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T H E
S I M P S O N S
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*THE SIMPSONS*
Season 32 Episode 19
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Homer, the results of your
physical are very concerning.
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00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,650
You're 80 pounds
overweight.
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I wore my socks
on the scale.
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00:00:15,414 --> 00:00:17,531
And your cholesterol
is sky-high.
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Go big or go home.
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Oh, and your testosterone
is just a little bit low.
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(gasps)
Testosterone?
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That's what fuels
my punching and yelling.
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00:00:26,007 --> 00:00:27,649
And my undeserved confidence.
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Now I'll never be
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an NFL quarterback/international
superspy.
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(Moans)
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Don't worry, low T is very
common amongst men your age.
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It can be treated
with a prescription drug
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called Vicodude.
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- Pill me up.
- But before I give you the drug,
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I just need you to watch
this short informational video.
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There's an ad first?
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If I had more testosterone,
I'd kill you.
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A single truck can't possibly be
best in its class
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in torque, towing and payload.
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- (shouts)
- Think again, Professor Killjoy.
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[♪]
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Man up with the Road Monster
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Triple-XL 550.
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The Triple-XL 550
delivers ultimate tow,
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ultimate payload
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and ultimate torque.
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The Triple-XL 550.
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It's what a man drives.
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Dr. Hibbert, you're a genius.
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That truck
is exactly what I need.
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No, what you need
is medication.
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Wrong again,
Professor Killjoy.
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See you next year.
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Not if this chart is right.
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(chuckles)
Ooh.
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Peonies are such
interesting flowers.
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They need less water, but...
(screams)
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(screams)
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Look what the doctor
made me get.
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(growls)
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(chuckles)
You know it, baby.
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The engine growls
just like that.
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And don't worry, it has
maximum torque for its class
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and the highest possible
ranking from J.D. Power.
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What about his associates?
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Oh, you know they're on board.
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- (laughs)
- Look at me.
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I'm a payload.
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This truck is an offense to
everything I hold dear, and...
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Oh, but it comes with a family
subscription to Slapify,
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the music streaming service.
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I don't know what that is,
but I'm great for having it.
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Whoa, and check out
the picture on the back-up cam.
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It even has infrared.
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(thudding)
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Okay, Slapify,
let's see if your algorithm
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can predict my taste.
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(snickers)
Good luck.
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Age: Eight.
Gender: Female.
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How did you hear about
our service: Truck.
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Oh, it already has suggestions.
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(pop music playing)
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Meh. A little trendy,
not for me.
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(alternative rock playing)
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Okay, but still
pretty mainstream.
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(sighs)
Good taste is a curse,
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but I'm sure a great song
is just a click away.
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- (mouse clicking)
- LISA: Mm-mm. Hmm. Uh...
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"If you hate everything,
you might like this."
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Quilloughby?
Never heard of him.
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"Quilloughby and his British
bandmates, the Snuffs,
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"dominated the '80s indie scene
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with their brand
of literate, sardonic..."
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Ooh, sardonic.
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"...music that focused
on Quilloughby's obsessions,
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especially his
militant vegetarianism."
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[♪]
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♪ The flesh that you cover
with cheese ♪
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♪ Is proof
of your moral disease ♪
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♪ It's death for no reason ♪
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♪ And death for no reason ♪
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♪ Is hamburger homicide. ♪
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(lowing)
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Oh! Yes.
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(school bell ringing)
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Quilloughby's music
is so smart and dour and jangly
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and no one has seen him in
30 years, he's a famous recluse.
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And his commitment to
animal rights is so inspiring.
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(gasps) I just had
the most amazing idea.
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Lisa doesn't like it
when other people talk.
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Attention, Elementarians.
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Inspired by
my new favorite musician,
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whom I'm sure
you've never heard of,
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today is the first
Mushroom Monday.
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So dig in to these
all-vegan mushroom tacos.
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Mushrooms?
Those are chairs for toads.
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Don't you see?
The flesh that you cover with cheese
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is proof of your moral disease.
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Gah?
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Just give them a chance.
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So delicious.
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Three kinds of ground mushrooms:
Portobello, shiitake...
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Don't forget the yummy
little pieces of bacon.
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(shouting, coughing)
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Ew, ew, ew.
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You said these were vegan.
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But they are.
Vegetables plus bacon.
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"Vegon." Am I wrong?
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(gasps)
I ate meat.
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Haw-haw!
This taco had a mom.
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ALL:
Mmm...
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(crying)
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(laughter)
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Everyone at my school
is a jerk.
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Why are they so mean?
Why?
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Is the problem me?
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QUILLOUGHBY:
The problem is never you.
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It's those sour-breathed
know-nothing sheep
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who graze the blighted meadows
of your so-called school.
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Gah?
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00:05:51,005 --> 00:05:54,098
Okay, it was probably
just a bacon hallucination.
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Quilloughby isn't actually
in my room.
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I'm traumatized by eating meat.
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You must stop
talking to yourself.
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People will think
you've gone mad.
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- (screams)
- [♪]
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You're not real the real
Quilloughby. You're imaginary.
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I've gone crazy.
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♪ Master of the obvious ♪
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♪ Ensconced in her dreadful
red frock. ♪
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I don't want to be crazy.
Not this kind of crazy.
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Just get out of here.
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Hey, Lis, what you pointing at?
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Some bacon
you want to eat?
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I've got a pig nose.
Want to eat me?
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(snorting)
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(snorting, laughs)
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(all snorting)
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(crying)
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- (whispers indistinctly)
- Oh.
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Mm-hmm.
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Bart, slowly,
almost imperceptibly,
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your friends
are growing tired of you.
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What... what? I'm the drumstick
of this chicken bucket.
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00:06:52,066 --> 00:06:54,335
(laughs) They're not
getting tired of me.
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Of course we're not, Bart.
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Wait, what was that look?
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What look?
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(Lisa chuckles)
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You guys are not
getting tired of me.
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(yawns)
156
00:07:06,823 --> 00:07:08,690
No, no, I was just yawning
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because I stayed up late,
thinking about your pranks.
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Still so fresh.
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(both chuckle)
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Quilloughby, you completely
ruined my brother
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with just one sentence.
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Thank you.
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Oh, there's nothing
more tiresome than gratitude.
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I think I'm gonna like
hallucinating you.
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Here's a gift.
Put this on your faded Army jacket.
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(gasps)
Oh, my God.
167
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You think I'm cool enough
to wear a faded Army jacket.
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Hmm. Keep in mind,
I'm merely a product
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of your fractured psyche.
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Oh, shut up, don't ruin it.
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(laughs)
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(Homer humming)
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Hey, Homer, ever so slowly,
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your friends
are growing tired of you.
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With this much testosterone?
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No way, baby.
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Aw. Take me
for a ride in your truck.
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Trucks aren't for driving.
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00:08:02,303 --> 00:08:04,321
They're for doing
kick-ass truck stuff.
180
00:08:04,472 --> 00:08:06,940
Have you actually done
any truck stuff?
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Put it on.
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[♪]
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(grunting, shouting)
184
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But I don't want this.
185
00:08:17,678 --> 00:08:18,936
You're welcome!
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[♪]
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For an imaginary friend,
you were really keen
188
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to get out of the house.
189
00:08:41,533 --> 00:08:43,918
Ugh, that small woman
was such a bore.
190
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Oh. Maggie's a baby,
and she was sleeping.
191
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Even she knows it.
192
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,934
This place reminds me
of my own hometown.
193
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It's dismal and nothing good
will ever come from it.
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Well, almost nothing.
195
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(chuckles)
Get out your tickers and tape,
196
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here comes the prat parade.
197
00:09:00,259 --> 00:09:03,534
Facial hair is not
a substitute for personality.
198
00:09:03,619 --> 00:09:06,595
Two times zero is still zero.
199
00:09:06,790 --> 00:09:09,364
(sniffs) Bit early
for the apricot brandy,
200
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- is it not, Vicar?
- (laughs)
201
00:09:11,845 --> 00:09:14,472
Quilloughby,
is there anyone you do like?
202
00:09:14,556 --> 00:09:17,088
Yeah, well, let me
tell you something, Lisa.
203
00:09:17,173 --> 00:09:18,571
[♪]
204
00:09:18,712 --> 00:09:21,035
♪ Every day I try to smile ♪
205
00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:24,397
♪ But can't help but frown ♪
206
00:09:25,767 --> 00:09:28,376
♪ Every day I draw my bath ♪
207
00:09:28,461 --> 00:09:31,362
♪ And pray I will drown ♪
208
00:09:32,577 --> 00:09:36,353
♪ I step out my door
and I take a deep breath ♪
209
00:09:36,439 --> 00:09:39,939
♪ Turn back inside
and pray for my death ♪
210
00:09:40,024 --> 00:09:41,850
♪ 'Cause everyone is horrid ♪
211
00:09:41,935 --> 00:09:44,695
♪ Except me and possibly you ♪
212
00:09:44,902 --> 00:09:46,419
♪ Possibly me ♪
213
00:09:46,567 --> 00:09:48,563
♪ Oh, everyone is horrid ♪
214
00:09:48,648 --> 00:09:53,426
♪ And my dear,
I fear you are, too ♪
215
00:09:53,511 --> 00:09:55,189
♪ Oh. ♪
216
00:10:01,609 --> 00:10:05,019
[♪]
217
00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:07,541
- (plays note)
- Lisa Simpson.
218
00:10:07,626 --> 00:10:10,769
Those measures were supposed
to be pianissimo,
219
00:10:10,853 --> 00:10:15,281
but instead they were sforzando
and scherzando.
220
00:10:15,413 --> 00:10:16,954
(chuckles,
whispering indistinctly)
221
00:10:18,269 --> 00:10:21,079
(both laugh)
222
00:10:21,164 --> 00:10:23,588
Well, would you care
to share your private tee-hees
223
00:10:23,673 --> 00:10:24,624
with the class?
224
00:10:24,709 --> 00:10:27,713
I was just thinking,
every day you wave that wand,
225
00:10:27,798 --> 00:10:30,853
and yet nothing magical
ever happens.
226
00:10:30,938 --> 00:10:32,288
(laughter)
227
00:10:32,939 --> 00:10:35,468
You're a smart-mouthed
little sass pants.
228
00:10:35,553 --> 00:10:39,837
And you're a sad little man
whose best days never happened.
229
00:10:39,922 --> 00:10:41,066
(all gasping)
230
00:10:41,151 --> 00:10:42,087
(gasps)
231
00:10:42,172 --> 00:10:43,785
I'm not sad, I'm happy.
232
00:10:43,870 --> 00:10:46,387
And 5'8" is a very nice height
for a fella.
233
00:10:46,472 --> 00:10:47,798
Very nice.
234
00:10:47,944 --> 00:10:49,944
(crying)
235
00:10:50,197 --> 00:10:52,228
Lisa, I enjoyed that.
236
00:10:52,374 --> 00:10:54,457
And I enjoy nothing.
237
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,119
Mr. and Mrs. Simpson,
I called you in here
238
00:10:58,204 --> 00:11:01,661
because Lisa's behavior has
become wry, sardonic, and yes,
239
00:11:01,746 --> 00:11:03,423
poetically world-weary.
240
00:11:03,508 --> 00:11:04,861
I know what's going on.
241
00:11:04,946 --> 00:11:07,021
Lisa's become infatuated
242
00:11:07,106 --> 00:11:09,456
with this snobby, judgy,
British crooner
243
00:11:09,541 --> 00:11:11,040
- from the '80s.
- Hmm.
244
00:11:11,125 --> 00:11:12,191
Hmm...
245
00:11:12,863 --> 00:11:14,259
Oh...
246
00:11:14,344 --> 00:11:15,602
You're right to worry.
247
00:11:15,687 --> 00:11:18,004
With the popularity of
the Slapify streaming service,
248
00:11:18,089 --> 00:11:20,072
I'm seeing more children
becoming lost
249
00:11:20,157 --> 00:11:21,666
in the music of the past.
250
00:11:21,924 --> 00:11:24,408
♪ Oh, here she comes ♪
251
00:11:24,501 --> 00:11:27,094
♪ Watch out, boy,
she'll chew you up ♪
252
00:11:27,246 --> 00:11:29,263
♪ Oh, here she comes ♪
253
00:11:29,415 --> 00:11:32,184
♪ She's a man-eater! ♪
254
00:11:32,268 --> 00:11:34,248
Well, we take this
very seriously.
255
00:11:34,333 --> 00:11:36,149
My husband and I are
going to have
256
00:11:36,259 --> 00:11:38,426
a heart-to-heart
with our daughter tonight.
257
00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:39,858
Isn't that right, Homer?
258
00:11:40,637 --> 00:11:42,312
Oh.
259
00:11:43,087 --> 00:11:46,605
You don't tow me! I tow you!
260
00:11:46,721 --> 00:11:48,115
Stop resisting!
261
00:11:48,267 --> 00:11:50,451
Surrender to my mighty torque!
262
00:11:50,603 --> 00:11:53,296
- Never!
- (both grunting)
263
00:11:54,494 --> 00:11:55,927
(seatbelt clicks, engine starts)
264
00:11:57,666 --> 00:11:59,633
(grunting)
265
00:12:03,299 --> 00:12:05,299
What has gotten into you?
266
00:12:05,451 --> 00:12:07,719
You used to be
such a happy little girl.
267
00:12:07,803 --> 00:12:09,221
When?
268
00:12:09,305 --> 00:12:11,397
Okay, but never like this...
269
00:12:11,548 --> 00:12:12,973
With the sour attitude,
270
00:12:13,126 --> 00:12:14,400
and the black booties.
271
00:12:14,551 --> 00:12:17,144
You've become a crab...
No, a pill!
272
00:12:17,296 --> 00:12:20,503
Lisa, darling,
please silence the din.
273
00:12:20,891 --> 00:12:22,241
[♪]
274
00:12:22,393 --> 00:12:24,214
(grunts) That's it!
275
00:12:24,299 --> 00:12:26,858
I'm cancelling
your music subscription.
276
00:12:26,943 --> 00:12:30,051
Jiggly... and bloop.
277
00:12:30,136 --> 00:12:32,441
- (both gasp)
- Shocking.
278
00:12:32,526 --> 00:12:33,793
(Lisa straining)
279
00:12:33,994 --> 00:12:35,413
(Quilloughby moans)
280
00:12:35,498 --> 00:12:37,785
How can Mom take away
the only place
281
00:12:37,870 --> 00:12:39,251
I can hear your music?
282
00:12:39,335 --> 00:12:41,427
Maybe not the only place.
283
00:12:41,512 --> 00:12:43,621
Apparently, this is happening.
284
00:12:44,216 --> 00:12:45,483
Hmm.
285
00:12:45,604 --> 00:12:47,259
(gasps) Oh, my God.
286
00:12:47,343 --> 00:12:50,269
I can see you.
I mean, the real you.
287
00:12:50,496 --> 00:12:52,246
Well, you're in for
a treat, my dear.
288
00:12:52,331 --> 00:12:54,024
My live shows are, quote,
289
00:12:54,109 --> 00:12:57,423
"like a three-hour dance party
in a freshly-dug grave."
290
00:12:57,508 --> 00:12:59,612
David Fricke,
Rolling Stone magazine, 1987.
291
00:12:59,763 --> 00:13:02,441
Oh, but Marge will never
let me go.
292
00:13:02,525 --> 00:13:05,110
And even if she would,
I don't have enough money.
293
00:13:05,194 --> 00:13:08,028
Those tickets cost,
like, five Lego sets.
294
00:13:08,113 --> 00:13:09,727
Look in your pocket, Lisa.
295
00:13:10,024 --> 00:13:11,617
(gasps)
296
00:13:11,701 --> 00:13:13,534
My dad's credit card.
297
00:13:13,619 --> 00:13:16,146
Did you steal this?
Did I?
298
00:13:16,231 --> 00:13:18,064
A little of both.
It's complicated.
299
00:13:18,192 --> 00:13:20,321
Sometimes I identify
as imaginary,
300
00:13:20,430 --> 00:13:21,886
but sometimes I can do this.
301
00:13:21,970 --> 00:13:24,044
(grunts, laughs)
302
00:13:24,508 --> 00:13:26,738
Ow, the zipper!
303
00:13:26,823 --> 00:13:29,416
(both grunting, laughing)
304
00:13:29,501 --> 00:13:30,727
Ow! Oh!
305
00:13:30,984 --> 00:13:33,025
(grunting)
306
00:13:34,877 --> 00:13:36,728
What?
I'm a little stressed out.
307
00:13:36,813 --> 00:13:38,993
Making sandwiches
calms my nerves.
308
00:13:40,896 --> 00:13:43,274
Ooh, sandwiches!
309
00:13:44,641 --> 00:13:47,319
Lisa is sullen, dressing weird,
310
00:13:47,403 --> 00:13:50,305
obsessed with English music...
311
00:13:50,399 --> 00:13:53,478
(gasps) Our eight-year-old has
turned into a teenager.
312
00:13:53,563 --> 00:13:57,297
Well, from now on, I'm going to
pay very close attention to her.
313
00:13:57,461 --> 00:14:01,248
Marge, little girls are a lot
like all-wheel anti-lock brakes:
314
00:14:01,563 --> 00:14:03,651
When road conditions
are unpredictable...
315
00:14:03,736 --> 00:14:07,048
We're talking about
your daughter, not a vehicle.
316
00:14:07,133 --> 00:14:10,783
Well, both do have maximum
torque for their class.
317
00:14:10,868 --> 00:14:13,178
Will you shut up
about the damn truck?
318
00:14:13,262 --> 00:14:15,272
(whimpers)
But the truck is who I am.
319
00:14:15,356 --> 00:14:18,517
It's a perfect fit for my manly,
off-road lifestyle.
320
00:14:18,601 --> 00:14:19,851
Oh, really?
321
00:14:19,935 --> 00:14:21,343
You hate the outdoors.
322
00:14:21,437 --> 00:14:22,753
You've never been camping.
323
00:14:22,888 --> 00:14:24,672
You've never hauled
or towed anything,
324
00:14:24,757 --> 00:14:27,366
or shown any interest
in hauling or towing.
325
00:14:27,593 --> 00:14:30,444
And please, tell me the meaning
of the word "torque."
326
00:14:30,596 --> 00:14:34,436
The smoke hole where
the truck's farts come out?
327
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,433
Torque is
the tendency of a force
328
00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:39,453
to rotate the body to which
it is applied. Like this!
329
00:14:39,605 --> 00:14:41,373
(grunts) Homer J. Simpson,
330
00:14:41,457 --> 00:14:43,801
you are not a truck guy!
331
00:14:43,885 --> 00:14:47,553
(sobbing)
332
00:14:47,780 --> 00:14:50,722
Now, I'm going to deal with
an actual problem:
333
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:54,017
Our daughter's
pre-pre-teen rebellion.
334
00:14:54,970 --> 00:14:57,379
(screams) Lisa's gone!
335
00:14:58,733 --> 00:15:02,728
I'm going to my first music
festival with my best friend!
336
00:15:02,812 --> 00:15:05,404
Uh, best imaginary friend.
337
00:15:05,631 --> 00:15:07,882
Right. I guess
I didn't need to buy
338
00:15:07,967 --> 00:15:09,950
two VIP passes, then.
339
00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:11,143
Sorry, Dad!
340
00:15:11,228 --> 00:15:13,153
(both laugh)
341
00:15:13,306 --> 00:15:15,741
Oh, the pain of laughter...
342
00:15:15,996 --> 00:15:19,091
(laughing)
343
00:15:21,896 --> 00:15:23,545
Our daughter is by herself
344
00:15:23,630 --> 00:15:25,827
at an outdoor
music whoop-de-doo!
345
00:15:25,912 --> 00:15:28,224
And she's using
my stolen credit card.
346
00:15:28,724 --> 00:15:29,641
- (chimes)
- What?
347
00:15:29,764 --> 00:15:30,821
- (chimes)
- Huh?
348
00:15:30,914 --> 00:15:31,989
- (chimes)
- Hey...
349
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,262
No...
350
00:15:34,612 --> 00:15:37,463
Ugh, this combines my two
least favorite things...
351
00:15:37,605 --> 00:15:40,374
Other people's music,
and other people.
352
00:15:40,459 --> 00:15:42,851
Yeah, but we're going to see
the real you perform.
353
00:15:43,002 --> 00:15:44,771
Ooh, do you think you'll play
354
00:15:44,896 --> 00:15:46,437
"Labour Action
at the Biscuit Factory"
355
00:15:46,522 --> 00:15:48,273
or "Simon Has a Birthmark"?
356
00:15:48,357 --> 00:15:50,116
How dreadfully predictable...
357
00:15:50,201 --> 00:15:52,184
but the nippers must suckle.
358
00:15:52,269 --> 00:15:53,861
(playing rock music)
359
00:15:54,013 --> 00:15:55,437
Oh, these bands are
all rubbish,
360
00:15:55,531 --> 00:15:57,865
and this sun is too... sunny.
361
00:15:57,959 --> 00:16:00,377
Quilloughby, this festival
is our dream.
362
00:16:00,461 --> 00:16:03,462
Stop being such a, such a...
363
00:16:03,689 --> 00:16:04,956
Such a pill?
364
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:06,540
Oh. Sorry, Marge.
365
00:16:06,634 --> 00:16:09,612
Hey, I'm just trying
to have a fun day.
366
00:16:09,697 --> 00:16:11,472
Oh, a "fun day."
367
00:16:11,599 --> 00:16:14,128
Why don't we all just
have fizzy drinks
368
00:16:14,213 --> 00:16:15,988
and rainbow lollipops?
369
00:16:16,073 --> 00:16:18,316
Oh, la-di-da-di-da.
370
00:16:18,401 --> 00:16:19,872
(singsongy):
Happy, happy, happy.
371
00:16:19,957 --> 00:16:24,115
Vacuous animals waiting
for the slaughter.
372
00:16:27,021 --> 00:16:28,997
Well, it's a good thing
Dad got this truck.
373
00:16:29,184 --> 00:16:30,180
- Oh, my God.
- You see, Marge?
374
00:16:30,265 --> 00:16:31,443
- I never want to hear another word...
- Bart gets it.
375
00:16:31,527 --> 00:16:32,869
- ...about this truck.
- The truck is awesome.
376
00:16:32,953 --> 00:16:34,513
- It makes me so mad!
- You don't get it
377
00:16:34,622 --> 00:16:36,056
- and you never will!
- Truck this, truck that.
378
00:16:36,140 --> 00:16:38,132
- Truck, truck, truck, truck...
- I wish I was married to Bart!
379
00:16:38,216 --> 00:16:39,975
(cackling)
380
00:16:40,127 --> 00:16:41,977
Ugh! You never stop whining!
381
00:16:42,071 --> 00:16:43,645
The term is "whinging."
382
00:16:43,739 --> 00:16:46,314
- Conspicuous eye roll.
- (groans)
383
00:16:46,467 --> 00:16:48,483
I used to think
you just hated bad art
384
00:16:48,568 --> 00:16:49,885
and cruelty to animals
385
00:16:49,970 --> 00:16:51,905
and people who wear
baseball hats,
386
00:16:51,989 --> 00:16:55,179
but it turns out
you hate everything!
387
00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:58,577
But, Lisa,
I thought that was our bond.
388
00:16:58,662 --> 00:17:00,281
ANNOUNCER:
Coming now to the main stage...
389
00:17:00,365 --> 00:17:01,874
- (cheering)
- performing for the first time
390
00:17:01,958 --> 00:17:03,393
in over 30 years...
391
00:17:03,478 --> 00:17:05,396
Quilloughby and the Snuffs.
392
00:17:05,481 --> 00:17:07,148
(gasps) This is it...
393
00:17:07,233 --> 00:17:08,241
The real you!
394
00:17:08,326 --> 00:17:09,676
(giggles)
395
00:17:12,088 --> 00:17:13,403
Oh, dear God, no!
396
00:17:13,567 --> 00:17:15,734
I look like bloody Churchill!
397
00:17:15,996 --> 00:17:17,850
(audience cheering)
398
00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:22,267
Shut your gobs, you wankers!
399
00:17:22,352 --> 00:17:23,528
(gasping)
400
00:17:23,612 --> 00:17:26,521
Woo-hoo! Wankers!
401
00:17:26,674 --> 00:17:29,524
Can't you see this show
is just a cash grab?
402
00:17:29,618 --> 00:17:31,343
I'm only here
because I lost my fortune
403
00:17:31,436 --> 00:17:33,528
suing people for saying things
about me
404
00:17:33,681 --> 00:17:35,789
that were completely true.
405
00:17:35,874 --> 00:17:38,133
(booing)
406
00:17:38,218 --> 00:17:39,706
Is this what I turned into?
407
00:17:39,791 --> 00:17:41,613
I'm greedy, I'm hateful,
408
00:17:41,698 --> 00:17:44,623
and my face looks like
a syphilitic moon.
409
00:17:44,708 --> 00:17:46,449
Well, it's not your fault
you got old.
410
00:17:46,543 --> 00:17:47,886
Sting is old.
411
00:17:47,970 --> 00:17:50,971
Old Sting's bloody gorgeous,
and he knows it.
412
00:17:51,198 --> 00:17:53,790
(booing)
413
00:17:53,884 --> 00:17:55,124
Oh, boo-hoo!
414
00:17:55,219 --> 00:17:59,965
You can jeer while
I enjoy this pastrami on rye.
415
00:18:00,050 --> 00:18:01,056
(horrified gasps)
416
00:18:01,208 --> 00:18:02,483
But you're vegan!
417
00:18:02,634 --> 00:18:03,967
I was,
418
00:18:04,061 --> 00:18:06,878
until I found out veganism
was invented by foreigners,
419
00:18:06,972 --> 00:18:09,823
of whom there are far too many
on this planet!
420
00:18:09,975 --> 00:18:11,233
(gasping)
421
00:18:11,385 --> 00:18:13,810
That's right,
I hate the foreign!
422
00:18:13,904 --> 00:18:16,656
Coming to this country
and taking our jobs!
423
00:18:16,740 --> 00:18:19,084
Sleeping with our men!
424
00:18:19,168 --> 00:18:20,618
But you're a foreigner!
425
00:18:20,702 --> 00:18:23,912
And you took the job
of sad, washed-up rock star.
426
00:18:24,064 --> 00:18:27,341
No! You turned your back
on veganism.
427
00:18:27,568 --> 00:18:30,729
And you're also a huge racist.
428
00:18:31,475 --> 00:18:34,885
♪ Because everything is horrid
except meat ♪
429
00:18:35,166 --> 00:18:37,936
♪ So slag off to you! ♪
430
00:18:38,020 --> 00:18:40,680
(angry shouting)
431
00:18:40,764 --> 00:18:43,516
Lisa, dear, don't let him
happen to you.
432
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,692
Try not to sneer
at everything.
433
00:18:45,844 --> 00:18:48,103
And listen to others,
at least a bit.
434
00:18:48,188 --> 00:18:49,871
Perhaps one out of five times,
435
00:18:49,956 --> 00:18:52,031
but I can't tell you
which times.
436
00:18:52,259 --> 00:18:53,693
Thanks, Quilloughby.
437
00:18:53,777 --> 00:18:55,361
You're the best imaginary friend
438
00:18:55,445 --> 00:18:58,113
a complicated eight-year-old
could ever ask for.
439
00:18:58,198 --> 00:18:59,523
(sighs)
440
00:18:59,608 --> 00:19:01,850
But I think we both know
it's time for you to go.
441
00:19:01,944 --> 00:19:02,903
(sniffles)
442
00:19:02,988 --> 00:19:05,247
I'm going to miss you,
443
00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:07,725
you bloody wanker.
444
00:19:13,297 --> 00:19:14,591
Okay, okay, okay,
445
00:19:14,676 --> 00:19:17,084
I'm going to play a few songs
off my new album.
446
00:19:17,301 --> 00:19:21,061
It's entitled
Refugees? Again?
447
00:19:21,212 --> 00:19:24,255
(angry shouting)
448
00:19:30,964 --> 00:19:32,239
(horns honking)
449
00:19:32,390 --> 00:19:34,734
Stupid millennial traffic.
450
00:19:34,818 --> 00:19:36,243
RADIO ANNOUNCER:
This just in:
451
00:19:36,328 --> 00:19:37,936
A full-scale riot
has broken out
452
00:19:38,021 --> 00:19:39,646
at the Bummershoot Festival.
453
00:19:39,910 --> 00:19:42,354
(gasps) But Lisa's in there!
454
00:19:42,439 --> 00:19:43,681
Who will save her?
455
00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:47,410
Did someone call
for a truck guy?
456
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,967
[♪]
457
00:20:00,085 --> 00:20:02,102
(chanting):
Misplaced anger!
458
00:20:02,251 --> 00:20:04,101
Misplaced anger!
459
00:20:04,331 --> 00:20:06,588
Somebody save me!
460
00:20:15,008 --> 00:20:16,617
(engine revving)
461
00:20:16,768 --> 00:20:18,619
Torque, don't fail me now.
462
00:20:18,770 --> 00:20:20,954
ALL:
Truck, truck, hooray!
463
00:20:21,106 --> 00:20:23,283
Truck, truck, hooray...
464
00:20:23,367 --> 00:20:24,625
(chuckles)
465
00:20:24,776 --> 00:20:27,746
Homer. Homer. Homer, wake up.
466
00:20:27,854 --> 00:20:29,738
He fell asleep while driving?
467
00:20:29,823 --> 00:20:32,874
No, we got stuck in traffic
and ran out of gas,
468
00:20:32,968 --> 00:20:34,376
so Dad ate a garbage bag
469
00:20:34,470 --> 00:20:36,637
full of Mom's PB&Js
and passed out.
470
00:20:36,788 --> 00:20:38,639
Thanks for walking over
and getting me.
471
00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:41,901
Me and Trucky saved the day.
472
00:20:42,219 --> 00:20:44,815
Sure you did, Homer.
473
00:20:44,980 --> 00:20:47,481
Testosterone...
474
00:20:49,300 --> 00:20:51,236
I don't know what came
over me, Mom.
475
00:20:51,495 --> 00:20:53,152
I was sullen, moody,
476
00:20:53,237 --> 00:20:55,647
thought everybody except me
was an idiot...
477
00:20:55,732 --> 00:20:58,625
Wait, is that what
being a teenager is like?
478
00:20:58,710 --> 00:21:00,777
Well, sometimes, sweetie.
479
00:21:00,862 --> 00:21:02,655
Were you ever like that?
480
00:21:02,739 --> 00:21:06,877
Blue mascara is who I am,
Mom!
481
00:21:07,211 --> 00:21:11,155
You're just jealous because
you can't pull off hot pants.
482
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:12,924
For your information,
I was going
483
00:21:13,009 --> 00:21:14,110
to break up with Homer.
484
00:21:14,199 --> 00:21:16,458
But if you hate him,
he must be great.
485
00:21:16,870 --> 00:21:20,013
Honey, whatever phases
you go through,
486
00:21:20,165 --> 00:21:22,175
I'll always be waiting for you
487
00:21:22,259 --> 00:21:24,685
on the other side
of the slammed door.
488
00:21:24,836 --> 00:21:26,244
- Mm.
- Mm.
489
00:21:26,671 --> 00:21:28,589
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
490
00:21:28,673 --> 00:21:30,582
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
491
00:21:30,675 --> 00:21:32,584
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
492
00:21:32,668 --> 00:21:35,638
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org