1 00:00:01,233 --> 00:00:06,505 ♪ What would you do if I sang out of tune? ♪ 2 00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:11,275 ♪ Would you stand up and walk out on me? ♪ 3 00:00:11,277 --> 00:00:17,515 ♪ Lend me your ears, and I'll sing you a song ♪ 4 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:21,019 ♪ I will try not to sing out of key, yeah ♪ 5 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:25,223 ♪ Oh, baby, I get by ♪ ♪ By with a little help from my friends ♪ 6 00:00:25,225 --> 00:00:26,691 ♪ All I need is my buddies ♪ 7 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,928 ♪ High with a little help from my friends ♪ 8 00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:35,066 ♪ I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ♪ -♪ Try with a little help from my friends ♪ 9 00:00:35,068 --> 00:00:36,601 ♪ Whoa-oa-oa-oa ♪ 10 00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:38,536 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 11 00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:42,707 ♪ Somebody who knows quite sure ♪ 12 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:43,908 ♪ Baby ♪ 13 00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:46,444 ♪ By with a little help from my friends ♪ 14 00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:48,747 ♪ Said I'm gonna make it with my friends ♪ 15 00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:51,550 ♪ Try with a little help from my friends ♪ 16 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,752 ♪ Oh, I'm gonna keep on trying ♪ 17 00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:56,455 ♪ High with a little help from my friends ♪ 18 00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:58,957 ♪ I'm gonna keep on trying now, baby ♪ 19 00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:03,327 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 20 00:01:04,530 --> 00:01:06,030 Genetics... 21 00:01:06,032 --> 00:01:08,566 the heartbeat of heredity, 22 00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,602 the linchpin of the family. 23 00:01:12,172 --> 00:01:14,305 Parents supply their children 24 00:01:14,307 --> 00:01:17,442 with the same basic building blocks, 25 00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:19,811 the same blood types, 26 00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:22,413 the same involuntary responses, 27 00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:25,816 the same essential gene pool. 28 00:01:25,818 --> 00:01:29,120 Yet, despite all this potential for similarity, 29 00:01:29,122 --> 00:01:31,556 sometimes things get confused. 30 00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:35,493 Sometimes, mother nature, in all her wry sense of humor, 31 00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:37,094 goes off and creates... 32 00:01:37,096 --> 00:01:38,530 Move, butthead. 33 00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:40,799 Total and complete opposites... 34 00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:43,367 Try to get some toothpaste in your mouth. 35 00:01:43,369 --> 00:01:45,536 It might help, buttbreath. 36 00:01:45,538 --> 00:01:47,772 Like me and my brother, Wayne. 37 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:52,310 It was hard to believe we ever occupied the same womb. 38 00:01:52,312 --> 00:01:54,346 That's disgusting. 39 00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:55,713 Where's the deodorant? 40 00:01:55,715 --> 00:01:58,015 You haven't even showered yet. 41 00:01:58,017 --> 00:01:59,684 Well, I'm dry-cleaning. 42 00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:01,886 The only thing we had in common 43 00:02:01,888 --> 00:02:05,657 was our complete and utter contempt for one another. 44 00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:08,293 You're really gross. You know that? 45 00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:09,894 So? 46 00:02:09,896 --> 00:02:11,195 Wayne? 47 00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:13,698 How many times I have to tell you to leave my things alone? 48 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:16,501 I'm sorry, Dad. Uh, it'll never happen again. 49 00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:21,239 All in all, my brother and I 50 00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:24,508 were just two different branches on the family tree... 51 00:02:24,510 --> 00:02:27,244 me, the good branch, 52 00:02:27,246 --> 00:02:30,748 Wayne, the dead end. 53 00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:33,284 You got the wedding invitation, Norma? 54 00:02:33,286 --> 00:02:35,553 It's in my beauty case, honey. 55 00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:37,388 We should take route 93 56 00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:39,991 through Hutsonville and avoid the traffic. 57 00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:43,328 I can't believe that iris is finally getting married. 58 00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:45,363 April 1972. 59 00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:47,465 History was being made. 60 00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:49,267 For the first time in our lives, 61 00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:51,969 our parents were leaving us alone for the weekend. 62 00:02:51,971 --> 00:02:54,506 To us, it meant freedom, independence... 63 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:57,242 Boys, the white casserole dish is for tonight, 64 00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:59,377 and the cold cuts are for Saturday. 65 00:02:59,379 --> 00:03:01,145 And, of course, instructions. 66 00:03:01,147 --> 00:03:02,280 Right, Mom. 67 00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:04,115 There's a list of chores on the fridge. 68 00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:05,450 I want them done when we get back. 69 00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:06,818 Right, Dad. 70 00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:09,086 And, Wayne, don't leave your towels by the heater 71 00:03:09,088 --> 00:03:10,488 while we're gone. 72 00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:11,689 I won't! 73 00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:13,457 You did last week, and look what happened. 74 00:03:13,459 --> 00:03:15,259 - Well, I put it out! - Wayne! 75 00:03:15,261 --> 00:03:16,628 Honey, we better go. 76 00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,162 Yeah. 77 00:03:18,164 --> 00:03:19,897 And you have the number where we'll be. 78 00:03:19,899 --> 00:03:21,666 - Right, Mom. - Right, Mom. 79 00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:23,468 And don't forget those chores. 80 00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:26,070 And don't tie up the line in case we want to call you. 81 00:03:26,072 --> 00:03:27,772 And I don't want a lot of kids over here 82 00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:29,107 while we're gone this weekend. 83 00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:30,709 - You got that? - Dad, we're not babies anymore. 84 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,043 We can take care of ourselves. 85 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:34,746 Well, in a manner of speaking, anyway. 86 00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:37,582 Don't worry, Dad. I'll look after him. 87 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,754 [ Door closes ] 88 00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:45,156 Not that, as loyal, loving children, 89 00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:47,658 we weren't gonna miss our parents... 90 00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:49,493 Dad? 91 00:03:49,495 --> 00:03:52,296 Yeah? 92 00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:54,699 You gonna give us any money? 93 00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:56,501 [ Sighs ] 94 00:03:58,405 --> 00:03:59,970 Here's a $20. 95 00:03:59,972 --> 00:04:03,207 It's the smallest I got. Split it. 96 00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:05,409 Thanks. -Are you sure you two boys are gonna be all right? 97 00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:07,979 Yeah, Mom. Have a good time. 98 00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:09,280 Yeah. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. 99 00:04:09,282 --> 00:04:10,314 [ Chuckles ] 100 00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:15,720 [ Engine turns over ] - Bye! 101 00:04:15,722 --> 00:04:16,921 And with that... 102 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,090 Don't be late for school! 103 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,959 My parents were gone, 104 00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:24,329 leaving us to defend the Arnold family fortress. 105 00:04:24,331 --> 00:04:27,498 [ Sighs ] Well, I'm out of here. 106 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:30,702 Wait a minute. You're going to school early? 107 00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:33,637 No. There's no school today. It's a holiday. 108 00:04:33,639 --> 00:04:35,973 It's national parents-go-away day. 109 00:04:35,975 --> 00:04:37,308 [ Chuckles ] 110 00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:39,643 Ta-ta, scrote. 111 00:04:39,645 --> 00:04:41,645 So much for defending the old fortress. 112 00:04:41,647 --> 00:04:44,515 Hey! Hey, what about my money? 113 00:04:44,517 --> 00:04:46,484 Wayne, you owe me 10 bucks! 114 00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:48,085 Oh! 115 00:04:48,087 --> 00:04:50,221 - Fresh out of change. - Wayne. 116 00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:52,991 I'm sorry. It'll never happen again. 117 00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:57,561 Don't wait up for me, honey. 118 00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:04,602 And suddenly, for the first time in my life, 119 00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:06,804 I found myself completely alone 120 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:09,974 with one empty house, two days to myself, 121 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,943 and nothing to do but... 122 00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:14,445 I know! Let's have a party! 123 00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:17,248 Head directly for trouble. 124 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,651 Come on, guys, my parents said they didn't want a lot of people there. 125 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,218 What people? 126 00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:23,220 It's just us guys. 127 00:05:23,222 --> 00:05:24,622 We just thought since you have a whole house to yourself, 128 00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:26,557 you might want to take advantage of it. 129 00:05:26,559 --> 00:05:28,292 What are we gonna do at my house? 130 00:05:28,294 --> 00:05:29,961 Everything! 131 00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:30,695 Hang out. 132 00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:32,029 Stuff our faces. 133 00:05:32,031 --> 00:05:33,164 Order pizza. 134 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,932 Stupid question. 135 00:05:34,934 --> 00:05:36,400 Maybe we could get some beer. 136 00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:38,837 Yeah! We can drink till our heads hurt! 137 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,070 Come on, Kev, it'll be great! 138 00:05:40,072 --> 00:05:41,339 I don't know. 139 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,575 After all, certain rules had been set, 140 00:05:44,577 --> 00:05:46,478 and nothing could be said to make me break them. 141 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,546 Look, guys, if Kevin's parents said 142 00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:50,381 not to have anyone in the house, 143 00:05:50,383 --> 00:05:53,017 then he shouldn't have anyone in the house. 144 00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,418 Period. 145 00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:56,620 Nothing, except that. 146 00:05:56,622 --> 00:05:59,190 I didn't say that, Paul. 147 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,959 Great! 148 00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:03,427 So, are we having a party or not? 149 00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:07,131 Yeah, well... 150 00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:09,033 Maybe we could do something. 151 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:11,669 Play poker, but just us guys. 152 00:06:11,671 --> 00:06:12,904 Yeah, all right. 153 00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:15,606 Like I said, I could handle this. 154 00:06:15,608 --> 00:06:18,609 I was the responsible son, not like... 155 00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:23,681 my brother, the slug. 156 00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:27,117 Nice of you to get out of bed, butthead. 157 00:06:27,119 --> 00:06:29,921 Shut up, troll. Besides, what's the hurry? 158 00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:32,423 Well, for one thing, it's 11:00. 159 00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:34,859 What? What, you have a plane to catch? 160 00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:37,227 No, but Dad did leave some chores for us to do. 161 00:06:37,229 --> 00:06:39,396 Oh. 162 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:44,135 Wax Wayne's car. [ Chuckles ] 163 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:46,236 That's not on the list, nimrod. 164 00:06:46,238 --> 00:06:48,238 Yeah, well... 165 00:06:51,510 --> 00:06:54,178 it is now. 166 00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:56,781 There you go. [ Chuckles ] 167 00:06:56,783 --> 00:06:59,350 Wayne, we have to get this stuff done! 168 00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:01,051 Sorry. I made other plans. 169 00:07:01,053 --> 00:07:02,787 Well, I made other plans, too, you know. 170 00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:04,922 Like what? 171 00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:09,193 Well... I'm having a party here tonight. 172 00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:11,295 You're having a party? What are you gonna do, rent a pony? 173 00:07:11,297 --> 00:07:14,999 No. Just some of the guys are coming over to play poker. 174 00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:18,703 That's not a party. Th-that's a butthead convention. 175 00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:20,538 Hold on, here. 176 00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:21,906 Hey! 177 00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:24,074 What are you doing tonight that's so great? 178 00:07:24,076 --> 00:07:26,477 Well, it just so happens 179 00:07:26,479 --> 00:07:28,846 there's a guy from north central who's having a beer blast, 180 00:07:28,848 --> 00:07:31,382 so don't leave the light on for me. 181 00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:33,251 Fine. I won't. 182 00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:35,520 Hey, what did I care? 183 00:07:35,522 --> 00:07:39,858 After all, I was gonna have a pretty wild time of my own... 184 00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:42,126 - Whose bet is it? - I don't know. 185 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,827 Is there any more pizza? 186 00:07:43,829 --> 00:07:46,830 Assuming your idea of a wild time 187 00:07:46,832 --> 00:07:49,467 was an evening of never-ending boredom. 188 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,669 Ricky, come on, will you? 189 00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:54,439 Don't rush me. I'm thinking. 190 00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:58,309 I fold. 191 00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:01,211 After all that, you fold? 192 00:08:01,213 --> 00:08:03,080 I wasn't sure. 193 00:08:03,082 --> 00:08:05,082 I don't believe this. 194 00:08:05,084 --> 00:08:06,283 I'll raise. 195 00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:08,152 I'll see you. 196 00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,419 Randy, watch it, will you? 197 00:08:09,421 --> 00:08:11,421 This is my Dad's good card table! 198 00:08:11,423 --> 00:08:13,490 Yes, Mrs. Arnold! 199 00:08:13,492 --> 00:08:16,127 You'll never be able to see it once it dries. 200 00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:18,196 Man, this is the worst party I've ever been to. 201 00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:19,596 You said it. 202 00:08:19,598 --> 00:08:21,765 The thing was, they were right. 203 00:08:21,767 --> 00:08:22,934 We had hit rock bottom. 204 00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:25,569 Look, this was your idea in the first place. 205 00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:27,905 If you guys know so much about having a great time, 206 00:08:27,907 --> 00:08:29,606 well, what are you gonna do about it? 207 00:08:29,608 --> 00:08:32,409 We could invite some girls. 208 00:08:32,411 --> 00:08:35,245 Okay, possibly a mistake here. 209 00:08:35,247 --> 00:08:36,147 Are you kidding? 210 00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:38,116 It's 7:30 on a Saturday night. 211 00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:39,917 How are we gonna get girls? 212 00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:42,086 Uhhuh, well, I know it's late, 213 00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:44,255 but, well, it's gonna be a lot of fun. 214 00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:47,058 Um... His parents are out of town. 215 00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,527 The first rule of sophomore boys... 216 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:52,730 if it's female, call it. If it answers, invite it. 217 00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:54,399 Chuck. 218 00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:56,133 Chuck! 219 00:08:56,135 --> 00:08:58,369 I'm in your bio class. 220 00:08:59,739 --> 00:09:02,039 No. Not Chuck Thorson. 221 00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:03,808 Chuck Coleman. 222 00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:08,646 But, um... 223 00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:11,115 Chuck Thorson will be there. 224 00:09:14,086 --> 00:09:16,253 Great. Uh, see you. 225 00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:18,089 - What'd she say? -What'd she say? - What'd she say? 226 00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:19,290 She's coming. 227 00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:20,824 - Yes. - Great! -Cool! 228 00:09:20,826 --> 00:09:23,327 And she's bringing her sister. 229 00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:24,328 Hold the phone. 230 00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:25,329 What? 231 00:09:25,331 --> 00:09:26,797 A party was one thing. 232 00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:29,299 A full-scale orgy was something else. 233 00:09:29,301 --> 00:09:32,036 Chuck, wait a minute. I thought I said one girl each. 234 00:09:32,038 --> 00:09:33,704 What was I supposed to do? 235 00:09:33,706 --> 00:09:35,739 Tell her she couldn't come? 236 00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:37,642 Yeah. Give him a break. 237 00:09:37,644 --> 00:09:39,110 Okay. 238 00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:41,912 But from now on, just one per guy, okay? 239 00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:43,747 And from such tiny concessions... 240 00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:46,583 My turn. 241 00:09:46,585 --> 00:09:49,253 Do full-scale catastrophes grow. 242 00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:52,590 [ Doorbell rings ] 243 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:53,324 Hi, Kevin! 244 00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:54,458 Hi, Alice! 245 00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:56,828 Not that it started out so badly. 246 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,730 Hey, this is it! Are we here? 247 00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:00,064 Who are they? 248 00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:01,465 This is our brother, Charlie, his friend eddy, 249 00:10:01,467 --> 00:10:03,200 eddy's cousin Deborah, and her best friend Carolyn. 250 00:10:03,202 --> 00:10:04,468 I needed a ride. 251 00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:06,003 Is that okay with you? 252 00:10:06,005 --> 00:10:07,671 Well... -Hey, yeah. The more the merrier. 253 00:10:07,673 --> 00:10:09,040 Come on in. 254 00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:10,474 [ Indistinct talking ] 255 00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:12,043 Yeah, sure. 256 00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:14,178 Just make yourselves at home. 257 00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:15,546 What's the matter, Kev? 258 00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,548 Randy, I said a couple of people. 259 00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:20,718 Now I got brothers and cousins and friends. 260 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:24,655 Come on, Kev, you gonna relax and have a good time, or not? 261 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,327 Well... Okay. 262 00:10:30,329 --> 00:10:33,764 After all, how much worse could things get? 263 00:10:33,766 --> 00:10:37,134 Hey, man. I-is there a party here? 264 00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:39,470 Yeah. Come on in! 265 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:46,210 A lot worse. 266 00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:48,012 [ Crash ] 267 00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:51,348 [ Doorbell rings ] 268 00:10:51,350 --> 00:10:53,717 [ "Judy In Disguise (With Glasses)" Plays ] 269 00:10:53,719 --> 00:10:55,552 - Hi. - Hi. 270 00:10:55,554 --> 00:10:56,788 Nice house. 271 00:10:56,790 --> 00:11:00,491 By around 9:00, my modest get-together 272 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,126 was turning into a happening. 273 00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:03,727 [ Doorbell rings ] 274 00:11:03,729 --> 00:11:05,362 There were people I was glad to see... 275 00:11:05,364 --> 00:11:07,164 Hi. 276 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,800 [ Doorbell rings ] 277 00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:11,869 Those I was surprised to see... 278 00:11:11,871 --> 00:11:13,437 [ Doorbell rings ] 279 00:11:13,439 --> 00:11:17,942 And those I'd never seen before in my life. 280 00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:19,310 ♪ Judy in disguise ♪ 281 00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,578 Still, I kept telling myself things were under control... 282 00:11:21,580 --> 00:11:22,579 Nice. 283 00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:23,881 Even though they weren't. 284 00:11:23,883 --> 00:11:26,517 - Kev, great party. - What are you talking about? 285 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:27,952 This is a disaster! 286 00:11:27,954 --> 00:11:29,720 I'll say it's a disaster. 287 00:11:29,722 --> 00:11:32,924 And there, finally, a voice of reason in the crowd. 288 00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,292 We're out of food! 289 00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:35,426 What? 290 00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:37,494 We're down to mayonnaise sandwiches. 291 00:11:37,496 --> 00:11:39,797 Hey, why don't you go pick up some stuff? 292 00:11:39,799 --> 00:11:41,165 That's a great idea. 293 00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:43,500 Hey, no. Wait a minute! I never said you could... 294 00:11:43,502 --> 00:11:45,169 really nice place, Kenny. 295 00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:47,905 Uh, Kevin. Thanks. 296 00:11:47,907 --> 00:11:50,307 I had only one fallback... 297 00:11:50,309 --> 00:11:52,710 Hey, Arnie. 298 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:55,246 Damage control. 299 00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:56,580 Hey! 300 00:11:56,582 --> 00:11:58,683 You mind not putting the glasses on the piano? 301 00:11:58,685 --> 00:12:01,519 Sure. 302 00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:04,055 Here you go. Can you hold that for me? 303 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,356 No problem. 304 00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:08,159 Okay, maybe I wasn't exactly the ideal host. 305 00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,794 At least I was keeping a lid on things. 306 00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:13,430 [ Fizzes ] 307 00:12:18,637 --> 00:12:21,505 Hey, look what I found! A casserole! 308 00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:24,108 But not only were matters getting out of hand... 309 00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:25,176 Will you look at this! 310 00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:26,944 Can you get your head out of there? 311 00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:28,779 They were getting into the wrong hands. 312 00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:29,947 Who are you? 313 00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:34,151 Uh... I'm, uh, k-Kevin Arnold. 314 00:12:34,153 --> 00:12:35,086 Who are you? 315 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,821 I'm a friend of Betsy Wagner. 316 00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:39,423 Who's she? 317 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,124 [ Telephone ringing ] 318 00:12:41,126 --> 00:12:44,361 And just when I thought things had reached rock bottom, 319 00:12:44,363 --> 00:12:46,463 they went into negative numbers. 320 00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:48,699 Shut up, everyone! I think it's my parents! 321 00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:50,167 [ Music stops ] 322 00:12:50,169 --> 00:12:52,469 [ Ringing continues ] 323 00:13:01,047 --> 00:13:03,180 Hello? 324 00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:07,919 [ Sighs ] Chuck, where are you? 325 00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:11,688 [ Music resumes ] 326 00:13:11,690 --> 00:13:13,724 Chuck, how could you leave your wallet on my dresser? 327 00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:15,058 Shh! Keep your voice down. 328 00:13:15,060 --> 00:13:16,927 I took it out when the girls came over. 329 00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:18,629 Why? 330 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:22,299 'Cause it made my rear end look lumpy, all right? 331 00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:23,734 Look, just hurry up, okay? 332 00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:27,004 All I wanted to do was get back to my unprotected house 333 00:13:27,006 --> 00:13:28,472 as soon as possible. 334 00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:31,609 Okay, got candy... 335 00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:33,877 Potato chips... 336 00:13:33,879 --> 00:13:36,447 Some pretzels... 337 00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:37,915 Crackers. 338 00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:40,117 That'll be $2.64. 339 00:13:40,119 --> 00:13:42,420 And, uh... 340 00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:45,256 We'll, uh... we'll also take, uh... 341 00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:46,757 we'll take this. 342 00:13:47,526 --> 00:13:48,559 Chuck! 343 00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:51,495 Don't worry, Kev! I'll pay for it! 344 00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:53,230 You got an I.D. For that? 345 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,201 Sure. Sure. 346 00:14:00,973 --> 00:14:03,307 "Richard Piedmont"? 347 00:14:03,309 --> 00:14:07,711 Well, it's... it's Chuck for short. 348 00:14:07,713 --> 00:14:09,613 27? 349 00:14:09,615 --> 00:14:12,950 My mother smoked. 350 00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:14,718 What year were you born? 351 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,354 April 22, 1945. 352 00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,756 I live at 303 grant street. I weigh 166 pounds. 353 00:14:19,758 --> 00:14:22,059 I have blue eyes, and I'm near-sighted. 354 00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:25,863 [ Laughs ] 355 00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:32,603 [ Chuckles ] 356 00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:36,107 How did he know? 357 00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:37,574 Well, maybe you don't look near-sighted, Chuck. 358 00:14:37,576 --> 00:14:39,343 You know, next time I'm gonna squint. 359 00:14:39,345 --> 00:14:41,645 Look, Chuck, let's just get out of here, okay? 360 00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:42,712 Geez, Kev. 361 00:14:42,714 --> 00:14:44,481 You're a little testy tonight. You know that? 362 00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:47,051 Testy? I was fed up. 363 00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:49,453 Look, Chuck, I've had it! 364 00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:52,156 This whole thing has gotten completely out of control! 365 00:14:52,158 --> 00:14:53,957 As a matter of fact, the minute I get home, 366 00:14:53,959 --> 00:14:55,459 everyone's out of there, okay? 367 00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:58,396 And that was that. Case closed. 368 00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,631 Look! Beer! 369 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:01,732 A whole keg! 370 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:04,801 Yeah, we're going to a great party. 371 00:15:04,803 --> 00:15:07,338 - You guys need a lift? - No. 372 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:08,739 Where is it? 373 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,640 It's about 10 blocks from here. 374 00:15:10,642 --> 00:15:14,644 Some kid named, uh... 375 00:15:14,646 --> 00:15:16,080 Arnold. 376 00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,147 [ Siren wailing ] 377 00:15:17,149 --> 00:15:19,516 [ "I want to take you higher" plays ] 378 00:15:23,956 --> 00:15:25,722 A lot of things raced through my head 379 00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:27,391 driving home that night... 380 00:15:27,393 --> 00:15:29,727 things like arrest... 381 00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,462 Imprisonment... 382 00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:32,863 Death. 383 00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:37,435 And this one goes out to all the guys and gals 384 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:40,504 partying tonight at Kevin Arnold's house. 385 00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:43,874 ♪ Don't ya want to get higher? ♪ 386 00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:49,246 ♪ Don't ya want to get higher? ♪ 387 00:15:49,248 --> 00:15:54,384 ♪ Baby, baby, baby, light my fire ♪ 388 00:15:54,386 --> 00:15:57,221 But nothing, and I mean nothing 389 00:15:57,223 --> 00:15:59,623 could have prepared me for what I saw. 390 00:16:16,341 --> 00:16:19,676 I, Kevin Arnold, 391 00:16:19,678 --> 00:16:22,213 had thrown the mother of all parties. 392 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:34,725 [ Rooster crows ] 393 00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:37,527 It was 6:00 A.M. when the last guest left. 394 00:16:37,529 --> 00:16:39,429 After three hours of cleaning, 395 00:16:39,431 --> 00:16:41,731 I'd barely scratched the surface. 396 00:16:41,733 --> 00:16:44,534 It was like trying to straighten up after Woodstock. 397 00:16:44,536 --> 00:16:46,170 [ Vehicle approaches ] 398 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:50,541 Still... It wasn't the cigarette burns or the carpet stains 399 00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:52,943 that worried me most. 400 00:16:52,945 --> 00:16:54,878 Hey, butthead, are you home? 401 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,113 [ Door closes ] 402 00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:00,617 Oh, my God. 403 00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:06,556 What happened? 404 00:17:06,558 --> 00:17:07,958 Shut up, Wayne. 405 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,860 [ Laughs ] 406 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,897 This is unbelievable. 407 00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:15,999 Man, are you in trouble! 408 00:17:16,001 --> 00:17:17,968 You think so? 409 00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:19,670 [ Laughs ] 410 00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:21,772 No doubt about it! 411 00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:24,508 What am I gonna do? 412 00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:25,876 Well, uh... 413 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:29,146 If it were up to me, I'd probably kill myself. 414 00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:30,981 Wayne, you got to help me. 415 00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:32,916 Hey, relax. 416 00:17:32,918 --> 00:17:34,318 The folks don't get home till 4:00, 417 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:35,852 and that gives you about three hours 418 00:17:35,854 --> 00:17:37,354 to get the place in shape. 419 00:17:37,356 --> 00:17:39,656 What a comfort. 420 00:17:39,658 --> 00:17:40,957 Wayne, where you going? 421 00:17:40,959 --> 00:17:43,394 Aren't you gonna give me a hand? 422 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:47,031 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm all booked up this afternoon. 423 00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:50,901 Clearly, it was time for a last-minute desperate plea. 424 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:51,968 Wayne! 425 00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:54,304 Wayne, come on. You got to help me. 426 00:17:54,306 --> 00:17:55,472 You know, scrote, 427 00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:57,774 I actually think this is gonna be good for you. 428 00:17:57,776 --> 00:18:00,477 And I guess that's when I realized 429 00:18:00,479 --> 00:18:04,280 Wayne Arnold... my brother, my own flesh and blood... 430 00:18:04,282 --> 00:18:07,051 had the heart of a toadstool. 431 00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:08,885 Fine. 432 00:18:08,887 --> 00:18:11,655 If you don't want to help me, then I'll do it myself. 433 00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:12,956 [ Chuckles ] 434 00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:15,259 Hey, I didn't need him. I didn't need anyone. 435 00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:16,893 [ Horn honks ] 436 00:18:16,895 --> 00:18:18,729 Except maybe a priest... 437 00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:20,231 Or a registered nurse. 438 00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:25,068 Boy... This really isn't your day. 439 00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:26,169 Hi! 440 00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:27,170 Thanks. 441 00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:29,973 Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. 442 00:18:29,975 --> 00:18:31,574 You guys are home a bit early. 443 00:18:31,576 --> 00:18:33,277 Well, you know your father. 444 00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:35,012 Yeah, good old Dad. 445 00:18:35,014 --> 00:18:36,546 Everything okay? 446 00:18:36,548 --> 00:18:37,781 Yeah, everything's fine. 447 00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:40,284 How about you, Kev? 448 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,586 But somehow there were just no words to express it. 449 00:18:42,588 --> 00:18:44,287 Well, I'm going in. 450 00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:47,758 You boys bring in the luggage. 451 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,292 It's good to be home. 452 00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:51,528 And so it came down to this... 453 00:18:51,530 --> 00:18:54,665 a tragic end to the age of innocence, 454 00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:58,668 a farewell to the era of parental trust. 455 00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:00,537 Maybe they won't notice. 456 00:19:00,539 --> 00:19:03,207 [ Laughs ] 457 00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:14,051 The thing is, I was prepared for the yelling, the screaming, 458 00:19:14,053 --> 00:19:15,652 the gnashing of teeth. 459 00:19:18,124 --> 00:19:21,224 But what I wasn't prepared for was... 460 00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:30,000 the complete and utter silence. 461 00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:37,674 What happened?! 462 00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:41,011 Well,maybe this was justice, 463 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:43,881 a payback for all the times I'd laughed at Wayne 464 00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:45,448 when he got in trouble. 465 00:19:45,450 --> 00:19:48,552 I don't believe this. 466 00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:51,855 In any case, there was no way out. 467 00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:56,092 Look, Dad, I-I know you're angry, 468 00:19:56,094 --> 00:19:58,028 and you have every right to be, because... 469 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,964 Kevin, you stay out of this! 470 00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:02,866 What? 471 00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:04,768 Wayne... 472 00:20:06,104 --> 00:20:09,773 how could you do something like this? 473 00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:15,879 What? 474 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:19,016 No. Dad... 475 00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:21,251 Wayne, I want an answer! I want an answer now! 476 00:20:27,159 --> 00:20:28,892 'Course, he should have told. 477 00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:31,895 It was the moment he had been waiting for his whole life. 478 00:20:36,368 --> 00:20:38,068 I'm sorry. 479 00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:41,572 It'll never happen again. 480 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,042 But he didn't. 481 00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:50,847 I'm not sure why he didn't. 482 00:20:50,849 --> 00:20:53,917 Maybe he saw it was futile to try and explain. 483 00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:55,885 Maybe he knew how much harder 484 00:20:55,887 --> 00:20:59,423 my parents would be on me than on him. 485 00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:03,293 Or maybe he forgot and thought he really did it. 486 00:21:03,295 --> 00:21:06,863 We'll talk about this later, Wayne. 487 00:21:06,865 --> 00:21:10,668 Right now, start cleaning this mess up. 488 00:21:29,321 --> 00:21:32,389 Or just maybe, for that one afternoon... 489 00:21:32,391 --> 00:21:33,690 Wayne. 490 00:21:33,692 --> 00:21:37,894 My brother saw in me a little bit of himself. 491 00:21:37,896 --> 00:21:42,465 You know, you really are a butthead. 492 00:21:56,649 --> 00:22:00,150 Growing up brothers is kind of a mixed bag... 493 00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:01,985 strangers... 494 00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:03,219 Warriors... 495 00:22:03,221 --> 00:22:04,688 Enemies... 496 00:22:04,690 --> 00:22:06,322 Idiots... 497 00:22:06,324 --> 00:22:08,058 Friends. 498 00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:10,360 One day, you fight to the death. 499 00:22:10,362 --> 00:22:14,397 The next, you'll lay down your lives for each other. 500 00:22:17,536 --> 00:22:21,137 I never did say thanks to Wayne for what he did. 501 00:22:21,139 --> 00:22:24,340 But I washed his Corvair. 502 00:22:24,342 --> 00:22:26,509 Waxed it, too. 503 00:22:26,511 --> 00:22:31,014 I figured, hey, any guy who'd do a thing like that 504 00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:33,917 deserved a shiny car.