[ horns honk ]
By the time you've made it to age 16,
You pretty much know all there is to know.
Couple of burgers, fries, and two shakes.
Yeah, here you go. thanks.
about history, philosophy, the world...
Hey, Kev.
Hey.
...about life.
There's virtually no situation you can't handle.
Here you go.
Thanks.
Can i get you anything else?
No. it looks great.
I put the relish on the side.
That's just the way i like it.
Yeah, you're on top of your game --
The pinnacle of poise, the essence of cool.
No doubt about it.
From the right thing to wear to the right place to sit
To the right person to sit with.
At 16, you've pretty much learned it all.
Well, almost all.
Are you sure you got enough relish, Kevin?
Huh?
Okay, so there's one subject
you're just as dumb about as you ever were.
Winnie, it's not what you think.
I, uh...just...i, uh...
[ ringo starr's "you're sixteen" plays ]
Yeah -- love.
♪ you come on like a dream ♪
What's the matter?
Stomach feeling a little queasy, is it?
Feels like the least little thing might set it off?
Winnie, please.
Maybe i should get you something to eat!
How about some...cole slaw?
Liver?
Fried squid?! Winnie! [ groans ]
Oh, you poor thing, you're not comfy!
[ groans ] Let me fix your pillows!
Oh, you have a fever! you're burning up!
That's okay. i'll help you.
Poor baby, now you're cold!
Well, here's your blankie!
You're rude, insensitive, thoughtless, and smug!
♪ we fell in love on the night we met ♪
That's the most insensitive thing...
i've ever heard in my life!
You don't understand anything, Kevin!
You don't understand anything at all!
♪ could not stop ♪
♪ you walked out of my dreams ♪
♪ and into my arms ♪
♪ now you're my angel... ♪
Well...i, uh -- i just, uh...
I hope you're hungry!
[ scoffs ]
Like i said, at 16, you've learned nothing.
[ kazoo solo ]
Nothing at all.
♪ what would you do if i sang out of tune? ♪
♪ would you stand up and walk out on me? ♪
♪ lend me your ears, and i'll sing you a song ♪
♪ i will try not to sing out of key, yeah ♪
♪ oh, baby, i get by ♪ ♪ by with a little help from my friends ♪
♪ all i need is my buddies ♪
♪ high with a little help from my friends ♪
♪ i'm sayin'i'm gonna get higher ♪ ♪ try with a little help from my friends ♪
♪ whoa-oa-oa-oa ♪
♪ oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ somebody who knows quite sure ♪
♪ baby ♪
♪ by with a little help from my friends ♪
♪ said i'm gonna make it with my friends ♪
♪ try with a little help from my friends ♪
♪ oh, i'm gonna keep on trying ♪
♪ high with a little help from my friends ♪
♪ i'm gonna keep on trying now, baby ♪
♪ ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
Adolescence.
The age of maturity, confidence,
boundless self-assurance...
and, let's not forget, unutterable misery.
Fortunately, in times of crisis,
every teenager has a secret weapon.
His friends.
So, uh, what happened?
What? Winnie.
What did you do?
That's just it. I didn't really do anything.
I just ordered some food.
Right! Right! Right! Right!
Man, you blew it.
Thanks, Paul.
Hey, come on.
Take it easy on the guy.
I mean, his best girl just walked out on him.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, that's the thing about friends.
They're always there -- with sympathy, support...
So...she's probably not gonna eat the hamburger, right?
Yeah, can i have her fries?
Yeah, don't let that shake go to waste!
But most of all, growing up,
they're the guys who never fail you,
who never lose faith in you.
You can't do that.
Yes, i can!
Kevin, you're talking about Winnie Cooper here.
I mean, get real.
What's your point?
Look, i just know that if carla dumped me,
i could never go and talk to her
about liking the guy she dumped me for.
She didn't dump me, Paul.
eEpecially if it's somebody like kirk mccray.
It doesn't bother me, okay?
Somebody older who's, like, twice my size.
What difference does that make?
Who's got muscles out to here
and a dark tan in the middle of the winter.
Well, maybe i'm not like you, Paul!
Maybe i'm just a little more secure than that, okay?
Yeah. sure.
Look, there's no reason i can't talk to Winnie!
We're still friends!
aAl i have to do is go up to her and say...
[ operatic voice ] ♪ somehow ♪
♪ someday ♪
♪ somewhe-e-e-re ♪
♪ somewhe-e-e-e-re ♪ ♪ somewhe-e-e-e-re ♪
Kev...you got to do something about this.
Like what?
Like talk to her.
Yeah. always worked for me.
When did it work for you?
Well...hypothetically.
Yeah. you're right.
After all,
there are some quandaries in a young man's life
that even his friends can't solve for him...
Go on, Kev. give it a shot.
Yeah!
...times when a teenager
needs to stand up and act from his heart...
[ bell rings ]
...draw on his vast experience, and let poetry do the rest.
Is there something i can do for you, Kevin? huh?
I need to talk to Winnie. i'm sorry, but that won't be possible.
I just have to explain. Gwendolyn doesn't wish to speak to you right now.
I hope i make myself clear.
[ doorbell rings ]
Kevin!
Winnie... i just want you to know that...
I know.
No, you don't have to say anything.
Just...know that i know. okay?
Know what?
Winnie! Paul told me!
And i'm glad he did!
Paul told you?
Well, yeah! isn't that great?!
Paul told you?!
He says you're crazy about me!
[ door slams, dog barks in distance ]
I got this for you.
It's not much, but...
I mean, they had this great one for 48 bucks.
But, uh...anyway...
It's stainless...
and rustproof, and...
I'd like you to wear it.
I can't take it.
Okay, so vast experience doesn't always apply.
When you're 16, you have other tools at your disposal,
things like...
Yes? Can we help you?
...logic.
Winnie, come on. You're being ridiculous.
You're blowing this whole thing out of proportion.
you're completely overreacting.
I mean, haven't you ever looked at another girl?
And there you have it --
logic, reason, experience.
When you're 16, none of it means a thing.
And nothing counts but the way you feel,
and the way you felt.
The first day you ever really knew...
Hi.
...about love.
Whatcha doing?
Nothing.
Oh.
When are you coming back to school?
Monday.
Oh.
But maybe we could do something tomorrow.
I mean, if you want.
Yeah. I mean, sure.
If you want.
Well, i'm going to my uncle's in the morning,
but i'll be back around 3:00.
Come on, Kev! let's go!
Okay, well, bye. see you tomorrow.
Okay, bye.
Bye.
[ van morrison's "brown-eyed girl" plays ]
♪ hey, where did we go ♪
♪ days when the rains came ♪
♪ down in the hollow ♪
♪ playin' a new game ♪
♪ laughin' and a-runnin', hey, hey ♪
♪ skippin' and a-jumpin' ♪
♪ in the misty morning fog with ♪
♪ ah, our hearts a-thumpin', and you ♪
♪ my brown-eyed girl ♪
♪ you, my brown-eyed girl ♪
♪ and whatever happened ♪
♪ to tuesday and so slow? ♪
♪ going down the old mine with a ♪
♪ transistor radio ♪
♪ standing in the sunlight, laughin' ♪
♪ hiding behind a rainbow's wall with you ♪
♪ my brown-eyed girl ♪
♪ you, my brown-eyed girl ♪
"Friends"?!
Unh! I'll give you "friends"!
Unh!
When you're 12 years old and a guy,
The whole subject of women tends to be pretty much...
a mystery.
Communications with the opposite sex
are still kind of rudimentary.
[ clang! ]
Um, lisa?
Oh, Kevin.
Yeah.
Um, did you just say...
You'd go to the dance with brad?
Well...yeah.
But...
you just said you'd go with me.
That was before brad asked me.
So?
Well...i mean...
You're not gonna...be weird about this or anything, are you?
I mean, I really like you, Kevin...
as a...
[ airplane engine whining ]
...friend.
[ explosion ]
Still, little by little, you begin to catch on.
You master the language of love.
[ speaking french ]
until, by the time you leave junior high school...
Kevin...
Madeline...
Kevin!
[ laughter ]
...you're right back where you started.
"Friends"?!
Unh! I'll give you "friends"!
Unh!
Yeah, you're on top of your game --
The pinnacle of poise, the essence of cool.
Hey, butthead!
Whatcha doing?
None of your business.
Yeah, i heard the coopster dumped you.
Hey, she didn't dump me!
Winnie!
We're not talking to you.
Yeah, you're right, Kev. the girl's all over you.
Bug off, wayne.
Hey, man, i'm sorry.
Really. Yeah, right.
No, no. I am -- i-i-i've been there.
Yeah? Sure. lots of times.
Hey, i got an idea.
Maybe i should go over and talk to her for you.
No. No. Really, wayne.
Come on. i'm your brother. who else you gonna turn to?
Well...
And, of course, the guy did have a point.
I mean, he was family...
or so my parents told me.
Oh, working on your sex education, i see.
I'm not sure you boys are old enough for this.
Give it back, wayne.
Let's see.
Huh.
Pretty hot stuff.
You know, i bet the guys who wrote this book
have never even been to second base.
Well, what's that supposed to mean?
You don't know what second base is?
Of course we know what second base is.
Sort of.
All right... come to think of it,
Maybe that was the problem.
Much of my early formal education...
in the subtleties of male-female relationships
came from a guy who was even more ignorant than i was...
And i'm telling you,
everybody gets to at least second base
by the 7th grade.
...which is not to say the wayner didn't mean well enough.
[ mockingly ] Hey, steve!
It looks like my baby brother
and his girlfriend have found each other.
[ chuckles ]
She's not my girlfriend.
He thinks you are so-o-o cute.
I don't think she's cute.
He wants to give you a big...wet...
kiss.
[ smooches loudly ]
[ chuckles ] He told me.
You liar.
Still, the truth was, when it came to Winnie Cooper,
i'd always been a desperate man.
Come on. i won't say anything. let me just do this.
Well...
And sometimes, desperate times require desperate measures.
Okay.
Winnie! hi!
[ sighs ] Here's the deal.
Besides, think of it this way.
When the whole world hangs in the balance,
help often comes from the least likely places.
Creep!
Huh.
She's all yours.
And there you have it.
The awful truth. the bottom line.
When it comes to love, there's no simple fix.
You're out there on you're own.
And maybe all you can do is hang on
and hope for the best
and lead with your heart.
[ karla bonoff's "wild heart of the young" plays ]
-♪ these days when i... ♪
You're such a jerk.
Huh?
Why'd you have to embarrass me in front of everyone like that?
♪ ...about you ♪
♪ and all that time ♪ I didn't mean to!
You're such a jerk!
♪ we were as one ♪ [ sighs ]
♪ kids on the run ♪
What is with you, huh?!
One minute you like me,
And then the next minute you don't!
First you kiss me,
and then you act like you don't even know me!
You've been doing this all year!
I mean, if you like me, then say so!
But if you don't...
Then...don't act like you do, okay?
♪ ...in your touch ♪
Okay?!
♪ you knew so much ♪
Kevin, i have to go away this summer.
What?!
♪ i loved you like ♪
♪ i'll never love another ♪
I don't want to talk to you.
Look, Winnie, i'm sorry everything got messed up,
But we can straighten it out.
Just leave me alone.
Winnie. Winnie!
I know you like me! shh!
Kevin...
I lied to Paul.
I did tell him i liked somebody else.
He asked me who...
and i said you.
but i didn't really mean it.
♪ and everyone thought i... ♪
I just wanted to let him down easy.
Okay?
♪ but i paid the price ♪
♪ never even thought twice ♪
Kevin...
Look, Winnie, let's just do both ourselves a favor
and keep away from each other.
You really mean that?
of course i really mean that!
It was the biggest lie i'd ever told.
I'll tell you another thing, Winnie.
This whole thing's stupid.
It's really not that big a deal.
And to tell you the truth,
our relationship didn't mean that much to me, all right?
♪ ...to uncover ♪
♪ oh, if i'd only known it then ♪
When you're 16, passions run high.
A simple misunderstanding
becomes a matter of life or death.
Winnie!
You live from moment to moment.
Winnie, can't we at least talk about this?
There's nothing to talk about!
Winnie, stop!
Leave me alone, Kevin.
And sometimes, when you're 16,
the only way to get your love back
is to take it.
Fine. You want to go home, then go.
But i'll tell you this.
If you don't know how i feel about you,
how much i care about you, then you don't know anything, okay?
You're the only girl i ever think about.
You're the only girl i've ever cared about.
The only girl i ever -- Oh, shut up.
♪ how much you taught me-e-e-e-e-e ♪
♪ i loved you like ♪
♪ i'll never love another ♪
♪ with the wild heart of the young ♪
♪ but it took until now ♪
♪ to uncover ♪
♪ oh, if i'd only known it then ♪
♪ i loved you like ♪
♪ i'll never love another ♪
♪ with the wild heart of the young ♪
♪ but it took until now ♪
♪ to uncover ♪
♪ oh, if i'd only known it then ♪