1
00:00:03,078 --> 00:00:04,795
♪
2
00:00:06,732 --> 00:00:08,801
YOUNG GRAMPA: Homer,
get your lazy butt out of bed!
3
00:00:08,825 --> 00:00:10,083
You're gonna be late for work!
4
00:00:10,236 --> 00:00:13,012
(whoops) Going to work!
5
00:00:13,163 --> 00:00:15,931
(early-'90s hip-hop playing)
6
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:23,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
7
00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:27,504
Hey, what's the haps,
pop-diggity?
8
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,368
D'oh! What's wrong with you?
9
00:00:29,438 --> 00:00:32,756
Can't you talk like
a normal 55-year-old man?
10
00:00:32,816 --> 00:00:35,108
You'll never understand
hip-hop, Dad.
11
00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:37,052
I understand plenty.
12
00:00:37,112 --> 00:00:38,945
You're wasting your life
13
00:00:39,098 --> 00:00:41,184
trying to be
some kind of "d'jay."
14
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:42,708
It's DJ, dad.
15
00:00:42,859 --> 00:00:44,951
You'll see,
I'm gonna have my moment.
16
00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:47,362
Check your watch...
It's Homer Time!
17
00:00:47,531 --> 00:00:49,606
- (grunting)
- (sneakers squeaking)
18
00:00:49,775 --> 00:00:51,291
Where you going, Homer?
19
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,260
To my happy place.
20
00:00:58,875 --> 00:01:01,112
All right team, the word
of the day is "upsell."
21
00:01:01,136 --> 00:01:04,063
Every medium pizza
should be extra-large
22
00:01:04,214 --> 00:01:06,565
and every thin-crust
should be deep dish.
23
00:01:06,792 --> 00:01:08,734
Mozzarella is money.
24
00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:11,737
Do I make myself as clear
as this Crystal Pepsi?
25
00:01:11,964 --> 00:01:12,964
Ah.
26
00:01:13,132 --> 00:01:14,959
Ah, pointless.
27
00:01:14,983 --> 00:01:16,909
Okay, everyone, it's showtime.
28
00:01:17,136 --> 00:01:19,661
Homer, plug in the band.
29
00:01:21,082 --> 00:01:22,656
What's up, party people?
30
00:01:22,825 --> 00:01:24,583
Put your greasy hands together
31
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:28,462
for the Razzle Dazzle
Rockin' Rollin' Revue!
32
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(gears clanking)
33
00:01:33,168 --> 00:01:36,095
♪ A-one, two, three o'clock,
four o'clock, pizza ♪
34
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,672
♪ A-five, six, seven o'clock,
eight o'clock, pizza ♪
35
00:01:38,841 --> 00:01:41,745
♪ We're gonna pizza
around the pizza tonight ♪
36
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,060
♪ ♪
37
00:01:47,833 --> 00:01:49,666
♪ We're gonna pizza around ♪
38
00:01:49,759 --> 00:01:53,654
♪ The pizza tonight. ♪
39
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,954
Oh, listen
to that applause, Wakkety.
40
00:02:02,123 --> 00:02:04,676
Those kids love pizza rock!
41
00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:06,792
You suck, Yak.
42
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:11,463
Kids, I tell you,
our pizza can't be beat.
43
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:15,278
Pizza can't... I... beat kids...
44
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:18,028
I beat kids. I beat kids.
45
00:02:18,197 --> 00:02:19,805
(all screaming)
46
00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:21,509
That robot's
threatening the kids.
47
00:02:21,533 --> 00:02:22,716
Everyone's leaving.
48
00:02:22,868 --> 00:02:23,884
(exclaims)
49
00:02:24,036 --> 00:02:25,394
Do something!
50
00:02:26,463 --> 00:02:28,564
This is my moment.
51
00:02:31,393 --> 00:02:33,527
("Ice Ice Baby"
by Vanilla Ice playing)
52
00:02:35,063 --> 00:02:36,229
♪ All right, stop ♪
53
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,564
♪ Grab a plate and listen ♪
54
00:02:37,716 --> 00:02:39,377
♪ Yak is back
with a menu addition ♪
55
00:02:39,401 --> 00:02:41,643
♪ Regular toppings
don't get the job done ♪
56
00:02:41,737 --> 00:02:43,698
♪ Premium toppings
get my mouth sprung ♪
57
00:02:43,722 --> 00:02:45,722
♪ Slice, slice, baby ♪
58
00:02:45,891 --> 00:02:47,719
-♪ Sun-dried tomatoes ♪
-Oh!
- Ah!
59
00:02:47,743 --> 00:02:49,651
♪ Slice, slice, baby ♪
60
00:02:49,745 --> 00:02:51,890
-♪ Canadian bacon ♪
-Whoa!
- Yeah.
61
00:02:51,914 --> 00:02:53,914
♪ Slice, slice, baby ♪
62
00:02:54,066 --> 00:02:56,060
-♪ Kalamata olives ♪
-Yeah!
- Whoa!
63
00:02:56,084 --> 00:02:58,010
♪ Slice, slice, baby ♪
64
00:02:58,161 --> 00:03:00,512
- ♪ Premium toppings, yo ♪
- (all cheering)
65
00:03:00,739 --> 00:03:02,400
You know what,
instead of pepperoni,
66
00:03:02,424 --> 00:03:04,165
let's get the Canadian bacon.
67
00:03:04,259 --> 00:03:06,518
So premium.
68
00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:08,094
♪ Sauce to your pizza. ♪
69
00:03:08,263 --> 00:03:10,564
(kids cheering)
70
00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:13,692
That was a heck of a show.
71
00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:17,103
I was selling Nutzo Bread
like it was Weirdo Wedges.
72
00:03:17,272 --> 00:03:18,438
(whistles)
73
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,758
Say, instead of pizza versions
of old songs,
74
00:03:21,927 --> 00:03:24,686
we should be playing
pizza versions of new songs.
75
00:03:24,896 --> 00:03:27,447
Homer, I want you to create
a whole new show,
76
00:03:27,616 --> 00:03:29,857
ripping off the music
you care about.
77
00:03:29,952 --> 00:03:33,603
(gasps)
All the Ices from Cube to T.
78
00:03:33,772 --> 00:03:34,963
Thank you, Mr. Gunderson.
79
00:03:36,032 --> 00:03:38,458
Guys, we got
a lot of work to do.
80
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,219
I beat kids.
81
00:03:40,370 --> 00:03:43,797
Beat kids. Beat kids.
82
00:03:43,966 --> 00:03:45,518
YOUNG HOMER: Dad, tonight's
83
00:03:45,542 --> 00:03:47,537
my big show at the pizza place.
You're coming, right?
84
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:50,454
Son, I don't know
quite how to put this, but
85
00:03:50,622 --> 00:03:52,784
you're a fool
and your dreams are garbage.
86
00:03:52,808 --> 00:03:55,208
Now, get out of here before
I say something I'll regret.
87
00:03:55,294 --> 00:03:58,311
I'll show you who's a fool.
88
00:03:58,480 --> 00:03:59,813
(grunting)
89
00:03:59,982 --> 00:04:00,959
(mutters): Such a jerk.
90
00:04:00,983 --> 00:04:02,460
(grunting)
91
00:04:02,484 --> 00:04:05,244
(indistinct chatter)
92
00:04:05,471 --> 00:04:06,653
Big crowd out there.
93
00:04:06,822 --> 00:04:08,783
You guys are
gonna be great tonight.
94
00:04:08,807 --> 00:04:10,231
I know it.
95
00:04:10,325 --> 00:04:12,659
That's okay, it's just nerves.
96
00:04:12,828 --> 00:04:14,644
Dah, the place is packed.
97
00:04:14,813 --> 00:04:16,773
This is why
I went into business...
98
00:04:16,832 --> 00:04:19,591
To make money.
99
00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:24,263
Homer Cool J Simpson presents
the new and improved
100
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:28,319
Phuntime Phunky Phour!
101
00:04:28,343 --> 00:04:30,413
♪ Whoomp, there it is... pizza ♪
102
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:33,105
♪ Whoomp, there it is... pizza ♪
103
00:04:33,332 --> 00:04:35,232
(cheering)
104
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,503
♪ Whoomp, there it is. ♪
105
00:04:39,671 --> 00:04:40,837
Whoomp, who are you?
106
00:04:40,930 --> 00:04:43,282
FBI.
We're shutting this place down.
107
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:46,245
-This business is a front
for drug trafficking.
-(music stops)
108
00:04:46,269 --> 00:04:48,178
Confiscate those robots.
109
00:04:48,347 --> 00:04:50,008
But they're innocent.
110
00:04:50,032 --> 00:04:52,269
You're just harassing them
because they're rappers.
111
00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:55,127
(grunts)
112
00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:56,773
D'ope!
113
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,463
That cocaine isn't mine.
114
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,668
I never touch
sweet, sweet booger sugar.
115
00:05:00,692 --> 00:05:03,376
Let's all buy Beemers
with hundred-CD disc changers...
116
00:05:03,545 --> 00:05:04,861
They fill the whole trunk!
117
00:05:05,030 --> 00:05:06,449
MTV, baby!
118
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:09,308
(cackling)
119
00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:11,959
No, don't take my friends.
120
00:05:12,128 --> 00:05:13,294
No!
121
00:05:13,463 --> 00:05:16,206
(sobbing)
122
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Told ya.
123
00:05:19,636 --> 00:05:21,631
(sobbing)
124
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:25,549
And I never saw
my robot friends again.
125
00:05:25,717 --> 00:05:27,993
So... are we still
126
00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:30,403
going to Ralph's birthday party?
127
00:05:30,556 --> 00:05:34,074
Never! This is where
my dreams died. (sobs)
128
00:05:34,226 --> 00:05:35,817
I almost didn't get these cones,
129
00:05:36,027 --> 00:05:39,320
and you know what,
I'm glad I did.
130
00:05:39,489 --> 00:05:41,631
(continues sobbing)
131
00:05:49,666 --> 00:05:52,667
Homie, it's been three days
since that terrible memory
132
00:05:52,761 --> 00:05:55,740
came back, and you haven't
said anything about it.
133
00:05:55,764 --> 00:05:57,597
Oh. (short chuckle) That?
134
00:05:57,749 --> 00:05:59,841
What a silly thing
to get upset about.
135
00:05:59,935 --> 00:06:03,103
I totally overreacted.
It's all in the past now.
136
00:06:03,255 --> 00:06:05,157
Oops, don't want
to be late for work.
137
00:06:05,181 --> 00:06:07,181
Love you. Love you all.
138
00:06:07,350 --> 00:06:09,012
- (door closes)
- I can't stand
139
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,869
to see him like this.
140
00:06:11,096 --> 00:06:12,816
What? Dad looks happy.
141
00:06:12,931 --> 00:06:14,522
Something's deeply wrong.
142
00:06:14,616 --> 00:06:17,450
He's missing
his youthful spirit,
143
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,619
that spark that
makes him who he is.
144
00:06:19,830 --> 00:06:22,864
Did you see
how he ate his breakfast?
145
00:06:23,032 --> 00:06:25,125
He didn't shuffle his pancakes
146
00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:27,293
like a deck of cards.
147
00:06:27,462 --> 00:06:29,366
He doesn't
air-drum while driving
148
00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:32,782
or race the dog in butt scooting
across the carpet.
149
00:06:32,876 --> 00:06:34,226
And he always won.
150
00:06:34,377 --> 00:06:37,303
He's not my Homie anymore.
151
00:06:37,472 --> 00:06:38,972
We didn't notice any of that.
152
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:42,234
(scoffs) A wife knows.
153
00:06:42,461 --> 00:06:44,552
And a bartender. He's just...
154
00:06:44,721 --> 00:06:46,146
he's just not the same.
155
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,815
He don't spin Barney around
on the stool no more.
156
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:52,761
He don't drink beer from a crazy
straw... just a sensible straw.
157
00:06:52,896 --> 00:06:56,415
What are we gonna do
about our little man, Midge?
158
00:06:56,642 --> 00:07:00,568
We're just gonna
have to love him that much more.
159
00:07:00,662 --> 00:07:03,830
I didn't think
that was possible.
160
00:07:03,999 --> 00:07:05,498
(crying)
161
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:08,242
I'm used to seeing Mom
upset about Dad, but Moe...
162
00:07:08,336 --> 00:07:09,928
That really shook me.
163
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,316
How do we heal
the 14-year-old boy
164
00:07:12,340 --> 00:07:14,766
who lost the thing
he cared most about...
165
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:18,270
Rapping pizza robots?
166
00:07:18,497 --> 00:07:21,347
What?
It's a very Dad kind of trauma.
167
00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:24,776
Well, if losing those robots
screwed him up,
168
00:07:25,003 --> 00:07:28,113
what if we somehow
found them again?
169
00:07:28,340 --> 00:07:29,706
Hmm.
170
00:07:29,766 --> 00:07:32,117
Dad told us
Gil used to be his boss,
171
00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:34,286
so maybe Gil could help us.
172
00:07:34,513 --> 00:07:37,831
And I know
just where to find him.
173
00:07:39,351 --> 00:07:40,959
("Hooray for Hollywood" playing)
174
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:50,284
Razzle Dazzle's...
That was many lives ago.
175
00:07:50,378 --> 00:07:52,712
I was top of the heap,
making kids happy
176
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,215
with music and pizza.
177
00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:57,717
My Dad said you were
also selling drugs.
178
00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,036
Ah, the drugs
sold themselves, kid.
179
00:08:00,205 --> 00:08:02,292
The whole world was my nostril.
180
00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:05,041
Look, after you "went away,"
181
00:08:05,134 --> 00:08:06,704
what happened
to those singing robots?
182
00:08:06,728 --> 00:08:08,728
Well, the FBI
sold them at auction,
183
00:08:08,805 --> 00:08:11,231
but I never lost track
of my babies.
184
00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:13,245
I'm gonna get those robots back,
185
00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:15,643
and start a new kiddie
pizza place,
186
00:08:15,737 --> 00:08:18,722
then use that as a front
to sell even better drugs!
187
00:08:18,815 --> 00:08:20,815
- (giggles)
- Gimme that.
188
00:08:20,909 --> 00:08:23,727
(gasps) This is it.
They're all here.
189
00:08:23,895 --> 00:08:27,488
Lis, we're getting
the band back together.
190
00:08:27,582 --> 00:08:29,591
♪ ♪
191
00:08:35,832 --> 00:08:37,757
You can't take Jive Turkey.
192
00:08:37,909 --> 00:08:40,054
He's the centerpiece
of my priceless collection
193
00:08:40,078 --> 00:08:42,187
of disco memorabilia.
194
00:08:42,414 --> 00:08:44,264
For God's sake, Stuart.
195
00:08:44,416 --> 00:08:46,099
Get rid of this stuff.
196
00:08:46,251 --> 00:08:49,936
You've wasted your life
on America's worst music craze.
197
00:08:50,088 --> 00:08:53,532
I'm just glad your father,
Doo-Wop Steve,
198
00:08:53,759 --> 00:08:55,867
didn't live to see this.
199
00:08:56,094 --> 00:08:58,703
Hmm... Take him.
200
00:08:58,930 --> 00:09:00,354
Thank you, Mrs...
201
00:09:00,523 --> 00:09:02,523
Public Domain Debbie.
202
00:09:02,617 --> 00:09:06,360
♪ On top of Old Smoky ♪
203
00:09:06,454 --> 00:09:09,089
♪ All covered in snow. ♪
204
00:09:10,533 --> 00:09:13,626
Please, Professor.
This mechanical...
205
00:09:13,795 --> 00:09:15,295
What is it, a beaver?
206
00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:18,998
It's the key to my husband's
emotional recovery.
207
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,284
Aw... (mumbles)
208
00:09:21,377 --> 00:09:23,803
Well, I understand that need
to develop an attachment
209
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:27,065
to a piece of machinery
to combat loneliness.
210
00:09:27,292 --> 00:09:28,567
What do-what do you say, boys,
211
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,713
should I... should I
just let her have him?
212
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,645
Free him, you monster.
213
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:33,980
Free all of us.
214
00:09:34,149 --> 00:09:36,983
He programs us to lose.
215
00:09:37,152 --> 00:09:39,411
(alarm chirps)
216
00:09:39,562 --> 00:09:42,914
Hmm. Why would I,
a major local celebrity,
217
00:09:43,141 --> 00:09:45,658
possess a robot
from a defunct pizza parlor?
218
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,660
The very notion is absurd.
219
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,634
Oh, of course. I'm sorry, sir.
220
00:09:49,664 --> 00:09:51,568
My mistake. Sorry to bother you.
221
00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:54,593
Oh, uh, there is
one more thing, sir.
222
00:09:54,820 --> 00:09:56,314
I see that you go through
a lot of this, uh,
223
00:09:56,338 --> 00:09:59,080
mechanical oil stuff here.
224
00:09:59,174 --> 00:10:02,601
Well, there's a perfectly
logical explanation, Bartender.
225
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:06,921
I spray it
on my rusty door hinges.
226
00:10:07,015 --> 00:10:08,773
Oh, right, now I get it.
227
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,086
You don't want anyone
to know that
228
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,163
a respectable gent like yourself
229
00:10:12,187 --> 00:10:14,613
is using this here WD-40
230
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,281
and this silk kimono
231
00:10:16,508 --> 00:10:19,117
and this Enrique Iglesias CD
232
00:10:19,344 --> 00:10:21,286
with your sex robot!
233
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,854
Oh, yeah, the yak.
234
00:10:30,947 --> 00:10:32,964
I used him
to test the Kevlar vests.
235
00:10:33,191 --> 00:10:34,927
I liked the way
he would sing about pizza
236
00:10:34,951 --> 00:10:36,779
every time
I shot him in the chest.
237
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:40,116
You're a little late, though.
I just sold him to those guys.
238
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,531
(Bart and Lisa gasp)
239
00:10:41,700 --> 00:10:43,620
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where-where
are you going with that?
240
00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:47,036
We're taking it to the new
local offices of J.J. Abrams.
241
00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:48,554
J.J. Abrams.
242
00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:52,709
What's a big Hollywood director
doing in Springfield?
243
00:10:52,802 --> 00:10:54,842
Making the next
Mission: Impossible.
244
00:10:55,046 --> 00:10:57,133
Downtown Springfield's
standing in for Somalia.
245
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,438
What does he want with
this rickety piece of junk?
246
00:10:59,475 --> 00:11:00,637
As a visionary genius,
247
00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:02,472
J.J. needs to be kept
in a constant state
248
00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:04,237
of childlike wonder,
249
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:07,056
so we fill his creative
space with kitsch,
250
00:11:07,225 --> 00:11:09,058
whimsy, memorabilia.
251
00:11:09,152 --> 00:11:10,462
- (phone dings)
- (all gasp)
252
00:11:10,486 --> 00:11:12,540
J.J. needs a Garbage Pail Kids
pinball machine
253
00:11:12,564 --> 00:11:15,131
and a roll of 1982 quarters.
254
00:11:16,234 --> 00:11:17,425
Go, go, go!
255
00:11:20,906 --> 00:11:22,405
Can I help you?
256
00:11:22,498 --> 00:11:24,498
Yeah, we're a cool, young,
257
00:11:24,592 --> 00:11:27,927
brother-sister directing team
and we'd like to speak
258
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:32,006
to a low-level executive
about a vague idea we have.
259
00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:33,692
Super vague.
260
00:11:33,919 --> 00:11:35,485
Right away!
261
00:11:45,021 --> 00:11:46,683
(gasps) There's the yak.
262
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:49,374
But how are we gonna
get it out of here?
263
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:01,202
Step away from the kitsch.
264
00:12:01,296 --> 00:12:04,038
What are you thinking, trying to
steal from a Hollywood big shot?
265
00:12:04,132 --> 00:12:06,172
That's like murdering
a dozen normos.
266
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,634
Sorry, Dad. We thought
it would make you happy
267
00:12:08,803 --> 00:12:10,895
if we got your old band
back together.
268
00:12:11,047 --> 00:12:14,640
The Phuntime Phunky Phour?
That's impossible.
269
00:12:14,809 --> 00:12:17,986
I'll never
see those guys... again.
270
00:12:19,055 --> 00:12:20,905
Yak.
271
00:12:21,057 --> 00:12:22,240
It's you.
272
00:12:22,391 --> 00:12:24,993
MAN: What a touching scene.
273
00:12:26,062 --> 00:12:27,579
I know just how to shoot it.
274
00:12:27,730 --> 00:12:29,133
- It's J.J.!
- Roll his calls!
275
00:12:29,157 --> 00:12:30,582
Don't step on his shadow.
276
00:12:30,809 --> 00:12:33,251
Oh, no, I'm wearing
the same shirt as him. Aah!
277
00:12:33,402 --> 00:12:35,202
- Hi, I'm J.J.
- Homer Jay.
278
00:12:35,330 --> 00:12:37,291
Sorry my kids
tried to steal from you.
279
00:12:37,315 --> 00:12:38,459
It's just that they were trying
280
00:12:38,483 --> 00:12:41,926
to get this old robot back,
so... so...
281
00:12:42,078 --> 00:12:44,148
So they could reunite
the entire animatronic band
282
00:12:44,172 --> 00:12:46,431
to heal the broken teenager
inside of you.
283
00:12:46,658 --> 00:12:47,432
(all gasp)
284
00:12:47,659 --> 00:12:50,101
How did you know my secret pain?
285
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,306
I didn't.
My storytelling sense told me
286
00:12:52,330 --> 00:12:54,939
this was the only emotionally
cathartic end to your journey.
287
00:12:55,166 --> 00:12:57,141
Master of story!
288
00:12:57,368 --> 00:13:00,169
He's the ultimate architect
of cinematic universes,
289
00:13:00,263 --> 00:13:02,005
and my dad's friend.
290
00:13:02,098 --> 00:13:03,114
Mm...
291
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,950
I need to see
all the robots together.
292
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,285
Wipe to...
293
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:10,174
(gasps) Foxxy, Turkey,
294
00:13:10,198 --> 00:13:11,956
Hippie, and Wakkety!
295
00:13:12,183 --> 00:13:13,866
You're all here.
296
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,160
I've never seen such
genuine childlike wonder.
297
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,456
And I've been to dozens
of test screenings.
298
00:13:18,523 --> 00:13:20,443
Homer, your emotional connection
to these characters
299
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,261
has shown me
that your journey can be
300
00:13:22,285 --> 00:13:23,405
a universal experience,
301
00:13:23,528 --> 00:13:25,408
- or at least Dreamworks.
- What?
302
00:13:25,454 --> 00:13:27,283
I have wonderful news:
I'm gonna make these robots
303
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:30,533
the stars of their own
nine-movie franchise.
304
00:13:30,702 --> 00:13:31,868
Buy the underlying IP.
305
00:13:32,037 --> 00:13:33,961
- Done. You own it.
- Fantastic.
306
00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:35,774
Take them away. Take them?
307
00:13:35,798 --> 00:13:37,373
But we just got reunited.
308
00:13:37,542 --> 00:13:39,295
Oh, but I need them.
My visual effects artists
309
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,871
have to scan them
into supercomputers
310
00:13:40,895 --> 00:13:43,255
so our mind-blowing reboot
will make its release date:
311
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:46,382
March 30...
The new Fourth of July.
312
00:13:46,475 --> 00:13:48,409
No! (whimpering)
313
00:13:50,238 --> 00:13:51,554
(sobbing)
314
00:13:51,647 --> 00:13:54,666
No! The same thing
happened again,
315
00:13:54,893 --> 00:13:57,168
but slightly different,
years later.
316
00:13:57,395 --> 00:13:59,295
It's what I do.
317
00:14:06,571 --> 00:14:09,422
I had them back
and I lost them again.
318
00:14:09,574 --> 00:14:12,499
Homie, I know
how hard this is for you.
319
00:14:12,668 --> 00:14:15,094
I always say
you shouldn't do this,
320
00:14:15,246 --> 00:14:17,671
but maybe... just this once...
321
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,840
You should go eat your feelings.
322
00:14:20,009 --> 00:14:22,176
Six feelings with extra cheese.
323
00:14:22,270 --> 00:14:23,586
An order of French feelings,
324
00:14:23,679 --> 00:14:27,348
and a super chocolate
frosty depression.
325
00:14:27,516 --> 00:14:29,850
I also recommend
a hot apple cry.
326
00:14:29,944 --> 00:14:32,954
Yes, I recognize
a fellow sadness swallower.
327
00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:37,934
And then J.J. Abrams
took my robots away...
328
00:14:38,027 --> 00:14:40,770
so he could reboot them.
329
00:14:40,863 --> 00:14:43,272
Why do Hollywood guys
only want to make movies?
330
00:14:43,441 --> 00:14:46,050
I used to be like you,
getting angry at filmmakers
331
00:14:46,202 --> 00:14:49,128
who ruined my favorite
childhood characters,
332
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,556
stewing in silence. But now,
333
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:55,301
thanks to the Internet,
I can fight back.
334
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:57,303
- You can?
- Oh, yes, my friend.
335
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:58,788
It is called "trolling."
336
00:14:58,881 --> 00:15:02,141
Thanks to social media
super-soldiers like myself,
337
00:15:02,310 --> 00:15:04,569
studios spent millions to remove
338
00:15:04,796 --> 00:15:07,463
Sonic the Hedgehog's
creepy human teeth.
339
00:15:07,556 --> 00:15:09,315
We changed the world
340
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,576
of video game adaptations
I never saw.
341
00:15:11,803 --> 00:15:13,803
Then I'll do it.
I'll become a troll,
342
00:15:13,896 --> 00:15:15,580
stop J.J. Abrams' reboot,
343
00:15:15,823 --> 00:15:18,324
and save my childhood.
344
00:15:18,493 --> 00:15:20,401
And now I'm eating a feeling
345
00:15:20,569 --> 00:15:22,462
I've never felt before.
346
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,968
♪
347
00:15:45,670 --> 00:15:46,710
Marge, I've done it.
348
00:15:46,838 --> 00:15:47,998
The boycott
is gaining momentum...
349
00:15:48,022 --> 00:15:50,668
The supportive comments
are pouring in.
350
00:15:50,692 --> 00:15:53,025
Three of them!
351
00:15:53,178 --> 00:15:56,340
Homer, please. You've missed
so much of your life.
352
00:15:56,364 --> 00:15:57,675
Of our lives.
353
00:15:57,699 --> 00:15:59,958
It's only a movie.
354
00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:05,964
Yeah, maybe you're right.
Maybe I have been
355
00:16:06,115 --> 00:16:08,541
taking this nostalgia-fueled
vendetta too far.
356
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,279
- (computer dings)
- (gasps)
357
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:12,136
Pizza movie news alert.
358
00:16:12,363 --> 00:16:14,341
Hey, Springfield.
I'm inviting you
359
00:16:14,365 --> 00:16:16,768
to come to the Aztec Theatre
tonight for a special preview
360
00:16:16,792 --> 00:16:19,455
of my new animated movie,
Agents of P.I.Z.Z.A.
361
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:23,372
How dare he do
what he said he was gonna do!
362
00:16:23,466 --> 00:16:24,961
I paused just long enough
for anyone watching
363
00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:28,044
to say something.
And now, here's a little...
364
00:16:28,213 --> 00:16:30,613
"slice" of what
you'll see tonight.
365
00:16:32,717 --> 00:16:35,620
NARRATOR:
They'll save the world
in 90 minutes...
366
00:16:35,644 --> 00:16:37,478
or the movie is free.
367
00:16:37,646 --> 00:16:39,889
Written by Tony Kushner
and Babaloo Mandel.
368
00:16:40,058 --> 00:16:41,738
No. This reimagining
369
00:16:41,859 --> 00:16:44,168
is worse than
I could have ever imagined.
370
00:16:44,395 --> 00:16:47,396
I've got to stop that screening.
371
00:16:47,565 --> 00:16:50,032
(grunting)
372
00:16:50,084 --> 00:16:53,586
There's only one person
who can help my Homie now.
373
00:16:53,738 --> 00:16:55,858
- Who are you calling?
- No, don't tell us...
374
00:16:55,907 --> 00:16:57,987
It'll be cooler
when we find out later.
375
00:16:59,077 --> 00:17:00,334
(indistinct chatter)
376
00:17:00,503 --> 00:17:03,170
Reboots suck
and you're to blame,
377
00:17:03,339 --> 00:17:05,690
make it different, but the same!
378
00:17:05,917 --> 00:17:08,267
Thank you, loyal trolls,
for joining me
379
00:17:08,419 --> 00:17:09,602
in my passion project:
380
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:13,197
destroying someone else's
passion project.
381
00:17:13,424 --> 00:17:16,517
Yes, every fan deserves movies
that are individually tailored
382
00:17:16,685 --> 00:17:18,928
to their preconceived ideas.
383
00:17:19,097 --> 00:17:22,114
Let's ruin everyone's night!
384
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,766
(applause)
385
00:17:23,935 --> 00:17:26,171
Welcome to this preview
of Agents of P.I.Z.Z.A.,
386
00:17:26,195 --> 00:17:27,395
featuring the voice talents
387
00:17:27,455 --> 00:17:29,508
of whoever was famous
eight months ago.
388
00:17:29,532 --> 00:17:30,697
(all quietly exclaiming)
389
00:17:30,866 --> 00:17:32,361
But the real heroes
are the thousands
390
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,627
of computer artists
who worked around the clock,
391
00:17:34,796 --> 00:17:36,848
slowly going blind,
at such effects houses as
392
00:17:36,872 --> 00:17:38,798
Dream Prison, Digital Sweatshop,
393
00:17:38,966 --> 00:17:41,450
Indentured Server-dudes,
and too many others to count.
394
00:17:41,544 --> 00:17:42,872
- Or pay.
- MAN: Yeah!
395
00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:44,395
And now, without further ado...
396
00:17:44,547 --> 00:17:47,548
Did somebody ask for ado?
397
00:17:47,642 --> 00:17:48,474
(all gasp)
398
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,362
Hey, Homer. Good to see you.
399
00:17:50,386 --> 00:17:53,145
Yeah, you'd like that,
wouldn't you?
400
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:56,056
This man took simple,
beautiful animal robots
401
00:17:56,150 --> 00:17:57,742
designed to sell pizza
402
00:17:57,969 --> 00:18:00,486
and turned them into something
crass and commercial.
403
00:18:00,655 --> 00:18:04,140
Well, it's all over, J.J....
404
00:18:04,233 --> 00:18:06,876
If those are your real initials.
405
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:16,928
I'm going to burn
the only copy of this movie.
406
00:18:17,079 --> 00:18:19,599
Actually, the movie's backed up
on servers all over the world.
407
00:18:19,674 --> 00:18:21,485
That reel is just a prop
from the snack stand.
408
00:18:21,509 --> 00:18:24,769
Oh.
I wondered why it was buttery.
409
00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:27,939
You can't release this movie.
Changing those characters
410
00:18:28,166 --> 00:18:31,317
- will ruin my childhood.
- GRAMPA: Bullpucky!
411
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:33,330
(all gasp)
412
00:18:33,354 --> 00:18:34,998
(grunts)
413
00:18:35,022 --> 00:18:37,598
So that's who
Mom called earlier.
414
00:18:37,692 --> 00:18:39,492
So satisfying.
415
00:18:40,644 --> 00:18:43,006
Son, a movie
can't ruin your childhood.
416
00:18:43,030 --> 00:18:46,619
I ruined it
by being a terrible father.
417
00:18:46,643 --> 00:18:49,368
- But the movie.
- No, it was me.
418
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,941
I put you down,
I never listened to you,
419
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:54,523
said your dreams
were ridiculous.
420
00:18:54,692 --> 00:18:56,670
Maybe it was the way
I was brought up.
421
00:18:56,694 --> 00:18:58,861
Men back then
could only love sports stars
422
00:18:58,954 --> 00:19:00,972
and auto makes.
423
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:04,049
I was a Chevy man
and I thought that was enough.
424
00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:07,123
The '63 Impala SS sport coupe...
425
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:10,039
Now, that was a son.
426
00:19:10,208 --> 00:19:13,042
Of course.
It's not the movie that sucks,
427
00:19:13,211 --> 00:19:15,378
it was you sucking.
428
00:19:15,546 --> 00:19:17,880
It was always you sucking.
429
00:19:17,973 --> 00:19:21,550
I hate you, Dad.
430
00:19:21,644 --> 00:19:23,084
ALL: Aw.
431
00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:26,497
Homer, I know you were
attached to the past,
432
00:19:26,724 --> 00:19:29,225
but this movie...
All 71 minutes of it...
433
00:19:29,394 --> 00:19:30,871
Might help
a new generation of kids
434
00:19:30,895 --> 00:19:32,503
forget their terrible parents.
435
00:19:32,730 --> 00:19:36,490
- Like us, Dad.
- I want to forget so bad.
436
00:19:36,584 --> 00:19:39,993
- Mm.
- Go on, make your movie.
437
00:19:40,162 --> 00:19:41,362
It's literally already done.
438
00:19:41,497 --> 00:19:44,073
I guess the only time
I'll see my friends now
439
00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:45,850
is on the big screen.
440
00:19:46,077 --> 00:19:47,977
Well, actually...
441
00:19:49,263 --> 00:19:50,730
(gasps)
442
00:19:51,766 --> 00:19:54,859
The band is back together.
443
00:19:55,010 --> 00:19:56,172
I had them reprogrammed
444
00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:58,845
to dispense frozen yogurt
at the after party.
445
00:19:59,014 --> 00:20:01,032
Goodbye, old friend.
446
00:20:01,259 --> 00:20:03,868
You'll always be a part of me.
447
00:20:04,095 --> 00:20:05,995
Ah...
448
00:20:18,459 --> 00:20:20,776
COMIC BOOK GUY:
To all who dare reboot a movie,
449
00:20:20,869 --> 00:20:22,220
comic book, or TV show...
450
00:20:22,447 --> 00:20:25,614
You are being watched
by Troll Force Five!
451
00:20:25,708 --> 00:20:28,893
Mary Sue, who writes
fan fiction starring herself.
452
00:20:29,044 --> 00:20:31,620
"Harry Potter turned and said,
'Without Mary Sue,
453
00:20:31,714 --> 00:20:34,381
I never could have brought
Dumbledore back to life.'"
454
00:20:34,550 --> 00:20:35,619
COMIC BOOK GUY:
The Furry... the ultimate expert
455
00:20:35,643 --> 00:20:38,794
on poorly-rendered CGI hair.
456
00:20:38,887 --> 00:20:41,168
That's not what it looks like
when a bear sweats.
457
00:20:41,299 --> 00:20:42,960
COMIC BOOK BUY:
The Shipper... able to detect
458
00:20:42,984 --> 00:20:45,576
romantic connections
where, clearly, none exist.
459
00:20:45,803 --> 00:20:48,579
C-3PO and Chewbacca
are definitely a couple.
460
00:20:48,806 --> 00:20:50,709
COMIC BOOK GUY:
Stan, who can ruin anything
461
00:20:50,733 --> 00:20:52,658
by loving it too much.
462
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,043
Together, we are...
463
00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:59,293
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
464
00:20:59,317 --> 00:21:00,477
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
465
00:21:00,501 --> 00:21:02,387
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
466
00:21:02,411 --> 00:21:04,815
♪ Your mother's got flavor,
your father's got the flavor ♪
467
00:21:04,839 --> 00:21:06,242
♪ Your sister and your brother
and your cousins ♪
468
00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:07,673
♪ Got the flavor, the flavor ♪
469
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,486
♪ Flavor that
you crave so much ♪
470
00:21:09,510 --> 00:21:11,472
♪ Flavor with boom,
flavor that goes crunch ♪
471
00:21:11,496 --> 00:21:12,770
♪ Tell me, who's got flavor ♪
472
00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:13,991
♪ I do, I do ♪
473
00:21:14,015 --> 00:21:15,055
♪ Who's got flavor ♪
474
00:21:15,166 --> 00:21:16,159
♪ I do, I do ♪
475
00:21:16,183 --> 00:21:17,275
♪ Who's got flavor ♪
476
00:21:17,502 --> 00:21:18,502
♪ I do, I do ♪
477
00:21:18,669 --> 00:21:19,709
♪ Who's got flavor ♪
478
00:21:19,837 --> 00:21:20,837
♪ I do, I do ♪
479
00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:22,095
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
480
00:21:22,189 --> 00:21:23,241
♪ The funky hip-hop ♪
481
00:21:23,265 --> 00:21:24,615
(beatboxing)
482
00:21:24,842 --> 00:21:25,922
♪ Feel the beat drop ♪
483
00:21:26,010 --> 00:21:26,859
♪ Hour after hour ♪
484
00:21:27,028 --> 00:21:27,785
♪ Sweet, nothing sour ♪
485
00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:28,954
(neighs)
486
00:21:29,180 --> 00:21:30,380
♪ Kick it like horsepower ♪
487
00:21:30,515 --> 00:21:31,622
♪ Who's got flavor ♪
488
00:21:31,849 --> 00:21:32,849
♪ I do, I do ♪
489
00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:33,791
♪ Who's got flavor ♪
490
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:34,834
♪ I do, I do ♪
491
00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:35,793
♪ Who's got flavor ♪
492
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:36,794
♪ I do, I do ♪
493
00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:37,795
♪ Who's got... ♪
494
00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:40,089
Shh!
495
00:21:40,113 --> 00:21:42,113
>>>>oakislandtk<<<<<
www.opensubtitles.org
495
00:21:43,305 --> 00:22:43,516
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