1
00:00:01,280 --> 00:00:05,592
<i>what is Friendface? Friendface
is a great new site for meeting people.</i>

2
00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:10,669
<i>How does it work? Friendface works along the
same principle as a cold or a terrible plague,</i>

3
00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:14,588
<i>but it's not disgusting germs
that Friendface spreads, it's friendship.</i>

4
00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:18,554
<i>Each Friendface page is like a Petri dish
filled with friendship germs.</i>

5
00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:20,272
<i>when you stick your face in,</i>

6
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:24,154
<i>you may come away with millions of people
attached to your face!</i>

7
00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:27,556
<i>That's right, it's basically
a diseased face of friendship!</i>

8
00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:31,958
<i>Just sign up with Friendface
by giving us all of your personal information,</i>

9
00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:36,039
<i>and we'll provide a web page where you can
meet new friends, catch up with old ones,</i>

10
00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:38,276
<i>and maybe find that special someone.</i>

11
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:41,119
<i>Don't think about germs now -
that analogy's over.</i>

12
00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:44,915
<i>Now it's just love and companionship,
and everything's fine.</i>

13
00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:48,953
<i>we own everything you put on Friendface -
it says so in the terms and agreements.</i>

14
00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:52,390
<i>But don't worry, we won't use it
to do anything bad, we promise.</i>

15
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:56,149
<i>Just think about love and companionship
and everything's fine.</i>

16
00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:59,158
<i>Friendface. Friendface.
Friendface.</i>

17
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:34,873
Can you two not use my email address
any more, please? I've got a new one.

18
00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:39,593
Jennywenny@Friendface? Oh, you've not
signed up with Friendface, have you?

19
00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:41,995
Yes, I have, actually.
Why not? It's great.

20
00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:44,759
I joined last night
and I've already got 30 friends.

21
00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:50,557
Baaaa! Yes, let's all join Friendface
and become part of the herd! I don't think so.

22
00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:52,750
Why not? They're terrific!

23
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:56,111
You can catch up on old friends,
you can flirt with people...

24
00:01:56,240 --> 00:02:01,519
I've got better things to do than to talk
to friends and flirt with people, thank you.

25
00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:04,200
You can play Scrabble online with it...

26
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:08,598
It's just another way of shoving advertising
in your face. You'll regret it.

27
00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:12,429
It might be a great way to meet women.
All the girls on 7 are on it.

28
00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:14,471
- I'm in!
- What?

29
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,875
- I've joined.
- That was quick!

30
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:20,117
It was what you said about Scrabble.
I'm in a game now.

31
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:21,229
- I'm in!
- What?

32
00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:23,510
- I've joined!
- What about the advertising?

33
00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:27,030
Oh, advertising doesn't have any effect on me,
Jen. I tune it out.

34
00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:29,913
- So, the girls on 7, Kimberley, she's on this?
- Uh-huh.

35
00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:33,715
Oh, cool, look! They've got
this great little game on their home page.

36
00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:37,276
You have to throw a little can of cola
into a giant mouth.

37
00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:40,597
That's brilliant.
God, I'm so thirsty.

38
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,029
<i>I've got to have a word with you...</i>

39
00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:05,072
- Hang on.
- You know, you can change your settings

40
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:08,237
so you don't get that annoying bleep
with every message.

41
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:10,828
<i>Incoming message!</i>

42
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,477
Sorry, that's me.

43
00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:15,871
<i>I just have to tell you...</i>

44
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,558
Oh, hang on.

45
00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:19,716
Open a chat window
and we can talk in it.

46
00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:24,675
- How do I do that?
- Press the speech bubble in the left corner.

47
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:29,915
Yes!

48
00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:38,680
Oh, yeah, but don't forget, if...

49
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:43,874
- What are you like?!
- If I might interject.

50
00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:50,510
- That's hilarious!
- Oh, Moss!

51
00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:53,438
That was a classic Moss line.

52
00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:05,994
I love this.
I feel so social.

53
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:12,276
Jen, I'm going home now.
It's nearly 7:30.

54
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:16,029
Just answering all my messages.
They piled up while we were chatting.

55
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:19,391
So many people I don't care about
getting back in touch.

56
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:24,640
Oh, there's another one. And I'm getting into
online games - you know, real brain-teasers.

57
00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:28,116
And I'm filling out a form
on how much I love Cuke. Have you tried it?

58
00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:32,392
Cuke? Yeah! I love Cuke.
It's heaven in a can.

59
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:39,239
Anyway, I'm going to head, all right?
Jen, don't get too obsessed by that.

60
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:41,794
No, I won't. Bye, Moss.

61
00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,474
<i>Oh, someone's added me as their friend.</i>

62
00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:51,989
I went to school with her.
Wonder how she's doing?

63
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:53,792
Oh, not very well. That's good.

64
00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:16,069
<i>- Incoming message!
- Jesus Christ!</i>

65
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,475
<i>I mean, Jesus Christ?</i>

66
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:22,229
Oh, God. Oh God, oh God, oh God. Oh, God!

67
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:25,272
Excuse me, some of us
are trying to sleep round here.

68
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,870
This woman that I went out with once
wants to meet up again.

69
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:32,595
I thought I'd got rid of her,
but, oh no, she found me on Friendface.

70
00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:36,713
Now I'll have to spend all afternoon
making up lies to get rid of her again.

71
00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:41,118
Oh, I think that is very mean.
If it were me, I would like to know the truth.

72
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:44,994
- That you wear way too much makeup?
- I do not!

73
00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:48,556
That's a horrible thing to say!
How dare you!

74
00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:50,432
Not you, Jen. This girl.

75
00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:53,358
- Oh, does she?
- Big time.

76
00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:57,431
- Did you sleep with her?
- No.

77
00:05:57,560 --> 00:06:02,350
It wasn't my fault! I got really drunk
to try and make the evening pass quicker,

78
00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:05,074
then by the end of it
the makeup started to work for me.

79
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,349
Oh, please!

80
00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:10,871
I'm not proud of it. It's not going on my CV.
But every man has a story like this.

81
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:15,198
- This is not your first story like this.
- Every man has a few stories like this.

82
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:19,154
Oh, no, it's all coming back to me now.
She used to slap it on with a trowel.

83
00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:23,671
God, why don't women have the confidence
to know that less is more?

84
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:28,032
Then, when she started crying
it all ran down her face.

85
00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:31,152
It was like breaking up with the Joker.

86
00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:34,317
Hang on - she was that upset,
she was crying?

87
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:38,194
- What? No...
- It sounds like you really hurt her feelings.

88
00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:41,392
The least you can do is tell her the truth.
Be a man, for God's sake.

89
00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:45,752
Whoa, don't... Hey, I am a man.
I will tell her. I will email her.

90
00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:48,952
- No, you have to tell her face to face.
- The hell I do.

91
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,958
This is a fragile young woman.
What if she reacts badly?

92
00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:54,071
That's why I'm doing it on email.

93
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:57,988
No, you have to tell her the truth
and you have to do it face to face.

94
00:06:58,120 --> 00:06:59,314
Do I?

95
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:01,874
My mum's on Friendface! My mum!

96
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,639
I have another channel of communication
with my mum!

97
00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:07,194
- Isn't that good?
- No, it is not good.

98
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:10,278
She's put down
her current mood as "sensual".

99
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:15,830
Why did you accept her as a friend?

100
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:19,999
What are you, an animal? I can't turn down
a friend request from my mum.

101
00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:23,396
<i>- Message for me.
- Oh...</i>

102
00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:28,398
<i>I am eating my apple, Mum!</i>

103
00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:33,789
She packed me an apple this morning
and it's the issue of the day.

104
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,832
I have to go.
I'm meeting an old school friend for lunch.

105
00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:40,475
Isn't it great the way Friendface
brings people together?

106
00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:50,676
Nanny's chasing the dog,
the kids are screaming, absolute bedlam,

107
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:55,032
and here's me running out of the house to go
to a meeting with the major shareholders.

108
00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:59,631
- My life is an absolute nightmare.
- Yes... Yes, mine too.

109
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,789
So, the other girls,
what are they doing?

110
00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,593
Elaine is head of marketing
at Dennis Publishing.

111
00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:08,314
<i>- She's married to the editor of Esquire.
- Is she?</i>

112
00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:11,193
Veronica's an A and R with Arista.

113
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:14,676
Her big embarrassing story
is she passed on Arctic Monkeys.

114
00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:15,994
Idiot.

115
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:19,874
Jilly is an architect,
designing a new wing on the Tate.

116
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:24,278
Jilly? Jilly Spencer?
She used to eat the wood on her desk.

117
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:27,039
- I always thought she was slow.
- No, she's a genius.

118
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:30,835
- Wow. Everybody's doing great.
- Yeah.

119
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:34,555
So, what about you, Jen?
What are you up to?

120
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:37,319
- What am I up to?
- Yeah.

121
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:40,989
- Oh, God, I hope that's not a rude question.
- No, no, no, no.

122
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:44,078
It'd be awful
if I just listed all our successful friends

123
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,590
and you were stuck
in some terrible, dead-end job you hated.

124
00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:54,558
God, yeah, that would be an absolute fucker.
No, no, I'm head of IT at Reynholm Industries.

125
00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:58,195
Ohh! I didn't know
you were interested in computers.

126
00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,993
"Interested" is not the word.

127
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:03,759
<i>Sorry.</i>

128
00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:07,910
Hi, babe.

129
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:13,109
- You didn't have to call just to tell me that.
- Aw.

130
00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:16,550
No! I can't, I'm in public.

131
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,873
<i>Stop it!</i>

132
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:22,560
Yeah, of course I'm wearing them.

133
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,795
<i>I'll have another one, please.</i>

134
00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:41,028
- Hi, Roy.
- Hiya.

135
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:44,232
Roy, do you have any...

136
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,231
attractive, successful-looking friends?

137
00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:50,952
No!

138
00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:55,194
- What, none at all?
- No.

139
00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,750
<i>Oh, God.
Well, maybe you could help me, then.</i>

140
00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:03,952
Wow. That's flattering.
Are you pissed?

141
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:05,638
A little bit.

142
00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:09,355
Could you come to a school reunion with me
and pretend you're my husband?

143
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:13,632
Do you really think you can quiz me
for a better option and think I'll still say yes?

144
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,833
- I'll give you £50.
- When is it?

145
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:21,317
Tomorrow night.
I sort of bigged myself up to this girl.

146
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:25,672
She never had much time for me and
I wanted to impress her, so I need a husband.

147
00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:31,158
Yeah, I can't, because tomorrow night
I'm spending the evening with the Joker.

148
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:35,353
I'm going to do what you said -
tell her I'm just not interested in her.

149
00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:38,552
Ooh, you're not actually
going to do that face to face?

150
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:44,754
- You told me to!
- Well, aren't you worried she'll go mad?

151
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,476
I'm very worried about that!

152
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:51,036
Oh, you...
Oh, you are a f... Oh...!

153
00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:54,391
- I'm going to cancel.
- No, no, you can't cancel, not now.

154
00:10:57,640 --> 00:11:02,350
- Who am I going to ask, then?
- Who are you going to ask what?

155
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:03,915
Nothing.

156
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:09,273
The queen of honesty here needs
a pretend husband for her school reunion.

157
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,549
When is it?

158
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:24,552
- So, you remember what to do?
- Big you up to the max.

159
00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:27,035
- By?
- Listing your fictional achievements.

160
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:28,229
Uh-huh. And?

161
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:33,275
Saying how lucky I am to have met you
and talking about our sweet sex life.

162
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:36,073
Maybe not the last one.
We don't want to sound too smug.

163
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:41,035
Hey, if I'm pretending to be married,
I'm pretending to be sexually active.

164
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:45,874
Don't worry, Jen, I plan on earning this £10.

165
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:49,477
Five now, five later. OK.

166
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:57,516
And I will have a Bacardi and Cuke.
Thank you.

167
00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:02,508
So, how are you?

168
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,596
I'm fine.

169
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:08,272
It was great seeing your profile
pop up on Friendface -

170
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:11,198
gave me a great excuse to get back in touch.

171
00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:15,757
Yeah... That's the brilliant thing
about that bloody website.

172
00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:19,757
- And how are you?
- I'm great. I am great.

173
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:23,714
Yeah, I'm glad that we got together,
Alison, because, erm...

174
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:27,071
It's only fair that I be
completely honest with you. The truth is...

175
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:30,556
- Do you mind if I say something first?
- Er, OK.

176
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:36,357
I've never been very good with words,
so I wrote it down and it turned into a poem.

177
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:42,112
I'm sorry, are you going to read a poem now?
Is that what's actually going to happen?

178
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:45,869
- Yeah, is that all right?
- Wouldn't you prefer to text it to me?

179
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,230
It's a bit long for that.

180
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:50,157
Okey-dokey.

181
00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:52,555
"Oh, gentle Irish eyes...

182
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:56,391
<i>".. tousled brown hair...</i>

183
00:12:57,120 --> 00:13:00,476
smile as big as my favourite teddy bear. "

184
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:04,309
That's a bit corny -
I might take it out or I might leave it in.

185
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:08,319
"Without you... I am just a husk. "

186
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:10,271
Er... erm... A husk?

187
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:13,233
- Yeah.
- Uh-huh.

188
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:18,994
"Without you, I am just a husk,
A dead thing.

189
00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:24,399
My new best friend is a razor, a rope,
A noose to swing... in.

190
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:31,637
Without you, the sweet release of death
Would be all that could give me hope.

191
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:37,917
When I see your face on my computer...

192
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:40,796
I don't just see you...

193
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:43,755
I see our future. "

194
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:52,239
Oh, it's, er... Ohhhhh...

195
00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:03,680
<i>.. which is how my sexy wife became the first
ginger woman on the cover of Newsweek.</i>

196
00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:06,517
That is wow!

197
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:11,031
Just when I think I've heard every story that
puts Jen in a good light, you have another.

198
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:14,516
Yes, and they're beginning to sound
a little bit unbelievable.

199
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:18,633
Oh, I can't help it.
I love this well-travelled high-earner.

200
00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:23,754
A woman in the living room, a chef
in the kitchen, a prostitute in the bedroom.

201
00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:26,351
Ow!

202
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:31,588
Jen, why don't you tell them all
about your bionic arm?

203
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:38,591
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I could do.
Or... or we could talk about something else.

204
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:41,473
Yeah, we've heard enough stories about Jen.

205
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,160
We want to hear about the guy
that tamed her heart.

206
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:46,271
Yeah. What do you do, Moss?

207
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,517
I'm a professional tennis player.

208
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:55,394
He doesn't like
talking about it, though, so...

209
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,238
I do.

210
00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:59,749
<i>- Where do you play?
- Where don't I play!</i>

211
00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:02,678
- Wimbledon?
- I don't play there.

212
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:07,715
- Are you seeded, Moss?
- Bit of a personal question, Terry.

213
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:13,278
But, yes, I'm highly seeded. We have
two lovely children, Zenith and Quasar.

214
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:16,039
I... I love... I love this song.

215
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:19,835
Let's all stop talking
and dance to this song.

216
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:29,673
Come on. Let's dance!

217
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:38,953
Her name is Jen.
Er, she's a work colleague.

218
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:44,154
We've been seeing each other for some time.

219
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:46,510
I love her. I love that woman.

220
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:50,913
- Do you have a picture of her?
- A picture of her? No.

221
00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:53,190
What, not even on your phone?

222
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:57,950
No. It never occurred to me to take a picture
of her because I see her all the time.

223
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,435
You just don't want me!

224
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:06,271
I do, I do... It's... Why wouldn't I want you?
No, it's just... it's this girl.

225
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:11,713
- There is no girl.
- There is! It's a real girl.

226
00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,956
Look, could you just stop crying?

227
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:17,914
No. I'm never going to stop crying!

228
00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:20,679
Do you want to meet her?
We can meet her.

229
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:24,713
- What, really?
- Yeah, let's go and meet Jen.

230
00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,752
Will that make you a little less mad?

231
00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:35,713
Tough, though,
the whole marriage thing.

232
00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:41,472
Terry, it's as tough as a cow's back.
But you know what takes the edge off for me?

233
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:47,038
Regular, uninhibited, exploratory sex
with a partner who's even wilder than I am.

234
00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:50,470
Yup, that's Jen.
She may look like a ginger angel,

235
00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:54,479
but get her behind closed doors
and she turns into Peter Stringfellow.

236
00:16:54,600 --> 00:17:00,118
God, I envy you. These days
Delina hardly ever lets me, you know, do it.

237
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:03,391
Ah, I'm on Jen at least four times a day.

238
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:07,596
As I've already said,
I am fully seeded.

239
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:13,315
- You've got it really sorted out, haven't you?
- Yeah. It's very surprising, isn't it?

240
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,749
No offence, Jen, but I've got to admit

241
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:20,510
I always thought you'd be the one
whose life just went completely off the rails.

242
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:24,679
You always seemed to attract such chaos
at school, but look at you now.

243
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:27,360
Delina, can we be best friends?

244
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:32,953
To tell you the truth, I think Delina
might be sleeping with someone else.

245
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,557
No, she's just over there.

246
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,478
- I mean, this is just between ourselves.
- Of course.

247
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:43,390
There are little clues here and there,
things only a husband would pick up.

248
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:46,671
Like, someone wrote a message
on her Friendface wall,

249
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:50,634
read: "Can't wait
to shag your arse off again soon. "

250
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:55,435
I don't know,
maybe I'm reading too much into it.

251
00:17:55,560 --> 00:18:00,475
<i>Still, if I ever found out
who that person was...</i>

252
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:05,071
Agh! It's a pickle, Terry. Awh!
Women! Agh!

253
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:10,797
If I had a pound
for every bloody woman... Arh!

254
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,434
I hear ya.

255
00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:19,477
- Hi there, Jen.
- What are you doing here?

256
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,876
I saw on your profile
that you were having a party.

257
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,434
That's the great thing about Friendface -

258
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:30,350
I get to see what all my employees are doing,
all the time.

259
00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:37,554
Come on, be game.

260
00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:45,909
Ah, there she is. There's Jen!

261
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:49,032
Jen, I will help you out,
but I need you to play along with me.

262
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:52,516
<i>This is Alison.</i>

263
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:54,676
She's that friend I told you about.

264
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:58,679
And this, this is Jen,
the woman I love.

265
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,036
What's going on here?

266
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:06,551
- What are you doing here?
- Enjoying an evening out with my woman.

267
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,432
What?

268
00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:11,389
Jen, who is this joker?

269
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:13,670
No offence.

270
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:18,272
OK, what the hell is going on here?

271
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,233
Moss is my husband, Roy.

272
00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:26,239
But you said you wanted me.
She really did.

273
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:32,279
It's true, I did want you. At one point
you were the one that I wanted.

274
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:35,437
But then you left. You left, Roy.

275
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:39,792
And so I turned to Moss.
And Moss was there for me, Roy.

276
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:44,152
Moss was there for me
in a way that you were not,

277
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:47,909
and now we're together,
and that's all that matters.

278
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:51,871
I don't know.

279
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:55,479
- What?
- I don't know, Jen.

280
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,320
I love you, God knows I do.

281
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,591
Your sweet abandon in bed,
your humanitarian work,

282
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:07,271
and you've given me
two wonderful children in Zenith and Quasar.

283
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:10,472
But it sounds
like you still have feelings for this young man,

284
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,398
and I'm not sure I can handle that.
I'm not sure at all!

285
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:16,432
I don't. I don't.
I don't have feelings for this man.

286
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,199
- Yes, you do!
- Oh...

287
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:26,158
Admit it, Jen! Admit that you have feelings
for me, loudly, here, in front of Alison.

288
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:30,671
No, I don't.
He means nothing to me, Delina.

289
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:35,876
Well, you moved on quickly, you bitch!

290
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:46,390
How dare you call my sexy wife a bitch!

291
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:53,071
- Do you want to take this outside?
- With pleasure, sir.

292
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:56,272
I will just get some of my coats.

293
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,511
Excuse me, Alison.

294
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:06,468
- What now?
- Hadn't really thought this far.

295
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:24,159
I'll just go and see how they are.

296
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:32,839
Oh, those bloody bastards!

297
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:43,556
Well, lovely to see Jen!

298
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,952
See her? I'm shagging her.

299
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:50,469
Grrrr...

300
00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:00,235
Well, hello there, beautiful.