(Briggs) Hey, Smith, you played out your last tricks on Decker.
[tires screeching]
[sirens wailing]
Get out of the way or we're going through you.
Fighting fires can be very dangerous.
I need your help.
♪ I'm Fireman Fred ♪♪
Help.
[exclaiming]
Don't be afraid, little brother.
Only you can prevent forest fires.
In order to catch the A-Team, you gotta put yourself in their skin.
You look great in rubber.
Let's see if we can put some heat in this fire.
I'll check your pressure.
Give me this thing.
[grunting]
[horn honking]
Fire in the hole, me mateys.
(male narrator) In 1972, a crack commando unit...
was sent to prison by a military court...
for a crime they didn't commit.
These men promptly escaped...
from a maximum-security stockade...
to the Los Angeles underground.
Today, still wanted by the government...
they survive as soldiers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help...
and if you can find them...
maybe you can hire the A-Team.
[gun firing]
[alarm bells ringing]
[buzzing]
[engine starting]
[siren wailing]
[horn blowing]
[siren wailing]
Here they come, right on schedule.
And look at that, a police escort.
Today is the end.
I want that contract.
There's a fire up the road. Get these vehicles out of the way.
Fire? Where, where's the fire?
I didn't see a fire. Did you guys see a fire anywhere here?
(Palin) No, it must be that old abandoned warehouse...
down by the junction.
Yeah, it's a real tinderbox, I hear.
Gee, that's a terrible shame.
You know, that's probably gonna be burned to the ground before you even get there.
Okay. So it's an abandoned warehouse.
What about tomorrow when it's a house full of kids? You gonna stop us then?
That, my friend, is up to the pretty lady.
Look, Kelsey, you either get out of the way or we're going through you.
Hey, I want to give you a little advice, baby.
Fighting fires can be very, very dangerous.
You might even end up in a hospital.
Whoever heard of a lady fire chief, anyhow?
[Palin laughing]
We're going through them.
Your operation is history.
Mr. Smith?
(Hannibal) I see you followed the instructions...
Mr. Lee gave you, Miss Sanders.
Hannibal Smith, at your service.
I don't believe this. I'm standing here talking to a six foot candle.
[footsteps approaching]
Miss, if you're thinking about hiring the A-Team, I'm afraid you're out of luck.
I'm Colonel Briggs, United States Army, and the men you're looking for...
are federal fugitives wanted by the military.
I don't know what you're talking about.
[clanking]
(Briggs) I know you're in here, Smith.
Hey, Smith...
you played out your last tricks on Lynch and Decker.
[thudding]
I don't believe this is happening.
He's not here, sir.
I thought you said somebody saw Smith come in here, Captain.
Move it out.
Colonel Briggs?
A new face on the block is always a welcome change.
You just found The A-Team, Miss Sanders.
If you'll follow me, I have some friends waiting in the back.
Come on.
Well, we were right.
Decker's been replaced.
Somebody else has got a shot at our golden gooses.
Or golden turkeys. That's nice.
No, you don't.
I've got this gig until noon, and I've got three more heads to finish.
Including yours.
You know, old chap, we're getting a bit cramped here. Rather.
A lack of head room, you know?
What, what, what?
What's the matter, Murdock, you don't like the company?
I hate to interrupt an artist, but the M.P.'s just came out of the next room...
led by Decker's replacement, a Colonel Briggs.
Great!
Just when I start enjoying my work...
they show up and ruin everything.
Captain, check the alley. Thank you, Colonel.
Would someone mind telling me what's going on here?
First, it's the guy in the Chinese laundry...
then it's the fisherman on the pier, and now it's the headless horseman.
I don't think this is exactly what I had in mind.
Well, welcome to the 10:00 matinee.
There are a lot of people out there looking for us, Miss Sanders.
Some of them need our help...
but some of them are the military...
who want to throw us in the slammer and throw away the key.
Now, we can't be too careful.
If you want to talk, fine.
If you don't, I'm sure you can find your way out.
I need your help.
Now, according to Mr. Lee, you're about to lose...
a fire contract with a town called Haleyville...
because of a guy named Kelsey.
Yeah, Roy Kelsey.
He manages Tri-State Fire Prevention.
They contract out their services to a number of smaller towns and cities...
who can't afford to maintain their own fire departments.
Have fire engine, will travel.
Kelsey came to see me about a month ago.
He offered to buy out my contract.
He even offered to pay me more than the contract was worth.
And when you didn't accept his offer, you hit a streak of luck.
All of it bad.
Right.
Already half of my men have been scared off.
And Tri-State has managed to delay our response time on our last three times out.
Why does this guy Kelsey want this fire contract so badly?
I don't know. Then“
You're wondering why I didn't take the money and walk away with the profit.
Exactly.
It cost me a lot to build up a hard-working, professional fire company.
My men and I are willing to lay it on the line every time out.
Now, Tri-State may be bigger and they may have newer equipment...
but I doubt that they're very big in the dedication department.
How did you get into this line of work, Miss Sanders?
You mean, what's a nice girl like me doing running a fire department?
You heard that one before? Yeah.
And usually from men.
You don't think a woman can do the job, do you, Smith?
I didn't say that.
Colonel, we got bogies coming in low and sideways.
Tell B.A. to get that van ready. Come on.
Come on, Van Gogh.
Halt or I'll open fire!
Go!
[tires squealing]
Man, this guy's worse than Decker.
(Hannibal) It's gonna be interesting. Go, B.A.
Hey, wait a minute. What about taking the job?
[tires screeching]
(Casey) Annie, you said these guys are being chased by the military.
I mean, now that the military knows your name there's no way the A-Team's gonna show up.
I suppose you're right.
(Jennings) We can't stand up to this slime Kelsey anymore.
We said we'd hang in here until you contacted the A-Team.
Without their help it's over.
We lost.
Look, I can understand you guys wanting to back out, but...
what happens the next time that alarm...
comes in and there's nobody left to man that truck?
[sighing]
We're talking about people's lives here.
If we roll on another call who's gonna take care of our families...
after Kelsey takes care of us?
No.
Sorry, Annie.
They're right, Annie.
But I won't leave you here alone. Not with Kelsey out there.
Thanks.
It's never a good idea to give in to threats.
I didn't think you were going to show up.
Well, we never turn down an invitation to a party.
Guys like Kelsey are only around because they carry a big stick.
We know how to handle that. Yeah.
But you're only four guys.
That's right.
B.A., do you think you could teach me how to do that?
(B.A.) Man, get off me, man.
I don't believe it.
I thought you said the army was after these guys.
I mean, we don't have any money to pay them. What are they doing here?
Well, let's not question it.
They're here. That's all that matters.
Boy, I don't know, Hannibal.
A fire truck, a ladder, hoses, a pump.
What do we know about putting out fires?
What do we know about fire fighting?
What do we know? We know everything, and we know nothing.
But it does not matter, for behold.
I have a secret weapon that puts out fire...
and it is better than anybody else's secret weapon.
Secret weapon?
Fool ain't got no secret weapon, he just crazy.
B.A.
You know that I do not lie.
And if I say I have a secret weapon...
I have a secret weapon.
[birds chirping]
Well...
let's see if we can put some heat on this fireman Kelsey.
He's on the jazz, man.
Hannibal's on the jazz.
[sighing]
[alarm buzzing]
Go ahead.
(Bellows) Annie, this is Sheriff Bellows.
You got a two-alarmer. 472 Millbrook.
Well, Sheriff, I'm not sure if we can--
We'll be right there.
Come on.
Come on, Face. You look great in rubber.
Oh, my tailor will love this.
[alarm bells ringing]
Move over. I'm driving.
Did you hear that? A two-alarmer.
I said a two-alarmer.
[sirens wailing]
That was Sheriff Bellows.
The two-alarmer on South Millbrook.
He says they're rolling on it.
Now, I thought we shut them down.
Okay, now, if they're rolling that means it's just Sanders, one or two others.
That's all. I'll take care of it.
Do that.
[sirens wailing]
Looks like a welcoming committee.
[tires squealing]
[cocking gun]
That's a nice way to put out a fire, Colonel.
Yeah, isn't it?
[gun firing]
[crashing]
[tires screeching]
You tell your boss, Kelsey, if he's smart he'll take an early retirement.
Let's go, Murdock.
[coughing]
Help!
[exclaiming]
[coughing]
Help him, please. Help him. Get back.
Where's B.A.?
He's up there with the child.
Don't be afraid, little brother, I'm gonna bring you down.
We need some power on this. Got it.
[creaking]
[explosion]
[coughing]
Thank you!
You all right? Yeah.
If those fools had stopped us, the kid would be dead.
(Farnell) You said you'd have the contracts by now.
You make promises to a client like Vince Rogan, you deliver.
Hey, I get paid, I do the job, all right?
Well, then do it.
We're not talking about taking out the L.A. Fire Department.
This is a hick one-engine company run by a woman.
I love it, man.
You sit behind that fat desk sweating and belly-aching.
I'm the one down here getting shot at by these lunatics she hired.
Well, shall I pass that message on to Mr. Rogan?
Shall I tell him you can't handle this little problem?
Hey, watch it, Farnell. Don't threaten me, man.
I'm not afraid of you.
Well, you have no reason to be afraid of me.
We both have very good reason to be afraid of Mr. Rogan if we don't take care of this.
[knock on door]
What is it?
Couple of guys out here say they're from the Fire Commissioner's Department.
(Kelsey) All right, I gotta call you back.
Just get the blueprints, man. Just get the blueprints.
Mr. Kelsey?
State Fire Inspector McKellan.
We're here to inspect the premises for fire violations.
Fire violations?
This is a fire department. I know.
No one likes to talk about it. It's so embarrassing.
But just last week we lost Fire Station 833.
Total loss. Burned to the ground.
Faulty wiring in the fire chief's drip coffee machine.
Insulation here is wearing a little thin, too.
Who's the goofball in the raincoat?
That's Fireman Fred.
We sent out circulars to all the fires stations listing...
Fireman Fred's 12 safety rules.
You do have them posted?
That face should be hanging throughout this station.
What, have I got water on the brain?
You expect me to buy this?
I need to see your state contractor's license and date of birth, please.
For what?
Refusal to cooperate with an officially sanctioned inspection of said premises.
A 10-93.
Wait, wait a minute, man.
I didn't say I wasn't gonna cooperate.
Excuse me.
Hey, what are you doing?
Listen, it's just that things are up to code around here.
We... What's going on here?
Filth. Pure filth.
We were inspected a couple of months ago by some guy named Greenwald.
(Face) Greenwald. Right. Poor fellow.
He came home from work and found his wife had gone off to Mexico.
With the gardener.
When they found him, he'd eaten his inspection reports.
He's never been quite the same.
I don't suppose, my good man, that you ever heard of instantaneous combustion.
That's not to be confused with internal combustion, but he's broken my rule number nine.
Number nine?
Never leave newspapers lying about.
Oh, we were meaning to throw those out, actually.
Meaning to? Meaning to?
Do you know that there are a thousand tragic cases...
of meaning to in the naked city?
Why don't you just step outside... (Murdock) Newspapers!
Until we've conducted our little inspection?
Newspapers. I hate newspapers.
I'll see what I can do to get him to keep it off the inspection report.
And I'll check your pressure.
Fine.
Murdock.
Stock market's up.
Yeah. Well, tell your broker.
These guys are weird.
All right, why don't you go in there and see if these clowns have finished up yet.
(Palin) Are you...
Your pressure's a little low.
And remember, only you can prevent forest fires.
♪ I'm Fireman Fred, and if you watch ♪
♪ I'm dressed in red, I'm Fireman Fred ♪♪
B.A., I think Face and Murdock have been asleep a couple of hours.
Why don't you hit it? We're all on 24-hour watch.
Gotta finish my work, man.
[grunting]
[metallic clanking]
This guy Briggs bothers me.
Yeah?
Go ahead, B.A.
[sighing]
B.A.?
Is he married?
Who knows?
What's the matter, Colonel, don't you sleep?
I'll get to it.
I didn't get a chance to tell you...
but you really know how to work a fire hose.
For a woman?
Now, you wave that flag any harder, you're gonna break the pole.
You're right. I'm sorry.
I guess I just have a tendency to overreact sometimes.
I think I'm just tired of being perceived as a woman doing a man's job.
Well, I'll tell you something. You're starting to impress me.
Just starting to?
Work on me.
You pushed Kelsey pretty hard back there. He's gonna push back.
We'll be ready.
I can't afford to have you guys get me through every roadblock...
that Kelsey puts up.
What's gonna happen in a week or a month...
when you're no longer on the payroll?
Don't worry.
By that time, Kelsey will just be a bad memory.
The thing about Kelsey is...
to figure out why does he want this fire contract.
I know you're not making that much money out of it.
Could I ask you something, Smith?
Sure.
Why do you do what you do?
Call it survival.
Wanna bet if you weren't wanted you'd still be doing it?
Bet?
What do you wanna put up?
What you got in mind?
Hey, hey, hey. Hey, B.A.
I'm sorry, man, but that cot is taken.
I don't see nobody sleeping there, fool.
No, no, no, no, B.A., you don't want that cot.
You want one of those nice, soft, comfy cots...
down the other end of the room, all right?
I don't want one of them. I want this cot, fool.
[speaking Italian]
Get that thing out of my cot.
Hey, hey, could you fellows put a hold on it?
I'm trying to listen to Rubenstein's performance...
of Brahms' Second Piano Concerto.
I prefer Ashkenazy. Now, see what you did.
Look, you woke up my secret weapon, Little Squirt.
This ain't nothing but a seltzer bottle, fool.
Give me, give me this thing.
[grunting]
[groaning]
Well, if you really want that cot...
I guess it's okay.
[growling]
[screaming]
[alarm bells ringing]
Someone just reported a fire in a field on the outskirts of town.
It's three miles north of the railroad crossing. Let's roll.
You can't go.
Casey, I want you to stay here with her.
What do you mean, I can't go?
This is my job. It's my fire company. It's my job to fight fires.
Yeah, but we're not fighting a fire, we're fighting a war.
[squeaking]
B.A., catch.
♪ I'm Fireman Fred, and if they ask, I'm dressed in red ♪
♪ I'm Fireman Fred ♪♪
Thanks.
Okay, let's go. Murdock, you get the door.
[siren wailing]
[horn blowing]
[siren wailing]
I don't want any screw-ups this time. Now, let's go. Let's get 'em.
All right.
Cute little dustbuster you got here, pal.
What're you planning, to knock off apples from trees?
[birds chirping]
No, not really. I use it to spray lice.
(Kelsey) You given any fire inspections lately, inspector?
Small world, isn't it?
But Face, don't you think this needs a trim?
You're a bunch of real wise guys, aren't you?
You know, I keep wondering...
why you want this small fire contract so badly.
There's no money in it.
Now, if you'd like a nice little business...
there's a T-Eleven store down the street for sale.
Bury these guys, will you? Just bury them.
Face, I think, Kelsey's choir is all here.
Remote controlled detonator.
Guess what? Your station just caught on fire.
I suggest you boys better hurry back before it burns to the ground.
They're bluffing. Got a match?
Henry?
Henry, this is Kelsey. Are you there?
Henry, pick up the mike and talk to me. This is Kelsey.
(Henry) I can't, boss. We got a fire here.
The station's on fire.
Let's get out of here. Let's go, move it.
Go.
[siren wailing]
[laughing]
[horn blowing]
What a shame.
I guess they're right.
Most fires happen in the home.
Ha-ha.
[chuckling]
(Farnell) Okay, Kelsey. I got those blueprints.
No more excuses.
I told Mr. Rogan all ls going according to plan.
[clicking]
B.A., you better take care of that box.
See, Face planted a bug in Kelsey's office, and we taped this conversation...
you just listened to, before the building burned down.
I don't understand.
But it's starting to get a little scary.
What does one of the biggest mobsters in the country...
like Vince Rogan, have to do with Kelsey taking over my contract?
I mean, the guy's sitting in a jail cell 200 miles away from here.
Yeah, but didn't I read in the papers he goes to trial today?
Vince Rogan.
Guy makes a shark look like a box of brownies at a Girl Scout jamboree.
So we get this fleabag named Kelsey who's trying to take over...
a small-town fire department contract...
who takes orders from a lawyer named Farnell, who according to this tape...
works for Rogan.
Makes a lot of sense, huh?
[footsteps approaching]
We heard about the fire out at Kelsey's.
How? It didn't even go out on the wire yet.
He called us.
I thought they'd like to know.
Sure wish we'd been out there to see it.
If you'll have us back, Annie, we're ready to go.
I owe you one.
Make it two.
We gotta go.
(Annie) Where you going?
To see Rogan's lawyer about some blueprints.
Murdock will stay here and watch out for things.
(Annie) Smith...
you're starting to impress me.
Just starting to?
Work on me. Bet on it.
I'm going to be with Mr. Rogan, Alma.
I should be back in a couple of hours.
Yes, Mr. Farnell.
[tires screeching]
Got an order here to deliver...
a Master Deluxe...
B-697.
I beg your pardon?
It's a safe, lady.
Mr. Farnell wanted a new model.
Now, we told him we could put it in Monday.
But, no, he wants to have it before the weekend.
He never mentioned anything to me. There must be some mistake.
Yeah, well I got a work order here, lady...
and I got five other jobs...
backlogged behind me. So you just sign the order...
and we'll put the safe in.
Well, I'm not sure Mr. Farnell wants this.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
Let's bring it in, B.A.
(B.A.) How do I look?
Look good. Come on, yeah.
Cut left. Right.
Yeah.
Come on. Keep coming. Now cut right.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
I'm gonna drop it. Yeah, set it down.
Just a minute. You can't do that.
Mr. Farnell will be back here in two hours.
I'm sure if you come back then he'll be very happy to help you.
Okay, set it down, B.A.
[both grunting]
Okay.
Okay, have it your way.
But you explain to Mr. Farnell why he's got his old...
B-289...
and not his new B-697.
And when your boss calls my boss to scream at him, you tell him why...
he hasn't got his safe.
[panting]
Now, one, two, three.
Wait a minute.
I suppose it's all right. Only Mr. Farnell locked his door...
and I don't have a key.
Uh-huh.
Okay, you got it, B.A.? (B.A.) Yeah.
Okay.
[grunting]
[crashing]
[chuckling]
It ain't locked no more.
[grunting]
[panting]
Where's the safe? It's behind there.
Have it in in a minute.
It ain't gonna fit.
It figures.
He ordered the wrong size.
We'll have to go back to the warehouse and get the right size.
Won't be long.
Just make sure you clean up afterwards.
Mr. Farnell hates a dirty office.
Face said he'd need about an hour.
Let's get back to the station and...
see if anything's happened with Kelsey.
[police siren wailing in the distance]
Annie.
Annie?
(Briggs) She's right here, Smith.
(Ross) Bring in the car and block the van.
I don't believe it, sir, but as usual, you're right.
In order to catch The A-Team, Captain, you gotta put yourself in their skin.
Lost you back there, Smith.
I thought it was gonna take me a long time to find you.
I.D.'d the girl.
I knew that you'd know that.
You do insane things, Smith.
That's why I figured you'd come back here and try to help her.
What is with you?
How can you give up 20 years of your life in a military prison...
to come back here?
That would require an understanding of the human condition.
I'm surprised the thought crossed your mind, Briggs.
Let me tell you something, Smith.
All that garbage about Lynch and Decker admiring you and the others...
when they were chasing you, that's stupid.
Yeah, what happened to Decker?
They ship him to Alaska 'cause he didn't catch us?
Get them out of here.
Hannibal, I'm sorry.
They got here before I could do anything.
That's okay.
I was looking forward to the opportunity of introducing myself to the Colonel.
Look, The A-Team came here to help me. Doesn't that count for anything?
Lady, you're harboring criminals wanted by the United States Army.
You're lucky I'm letting you stay here and play fireman. Now...
you gonna tell me where Peck is?
Last time we saw him was in Philadelphia. Or Pittsburgh?
Pittsburgh.
(Briggs) You know, Smith...
ordinarily I'm not a sentimental man...
but the day they slam the big iron door behind you, I'm gonna circle that one...
in my calendar.
(Hannibal) I like the way you put that.
Move 'em out. I want them watched every minute.
Colonel, never underestimate your opponent.
You may wind up with egg on your face.
Well, it isn't egg, but it'll do.
Let's go.
[guns firing]
♪♪[humming]
Your plan, Hannibal, and Briggs almost caught us.
B.A., that's a slight wave in a sea of tranquility.
We pick up Face and what can go wrong?
[clearing throat]
Like you say, it's a small world.
A small world.
Right.
All right.
They've moved everything up.
They're transporting my client to the courthouse at 2:45.
And one of my men is wiring in the charge right now.
He's gonna set it off by remote control 10 seconds after they bring Rogan in.
Well, that's all well and good...
but the Sanders woman and her people...
are gonna answer the call when the alarm sounds.
Well, then we'll just have to make sure that we get there before her. Won't we?
Excuse me, fellows. I hate to bring it up, but could you move me away from this window?
It's a little drafty.
Boy, and I just had it pressed.
Take care of this guy.
He's got a real sense of humor. Let's go, Farnell.
As soon as we call you from the courthouse, you can take care of this guy.
So where are your friends now?
[sirens wailing]
Okay, Mr. Rogan, just do everything we said...
and you'll be on a ship headed out of this country in an hour.
Just do everything you said, huh?
You said you were gonna get that contract.
You said I had nothing to worry about.
We had to improvise.
But everything is under control.
Improvise?
I'm facing a 30-year tag and you're improvising?
What about these guys with the machine guns?
Suppose they show up?
You got a contingency for that, lawyer man?
They're not gonna show up, Mr. Rogan. We have one of them on ice.
We're looking for the others already.
[glass shattering]
[grunting]
Well, I, hate to be a clock-watcher, Hannibal, but aren't you guys a little late?
A little late, like, I could have been killed?
Well, we had a little delay. Briggs.
Briggs? Yeah.
Let's roll. We'll call Annie when we get out of town.
(Face) Afraid not.
Kelsey's been hired to break Rogan out of the courthouse.
They're gonna set fire to the electrical wiring system.
And when Kelsey answers the call, Rogan walks out dressed as a fireman.
So that's why Kelsey wanted this fire contract all along.
Right. And when Annie hears the alarm, she's gonna respond.
Well, she's gonna run into a meat grinder if we don't get there on time. Let's go.
What do you want? The time of day? Get that thing out of my face.
(female reporter) Mr. Rogan, any comments-- Right this way, Mr. Rogan.
[reporters chattering]
(reporter #1) Have you ever been convicted of a felony?
[exploding]
I want men posted here just in case The A-Team is stupid enough to return.
They won't come back, sir. They're probably across the state line by now.
[alarm beeping]
(man) There's a fire in the Haleyville courthouse.
What do we do, Colonel? I don't want people killed.
Can you and your people respond?
Well, The A-Team took our only fire truck.
No, they wouldn't.
[sirens wailing]
(Farnell) You don't have much time. Hurry.
Come on, get the coat on him.
Come on, Taylor, get him out of here. Come on, move.
Looks like Rogan checked out of his hotel.
Fire in the hole, me mateys.
Get 'em, Squirt, get 'em.
[grunting]
[groaning]
[siren wailing]
Briggs.
Go, B.A.
That's Roy Kelsey. That's the man who tried to put me out of business.
And that's the guy who he was working for, Vince Rogan.
[sighing]
Get 'em out of here and call the Sheriff's Office.
(Ross) Yes, sir.
See, Colonel? I told you they'd come back a second time.
With Kelsey, Farnell and Rogan in the slammer...
you don't have to worry about your fire contract anymore.
Well, it wasn't my fire contract I was worried about.
It was you.
I kind of got used to having you around.
I got used to being around.
Well, what do you know, Smith. We have something in common.
I'm sorry to interrupt, Colonel, but I just picked up Briggs on the radio scanner...
and he's headed this way.
Get B.A. and Murdock. Right.
Go on, you better--
Now, B.A., we're friends, don't you know?
You, me, Captain Fred, Little Squirt, we go back a long way.
Remember the time that I was wounded and you took care of me?
I don't remember that.
But I do remember you squirting water in my face, and you gotta pay.
Meet Big Squirt, fool.
[chuckling]
[snickering]