Primitive man. Hunter. Tool-maker.
Slayer of mastodons. Armed with only his instincts and a spear...
He roamed the earth, in tribes.
In a lot of ways, high school boys are a lot like primitive man.
They forage for their food.
They fashion crude tools.
And of course...they hang out in groups.
In fact, about the only difference between my friends...and Neanderthal man was...
Any questions?
Neanderthals had bigger brains.
Listen you guys want to, uh...shoot some hoops after school?
- Oh, yeah - count me in! - Got it!
-Hey, Kev? You playin'? -Sure! Course!
The tribe. That year we were inseparable.
We'd faced all the challenges.
Kev-in!
All but one, anyway.
Women.
Uh, look - guys? I gotta take a rain-check, OK?
Kev-in...
Julie Aidem. We'd been goin' out for two weeks. And to put it mildly...
-Carry my books? -Sure...
-You don't mind? -You kidding?
She appreciated the little things about me.
You know you have a really cute laugh.
Really?
She liked my laugh.
I thought about you today.
Yeah. I was thinking about you, too.
She thought about me.Lots.
I thought...That you look really good in stripes.
No kidding?
Yeah. With the collar up. You know - it'd really suit you.
That was Julie.
She watched over me. Took care of me. Civilized me.
-How's that? -So much better!
Let's face it. She was good for me.
And if that wasn't enough...
Hey, Julie...Hey, Kevin!
She had a great dad, too.
How's the car comin', Mr. Aidem?
Well, I finally got that carburetor problem solved...
Now she's ready for a little spin.
I admired the guy.
He had hobbies...He was funny - a real man's man.
Honey? Did I hear you say...You were going to take the sports-car out for a drive?
Thought so, yeah.
You remember our agreement - you only drive the sports-car on the weekends?
Well, I don't know what got into me.
A man's man who was surrounded by women.
He'd be off driving it day and night if I let him...Wouldn't you, Ben?
Not that Julie's mom wasn't every bit as fun-loving as her dad.
Hey, Kevin? Why don't you stay for dinner?
I'd love to, June.
She was just more...civilized.
I mean...Mrs. Aidem.
After all, like mother...
Like daughter.
Come, Kevin!
Down, Pooh-Pooh...
All-in-all...It was quite a household.
Filled with doilies, and lace curtains...
And of course...Pooh-Pooh.
Quiet, Pooh-Pooh, quiet!
I don't get it Daddy - you're the only one that Pooh-Pooh barks at.
That's because Pooh-Pooh loves him.
Yeah, Daddy. Pooh-Pooh loves you.
The Aidem family was a model of decorum.
There may have been a reason for that.
Oh, Ben?The salad-fork.
The girls out-numbered the boys by a ratio of four-to-one.
Five-to-one if you counted the pooch.
So, Kev?
Who do you like for the World Series?
Uh, I don't know!
I think I like the Tigers - or maybe the Cubs.
Oakland's gonna knock everyone else on their butts.
-Daddy! -Ben!
Oh...sorry..
Not at the dinner table.
Still, I had to admit - I liked it there.It was nice being in a civilized home.
Oh. Ben?Fix your collar.
A home where people actually said "please"...and used butter-knives.
As opposed to, say...
Thank you
The Arnold house.
We...Were a house of men.
A house of slobs.
Fortunately, as it happened...
There had wandered into our camp one person
who did her best to look out for our best interests.
Kevin, I thought you hated that striped shirt.
Me? No -I saw it in my closet, and I think it suits me.
Well, why is the collar up?
It just so happens that some people like the way this looks, butt-brain.
Oh-oh. What people?
None of your business!
Ju-lie...Heh-heh.
-Who's Julie? -No one.
She's got you on a...pretty short leash there, hah, Kev?
This from a guy who's last successful relationship was with a nose-hair clipper.
At least I got a girlfriend.
Milk and cookies.
Terrific. Thanks!
Yeah, this was the life.
Catered to...coddled.
taking care of
So...did you miss me?
You just went upstairs to get some cookies.
I missed you.
Well...yeah! Yeah, of course I missed you!
Still, at two-and-a-half weeks into the relationship,
it was beginning to occur to me that civilization was not without its discontents.
What are you thinking?
She asked me that a lot.
I'm thinking...
These are great cookies.
Well, tomorrow, I'll make brownies.
Tomorrow?
Hello?
Oh - Daddy must be home.
Anybody down here?
Daddy...
Hey, Ben!
Kev, how you doin'? New muffler - check it out!
Well, it's great, Daddy.
Oh...yeah..
Let me get something out of my toolbox, and I'll get out of your way.
Daddy! Look what you're doing to Pooh-Pooh!
You're hurting her feelings!
Oh...I don't know what got into me!
Well...I'll go get her a biscuit.
And suddenly, the thought struck me this guy might appreciate a little male-bonding.
So, Ben, this is a...great cellar you got, here.
Yeah, a few too many nylons for my taste.
Oh. Yeah. Me, too.
Some dog.
She's no Duke.
Duke?
Got the biscuit...
Pooh-Pooh, I love you so much!
I'll tell you about Duke some other time.
Sorry, honey.
And there you had it.
Did you miss me?
So much for guy-talk.
Yeah. Of course I missed you.
I thought you were gonna be playing ball with us this afternoon!
I just made these kinda...plans.
What plans?
Nothing.
I was...just gonna go over...
Ju-lie's house...
Well, we were gonna play three-on-three!
OK! No problem. I'll be there.
Yeah - right!
And that's when I felt a cold chill.
What?!
She's really smothering you.
What are you talking about?
But I guess I knew. It was written all over their faces.
Look. Guys! I can do what ever I want to do!
I'm playin' ball! I don't have to ask anyone! No one's gonna stop me!
There! I'd faced the tribe.
I'd made my stand.
Hi, Kevin!
Just one little problem.
I missed you.
And maybe that's when I began to realize...
The undeniable truth.
Julie Aidem had me...on a very short leash.
Primitive man derived his power from the tribe.
But occasionally, one of its members betrayed the rest.
Soon, this lone hunter was set adrift from the pack.
Cast asunder. Shunned, and ostracized.
So! We gonna play some football this afternoon?
Yeah, I'll be there.
Yeah - me too.
By the next day...One thing was clear.
Hey, guys - what time are you playing?
Did you guys hear something?
Not me!
In my tribe...My name was mud.
Still, I had one skill...Primitive man did not.
Come on, guys!
-I could whine. -What?!
I wanna play!
-Kev? You bailed on us yesterday. -And you didn't even tell us.
Well, I got tied up. It was an emergency.
It was Julie! Wasn't it?
It was one time! I promise - it'll never happen again.
Please?
And with that...I'd bared my soul.
Thrown myself on the mercy of the tribe.
They in turn, pronounced their verdict.
What the hell?
And so, that afternoon, I was...Reborn.
A few hours with the guys, and I remembered who I was.
Kevin Arnold. Runner.Passer. Hunter.
Warrior.
-And it felt good. -Alright...
Hey, way to go..
-Yep. -Hey, Mom!
By the time I got home I was a new man.
Kevin? You have a visitor.
Hi, Kevin!
Hi.
I wasn't expecting you.
Julie and I were just..getting to know one another.
I was just worried about you, Kevin.
Isn't that sweet?
She was just worried about you...
So, Julie? Julie - what's goin' on?
Oh, nothing. I thought you were coming over today.
-Isn't that sweet? -Mom!
I'll just...leave you two together.
- Seeya later, Julie. - Hope so, Mrs. Arnold.
Isn't that sweet?
OK. it was clear we'd reached a critical juncture.
-Julie? -Yes, Kevin?
It was time to set gound-rules. Here and now.
Well...every once-in-a-while,
guys just...you know, gotta hang out with..other guys.
And there it was.
Gentle...but somehow, firm.
I guess you forgot what today is...
Today?
It's our three-week anniversary!
It is?
I got you a gift!
Oh, jeez...
-You did? -Open it!
Made you wonder if they knew how to gift-wrap crow.
Do you like it?
Well, yeah!
Y'I-I love it!
It's great! It - it's...
-Striped. -Striped!
You know, Kevin...
If you want to be with the guys sometimes...I understand!
No, no - that's not it - it-it's just -
I wouldn't want you to feel like I was smothering you.
No! Don't be ridiculous, you're not smothering me...
If you don't think we're right for each other...
No, Julie, I...definitely think we're right for each other.
Oh, that's what I think, Kevin!
And right about then...Something went wrong.
So maybe it's time we made more of a commitment.
A commitment?
Oh, Kevin!This is so exciting!
I can't wait to tell everyone we're going steady...
First we have to tell Mommy and Daddy at dinner.
And suddenly, somehow...I...
Was going steady.
Not that I'd actually agreed to anything, you understand...
not technically, anyway.
Still, that night outside Julie's house...
I knew I didn't have the courage to turn back.
Hey, Kev!
I hear there's gonna be a little announcement tonight.
Great.The whole family knew.
And not only that...
Now we were gonna have "the talk".
The father-of-the-bride speech, about the birds...About the bees...
Duke loved nights like this.
About...Duke?
Was Duke your dog?
Duke was a hell of a dog.
Heh-heh. Not like Pooh-Pooh back there.
Duke was a black Lab. Eighty...pounds.
He was so full of fun...and so full of spirit.
He was a real man's-best-friend kind of dog, ya know?
Duke wasn't afraid of anything.
I could tell Duke was more than just a dog to this guy.
What happened to him?
Ran away the day I proposed to June.
Well, I still think about him, ya know?
Every now and then...
At night...I swear...I can still hear Duke's howl.
Ben! Dinner!
Come on.
That night, I did my best to forestall the inevitable.
Kevin...
Uh...terrific pot-roast, Mrs. Aidem.
Thank you, Kevin.
But then, I guess they don't call it...The "inevitable" for nothing.
Kevin - don't you have an announcement to make?
At least not around the Aidem household.
Yeah! Yeah...yeah, I do.
Oh, Kevin...I think you should stand up.
And so, we'd arrived. At the last exit. The final whistle.
Well...
And that's when it happened.
honey? Fix your collar.
It was...Weird!
Pooh-Pooh! Stop that!
I thought Pooh-Pooh only barked at you, Daddy!
-It was horrible. -Down, Pooh-Pooh, down!
It was...amazing.
Almost as if Pooh-Pooh knew I was about to join the ranks of Aidem men.
And then, from out of nowhere...
I swear I heard it.
It was a clear and clarion call.And I knew what I had to do.
No!
It was now or never.
Julie - I can't do this. I just...can't!
I like wearing my...collar down!
And I hate wearing striped shirts!
And I don't like cookies!
I don't want to spend every minute with you.
I like hanging out with the guys.I'm a hunter.And a warrior.
And what about the mastodons?!
OK - maybe I got little carried away about the mastodon thing.
But I wasn't just speaking for myself.
I was speaking for all man-kind...
For Ben.
And even...for Duke. Wherever he was.
I just - I can't do it, Julie. We can't go steady.
And then...it was over.
Except for one thing.
I think you better go, Kev.
Good idea.
Man. Fire-maker. Tool-maker.
Thinker of complex thoughts.
Noble, curious, dignified.
Over the next few weeks, I rejoined my tribe.
And in a lot of ways...I was back where I belonged.
I'll be right back.
Still, I guess I knew there was still some unfinished business.
Between Ben and me, at least.
Hey, Ben!
Hey, Kevin! I thought that was you.You looked pretty good out there.
Thanks!
So! How's Julie?
She found a new guy...They're goin' steady...
No kiddin'...
Yeah, he looks great in stripes.
I bet.
Hey! You got the car out on a Thursday, huh?
Yeah, I thought I'd go a little crazy!
And in a way, I couldn't help thinking I had something to do with it.
Well...It was nice seeing you again
Hey, Kevin?
One day you're gonna see.
What's that?
It's not that bad!
Having people who care for you, you know?
I guess Ben understood something. Something that I'd learn...
In time.
Come on, Kev - let's go!
Thanks! I'll keep that in mind.
But me? I was just a sixteen-year-old guy.
And the way I saw it...
there were still a lot of mastodons yet to be slayed.
-Break! -Alright!
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