We're going somewhere nice and quiet without any distraction.
You're all under arrest! Give yourselves up!
l should've known better than to let that fool plan our vacation.
lf they twitch, shoot to kill.
l'm gonna show these guys what a weekend in the country is really like.
l mean, we're messing around with the A-Team here.
(male narrator) In 1972, a crack commando unit...
was sent to prison by a military court...
for a crime they didn't commit.
These men promptly escaped...
from a maximum-security stockade...
to the Los Angeles underground.
Today, still wanted by the government...
they survive as soldiers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help...
and if you can find them...
maybe you can hire the A-Team.
[gun firing]
[[[One Way Or Another playing on radio]
Thank God. Someone does drive this road.
l think my battery's dead.
[exclaims]
l've been stuck out here close to an hour.
Really?
And you've had your radio on all this time?
Yeah, l was going bonkers out here.
[key clacking]
Yeah, your battery's completely gone. lt'll have to be recharged.
How do we do that?
We don't. You'll have to get your car to a service station.
Look, l could go call a tow truck for you.
Then l'm gonna have to stand here all alone again.
l think maybe you could stay with me.
Well, l'd love to, but you see l'm supposed to meet some friends of mine....
Well, do they live near here? Maybe l could use their phone.
No, actually, they don't live here, you see. They....
Well, if you want l could give you a lift.
We're bound to pass a service station or something.
You sure don't mind leaving your car?
Oh, no, l don't mind at all, if you don't mind.
l don't mind.
[sighs]
[song continues playing]
[sighs]
Excuse me, l didn't mean to interrupt there...
but do you have a tow truck or anything like that?
Closest thing we've got to a tow truck is...
my cousin Billy Bob's pick-up.
l got a winch on her. lt's for...
unsticking us from the mud...
Right.
...but you're not stuck in the mud.
No, no. Actually see....
'Cause we haven't had no rain here for four months.
Right.
The lady's battery's dead, see, and we need some help. But....
Yeah, well, where's her....
Her car? Car.
Well, it's about four miles down the road.
[sighing] See, the engine won't turn over anything and....
Sounds like you need a....
[sighs]
A tow truck. A tow truck. Yeah.
Boy, l can see why you have your own business.
You bet. Yeah.
Look, do you have a phone or anything like that?
l mean, maybe you could find a tow truck for us.
How about your cousin Billy Bob now?
Oh, you know Billy Bob?
Oh, no, no. See, l just....
Well, then, you don't know Billy Bob, don't go saying...
what he'll do and what he won't do.
All right. Because l know....
Billy Bob. Better.
Right. Yeah.
Look, do you have a place where l could wash up?
Oh, sure. lt's right around the....
Tires? No, the corner.
Oh, the corner.
On your... On the right?
No, no. Left?
Yeah.
Right.
Thank you.
l'll get the hood for you. No, thanks, that....
Now l know why they created self-service.
[sighing]
[door opening]
Echo One to Base. Echo One to Base.
Target is online.
Base to Echo One. That's a roger. Let's go, Captain.
[engine starting]
Base to Echo Two, move out now.
[sirens wailing]
[grunts]
Oh, l'm sorry, l was gonna pay on the way out.
Oh, Hannibal, what are you....
You know, you got to stop moonlighting like this.
You're carrying one job too many.
Yeah, and you take one bite of the apple too many.
You're gonna wind up in the house of many doors.
She's not. Oh, yeah?
Well, l passed her on the way in...
ready with her ''my car is broken'' routine.
The minute l got a good look at her, l knew l had to intercept you...
before they closed the trap. Now Decker's gotta be sitting on her doorstep.
[car tires screeching] But, Hannibal, did you see those legs?
[car doors closing]
He's in the washroom.
Well done, Kelly. Okay, men, spread out.
Take them as they comes out.
(Hannibal) Oh, no, that's horrible, Colonel...
trying to catch us with our pants down.
Well, well.
Looks like this is it, Smith.
lt always looks like that way, doesn't it?
But you know what l'd do if l were you, Colonel? What?
l'd requisition some new tires.
[tires screeching]
Hey, man, let me drive. B.A., we....
Will you relax?
No, man, l want to drive my van.
Look, you know it's dangerous to fool around in a moving vehicle.
Now strap yourself in. Put on your seatbelt.
Flight attendants, please take your positions for take-off.
Now, speaking of take off, l think we should make some swift vacation plans.
Before they send another girl after us with long legs, huh?
No, it could happen to anyone.
Yes, Face, but it always happens to you.
We're going somewhere nice and quiet without any distractions.
Yeah, as long as we ain't flying.
l don't want to fly. l'm tired of getting knocked out.
Come on, B.A., l mean, we've got the military up our tail pipes.
Couldn't you just this once-- No, man, flying is out, man.
Anywhere you want to go we can stay on the ground.
Well, we can go to a movie. Beyond that, l....
l got the place if you got the time.
(B.A.) l ain't flying, Murdock.
l ain't talking about flying. We'll drive there.
Really, it's a lovely little place. A cabin up by Crystal Lake.
Near Centerpoint?
Yeah. A hospital takes us there on field trips all the time. lt's great.
Murdock, that sounds good.
Especially seeing this is out of season...
and there'd be nothing but trees and trees and trees.
All the limbs you want, Face.
And not a girl in sight to get us in trouble.
[man coughing]
[grunting]
(female dispatcher) Come in Unit H-7. This is dispatch. Over.
[chuckling]
Where's the money?
l said where is it?
Okay, okay.
What the hell happened? They cancelled the run.
What do you mean, they cancelled the run?
What about the union payroll? There is no payroll.
The union went on strike. Strike?
This morning, it was all over the news.
So no one gets paid.
That's just terrific.
They're on strike, huh? l don't understand.
You mean we did all this work for nothing?
No money anywhere? No.
The dudes are on strike. They're striking for higher pay...
and we get stuck with an empty truck here.
Strike?
Yes, strike. Say it again, idiot. Strike!
Don't call me that! Strike!
Stay away from me.
Now he called me an idiot!
(Gavin) All right, cool it! Cool it. Cool it.
Look at this mess. Look who we got here.
We blew an armored car, man. That's like a federal offence, you know.
We got to show for it, zip
[siren blaring]
Siren. All right, let's get out of here before it's a perfect day.
So long, gang.
They saw us, didn't they?
[siren blaring]
[grunts]
[guns firing] Whoa, baby, this is definitely not our day.
[birds chirping]
Yeah, we've got more food than we could eat in a week.
And l'm telling you, B.A. is a fantastic cook.
l really appreciate that...
but Dad and l were planning on having dinner together tonight.
Well, bring him along. l'd love to meet your dad.
l'm telling you, B.A., he's got this special recipe. lt was his mom's.
She used to make it for us all the time.
lt's called black and red fish.
Oh, yeah, it'll buckle your badge.
Okay, l'm sure Dad would enjoy it.
Terrific. You sure you have enough?
Are you kidding? We've got enough fish to start a cannery.
(B.A.) We ain't got nothing.
lf you wanna see your lady friend and her father with a fish dinner...
then you better take them to a restaurant.
Wait a minute. There must be something in this kitchen...
you could rustle up for dinner.
l mean, look, there's a whole lake out there just teeming with fish.
All l know this cupboard is empty as Murdock's head.
l should've known better than to let that fool plan our vacation.
Hannibal, we're gonna starve to death.
Well, you got to give him credit, B.A.
He found this place to get away and you didn't have to get on an airplane.
So l get to starve to death and slowly go crazy with that fool.
Look at him out there.
Two dummies.
[[[Murdock whistling]
Want an apple?
l understand. You're saving your appetite.
lt's in here if you want it.
[continues whistling]
(Face) l don't know, B.A. l mean, he may have something here.
You know how when you guys go fishing and one guy catches everything...
and the other guy comes home with nothing but a can of worms.
Yeah, well, see, why not bring along the guy who can't catch anything.
See, shift the odds.
Yeah, l think there's something to this theory of his here.
So do l.
You've been spending so much time with that fool...
you're getting to think like him.
l appreciate Murdock's theories...
even if they're outside ordinary logic and reason.
You appreciate reason. l'm gonna get me something to eat.
Can't argue with that theory, either.
l'll stick here with Murdock.
Yeah, maybe l could catch something.
l hope inviting this girl and her dad over isn't a mistake.
Relax, Hannibal. Look we're out here in the middle of nowhere.
But there are park rangers, and that means they are police officers.
Look, would you give me a little credit, Hannibal? l mean...
We're 50 miles from civilization.
This girl, she doesn't know anything...
but squirrels and trees and lakes and hopefully, the birds and the bees.
Relax. Trust me. lt's safe.
(Jenny) l knew it. l knew it was The A-Team.
You know, l'm really impressed the way you spotted those guys right off like that.
Well, actually it was the guy that they call Faceman...
that l recognized.
l can see why.
Come on, l think we ought to radio the sheriff at Centerpoint.
Bet you. You know, this is going to be the biggest news...
to hit Centerpoint in 50 years.
(man on radio) Do not, repeat, do not attempt to apprehend suspects...
until military police arrive.
Colonel Decker is en route, ETA 14.:00 hours.
Centerpoint, out.
Get in, get in.
Can you believe that? Wait for the military police.
They are the A-Team.
They are federal criminals. They're trained in combat.
Oh, come on, Dad. They're just a bunch of guys.
They hardly look dangerous...
or look like they gonna give anybody any trouble.
Except that guy B.A.
[birds chirping]
Hey, what the....
(Roy) Wait a minute.
Look what we got here.
Things are starting to look up already.
You better leave her alone.
What's going on here?
l just found me something sweet.
We're here for transportation. They got anything besides that jeep outside?
We was just getting to the questions and answers, chief.
What do you got here? What do you got for wheels? Come on.
l don't think you know who you're fooling with. We're rangers.
Look, l didn't ask for your credentials, mister.
l just want to know about a vehicle.
Now what do you got that's covered?
Why don't you all put those weapons down before this thing goes too far.
[laughs]
(Candy) Before things go too far? l love it.
Don't you just love it?
Don't you just love this funny old man and what he's saying?
l think you'd better tell us where we can get some wheels.
[gun clicking]
l don't even want to count to three.
Look, just a jeep, that's it. One.
Well, that's it. l swear! Two.
l'm not lying! Look...
l can get you something. Too late.
[gasping] (Gavin) Wait, wait.
What's the matter with you? Now come on.
l thought you said you only had a jeep. There's a van.
lt belongs to a couple of campers up in cabin 1 2.
lt's unmarked. lt doesn't have any windows in the rear or on the sides.
Sounds perfect to me.
But they're just here for some fishing and relaxation.
Please don't hurt them.
Maxwell.
We're gonna stay here with Pops. You take the girl and get the van.
Don't leave any witnesses.
Don't worry. Those guys'll never know what hit them.
[birds chirping]
l don't know, Murdock. l'm not much for this sort of thing.
Look, you don't have to be any good.
l mean, all you've got to do is have somebody less good along with you.
That's the whole theory behind fishing.
Look, all l want you to do is l want you to go out there...
l want you to start pulling them up and l'm gonna go dig us up some fresh bait.
Remember the tune l told you. Yeah.
[[[whistling]
[[[both whistling]
Boy, oh, boy, l don't know about this.
All right.
Any luck?
[chuckles]
Well, l'm sure your luck will turn.
Yeah, l've been coming to these parts for about 9 or 10 years now...
and l'm gonna tell you this is kind of fun.
[water sloshing]
Hey, l think you got something.
There, you got a bite, got a bite. Reel it in.
[stuttering]
Do you mind if l....
You got something here. Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
[grunting]
Oh, my God.
[grunts]
[mumbling]
Look at that. Will you look at the size of that thing?
Unbelievable.
You tell anyone about this, l'll deny everything.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, this is gonna do just fine.
Just fine. Come on.
Hi, glad to see you.
Not so glad to see you.
Give me the keys to your van.
ls this official business?
Give me the keys. Right. The keys. Yeah.
Here you go.
[Jenny screams]
(Jenny) No. No!
[grunting]
[yells]
[birds chirping]
Sorry, Bob, we never filed with the ranger to catch any lead.
Only bass and fresh water fish.
Might make a good lead sinker, though.
Faceman, you're lucky you was wearing that bullet proof vest, man.
Yeah. Lucky, huh? ls that what you call it now, lucky?
This morning you said it was stupid...
when l suggested that this'll make a good fishing vest.
Now you're saying it's lucky.
Does bass-catcher Bob look lucky?
(Hannibal) lt proved your theory, Murdock.
Face was lucky at Bob's expense.
l'm really sorry about this. l just didn't know what else to do.
l figured since you were the A-Team--
You know who we are?
She recognized you from your picture on the wanted poster.
She looks at pictures along with the trees and lakes and squirrels.
(Jenny) l didn't know what else to do.
And who knows what's happened to my dad right now.
They're probably still beating the bushes looking for you.
We got to get her dad away from them and then bottle them up.
How're we gonna do that, Hannibal?
We only have two rifles, and the rest of our weapons is in the van.
Well, you guys got to shut down the access road.
lt's the only way in or out of this area.
Once we do that, we'll have them right where we want them.
And where's that?
Right here, with us.
We might be able to use the gasoline from the outboards...
to make pipe bombs.
l'll get Jenny's dad and meet you at the access road.
Murdock, can l borrow this?
Be my guest. Be Bob's guest.
l knew we should've wasted them the minute we got here.
We should have just done them in, bing bang boom!
l'm gonna take care of that right now.
Now you're gonna do exactly what l tell you to do, Candy.
What about that girl? She's out there.
So what? We cut the only phone lines around.
Even if she finds a cabin with a telephone in it, she can't do squat.
Now come on, relax.
[man sighing]
There it is.
[laughs]
l almost lost my best lure.
Do you believe that?
[grunting]
Thank you very much.
[sighing] l stopped to get my fishing license...
l almost lost my purple tail, white-striped, white-eyed diver. Can you believe that?
You don't say much, do you?
Don't l know you?
[grunting]
Who is this guy? l know you.
l know all you guys.
Well, isn't this turning into a nice party.
(Hannibal) l saw you guys in the newspaper.
Who's with you?
Nobody.
Put this guy in the back with the old man.
l know you. You know, you don't think....
[door closing]
Look, mister, you may not know this, but we are in terrible trouble here.
l know all about it.
Your daughter is safe. You saw Jenny?
Yeah.
Take off your shirt.
l want you to put this on.
Okay, let's saddle up.
What about Smokey the bear in there and Namu?
You do the honor.
[door opening]
[door closing]
[gun firing]
l never want to go through anything like that again.
l was so scared these things wouldn't work.
We double-checked them this afternoon.
Listen, what about Jenny?
She's fine.
Now you stay here. l don't think those gorillas are going to come back.
But just in case, lock this place up and stay out of sight.
What are you gonna do?
Well, l'm gonna join my friends, we're decorating the road.
No sign of them yet. Are you sure this is gonna work?
Well, it depends on how strong that tree is.
Here they come!
Everyone down!
(Hannibal) Got a little problem, huh?
Forget the weapons, or l'll blow you guys into fertilizer.
What are you talking about?
That van is booby trapped.
Now you got 30 seconds to back off...
and clear away from here.
He's full of it.
You better blow us up, mister, 'cause you're dead meat.
Well, that suits me. But talkie there with the tattoos...
knows where the stuff is. He saw me plant it earlier.
Yeah, l wouldn't touch it, pal.
All right, what do you want and who are you?
My name's Hannibal Smith of the A-Team...
and l've got a license from the forest rangers...
to shoot, stuff and mount anything l want, that is...
if there's anything left.
Now you got 10 seconds.
He's bluffing, no?
Five seconds.
Not if he's with the A-Team.
Three.
Let's get out of here, come on!
Two.
One.
Hey, Hannibal, not my van, man! No, don't. Hey, man!
Nice, huh.
Road flares.
Yeah, l got it from the jeep in front of the ranger station.
And here's the remote control for your television in your cabin.
(Hannibal) Now we got them bottled up.
They'll probably just go far enough...
to hole up and try and figure another way out of this area.
Look, l don't know what to say.
You saved my life and my dad's and l....
lnstead of sending flowers, just send a charitable contribution...
to the Society of Wrongly Accused Escaped Prisoners.
lt's just that l called the military police...
and reported you were here.
Oh.
What'd you go and do something like that for?
l'm sorry. l feel awful.
Oh, well, you should feel awful.
(Hannibal) Face, you and Murdock...
grab a couple of those walkie-talkies and track these guys.
Call me when they hole up.
B.A. and l'll fix a special delivery message for them.
Didn't you understand what l just said?
The military police are on their way. They're gonna be here any time!
Yeah, but they got to come up this road...
and that tree will slow them down a while.
l'm gonna show these guys what a weekend in the country is really like.
What about saving yourselves?
We are beyond saving.
No, we can't let those guys run around loose up there.
Those military people you called can run right into those armed killers...
and without a radio, we can't warn them.
Okay, guys, keep going.
We'll let you know when we get a bite.
(Hannibal on radio) Hello, Face, come on in. How are you guys doing?
We've got them, Colonel.
They're at an empty cabin on the north side of the lake.
And if you are planning one of your classic pincer movements...
let me tell you they've posted a guard...
so sneaking up on them isn't going to be easy.
l don't think we're gonna have to sneak up on them.
We'll pick you guys up and then drop in and pay a visit to them.
(Face) Right.
We'll call you as soon as we pick up the trash.
l know you've heard this a hundred times...
but we'll never be able to repay you.
We were looking for a relaxing weekend.
We'll recommend this place to our friends.
[van engine starting]
They are really something, aren't they?
You know they're the A-Team, right. What are we gonna do?
We're going after them before they come after us.
What, do you think they're after us?
l mean, they're wanted criminals themselves.
Maybe they'll just take off.
[vehicle approaching]
Wrong again, Maxwell, as usual.
We brought your truck back, slimeballs.
Well, let's turn this motley crew over and go for vacation.
l can't wait.
You're all under arrest!
Give yourselves up!
Let's go find a place to set this thing down.
And slam the lid on the A-Team for the last time.
Well, this is it, Smith.
l mean, that's what you always say.
l don't think l'll ever have to say it again, Smith.
Open it up, sergeant.
Hi, guys. l hear the fishes are real good around here.
l thought l saw four people jump into this van.
For a minute, l thought maybe Murdock was along with you.
No, you can't have it all, Decker.
Now, aren't you at all concerned there's some real criminals...
who're getting away right this very minute.
There will be no real criminals getting away.
l want these men cuffed and fettered. And l mean this.
Give them no opportunity to escape.
l'm through losing you guys.
lf they do anything, if they even twitch...
shoot to kill.
Now, if you'd been that way last year...
you'd have gotten a lot further a lot quicker.
[chuckles]
You must be Ranger Sherman, the man who helped us capture the A-Team.
(Maxwell) Yes, sir. l sure am.
Glad to meet you. Appreciate the help. You're welcome, sir.
l'm also the man that's gonna take your chopper from you.
What?
[grunting]
They were right.
You mean the A-Team?
The escaped criminals being hunted down in Centerpoint.
They know you're in the area. We won't be for long.
[grunting]
[grunts]
Hey, Einstein, that sound's gonna carry to the rest of their men.
You want a squad of soldiers crawling all over us?
Hey, hey, come on now. He's right.
You know that.
Now we have to get a bigger jump as we can, right?
Let's go.
Why, you fellows wouldn't mind if l had a cigar?
[guns cocking]
l can wait.
[grunts]
[groaning]
lt's all in the wrist.
Where's Decker?
Dad and l found him over near the basin.
He and his lieutenant were banged up pretty bad, but at least they're alive.
They took his chopper. We'll never catch him now.
We could if we had our own chopper.
''lf we had our own chopper.'' Murdock, what would we do without you?
(Jenny) You know, the nearest chopper...
is the firefighter at Centerpoint.
They use it to fight forest fires.
But Gavin's men ruined all the radios and knocked down the phone lines.
Forest fires, huh?
[chanting]
Even if this plan works, l don't wanna go.
Sooner or later, Decker and Crane are going to be up and about.
They're gonna come after you guys.
l don't care. Let them come.
l'm not going in no chopper and that's final.
You know what you do? You butter my biscuits.
Here we are in the middle of a life-threatening situation...
and bass-catcher Bob has given his life...
so that you can have another chance at freedom, and what are you doing?
You're just standing here like some sniveling child saying, ''l'm not going.''
lf you weren't gonna go, why didn't you tell us?
Because we could have taken him and we could have burned you.
What's happening, Murdock?
What do you think? The crybaby ain't going.
No, l don't think so.
Boy, l sure hope that chopper shows up.
[shouting]
Come on, get down here!
Come on, down here!
What happened here? Couple of kids screwing around?
Fred, l need your helicopter. What're you talking about?
What's going on? Fred, this is an emergency!
And as an authority of this park, a federal reserve...
l hereby commandeer this helicopter!
Hey, Jenny, that's my job!
This is my jurisdiction and these are my deputies.
Will you be back?
One way or the other l doubt it.
What do you mean, ''will you be back?'' They got my chopper.
l think we ought to load up that water container first.
Aye, aye, sir.
[snoring]
You know, those guys won't go very far.
Especially since they left Decker alive.
They'll ditch that chopper first chance they get.
Now the best two places for them to put it down are here and here.
l'm glad you agree.
Well, l'd say if l was gonna ditch this thing...
l'd try Red Rock Canyon...
because it's easier to get down to the main road by foot.
There she is!
[gun firing]
[snoring]
[both grunting]
[grunts]
[both groaning]
[helicopter whirring]
Okay, B.A., don't be too upset with him.
l mean, we tried to tell him not to put you in that chopper when they kidnapped you.
(B.A.) Kidnapped me? Yeah.
Well, you see, we were lighting fires and they snuck back...
and clobbered you from behind.
Hell, we told them what you'd do when you came to, but--
They didn't put me in the helicopter. You did.
Yeah, okay. Okay, fine. We did it.
There, do you feel better? You feel better?
We did it. There is nothing you can do about it.
l mean, it was an emergency situation, B.A.
Somebody had to do something and we did it. So there.
lt's okay.
lt is? No.
No, but l like conning you, like you like conning me.
[[[One Way Or Another playing on radio]
[tires screeching]
(Face) Hi, there. You need a lift?