack!
The shield's at zero.
Initiating hyperdrive!
Sorry, boys. I don't like competition.
Here are some extra towels.
The spare bedroom's all made up.
All right, great. Where do you want me to sleep?
Well, I thought that you two would...
You know.
(Chuckles) No. No, mom, that's okay.
It's all right, dear.
I'm not as old—fashioned as you think.
What? You know, I think
cam sometimes finds it convenient
to forget that I grew up in the '60s.
I could tell you some stories.
Oh, mom! No! Mother, please, no.
We don't want to hear your stories.
I do. No!
We'll talk later.
Okay.
I like your mother.
I'll be on the couch.
Your loss.
Cha'ra: I can only hope you'll reconsider
and accept the seat the council's offering you.
You have been speaking to bra'tac.
He only asked that I voice the opinion of any clear—minded Jaffa.
The reformation of our government
cannot occur without the help...
Down!
(Weapons firing)
Are you injured?
No.
You are.
The men guarding the gate report no activity.
It is possible whoever attacked us left by cloaked cargo ship.
Or perhaps they are still here,
waiting for the opportunity to finish the job.
Put out word that I indeed survived the attack,
but that I am gravely injured.
So Mr. Armstrong, he walks into the classroom,
and he sees his car,
(laughing)
The whole car,
just sitting in the middle of the room.
It's got a fresh coat of wax. It's looking all brand new.
We all thought he was gonna drop dead from heart failure right there on the floor.
And then what happened?
Well, that's it.
I mean, we had to take the car back out
and put it together again, but...
Oh, but if I understand you correctly,
you had to completely disassemble
and then re—assemble this automobile not once, but twice.
Yeah, I guess. Yeah.
(Laughing)
You know what, it does remind me
ofan incident from my own youth.
A trader came through my village with a crate...
(Screams) Hey, you know, you hear one high—school story,
you've heard them all. Cam, 5:00, 5:00.
Oh, lord. What?
That is...
Yeah, I know who it is.
She's coming over here.
Why are you whispering like that?
What's going on? Shh.
Cameron Mitchell, right?
Oh, my goodness. Sorry.
Amy... vandenberg. Yes.
Yes, the name definitely rings a bell.
I just saw you over here and I thought I'd say hi.
Been a long time.
Yeah, it has.
Oh, you remember Darrell, right?
Hey, homeroom, right!
How are you doing? Good!
Goodtoseeyou. Good.
And vala mal doran. I'm Cameron's date.
Right. Of course. I should have realized.
Well, it was really nice seeing you, meeting you again.
Okay, I'm going to go help now.
I'll see you tonight.
Yeah, I'll be here.
Darrell?
She looked back. And she looks good.
Well, well, well.
Someone likes you.
Mitchell: No.
She's just nice.
And she's probably on the welcoming committee or something.
Mmm—hmm.
(Clears throat)
Darrell? Yes?
What do people do around here for fun?
For fun?
Hello again.
Hello.
I've been watching you.
You really enjoy this kind of work, don't you?
You've been watching me?
Well, I guess it's kind of hard not to. You're very attractive.
What's... what's going on?
I was thinking we could get out of here.
Go somewhere.
Together. Alone.
Wow.
You know, I'm not really the most impulsive person.
Flattering as your offer is, I'm going to have to say no.
Have it your way.
(Beam surging)
Stop, or I start killing people.
Good.
You should have taken my first offer, Dr. Jackson.
It would have been a far less...
(Tires screeching)
She was human, but not from earth.
Weapons were based on Goa'uld design.
We need to figure out how she got here.
Well, my guess would be a cloaked cargo ship.
So we've got an invisible hunk of alien technology
sitting out on a field somewhere.
Well, cloaked ships aren't entirely undetectable, sir.
They do give off anomalous energy readings.
If it's stationary, and we know approximately where to look,
we might be able to find it.
I've already sent a team to assist Dr. Jackson with his investigation.
Well, if you need my help, sir, I can certainly come back.
Negative, colonel. We can handle it.
I just wanted to make sure you were all right.
Besides, I have a feeling you'll be of more value where you are.
Landry out.
Dr. Lee: Dreams of science fiction into scientific reality.
This one, in particular, has remained elusive.
Until now.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the future.
(Electronic humming)
(Exclaims)
Sorry. Sorry. I... I can fix this.
Just... just give me a moment here.
Say that again, sir? Landry: It's not that urgent.
I just wanted to fill you in, colonel.
(Reception breaking) I just can't hear anything you're saying.
(Static crackling)
Sorry, sir. His cell's barely coming through.
(Gun shot)
Hang on a second.
Darrell, you got a cell phone that works?
No, no one does.
Two cell repeaters went down after last month's twister.
The phone company hasn't put new ones up yet.
Damn! Great.
Everything's good here, sir.
However, if there's cause for concern, we can come back right away.
Not necessary, son.
Sounds like you two are having a hell of a time.
Oh, yeah, me and Daisy, we're living large.
And no signal.
(Darrel whoops)
Vala: Tell me about this girl back at the school.
Who, Amy?
Yeah.
Oh, cam always had a thing for her.
Really? Guy could've had any girl
he wanted in the whole school,
but every time she'd walk by, he'd start stammering like an idiot.
Vala: No. Yes.
Did they ever... no.
Never had the courage to ask her out.
She ended up marrying some corporate dude and moving to Texas.
Damn!
What department did you say you work in again?
Accounts receivable.
A nine—year veteran of the air force's deep space telemetry program,
as well as senior consultant for applied technologies
and a two—time winner of the prestigious binder prize
for advancements in theoretical physics.
Please welcome to the stage lieutenant colonel Samantha Carter.
(Audience applauding)
Thank you.
As most of you will recall, three years ago
I went on network television in order to dispel the erroneous charge
that the air force was covering up
the existence of alien life in our galaxy.
Today, I'll be following up on that same technology
I introduced then by showing you several new features
which dramatically enhance its effectiveness.
I am, of course, speaking of the chimera optics projection system.
As you'll soon see, further research and development
has provided longer range, better verisimilitude
and more control over image projection since chimera's introduction
as a prototype three years ago.
(Audience clamoring)
What the hell was that?
Someonejust took a shot at me.
There. Holy crap.
We need to get the x—699 working now.
Try bypassing the main power coupling.
You might get one shot off before it short—circuits.
(Power charging)
(Audience chattering)
Nice demo.
He's Jaffa.
I do not believe so.
('805 music playing)
Man: Do you have any journey?
Awesome!
Cameron? Hey, welcome back.
Jackie. Hey!
And "vayla"?
Vala. Vala.
Now, I can't remember, did you go to g.W.?
Oh, I didn't attend school
as much as I was sold as a domestic servant
to a weapons smuggler named fierenze.
After I killed him and won my freedom,
I considered my education more or less complete.
Well, it was sure nice to meet you.
Maybe we should keep chat like that to a minimum.
Smile.
Oh, god! Oh, god! Please, don't hurt me.
Please, don't hurt me!
So you got, like, you can buy.
You got your basic four, of course, house, fire, boat, car.
Wait, let me get this straight.
If he buys one of your policies
and names me as his beneficiary,
I would collect all of the money
in the event of his untimely death.
You got it.
Tell me more.
Well, let me tell you, vala...
Ventrell: Hello there.
Can I help you?
As a matter of fact, you can.
Your suit looks like it's about my size.
So?
Nice suit.
Wow.
Look at you.
Don't quite know where to put this.
Oh, that. Oh.
That's 'cause you don't need that.
So where's your date?
Date?
Oh, vala. Vala.
Vala is over there plotting my death with Gary walesco.
(Ch uckles)
She seems nice. You two make a good couple.
Oh, no, we don't. She...
Well, she's just a friend.
So, where is your other half?
In Maui with his girlfriend, most likely.
Ted and I got divorced about a year and a half ago.
I moved back to Topeka last year.
I'm sorry to hear that. Oh, don't be. I'm not.
You look exactly the same.
I'm surprised you even remember what I looked like back then.
Are you kidding?
No.
You know I had a major—league crush on you, right?
No!
Yes! Yes.
I had your entire schedule memorized
so I'd be in the right place when I got out of class.
And that sounds creepy now that I say it out loud.
How come you never said anything?
I was 16.
I was 16, and you were always hooked up with some other guy,
and let's be honest about it, you were way, way out of my league.
God. I can't believe I just told you that.
Okay, now it's my turn.
I saw every football game you ever played in.
I can name every class we shared together.
I even broke up with Bobby haversham
hoping that you would ask me out to the senior prom.
But you never did.
I guess you could say I haven't quite forgiven you for that yet.
(Cell phone ringing)
I think your phone is ringing.
Yeah. It is. Sorry.
Mitchell. Hello? This is general Landry.
Hello?
(Static crackling) Mitchell?
Oh, I'm sorry. I have to take this.
I'll be right back.
You... you, do not move from this spot.
Yes, sir.
Phil! Man, I haven't seen you since the last one of these shindigs!
You look great!
Been working out, huh?
So, how's Nancy?
I'm sorry, sir. Say that again.
Carter and Teal'c what?
Were attacked.
Your life may be in danger.
We need you to get back here as soon as possible.
Sir, this is impossible. I'm going to try to find a hard line.
Yeah, I'll put it on myself. Thank you, sweetie. Okay.
Hey, Gary. How are you doing, buddy?
Well, if it isn't the prettiest girl at the party.
Hi.
Have you seen Mitchell? I can't find him anywhere.
"Mitchell"? Wow, you two are on a last—name basis, huh?
I think I saw him talking to Amy vandenberg.
Oh, the one from...
Yeah, yeah. I think they slunk off together.
Perfect. Yeah.
Would you like a little refreshment?
Moonshine.
It's flammable.
This is lieutenant colonel Mitchell for general Landry. Thank you.
Just the man I've been looking for.
We didn't go to school together, did we?
Name's ventrell.
I'm here to collect the price on your head.
A big, bad bounty hunter after little old me? I'm honored.
Actually, you're just the bait.
This is general Landry. Mitchell?
Mitchell, can you read me? Mitchell?
(Switch beeping)
(In Mitchell's voice) This is Mitchell. Requesting assistance.
Repeat requesting assistance.
My voice is way deeper than that.
(In normal voice) Funny. See, I'm after the big prize.
All of sg—I?
Who do you think they'll send after they hear that?
Why don't you just take me?
Teal'c's not even on the planet.
Oh, they'll be here.
In the meantime, all you have to do
is keep quiet, and no one gets hurt.
Now, shall we get back to the party?
Yeah. Let's dance.
Unfortunately, the odysseyis not available for transport,
but we've got a couple of 3025 waiting.
They should get you there pretty quick.
Do we know how the assassins have been able to target us so precisely?
I think so.
During our last mission, we were hit by what we thought was a scanning beam.
Turns out it was a little more sophisticated than that.
We were tagged.
We're all emitting low levels of a particularly exotic form of radiation.
That's what they're tracking.
Now, the good news is it has a limited half—life,
so it should wear off in a couple of days.
I think it's pretty clear colonel Mitchell doesn't have a couple ofdays.
Jackson: We'll get him, sir.
Whoa!
You know what?
I think Mitchell is crazy for ditching you.
I mean, come on! God, look at you.
You're a beautiful woman,
you have a keen mind,
and you shoot like a special forces sniper.
True. All true.
But you can be a little scary, though.
I mean, to the kind of guy that would be intimidated
by a woman who is successful
and brilliant like you are.
Hmm.
But you know what? What?
I'm not one of those guys.
Darrell?
Mmm—hmm?
I have something I think I'm supposed to tell you now.
What?
I'm married.
You're kidding.
(Exclaims)
It's something I don't like to talk about much.
He's a religious zealot,
bent on total domination of every human being in this galaxy.
So, you're separated?
There you are.
I thought you'd deserted me.
Hey.
You okay?
I'm fine.
Who's your friend?
Odai ventrell, at your service.
Hello.
I'm a friend of the colonel's.
You still owe me a dance.
Don't keep the lady waiting, colonel.
You won't get another chance.
(Romantic music playing)
You sure your date won't mind us spending time together like this?
She's the independent type.
Maybe too much so.
You know what I like?
Now that we're older, and hopefully wiser,
we can say how we really feel.
There's none of that awful tension
that used to hang in the air when we were young.
Yeah, I'm glad that's gone.
(Exclaims)
Oh, I like this. Huh?
Oh, shut up.
That's odai ventrell in there.
Who? No!
Bounty hunter.
He's obviously here looking for me.
Okay, no more liquor for you tonight, all right?
What? Oh, don't be ridiculous. That stuff barely affects me.
Have you got any weapons on you?
No!
Then we'll have to improvise.
Hey, if you don't want to do this...
No, it's not that. It's just...
It's complicated.
You don't have to say anything else. I get the message.
Vala, right?
It's not what you think.
Right now I need you to slap me,
then get out of here.
Dave "the man" Nelson! It's Darrell!
How you doing, man?
You're confusing me with someone else. What?
Darrell, get the hell out of here.
Oh, like I'm going to listen to you, huh?
Making time with another girl,
leaving your date high and dry.
Well, thank god I stepped up, huh, Dave?
Thank god!
(Shouts)
Touch me again and I'll kill you.
Dave, you've changed, dude!
Get back.
(People screaming)
Your attention, please.
Exiting this room is now impossible.
Every door has been magnetically sealed shut.
Vala mal doran. This is my lucky day.
Netan's offering a bonus for anyone who bags you.
Sorry. That didn't go well.
Oh, it's worse than you think.
Thanks to your little stunt, now I start killing people.
You don't have to do this.
First rule of hostage taking, always back up your threats.
So, who's it going to be?
The troublemaker?
Or the girlfriend?
Cameron!
Choose, colonel, or they both die.
Now, ventrell, you always were such a coward.
I guess we'll start with you.
Carter: This is colonel Carter of sg—I.
Once all the hostages have been released, we are willing to beam in.
Negative.
You and sg—I beam in first, unarmed,
and then I'll let everyone go.
(Transporter beaming)
Over there, please.
Colonel Mitchell, vala, would you mind joining the others?
Turn around.
So, what's your endgame, ventrell?
You know we're not just going to let you walk out of here.
Never planned on it.
Hello.
It's okay. You're all safe now.
Yeah, but what happened to vala?
(All exclaiming)
Holy crap.
I knew there was something wrong with that woman.
Vala: How did you do that?
Oh! Allow me.
We located this vessel in a field several miles from here.
We were on board trying to override the command code
when it was remotely activated and flown onto the roof of the school.
That's right. You brought us to you.
Carter: After that, it was a simple matter of activating chimera.
It's an asgard holographic projection system.
It made it look like we'd beamed in.
And you might've gotten away with it, too,
if it wasn't for us meddling kids.
So much for your big payday.
Well, I may not be able to collect,
but it doesn't mean others won't try.
Unless there's a bigger payday waiting somewhere else.
What are you talking about?
Oh, I've had some experience recently
dealing with the Lucian alliance.
I know for a fact that some of netan's seconds
are starting to question his leadership.
After this little fiasco, it's only going to get worse.
Indeed.
With his failure to eliminate us yet again,
he will only appear weaker than before.
Mitchell: No doubt about it.
There's blood in the water.
Only question is, which enterprising shark
will be the first to take advantage of it?
(Explosion)
(Guns firing)
(Gun firing)
Well done.
You saved my life.
You'll be richly rewarded.
I know I will. But not for saving you.
Thank you.
Vala!
You sure you don't want some pie for the road?
I couldn't possibly...
It's your favorite.
Thank you.
Well, the general will probably blame me if we miss our plane,
so we probably should get moving.
Cameron!
We have to get moving.
Go wait in the car!
I exaggerated the spiritual bond thing just a little.
Yeah. Yeah, we got that.
Thank you.
Bye.
Move it!
(Sighs)
To be honest with you, cam, I don't know what to make of all of this.
Those air force people who made us all sign those papers were pretty scary.
I'm not sure I'm allowed to even think about what happened,
let alone talk about it.
It's better this way.
People who do talk about it just end up looking crazy.
There's never any proof and there is always plausible denial.
So you've done this sort of thing before?
I'm just saying...
I know, you can't talk about it.
You can't even tell me what was really going on the other night.
I do know this much.
That man was trying to kill you and your friends.
Whatever it is you do, it's obviously dangerous.
Itsajob
that has to be done.
And that's all I'm gonna say about that.
Well, if anybody has to be out there protecting us
from things we're not allowed to know about,
I'm glad it's someone like you.
(Horn honking)
You know,
Colorado Springs, it's not that far away, so,
maybe someday soon, you might think about taking a little trip.
Maybe.
She's a nice girl. I like her.
Nice? She's a cure for insomnia.
Well, we can't all make the brilliant decisions you've made.
How many times have you been married, anyway?
Vala: Legally?
Well, it's hard to keep track.
Let's see, the first one was part of a band of traveling entertainers.
He was a good cook, too. Couldn't make pie, though.
You know, forget it. Forget I asked.