That Christmas of 1968,
my brother, Wayne, and I fell in love.
With color-TV.
It was more than love. It was lust
We were witnessing a modern miracle.
And we worshipped it like aborigines...
From the black-and-white stone-age.
It was the first thing we ever agreed on.
- Cool. - Boss.
Even Mom and Karen tended to mist up...
In the presence of that almost-living color.
- Hello, can I help you?
Yeah.
Load a dozen of these babies into the car
and make it snappy.
Well...
Unfortunately, there was...
one very small, very minor, hitch.
You'd really have to...talk to my husband.
- You gotta be joking
eight bucks for a crummy little stick like this?
Buck-a-foot...
That's highway robbery.
Not that my father was Scrooge.
It's just that...
every year around this time, he - he'd go into kind of a...
Slump.
Next year we're gonna skip the damn tree.
It was a bad time to be hittin' him up for a major appliance.
Still, in an emergency,
there were ways to the big guy's heart.
Here, let me help you with that, Dad.
You had to kill him with kindness...
Drown him in good-will.
Hey, I got it!
All the while, sending him very specific, psychic messages.
TV, TV, TV, TV, TV, TV...
You OK?
Sure! Why?
Looks like you got a headache.
Of course, you didn't want to tip your hand.
So, Dad. You gonna buy us that color TV, or not?
Of a sledgehammer.
What TV?
He didn't tell you?
What do we need a color TV for?
So you can watch things. In color!
Watch what?
Bonanza!
Baseball! Football!
Uh...baseball!
TV's cost money, kids.
- And money doesn't grow on trees.
Ya know that.
Yeah. We did know that.
If there was one thing we knew,
it was that money doesn't grow on trees.
Come on, get in!
Still, he hadn't specifically said "no".
So there was still hope.
After all Christmas was a time when impossible dreams came true.
When the Grinch turned good. So just maybe...
- "Buck-a-foot"... you believe that?
Highway robbery...
Or, maybe not.
- I mean on average. - Counting socks and underwear?
- Total annual tonnage. - See, well.
I thought we were talking quality, not quantity.
Oh, come on, Paul.
I mean, you get Hanukkah presents every day for a week.
Paul and I had a standing argument over
who made out better on the holidays.
Paul's lasted eight days which I thought gave him the edge.
Well, let's see. I'll give you an example.
What's the one thing you really want for Christmas?
What's that got to do with it?
Just answer the question!
What did I want?
What would make things absolutely perfect?
A TV. I guess I want a color-TV.
Kevin?
She was alone. She was wearing perfume.
- Hi... - Hi!
I wanted to give you this.
What is it?
It's a present.
- Sure. I knew that.
I wanted to tear it open with my teeth.
But don't open it till Christmas. Ok?
Course not.
A thousand thoughts were barrelling through my head.
A million questions, a billion...
Well, seeya!
Wait! Stop her! Stop her!
Uh, I - I got somethin' for you, too.
Good. A lie, but a - a good lie...
I just...don't have it with me.
Oh, that's OK. You don't have to.
Maybe I can... bring it to your house?
I guess so.
Then I'll seeya.
In a matter of seconds...
My whole life had been bent into a question-mark.
What did this mean?
Was it a message?
One thing I was sure of
Winnie Cooper... had never smelled better.
You're dreamin'.
Huh?
You're never gonna get a color-TV!
- Hammer!
Maybe Paul was right.
The great color-TV campaign was sputtering.
Dad was a rock.
The situation was getting desperate.
So was Wayne.
- Honey? You haven't been peeking in the closets, have you?
- Screwdriver!
Ah - look everybody! It's the little bird in the cage!
Remember, Daddy?
Uh-oh. Holiday traditions.
My family was honey-combed with them.
You know who gave this to us?
Uncle Mike...
Your uncle Mike.
He used to say that it reminded him
of the only girl he ever loved.
Pliers!
I hated those old stories.
There was a reason.
You know what I'm remembering?
And here it came.
The year Kevin played Santa in the school pageant.
Mom, look, you don't have to right now. It's -
I know...but you were so cute!
The way you came...waddling in, just like a bowl full of jelly.
Yeah, with his pants almost falling off.
Had these people no mercy?
- He was pretty cute.
Wait a minute.
Was that a smile on the old man's face?
An actual smile?
We'd caught him off-guard!
Now was our chance.
With the right combination of tact and finesse...
We might just...
Dad? Are you gonna get us that new color-TV set, or not?
Unbelievable.
What TV?
Nothing, honey.
- What TV? - Really! Nothing.
- Mom said that we were gonna get one.
Didn't you, Mom?
Obviously something critical had malfunctioned
in Wayne's brain.
I didn't say definitely...
I did say that your father and I might...
Everybody else has one!
Fact is I like color-TV.
Fact is, I bet I like color-TV as much as the next guy.
But let me ask you this...
does anyone here, have any idea
how much one of those sets costs?!
Four-sixty-nine-ninety-five!
Plus tax!
Minus the discount... Four-thirty-four-forty total.
Looking back,
he probably meant that question to be rhetorical.
Nice goin', butthead!
Me?! What did I do?!
Nice goin', butt-head!
Oh - well!
One minute you're everybody's little Santa,
the next minute you're Benedict Arnold.
- You guys have a lot to learn.
Don't you know anything about psychology?
This from a woman who read the Cliff notes for Kahlil Gibran.
I mean, you're backing Dad into a corner.
He wants to buy us a TV, but he wants to surprise us.
It's complex.
Nice goin', butthead!
Hey, you're the one who started all this.
OK, I'd blown it.
There was dissention in the ranks.
I could take it.
But out there, down that hallway...
- I'm not buying a TV, Norma.
We can't afford it despite what you - what they think.
Well, I think we oughtta...
It's not like I don't work hard for a living, you know.
- I do what I can. - Honey, I know!
It's just that...when I saw it there in the store
the TV... I saw the kids looking at it...
I saw us here, watching it, together.
They've grown up so fast, Jack.
Karen's almost leaving us.
Honey? What the heck!
Why don't we just go for it?
You don't have to give me anything this year...
We - we'll eat hotdogs for a month!
You know it would make you feel good.
I couldn't sleep. I felt confused.
Why couldn't things be simple,
the way they used to be, in the sixth grade?
Wayne? You awake?
Angela!
It was all a riddle inside a riddle, inside...
A box. And I had to find the answer.
Boy! Christmas was turning into a minefield.
One-hundred-twenty shopping-minutes till Christmas.
In my family, that's when the serious
last-minute purchases began.
Gee! Look over there! Wonder what those are.
Why? They look like color-TV's.
If Dad was planning a surprise,
he was sure playing it close to the vest.
But I had problems of my own.
I had to find a present for Winnie.
It had to be perfect.
It had to say everything, without saying anything.
And it had to be under six bucks.
How about a book?
How about one of those paperweights,
with the ice-skater inside, and the swirly snow?
Are you kidding?! I hate those!
Well, my mother liked the one I got her.
- Sorry. - It's OK.
Compromise was out of the question.
I had to find the right gift, or die trying.
I can't tell.
I think I'm dying.
It smells like...leaves...
...i-in the ocean, at night.
Do you have anything like that?
Why don't we just pick up the phone,
and ask Winnie what it's called?
We can't.
Why not? We can disguise our voices.
We could be Avon calling.
Paul could be amazingly dense when it came to women.
Fortunately, he had me to set him straight.
It's gotta be a surprise! That's what she's expecting!
See, that's why she gave me the present in the first place.
She wants me to make the next move.
- Ohhhh... - Yeah...
- One question.
If she already has some why get her more?
OK, so it wasn't what James Bond
would give Pussy Galore.
Double-O-Seven wasn't gettin' by on
fifty-cents-a-week in allowance.
Besides...
It's the thought that counts.
I had to believe that... I had no choice.
Christmas Eve.
In homes all over the known universe,
an age-old celebration was about to unfold.
A time of joy, and harmony. And family.
Gee! Would ya look at that car?
I wonder what color it is...
Oh, wait! There's the ocean!
You think it's orange? Nah, it's probably blue.
- But, how would I know? - Wayne! Turn it down.
That night, all the seams were showing.
Only Mom was in there pitching...
Like a lone fireman at a five-alarm blaze.
Eggnog, anyone?
Lydia Herschmuller just called.
To remind us about the carolling party tonight.
I told her we'd be there with bells on!
- Wayne! Turn it down!
You had to wonder,
maybe every family was given just so much
Christmas cheer to begin with.
Maybe this year my family had run out.
Woops! That guy's eating a gray banana!
We have to sing "Little Drummer Boy" tonight.
This was pathetic. Someone had to do something.
Hey, you remember the year
I played Santa in the school play?
Well, I'd given it my best shot.
Nothing.
If we put on sunglasses,
we can watch this in black-and-green!
Wayne had finally reached the limit.
Hold on!
I'm picking up some color, here!
Oh, it's beautiful. It's...
Wayne! Will you just give it up?!
- We're not getting a TV!
- Just forget it!
Well, I gotta go.
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Where do you think you're goin'?
- I have a date. - On Christmas Eve?
- Why not? - What your father means...
It's Christmas Eve.
We spend Christmas Eve together!
- I can say what I mean.
"Jingle all the way..."
I'm goin' out, Dad.
- Nobody...is going anywhere.
We're all staying right here.
I wasn't sure exactly what to expect at Winnie Cooper's.
But I had a pretty good idea.
- Hi... - Hi!
I brought this for you.
Then you got my message.
Merry Christmas, sweetheart.
Yes?
Holy cow! I'd never seen this person before in my life!
Uh, is...Winnie home?
- No, she's not. Can I help you?
- No, that's OK.
- You're the boy next door, aren't you?
Gwendolyn said you might be stopping by.
She did?
The Cooper's decided to spend the holiday's with relatives.
It was a last minute decision.
She seemed to think you'd understand.
Understand what? That nothing made sense?
That Christmas was a bust?
That my whole family was coming apart at the...
You...do know about her brother, don't you? Brian.
Brian was killed...last fall. In Vietnam.
I know! I know that!
I guess I just...forgot.
They needed time away,
they'll be back in a few days.
Goodnight.
At that moment I felt like the dumbest human being on earth.
It was supposed to be perfume.
That night I thought about a lot of things.
About Winnie.
About Brian.
About my family.
About how things get lost, or messed up.
Nothing short of a miracle was gonna make this right.
And then it happened.
It started...
To pour.
The thing was, Dad just stood there.
We all wanted to run for cover.
But Dad was just standing there.
So, we all just stood there with him.
Come on! What are we waiting for?
Alright! Alright, already! Alright!
I don't even remember what I got for Christmas that year.
But Dad gave Mom a bracelet that knocked her socks off.
Oh, yeah, and he did get us that color-TV...
Two years later.
Oh, man, eat'em off the floor...
For me, that year Christmas stopped
being about tinsel and wrapping paper,
and started being about memory.
At first I was disappointed.
Until I learned that memory is a way
of holding on to the things you love,
the things you are,
the things you wish to never lose.
And I learned from Winnie,
that in a world that changes too fast,
the best we can do is wish each other Merry Christmas.
And good luck.
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