When you're a little boy, you don't have to go very far to find the center of your universe.
Mom.
She's always there.
It's a pretty good arrangement - when you're five.
But around age thirteen, there starts to be...
A problem.
- Kevin? - Mom, I'm in the bathroom!
The problem is...she's always there.
Is everything OK, honey?
Mom!
And I mean always.
Just checking!
Now a mom has to be a mom, but a guy's gotta be a guy.
And when an irresistible force meets an immovable object...
Sooner or later - something's gotta give.
Hike!
No-equipment football.
We'd been playing it in Shepard's Park every afternoon,
since the cool weather set in.
Sure, maybe it looked like mayhem and violence.
But to us, it was something more.
It was mayhem, violence, and dirt.
The stuff laundry commercials are made of.
I got it!
Alright!
Hey, Pfeiffer? How many sweatshirts you wearin'?
Hey, I need 'em, OK?
That wind really cuts through you like a knife.
Sure it was reckless. But nobody got hurt.
Doug?
Much.
Is he breathing?
I think so.
Are you breathing, Doug?
I think he's hurt!
Maybe we should stop!
Nah...He just got the wind knocked out of him - he's alright.
Yeah, I'm awright...
Oh...good.
Hey, Arnold - we want revenge! Next play's gonna be a blitz.
Um, Kev...I'm gonna go get another sweatshirt.
No rules - no referees.
Come on, guys...Blue-26!
No one to answer to.
A thing of beauty.
Then, maybe, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Kevin, is that blood on your shirt?
Uh...
Not that I had anything to hide, of course. It's just that...
Well, you know how moms are.
I don't think so, uh...it's ketchup.
Ketchup?
Yeah.
How'd you get that blood on your shirt?
It's not blood!
Not mine, anyway.
It's ketchup, OK?
Well how'd you get the ketchup on your shirt?
At lunch today. We had fish sticks.
Sure, that's it - fish sticks.
Well, that's odd.
It says here that Tuesday's pizza day at school.
Boy! Nothin' slipped past this woman.
Did I say fish sticks? I'm sorry-fish sticks was yesterday.
This is, uh, pizza sauce.
Oh.
There! Neatly done, thereby avoidingany needless discussions about -
So I heard, uh, Doug Porter got creamedat your football game today, huh?
Football?
Is that tackle football?
Great...now the fat was in the fire.
Commence grilling.
Well, Mom, you know... it's not, it's not really tackle.
Who are you playing tackle football with?
Just some friends.
At school?
At the park.
You have a coach?
A coach?
Well, don't you think something like that should be supervised?
Football is totally barbaric.
This discussion was moving in the wrong direction.
I had to take action. And fast.
Look, Mom, there's nothing to worry about, OK?
It's no big deal.
Trust me!
Of course I trust you, honey. I just don't want anyone to get injured.
Huh, injured.
No one's going to get injured, Mom.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!
At least not permanently.
Jeez, Paul! Where were ya? I told ya I was gonna lateral it to you!
Well, I tripped. This is a very poor playing surface.
Hey, Randy - you OK?
Yeah...
Hey, Kev - isn't that your mom's car?
Yeah...
Funny. She'd never driven by here before.
OK. Your ball. First-and-ten.
Still, Mom would never spy on me. So she must have had some other reason.
Instinct - the biological imperative.
What makes this salmon fight her way through hostile currents,
only to lay her eggs and die, her energy spent?
Maybe she was picking up your dad's dry-cleaning.
Huh?
Your mom.
This courageous mallard...
Facing certain annihilation,
defends her young against a venomous predator.
I just hope she doesn't talk to my mom.
Look, Paul...it's no big deal, OK?
At least I hoped not.
Ever vigilant of our harsh and murderous environment...
A cougar drags her cub to safety.
OK, but if you think we should stop playing...
Hey! It was just a suggestion.
Look, we're not doing anything wrong, OK?
I just hate to think what my mom would do to me if she found out.
What are you so afraid of?
Of course, there are cases of instinct gone berserk.
And then...
Hey, Kev - it's your mom.
Wait a minute. This was starting to get embarrassing.
Look, I'll be right back, OK?
You're coming with us...?
Yeah, yeah, I'll just be back in a minute.
Hop in.
Why?
I'm gonna take you shopping.
Shopping?
Yeah - there's a sale over at Boy's Town.
And suddenly I was hearing alarm bells.
Look, uh, Mom, I'm gonna take the bus today.
See - the guys are waitin'.
I think you need new pants.
Uh, look. Mom, the pants I have are fine, OK? I-I don't need new pants!
They fit great, they're stylish... I just don't need new pants.
There - phew! I was finally gettin' through.
I think you need new pants.
Boy, tell one lousy little fib about pizza on your shirt, and what do you get?
Pants.
Still, if that's what Mom needed to square accounts, it was fine with me.
I could take it.
How do they fit?
Fine - we'll take 'em.
I'm not so sure.
They seem seem awefully roomy in the crotch.
Gee, Mom - could you say it a little louder?! I'm not sure everyone in the store heard.
"Attention shoppers! Attention shoppers. Plenty of room in Kevin Arnold's crotch!"
There!
That wasn't so bad, was it?
Pure...living...hell. But I'd survive.
The debt was paid, mom was happy...
And tomorrow was a whole new ballgame.
Oh, I guess it's too late.
For what?
Buster Brown's.
You're gonna need shoes to go with all those new pants.
We'll just have to go tomorrow.
And then in a flash, everything was horribly clear.
Mom was gonna take me shopping in the afternoon - for the rest of my life.
Look, Mom, I have a football game tomorrow!
Yeah, well, we can talk about that later.
Uh-uh! We were gonna have this out right here!
Right -
Honey? Are you OK?
It's a tough time in life when you're struggling for manhood
and your mother still outweighs you by fifty pounds.
I was left with only one option.
Call in the heavy artillery.
Dad? We've gotta talk!
Huh?
No one had ever actually spoken to my father before he put down his briefcase.
But I was going for broke.
Can you think of one good reason why I shouldn't be able to play football with the other guys?
I mean I bet you played football without any equipment when you were a little kid and I've been playing for a very long time now... and nothing's ever really happened...
And the guys are really counting on me to play tonight.
So...
So, can we play or not?!
Sure! Go ahead.
Touchdown!
I don't think it's a good idea, Jack.
You heard your mother.
OK. That did it!
So, I'll pick you up from school tomorrow, and we'll go for those shoes!
The lines were drawn. The course was unalterable.
OK, honey?
This was war.
Hey, Arnold! Nice pants.
Oh, thanks "Hodges"... nice of you to notice.
You missed a good game yesterday.
Yeah! Paul set a new record - most dropped passes in a scrimmage.
Where were you, anyway?
Oh, uh...
I had to help my...dad...change the plugs on the, uh, Impala.
You know, you got to keep her runnin'.
I didn't think "bargain-hunting with mom" would go over very well.
Yeah? Uh, you check all the gaps?
Uh...yeah!
Well how'd you get your fingernails so clean?
You know, usually it takes me a couple days -
So, you guys win?
Oh, no-we lost. We coulda used you, too! Jimmy's mom wouldn't let him play.
Can you believe that?!
What a wuss.
You'll be there tonight, though - won't ya?
Oh, sure!
Alright! Well...
This'll do.
Did you use the Lava or the -
Look, Paul! I gotta get back to work, OK?
Time to meet your maker.
Well, that was it - decision time.
Mom has specifically given me an order meet her in front of the school at the bell.
Or had she said "meet me at home"?
Pfeiffer - you're late!
Am I? Well, you guys didn't start without me, did you?
Of course! Wouldn't be a big-league game without you.
Guys. Humiliating each other, hurting each other's feelings.
Did it get any better than this?
Uh-oh - caught red-handed!
There was only one thing to do.
Go on the offensive.
Kev-in...!
Mom!
Kevin? What are you doing here?
Well -
I specifically told you to meet me in front of your school at three o'clock.
I forgot.
You forgot?!
Yeah.
How could you just forget, Kevin?
Well, I thought you said meet me in front of the house after school.
That's really what you thought I said?
Well, I'm not exactly sure whether you said that or not.
Ah, heck! The woman knew what underwear I was wearing.
Why did I even try to fight it?
Well, I suppose we still have time to make it to the store -
No!
I'm not coming, Mom.
What?!
I'm playing football.
Now, I thought we agreed you weren't going to play anymore.
No, I never said that, Mom!
What do you have against football, anyway?
You know, Doug Porter shouldn't be playing football
he has bladder problems.
Bladder problems?!
How did she know that?!
Was there a secret network of mom's who traded inside
information about bladders over bridge tables and grocery carts?
I just worry about you, sweetheart.
Don't you have anything better to do, Mom?
I mean, just stop babying me! I can take care of myself.
Well if you're going to go...go.
Then I was free.
I was higher than a kite. I was unstoppable.
Touchdown!
Whoo-oo!
OK - new game!
Hey, it's gettin' kinda late...
Yeah, i-i-it's getting cold. Is anyone cold?
Arnold?
New game! Losers walk.
Let's go!
Hey, Kev - you think this is a good idea?
Oh, come on, Paul. Don't be a wuss.
Woops - maybe that was a little rough.
Hey, sorry - I didn't mean that.
It's OK.
But heck - let's face it. I was feeling my oats.
Are you ready?!!
Yep, I'd fought a battle, and I'd won.
Things were gonna be different from now on.
Yeah, things were gonna be alright.
And then it hit me.
Actually, Craig Hobson hit me.
Then Randy Mitchell.
And Mike Donovan.
After that, I kinda stopped taking names.
Man! That was amazing!
Come on, guys - get off! Kevin?
You're bleeding!
OK, your ball. First down.
OK - alright! This game is over!
Says who?
Says me! This game is called on account of darkness.
And that's all, there's nothing else to say.
Now everyone just go home! Go on!
- He's probably right - it's gettin' late. - Yeah, I got dinner.
We'll do it again tomorrow.
What are you - his mother?!
Hey, wait a minute.
Hey, I'm alright, guys! Where are you going? I'm -
Fine...
But I wasn't - not really. By the time I got home, my hand felt like a five-alarm fire.
Kevin, are you hurt?!
I wanted to answer "yes", that I was hurt.
That I needed comfort.
No, Mom. I'm OK.
And I knew she wanted to comfort me - make everything better.
Well there's some iodine in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom.
Gauze, if you need something to wrap it in.
In the medicine cabinet?
Mm-hmmm.
Every war has its casualties, and every victory its price.
But life goes on.
Nothing really changed that night - nothing big, anyway.
Just a very little piece of something that was never gonna be the same.
Not ever.
The thing is, it's hard to tie a bandage with just one hand.
Sooner or later, though...
You learn.
"Yesterday"
"A child came out to wonder"
"Caught a dragonfly inside a jar"
"Fearful"
"When the sky was full of thunder"
"And tearful at the falling of a star"
"And the seasons they go round and round"
"And the painted ponies go up and down"
"We're captive on the carousel of time"
"We can't return"
"We can only look behind"
"From where we came"
"And go round and round and round"
"In the circle game" ÇÏºñ ÀÚ¸· µ¿È£È¸
°¨»çÇÕ´Ï´Ù. Á¦ÀÛ : iamy1004 (iamy1004@hanmail.net)