On the afternoon of March 21, 1973, at exactly 2:15 PM,
a rare astronomical event occurred - a total eclipse of the sun.
As the sun, the moon and the earth began to move into line...
So did we.
Miss Corregliano, Mr. Gottlieb, Mr. Cashion, Miss *Leckeroo*, Miss Burke...
So I called him...
Step lively, Miss *Leckaroo*.
We need to be at the Nierman planetarium by noon.
- Mr. Gabler, Mr.... - What a weiner.
A field trip.
It was a chance to bring education to the unwashed masses of the junior class.
Mr. Abramson...
Present.
Like Harlan Abramson, McKinley's living monument to polyunsaturated fats.
Miss Genaro...
Or Mary Jo Genaro. Senior year, she became the first girl at McKinley...
To take her parole officer to the prom.
No smoking, Miss Genaro...
What was I thinking!
Mr. Robinson...
Louis Lanahan. When mankind discovered fire,
they had not quite counted on Louis.
Mr. Donlan, Miss Lowell. Alright, people, let's get moving.
We have a full day ahead of us.
And so, We were on the way to the Nierman planetarium.
Thirty-four students and one teacher on the road to higher education.
Such as it was.
OK, listen everybody.
I must have your complete attention. Please!
Gentlemen!...
Students! People!
Hey, kids shut up back there! Turn that damn radio off!
Animals.
All in all it was the lead opportunity to exchange ideals outside the confines of the classroom.
Truth or dare?
Truth.
To expand the boundaries of higher education...
Who is the best kisser you've ever kissed?
The best?
That would be...
You!
Are you going to play for real or not?
We are!
I asked her an honest question, and...she gave me an honest answer.
Right!
I mean, no one is taking this seriously.
Yeah. You could really learn a lot from this game.
Maybe that's what they're afraid of.
Right, Pooh Bear?
Uh-huh.
OK. Truth or dare?
Truth.
Make it a hard one.
OK. If you had to change one thing about me, what would it be?
Now, of course, moments like this had to be handled carefully.
I wouldn't change a thing.
Oh, come on, Kevin. There's gotta be something about me you want to change.
You can tell me.
No. Nothing.
Forget it! This is joke.
Come on, Kevin. You can tell me.
Well, I am! I mean, you're perfect.
In fact, if I was absolutely forced to pick one thing, that would be it.
What would?
Well, I'd have to say, if anything, sometimes you are...
Too perfect.
Heh-heh!
Too perfect?
Uh-oh!
This field trip chews.
I told you we should have cut today.
Oh, yuck! Look at that!
That Harlan kid's disgusting!
What is he doing that for?
Maybe, he is dieting.
So gross.
Can you imagine kissing him?
Not without barfing!
I wouldn't do it for a million dollars.
I wouldn't do it for anything.
I'd do it for thirty.
There you had it.
Where ordinary mortals saw nothing but a fat kid with a cupcake...
Mary Jo Genaro saw the challenge of a lifetime.
Twenty-five?
Yeah.
And we're gonna need a hickey for proof.
Yeah. A big hickey.
You got it.
Come on, Pooky, we'll show them how it's done.
Chucky, what's the one thing you would change about me? Honestly!
I guess it would have to be, uh...your voice.
What do you mean? What's wrong with my voice?
Not your voice. Ah, your hair.
You don't like my hair?!
No, I like it.
Oh, you ought to talk, Brillohead!
Come on, guys.
Pooky, this is just a game!
Fine! My turn. Truth or dare? I choose truth.
Who is the weasliest, most disgusting, grossest thing
that I have ever laid eyes on in my whole entire life?
Maybe we shouldn't play this anymore.
I'm glad I found out how you really feel about me!
Pooky?
Get out of my way!
Move over.
Move!
I'm so mad I could explode!
Can you believe those two? Getting upset about that stupid game?
No, I can't imagine it.
O- kay...
Oh, come on, Winnie. You can' be that mad...All I said was...
I heard what you said!
In fact, I heard you...perfectly!
Alright, clearly it was time to put this fire out.
Winnie, I meant that as a good thing.
I mean, you're really a nice person.
Well, I mean that as good thing, too. You are like, uh...
Mary Tyler Moore on TV. You know...perky.
Winnie, you gotta admit you've always been kind of...well-behaved.
I mean, there are just certain things you wouldn't do.
Like what?
Hmm, skipping the obvious...
Well...
Like that for instance.
That's not a bad thing, well, you...
It's just...
I mean, you don't have to do that.
Winnie...
Ah!
OK, that does it.
You were saying?
Excuse me. Miss Cooper!
Miss Cooper...
Did you see who threw that spitball?
Yes.
Winnie!
I did it.
I admire your reluctance to turn in your fellow students.
However...
I will tolerate no more rowdy behavior on this bus!
And with that quantum leap forward in human dynamics...
We moved on to more pressing matters.
OK, people, we are making an emergency rest stop for Mr. Abramson who suffers from a nervous colon.
But I must ask the rest of you to please remain in your seats so we can reach the planetarium...on schedule.
It was a thoroughly reasonable request. So, of course...
We ignored it.
Alice, you have a beautiful voice! Like a nightingale.
Shut up, ratface!
I should have chose dare.
Excuse me, Mr. Grant, I must see how Rhoda is doing.
Great.
It seems there was something to be said for keeping higher education confined to the classroom.
Because a little knowledge could be a dangerous thing.
You dropped something.
Enough cherry bombs and ash cans...
To take out an armory.
They're something, aren't they? I got a cousin down in North Carolina ...keeps me supplied.
See this baby?
Yeah, it's, uh...great.
Biggest one they make. Beauty, ain't it?
Great! I was stuck in the men's room with the mad bomber himself.
I got plans for this baby! Look, Arnold...
You seem to be a trust-worthy kind of guy. Do you know what's gonna happen at exactly two-fifteen today?
Yeah, there's going to be an eclipse.
Nah, nah, nah,
That's not all there's gonna be.
They got a toilet at the planetarium. The cherry bomb goes in...
And then...tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, boom!
Maybe he was in some sort of Gestalt therapy...
It's no use. She doesn't want to come out of the ladies' room.
Remember, Arnold, Two-fifteen sharp. Cover your ears.
Wait. I thought we are supposed to just not look at the eclipse.
Forget it, Chuck.
What am I supposed to do? I should have played it safe like you.
Yeah, right.
Excuse me.
Harlan, right?
Want a Yodel?
Yodel-ay-ee-hoo.
I was just so confused. I mean there were so many things to choose from.
Look, Chuck, I've got my own problems, OK?
The way I saw it in the dog-eat-dog world of scientific exploration...
It was every man for himself.
I don't think it looks like Brillo...
You know this was really nice of you.
I'm a very giving person.
Mind if a share your seat?
He better not try to sit here, either. I don't want him anywhere near me.
As things turned out, that wouldn't really be a problem.
Let me out now! I'm going to count to three. One, two, three...Four! Let me out!
And so in the spirit of intellectual discovery and personal enrichment,
we finally reached our destination...
The Nierman planetarium.
Now remember, we'll all meet on the lawn promptly at two o'clock.
If any of you need to use the restrooms, make sure you go before that.
Check.
Tick, tick, tick, boom...
The thing about this place is I always seem to learn something new here.
You know it, pal.
The stage was set.
Now, pe- now people, let's stick together.
The opponents were in their corners...
So, what do we wanna see...
The lines were drawn.
Kevin, have you seen Chuck anywhere?
No!
Well, can you tell him wherever he went to stay away, because I don't want to see him!
Sure. Fine. I gotta go.
Men!
All in all, it promised to be one heck of an eclipse.
As for Chuck...
From now on...
He was navigating by the seat of his pants.
Where is everybody? Hey. Hey! Hello. Hello? Taxi?!
So, you see the movement of the earth causes the pendulum to knock down another peg exactly...every five minutes.
So, with eager faces we entered...
The stimulating world of...astronomy.
Now, at precisely two o'clock...
We'll meet on the front lawn and I will hand each of you a special viewing card.
With the eclipse of the century only an hour away things were really popping.
So, what do you think?
Well, you know...
I know. It's not me, right? Whoever that is.
No.
Look, I love the hat. Here, I'll even buy it for you.
Kevin, don't bother.
I...I think I'll just...wear it out.
Just one little problem here.
Oh God.
May I help you with something?
No, we were...
Let's see.
I...I was...just, uh...
Let's call it...
Never mind.
Shoplifting.
Winnie, are you crazy?
I don't know. Maybe.
Yeah, well, don't do it again! Next time you might get caught.
I wouldn't worry about it, Kevin.
Besides it is your turn!
My turn?
Yeah... You know, now that I think about it...
- You're pretty well-behaved yourself. - Oh, get outta here, Winnie!
No, you are. You're nice, and you're sweet. And to tell you the truth,
well, you've always reminded me of - Beaver Cleaver.
Ouch!
Get outta here! I do not.
Kevin, you know, you talk a good game.
But, I don't see you doing anything.
Fine. What - you want me to shoplift something?
Hmmm.
Well, I've already have a hat. But I'm sure you'll think of something - Theodore.
Bye!
Hey, hey!
Ride! Gimme a ride!
Man, thanks for the ride.
You won't believe this but you probably just saved my -
Don't mention it.
Let's face it.
This eclipse was beginning to affect everybody.
Two hundred and ninety pounds?
Now I'm the big load.
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's OK, Mary Jo.
That's an unusual name, isn't it?
Like you should talk, Harlan.
Oh, no, I meant it's pretty. Like...
Like you.
Oh. It's short.
Hmm?
Mary Josephine.
I bet I weigh a ton on Mars.
Attention, everybody!
It's time to assemble. I want you to follow me...to the front lawn.
No doubt about it.
As the moon's orbit...
Drew closer to the sun...
There was more going on here than simple physics.
Come on, let's get out of here.
Yeah. I don't want to miss this eclipse.
Trust me. You won't miss it at all.
Meanwhile...
I was on a mission of my own.
Forget it, Arnold.
I work solo. It's a lot cleaner that way.
Well, let me just do something.
I mean, it would really help me out with my girlfriend. See, she's got this crazy idea.
OK, OK. Maybe you could be ...like a lookout.
Great.
But I get to flush.
You got it.
OK, let's rock 'n roll.
So, I guess we're probably getting pretty close to the planetarium.
Thanks for picking me up.
You know what I was thinking about?
You know that Alfred Hitchcock episode, this guy is picking up all these hitchhikers., and...
He's got this big butcher knife and he k-
Never mind. You probably didn't see the episode. Did you?
Twenty-seven times.
Remember, don't look directly at the sun! Look at your cards.
And so with the great event just moments away...
We are all so lucky to be here. This is the best viewing spot in the entire state!
Here we are, Arnold.
Final preparations were being made.
Ground zero. Isn't it beautiful?
One little thing - this wasn't just shoplifting!
Look, Louis...maybe this isn't such a good idea.
This was ten-to-twenty in the State pen.
What's the matter, Arnold? You chicken?
No. Just this whole place...
Could blow up or something.
Yeah, it's a risk.
That was one way to put it.
Louis, let's forget about it.
Uh-oh!
Was I looking to bail on this whole thing?
No, don't!
I was a tad too late.
Hey, come back here!
And realistically speaking, there was about only one thing left to do.
Oh, my God!
OK, here it comes.
We're going to achieve totality in twenty, nineteen, eighteen...
Seventeen...
Oh my God, look at that hickey.
Ten, nine...
Alice! Pooky!
I made it!
Four, three, two, one...
Top of the world, Ma!
There it is. A total eclipse!
Isn't science beautiful?
Hello?
I guess you could say that the laws of nature aren't always predictable.
Well, not only did you all miss one of the great natural events of the century...
But the planetarium, I am ashamed to tell you...
Has now decided to ban any future field trips...from McKinley High School.
Alright...
Still, when it came to matters of cause and effect...
I hope that you're all... very proud of yourselves.
I think we managed to learn a thing or two.
Perhaps that day...
Despite all the chaos...
There really were cosmic forces at work.
I can't believe...you gave him a hickey.
That must have been the longest thirty seconds of your life.
Shut your face, Cin!
Forces so powerful...
So profound...
They defied all our attempts of rational explanation.
And then, finally...I jumped out of the truck and
I ran all the way to the planetarium so that I could see y-
Chuck?
Instead of making up these idiotic stories,
just be a man for once and say that you're sorry.
But I-I, I mean I did.
I'm sorry, Pooky.
I forgive you, Pooh Bear.
I mean, hey...
It had taken only five-thousand years to understand the moon...
Winnie?
So, maybe, we were making progress...
About today...
Kevin, I paid for the hat.
I knew that.
Then again, when it came right down to it,
maybe we all learned enough for one day.
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