1
00:00:04,194 --> 00:00:07,996
Boy, do I have to urinate.
2
00:00:07,998 --> 00:00:11,566
If only there were a solution
to that.
3
00:00:11,568 --> 00:00:15,437
Seriously. I feel like I've got
a fish tank in my pelvis.
4
00:00:16,272 --> 00:00:18,039
So go to the bathroom.
5
00:00:18,041 --> 00:00:19,307
I can't.
6
00:00:19,309 --> 00:00:21,810
Why not?
7
00:00:21,812 --> 00:00:23,445
Because I'm trying to decide
between getting
8
00:00:23,447 --> 00:00:26,081
an Xbox One or a PS4.
9
00:00:27,150 --> 00:00:30,685
Oh, "pee." Why'd I say that?
10
00:00:31,587 --> 00:00:33,955
Forgive me for asking
a stupid question,
11
00:00:33,957 --> 00:00:36,024
but why are you being stupid?
12
00:00:36,893 --> 00:00:38,593
I'm not being stupid.
13
00:00:38,595 --> 00:00:41,630
I'm employing the work
of Dutch researcher, Mirjam Tuk,
14
00:00:41,632 --> 00:00:45,567
who found that people with full
bladders make better decisions.
15
00:00:45,569 --> 00:00:49,304
Why did I pee before I decided
to move in here?
16
00:00:51,108 --> 00:00:52,307
Hi!
Hey.
17
00:00:52,309 --> 00:00:53,475
Oh, how'd the audition go?
18
00:00:53,477 --> 00:00:55,443
I killed it. I was even able
to cry real tears
19
00:00:55,445 --> 00:00:56,411
right on the spot.
20
00:00:56,413 --> 00:00:57,712
Oh, that's great.
I know.
21
00:00:57,714 --> 00:00:59,748
Next time I get pulled over
for a speeding ticket,
22
00:00:59,750 --> 00:01:00,949
here come the waterworks.
23
00:01:00,951 --> 00:01:03,752
Here come the waterworks!
24
00:01:07,757 --> 00:01:09,257
Aren't you gonna ask?
25
00:01:09,259 --> 00:01:11,526
What is this,
my first day?
26
00:01:11,528 --> 00:01:15,163
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
27
00:01:15,165 --> 00:01:18,500
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
28
00:01:18,502 --> 00:01:20,135
♪ The Earth began to cool
29
00:01:20,137 --> 00:01:22,671
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
30
00:01:22,673 --> 00:01:25,340
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
31
00:01:25,342 --> 00:01:28,009
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
32
00:01:28,011 --> 00:01:29,911
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
33
00:01:29,913 --> 00:01:31,668
♪ Bang! ♪
34
00:01:31,671 --> 00:01:35,671
♪ The Big Bang Theory 7x19 ♪
The Indecision Amalgamation
Original Air Date on April 3, 2014
35
00:01:35,673 --> 00:01:40,673
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
36
00:01:40,699 --> 00:01:42,700
Can I get your
opinion on something
37
00:01:42,702 --> 00:01:44,068
that happened at work today?
38
00:01:44,070 --> 00:01:45,269
Yeah, sure.
Of course.
39
00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:46,704
Okay, well, I did something
40
00:01:46,706 --> 00:01:48,906
that will either make me look
like a lovable goof
41
00:01:48,908 --> 00:01:53,177
or a horrible monster damned
to spend eternity in hell.
42
00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:54,846
I'm sure it's lovable.
43
00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:58,182
I'm gonna go with monster.
What do you got?
44
00:01:58,184 --> 00:02:00,351
Well, there's this lady
in our office who's retiring,
45
00:02:00,353 --> 00:02:01,519
and they were passing around
46
00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:03,521
one of those big cards
for us to sign...
47
00:02:03,523 --> 00:02:04,589
Okay.
48
00:02:04,591 --> 00:02:06,190
But no one told me she was in
49
00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:07,558
a horrible car accident
over the weekend
50
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,126
and what I
was signing
51
00:02:09,128 --> 00:02:10,428
was not a retirement card
52
00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:12,263
but was actually
a "get well" card.
53
00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:16,467
I'm liking my odds here.
54
00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:18,669
So on the card, in the hospital,
55
00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:22,173
next to the woman who's clinging
to life are the words,
56
00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:24,342
"Hey, Vivian. You deserve this""
57
00:02:27,679 --> 00:02:29,814
"And at least with you gone,
58
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:32,149
no one will steal my yogurt
out of the fridge."
59
00:02:32,151 --> 00:02:33,951
No!
60
00:02:35,354 --> 00:02:37,455
"LOL. Smiley face."
61
00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:39,223
Oh, my gosh.
62
00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:41,859
"P.S. Good luck
wherever you wind up."
63
00:02:43,796 --> 00:02:47,398
Why didn't I put money on this?
64
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,433
Hey, that's my agent.
65
00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:51,669
If I got the part,
it's still the second best thing
66
00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:53,738
I've heard all day. Hello?
67
00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:55,306
Am I a terrible person?
68
00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:57,375
No. No, it was a mistake.
69
00:02:57,377 --> 00:02:59,577
Am I a terrible person
that it crossed my mind
70
00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:01,579
that she might die
and never see the card?
71
00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:04,148
Now I think
you're flirting with the line.
72
00:03:04,150 --> 00:03:05,783
Good news?
73
00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:07,451
No, I didn't get it.
74
00:03:07,453 --> 00:03:09,020
I'm so sorry.
75
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,788
You'll get offered
something soon.
76
00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:13,024
I kind of did. The part
in that awful horror movie
77
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,659
I passed on came back around.
78
00:03:14,661 --> 00:03:16,661
Apparently,
it's mine if I want it.
79
00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:18,195
Are you gonna take it?
80
00:03:18,197 --> 00:03:19,530
I don't know what to do.
81
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:22,800
Maybe you'll get hit
by a car and die.
82
00:03:24,469 --> 00:03:26,137
LOL, right?
83
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:30,074
Subtitles downloaded with http://subtitlesapp.com
84
00:03:32,911 --> 00:03:34,245
Hey.
85
00:03:34,247 --> 00:03:36,047
Emily, right?
86
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,081
Yeah...
87
00:03:37,083 --> 00:03:38,649
I-I don't know
if you remember me...
88
00:03:38,651 --> 00:03:40,751
From the dating Web site.
89
00:03:40,753 --> 00:03:43,487
Your friend e-mailed me
because you were afraid to,
90
00:03:43,489 --> 00:03:45,656
then you tracked me down
and acted like a lunatic?
91
00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:47,692
Yes, Rajesh Koothrappali.
92
00:03:49,061 --> 00:03:50,594
Look, uh, I just...
93
00:03:50,596 --> 00:03:53,064
I wanted to say I'm sorry.
94
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,699
Okay? You were, like,
the coolest person
95
00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:57,702
I ever found online,
and I got really nervous
96
00:03:57,704 --> 00:03:59,904
and I-I just blew it.
97
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:02,073
Uh, don't worry about it.
98
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,574
And if it
makes you feel
99
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:05,576
any better,
you're not the weirdest guy
100
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:07,111
I've met off the Internet.
101
00:04:07,113 --> 00:04:10,614
Well, give me a chance--
you don't even know me.
102
00:04:12,251 --> 00:04:13,551
All right,
103
00:04:13,553 --> 00:04:15,753
here's your chance.
104
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:18,155
Wha... Really?
105
00:04:19,057 --> 00:04:20,124
Thank you.
106
00:04:20,126 --> 00:04:21,993
Fate has given me
a rare second chance,
107
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:24,528
and I swear to Vishnu
I'm not gonna blow it.
108
00:04:24,530 --> 00:04:28,099
Or normal words
followed by a charming smile.
109
00:04:32,337 --> 00:04:35,873
So, first there was
PlayStation-- aka PS1--
110
00:04:35,875 --> 00:04:37,641
then PS2, PS3
111
00:04:37,643 --> 00:04:39,810
and now PS4.
And that makes sense.
112
00:04:39,812 --> 00:04:42,680
You'd think after Xbox,
there'd be Xbox 2.
113
00:04:42,682 --> 00:04:46,117
But no, next came Xbox 360.
114
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,585
Hmm? And now,
115
00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:50,654
after 360, comes Xbox One.
116
00:04:50,656 --> 00:04:52,356
Why "One"?
117
00:04:52,358 --> 00:04:54,458
Maybe that's how many seconds
of thought
118
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:56,627
they put into naming it.
119
00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:58,462
Can you get the butter, please?
120
00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:00,998
You know, however,
with the Xbox One,
121
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,801
I can control
my entire entertainment system
122
00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:05,036
using voice commands.
123
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:08,472
Up until now,
I've had to use Leonard.
124
00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:11,142
Then get the other one.
Pass the butter.
125
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,977
Get... Hang on.
126
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,913
I don't feel like you're taking
this dilemma seriously.
127
00:05:15,915 --> 00:05:18,649
Fine, Sheldon.
128
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,651
You have my undivided attention.
129
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:23,754
Okay, now, the PS4 is
130
00:05:23,756 --> 00:05:25,689
more angular and sleek-looking.
131
00:05:25,691 --> 00:05:27,591
No way.
Yeah, well,
132
00:05:27,593 --> 00:05:30,561
it's true. But the larger size
of the Xbox One
133
00:05:30,563 --> 00:05:32,096
may keep it from overheating.
134
00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:34,231
Well, you wouldn't want
your gaming system to overheat.
135
00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:36,500
No, see? Well, you
absolutely would not.
136
00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:38,369
And furthermore,
the Xbox One
137
00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:40,571
now comes with
a Kinect included.
138
00:05:40,573 --> 00:05:42,740
Included?!
Yes!
139
00:05:42,742 --> 00:05:45,109
Not sold separately.
140
00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:46,477
Although...
141
00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:49,180
the PS4 uses cool new GDDR5 RAM,
142
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,915
while the Xbox One
is still using
143
00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:52,883
the conventional DDR3 memory.
144
00:05:52,885 --> 00:05:54,919
Why would they still
be using DDR3?
145
00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:57,288
Are they nuts?!
146
00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:59,490
See? That's what I thought.
147
00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:02,167
But then they go and throw in
an ESRAM buffer.
148
00:06:02,192 --> 00:06:02,727
Whoa, whoa.
149
00:06:02,728 --> 00:06:05,596
Wait a second. Who's "they"?
Xbox.
150
00:06:05,598 --> 00:06:08,365
You're kidding!
No, I am not!
151
00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:10,301
And this ESRAM buffer
should totally bridge
152
00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:12,169
the 100-gigabit-per-second
bandwidth gap
153
00:06:12,171 --> 00:06:13,637
between the two RAM types.
154
00:06:13,639 --> 00:06:16,140
This is a nightmare. How will
you ever make a decision?
155
00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:17,775
You see?
I don't know!
156
00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:19,009
What should I do?
157
00:06:19,011 --> 00:06:20,478
Please pass the butter!
158
00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:33,457
Okay, it's not me, right?
This script is terrible.
159
00:06:33,459 --> 00:06:34,859
Yeah.
160
00:06:35,694 --> 00:06:37,495
I had higher hopes
for a movie called
161
00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:42,199
Serial Ape-ist 2:
Monkey See, Monkey Kill.
162
00:06:42,968 --> 00:06:44,635
You know, it's
still possible
163
00:06:44,637 --> 00:06:46,770
for you to be good
in a bad movie.
164
00:06:46,772 --> 00:06:48,973
Okay.
165
00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:52,042
"Sometimes I feel
like I can control
166
00:06:52,044 --> 00:06:54,078
"the killer gorilla instinct
inside of me,
167
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,714
"but then I see these bananas
and I...
168
00:06:56,716 --> 00:07:00,151
just want to eat them
and then kill people."
169
00:07:02,854 --> 00:07:05,656
What am I gonna do?
Well,
170
00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:07,467
for starters, I wouldn't
eat the bananas.
171
00:07:07,492 --> 00:07:08,326
No...
172
00:07:08,327 --> 00:07:11,996
Come on! This is serious.
Uh, uh,
173
00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:13,497
does it at least pay well?
174
00:07:13,499 --> 00:07:15,533
Less than I was making
at The Cheesecake Factory.
175
00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:17,034
What does your agent think?
176
00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:19,770
She's thinking of taking a job
at The Cheesecake Factory.
177
00:07:21,973 --> 00:07:24,341
You know what, why
don't you just do it?
178
00:07:24,343 --> 00:07:26,577
You'll go have fun for a
few weeks, make some money--
179
00:07:26,579 --> 00:07:28,579
and who knows what
it might lead to?
180
00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:29,847
Okay, look, here, page 58.
181
00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:33,784
I oil-wrestle an orangutan
in a bikini.
182
00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:36,954
Just to clarify, which one
of you is wearing the bikini?
183
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:39,089
Both of us.
184
00:07:40,725 --> 00:07:42,927
So it's a family film.
185
00:07:46,198 --> 00:07:47,698
Thank you again for dinner.
186
00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:48,899
You're welcome.
187
00:07:48,901 --> 00:07:51,001
Good night.
Uh,
188
00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:52,403
it's date night.
189
00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:56,073
Aren't you, uh,
forgetting something?
190
00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:58,475
Oh, of course.
191
00:08:04,983 --> 00:08:09,253
Did I mention
the PS4 controllers light up?
192
00:08:11,256 --> 00:08:13,257
No.
193
00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:16,093
Well, they do.
194
00:08:19,431 --> 00:08:21,632
And then after coffee,
we went for a walk
195
00:08:21,634 --> 00:08:23,767
and she told me she always
thought people from India
196
00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:25,402
were exotic
and mysterious.
197
00:08:25,404 --> 00:08:28,505
So, with my mouth, I said,
"We're just like anybody else,"
198
00:08:28,507 --> 00:08:29,840
but with my eyes, I said,
199
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:32,343
"Straight up, Red,
hop on my flying carpet."
200
00:08:34,746 --> 00:08:37,248
So, you gonna
see her again?
201
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:38,616
Yeah, we have plans
this weekend.
202
00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:39,883
And if it's a clear night,
203
00:08:39,885 --> 00:08:42,786
I'm gonna lay
some romantic astronomy on her.
204
00:08:43,622 --> 00:08:45,322
Okay, like what?
Show me.
205
00:08:45,324 --> 00:08:47,191
I can't do that to Leonard.
206
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:50,828
This is some powerful
panty-dropping stuff.
207
00:08:52,230 --> 00:08:54,832
You have my blessing. Go for it.
208
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:57,868
Okay.
209
00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:00,137
Penny,
210
00:09:00,139 --> 00:09:03,507
two of the brightest stars
in the night sky
211
00:09:03,509 --> 00:09:05,476
are Altair and Vega.
212
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:08,679
And it is said
they were deeply in love
213
00:09:08,681 --> 00:09:10,481
but forever
separated
214
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:12,950
by the celestial river
of the Milky Way.
215
00:09:12,952 --> 00:09:14,818
Oh, that's sad.
It is.
216
00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:17,121
But once a year,
217
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:20,291
on the seventh day
of the seventh month,
218
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:24,895
Vega cries so hard that all
the magpies in the world fly up
219
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:26,864
and create a bridge
with their wings
220
00:09:26,866 --> 00:09:28,899
so the two lovers
can be together
221
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:30,834
for a single night
222
00:09:30,836 --> 00:09:32,803
of passion.
223
00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:36,206
Wow.
224
00:09:37,842 --> 00:09:39,910
Okay, that's enough.
225
00:09:43,248 --> 00:09:46,083
Quick poll: PS4 or Xbox One?
226
00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:47,351
Raj.
227
00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:48,752
Uh, Xbox One.
Penny.
228
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:49,787
Huh?
229
00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:52,122
Leonard.
PS4.
230
00:09:52,124 --> 00:09:54,024
Wolowitz.
Both great.
231
00:09:54,026 --> 00:09:56,694
Bernadette.
I like the Wii.
232
00:09:58,063 --> 00:10:00,197
Thanks, Grandma.
233
00:10:02,834 --> 00:10:05,169
Oh, my goodness.
What's up?
234
00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:07,771
I just got an e-mail
from my ex-girlfriend Lucy.
235
00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:10,307
She... misses me
and wants to get together.
236
00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:12,710
Two women at
the same time?
237
00:10:12,712 --> 00:10:15,512
Nice job, playa!
238
00:10:16,348 --> 00:10:18,082
Really?
239
00:10:19,184 --> 00:10:22,453
Was it the "two women"
thing or the "playa"?
240
00:10:23,021 --> 00:10:24,755
It was the "playa".
241
00:10:33,339 --> 00:10:35,006
What am I
supposed to do?
242
00:10:35,008 --> 00:10:37,642
How am I supposed to choose
between Emily and Lucy?
243
00:10:37,644 --> 00:10:40,078
Why do you have to choose?
Date both of them.
244
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,180
I can't date two women at once.
245
00:10:42,182 --> 00:10:44,416
Zero women--
that's my sweet spot.
246
00:10:44,418 --> 00:10:46,685
Unless you're sleeping
247
00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:49,220
with one of them, seeing
other people isn't a big deal.
248
00:10:49,222 --> 00:10:50,889
But what if one of them asks me
249
00:10:50,891 --> 00:10:52,557
what I was up to
the night before
250
00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:55,193
and I was with the other one?
Then, what, do I lie?
251
00:10:55,195 --> 00:10:56,761
Yes.
Yes.
252
00:10:59,031 --> 00:11:00,899
What do you mean, yes?
253
00:11:00,901 --> 00:11:02,567
What do you mean, yes?
254
00:11:02,569 --> 00:11:04,736
Were you seeing other women
when we started dating?
255
00:11:04,738 --> 00:11:06,404
No. Were you
seeing other men?
256
00:11:06,406 --> 00:11:07,339
No.
257
00:11:07,341 --> 00:11:09,007
Were you seeing
other men?
258
00:11:09,009 --> 00:11:10,675
No.
259
00:11:14,647 --> 00:11:16,815
Aren't you gonna ask me?
260
00:11:19,518 --> 00:11:21,820
Come on, really?
261
00:11:24,090 --> 00:11:26,191
Thank you so much
for letting us pick your brain.
262
00:11:26,193 --> 00:11:27,292
Yeah, happy to help.
263
00:11:27,294 --> 00:11:29,594
So, what's going on?
Well, I'm having
264
00:11:29,596 --> 00:11:31,529
an impossible time getting
my career off the ground,
265
00:11:31,531 --> 00:11:33,798
and I got offered a role
in this crappy horror movie,
266
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:35,934
and I just don't know
if I should take it.
267
00:11:35,936 --> 00:11:37,902
Well, I have
certainly taken some jobs
268
00:11:37,904 --> 00:11:39,337
that I've been embarrassed by.
269
00:11:39,339 --> 00:11:43,141
I wouldn't exactly
call Star Trek embarrassing.
270
00:11:44,176 --> 00:11:46,511
I wasn't.
271
00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:50,615
Me, either.
272
00:11:50,617 --> 00:11:52,951
So, what do you think,
273
00:11:52,953 --> 00:11:55,286
is there a professional
downside to doing it?
274
00:11:55,288 --> 00:11:56,655
Well, it's tricky.
275
00:11:56,657 --> 00:11:59,524
You want to take projects
that you're excited about,
276
00:11:59,526 --> 00:12:01,926
but sometimes you also
have to pay the bills.
277
00:12:01,928 --> 00:12:04,462
When you're on the set
working on something
278
00:12:04,464 --> 00:12:07,932
that you just know in your heart
is bad-- not Star Trek...
279
00:12:09,503 --> 00:12:13,138
Yeah, beam me up. I love it!
280
00:12:14,306 --> 00:12:17,776
Anyway, those jobs
can be soul-crushing.
281
00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:19,310
That's what I'm afraid of.
282
00:12:19,312 --> 00:12:21,980
Well, I was in Stand By Me
when I was a kid,
283
00:12:21,982 --> 00:12:23,448
and it was a
huge success.
284
00:12:23,450 --> 00:12:25,850
The terrible movies I did
came after that.
285
00:12:25,852 --> 00:12:27,619
I mean, imagine how that feels.
286
00:12:27,621 --> 00:12:29,354
Sounds rough.
287
00:12:29,356 --> 00:12:31,589
I'm telling you,
this business is brutal.
288
00:12:31,591 --> 00:12:34,626
To this day,
I hate going on auditions.
289
00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:36,494
Okay, I walk in,
and I can just
290
00:12:36,496 --> 00:12:39,030
feel them thinking...
291
00:12:39,032 --> 00:12:42,867
"He was such a cute kid.
What happened to him?"
292
00:12:45,037 --> 00:12:46,571
And then I don't get the job,
293
00:12:46,573 --> 00:12:49,307
and I can never
find out why.
294
00:12:50,476 --> 00:12:53,545
Honestly, I get so depressed,
there are entire weeks
295
00:12:53,547 --> 00:12:56,681
that I can't even
get out of bed.
296
00:12:58,384 --> 00:13:00,652
Okay, this was helpful.
297
00:13:04,156 --> 00:13:06,858
Any news on your coworker
who's in the hospital?
298
00:13:06,860 --> 00:13:09,661
Poor thing, she was
in surgery for 18 hours.
299
00:13:09,663 --> 00:13:12,130
She's alive, but she's
still in critical condition.
300
00:13:12,132 --> 00:13:13,264
Oh, no.
301
00:13:13,266 --> 00:13:15,333
The one bit of good news
is they put her
302
00:13:15,335 --> 00:13:17,469
in a medically induced coma
before she read the card.
303
00:13:17,471 --> 00:13:19,871
So, you know,
silver linings.
304
00:13:22,875 --> 00:13:26,010
Were you like this
when I married you?
305
00:13:28,180 --> 00:13:30,515
Don't worry
about it, buddy.
306
00:13:30,517 --> 00:13:32,650
Okay, bye.
307
00:13:32,652 --> 00:13:34,285
That was Wil--
he's feeling a lot better.
308
00:13:34,287 --> 00:13:37,956
Apparently, he's 12-down in
the TV Guide crossword puzzle.
309
00:13:39,692 --> 00:13:41,726
Did he help you make a decision
about the movie?
310
00:13:41,728 --> 00:13:42,927
No. Did you figure out
311
00:13:42,929 --> 00:13:44,896
what you're gonna do
about the two girls?
312
00:13:44,898 --> 00:13:46,231
As a matter of fact, I did.
313
00:13:46,233 --> 00:13:47,699
I've spent
so many years
314
00:13:47,701 --> 00:13:50,735
living in fear,
saying no to new experiences,
315
00:13:50,737 --> 00:13:52,036
but from now on,
316
00:13:52,038 --> 00:13:53,805
I'm gonna say yes--
yes to love,
317
00:13:53,807 --> 00:13:56,307
yes to adventure, yes to life;
whatever it may be,
318
00:13:56,309 --> 00:13:58,009
the answer's going to be yes.
319
00:13:58,844 --> 00:14:00,478
He's gonna die alone, right?
320
00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:02,013
Yeah.
Yes.
321
00:14:04,483 --> 00:14:06,151
I'm proud of
you, Sheldon.
322
00:14:06,153 --> 00:14:07,919
You know, I'm proud of me, too.
323
00:14:07,921 --> 00:14:11,623
I've done all my research,
I conducted an informal poll,
324
00:14:11,625 --> 00:14:13,458
and I've arrived
at the rock-solid certainty
325
00:14:13,460 --> 00:14:14,793
I've made
the right choice.
326
00:14:14,795 --> 00:14:16,298
Well, that's got to be
a good feeling.
327
00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:17,930
Oh, it is.
328
00:14:17,931 --> 00:14:19,964
Although...
Oh, crap.
329
00:14:21,133 --> 00:14:24,836
I had the same feeling when
I made my dad buy a Betamax
330
00:14:24,838 --> 00:14:26,571
instead of a VHS.
331
00:14:26,573 --> 00:14:28,640
You were just a little kid.
332
00:14:28,642 --> 00:14:30,542
Yeah, a little kid
who picked the wrong format
333
00:14:30,544 --> 00:14:33,077
to record
The MacNeil/Lehrer Report.
334
00:14:34,146 --> 00:14:35,580
I also was certain
335
00:14:35,582 --> 00:14:38,449
that HD DVD would win out
over Blu-ray.
336
00:14:38,451 --> 00:14:40,718
How old were you then?
Old enough to know better.
337
00:14:42,688 --> 00:14:44,589
You know, and now that
I think about it,
338
00:14:44,591 --> 00:14:46,524
I stood in front of
a case of iPods
339
00:14:46,526 --> 00:14:49,460
and I bought a Zune.
340
00:14:50,963 --> 00:14:52,397
What's a Zune?
341
00:14:52,399 --> 00:14:54,332
Yeah, exactly.
342
00:14:55,401 --> 00:14:56,968
It's an MP3 player
343
00:14:56,970 --> 00:14:58,937
brought to us
by the makers of Xbox.
344
00:14:58,939 --> 00:15:01,239
What... no, what are you doing?
345
00:15:01,241 --> 00:15:02,440
No, no, pick
that back up.
346
00:15:02,442 --> 00:15:04,509
You know it's good.
You did the research.
347
00:15:04,511 --> 00:15:05,977
But what if I'm wrong?
348
00:15:05,979 --> 00:15:07,745
You know what?
349
00:15:07,747 --> 00:15:10,048
How about I buy
it for you?
350
00:15:10,050 --> 00:15:11,349
How about
351
00:15:11,351 --> 00:15:13,251
I buy you both?
352
00:15:13,253 --> 00:15:15,153
You know I only have
one slot available
353
00:15:15,155 --> 00:15:16,454
in my entertainment center.
354
00:15:16,456 --> 00:15:18,623
Then I'll buy you a new
entertainment center.
355
00:15:18,625 --> 00:15:19,824
Well, yeah... okay, sure.
356
00:15:19,826 --> 00:15:22,660
But which one?
357
00:15:22,662 --> 00:15:24,262
How about this?
358
00:15:24,264 --> 00:15:25,897
I've heard
359
00:15:25,899 --> 00:15:27,165
that if you flip a coin,
360
00:15:27,167 --> 00:15:28,867
it will tell you how
you actually feel.
361
00:15:28,869 --> 00:15:30,335
Because you'll either
be disappointed
362
00:15:30,337 --> 00:15:31,803
or excited by the outcome.
363
00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:33,471
Interesting.
364
00:15:33,473 --> 00:15:36,975
So, heads it's PS4,
tails it's Xbox One.
365
00:15:38,310 --> 00:15:39,978
All right, I'll try.
366
00:15:44,149 --> 00:15:45,149
What is it?
367
00:15:45,151 --> 00:15:46,351
A quarter.
368
00:15:51,023 --> 00:15:52,523
Could have given
it back to me.
369
00:15:52,525 --> 00:15:54,292
That was a choice.
370
00:16:00,634 --> 00:16:02,333
You look...
371
00:16:02,335 --> 00:16:03,902
you look really pretty tonight.
372
00:16:03,904 --> 00:16:05,236
Thanks.
373
00:16:05,238 --> 00:16:06,204
I love that jacket.
374
00:16:06,206 --> 00:16:07,939
Thank you.
Thanks, thanks.
375
00:16:10,409 --> 00:16:12,410
I'm sorry. I can't do this.
376
00:16:12,412 --> 00:16:14,345
My... my ex-girlfriend
e-mailed me,
377
00:16:14,347 --> 00:16:15,947
and I'm seeing her Saturday...
378
00:16:15,949 --> 00:16:19,717
And I'm glad you like it--
it's from J. Crew.
379
00:16:20,653 --> 00:16:22,320
I don't understand.
380
00:16:22,322 --> 00:16:23,721
My friends told me it was okay
381
00:16:23,723 --> 00:16:25,556
to see more than
one person at a time,
382
00:16:25,558 --> 00:16:27,225
but it-it feels like
I'm being deceitful.
383
00:16:27,227 --> 00:16:29,060
Are you getting
back together with her?
384
00:16:29,062 --> 00:16:30,361
No.
385
00:16:30,363 --> 00:16:32,130
I-I... I have no idea.
386
00:16:32,132 --> 00:16:33,498
What would you do?
387
00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:37,969
Uh, usually on first dates,
I talk about music and stuff,
388
00:16:37,971 --> 00:16:40,705
but I was promised weird,
so let's do this.
389
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:43,574
How serious were you two?
390
00:16:43,576 --> 00:16:46,177
Well, to be honest,
391
00:16:46,179 --> 00:16:49,580
we only went on four dates,
hugged twice, kissed once,
392
00:16:49,582 --> 00:16:53,251
and there was a handshake
loaded with sexual innuendo.
393
00:16:56,155 --> 00:16:57,655
Wait, so...
394
00:16:57,657 --> 00:16:59,824
a girl you never slept with
sent you an e-mail
395
00:16:59,826 --> 00:17:02,527
and you felt so guilty about it
that you had to tell me?
396
00:17:02,529 --> 00:17:03,661
Yeah.
397
00:17:03,663 --> 00:17:06,397
That's kind of adorable.
398
00:17:06,399 --> 00:17:08,466
Are you... are you sure?
399
00:17:08,468 --> 00:17:10,101
Because this is
the part of the night
400
00:17:10,103 --> 00:17:12,270
where I've said something stupid
and the girl usually leaves.
401
00:17:12,272 --> 00:17:13,604
I'm still here.
402
00:17:13,606 --> 00:17:17,375
Yeah, but now you make me wonder
what's wrong with you.
403
00:17:18,711 --> 00:17:20,378
We just met.
404
00:17:20,380 --> 00:17:22,880
You don't need to tell me about
other people you're seeing.
405
00:17:22,882 --> 00:17:24,816
Really?
Mm-hmm.
406
00:17:24,818 --> 00:17:26,951
Because "I'm dating two women"
407
00:17:26,953 --> 00:17:30,254
is basically the only cool
thing I can say about myself.
408
00:17:41,166 --> 00:17:44,969
On the one hand, the Xbox One
has a better camera...
409
00:17:44,971 --> 00:17:48,806
but the PS4 has
a removable hard drive.
410
00:17:48,808 --> 00:17:51,109
Thoughts?
411
00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:53,311
I can't feel
my legs.
412
00:17:56,048 --> 00:17:57,882
Oh... I'm sorry, guys,
413
00:17:57,884 --> 00:17:59,484
but the store closed
five minutes ago.
414
00:17:59,486 --> 00:18:02,020
But I haven't
decided yet.
415
00:18:02,022 --> 00:18:03,354
You'll have to come
back tomorrow.
416
00:18:03,356 --> 00:18:04,856
The registers are closed.
417
00:18:08,862 --> 00:18:10,962
Let's get you
some food.
418
00:18:10,964 --> 00:18:12,363
Y-You'll feel better
after you eat.
419
00:18:12,365 --> 00:18:14,599
Okay.
420
00:18:14,601 --> 00:18:16,734
What-what do you want,
like, Thai food?
421
00:18:16,736 --> 00:18:18,403
A... a burger?
422
00:18:18,405 --> 00:18:20,671
I don't know!
423
00:18:31,550 --> 00:18:33,785
Hey, look, a quarter!
424
00:18:47,067 --> 00:18:48,378
How's that feel?
425
00:18:48,379 --> 00:18:49,544
Great.
426
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:51,947
Not like regret at all.
427
00:18:53,449 --> 00:18:55,884
Penny?
428
00:18:55,886 --> 00:18:57,386
We're working together!
429
00:18:58,703 --> 00:19:00,136
Awesome!
430
00:19:00,138 --> 00:19:05,138
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
431
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:09,137
Automatically download subtitles with http://subtitlesapp.com