1 00:00:02,304 --> 00:00:04,275 - ♪ Look up there ♪ - ♪ What do you see? ♪ 2 00:00:04,342 --> 00:00:05,945 ♪ Nature and stuff ♪ 3 00:00:06,012 --> 00:00:07,348 - ♪ Like a rock ♪ - ♪ And a tree ♪ 4 00:00:07,414 --> 00:00:10,555 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 5 00:00:10,622 --> 00:00:13,761 ♪ Way up here, you can breathe the air ♪ 6 00:00:13,828 --> 00:00:15,130 ♪ Catch some fish ♪ 7 00:00:15,197 --> 00:00:16,967 ♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪ 8 00:00:17,034 --> 00:00:17,936 ♪ Wow ♪ 9 00:00:18,003 --> 00:00:21,142 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 10 00:00:21,209 --> 00:00:22,846 ♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪ 11 00:00:22,913 --> 00:00:24,415 ♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪ 12 00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:26,152 ♪ From longest night to longest day ♪ 13 00:00:26,219 --> 00:00:29,693 ♪ In the Great North. ♪ 14 00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:35,505 WOLF: Well, Dad, another day 15 00:00:35,572 --> 00:00:37,374 of taking down some hard-core halibut, 16 00:00:37,441 --> 00:00:38,878 the perps of the sea. 17 00:00:38,945 --> 00:00:40,991 Son, I want to act like I know what you're talking about, 18 00:00:41,015 --> 00:00:43,588 but it's been a long day and I just don't have the strength. 19 00:00:43,654 --> 00:00:45,457 Whenever it's just the two of us on the boat, 20 00:00:45,525 --> 00:00:47,294 I feel like we're a couple of TV detectives 21 00:00:47,361 --> 00:00:49,933 hitting the street, and the fish are the bad boys. 22 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,237 Like I'm Crockett and you're Tubbs. 23 00:00:52,304 --> 00:00:53,440 Or I'm Rizzoli and you're... 24 00:00:53,507 --> 00:00:55,344 - Dad, watch out! - What the... 25 00:00:58,083 --> 00:01:00,788 Wow, definitely a Rizzoli move, Dad. 26 00:01:00,855 --> 00:01:02,324 Wait, the name on that boat. 27 00:01:02,391 --> 00:01:04,195 Dad, that's the Lucey Gucey. 28 00:01:04,261 --> 00:01:05,565 "The" Lucey Gucey? 29 00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,736 You know who that boat belongs to. 30 00:01:07,802 --> 00:01:09,606 BOTH: Tusk Johnson! 31 00:01:09,673 --> 00:01:12,311 Okay, movie buffs, who's ready for 32 00:01:12,378 --> 00:01:14,883 another Tobin Family Film Friday? 33 00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,687 - Pizza's up. - Sweet. Popcorn? 34 00:01:16,754 --> 00:01:18,189 Buttery and more buttery. 35 00:01:18,256 --> 00:01:19,760 Copy that. Dad and Wolf? 36 00:01:19,826 --> 00:01:21,262 - Inbound. - Perfect. 37 00:01:21,329 --> 00:01:25,738 And imaginary drumroll as Tobin Family Film Friday starts 38 00:01:25,805 --> 00:01:26,940 in a-three, a-two... 39 00:01:27,007 --> 00:01:29,445 BOTH: Tusk Johnson's in town! 40 00:01:29,513 --> 00:01:30,948 Uh-oh. Is this a warning? 41 00:01:31,015 --> 00:01:32,828 (gasps) Do we need to pack our things and go on the run? 42 00:01:32,852 --> 00:01:34,121 What? (Laughs) No. 43 00:01:34,188 --> 00:01:35,457 You've never heard of. 44 00:01:35,525 --> 00:01:37,261 The Alaskan Adventures of Tusk Johnson? 45 00:01:37,327 --> 00:01:38,931 It was a hit TV show for years. 46 00:01:38,998 --> 00:01:40,935 Local Alaska public access. 47 00:01:41,002 --> 00:01:42,572 He's basically Dad's favorite person. 48 00:01:42,639 --> 00:01:44,609 And Wolf's favorite person who isn't Dad. 49 00:01:44,676 --> 00:01:46,596 I can't believe he's actually here in Lone Moose. 50 00:01:46,647 --> 00:01:48,116 Word is he's been living in the woods 51 00:01:48,183 --> 00:01:49,729 with a pack of wolves since his show ended. 52 00:01:49,753 --> 00:01:52,057 Apparently, he's actually faster running on four legs 53 00:01:52,124 --> 00:01:54,839 - than on two now. - This was a TV show that people actually watched? 54 00:01:54,863 --> 00:01:57,502 Just a guy wandering around in the woods? 55 00:01:57,569 --> 00:01:59,740 Hell yeah. But, oh, how he wandered. 56 00:01:59,806 --> 00:02:01,075 How... he... wandered. 57 00:02:01,142 --> 00:02:03,480 Okay, you know I don't like to throw around the phrase 58 00:02:03,547 --> 00:02:06,787 "white nonsense," but this definitely qualifies. 59 00:02:06,854 --> 00:02:10,327 The man was a legend, unmatched in the Alaskan arts. 60 00:02:10,393 --> 00:02:12,732 And unmatched in kick-ass theme songs. 61 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,836 - Check this out. - ♪ He lives in the woods ♪ 62 00:02:14,903 --> 00:02:16,439 ♪ And survives on the land ♪ 63 00:02:16,507 --> 00:02:18,452 ♪ And he never met a beast that he couldn't tame ♪ 64 00:02:18,476 --> 00:02:20,356 ♪ He'll take down a bear, fight a wolf in his lair ♪ 65 00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:22,351 ♪ If you live in the wild then you know his name ♪ 66 00:02:22,417 --> 00:02:24,756 ♪ It's Tusk Johnson, mountain man ♪ 67 00:02:24,823 --> 00:02:27,027 ♪ Living in the woods just because he can ♪ 68 00:02:27,094 --> 00:02:29,933 ♪ Tusk Johnson, mountain man ♪ 69 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,939 ♪ Did we mention that Tusk has a sidekick, Dan? ♪ 70 00:02:33,006 --> 00:02:34,643 Wait, I have seen this guy, 71 00:02:34,709 --> 00:02:36,647 at the Russian restaurant yesterday. 72 00:02:36,713 --> 00:02:38,517 According to Zoya, he's been hanging out there 73 00:02:38,584 --> 00:02:40,788 every night this week, but his hair was grayer 74 00:02:40,855 --> 00:02:42,024 and he had a shirt on. 75 00:02:42,090 --> 00:02:43,837 I noticed him because he ordered a "soup cup of ranch," 76 00:02:43,861 --> 00:02:46,499 and I thought to myself, "Uh-huh, game recognize game." 77 00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:49,438 He's been here all week? I knew there was something in the air. 78 00:02:49,506 --> 00:02:50,818 I thought it was just another accident 79 00:02:50,842 --> 00:02:52,545 they were covering up at the oil refinery. 80 00:02:52,612 --> 00:02:53,981 But it must have been Tusk. 81 00:02:54,048 --> 00:02:56,285 And he's hanging out at our very own Russian restaurant? 82 00:02:56,352 --> 00:02:57,956 Dad, are you thinking what I'm thinking? 83 00:02:58,022 --> 00:02:59,969 - We should leave him alone. - We should go meet him. 84 00:02:59,993 --> 00:03:02,732 Well, I guess it might be okay to look at him 85 00:03:02,799 --> 00:03:03,901 from across the room. 86 00:03:03,968 --> 00:03:06,205 Wait, Dad, it's your night to pick the movie. 87 00:03:06,272 --> 00:03:08,777 Yes, and I take that role seriously, which is why 88 00:03:08,844 --> 00:03:12,117 I keep this box of preapproved VHS recorded movies 89 00:03:12,184 --> 00:03:14,321 for the family, ready to go in the event 90 00:03:14,388 --> 00:03:15,725 of my untimely death. 91 00:03:15,791 --> 00:03:19,866 Wow, we would be devastated. But the show must go on. 92 00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:21,335 (sighs) Fine. 93 00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:23,707 I guess we'll start the movie without you guys. 94 00:03:23,774 --> 00:03:24,876 That's the spirit. 95 00:03:24,943 --> 00:03:27,849 (gasps) What's Dy-nasty? 96 00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,853 - Oh, Dynasty. - Mm. 97 00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:32,224 There are a bunch in here with that written on them 98 00:03:32,291 --> 00:03:33,627 in Mom's handwriting. 99 00:03:33,694 --> 00:03:35,473 We'll just give it five minutes, then pop it out 100 00:03:35,497 --> 00:03:37,034 and watch a real mov... (gasps) 101 00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:39,639 What strange glamour is this? 102 00:03:39,706 --> 00:03:42,545 Look at those office buildings. 103 00:03:42,612 --> 00:03:45,183 Denver. We have to go there. 104 00:03:45,250 --> 00:03:46,352 She calls to me. 105 00:03:46,419 --> 00:03:50,928 Oh, hello, Wayne Northrop. And good day, John Forsythe. 106 00:03:51,596 --> 00:03:53,299 - Dad, it's him. - Oh! 107 00:03:53,366 --> 00:03:54,970 - Wow. - Am I crazy, 108 00:03:55,036 --> 00:03:56,472 or does he have a glow? 109 00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:58,042 BEEF: Oh, he's gorgeous. 110 00:03:58,109 --> 00:04:00,013 - We gotta say hi. - Wait, Wolf! 111 00:04:01,482 --> 00:04:03,954 (shuddering): Ha... ha... 112 00:04:04,021 --> 00:04:05,390 Uh, hi? 113 00:04:05,457 --> 00:04:09,298 (squeakily): Ha-ha-ha... Hi. 114 00:04:09,365 --> 00:04:10,568 (high-pitched): Ha... 115 00:04:10,634 --> 00:04:12,672 - (clears throat) Hi. - Hi. 116 00:04:12,739 --> 00:04:16,312 - (stammering): Hi. Hi. Ha. - (clears throat) Hi. Hi... 117 00:04:16,379 --> 00:04:17,682 A-Are you guys singing? 118 00:04:17,749 --> 00:04:19,451 Are you, like, the male Judds? 119 00:04:19,519 --> 00:04:22,190 BOTH (straining): You're Tusk Johnson. 120 00:04:22,257 --> 00:04:24,395 Yes, I am. (Sniffs) 121 00:04:24,461 --> 00:04:26,165 That smell, is that... 122 00:04:26,232 --> 00:04:27,769 It's probably me. When I'm nervous, 123 00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:29,873 my sweat smells like Cheetos and Brut for men. 124 00:04:29,939 --> 00:04:32,678 No, no, this is more like oil and Damascus steel. 125 00:04:32,745 --> 00:04:34,157 The kind of a scent you might give off 126 00:04:34,181 --> 00:04:37,522 if you were carrying a full-tang fixed bobcat knife 127 00:04:37,588 --> 00:04:38,824 with a one-piece wood handle. 128 00:04:38,891 --> 00:04:41,128 Hammer-forged blade, grain leather, 129 00:04:41,195 --> 00:04:42,965 with an aniline-finish sheath. 130 00:04:43,032 --> 00:04:45,871 The C-17 Beast Tracker. Nice. 131 00:04:45,938 --> 00:04:48,644 Uh, I have one, too. It's broken and I lost it. 132 00:04:48,710 --> 00:04:51,248 Let me buy you fellas a drink. Three whiskeys. 133 00:04:51,315 --> 00:04:53,486 I'll have my whiskey with a root beer back 134 00:04:53,554 --> 00:04:55,390 and a Sprite chaser, and then 135 00:04:55,457 --> 00:04:56,827 another Sprite, just separately. 136 00:04:56,893 --> 00:04:59,331 Wait, so Adam was lying to Claudia about Blake 137 00:04:59,398 --> 00:05:00,768 - the whole time? - Yeah. 138 00:05:00,835 --> 00:05:02,548 He just wanted to take over her father's company. 139 00:05:02,572 --> 00:05:05,511 I've learned so much about how to be an adult tonight. 140 00:05:05,578 --> 00:05:09,017 There's more face slapping than I'd ever dared dream. 141 00:05:09,084 --> 00:05:11,455 (all singing): ♪ Tusk Johnson, mountain man ♪ 142 00:05:11,523 --> 00:05:14,629 ♪ Did we mention that Tusk has a sidekick, Dan? ♪ 143 00:05:14,696 --> 00:05:17,702 - Man, I have so many questions about the show. - Me, too. 144 00:05:17,768 --> 00:05:19,171 Did you really eat all those bees, 145 00:05:19,238 --> 00:05:21,478 - even though you're allergic? - You have that backwards. 146 00:05:21,543 --> 00:05:23,379 Bees are actually allergic to me. 147 00:05:23,446 --> 00:05:24,682 Man, it is good to meet folks 148 00:05:24,749 --> 00:05:27,087 with a real enthusiasm for the wild. 149 00:05:27,154 --> 00:05:30,460 That's why I came back to Alaska to shoot my new show. 150 00:05:30,528 --> 00:05:32,932 - No... way. - Wait. What?! 151 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,368 - No... no way! - What?! 152 00:05:34,434 --> 00:05:36,940 Yes way. I am making The New Alaskan Adventures 153 00:05:37,007 --> 00:05:39,679 of Tusk Johnson, but I'm shooting this one myself. 154 00:05:39,746 --> 00:05:41,950 - Down and dirty. - Oh, that is so cool. 155 00:05:42,017 --> 00:05:45,156 Oh, man, Mr. Johnson, we didn't just watch your show. 156 00:05:45,223 --> 00:05:47,403 We actually tried some of your wildest outdoor challenges. 157 00:05:47,427 --> 00:05:51,268 I even rafted down some rapids on a single log, just like you. 158 00:05:51,335 --> 00:05:54,007 Well, we both did it. Father and son, 159 00:05:54,074 --> 00:05:56,680 side by side on the river, mounted upon logs, 160 00:05:56,746 --> 00:05:58,149 each doing a good job. 161 00:05:58,216 --> 00:05:58,750 Impressive. Even my sidekick Dan needed two logs 162 00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:02,157 to get down the rapids. 163 00:06:02,224 --> 00:06:04,529 Whatever happened to Dan? He wasn't in the last season. 164 00:06:04,596 --> 00:06:07,067 Yeah. Dan. He, uh 165 00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:09,806 he went behind my back, tried to get his own show. 166 00:06:09,872 --> 00:06:12,745 Stole my crew, my producer and my wife. 167 00:06:12,812 --> 00:06:15,283 And now I'm going through a hell of a divorce. 168 00:06:15,350 --> 00:06:17,153 Bar closing. Your card declined. 169 00:06:17,220 --> 00:06:19,726 Ah, man. That'll be my ex-wife 170 00:06:19,792 --> 00:06:21,830 going nuts on BikiniWorld.com again. 171 00:06:21,896 --> 00:06:24,569 She's never met a tankini she didn't wanna bring home. 172 00:06:24,636 --> 00:06:27,675 I'll just go get some cash out. You guys hold tight. 173 00:06:27,742 --> 00:06:29,912 Well, now, how about we get the drinks? 174 00:06:29,979 --> 00:06:31,048 Oh, no, no, no, no. 175 00:06:31,115 --> 00:06:32,317 - I couldn't. - We insist. 176 00:06:32,384 --> 00:06:34,856 Wow, I-I really appreciate that. Thank you. 177 00:06:34,922 --> 00:06:37,227 Well, no credit card means no hotel. 178 00:06:37,294 --> 00:06:39,164 - What about your boat? - It got towed, 179 00:06:39,231 --> 00:06:41,803 when I left it in the wrong dock this afternoon. 180 00:06:41,870 --> 00:06:43,607 So I better go find some place to dig 181 00:06:43,674 --> 00:06:44,876 a nice comfy sleeping hole. 182 00:06:44,942 --> 00:06:47,247 Or you can dig a nice comfy sleeping hole 183 00:06:47,314 --> 00:06:48,884 - in our couch. - Don't worry. 184 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:51,623 It's not a fold-out and it's very uncomfortable. 185 00:06:51,690 --> 00:06:53,259 Sounds like a dream. 186 00:06:57,467 --> 00:06:59,080 Kids, did you know that Tusk once survived 187 00:06:59,104 --> 00:07:01,743 a week on a mountain wearing only leaves and bark? 188 00:07:01,810 --> 00:07:03,980 Wow. How'd you stop the hypothermia? 189 00:07:04,047 --> 00:07:06,720 I embraced it. See this leg? It's been frostbit so much, 190 00:07:06,786 --> 00:07:08,590 I can't even feel my upper thigh. 191 00:07:08,657 --> 00:07:09,835 Go ahead, jam that fork in it. 192 00:07:09,859 --> 00:07:11,295 - Moon, I wouldn't... - HAM: No! 193 00:07:11,362 --> 00:07:12,965 - Why, Lord? - Ha-ha! Do it again, Boone. 194 00:07:13,032 --> 00:07:14,969 - Hyah! - Oh, he did it again. - I can't watch. 195 00:07:15,036 --> 00:07:17,675 Moon, please, let's try not to stab our guest. 196 00:07:17,742 --> 00:07:19,320 You know, Tusk, if you want a great story 197 00:07:19,344 --> 00:07:21,750 about living in these woods, I should tell you about the time 198 00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:23,887 I crossed an ice plain in a blizzard 199 00:07:23,954 --> 00:07:25,924 to return a baby caribou to its mother 200 00:07:25,991 --> 00:07:27,762 after it wandered into the hospital 201 00:07:27,828 --> 00:07:29,899 - while Moon was being born. - Hell of a day. 202 00:07:29,966 --> 00:07:31,806 Or what about that time when I built that cabin 203 00:07:31,836 --> 00:07:33,382 with my bare hands? Fell down right away. 204 00:07:33,406 --> 00:07:35,911 Lucky no one was in it, but it was fun while it lasted. 205 00:07:35,978 --> 00:07:38,950 Ah, sounds like you're both pretty accomplished outdoorsmen. 206 00:07:39,017 --> 00:07:41,121 How about we have a friendly little competition 207 00:07:41,188 --> 00:07:42,558 and see what you guys can do? 208 00:07:42,625 --> 00:07:43,927 Oh, an outdoor competition 209 00:07:43,994 --> 00:07:46,031 with me, my dad and Tusk Johnson? 210 00:07:46,098 --> 00:07:48,436 - That's my fantasy threesome. - Babe, no. 211 00:07:48,503 --> 00:07:50,082 All right, let's jump in the van and head up 212 00:07:50,106 --> 00:07:52,277 - to some real untamed country. - (grunts) 213 00:07:52,343 --> 00:07:53,547 Aah! Wrong leg! 214 00:07:53,613 --> 00:07:58,690 All right, the first challenge is a 90-foot tree climb. And go! 215 00:07:58,757 --> 00:08:02,063 Round one: Beef. Next task: Tree felling. 216 00:08:02,130 --> 00:08:03,733 WOLF: Man, this is fun! 217 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,971 Oh, I see this round is over. 218 00:08:06,038 --> 00:08:10,146 Round two: Beef. Time for the shelter build. 219 00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:15,389 Aw, well, darn it, that just fell down on its own. 220 00:08:15,456 --> 00:08:16,926 Round three: Wolf. 221 00:08:16,993 --> 00:08:19,164 - Fishing. - Get out of here, buddy. Shoo. 222 00:08:19,231 --> 00:08:21,669 I'm trying to let my son win. You understand? 223 00:08:21,736 --> 00:08:23,205 - Do you have a family? - Yeah! 224 00:08:23,272 --> 00:08:24,675 We got ourselves a tie. 225 00:08:24,742 --> 00:08:26,913 Last round. Let's make a fire. 226 00:08:26,980 --> 00:08:29,619 Oh, man, this is harder than I remember. 227 00:08:29,685 --> 00:08:31,188 And Wolf wins. 228 00:08:31,255 --> 00:08:33,527 Yes! In your face, Dad! 229 00:08:33,593 --> 00:08:34,862 Ah, but that's enough ribbing. 230 00:08:34,929 --> 00:08:36,933 - Let's move on to hugging. - Whoa. 231 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,904 Yeah, our hugs are pretty tender. 232 00:08:38,970 --> 00:08:40,406 No, no, no, I'm talking about those. 233 00:08:40,473 --> 00:08:43,547 Three golden eagle eggs. You know how much 234 00:08:43,613 --> 00:08:45,125 those would go for on the rare animal black market? 235 00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:48,790 - A million dollars. - 357 each. U. S. D's. 236 00:08:48,857 --> 00:08:50,393 That is wildly specific. 237 00:08:50,459 --> 00:08:52,096 Gotta be a way I can get those eggs. 238 00:08:52,163 --> 00:08:54,467 Get the eggs? Why would you want to do that? 239 00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:56,639 It's illegal, not to mention an affront 240 00:08:56,706 --> 00:08:57,975 to the wilderness herself. 241 00:08:58,042 --> 00:09:00,446 Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I meant I was just gonna 242 00:09:00,514 --> 00:09:01,916 "get" them. 243 00:09:01,983 --> 00:09:05,356 You know, like, really, really understand those eggs. 244 00:09:05,423 --> 00:09:07,728 - That is so deep, Tusk. - Huh. 245 00:09:07,795 --> 00:09:09,035 Because it sounded for a second 246 00:09:09,064 --> 00:09:10,801 like you were planning on actually taking 247 00:09:10,867 --> 00:09:12,036 and selling those eggs. 248 00:09:12,103 --> 00:09:13,583 Once again, Beef, you misunderstood me. 249 00:09:13,607 --> 00:09:17,648 Yes, I believe I have misunderstood you. 250 00:09:17,715 --> 00:09:19,952 Well, it's time we head back to the house anyway. 251 00:09:20,019 --> 00:09:21,379 And you probably need to figure out 252 00:09:21,421 --> 00:09:23,492 where you're gonna dig your sleeping hole tonight. 253 00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:25,797 Oh, well, uh, I'm thinking it's better 254 00:09:25,864 --> 00:09:28,703 if I stay with you guys tonight, because, uh, 255 00:09:28,770 --> 00:09:30,106 we gotta get up early 256 00:09:30,172 --> 00:09:32,711 - to start shooting the show. - What do you mean? 257 00:09:32,778 --> 00:09:34,381 This was all an audition. 258 00:09:34,447 --> 00:09:37,721 I want both of you to be on my show. 259 00:09:37,788 --> 00:09:39,257 And I want to shoot it on your boat! 260 00:09:39,324 --> 00:09:41,996 - Well, wait a minute. I'm not... - Aah! We got the parts? 261 00:09:42,063 --> 00:09:43,633 - You hear that, Dad? - Yep. 262 00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:45,236 I want you to be my new Dans. 263 00:09:45,302 --> 00:09:48,643 Oh, wow, I can't believe I'm gonna be a Dan with my dad. 264 00:09:48,710 --> 00:09:50,781 What do you say, Beef? 265 00:09:52,551 --> 00:09:54,154 - Fine. - Sick! 266 00:09:54,220 --> 00:09:57,594 (echoing): Sick, sick, sick, sick... 267 00:09:57,661 --> 00:10:01,168 Your mom had some great stuff. I love this robe. 268 00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:03,472 Yep, she loved it, too. That's what she always wore 269 00:10:03,540 --> 00:10:04,818 - to parent-teacher night. - All right. 270 00:10:04,842 --> 00:10:06,120 - Pop in that tape. - WOLF: Guys, 271 00:10:06,144 --> 00:10:08,282 me and Dad are gonna be on Tusk's show! 272 00:10:08,348 --> 00:10:09,785 Whoo-hoo, is it set in Denver? 273 00:10:09,852 --> 00:10:11,455 - Uh, no. - Then we probably don't care. 274 00:10:11,522 --> 00:10:14,528 Maybe you guys didn't hear me. We're the new Dans. 275 00:10:14,595 --> 00:10:16,933 Ugh, if you all must continue talking, 276 00:10:16,999 --> 00:10:18,435 would you kindly do it 277 00:10:18,503 --> 00:10:19,939 - on the veranda? - (knock on door) 278 00:10:20,005 --> 00:10:22,343 Ah, that'd be Doris, my, uh, cameraman. 279 00:10:22,410 --> 00:10:24,170 We're just gonna prep for the shoot tomorrow. 280 00:10:24,214 --> 00:10:26,652 A guest? Now? It's nearly 7:50. 281 00:10:26,719 --> 00:10:29,558 Oh, don't worry, Beef, we'll keep it quick and professional. 282 00:10:29,625 --> 00:10:31,562 Hi. You got any wine? 283 00:10:31,629 --> 00:10:33,198 Or vanilla extract? 284 00:10:33,265 --> 00:10:35,402 TUSK: How many times are we gonna have this argument? 285 00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:37,282 DORIS: Until you get it through your thick head. 286 00:10:37,306 --> 00:10:39,879 There are nine Fast & Furious movies. Nine! 287 00:10:39,945 --> 00:10:42,116 - Eight. Hobbs & Shaw doesn't count. - It does. 288 00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:45,590 It's called Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw. 289 00:10:45,657 --> 00:10:46,859 How could that not count? 290 00:10:46,926 --> 00:10:48,328 How could you say that to me? 291 00:10:48,395 --> 00:10:50,567 It's true, my sister is way hotter than your sister, 292 00:10:50,634 --> 00:10:52,370 - and you know it! - You're blind! 293 00:10:52,436 --> 00:10:55,242 TUSK: The butt is the elbow of the back. 294 00:10:55,309 --> 00:10:56,746 It's so obvious! 295 00:10:56,813 --> 00:10:59,217 What's up, Tusketeers? Your old pal Tusk is back. 296 00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:02,323 With Beef and Wolf Tobin, two of Alaska's top fishermen. 297 00:11:02,390 --> 00:11:04,427 Wolf, tell everybody the name of this boat. 298 00:11:04,494 --> 00:11:06,231 We're on The Mighty Kathleen. 299 00:11:06,298 --> 00:11:09,572 It was named after my mother, who actually left my dad. 300 00:11:09,638 --> 00:11:10,874 Yeah, great. Uh, Beef. 301 00:11:10,941 --> 00:11:14,347 What are we looking for in these waters? 302 00:11:14,414 --> 00:11:16,151 - Fish. - DORIS: Wait, wait. 303 00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:17,618 - The screen's just black. - (sighs) 304 00:11:17,654 --> 00:11:19,224 Damn it, Doris. Okay, let's cut. 305 00:11:19,290 --> 00:11:22,230 I'm exhausted. I don't think I slept a wink last night. 306 00:11:22,296 --> 00:11:24,500 Right? I was up all night with anticipation, too. 307 00:11:24,568 --> 00:11:27,841 But this is so cool. Us in front of the lens, catching fish. 308 00:11:27,908 --> 00:11:30,446 And Doris behind the scenes getting it all on tape. 309 00:11:30,513 --> 00:11:32,818 She's dropped the camera in the water three times. 310 00:11:32,885 --> 00:11:35,422 Guys, let's get a shot of Wolf using the trawler net 311 00:11:35,489 --> 00:11:36,759 to pull in some fish. 312 00:11:36,826 --> 00:11:38,061 Sweet. Action shot. 313 00:11:38,128 --> 00:11:39,965 Hang on. We don't actually have a license 314 00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:41,969 to do trawler fishing this time of year. 315 00:11:42,036 --> 00:11:43,181 Ah, it's fine. Who's gonna know? 316 00:11:43,205 --> 00:11:44,909 Come on, Dad, it's for the show. 317 00:11:44,975 --> 00:11:47,046 This is the wild. Wild man rules. 318 00:11:47,113 --> 00:11:49,083 - Tusk rules. - BEEF: On my boat, 319 00:11:49,150 --> 00:11:51,187 it's my rules. Beef rules. 320 00:11:51,254 --> 00:11:52,624 Uh, little help? 321 00:11:52,691 --> 00:11:55,229 - Wolf! - (whimpers) My body! 322 00:11:55,296 --> 00:11:57,768 (strains) Let go of the winch. 323 00:11:57,834 --> 00:12:00,372 - Wolf's gonna get hurt. - He's fine. 324 00:12:02,945 --> 00:12:05,082 - You okay, son? - Yeah, I'm okay. 325 00:12:05,149 --> 00:12:06,552 - Thanks, Dad. - Unbelievable. 326 00:12:06,619 --> 00:12:10,760 I know. We're actually gonna be on Tusk Johnson's show! 327 00:12:10,827 --> 00:12:11,827 TUSK: Ol' Beef. 328 00:12:11,862 --> 00:12:13,065 Hell of a day, huh? 329 00:12:13,131 --> 00:12:15,369 First, never refer to me as "Old Beef." 330 00:12:15,436 --> 00:12:17,340 Second, I think it's time for you to leave. 331 00:12:17,406 --> 00:12:19,587 Is this about me peeing with the toilet lid down last night? 332 00:12:19,611 --> 00:12:22,383 - 'Cause I apologized for that. - Who'd you apologize to? 333 00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,788 Eh, it's just an expression. What about the show? 334 00:12:24,855 --> 00:12:26,826 Tusk, be honest. There's no show. 335 00:12:26,892 --> 00:12:28,195 I mean, not on TV, 336 00:12:28,261 --> 00:12:30,032 but I'll probably put some stuff up online. 337 00:12:30,099 --> 00:12:31,468 Can I borrow your computer? 338 00:12:31,535 --> 00:12:33,405 I actually thought you were the real deal. 339 00:12:33,472 --> 00:12:36,011 But it's pretty clear to me now that the man I watched on TV 340 00:12:36,077 --> 00:12:38,215 all those years was just a fake. 341 00:12:38,281 --> 00:12:39,985 Wha... Where am I supposed to sleep? 342 00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:41,956 I don't know. But I just took out $300 343 00:12:42,023 --> 00:12:44,227 from my retirement fund, which means I'll now retire 344 00:12:44,293 --> 00:12:46,231 17 days later than I had planned. 345 00:12:46,297 --> 00:12:48,402 And that should be enough to get you out of here 346 00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:49,538 and away from Wolf. 347 00:12:49,605 --> 00:12:51,283 I'll give you a minute to say goodbye to him 348 00:12:51,307 --> 00:12:52,978 and get your things from the house. 349 00:12:53,045 --> 00:12:54,591 Yeah, yeah. Tell Wolf I said "later," and the only thing 350 00:12:54,615 --> 00:12:57,621 I left in your house was farts. You're welcome! 351 00:13:01,629 --> 00:13:03,441 Well, well, well, it's time for Dynasty and yet... 352 00:13:03,465 --> 00:13:04,802 (chuckles) I see no snacks. 353 00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:08,709 Remind me, whose turn was it to get snacks? 354 00:13:08,776 --> 00:13:10,489 You know damn well it was your turn, sister. 355 00:13:10,513 --> 00:13:12,383 He's right, Judy. You've betrayed this family 356 00:13:12,450 --> 00:13:15,489 - for the last time. - Guys, guys. Let's put the tape in. 357 00:13:15,557 --> 00:13:17,426 We're all just on edge because we don't know 358 00:13:17,493 --> 00:13:19,898 who survived the Moldavian wedding massacre yet. 359 00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:22,604 Hello, everyone. It's a lovely Lone Moose evening. 360 00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:23,973 What do you say we all go out 361 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:25,442 for a delicious meal as a family? 362 00:13:25,510 --> 00:13:28,148 Ugh, Dad, not right now. Season six is starting. 363 00:13:28,215 --> 00:13:30,219 Yeah, give us, like, 22 more hours. 364 00:13:30,285 --> 00:13:31,989 Hey, Dad, have you seen Tusk? 365 00:13:32,056 --> 00:13:33,225 I thought of a cool accent 366 00:13:33,291 --> 00:13:34,862 I could try out for my character. 367 00:13:34,928 --> 00:13:36,440 (Scottish accent): Woe betide you, lads. 368 00:13:36,464 --> 00:13:38,736 'Tis halibut in them there waters. 369 00:13:38,803 --> 00:13:41,007 Uh, actually, Tusk had to take off. 370 00:13:41,074 --> 00:13:42,276 He mentioned something 371 00:13:42,343 --> 00:13:44,080 about having to rush back to Hollywood? 372 00:13:44,147 --> 00:13:48,155 For a... w-what did he say? Big-time lunch of some sort. 373 00:13:48,221 --> 00:13:50,292 Really? He didn't even say goodbye. 374 00:13:50,359 --> 00:13:52,263 Father, brother, please, hush up. 375 00:13:52,329 --> 00:13:54,300 The Moldavian wedding massacre. 376 00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,437 You have some nerve coming here, Tabitha. 377 00:13:56,505 --> 00:13:58,351 - (all gasping) - HONEYBEE: Whose train is that? 378 00:13:58,375 --> 00:13:59,954 NARRATOR (over TV): And these massive trains 379 00:13:59,978 --> 00:14:02,249 carry goods and supplies throughout Alaska. 380 00:14:02,316 --> 00:14:04,788 The coal car. The well car. 381 00:14:04,855 --> 00:14:06,257 The tank car. 382 00:14:06,324 --> 00:14:08,896 Mr. Tobin, did you tape over season six of Dynasty 383 00:14:08,963 --> 00:14:10,232 or am I just going frickin' 384 00:14:10,299 --> 00:14:11,711 balls-to-the-walls bonkers over here? 385 00:14:11,735 --> 00:14:14,273 Ooh. Forgot I recorded this series on freight trains 386 00:14:14,340 --> 00:14:17,146 - of America two years ago. - So, Tusk just left? 387 00:14:17,213 --> 00:14:19,383 So there's no more Dynasty? 388 00:14:19,450 --> 00:14:22,591 NARRATOR: The wood chip car. The salt car. 389 00:14:22,657 --> 00:14:25,062 - The oil car. - Unbelievable. 390 00:14:25,128 --> 00:14:26,364 And the caboose. 391 00:14:26,431 --> 00:14:28,836 Well, let's go to this dumb dinner, then. 392 00:14:28,903 --> 00:14:30,239 You better lawyer up, Dad, 393 00:14:30,305 --> 00:14:34,447 'cause I'm gonna sue you into the ground for this. 394 00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:38,689 Cheer up, son. I see some Jumbo Gumbo 395 00:14:38,756 --> 00:14:40,492 on this menu with your name on it. 396 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:43,298 I really thought Tusk wanted me to be a part of the show. 397 00:14:43,365 --> 00:14:44,801 I'm sure you have other heroes. 398 00:14:44,868 --> 00:14:46,672 What about that Reginald VelJohnson? 399 00:14:46,739 --> 00:14:48,308 Are the kids still into him? 400 00:14:48,375 --> 00:14:50,489 I think I'm just gonna go outside and look at the stars 401 00:14:50,513 --> 00:14:51,815 and think about how Tusk 402 00:14:51,882 --> 00:14:55,723 is somewhere under those same stars. 403 00:14:57,627 --> 00:14:59,564 (sighs) Tusk. 404 00:14:59,631 --> 00:15:00,800 - What? - Aah! Tusk! 405 00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:03,305 - What are you doing here? - Oh, I stash my beers out here 406 00:15:03,371 --> 00:15:05,075 so I don't have to pay for them in the bar. 407 00:15:05,142 --> 00:15:06,302 - Want a pull? - Uh, I'm good. 408 00:15:06,344 --> 00:15:07,914 Dad said you went to Hollywood. 409 00:15:07,981 --> 00:15:10,218 - Yeah. Yeah, I bet he did. - W-What do you mean? 410 00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:11,798 Look I don't want to say bad things about your dad, 411 00:15:11,822 --> 00:15:14,795 but he wasn't too keen on you and me working together anymore, 412 00:15:14,861 --> 00:15:15,797 so he kicked me out. 413 00:15:15,863 --> 00:15:18,602 - Dad lied to me? - I think he was just jealous. 414 00:15:18,669 --> 00:15:22,076 He could tell I had my eye on you to be my number-one Dan. 415 00:15:22,142 --> 00:15:24,380 Whoa. What number was Dan? 416 00:15:24,447 --> 00:15:26,460 You know, I probably shouldn't even be talking to you. 417 00:15:26,484 --> 00:15:28,397 Plus, I got to focus on this top-secret adventure 418 00:15:28,421 --> 00:15:30,225 we're gonna shoot for the show tomorrow. 419 00:15:30,292 --> 00:15:32,162 I mean, I'd love to tell you what it is, 420 00:15:32,229 --> 00:15:34,300 but, you know, team members only. 421 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,104 Well, what if I want to be back on the team? 422 00:15:36,170 --> 00:15:38,475 - Oh, Your dad wouldn't go for that. - (scoffs) 423 00:15:38,542 --> 00:15:41,247 It's not up to my dad. I'm a grown son. 424 00:15:41,314 --> 00:15:43,084 Uh, g-give me one of those beers. 425 00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:45,489 - Ugh. - Oh, sorry, I was ashing in that one. 426 00:15:45,556 --> 00:15:47,660 (sighs) Real life is so boring. 427 00:15:47,727 --> 00:15:51,535 Where's the drama? Where are all the murders? 428 00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:54,407 (scoffs) Denver would eat these people alive. 429 00:15:54,473 --> 00:15:56,812 The Jumbo Gumbo's getting cold. Where's your brother? 430 00:15:56,879 --> 00:15:59,551 - You mean this brother, Father? - Wolf, honey, what's wrong? 431 00:15:59,618 --> 00:16:01,598 That's your "somebody ate the last Triscuit" stance. 432 00:16:01,622 --> 00:16:04,360 You're right, but this time it's not about Triscuits. 433 00:16:04,427 --> 00:16:06,832 It's about Dad covering up the truth-scuits. 434 00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:09,437 It was you who told Tusk to leave! 435 00:16:09,504 --> 00:16:10,673 - (gasping) - No. 436 00:16:10,740 --> 00:16:13,579 I did. He's a reckless fraud and a bad influence. 437 00:16:13,646 --> 00:16:15,115 Not to mention uncouth. 438 00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:18,121 Well, I can monitor couth levels on my own from now on. 439 00:16:18,188 --> 00:16:19,399 Tell him he's out of the will, Dad. 440 00:16:19,423 --> 00:16:20,927 I was trying to protect you. 441 00:16:20,993 --> 00:16:24,601 Protect me? You're just jealous because Tusk liked me better. 442 00:16:24,668 --> 00:16:25,970 I was his number-one Dan. 443 00:16:26,037 --> 00:16:29,143 (gasps) Dad and Wolf fighting over Tusk? 444 00:16:29,210 --> 00:16:31,147 (chuckles) This is Alexis and Krystle 445 00:16:31,214 --> 00:16:32,984 at the cotillion all over again. 446 00:16:33,051 --> 00:16:34,921 Son, I don't expect you to understand. 447 00:16:34,988 --> 00:16:36,290 Oh, I understand. 448 00:16:36,357 --> 00:16:38,027 I understand that you hate that I beat you 449 00:16:38,094 --> 00:16:39,497 in the outdoor competition. 450 00:16:39,564 --> 00:16:40,867 Wolf, I let you win. 451 00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:41,702 (all gasping) 452 00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:43,338 God, I wish Dad was wearing pearls 453 00:16:43,404 --> 00:16:45,008 so Wolf could tear them off his neck. 454 00:16:45,075 --> 00:16:47,747 You wanted a truth-scuit, you got a truth-scuit! 455 00:16:47,814 --> 00:16:49,718 No. No. That's bull-scuit! 456 00:16:49,784 --> 00:16:52,389 He's gonna do it. This guy's about to storm out. 457 00:16:52,456 --> 00:16:55,228 - (applause) - Oh wait, that was real. 458 00:16:55,295 --> 00:16:57,466 I better go after him. 459 00:16:59,403 --> 00:17:00,940 - Morning, Beef. - Good morning. 460 00:17:01,007 --> 00:17:02,944 Um, would you mind getting Wolf for me? 461 00:17:03,011 --> 00:17:04,814 Sorry, but he left pretty early with Tusk. 462 00:17:04,881 --> 00:17:07,319 With Tusk? Honeybee, I need you to tell me where they went. 463 00:17:07,386 --> 00:17:09,256 Tusk is a very dangerous person. 464 00:17:09,323 --> 00:17:10,560 I'm sure Wolf is fine. 465 00:17:10,626 --> 00:17:12,138 He just said they were going to get some eggs. 466 00:17:12,162 --> 00:17:13,933 Eggs? No. No, no, no, no, no! 467 00:17:13,999 --> 00:17:15,903 Uh oh, did you two have breakfast plans? 468 00:17:15,970 --> 00:17:17,507 He can eat twice! 469 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:24,453 So, you actually saw the mother eagle get attacked by a bear? 470 00:17:24,521 --> 00:17:26,858 Yeah, I chased him off, but the damage had been done. 471 00:17:26,925 --> 00:17:29,330 Now there's no one left to take care of those eggs. 472 00:17:29,396 --> 00:17:31,500 Little golden orphans. 473 00:17:31,568 --> 00:17:33,104 So somebody's got to protect them. 474 00:17:33,171 --> 00:17:34,884 Like when Dan and I rescued that baby wolverine. 475 00:17:34,908 --> 00:17:36,210 - Remember that? - Of course. 476 00:17:36,277 --> 00:17:37,714 I remember everything about Dan. 477 00:17:37,780 --> 00:17:40,620 - Five, ten. Gemini. - Buddy, if you pull this off, 478 00:17:40,686 --> 00:17:42,890 no one will even remember who Dan was. 479 00:17:42,957 --> 00:17:44,326 All right, Doris, start the camera. 480 00:17:44,393 --> 00:17:45,596 Should the log be this wobbly? 481 00:17:45,663 --> 00:17:47,008 Oh, yeah, yeah. You want it wobbly. 482 00:17:47,032 --> 00:17:48,368 If it's too rigid it could break. 483 00:17:48,434 --> 00:17:50,038 Okay, three, two, one. Tusketeers, 484 00:17:50,105 --> 00:17:54,380 meet my new Dan, Wolf Tobin, who's about to cross this log 485 00:17:54,446 --> 00:17:56,518 to rescue some sweet little golden eagle eggs 486 00:17:56,585 --> 00:17:57,419 from predators. 487 00:17:57,486 --> 00:17:58,889 - You ready, Wolf? - Oh, uh, 488 00:17:58,956 --> 00:18:00,726 - you're not coming with me? - Oh, no. 489 00:18:00,793 --> 00:18:03,431 I'm gonna be here, helping the car brace the log. 490 00:18:03,498 --> 00:18:04,844 (whispers): I don't want to upstage you, pal. 491 00:18:04,868 --> 00:18:06,872 - This is your big moment. - Oh, thank you so much. 492 00:18:06,938 --> 00:18:08,474 Go get 'em, Wolf. 493 00:18:09,978 --> 00:18:11,915 Hey, Tusk? I'm thinking maybe this isn't 494 00:18:11,982 --> 00:18:14,353 - (car door closes) Okay, never mind. 495 00:18:14,420 --> 00:18:16,323 Who's the Dan? You're the Dan. 496 00:18:16,390 --> 00:18:18,829 Who's the Dan? You're the Dan... 497 00:18:18,896 --> 00:18:20,900 - Aah! - Doing great, buddy! 498 00:18:20,966 --> 00:18:22,503 Keep going! 499 00:18:25,643 --> 00:18:26,978 Where's Wolf and Tusk? 500 00:18:27,045 --> 00:18:29,584 I'm fine, thank you. But things are a bit of a mess up there. 501 00:18:29,651 --> 00:18:32,523 - What do you mean, "a mess"? - Well, Tusk is pretty drunk, 502 00:18:32,590 --> 00:18:34,150 and Wolf's about to plummet to his death 503 00:18:34,193 --> 00:18:36,598 and I couldn't get any service on my cell phone. 504 00:18:36,665 --> 00:18:37,399 Get in! 505 00:18:37,466 --> 00:18:38,569 Oh, man, this was dumb. 506 00:18:38,635 --> 00:18:40,105 The only TV show I'm gonna be on now 507 00:18:40,171 --> 00:18:42,543 is Dumb Guys who Died Dumb. 508 00:18:43,812 --> 00:18:46,718 Wolf, I'm here. What's the status on that log, buddy? 509 00:18:46,785 --> 00:18:47,920 Well, Dad, it's not good. 510 00:18:47,987 --> 00:18:49,389 It seems like if I move at all, 511 00:18:49,456 --> 00:18:51,056 this log is gonna fall into the crevasse. 512 00:18:51,093 --> 00:18:52,663 But if I don't move at all, this log 513 00:18:52,730 --> 00:18:54,701 is also gonna fall into the crevasse. 514 00:18:54,768 --> 00:18:56,448 And Tusk, well, he's passed out in the Kia, 515 00:18:56,505 --> 00:18:59,176 which is good, because I think if he wakes up and moves at all, 516 00:18:59,243 --> 00:19:01,447 this log is gonna fall into the crevasse. 517 00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:02,760 Okay, here's what we're gonna do: 518 00:19:02,784 --> 00:19:04,721 I'm attaching one end of this rope to the van. 519 00:19:04,788 --> 00:19:07,192 I'm gonna toss you the other end. Tie it around yourself. 520 00:19:07,259 --> 00:19:09,496 That way, even if the log falls into the crevasse 521 00:19:09,564 --> 00:19:11,902 which seems inevitable, based on your calculations 522 00:19:11,968 --> 00:19:13,906 - you won't go with it. - Hey, Dad? 523 00:19:13,972 --> 00:19:15,810 Don't talk, Wolf. Don't even move. 524 00:19:15,876 --> 00:19:17,790 But I just want to say I'm sorry. You were right. 525 00:19:17,814 --> 00:19:20,418 Tusk is a fraud and a thief and a user. 526 00:19:20,485 --> 00:19:21,988 And, frankly, he's uncouth as hell. 527 00:19:22,055 --> 00:19:23,826 Don't worry about any of that, son. 528 00:19:23,892 --> 00:19:26,339 - Here comes the rope. - Yeah, I should have known he was using me. 529 00:19:26,363 --> 00:19:28,034 I'm nobody special. 530 00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:31,473 I just wanted to believe that he was as cool as he was on TV. 531 00:19:31,541 --> 00:19:33,177 I mean, it was Tusk Johnson... Oh! 532 00:19:33,244 --> 00:19:34,623 - Oh, God! Oh, the log is moving! - Oh, God! Wolf! 533 00:19:34,647 --> 00:19:36,217 The log is moving! The log is moving! 534 00:19:36,283 --> 00:19:38,230 - Aah! - Please tell me the rope is over your body. 535 00:19:38,254 --> 00:19:40,659 Almost. Also, all the blood's rushing to my butt 536 00:19:40,726 --> 00:19:41,761 and it feels crazy. 537 00:19:41,828 --> 00:19:43,732 My point is I-I should have listened to you, 538 00:19:43,799 --> 00:19:45,736 but I was being a real Hollywood Hank, 539 00:19:45,803 --> 00:19:47,540 and now I'm up here stuck on a log, 540 00:19:47,607 --> 00:19:49,677 hanging upside down over a crevasse. 541 00:19:49,744 --> 00:19:51,046 So, I'm sorry. 542 00:19:51,113 --> 00:19:53,417 And I love you. And I... Aah! 543 00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:56,825 - Wolf! - Well, hell. 544 00:19:56,892 --> 00:19:59,463 - Hey, Dad. - Hey, Wolf. 545 00:19:59,530 --> 00:20:01,433 I think I hit my penis pretty bad. 546 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,805 But other than that, I'm okay. 547 00:20:03,872 --> 00:20:06,110 You know, Dad, I don't want to be mean, 548 00:20:06,176 --> 00:20:08,882 but I don't think The Alaskan Adventures of Tusk Johnson 549 00:20:08,949 --> 00:20:10,218 is my favorite show anymore. 550 00:20:10,285 --> 00:20:13,692 Wait, this guy had a TV show? I thought he was making that up. 551 00:20:13,759 --> 00:20:16,665 About what you said up there about not being special: 552 00:20:16,731 --> 00:20:19,436 Wolf, you're one of the most special people I know. 553 00:20:19,504 --> 00:20:21,864 You've got a kind heart and you think the best of everybody, 554 00:20:21,908 --> 00:20:25,281 even when they sometimes turn out to be absolute bull-scuit. 555 00:20:25,348 --> 00:20:27,620 Thanks, Dad. You know what else I'm thinking? 556 00:20:27,687 --> 00:20:29,824 I don't think Dan stole the show from Tusk. 557 00:20:29,891 --> 00:20:32,429 - I think, uh... - Oh, no, Dan's definitely dead. 558 00:20:32,495 --> 00:20:33,999 Yeah, he's definitely dead. 559 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,268 BEEF: All right, Tobins, 560 00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:36,335 who's ready for another 561 00:20:36,370 --> 00:20:37,907 Tobin Family Film Friday? 562 00:20:37,974 --> 00:20:39,544 Oh, and what is this? 563 00:20:39,610 --> 00:20:42,048 (gasps) Dad? No way. 564 00:20:42,115 --> 00:20:44,186 Dynasty season six? 565 00:20:44,252 --> 00:20:45,923 Six through nine. 566 00:20:45,990 --> 00:20:47,225 Dad, I love you again. 567 00:20:47,292 --> 00:20:49,196 FYI, babe, we're honeymooning in Denver. 568 00:20:49,262 --> 00:20:51,868 Sweet! I hear it's a very bikeable city. 569 00:20:51,935 --> 00:20:53,037 Perfect for lovers. 570 00:20:53,104 --> 00:20:54,874 I don't think I'll be taken in by Dynasty 571 00:20:54,941 --> 00:20:56,778 the way the rest of you were, but... 572 00:20:56,845 --> 00:20:58,615 Oh, my word, who is that gentleman? 573 00:20:58,682 --> 00:21:00,552 And what a handsome bank. 574 00:21:00,619 --> 00:21:04,326 ♪ He lives in the woods and survives on the land ♪ 575 00:21:04,393 --> 00:21:08,100 ♪ He never met a beast that he couldn't tame ♪ 576 00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:12,510 ♪ He'll take down a bear, fight a wolf in his lair ♪ 577 00:21:12,576 --> 00:21:16,450 ♪ If you live in the wild then you know his name ♪ 578 00:21:16,518 --> 00:21:21,126 ♪ It's Tusk Johnson, mountain man ♪ 579 00:21:21,193 --> 00:21:24,767 ♪ Living in the woods just because he can ♪ 580 00:21:24,834 --> 00:21:28,942 ♪ It's Tusk Johnson, mountain man ♪ 581 00:21:29,009 --> 00:21:31,714 ♪ Did we mention that Tusk has a sidekick, Dan. ♪ 582 00:21:31,781 --> 00:21:33,785 Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT 583 00:21:33,852 --> 00:21:36,156 and TOYOTA.