1 00:00:02,819 --> 00:00:04,545 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:09,425 D'oh. 3 00:00:10,660 --> 00:00:12,160 (grunts) 4 00:00:12,254 --> 00:00:14,263 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:22,074 A gift for your gay-self? Get a Gay Pack at www.nextgaything.com 6 00:00:29,421 --> 00:00:30,754 D'oh. 7 00:00:30,847 --> 00:00:34,241 ♪ ♪ 8 00:00:37,596 --> 00:00:39,705 ♪ Here's the story ♪ 9 00:00:39,932 --> 00:00:40,947 (scats) 10 00:00:41,100 --> 00:00:42,766 ♪ Of a fat cat ♪ 11 00:00:42,859 --> 00:00:43,767 (scats) 12 00:00:43,860 --> 00:00:45,878 ♪ That no one ♪ 13 00:00:46,029 --> 00:00:48,955 ♪ Really liked ♪ 14 00:00:49,108 --> 00:00:52,292 ♪ His name is Monty ♪ 15 00:00:52,444 --> 00:00:55,054 ♪ He's an old rat, ha. ♪ 16 00:00:55,205 --> 00:00:57,556 ♪ And he's sleepin' ♪ 17 00:00:57,783 --> 00:00:59,800 ♪ Bad tonight. ♪ 18 00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:02,144 (scats) 19 00:01:03,898 --> 00:01:05,230 (groans) 20 00:01:06,792 --> 00:01:08,378 Everybody hates me. 21 00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:11,289 Sir, your personal chef is here with your breakfast. 22 00:01:11,313 --> 00:01:13,273 (French accent): Voilà. One raisin, 23 00:01:13,465 --> 00:01:17,201 wrinkles ironed and smoothed, with one molecule of sugar. 24 00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:20,632 Too sharp. It could cut me to ribbons. 25 00:01:20,656 --> 00:01:22,656 Release the hounds. 26 00:01:22,808 --> 00:01:23,824 (growling) 27 00:01:23,976 --> 00:01:26,085 No, you need a wine pairing. 28 00:01:26,312 --> 00:01:28,807 Cabernet, to bring out my earthiness. 29 00:01:28,831 --> 00:01:29,904 (barking) 30 00:01:29,998 --> 00:01:31,665 Cordon bleu! 31 00:01:31,817 --> 00:01:32,977 BURNS: Smithers, 32 00:01:33,001 --> 00:01:34,284 I need real food. 33 00:01:34,336 --> 00:01:36,907 Something that'll stick to my rib. (sniffs) 34 00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,983 What is that delicious smell? 35 00:01:39,007 --> 00:01:40,340 Um, uh, this is my lunch. 36 00:01:40,492 --> 00:01:42,101 My wife just gave me a salad, 37 00:01:42,328 --> 00:01:44,247 but she said I could choose my own dressing, 38 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:47,272 so I picked this hamburger. (grunts) 39 00:01:50,519 --> 00:01:51,610 Hmm. 40 00:01:51,837 --> 00:01:54,499 Seems to be some sort of meat with a slice 41 00:01:54,523 --> 00:01:57,836 of James Lewis Kraft's confectionary cheese on top 42 00:01:57,860 --> 00:02:01,862 and a kind of catsup blended with a well-naised egg 43 00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:04,289 in the style of Mayon. 44 00:02:06,352 --> 00:02:09,711 ♪ ♪ 45 00:02:11,874 --> 00:02:13,340 I'll never let go. 46 00:02:17,529 --> 00:02:20,806 I must have more of these, uh... What do you call them? 47 00:02:20,957 --> 00:02:22,360 Hamburgers. 48 00:02:22,384 --> 00:02:24,810 You're eating people from Hamburg? 49 00:02:25,037 --> 00:02:26,553 I don't know. Maybe. 50 00:02:26,705 --> 00:02:28,555 Mmm. 51 00:02:28,707 --> 00:02:31,369 Sir, uh, we need to be cautious about this. 52 00:02:31,393 --> 00:02:33,152 It's not healthy for a man 53 00:02:33,303 --> 00:02:35,263 to double his weight within a day. 54 00:02:36,565 --> 00:02:38,565 (gasps) Triple! 55 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:39,783 No...! 56 00:02:44,481 --> 00:02:46,331 (shuddering gasp) 57 00:02:49,895 --> 00:02:51,152 (grunts) My heart! 58 00:02:51,246 --> 00:02:53,224 This could be my last moment on Earth. 59 00:02:53,248 --> 00:02:55,674 If so, fire someone and let me watch. 60 00:02:55,825 --> 00:02:58,326 Someone who just bought a house. 61 00:02:58,420 --> 00:03:00,345 (groans) 62 00:03:01,498 --> 00:03:03,140 BURNS: Smithers. 63 00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:06,259 Oh, thank God you're alive. 64 00:03:06,412 --> 00:03:07,405 And famished. 65 00:03:07,429 --> 00:03:09,407 Do they serve burgers in this joint? 66 00:03:09,431 --> 00:03:11,839 No, sir. Eating meat could kill you. 67 00:03:11,934 --> 00:03:13,750 Eh, no one lives forever. 68 00:03:13,843 --> 00:03:15,580 Except Dick Cheney. What's his deal? 69 00:03:15,604 --> 00:03:17,587 Sir, you nearly died. 70 00:03:17,681 --> 00:03:20,032 I nearly died? How was the reaction? 71 00:03:20,183 --> 00:03:22,759 Well, when they heard you were dying... 72 00:03:22,852 --> 00:03:25,537 (wild cheering) 73 00:03:25,764 --> 00:03:27,021 He's alive. 74 00:03:27,115 --> 00:03:28,555 ALL: Aw. 75 00:03:29,359 --> 00:03:31,284 - (gunshot) - People don't like me. 76 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,856 They really don't. Why? 77 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,605 You've released the hounds on nearly everyone in town, sir. 78 00:03:35,699 --> 00:03:37,090 Everyone loves dogs, Smithers. 79 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,700 It must be something else. 80 00:03:38,794 --> 00:03:40,702 Um, if you're ready, come. 81 00:03:40,796 --> 00:03:42,930 - The cue will be "life." - Hmm. 82 00:03:44,466 --> 00:03:47,467 Smithers, this means that no one will mourn me when I'm gone. 83 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,728 My only legacy will be the extra radiation 84 00:03:49,955 --> 00:03:52,209 on every drop of water on Earth. 85 00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:54,044 - Don't give up, sir. - No, I give up. 86 00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:54,975 Don't give up. 87 00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:56,213 - I give up. - Don't give up. 88 00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:57,069 I give up. 89 00:03:57,220 --> 00:03:58,144 - Don't give up. - Seriously, 90 00:03:58,239 --> 00:03:59,312 I give up. 91 00:03:59,465 --> 00:04:01,109 Will you listen to me for one minute? 92 00:04:01,133 --> 00:04:03,053 Sir, I figured out a way to add to your legacy 93 00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:06,536 and extend your life. 94 00:04:08,974 --> 00:04:11,083 The professor here has used exotic plants 95 00:04:11,310 --> 00:04:14,305 to develop what I think is the healthiest, tastiest 96 00:04:14,329 --> 00:04:16,237 meatless burger ever. 97 00:04:16,331 --> 00:04:17,976 You could eat as many as you want 98 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,960 and we can sell them at a profit. 99 00:04:20,261 --> 00:04:23,387 -Aw. -Not here. Not here, please. I've told you about this. 100 00:04:28,084 --> 00:04:29,935 Oh, do you know how Edison felt 101 00:04:30,162 --> 00:04:32,162 on that incredible, magical night? 102 00:04:32,255 --> 00:04:33,917 When he invented the light bulb? 103 00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,701 No. The electric chair. 104 00:04:35,834 --> 00:04:37,350 That's how I feel now. 105 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:38,922 Smithers, this could change my legacy. 106 00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:41,596 People have to like the person who made them live longer. 107 00:04:41,690 --> 00:04:43,023 They have to. 108 00:04:43,175 --> 00:04:43,949 What are you saying, sir? 109 00:04:44,176 --> 00:04:45,216 I'm going to make it 110 00:04:45,344 --> 00:04:47,786 to what I never thought possible: 111 00:04:48,013 --> 00:04:49,604 beloved after death. 112 00:04:49,698 --> 00:04:52,040 Look at me, world. 113 00:04:58,540 --> 00:05:00,799 We'll do a sneak preview of your burger chain 114 00:05:00,950 --> 00:05:02,134 and then a grand opening 115 00:05:02,285 --> 00:05:04,263 of a thousand stores across the country. 116 00:05:04,287 --> 00:05:05,949 Now all we need is a name. 117 00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:07,047 Excellent. 118 00:05:07,199 --> 00:05:09,516 (gasps) You've done it again, sir. 119 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:12,869 BROCKMAN: We're here to cover 120 00:05:12,962 --> 00:05:14,849 the sneak preview of our new sponsor, 121 00:05:14,873 --> 00:05:16,126 X-Cell-Ent Burger. 122 00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:17,799 I... I'm just getting word 123 00:05:17,893 --> 00:05:21,302 Springfield Dam has ruptured and water is roaring down. 124 00:05:21,396 --> 00:05:23,989 We'll let the, uh, sad news cover that. 125 00:05:24,216 --> 00:05:25,565 I'm here live at... 126 00:05:25,717 --> 00:05:26,717 Aah! 127 00:05:27,644 --> 00:05:29,886 He was a good reporter, great parking spot. 128 00:05:29,979 --> 00:05:32,497 Uh, but let's move on from grief to beef. 129 00:05:32,724 --> 00:05:35,909 The first paying customer to taste the X-Cell-Ent Burger 130 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,410 will be... 131 00:05:37,563 --> 00:05:39,504 (all gasping) 132 00:05:39,656 --> 00:05:41,506 Number 43. 133 00:05:41,733 --> 00:05:42,877 - Aw. - That's me. 134 00:05:42,901 --> 00:05:43,991 But I warn you, 135 00:05:44,086 --> 00:05:47,087 I've had every plant-based meat ever made: 136 00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,588 Phony Baloney, 137 00:05:48,740 --> 00:05:49,514 Not Wurst, 138 00:05:49,666 --> 00:05:50,740 Faux Foie Gras, 139 00:05:50,834 --> 00:05:52,592 Corned Beets On Rye, 140 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,019 and Ghost Beef. 141 00:05:54,170 --> 00:05:56,688 Good luck pleasing me. 142 00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:58,732 ♪ ♪ 143 00:06:06,758 --> 00:06:08,658 ♪ ♪ 144 00:06:11,930 --> 00:06:13,591 So, what do you think? 145 00:06:13,615 --> 00:06:14,948 It tastes great! 146 00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:18,262 And no animal has passed gas in its making. 147 00:06:18,286 --> 00:06:21,362 This burger might just save the world. 148 00:06:21,456 --> 00:06:22,600 Oh. Oh. 149 00:06:22,624 --> 00:06:24,216 Thank you. 150 00:06:25,777 --> 00:06:27,772 (sobbing): Thank you. 151 00:06:27,796 --> 00:06:29,774 You're letting me cut the line? 152 00:06:29,798 --> 00:06:30,872 Oh, thank you. 153 00:06:30,966 --> 00:06:32,276 I don't have to cook. 154 00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:34,467 I can finally teach Maggie to talk. 155 00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:38,230 Thank you. Thank you, thank you. Mm, mm. 156 00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:41,233 ♪ ♪ 157 00:06:43,386 --> 00:06:45,715 Praise, praise... Something I've craved 158 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,531 since I was a little boy. 159 00:06:49,635 --> 00:06:51,835 I drew this picture of you hugging me, Mummy. 160 00:06:51,970 --> 00:06:53,987 I don't like art that lies. 161 00:06:54,139 --> 00:06:56,393 Oh, and by the way, your father's dead. 162 00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:57,417 (sighs) 163 00:06:57,567 --> 00:06:59,470 There's just one more thing we need. 164 00:06:59,494 --> 00:07:00,494 A spokesman. 165 00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,737 If we find a regular slob who loves it, 166 00:07:02,831 --> 00:07:04,497 we can start a chain reaction. 167 00:07:04,650 --> 00:07:06,477 Just like, uh, ooh... 168 00:07:06,501 --> 00:07:07,501 Nuclear fission? 169 00:07:07,653 --> 00:07:09,669 Is that how that works? Really? Heh. 170 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,337 Now to find our slob. 171 00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:13,515 My card. 172 00:07:18,588 --> 00:07:20,083 Smithers, keep your nods to yourself. 173 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,084 Yes, sir. 174 00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:22,810 Since we're using a green screen, 175 00:07:22,834 --> 00:07:24,109 do I have to be this high up? 176 00:07:24,260 --> 00:07:27,090 - We need the chance of death. - Before we film, 177 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,574 we need you to sign this contract 178 00:07:28,598 --> 00:07:30,501 stating that what you publicly say about our product 179 00:07:30,525 --> 00:07:32,244 is limited to certain catchphrases. 180 00:07:32,268 --> 00:07:35,361 Approved phrases limited to... 181 00:07:35,514 --> 00:07:36,599 "yes ve-gan," 182 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:37,934 "I guaran-tree it," 183 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,269 "abso-lettuce," 184 00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:40,603 and the "meat beater." 185 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:43,197 (gasps) Every one of those has two meanings. 186 00:07:43,221 --> 00:07:45,112 Your ad guys are geniuses. 187 00:07:45,207 --> 00:07:48,091 If I could be a fly on the wall... 188 00:07:50,696 --> 00:07:52,286 Uh-oh. My kids! 189 00:07:52,380 --> 00:07:56,360 Oh, I got to put all these kids through garbage? 190 00:07:56,384 --> 00:07:58,270 Now, listen, if you break this contract, 191 00:07:58,294 --> 00:08:00,531 we'll release the hounds, who will bite you here, 192 00:08:00,555 --> 00:08:01,980 here, here and here. 193 00:08:02,131 --> 00:08:03,982 And here in triplicate. 194 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:08,228 (beeping) 195 00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:09,896 Okay, Homer, let's try a take. 196 00:08:10,048 --> 00:08:10,972 Action. 197 00:08:11,066 --> 00:08:13,211 They say I'm eating healthy. 198 00:08:13,235 --> 00:08:15,068 They say I'm saving the planet. 199 00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:16,973 But here's my secret: 200 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:20,218 it tastes like it was scared to die. 201 00:08:20,242 --> 00:08:21,627 ANNOUNCER: The X-Cell-Ent Burger... 202 00:08:21,651 --> 00:08:23,629 Coming soon to a location near you. 203 00:08:23,653 --> 00:08:25,815 The fate of the world is in your mouth. 204 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,655 With all these commercials, 205 00:08:27,749 --> 00:08:30,728 I'm afraid your father's going to need bigger pants. 206 00:08:30,752 --> 00:08:33,995 Alexa, do you have any X-X-X-X- 207 00:08:34,089 --> 00:08:37,827 X-X-X-XL in stock? 208 00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,759 I found XLN stock. 209 00:08:39,911 --> 00:08:41,836 How much would you like to buy? 210 00:08:41,930 --> 00:08:43,741 Um, I-I don't know. 211 00:08:43,765 --> 00:08:45,431 How's ten pairs? 212 00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:48,768 Submitting order for a thousand shares of XLN stock. 213 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,340 Please confirm. 214 00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:53,084 - Confirm? - Ignoring question mark. 215 00:08:53,108 --> 00:08:54,924 Buy order executed. 216 00:08:55,018 --> 00:08:56,571 - (ping) - (gasps) Oh, no. 217 00:08:56,595 --> 00:09:00,539 Maggie. I accidentally bought X-Cell-Ent Burger stock. 218 00:09:00,766 --> 00:09:02,541 Alexa, sell those stocks. 219 00:09:02,726 --> 00:09:04,859 Ordering yellow socks. 220 00:09:04,986 --> 00:09:06,597 You get everything wrong. 221 00:09:06,621 --> 00:09:08,380 We'll switch to Siri. 222 00:09:08,531 --> 00:09:10,048 Siri enabled. 223 00:09:10,199 --> 00:09:12,634 You sound like Alexa. 224 00:09:15,630 --> 00:09:16,888 Oh. 225 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:18,040 X-Cell-Ent Burger. 226 00:09:18,133 --> 00:09:20,278 Well, they seem to be succeeding. 227 00:09:20,302 --> 00:09:22,280 But I'd feel awful if the stock went... 228 00:09:22,304 --> 00:09:24,304 (gasps) Up? It just went up. 229 00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:25,783 We made money! 230 00:09:25,807 --> 00:09:28,975 Seven hundred dollars! 231 00:09:29,127 --> 00:09:31,194 What I could buy with that money. 232 00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:35,632 Now it's down. Down $200. 233 00:09:35,725 --> 00:09:37,150 (gasps) Up again. 234 00:09:37,302 --> 00:09:39,319 (gasps) Down again. 235 00:09:39,471 --> 00:09:41,724 The grand opening's in a week, sir, and the reviews 236 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,323 couldn't be better. 237 00:09:43,475 --> 00:09:46,137 Hmm. Smithers, I'm a hero. 238 00:09:46,161 --> 00:09:48,064 Like that guy who landed the plane safely. 239 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,329 Sully Sullenberger? 240 00:09:49,481 --> 00:09:51,423 No, no, no, no. Rudolf Hess. 241 00:09:51,650 --> 00:09:53,383 Smithers, a toast. 242 00:09:56,822 --> 00:09:58,179 On it, sir. 243 00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:02,100 I think you've had enough, sir. 244 00:10:02,293 --> 00:10:05,415 (woozily): Yes. Yes. I'll... I'll sleep it off. 245 00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:06,991 (snoring) 246 00:10:07,015 --> 00:10:08,993 If it goes up another ten cents, 247 00:10:09,017 --> 00:10:11,588 we're a thousand dollars ahead. 248 00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:14,929 (gasps) We've never been a thousand dollars ahead. 249 00:10:15,023 --> 00:10:17,657 Never. Ooh... 250 00:10:19,268 --> 00:10:20,601 Tonight on Smartline: 251 00:10:20,695 --> 00:10:22,436 The Burger Wars. 252 00:10:22,530 --> 00:10:24,581 ♪ ♪ 253 00:10:42,868 --> 00:10:45,104 They won't give me a raise, but they can blow the bank 254 00:10:45,128 --> 00:10:47,123 on graphics like that. (clears throat) 255 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,774 Leading up to its national rollout, 256 00:10:48,798 --> 00:10:52,208 X-Cell-Ent Burger's success is destroying its competitors, 257 00:10:52,301 --> 00:10:54,205 who are trying to overcome a terrific new product 258 00:10:54,229 --> 00:10:56,212 with desperate publicity stunts. 259 00:10:56,305 --> 00:10:58,209 Attempting to piggyback on Burger King's success 260 00:10:58,233 --> 00:11:00,900 by changing its name during Pride Month to "Burger Queer," 261 00:11:01,052 --> 00:11:03,473 Krusty has introduced his own product: 262 00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:06,289 the L.G.B.T.Q.B.L.T. 263 00:11:08,226 --> 00:11:11,819 How could a ploy this cynical and shameless fail? 264 00:11:11,913 --> 00:11:13,563 (sobs) 265 00:11:13,656 --> 00:11:15,818 Mel, you're three of those letters. 266 00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,083 Where did I go wrong? 267 00:11:17,235 --> 00:11:19,010 Your product is inferior. 268 00:11:19,162 --> 00:11:20,586 Your marketing is offensive. 269 00:11:20,739 --> 00:11:24,257 And you have more ex-wives than franchise locations. 270 00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:27,835 What happened to kiss-ass Mel who was afraid of my shadow? 271 00:11:27,929 --> 00:11:30,171 I joined an empowerment group 272 00:11:30,265 --> 00:11:32,607 with the monkey and the cue card guy. 273 00:11:36,697 --> 00:11:39,698 ♪ ♪ 274 00:11:47,782 --> 00:11:50,709 Aw, geez. My hero's a loser. 275 00:11:50,860 --> 00:11:53,005 Mr. Burns is gonna drive Krusty out of business, 276 00:11:53,029 --> 00:11:54,379 unless we stop him. 277 00:11:54,530 --> 00:11:57,457 No. Burns is doing something good. 278 00:11:57,609 --> 00:11:58,958 I know it in my gut. 279 00:11:59,110 --> 00:12:01,010 The Earth is on his side. 280 00:12:03,798 --> 00:12:04,973 (groans) 281 00:12:09,971 --> 00:12:11,788 (cheering) 282 00:12:11,881 --> 00:12:13,973 Thank you. I love you all. 283 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,027 Disperse them before we get back. 284 00:12:16,127 --> 00:12:17,444 Rubber bullets, if necessary. 285 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,516 It's so wonderful to be be-liked. 286 00:12:23,668 --> 00:12:27,631 Finally, I can join the club that rejected me so many times. 287 00:12:27,655 --> 00:12:29,748 ♪ ♪ 288 00:12:29,899 --> 00:12:31,991 Welcome, welcome. 289 00:12:32,143 --> 00:12:33,712 All the other beloved billionaires are here. 290 00:12:33,736 --> 00:12:35,898 There's Warren Buffet, there's Bill Gates, 291 00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,722 - and that's it. - (tapping) 292 00:12:40,576 --> 00:12:43,072 Mark Zuckerberg, you get out of here. 293 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,241 No! You can't threaten me. 294 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,576 I know all about you. 295 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,933 You're currently single, you haven't been poked 296 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:50,972 in five years, and I love those pictures 297 00:12:50,996 --> 00:12:52,490 from your vacation to Baja, 298 00:12:52,514 --> 00:12:54,680 where we both know your boyfriend dumped you. 299 00:12:54,833 --> 00:12:55,993 Those were set to private. 300 00:12:56,167 --> 00:12:58,985 Right. (chuckles) "Private." 301 00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:08,027 I think I know what Burns is up to. 302 00:13:08,179 --> 00:13:10,933 His so-called vegan burgers contain... wait for it. 303 00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:13,177 - Are you waiting? - Mm-hmm. 304 00:13:13,201 --> 00:13:14,959 Here it is: meat. 305 00:13:15,186 --> 00:13:16,939 (gasps) What are you saying? 306 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,608 All this time I've been eating meat?! 307 00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:21,685 Aah! Ew, ah, ah! (spits) 308 00:13:21,709 --> 00:13:25,448 (groans) Oh, no, that's why I grew an inch. 309 00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:26,472 Just a theory. 310 00:13:26,531 --> 00:13:27,571 Do you believe that? 311 00:13:27,623 --> 00:13:30,199 No. I just wanted the rest of your burger. 312 00:13:30,293 --> 00:13:32,268 ♪ ♪ 313 00:13:42,547 --> 00:13:43,466 (kids gasp) 314 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:46,566 I don't want to see what's inside. 315 00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:48,451 Nerd. 316 00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:51,215 Mm-hmm. 317 00:13:51,239 --> 00:13:53,573 Yep. Just as I thought. 318 00:13:53,725 --> 00:13:55,500 He's using plants. 319 00:13:57,153 --> 00:13:58,481 BART: Aw, crap. 320 00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:01,214 Not meat. Burns is doing the right thing. 321 00:14:12,168 --> 00:14:13,904 This is kind of scary, 322 00:14:13,928 --> 00:14:15,906 like putting on a wet bathing suit. 323 00:14:15,930 --> 00:14:18,598 Wait a minute. Those plants look unusual. 324 00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:19,743 (gasps) 325 00:14:19,767 --> 00:14:21,671 They're all endangered plants 326 00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,840 from the Amazon rainforest. 327 00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:25,416 We have to tell Burns. 328 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,607 He already knows. He's evil. 329 00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:30,201 No. I refuse to believe that someone can't change 330 00:14:30,428 --> 00:14:32,406 for the better, even though I can't think 331 00:14:32,430 --> 00:14:35,373 of a single example of that ever happening. 332 00:14:36,692 --> 00:14:39,021 - Mr. Burns? - Yes, children. 333 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,045 What do you want? 334 00:14:40,196 --> 00:14:42,433 Um, we came to tell you something 335 00:14:42,457 --> 00:14:45,603 that's maybe a little hard to hear. 336 00:14:45,627 --> 00:14:47,147 - Mm? - Uh-huh. 337 00:14:47,962 --> 00:14:49,721 I'm sorry to have to inform you 338 00:14:49,872 --> 00:14:51,872 that your attempt to do good 339 00:14:51,966 --> 00:14:54,445 is doing very, very bad. 340 00:14:54,469 --> 00:14:56,102 Leave me alone. 341 00:14:57,713 --> 00:14:59,689 (engine starts, sputters) 342 00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:02,567 Oh, for God's sake. 343 00:15:04,053 --> 00:15:06,123 - Finally. - Mr. Burns. 344 00:15:06,147 --> 00:15:08,072 (grunts) Release the hounds. 345 00:15:08,299 --> 00:15:10,158 You mean these hounds? 346 00:15:11,060 --> 00:15:12,260 Let's be clear, young lady. 347 00:15:12,395 --> 00:15:13,819 I'm not going to listen to you. 348 00:15:13,972 --> 00:15:15,374 I'm never going to listen to you, 349 00:15:15,398 --> 00:15:17,042 and I have sophisticated technology 350 00:15:17,066 --> 00:15:18,625 to ensure that happens. 351 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,063 Buy, buy, buy! 352 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,973 Then, when you hear a rumor of trouble, 353 00:15:22,997 --> 00:15:24,400 sell before anyone else! 354 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,424 I'll be out of here in four months! 355 00:15:26,651 --> 00:15:29,238 - (TV clicks off) - Oh, what happened to you? 356 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,821 Come over here. What is it, baby? 357 00:15:31,914 --> 00:15:35,099 We have to think of a way to shut X-Cell-Ent Burger down. 358 00:15:35,326 --> 00:15:37,251 But what about the shareholders? 359 00:15:37,345 --> 00:15:39,845 What? Sharehol... Ew. 360 00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:42,418 Ew, ew, ew! 361 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,525 ♪ ♪ 362 00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:51,190 No, no, no! 363 00:15:51,342 --> 00:15:53,434 More money for Marge. 364 00:15:53,528 --> 00:15:55,102 Oh! Oh! 365 00:15:55,196 --> 00:15:57,007 - Dad, you're my last hope. - Mm? 366 00:15:57,031 --> 00:15:58,456 Tomorrow's the national launch. 367 00:15:58,683 --> 00:16:02,018 If X-Cell-Ent Burger succeeds, by the year 2080, 368 00:16:02,111 --> 00:16:03,369 the entire Amazon... 369 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,441 I'm talking the lungs of the planet... 370 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:06,372 Will be gone. 371 00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,277 Lisa, I'm sorry to put it on you, 372 00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,780 but every generation has its to-do list. 373 00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:13,972 Yours is putting Miami on stilts, inventing new bees, 374 00:16:14,199 --> 00:16:17,533 and learning to peacefully live with fire tornadoes. 375 00:16:17,626 --> 00:16:19,271 You're not gonna help fight Burns? 376 00:16:19,295 --> 00:16:20,979 I've learned one thing in life: 377 00:16:21,164 --> 00:16:24,540 don't bite the bony, withered claw that feeds you, 378 00:16:24,633 --> 00:16:27,727 even if there's delicious marrow inside. 379 00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,654 What was this about again? 380 00:16:29,881 --> 00:16:31,305 You won't help save the Earth. 381 00:16:31,399 --> 00:16:33,135 No, I won't. 382 00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,029 I don't know how you sleep at night. 383 00:16:35,053 --> 00:16:37,370 I sleep fine, little lady! 384 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,573 (groaning) 385 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,667 ♪ ♪ 386 00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:50,728 Cheesy McMayor! Jack in the Bag! 387 00:16:50,752 --> 00:16:53,564 Guys, my company is doing something bad. 388 00:16:53,588 --> 00:16:54,904 Should I tell the world? 389 00:16:54,997 --> 00:16:58,085 Look what eating only my own food has done to me. 390 00:16:58,109 --> 00:16:59,517 Look at me! 391 00:16:59,744 --> 00:17:01,728 (cackles) 392 00:17:02,764 --> 00:17:05,097 ♪ You're a spokesman ♪ 393 00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,745 ♪ For a franchise ♪ 394 00:17:07,769 --> 00:17:10,269 ♪ That's clear-cutting ♪ 395 00:17:10,421 --> 00:17:13,847 ♪ Left and right ♪ 396 00:17:13,941 --> 00:17:16,754 ♪ You have sold out ♪ 397 00:17:16,778 --> 00:17:19,682 ♪ All your values ♪ 398 00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,539 ♪ I won't let you ♪ 399 00:17:21,766 --> 00:17:23,949 ♪ Sleep tonight. ♪ 400 00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:25,951 (scats) 401 00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:27,628 (grunting) 402 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,366 ♪ ♪ 403 00:17:33,369 --> 00:17:35,256 (gasps) Once again, dreams have taught me 404 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,107 more than all the books ever written. 405 00:17:37,131 --> 00:17:39,206 I know what I have to do. 406 00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:41,392 (indistinct chatter) 407 00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:45,207 What's going on? Why is everyone baring 408 00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,714 - their teeth at me? - They're smiling, sir. 409 00:17:47,809 --> 00:17:49,009 They can't wait to see you. 410 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:51,121 Oh. Uh, just so I know, 411 00:17:51,145 --> 00:17:52,461 to be considered good 412 00:17:52,555 --> 00:17:55,314 I now have to continue doing good things? 413 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:56,385 - Yes. - Ah. 414 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,301 That's why Jesus retired at 33, 415 00:17:58,394 --> 00:18:00,514 without a fast-food franchise to his name, 416 00:18:00,638 --> 00:18:03,322 except maybe Chick-fil-A. Well, let's get on with 417 00:18:03,491 --> 00:18:05,732 my ascension into sainthood, Smithers. 418 00:18:05,827 --> 00:18:07,919 I'm gonna bring them down. 419 00:18:08,146 --> 00:18:10,399 Are you sure? Think of the shareholders. 420 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:14,150 - For once, I say damn the shareholders. - Mm... 421 00:18:14,243 --> 00:18:16,163 Simpson. After the announcement, 422 00:18:16,245 --> 00:18:17,573 there will be questions from the audience, 423 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,650 but like our burgers, the questioners will be 424 00:18:19,674 --> 00:18:21,490 entirely made up of plants. 425 00:18:21,584 --> 00:18:23,250 I'm ready. 426 00:18:23,344 --> 00:18:25,489 And you do remember your non-disclosure agreement? 427 00:18:25,513 --> 00:18:28,325 I believe it said something to the effect of 428 00:18:28,349 --> 00:18:30,753 I was limited to certain words and phrases, 429 00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:33,778 and I couldn't make obscene gestures with my hands. 430 00:18:34,005 --> 00:18:35,504 Or... 431 00:18:35,598 --> 00:18:37,242 - Crotch. - Excellent. 432 00:18:37,266 --> 00:18:39,784 Excellent. (grunts) 433 00:18:40,011 --> 00:18:41,694 (cheering) 434 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:44,330 Mr. Simpson will now take questions. 435 00:18:45,366 --> 00:18:48,108 Yes. The little girl in the mustache. 436 00:18:48,202 --> 00:18:49,293 Thank you, sir. 437 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:51,107 Is it true that X-Cell-Ent Burgers 438 00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:53,464 are made of plants from the rainforest? 439 00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:58,447 Abso-lettuce. 440 00:18:58,471 --> 00:18:59,471 (all gasp) 441 00:18:59,530 --> 00:19:01,881 Uh-huh. And what are the chances 442 00:19:02,033 --> 00:19:03,452 that your product will help lead 443 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,685 to the destruction of the planet? 444 00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:09,458 I guaran-tree it. 445 00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:10,982 (gasping) 446 00:19:11,133 --> 00:19:14,193 Using legal loopholes to tell us the truth. 447 00:19:16,047 --> 00:19:18,214 A supersize admission in the burger wars. 448 00:19:18,307 --> 00:19:20,544 Have we been fed an order of lies, or worse... 449 00:19:20,568 --> 00:19:21,734 Curly lies? 450 00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:22,994 Good God, I'm hungry. 451 00:19:23,145 --> 00:19:25,237 (all clamoring) 452 00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:28,666 I did it again. I won by doing nothing. 453 00:19:28,893 --> 00:19:30,075 That's my hero. 454 00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:31,669 Always will be. 455 00:19:31,820 --> 00:19:33,390 Round up some more donkeys. 456 00:19:33,414 --> 00:19:35,651 We're in the burger business again. 457 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:38,083 Mom, I'm so conflicted. 458 00:19:38,236 --> 00:19:39,735 You're conflicted? 459 00:19:39,828 --> 00:19:43,066 I feel like someone who knew a stock was about to crash, 460 00:19:43,090 --> 00:19:46,236 sold it before that happened, and kept a thousand dollars. 461 00:19:46,260 --> 00:19:47,300 What are you saying? 462 00:19:47,336 --> 00:19:49,270 Nothing. Nothing, nothing. 463 00:19:50,248 --> 00:19:51,667 (crowd booing, shouting) 464 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:53,076 (sighs) This is the time 465 00:19:53,100 --> 00:19:55,193 he really needs you to look at him. 466 00:19:55,344 --> 00:19:57,320 ♪ ♪ 467 00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,275 - Sir. You're happy. - Yes. 468 00:20:03,428 --> 00:20:06,019 Because I'm no longer crushed by morality. 469 00:20:06,113 --> 00:20:08,273 I gave it a nice go... Almost a full month... 470 00:20:08,433 --> 00:20:11,116 But in the end, evil always wins. 471 00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:12,930 Would you like to go to a school for the blind 472 00:20:12,954 --> 00:20:14,857 and convince them aliens have landed? 473 00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:17,340 BURNS: Mm. I'd like that. 474 00:20:27,134 --> 00:20:29,894 - (sighs) - ♪ You listened ♪ 475 00:20:30,045 --> 00:20:32,730 ♪ To your conscience, kapow ♪ 476 00:20:32,957 --> 00:20:34,565 ♪ And now you're ♪ 477 00:20:34,792 --> 00:20:38,047 ♪ Feelin' fine ♪ 478 00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:41,513 ♪ And you're dreamin' ♪ 479 00:20:41,665 --> 00:20:44,628 ♪ Of me singin' ♪ 480 00:20:44,652 --> 00:20:45,796 ♪ 'Cause you drank ♪ 481 00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:49,247 ♪ Two-dollar wine. ♪ 482 00:20:51,066 --> 00:20:52,641 Tell me when it hurts. 483 00:20:52,735 --> 00:20:55,806 It hurt from the beginning! 484 00:21:29,605 --> 00:21:31,580 Shh. 485 00:21:31,604 --> 00:21:33,604 >>>>oakislandtk<<<<< www.opensubtitles.org 485 00:21:34,305 --> 00:22:34,802 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/6x5gq Help other users to choose the best subtitles