1 00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:03,904 - ♪ Look up there ♪ - ♪ What do you see? ♪ 2 00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:05,539 ♪ Nature and stuff ♪ 3 00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:06,916 - ♪ Like a rock ♪ - ♪ And a tree ♪ 4 00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:09,543 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 5 00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:13,180 ♪ Way up here, you can breathe the air ♪ 6 00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:14,348 ♪ Catch some fish ♪ 7 00:00:14,414 --> 00:00:15,983 ♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪ 8 00:00:16,049 --> 00:00:17,184 ♪ Wow ♪ 9 00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:20,554 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 10 00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:22,089 ♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪ 11 00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:23,690 ♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪ 12 00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:25,197 ♪ From longest night to longest day ♪ 13 00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:29,229 ♪ In the Great North. ♪ 14 00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:37,104 Thanks for the ride home from the mall, Steven. 15 00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:38,372 Sure, any time. 16 00:00:38,438 --> 00:00:40,073 I mean, anytime you're at the mall. 17 00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:42,385 Because, otherwise, how could I drive you home from there? 18 00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:45,078 Oh, great point, and I love... points. 19 00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:46,313 Well, that movie was fun. 20 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,815 - Yeah. - So, uh, this is off topic, 21 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,484 but, um, could I kiss you? 22 00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,619 Uh, yeah, big time. 23 00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:55,389 ♪ ♪ 24 00:00:58,926 --> 00:01:01,261 - (Judy exclaiming) - Oh, no! Are you okay, Judy? 25 00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:02,829 - Uh... - Do you need some help? 26 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,131 No, no, I'm all set. 27 00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:05,532 I just wanted to lie on the ground 28 00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:07,301 and gather my thoughts about the evening. 29 00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:09,836 I‐‐ Yeah, okay, I guess I'll, I'll just, I'll just go. 30 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,238 Oh, sounds good. 31 00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:13,440 So just have a great year. 32 00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:15,842 Or keep in touch, actually, is what I meant to say. 33 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,477 - Or stay in school. - Okay. 34 00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:18,745 Uh, bye? 35 00:01:19,379 --> 00:01:22,049 Judy tootie, fresh and fruity, how's it dangling? 36 00:01:22,115 --> 00:01:23,517 That is a very fun new greeting, 37 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,519 imaginary best friend Alanis Morissette. 38 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,120 I'm just gonna dive right in here 39 00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:28,789 with how it is actually dangling. 40 00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:30,867 Is this about the big group movie date you went on tonight? 41 00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:33,060 Yes. Did you happen to see me maybe... 42 00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:35,004 Fall off the porch when Steven Huang tried to kiss you? 43 00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:37,040 And then pretend that you like laying on the ground? 44 00:01:37,064 --> 00:01:38,532 And then say "stay in school"? 45 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:39,900 - So you saw? - I saw. 46 00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:41,568 It started out so great. 47 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,880 You see, on the group date, Steven and I went in together‐‐ 48 00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:46,440 financially‐‐ on a plus‐size movie treat. 49 00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:48,976 Does anyone want to share a jumbo Minty Mints? 50 00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:50,344 (in slow motion): I do. 51 00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:53,981 (in slow motion): Oh! (laughing) 52 00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:56,016 Due to our mint‐sharing agreement, Steven and I 53 00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:58,619 had to sit next to each other and the next thing you know, 54 00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:00,654 there were a... more than usual number 55 00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,932 - of fingers in that box. - ALANIS: I'm not sure you know 56 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,233 what you're saying, Judy, but continue. 57 00:02:04,257 --> 00:02:05,492 Plus he wears cologne 58 00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:06,593 like a young millionaire, 59 00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:07,995 and it makes him smell like... 60 00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:09,763 like if a hamburger went ahead 61 00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:10,931 and just took a bath. 62 00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:12,432 So my senses were... 63 00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:14,277 - overwhelmed, you get it. - Overwhelmed, I get it. 64 00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:17,237 But then when he went in for the big K‐I‐S‐S, 65 00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:20,440 I just couldn't do it because of, because of‐‐ 66 00:02:20,507 --> 00:02:22,876 - The incident? - Yes, the incident. 67 00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:24,411 Let me paint a picture for you. 68 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:27,214 - Oh, good, the story again. - There I was, 69 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,316 standing near my locker with my seventh grade 70 00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:31,184 boyfriend, Anderson Guffstafsen. 71 00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:33,120 Two sweet, crazy tweens 72 00:02:33,186 --> 00:02:35,856 unaware of the tragedy that was about to befall them. 73 00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:38,525 The hallway cleared, Anderson leaned in for a kiss, 74 00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:41,328 But just then, a breeze blew through, 75 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,196 and a bunch of his gorgeous blond hair 76 00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:44,798 blew right into my mouth. 77 00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:46,333 It was my first kiss‐‐ I didn't know 78 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:47,868 what I was feeling and I thought 79 00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:49,269 that's what Frenching felt like. 80 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,571 I mean, it's France, so I just kept kissing. 81 00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:55,175 And then I realized his hair was lodged in my braces. 82 00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:57,010 And when I say "lodged," I mean 83 00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:59,880 "lodged" ‐‐ we had to walk to the nurse's office like that! 84 00:02:59,946 --> 00:03:02,549 It was the longest walk of my life. 85 00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:05,085 Teachers let kids come out of the classrooms to gawk. 86 00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:07,854 The school nurse had to cut Anderson's beautiful 87 00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:09,423 locks out of my mouth. 88 00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:12,059 And then the dentist had to temporarily 89 00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:15,328 remove my braces to get the rest of the hair out! 90 00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:17,364 Sure, I got two prizes when it was all over. 91 00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:19,099 A bouncy ball and a plastic spider ring 92 00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:21,210 that would also get caught in my braces months later. 93 00:03:21,234 --> 00:03:22,736 But Anderson and I both decided 94 00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:25,505 that it was best to go our separate ways 95 00:03:25,572 --> 00:03:27,283 and I haven't been able to kiss anyone since. 96 00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:29,209 - Huh. - What do you mean, "huh"? 97 00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:31,812 Well, I know that story's why you say 98 00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,213 you haven't kissed anyone since, 99 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:34,791 but don't you think that maybe your tendency 100 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:37,984 to avoid relationships is, I don't know, genetic? 101 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,411 - What?! - I'm just saying your dad 102 00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:41,088 has dated anyone since your mom left. 103 00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:44,391 Well, yeah, but that was pretty recently very many years ago. 104 00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:46,460 And for a long time, he pretended she was dead 105 00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:48,071 so he wouldn't have to get back out there. 106 00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:49,796 Well, he stopped doing that now. 107 00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:52,566 And how many dates has he been on since he stopped pretending? 108 00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:54,768 Mm, well, that would be zero, Alanis, 109 00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:57,270 and I feel like you knew that and that was a gotcha question. 110 00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:59,072 See, he let one bad experience 111 00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:01,141 prevent him from ever trying to find love again. 112 00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:02,485 And now here you are doing pretty much 113 00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:04,745 - the same thing, right? - Uh, well... 114 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:07,080 I mean, not kissing anyone sounds like a great way 115 00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:08,648 to never get hurt and then die alone 116 00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:10,560 clutching a photograph of someone you never kissed. 117 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:14,121 Oh, God, I don't want Dad to die alone like that! 118 00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:15,587 I was talking more about you, but... 119 00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:17,190 No, you're right. I got to get going 120 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,159 - on fixing my dad right away. - Okay. 121 00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:21,561 Dumb Alanis, my dad isn't gonna die alone. 122 00:04:21,628 --> 00:04:24,331 My dad's gonna die accompanied. Oh, hey, Moon. 123 00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:25,899 - Hey, Judy. - Uh, what are you doing? 124 00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:27,768 I'm capturing a flightless ruffed grouse 125 00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:30,237 to teach it how to fly and then re‐release it into the wild. 126 00:04:30,303 --> 00:04:32,143 - What are you doing? - Storming over to Wolf's 127 00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:33,483 to talk to him about Dad's love life. 128 00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:36,676 - Good luck. - And to you, my friend. 129 00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,412 Uh‐oh, looks like somebody 130 00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:41,181 - wants in on Fonzarella Night. - What? 131 00:04:41,248 --> 00:04:42,883 Oh, Fonzarella Night, yeah. 132 00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,727 We watch a Henry Winkler movie and make mozzarella sticks. 133 00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:46,429 Tonight it's You Don't Mess with the Zohan. 134 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,121 He plays "Uncredited Limousine Passenger," 135 00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:51,258 but he still steals the movie out from under Sandler, IMHO. 136 00:04:51,324 --> 00:04:54,027 Wolf, I need to talk to you urgently about Dad. 137 00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:56,029 You had me at Dad. 138 00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:57,764 Everyone, this is Timothy. 139 00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:00,200 Please note that he is not a pet or food. 140 00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:01,835 I'm teaching him to fly. 141 00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:03,003 Oh, maybe I can help you. 142 00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:04,271 I also cannot fly, 143 00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:05,882 so I totally get what he's going through. 144 00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:08,208 No offense, Moon, personally, I don't care for birds. 145 00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:09,719 I always catch them peaking in my windows. 146 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:12,012 Stop peaking, birds. This isn't for you. 147 00:05:12,078 --> 00:05:13,346 Yeah, it's for her, birds. 148 00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:14,948 A woman's body is her own dominion. 149 00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:17,284 Eyes to yourself, Timothy. Don't look at my dominion. 150 00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:18,852 Okay, so family meeting. 151 00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:22,189 Little dawn download requested by our only sister Judy. 152 00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:24,191 Juderonomous, you've the floor. 153 00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:25,937 (clears throat) It has come to my attention 154 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:28,562 via a friend of mine who definitely exists here on Earth 155 00:05:28,628 --> 00:05:31,531 and is a real person that Dad has not been on any dates 156 00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,300 since admitting that Mom left him. 157 00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:34,877 And he is at serious risk of dying alone, 158 00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:37,504 clutching a women he carved out of a tree stump. 159 00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:39,573 - Aren't we all? - So I was thinking we should 160 00:05:39,639 --> 00:05:41,441 give him a little push just to, you know, 161 00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,628 - get him back out there. - And I realize that there's 162 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,512 a "Meet and Meat" singles mixer tomorrow night 163 00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:47,347 at the Russian Bar that'd be perfect 164 00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:48,774 for meeting some Lone Moose ladies. 165 00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:50,383 Now, why is it called a "Meet and Meat"? 166 00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:51,694 Oh, because they also raffle off 167 00:05:51,718 --> 00:05:53,486 a bunch of meat from local hunters. 168 00:05:53,553 --> 00:05:54,754 I used to go to it sometimes 169 00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:56,223 when I was an eligible bachelor. 170 00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:57,991 Never met anyone, but one time I won 171 00:05:58,058 --> 00:05:59,626 14 caribou steaks. 172 00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,561 Lost 'em on the way home, but what a thrill. 173 00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:03,897 I printed out a flier for it from their website 174 00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:04,998 using our old printer. 175 00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:06,299 It only took 45 minutes, 176 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,643 and you can read two‐thirds of it. 177 00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:09,569 - Dope. - Oh, boy, Dad's gonna hate this. 178 00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:11,137 Don't you think we should just let him 179 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,672 meet someone on his own? 180 00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:14,641 Like when Harry met, you know, what's it called? 181 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,711 - Sally. - No, the Hendersons, and they all fell in love. 182 00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:20,313 Guys, I think we ought to support Judy here, 183 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,215 and by doing that, support Dad. 184 00:06:22,282 --> 00:06:23,516 We should go, too. I'm taken, 185 00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:24,985 but I'd love to win some bacon. 186 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,519 You got it, my sausage sweetie. 187 00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:28,688 Great idea. We can all go. And as a bargaining chip, 188 00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:31,458 Wolf and I thought we could promise Dad, in exchange, 189 00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:34,261 - the one thing he's always wanted. - You don't mean... 190 00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:35,762 Yeah, I do mean. I'm talking about 191 00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,964 the whole family taking the Chain Saw Basics 192 00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:41,167 workshop series being offered at the public library. 193 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,736 ‐(Ham groans) ‐Hear us out. 194 00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:45,238 Guys, it's only four Saturdays. Eight hours each day. 195 00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:46,940 Well, we've avoided it for years, 196 00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:48,951 but if that's what it takes to stop Dad from dying alone, 197 00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:52,445 - then stick a fork in me, 'cause I'm a chain saw. - Great. 198 00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:54,232 Oh, God, here he comes. Everyone act casual. 199 00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:56,683 What's going on? Is it the apocalypse? 200 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,885 No one panic, we have 500 years' worth of rice, 201 00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,954 and two Calvin and Hobbes books in the basement. 202 00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:04,190 No, it's even better than that, if you can believe it. 203 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,625 (sings fanfare) 204 00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:07,503 Dad, it's time for you to get back on the horse 205 00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:09,863 and ride that horse to the barn and meet women 206 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:13,400 at the Meet and Meat singles mixer this weekend. 207 00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:15,602 Oh, I didn't tell you guys? 208 00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:19,172 I'm actually off to Hawaii for a work trip. 209 00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:20,650 - You get it, you get it. - Uh‐oh, code Dad. 210 00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:22,609 - Grab him, quick! - He's on the move! 211 00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,291 Children, sorry that I tried to run away, and you were forced 212 00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:30,383 to wrestle me to the ground and then sit on me 213 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:33,386 for 15 minutes while I fought you like a wild bear. 214 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,021 (chuckles) It's no problem, Dad. 215 00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:38,258 We'll wrestle you to the ground any day, and I mean that. 216 00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:40,327 So, if I go tomorrow and attempt to, 217 00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:42,529 as the teens say, "meet people," 218 00:07:42,595 --> 00:07:45,298 you will really all seriously attend 219 00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:47,567 the Chain Saw Basics workshop with me? 220 00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:50,003 Yep. That's what we said, and that's what we meant. 221 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,371 You have my word. 222 00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:53,306 You can also have this word: pineapple. 223 00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:55,408 I've asked you to do that so many times. 224 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,277 It's literally all I've ever wanted. 225 00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:59,312 And now it's all we've ever wanted. 226 00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:01,514 32 hours with our family and our chain saws. 227 00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:04,284 Well, then, the Meet and Meat it is. 228 00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:06,653 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go throw up 229 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,788 about this very fun dating opportunity 230 00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:10,657 before heading out to work on the boat. 231 00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:13,126 Guys, we did it‐‐ Dad will no longer die alone. 232 00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:15,528 But instead he will die in the arms of a woman. 233 00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:16,997 Identity TBD. 234 00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:18,298 Okay, great job, everybody. 235 00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:20,133 Time for school. Let's head out. 236 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,668 Have fun at school, guys. 237 00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:23,512 I've got to stay home and teach Timothy to fly. 238 00:08:23,536 --> 00:08:26,039 Uh‐uh. No way, bub. You're going to school. 239 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:27,316 Me and Honeybee will watch Tim. 240 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,675 I'll show him Top Gun. 241 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,543 If anyone can teach him to fly, it's Maverick. 242 00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:32,445 Fine. But fast‐forward through the part 243 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,681 where Goose dies, please. 244 00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:36,792 You know, Judes, I was thinking we might need to help Dad 245 00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:38,618 brush up on his skills before tomorrow. 246 00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,754 The Meet and Meat is no joke. There's, uh... 247 00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:42,622 How do I say this? A lot of pool cues, 248 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,400 not a lot of pockets, if you know what I mean. 249 00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:46,159 - No. What do you mean? - A lot of hot dogs, 250 00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:47,560 - not a lot of buns. - Huh? 251 00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:49,347 What he's saying is there'll be tons of, uh, 252 00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:51,040 Washington Monuments, not a lot of Grand Canyons. 253 00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:53,366 - Do we need to spell this out for you? - Maybe. 254 00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:55,602 A lot of letters, not a lot of envelopes. 255 00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:58,238 A lot of prairie dogs, not a lot of prairie dog holes. 256 00:08:58,304 --> 00:09:00,373 A lot of feet, not a lot of socks. 257 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,509 - Ham gets it. - Tons of DVDs, 258 00:09:02,575 --> 00:09:04,978 not a ton of DVD shelves to put 'em on? 259 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,113 Oh, uh, kinda. Yeah. Good try, Moon. 260 00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:08,681 A lot of Andre the Giants, 261 00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:11,317 not a lot of gigantic sleeping bags. 262 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,219 Uh, what are you guys talking about?! 263 00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:14,721 A lot of men, very few women. 264 00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:17,290 Oh... okay, then, yeah. 265 00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:18,901 After school, we should help Dad practice dating. 266 00:09:18,925 --> 00:09:20,960 And who better to practice on than your own kids? 267 00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:25,298 Exactly. No one knows Dad's romantic needs better than us. 268 00:09:25,932 --> 00:09:28,735 - Judy, hi. - JUDY: The longest walk - of my life. 269 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:31,838 (screams): Oh, hi, hair. I mean hi there, Steven. 270 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,774 (laughs): I didn't know you'd be here in my mouth. 271 00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:36,676 No, I mean here, near my locker. 272 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:39,412 - (laughs nervously) - Yep, here I am. 273 00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:40,856 I was wondering if maybe this weekend 274 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,549 you wanted to, uh, hang out. 275 00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:45,685 Oh, huh, I wish, because, um, on weekends I travel 276 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:46,953 as a flight attendant. 277 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,589 So I'll be in Frankfurt, Germany. 278 00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:52,592 Okay, uh, well, maybe during the week, then? 279 00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:54,227 I mean, I had a lot of fun with you, 280 00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:55,504 and I think you're really great. 281 00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:57,130 I think you're great, too. 282 00:09:57,197 --> 00:10:00,500 Okay, now I have to go stand over there because I‐‐ Wow! 283 00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:02,202 You know what, I just farted, actually, 284 00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:03,512 and I'm allergic to my own farts, 285 00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:04,580 so I've got to keep on moving. 286 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,206 No, don't follow me, please. 287 00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:07,783 It's not safe, um, 'cause I'm still farting, 288 00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:09,318 so you don't want to enter the blast zone, okay. 289 00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:11,277 Whoo‐hoo, melt your face off. 290 00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:12,545 Wow, ew, gross. Bye‐bye. 291 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,714 - Bye‐bye. Stay there. - B‐Bye. 292 00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:17,183 Okay, ready? Toss him back. 293 00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:18,585 - Let's go again. - Hey, guys. 294 00:10:18,651 --> 00:10:19,929 Do you maybe want to take a break 295 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,187 from teaching Timothy to fly 296 00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:22,722 so that we can teach Dad to date? 297 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:25,692 No can do, Judy, he's pretty motivated right now. 298 00:10:25,758 --> 00:10:28,695 Actually, he fell asleep. (gasps) Or died? 299 00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:29,896 Nah, he's sleeping. 300 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,764 Let's get started. Dad, it's been a while 301 00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:33,900 since your last date, so this is just practice 302 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,569 to help you with your conversation skills. 303 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,338 Sorry I said "skills" like that. 304 00:10:38,404 --> 00:10:40,039 In my mind it was gonna be cool. 305 00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:41,608 Judy, I loved it. 306 00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:43,552 So, Dad, why don't you go ahead and take a seat there 307 00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:45,536 - across from Wolf‐‐ he'll be your date. - Charmed. 308 00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:46,779 I'll be your waitress. 309 00:10:46,846 --> 00:10:48,948 And everyone else will judge you. 310 00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:50,216 - Sound good? - Not really. 311 00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:51,351 And... action. 312 00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:53,086 Now, uh, Dad, just relax 313 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,754 and pretend I'm a wonderful lady. 314 00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:57,390 (feminine voice): So, Beef, what do you do? 315 00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:59,159 I kill fish for money. 316 00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:01,427 My, my, my! 317 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,862 Okay, uh‐uh, this is not good. 318 00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:04,898 Listen, not to brag, but before I met Wolf, 319 00:11:04,964 --> 00:11:06,299 I went on a lot of dates. 320 00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:07,977 (normal voice): Course you did, my swipe queen. 321 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,502 Heart eyes emoji big‐time. 322 00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:11,604 And honestly, Beef, if you want to be a good date, 323 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,140 there are really only three rules to remember. 324 00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:16,442 One, ask her questions about herself. 325 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,011 Two, listen to her answers. 326 00:11:18,077 --> 00:11:19,755 Three, don't ask for any of my cheesy garlic knots 327 00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:21,548 with two different dipping sauces. 328 00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:23,449 If you want that, order it yourself. 329 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,185 I always order my own sauces. 330 00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:26,452 I'm not a sociopath. 331 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,721 Great. Now let's try this date again. 332 00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:29,656 So... 333 00:11:29,722 --> 00:11:31,090 (feminine voice): So... 334 00:11:31,157 --> 00:11:32,592 (whispers): Ask her questions. 335 00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:36,029 Um, okay. What kind of fish do you like? 336 00:11:36,095 --> 00:11:37,664 I love trout. 337 00:11:37,730 --> 00:11:39,942 - What kind of fish do you hate? - No more fish talk, Beef. 338 00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:41,167 If you were a fish, 339 00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:42,936 - what kind of fish would you be? - No. 340 00:11:43,002 --> 00:11:44,613 - What kind of fish wouldn't you...? Damn it! - No. 341 00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:47,941 How about we get some drinks and loosen up? 342 00:11:48,007 --> 00:11:49,475 I'll take a fish shake. 343 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:50,877 - Dad, no! - Nope. 344 00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:54,847 I'm trying. Do you have a driver's license? 345 00:11:54,914 --> 00:11:55,949 - Yes. - Me, too. 346 00:11:56,015 --> 00:11:57,684 Okay, that's better, I guess. 347 00:11:57,750 --> 00:11:59,752 Just a few more hours of practice, 348 00:11:59,819 --> 00:12:02,155 maybe, like, 12 more hours, and tomorrow we'll be kissing 349 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,823 and dating like you wouldn't believe. 350 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,492 Hey, guys, next time I'd like to play one of the dates. 351 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,528 Cheryl. She's a business associate 352 00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:10,563 who knows what she wants. 353 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:11,731 Or does she? 354 00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:14,300 Okay, we are about to send Dad in there 355 00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,245 to hopefully make some sort of romantic connection 356 00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:17,770 which is incredibly important for him 357 00:12:17,837 --> 00:12:20,206 and not so much for me because I am very confident 358 00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:21,474 about dating and kissing. 359 00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:22,809 - Congratulations. - Thank you. 360 00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:24,644 Now, Dad, if you feel like running, 361 00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:27,247 just picture us all at the library carving out 362 00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:29,282 some quality time to learn about chain saws. 363 00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:30,383 And each other. 364 00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:31,951 But in case you do run... 365 00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:34,187 I'll be sitting near the front door to block that exit, 366 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,888 Wolf and Honeybee, you stick close by him 367 00:12:35,955 --> 00:12:37,490 and keep him from talking about fish. 368 00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:38,867 Moon and Ham, you go around the back 369 00:12:38,891 --> 00:12:40,627 in case he tries to escape that way. 370 00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:42,638 And don't get distracted by teaching Timothy to fly. 371 00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:43,763 We won't. 372 00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:45,040 Do you know that you just winked at me? 373 00:12:45,064 --> 00:12:46,332 - I do. - Okay. 374 00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:47,867 If I die in there, 375 00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,135 there's a box in my closet 376 00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:50,937 labeled "Poems for Andie MacDowell" 377 00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:54,440 that I'd prefer you threw out without opening. 378 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,277 HONEYBEE: Ooh, look at all those meats we could win! 379 00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:01,414 It's like the zoo. But they're all dead. 380 00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:02,749 It's roasting in here. 381 00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:04,651 The thermostat says 52 degrees, Dad. 382 00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,819 Well, it feels like I'm in Cabo St. Lucas. 383 00:13:06,886 --> 00:13:08,430 Okay, well, I'm just gonna go sit over there 384 00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:09,722 with my little poem pad 385 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,457 and guard the door. Go get 'em, Dad. 386 00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:13,393 Oof. Are there even any women here? 387 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,094 Sure, sure. Oh, uh, look. 388 00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:16,629 There's Vera. 389 00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:18,140 And there's that lady there, who I've never seen. 390 00:13:18,164 --> 00:13:20,566 ♪ You can keep me warm... ♪ 391 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:25,204 Hark, a siren pulls me onto yonder rocks. 392 00:13:29,008 --> 00:13:30,877 Looks like someone buttered your dad's roll. 393 00:13:30,943 --> 00:13:32,087 Go on and get her, Beefcheeks. 394 00:13:32,111 --> 00:13:33,479 Oh, please, a woman like that 395 00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,315 has her pick of the pumpkins. 396 00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:36,749 Be confident. 397 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,584 If you weren't my dad, I'd be so into you. 398 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:41,354 - Um... - You just need a little Dutch courage, Pops. 399 00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:43,022 Yeah, Beef, you hit the bar 400 00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:44,791 while we go get some raffle tickets. 401 00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:46,359 I'll take a cup with ice, 402 00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:48,137 and then a lot of alcohol poured all over the ice. 403 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,896 And your largest appetizer sampler. 404 00:13:49,962 --> 00:13:53,299 Nothing sets a romantic mood like the smell of warm cheese. 405 00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,201 (groans) He's supposed to be mingling. 406 00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:57,070 - Mingling and singling. - Hi, Judy. 407 00:13:57,136 --> 00:13:58,938 JUDY: I mean "lodged." 408 00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,473 (yelps) Oh. Hey, Steven. 409 00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:01,540 There you are again. 410 00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:02,751 Which I am open to, of course, 411 00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:04,010 because... I'm normal. 412 00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:05,478 Wait. What are you doing here? 413 00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:07,113 My mom's the cocktail server here, 414 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,915 so this is kind of like my second home. 415 00:14:08,981 --> 00:14:10,049 Can I buy you a soda? 416 00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:12,785 Oh! My... accountant is here... 417 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,253 outside with my‐‐ 418 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,123 He has my taxes, which are due... tonight. 419 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,791 So... (laughs) with regret... 420 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:22,695 I must walk away from you to go to see him. 421 00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:24,030 Okay. 422 00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:26,466 If you're wondering if any of the meats are haunted, 423 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,201 it's just the reindeer sausages. 424 00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:30,436 But is friendly ghost. Likes to watch me toilet. 425 00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:32,672 Look at that! He's going in. 426 00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:35,375 Yeah, Dad! Hit on that woman! Respectfully! 427 00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:37,643 Excuse me, miss, but I seem to have ordered myself 428 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,313 a slightly too large appetizer platter. 429 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:41,824 Would you have any interest in sharing? 430 00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:43,750 Yeah, if you think there's enough for two. 431 00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:45,385 Hot damn. 432 00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:47,954 - Name's Dell. - Beef. 433 00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:50,022 So... do... you... 434 00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:51,824 - fish? - I do fish! 435 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:52,825 You do? 436 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:53,926 Well, I used to. 437 00:14:53,993 --> 00:14:55,037 I'm just getting back into it. 438 00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,562 I hadn't been out much 439 00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:58,307 since my husband Jasper died while we were fishing. 440 00:14:58,331 --> 00:14:59,975 There's nothing quite like watching a dock line 441 00:14:59,999 --> 00:15:02,044 wrap around your husband's neck, pull him into the water, 442 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,046 and then pop his head clean off right in front of you 443 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,048 - to put you off fishing for a spell. - That makes sense. 444 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:08,808 Yeah, took me a while to find the damn thing, too. 445 00:15:08,875 --> 00:15:10,376 His head, that is. 446 00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:11,878 I put his favorite hat on him 447 00:15:11,944 --> 00:15:13,522 after they stitched his head back to his neck. 448 00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:14,823 Didn't have to brush his hair, at least. 449 00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:16,816 He hated getting his hair brushed. 450 00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:17,950 He said it was too fancy. 451 00:15:18,017 --> 00:15:19,118 Well, he wasn't wrong. 452 00:15:19,185 --> 00:15:21,087 Listen, I know we just met, 453 00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:22,955 and this is gonna sound wild, but... 454 00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:25,558 do you want to go outside and get some air? 455 00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,760 I sure do. It's roasting in here. 456 00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:30,797 For our next meat bundle, we have a side of elk. 457 00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:33,599 And our winner is... Honeybee Shaw! 458 00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:34,867 Yay! 459 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,814 Let's put this on our bed and roll around on it. 460 00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:39,739 Uh, hey, Judy, what you doing in the trash there? 461 00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:41,040 Oh, well, Steven's here, 462 00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,875 and so I'm picking out a gift for him. 463 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,610 - In the dumpster? - Uh... 464 00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:46,946 - Wait, is that your...? - Dad. 465 00:15:47,013 --> 00:15:48,056 - And he's with a... - Woman? 466 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:49,949 Wow. I knew he could do it. 467 00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:51,284 Looks like they're hopping on 468 00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:53,419 the choo‐choo train to Smooch City. 469 00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:55,188 Next stop: Kissachusetts. 470 00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:57,657 So tell me about this plan again? 471 00:15:57,723 --> 00:16:01,060 I'm gonna leap off a branch and show Timothy how to fly. 472 00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:04,297 Yeah, but you can't fly, so... 473 00:16:04,363 --> 00:16:06,966 Mmm. I can kind of soar. He'll see what I'm getting at. 474 00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:08,935 BEEF: What an excellent view. 475 00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:10,503 DELL: Yeah, the ocean is 476 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,104 both breathtakingly beautiful 477 00:16:12,171 --> 00:16:13,731 and the foundation of our local economy. 478 00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:15,842 This is so romantic. 479 00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,243 So, I was thinking. 480 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,679 Maybe sometime, only if you wanted to, 481 00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:22,949 uh, maybe we could do a thing... together. 482 00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:24,984 Like a‐a film... or chores. 483 00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:26,051 You mean like a date? 484 00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:28,287 No, no, no. Well... yes. 485 00:16:28,354 --> 00:16:30,523 Like a date. Exactly like a date. 486 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,625 Oh, my God. 487 00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:34,760 ♪ Well, I'm singing a song ♪ 488 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:37,163 ♪ About how Alanis was wrong ♪ 489 00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:39,565 ♪ Me and my dad are gonna date ♪ 490 00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:42,368 ♪ But not each other, that sounded weird ♪ 491 00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:45,104 ♪ We're gonna date separate people ♪ 492 00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:47,807 ♪ My dad's gonna date this lady right here ♪ 493 00:16:47,874 --> 00:16:49,942 - ♪ 'Cause she's gonna say ♪ - Hmm. 494 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,478 - ♪ I said she's gonna say... ♪ - No. 495 00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:53,679 (gasps) 496 00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:54,680 MOON: Aah! 497 00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:57,016 Did he see me? Is he flying? 498 00:16:57,083 --> 00:16:58,651 Oh. This is the part of Top Gun 499 00:16:58,718 --> 00:17:01,020 you weren't supposed to see, Timothy. 500 00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:06,335 Well, this night was a disaster. 501 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:07,894 That rejection was pretty brutal. 502 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,629 What exactly did she say to Dad? 503 00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:10,963 - "No." - Yikes. 504 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,798 ‐Yeah. ‐BEEF: Good news. It's just a sprain. 505 00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,067 I asked them if they could rearrange my arm bones 506 00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:16,669 into wings, but they said no. 507 00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:19,539 (groans) That's insane. Did they say why? 508 00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:21,774 JUDY: Who's that on the porch? 509 00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:23,175 An intruder? Is it go time? 510 00:17:23,242 --> 00:17:24,911 I believe that intruder 511 00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:27,580 is Dell, the leathery angel I met this evening. 512 00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:29,248 (groans) I can't believe it. 513 00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:31,250 First she rejects you, now she's here to rob us? 514 00:17:31,317 --> 00:17:33,553 Guys, I don't think she's here to rob us. 515 00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:35,955 She's probably here to say she made a terrible mistake 516 00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:37,256 and that Dad's the greatest 517 00:17:37,323 --> 00:17:38,400 and of course she'll go out with him. 518 00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:39,926 Okay, but if she does rob us, 519 00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,003 she's not getting this meat. 520 00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:41,961 I would die for this meat. 521 00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:43,195 Hello there, Beef. 522 00:17:43,262 --> 00:17:44,964 I wondered if I could have a word. 523 00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:46,299 Of course. 524 00:17:46,365 --> 00:17:47,733 Uh, everyone, why don't you head in 525 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,411 and give me and Dad and Dell some privacy. 526 00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:51,370 - Judy... - Okay, but if you need me, 527 00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:53,439 I'll just be listening at the door. 528 00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:55,708 About that invitation to go on a date... 529 00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,109 ‐(gasps) ‐Judy. 530 00:17:57,176 --> 00:17:58,644 - Sorry! - HAM: I'm here, too. 531 00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:00,012 Okay. 532 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,456 WOLF: Uh, we are also here, Dad, full disclosure. 533 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:02,982 Me and Honeybee and Moon. 534 00:18:03,049 --> 00:18:04,250 Got it. Thank you. 535 00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:05,785 WOLF: You are welcome, big guy. 536 00:18:05,851 --> 00:18:07,186 You were saying? 537 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,564 Well, I didn't get a chance to give you 538 00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,323 a full answer at the raffle tonight. 539 00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:11,767 WOLF: Could you speak up just a touch more, Dell? 540 00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:13,626 I'm having a little trouble hearing you. 541 00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:14,927 Oh, okay. 542 00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:16,572 - (louder): How‐how's this? - That's better, thanks! 543 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:19,165 I, uh, really didn't go to the Meat and Meet 544 00:18:19,231 --> 00:18:20,866 to meet anyone. 545 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,268 Romantically, that is. 546 00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:25,037 Thing is, Jasper was not the first of my husbands 547 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,073 - to succumb to a terrible fate. - I see. 548 00:18:27,139 --> 00:18:29,108 My first love, Donovan, froze to death. 549 00:18:29,175 --> 00:18:31,110 In our freezer. He wasn't very bright. 550 00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:32,645 The next two fell in holes. 551 00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,690 And Richard was in a plane crash, which he survived, 552 00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:36,482 but then his friend Kevin ate him. 553 00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:37,216 Good Lord. 554 00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:38,851 Yeah. So you can see how 555 00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:40,629 I've begun to think of myself as something of a curse. 556 00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:42,497 And you seem like a good guy who does not deserve 557 00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:44,857 to suffer a gruesome death because you went out with me. 558 00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:45,925 WOLF: A‐greed! 559 00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:47,293 - Wolf. - Love you, Dad. 560 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:48,861 So, if you're out of the dating game, 561 00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:50,296 why were you at a singles mixer? 562 00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:52,264 I figured I might do some networking, 563 00:18:52,331 --> 00:18:54,734 maybe meet someone who had a boat, find a job. 564 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,068 Well, I have a boat. 565 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,803 And I might be able to use some help 566 00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:59,748 on Tuesdays and Thursdays when my daughter works at the mall. 567 00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:02,375 I'm afraid the red hot flames of our instant attraction 568 00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:05,578 might make concentrating on the fish a little difficult. 569 00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:06,679 Understood. 570 00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:08,156 But maybe after a cooling‐off period, 571 00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:10,116 you could ask me again. 572 00:19:10,182 --> 00:19:12,518 About the date or the job? 573 00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:13,653 Both. 574 00:19:13,719 --> 00:19:14,954 This might be crazy, 575 00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:16,689 but I think I'm Team Dell. 576 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,825 Hey, Dad. I just wanted to say sorry. 577 00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,193 For what? 578 00:19:21,260 --> 00:19:22,337 I... I wanted you to find love again, 579 00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:23,663 but you wound up getting hurt. 580 00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:26,866 Maybe it is better just to... not do stuff. 581 00:19:26,932 --> 00:19:29,001 Even though I was rejected, 582 00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:30,269 I‐it was good to try again. 583 00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:31,904 - You were right. - Oh, good. 584 00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:34,807 So, then... So, then, you're good. 585 00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:36,108 Good. 586 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,610 What's really bothering you, Judes? 587 00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:40,146 Do you think there's something in our nature‐‐ 588 00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:41,681 I mean me and you‐‐ 589 00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:43,816 that makes us not want to put ourselves out there... 590 00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:45,351 like, for love? 591 00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:47,095 Like, we get a little hair in our mouth one time 592 00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:48,421 and then we're afraid 593 00:19:48,487 --> 00:19:49,765 that we're always gonna get hair in our mouth. 594 00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:51,123 You know what I mean? 595 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,634 Do you think there's something wrong with us? 596 00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:53,726 Wrong with us? 597 00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:55,061 Nah. We're great. 598 00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:57,196 We're just also picky. And sensitive. 599 00:19:57,263 --> 00:19:58,698 (laughs) And a little dramatic. 600 00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:01,534 And maybe watching me get hurt by your mom 601 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,903 made you a little nervous about relationships. 602 00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:06,372 I mean, the year that you got all that hair in your teeth 603 00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:08,874 - was the year that she... - Left. 604 00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:10,376 Huh. I guess it was. 605 00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:13,045 So maybe we both just got a little gun‐shy. 606 00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:14,413 And it's not surprising 607 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,348 that sometimes we need a little push. 608 00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:19,085 Also, to be honest, it was a lot of hair, Judy. 609 00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:20,386 Like, a lot. 610 00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:23,055 Dad, I think I need a little push. 611 00:20:23,122 --> 00:20:24,423 Okay. 612 00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:25,701 Can you snow machine me back to that bar? 613 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,359 - Right now? - Right now. 614 00:20:27,426 --> 00:20:28,994 Sure. Why wouldn't I snow machine 615 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,229 my 16‐year‐old daughter 616 00:20:30,296 --> 00:20:32,631 to a bar at 11:00 at night? 617 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,869 Dad, avert your eyes. 618 00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:38,270 Hey, look. A truck. 619 00:20:38,337 --> 00:20:39,905 Oh. Hey, Judy. 620 00:20:39,972 --> 00:20:41,640 Oh, hello, Steven. 621 00:20:41,707 --> 00:20:43,752 Um, the thing is, I didn't kiss you on the porch the other night 622 00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:46,345 because I was afraid that your hair would end up in my mouth. 623 00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:47,480 And it is a long story. 624 00:20:47,546 --> 00:20:49,348 But I do still want to kiss you 625 00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:51,450 if you still want to kiss me. 626 00:20:51,517 --> 00:20:53,886 I mean, warn me if the farts are starting again, 627 00:20:53,953 --> 00:20:55,454 but yes. 628 00:20:57,723 --> 00:20:59,925 ♪ ♪ 629 00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:03,629 ♪ All my girls know how this one goes ♪ 630 00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:05,765 ♪ So many birds lookin' in your windows ♪ 631 00:21:05,831 --> 00:21:08,367 ♪ Don't give it away to a gull or pigeon ♪ 632 00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,703 ♪ Your body is your own dominion ♪ 633 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,738 ♪ Don't let a grouse peek in your blouse ♪ 634 00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:14,940 ♪ Don't let a peacock down your knee socks ♪ 635 00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:17,676 ♪ Don't let a seagull look at your keyhole ♪ 636 00:21:17,743 --> 00:21:20,346 ♪ I've met a lot of birds and they're all B‐holes ♪ 637 00:21:20,412 --> 00:21:22,214 ♪ Eyes to yourself, Timothy ♪ 638 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,750 ♪ Keep your rooster crest out of my vest ♪ 639 00:21:24,817 --> 00:21:27,286 ♪ I'm closing my blinds, go back to your nest. ♪ 640 00:21:27,310 --> 00:21:29,310 >>>>oakislandtk<<<<< www.opensubtitles.org