In junior high school...
Looks mean a lot.
There's the look of love.
The look of rejection.
The thrill of victory.
The agony of defeat.
But there was one look that was different.
A once-in-a-lifetime look.
The look that said that things would never be the same again.
Doug?
Doug? You OK?
One glance at a face like that, and you knew...
Oh, man...when did it happen?
Last night.
Was it your dad?
He gave you..."The Talk".
"The Talk". The old birds and bees.
I actually had to listen to my father say - "genitals".
Ahhhh!
It was horrible...
Too horrible to contemplate.
The worst thing was, no one was immune.
It could strike any time, any where.
The fatal communication.
Kevin?
It all begins with an egg.
Oh, no!
So when a man and a woman get together...
Oh, gosh!
When your mother and I...
No - no, no - don't drag Mom into this!
Kevin!
Huh?
Shove over.
Fortunately, my father preferred tocommunicate with his kids as little as possible.
Still you never knew if your luck was gonna run out.
Or when.
Looks like it's wearing pretty thin to me.
Jack...
Day three of my dad's week off.
So far, he had tightened every screw on every kitchen cabinet...
In short, he was laying seige to my mom's domain.
Honey, it's just a little crack.
Eh...it's fallin' apart. Where's my glue?
Of course, after years of experience...
Mom had learned to play Dad like a matador dealing with a bull.
Honey?
You want this last piece of bacon?
Ol? Mom!
I just put a new washer in this thing.
Did the paper come yet?
I know you wanted to look at those tire sales.
Oh...
I hope he hit the porch this time.
Yep. Mom had all the moves.
What the -
You want another muffin, honey?
Until, that is...
Jack!
The bull got into the china shop.
These hinges are going, Norma.
Jack...not my good crystal...
Kevin - get my toolbox from the cellar.
Now this was serious - this was Mom's stemware.
Wait.
You could see her reaching back for some way to save the situation.
Some way to -
I know...why don't you do something with Kevin?
Stab me in the back.
Huh?
You could...go to a movie, or...play catch...
- Well, I better get going. - No, wait!
I've got it.
Jack...wouldn't this be the perfect timeto build that treehouse that you twohave always talked about?
A treehouse?
I couldn't believe it.
After all I'd done for her -slept in her house, eaten her food!
Why not?! I think it would be fun for both of you!
Come on, Mom.
I'm too old for a treehouse.
Right, Dad?
I was sorry to bail out on old Mom...
But the fact was -
Nonsense.
You're never too old for a treehouse.
I was a dead man.
See, it wasn't just a matter ofbeing too old for a treehouse.
Building something - building anything -with my dad didn't really mean "building".
It meant sitting around...
Kev.
Holding twine...
Being in the way...
Eating sawdust.
And, watching him build.
Well, startin' to lose the light.
Let's knock off for today, eh, Tiger?
"Tiger"? I didn't feel like a tiger. I felt more like...an elf.
We'll pick it up tomorrow.
I can't.
I've got school tomorrow.
I'll pick ya up!
Great...
Check this out.
Put that away!
Sorry, Pfeiff - didn't mean to scare you.
Grow up, Hobson!
What's wrong with it? My dad looks at this stuff.
Yeah, your dad, maybe.
Uh-huh - like yours doesn't.
Of course not...my dad's an optometrist!
Phhh...
Well, he doesn't.
I don't want this to come as a shock to you, Pfeiff...
But men look at women.
No, duh.
You're just a babe in the woods.
Craig Hobson - the "Masters and Johnson" of the lunch line.
So, Arnold, how's the big project comin'?
What do you mean?
Saw your and your dad drivin' by with a car full of lumber.
Whatcha buildin' - a new sand-box?
For your information, Hobson... They're working on something very big.
Really, like what?
- Paul... - I can handle this...
it's a treehouse.
Thanks, Paul. Really.
- Well, it's not really... - A treehouse, huh?
Aren't you a little old for that?
At least his dad doesn't sit around looking at magazines.
They're building it together.
A treehouse, huh?
What are you - the ladder-holder?
Huh, yeah, right.
The nerve of this guy.
"Ladder-holder"? I was no ladder-holder. I was...
Holding a ladder.
I cut it too long. What the hell was I thinking of?
OK - this had gone far enough.
It was time to declare my independence.
- I'll cut it for you, Dad. - Huh?
Heck, what did I have to lose?
Nah, I better do it.
Dad! I want to do it. I want to help.
You are helpin'.
Holding a ladder?
Come on, Dad - I want to saw.
OK. Either one of two things was gonna happen here.
Either Dad was gonna laugh in my face, or...
You think you can shave an inch-and-three-eigths off of that?
He was gonna let me saw!
OK...I was on my way!
There was just one little problem here...
I'd never actually used a power-saw before.
It looked...sharp.
Saw-like.
- Make sure that safety-guard is down -this thing can back up on ya. - Yeah, I know.
"Back up"? "Safety-guard"? OK, no turning back now.
It was saw... or be sawed.
Not bad!
It was a small step.
An inch-and-three-eigths, to be exact.
Come on.
But it felt like we'd turned some kind of corner.
And our treehouse, at least the ground-floor,was lookin' pretty darn good!
Feels solid, Dad.
Yeah, it does.
As Dad and I kicked back and hoisted a couple of cool ones... Here ya go.
I had the strangest experience.
Dad was talking to me - and I was listening.
A rope-ladder...
We were - communicating. Wait a minute - nah, Mom can't get up a rope-ladder.
That's the idea...
It was one of the nicest moments we ever shared, and it lasted...
About twelve seconds.
Now she was just a woman, working in her garden, weeding her tomatoes.
She didn't know we were there.
And we'd certainly never seen her before.
It was all just kinda...
A coincidence.
Hmmph...
The weird thing was... It was really no big deal.
Except for some reason, at that moment, it was a big deal.
It was horrible.
We'd been two men at work...
And suddenly everything had changed.
Suddenly, we were a father and son.
And a neighbor.
And there didn't seem to be room up there for the three of us.
Um...Kev?
Kev, uh...
Down went the lines of communication.
Let's take a break.
Yeah...
- OK. - Yeah...
And there you had it.
One minute we were on top of the world, the next minute...
We were up a tree - without a ladder.
For the next day or so, Dad and I didn't talk much.
Let me amend that - we didn't talk at all.
Oh, do we have to watch this?
Course...I wasn't really sure if Dad knew thatI knew that he saw that I saw what he saw...
Or vice-versa.
All we both knew was...
We weren't goin' back up that tree.
What's happening with the treehouse?
Uh, we, um...
Well, what's the matter with you two?
You were having so much fun up there!
I've never seen the two of you work so well together.
Dad? You want to take this one?
Well, uh...the forecast said there was a...possibility of rain.
Yeah.
It said zero possibility.
Well, as long as I have you two in here...
Maybe you can help me choose a table-setting.
We could go with the gingham, or the stripes, or the ducks...
Or, we could mix-and-match...
What do you think?
Looks like it's clearin' up, Kev.
Have fun, huh-huh.
Sure - fun!
We gave it the old college try.
We tried to ignore it.
But we were over-matched.
So we did only thing possible. We turned down the he***.
Not like that, Kev.
What's wrong with that?
You're over the line.
No I'm not!
Yes, you are!
Look, I'll do this. Just go get my hammer.
What?!
Never mind - where's your hammer?
I think I left it in the garage.
How many times I tell ya not to leave your tools lying around?
- Well I didn't think - - Look - just go get it!
Face it - we needed help. Someone sympathetic.
Someone who'd understand.
You lucky dog.
I don't believe it!
You guys don't understand.
I think we do.
Will you cut it out, Hobson?!
I could use a little help here.
You don't need help - you need binoculars.
Why?
Pfeiffer, you're hopeless.
Look - all I know is this can't go on.
My dad and I are at each others throats!
In that case...
There's only one thing to do.
At last - a little counsel!
Let me build that treehouse.
Well, one thing was clear.
Dad and I were in this together, for better or worse.
But wait a minute -
- Awright! Let's get goin' here. We got work to do, huh? - Yeah!
Yeah - let's lap up some studs! Make some noise!
¢Ý Come here sister.....¢Ý "Papa's Got A Brand New Bag" by "James Brown"
¢Ý Papa's in the swing ¢Ý
¢Ý He ain't too hip...¢Ý
¢Ý about that new breed thing ¢Ý
¢Ý He ain't no drag ¢Ý
¢Ý Papa's got a brand new bag ¢Ý
Yep - we were rollin' now.
Like a smoothly-oiled machine.
And who knew?
We might even finish it by tomorrow if our luck held out.
And we didn't get another visit from...
Look at the size of those tomatoes, Jack!
The singing gardener.
Yeah...
This is Donna. My husband, Jack.
Ah, nah, my hands are dirty - I've been working.
That's OK - my hands have been in the dirt all day.
And that's my youngest - Kevin.
Well, hi, Kevin!
Uh...hi.
Donna and I met at the supermarket.
We started talking in the checkout counterand it turns out Donna lives on Oakdale almost right behind us!
Yeah, just a little over from here!
So she told me about her tomatoes. And said she'd bring me some.
And I told the checker...just to put mine back!
Didn't I?
Well, then...I guess I just had to bring 'em, huh?
Well! This was homey!
I just sort of stood there, but fortunately...My dad was a little more socially-adept.
We, um...break.
What, honey?
Kevin and me.
So, a little small-talk...
The Arnold charm...
- Let's go Kev. - It was nice to meet you!
And we were out the door.
By mutual unspoken consent,my dad and I fell into a plan.
Work as hard as we could,as fast as we could -and get out of that tree.
As our hammers rang in the air, bending metal and steel to our wills...
an amazing thing happened - we found a common bond.
- Nails. - Here.
- Pry-bar. - Yo.
I need a, uh...
- Ratchet. - Yeah, and some, uh...
- Wood screws. - Dammit! Where's the...
- Pencil. - Yeah.
It was almost...heroic.
There we were, two men, side-by-side...
Struggling without words...
Against the thing we couldn't talk about - running from a common enemy.
Running from -
Ready or not - here I come!
- Mom. - Norma.
Well! This is fun!
Uh, Norma, the footing up here is a little tricky.
Yeah - It's not all nailed off! You don't want to fall!
Oh, don't be silly. It feels sturdy to me!
Oh! And just look at this view!
Yeah!
Excuse me!
Oh.
Now at that moment, it's possiblea simple explanation would have helped.
But of course...we could't explain.
We couldn't talk about it at all.
Oh.
Well, I should start dinner.
And that was that.
We'd been accused, tried, and convicted.
And suddenly I had an awful feeling thatI knew what that sentence would be.
Son...
We have to talk.
There was no escape.
It had come down to this.
"The Talk".
Son...
I think you're too old for a treehouse.
Huh?
I'm goin' inside.
My father and I never had the talk.
And we never finished the treehouse.
I guess some things between fathers andsons are left unspoken, and unfinished.
Don't we have any vegetables?
And for years after that,my mother could never say the word "tomato",without giving my dad a funny look.
¢Ý Let me tell ya 'bout the birds and the bees ¢Ý "The Birds and the Bees" by "Jewel Akens"
¢Ý And the flowers and the trees ¢Ý
¢Ý And the moon up above ¢Ý
¢Ý And a thing called "Love" ¢Ý
¢Ý Let me tell ya 'bout the stars in the sky ¢Ý
¢Ý And a girl and a guy ¢Ý
¢Ý And the way they could kiss ¢Ý
¢Ý On a night like this ¢Ý
ÇÏºñ ÀÚ¸· µ¿È£È¸ °¨»çÇÕ´Ï´Ù. Á¦ÀÛ : iamy1004 (iamy1004@hanmail.net)