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When you're a kid, it's simple.

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Christmas is magic.

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It's a time of miracles, when reindeer can fly, and Frosty never melts.

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Then you get older.
Somehow, things change.

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The magic begins to fade.

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Until something happens that reminds you, at Christmas time...

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Miracles still can be found.

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Happy Holidays, men.

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Sometimes in the most unexpected places.

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In my grasp, is a message from Richard Milhouse Nixon.

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Gentleman, our Chief Executive has entrusted me, as a physical educator,

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to make sure you men are performing at, or above, the national average.

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The President's All-American Physical Fitness Challenge.

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I guess I don't have to tell you this is an awesome responsibility. Do I. Arnold?

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Uh, yes sir. You don't. Have to tell us.

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I didn't think so.

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By December of 1970, it was pretty clear Christmas meant nothing to Coach Cutlip.

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While most human beings were brimming with Yuletide cheer, he was brimming with...

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Chin-ups. Sit-ups. The shuttle run. Various calisthenics. And, of course...the rope climb.

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Face it. The guy was Scrooge in a baseball cap.

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Scoozie. OK now, who wants to start?

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Not that it was anything new to us.
The pain, the exhaustion, the humiliation.

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It was something we had come to expect from the guy.

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Still, that year, a new thought was forming in our collective ninth grade minds.

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Cutlip's a raving lunatic!

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He has absolutely no Christmas spirit.

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He makes us dust the floor in front of the girl's gym class.

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And Doug with his underwear hangin' out.

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My underwear was showing?!

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Somebody oughtta do something to that guy.

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Hey don't get me involved with this.
I gotta play basketball for the guy.

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It seemed Paul was about the only one of my colleagues who had a real sense of reality.

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What I wouldn't give just once to have something over Cutlip.

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Yeah, take him down a peg.

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Maybe we should talk to him.

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Aw, get real.

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What?

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You can't talk to the guy.
Cutlip's from another planet.

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Men. I know what you're thinking.

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You're thinking...you let me down.

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Well, don't give it a second thought. 
There's always ma?na.(³¡¿¡ ¹«½¼¸»ÀÎÁö ¸ð¸£°Ú³×¿ä.^^)

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It was fine, Mom.

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If I wanted my spirits dampened,
I had a Mom who was doing a fine job.

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- You know what?
- What?

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We should get you a new tie, too.

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No, Mom. No ties.
I got the shoes, enough's enough.

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Kevin?!

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Christmas seemed to trigger Mom's biological need to buy formal wear for her family.

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Dad needs a tie.
You should get Dad a tie. OK?

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Well? Meet me back in five minutes.

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Shoes, ties, calisthenics.

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It was beginning to seem like the whole world was adrift in a quagmire of phony holiday spirit.

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It made you wonder, what ever happened to the magic?

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Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
Step right up here young lady!

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Now this was more like it.

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In its own tacky way, seeing those kids waiting at that Christmas mall display,

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made me remember what I'd been missing.

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Step right up here, young man! Up on Santa...Ho, ho, ho!

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Maybe it was Santa's hearty laugh.

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Maybe I was waxing nostalgic for my simpler youth.

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Ho, ho, ho, ho! So, Bobby, tell me, what would you like from Santa for Christmas, huh?

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Whatever it was, for the first time in years, Saint Nick actually seemed familiar to me.

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What's that? A bike? Slow down, Bobby. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

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Like a long-lost uncle, who I couldn't quite place.

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Scoozie.

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Cutlip?

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Well every young man should have -

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It was horrible, worse than horrible.
The whiskers, the bells, the hat?

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Kind of a Christmas nightmare come true.

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First time I'd ever seen a teacher outside of school, and he had a pillow strapped to his stomach.

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The next morning I tried to block the terrible image from my head.

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I prayed I'd imagined the whole thing.

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Uh, hi.

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Morning, Arnold.

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Mr. Cutlip? How are you doing today?

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Not bad.

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I tried to read his expression.

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Had he seen me? 
Had I really seen him?

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Yourself?

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Uh, great. Great.

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Any adventures since last time I saw you, Arnold?

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No. Well, I did go shopping at the Brightlin Mall.

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Brightlin Mall?

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Uh-huh.

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Never been there myself.
Don't get out that far.

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Oh.

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See you in gym class, Arnold.

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Uh, yeah, I'll be there.

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Fine.

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And then it was over. I'd been mistaken.

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Suddenly I felt full of holiday cheer again.

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Merry Christmas, sir!

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There are few things in life I'll always regret. This was one of those things.

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Listen up, men. Starting today, some of you are gonna have to work a little harder.

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As I sat on that cold parquet floor,
I felt as if I were on death row.

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We begin...

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With the shuttle run.

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I knew too much, and I was gonna have to pay the price.

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Cornell, you're running first.

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Then, Porter, you're up next.
And, let's see...Arnold.

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Yes, sir?

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He'd been saving me for last. Who knew what kind of torture he had in store for me.

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Grueling sit-ups, excruciating push-ups.

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How 'bout you keep time?

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Sure.

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OK, the rest of you guys, up and at 'em.

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And that's when I realized, knowledge was power.

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All of a sudden, Christmas had come early. It was wonderful.

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Unfortunately, not everyone shared my holiday spirit.

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Come on, everybody, down this end of the gym! Let's go!

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Let's go! Move it!

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The next couple days in gym class, my popularity was...

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Hey, guys.

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- Hey!
- Teacher's pet.

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Not exactly at an all-time high.

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We should just call you Cutlip-in-training.

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Oh, c'mon, guys, it's not like that.

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Oh, yeah?

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I'm one of you.

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Pistachio, Arnold?

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Red ones.

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Uh...

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Sure.

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Keep the whole bag.

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One of us, huh?

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Seemed pretty clear something had to be done.

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Mr. Cutlip?

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Mr. Cutlip!?

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Can I talk to you? It's important.

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In here.

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Shoot.

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Well, I think we might have a little misunderstanding.

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No misunderstanding. Not at all.

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Well, I just want you to know that, even though I saw you as -

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Well...you know.

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I appreciate you coming to me, Arnold.

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You do?

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Because I wanted to give you these.

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Passes. To get out of gym.

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You're excused from the President's Challenge.

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Yeah, Mr. Cutlip -

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Call me Ed.

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Listen, sir, I really don't want to get out of gym.

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Playing hardball, huh?

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What?

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I'm on to your game now.
I've played a little ball in my life, too.

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Capisce?

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Uh, Mr. Cutlip, I -

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Say no more, Arnold.

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Looks like it's class time for both of us.

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Things were spiraling out of control.

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There was no telling what a volatile guy like Cutlip might do next.

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Your wrist hurt from holding the stopwatch?

156
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The walls were pushing in all around me.

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Doug, this isn't my fault.

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Yeah, right.

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This is ridiculous. Just 'cause I saw Cutlip working at the Brightlin Mall -

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You what?!

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Uh-oh.

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Forget it.

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You saw Cutlip in the mall?

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Yeah, and now my life's ruined. You happy?

165
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You Kevin Arnold?

166
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There it was, my summons to destiny. It was time to face...

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My executioner.

168
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Sit down, Arnold.

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- I have something for you.
- OK.

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He was probably reaching for a weapon, a gun.

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Fruitcake. I picked it up at the mall.
Twenty percent employees' discount.

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A fruitcake?

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Just one of the many reasons I took the job...as...Santa.

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You know, Arnold, to a man who has devoted his life to public education,

175
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the opportunity to buy wholesale is nothing to laugh at.

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But I don't need to tell you that, do I?

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No. I don't think so.

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May I go now?

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There's another reason.

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There is?

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Esther Cutlip. My mother.
The woman is a saint.

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Uh-huh.

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I found myself hoping for the school bell to ring, the sound of the buses pulling up, anything to get out of there.

184
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If it weren't for my support, there's no telling the catatonic state the woman might fall into.

185
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That's nice, sir.

186
00:13:34,777 --> 00:13:40,422
Tell me something, Arnold.
You ever been inside a Santa outfit?

187
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Oh my God, we were crossing a line teachers and students were never supposed to cross.

188
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It was horrifying.

189
00:13:46,646 --> 00:13:48,671
It's hot, and it's sweaty -

190
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Look, Mr. Cutlip? I don't really want to know what it's like.

191
00:13:52,174 --> 00:13:55,513
Your discounts, your fruitcake, your mother, that's none of my business, OK?

192
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I'm not gonna tell anyone about you being Santa so let's just forget it.

193
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OK? It's forgotten. Please.

194
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Arnold.

195
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Kids like me when I'm Santa.

196
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And right then, for the first time as I looked at the man, I actually saw a human being.

197
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Not a great human being, maybe not even a good human being, but a very lonely human being.

198
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Your secret's safe with me, Mr. Cutlip.

199
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I headed home, feeling pretty good about not having spilled the beans.

200
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Until I remembered the beans had already been spilled.

201
00:14:52,900 --> 00:14:56,592
Doug, you can't tell anybody what I told you before.

202
00:14:56,592 --> 00:14:59,831
Oh. OK.

203
00:14:59,831 --> 00:15:02,058
You didn't, did you?

204
00:15:02,058 --> 00:15:06,507
Well...only Randy.

205
00:15:07,327 --> 00:15:10,711
So, um, what exactly does Cutlip do at the mall?

206
00:15:10,711 --> 00:15:11,848
Forget it.

207
00:15:11,848 --> 00:15:14,293
Does he sell Orange Julius?

208
00:15:14,293 --> 00:15:16,243
You gotta tell us where he works, Kev.

209
00:15:16,243 --> 00:15:17,426
No way!

210
00:15:17,426 --> 00:15:20,694
Well, we've got eyes. We'll, uh, we'll just go find out for ourself.

211
00:15:20,694 --> 00:15:22,726
Holy cow, these guys were serious.

212
00:15:22,726 --> 00:15:26,821
The vultures were circling, and it was all my fault.

213
00:15:26,821 --> 00:15:31,548
And right there, right then, I knew what I had to do.

214
00:15:31,867 --> 00:15:33,237
There was no time to lose.

215
00:15:33,237 --> 00:15:38,428
I had to beat those guys to Center Court, no matter what the obstacles.

216
00:15:48,494 --> 00:15:51,204
Hey, hey, hey! You gotta wait your turn.

217
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Yeah, but this is important, I know him!

218
00:15:52,990 --> 00:15:54,396
That's what they all say.

219
00:15:54,396 --> 00:16:00,342
You're a fine boy. Santa's going to give you whatever you want. Ho, ho, ho!

220
00:16:00,342 --> 00:16:01,845
Mommy! Anything I want!

221
00:16:01,845 --> 00:16:05,742
Arnold.

222
00:16:05,742 --> 00:16:07,015
What are you doing here?

223
00:16:07,015 --> 00:16:08,980
Well...I -

224
00:16:08,980 --> 00:16:10,489
You're not going to sit on my lap, are you?

225
00:16:10,489 --> 00:16:11,722
- No.
- Good.

226
00:16:11,722 --> 00:16:14,271
- You'd be too old. You realize that.
- Yeah. Mr. Cutlip, I -

227
00:16:14,271 --> 00:16:18,556
Ssh! Call me Santa!

228
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,780
I came to say I'm sorry.

229
00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:21,767
Sorry?

230
00:16:21,767 --> 00:16:27,906
Yeah. There's a bunch of guys from class coming to look for you.

231
00:16:27,906 --> 00:16:31,153
I kinda let it slip about you working at the mall.

232
00:16:31,153 --> 00:16:32,210
You didn't.

233
00:16:32,210 --> 00:16:37,444
So you probably should hide out in your shack until this whole thing blows over.

234
00:16:41,504 --> 00:16:46,691
Here they came, the hounds to the kill.

235
00:16:48,636 --> 00:16:51,607
There was only one option: head for the chimney.

236
00:16:51,607 --> 00:16:53,001
No can do, Arnold.

237
00:16:53,001 --> 00:16:55,659
What?

238
00:16:55,659 --> 00:16:59,597
Let them come if they must.

239
00:16:59,597 --> 00:17:04,743
I am who I am.

240
00:17:10,118 --> 00:17:12,819
I'll always remember that look on his face.

241
00:17:12,819 --> 00:17:17,973
He was at once heroic and stupid.

242
00:17:19,335 --> 00:17:22,824
Move along, Arnold.

243
00:17:22,824 --> 00:17:24,754
There was nothing more I could do.

244
00:17:24,754 --> 00:17:30,084
The die was cast.
It was Santa's Last Stand.

245
00:17:32,126 --> 00:17:34,457
It's Arnold! Come on!

246
00:17:36,012 --> 00:17:37,853
- Look, guys...
- Where is he, Kev?

247
00:17:37,853 --> 00:17:40,337
- Might as well tell us.
- Forget it!

248
00:17:40,337 --> 00:17:42,824
Fine, we're just gonna have to find him ourselves.

249
00:17:42,824 --> 00:17:45,080
C'mon, guys, split up.

250
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:53,117
I stood there, helpless, outnumbered.
And that's when it happened.

251
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Doug Porter looked first, directly into the eyes of the man who had taught him gym for three long years.

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Then Tommy Kisling looked, too, and Randy Mitchell.

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Those three skeptics gazed straight at that white beard,dead into the eyes of Coach Cutlip not thirty feet away.

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But all that they saw...was Santa Claus.

255
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C'mon, guys. Let's keep looking.

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It was a miracle.

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He stood there like some patron saint of all the lonely people holidays sometimes forget.

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All right. Who's next to see Santa?

259
00:19:13,911 --> 00:19:17,053
And for that brief moment of Christmas magic,

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Ed Cutlip got his chance to be what he always wanted.

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And I never gave him away.

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00:19:55,784 --> 00:19:58,323
Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!

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